Everything Can Change
by love-jonasxx
Summary: Abusive father with drunken rages; neglected, unwanted, a mistake - the life of Mitchie Torres. For a girl who never expects anything, can everything really change? give it a chance : you may like it.
1. Call To Arms

**its a neww story timee!! yeahhh! if you are reading this right now i want to thank you for giving my story a chance and your time. =] im always grateful when i know people appreciate my stories. it makes my day better. warning ahead of time: this story may get a little gritty at times. so if you are not into that kind of stuff i would unwillingly like to say you should not read some of these chapters. this one isnt too bad. you should be okay. =] im gonna stop talking now so you can read!!**

**i dont own any of the camp rock characters. i dont own this amazing song by angels & airwaves. all the other people you dont recognize are mine. =] thats all!**

**Chapter One: Call To Arms**

_**There's a little black dark scar tire divide**_

_**This is it, can you hear me?**_

_**Have you ever felt a sad heart buried alive?**_

_**You can do almost anything**_

_**There's a little red bridge with the view of the sun with a lake**_

_**Recommends such a setting sight**_

_**And the thousands of stars come out thousands of times**_

_**We can go, only if you believe.**_

**Call To Arms: Angels & Airwaves**

It was happening again.

Along with the shouting, mostly made by my father, pots clattered and chairs were pushed violently across the linoleum floor. The crash of a plate broke through all the rising hostility in the already tense house. These noises and screaming matches were unfortunately familiar to me. They happened at least once every day – twice on special occasions.

I cranked the music up on my new orange IPod, a gift from my boss, letting the soothing music of Angels & Airwaves block out all the negative noises. My feet tapped along to the opening guitar solo of one of their songs. I reached across the bed and grabbed my guitar [my prized possession] which was perched against the dresser, instantly mimicking the guitar pulsing through my headphones. My fingers flew over the strings with precision and determination only a guitarist had.

Seconds later the bedroom door swung open, smashing against the wall. Pictures fell off the wall clanging to the floor with fear. The sudden noise startled me. The guitar slipped through my fingers and hit the floor loudly. I cringed at the sound.

Blue in the face and fuming, my enraged father crossed the room at hypersonic speed. He ripped the headphones off my head violently.

"You think you own the house, don't you? Sitting up here making all the noise you can on your little guitar," he said, tripping over his words in his drunken rage. He picked up the fallen guitar from the floor. "Think the whole world revolves around you."

He stumbled forward, gripping the guitar like he was about to smash it over his knee. Fear for my guitar pushed aside all thoughts of my own wellbeing.

"Well, I'm going to see that you never play this damn guitar again," he said menacingly, the huge vein in his forehead throbbing red – as it always did when he was angry and drunk.

He lifted the guitar above his head, rearing back to strike.

For the first time my mind registered terror; there was no doubt what he was going to do next. The last thing I heard was my mother scream, "Noo!"

Then everything went black.

* * *

"Oh my God, Mitchie," was the first thing my best friend, Caitlyn Gellar, yelled at me the next morning.

I groaned. "Do I look that bad?"

"As your best friend, I'm inclined to tell you the truth, which is yes, you look terrible. Follow me," she said, dragging me into the closest bathroom.

Caitlyn shoved me in front of the mirror to get her point across. An actual gasp of horror escaped my mouth.

"Did you not look at yourself before you left for school?" asked Caitlyn, digging through her bag.

"I was a little pressed for time this morning," I grumbled at her.

Even I couldn't believe I looked that bad, usually I'm extremely careful about covering up but this morning I woke up ten minutes before school started. The mirror image blinked back at me, I could almost hear it asking what was wrong with me. Above my left eye was a deep red gash about an inch to two inches long. Dry, crusted blood matted parts of my flat brown hair to the cut. I attempted to pry the hair off the cut, but it hurt too badly.

Not only did I have a fresh cut, a bruise was also forming on my left cheek bone. Not to mention the other couple bruises already festering along my arms, legs, and body.

"Honey," Caitlyn said using the tone she uses when she wants me to listen to her closely. "You need to get out of there."

"I can't," I said, it was always the same answer.

Caitlyn scrubbed a wet paper towel against the cut.

"Ow!" I cried, shrinking away from my brunette friends touch.

"Be still," ordered Caitlyn. "I need to clean this before it becomes infected."

Obeying the order, I stayed as still as the pain allowed. "You could at least be gentler about it," I pouted.

I caught her rolling her light brown eyes in the mirror – a bad habit she picked up from me.

"Better," Caitlyn said, somewhat satisfied. "Now for some foundation, we need to hide that ugly bruise that's forming."

Five minutes later Caitlyn stepped back to admire her handiwork. "I cleaned you up pretty well if I do say so myself."

I couldn't argue. The cut looked much smaller and cleaner and the bruise was barely visible under the heavy coat of foundation. My eyes still looked sunken in and tired along with my flat, dull hair. I pulled my stringy hair up in a messy bun – that was going to have to do. I straightened my ever present long-sleeve shirt to make sure all the bruises were hidden.

"Thank you," I told Caitlyn gratefully.

"What are best friends for?" smiled Caitlyn, looping her arm through mine.

We exited the bathroom feeling somewhat better than I had walking into it. I glanced to the right and was practically trampled by an incoming person.

"Get out of my way frosh," the angry voice of a boy said.

Caitlyn picked me up glaring at the boy's retreating back.

"That's going to leave another bruise," I groaned, holding my arm. "Who was that?"

"Shane Gray," grumbled Caitlyn. "Thinks he owns the entire school. Not even that cute."

"Cait, give it a rest. He's just a stuck up senior. Don't waste your breath."

Caitlyn visibly calmed herself. "I'm okay. Thanks Mitch, I wish I could be more level headed and forgiving like you. Are we still on for guitar lessons after school?"

A wave of sadness crashed over me, my brown eyes giving away my feelings – like they always did, damn eyes. Mom always said she could read my eyes like a book. Why couldn't I be a harder book to understand? "Carley is not in the best of condition at the moment," I finally said, embarrassed.

The wheels were turning in Cait's pretty head, realization hit her face. "No way. He hit you with Carley? Mitchie, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand seeing you like this. I'm going to tell someone."

"No Cait," I pleaded, grabbing her arm. "You can't. No one else knows but you. You're the only one I can talk to about this. Just, drop it for now please. You got to believe me."

Caitlyn sighed. "This is the last time I will let it slide though."

I gave her a sad smile saying thank you.

"How about we drop by the record shop after school anyway, I'm sure Jason will be able to tell us if Carley is fixable or not?" suggested Cait.

Feeling happy for the first time that day, I smiled. "Deal."

* * *

"Jason!" I called upon entering JJ Records.

"There are my two favorite girls," Jason Mahogany replied, walking towards them with open arms. "A little early for guitar lessons aren't we?"

"We actually have a slight problem."

I gingerly placed my tattered guitar case on the counter. I watched Jason's face as he extracted Carley from her home. His soft face quickly turned hard. As he examined the extent of the damage his boyish features darkened. He pushed his unruly dark curls off his face with force.

I anxiously awaited the verdict. "So?"

Jason's eyes traveled up and down Carley. "This is a slight problem isn't it? She is definitely fixable though. I can't seem to understand how this happened. You're always so careful with her."

"Yeah, let's just say I didn't do that to her."

"Hey J, is Nate around?" wondered Caitlyn curiously.

"Upstairs in the studio," he answered shortly.

"I'm going to go see him."

I rolled my brown eyes –a habit.

No matter how many times she denied it, Caity so had a thing for Nate Black, one of Jason's best friends.

I shook my head slightly turning back to Jason. "So you can fix her?" I asked absentmindedly, letting a finger trail along the neck lovingly. I loved how the strings felt under my fingers.

"I can't, but I have a friend who is a master at this stuff."

Relief flooded me. "Thank you so much Jason. How much do you think it's going to cost?"

"I'm not letting you pay one cent for this repair."

"I don't feel right not giving you anything," I said guiltily.

"How about I have Shane fix her up for free, and you actually write a song?"

"Deal," I laughed. "Wait, Shane who?"

"Shane Gray, he's my other band mate, extremely talented guitarist and singer. He really has a knack for fixing up these babies."

"Oh, I never knew he was in the band."

"Yeah, I know he can come off a little strong or intimidating or whatever it is," Jason said easily, placing Carley back in her home. "But he is a really good person once you get to know him. He just has a hard exterior, just like another person I know."

I blushed as he took a stab at my own issues.

"I'm just playing with you, Mitch. He will have her done in say… two days? Sound good to you? For now, you can borrow one of my guitars for lessons."

"Jason, I can't thank you enough," I gushed zipping up the case. "You're such a life saver."

"I won't regret my decision as long as you write a damn song," he said with a teasing smile.

* * *

**props to all of you who made it through my short little chapter to this part! you earn three gold stars for making it this now. wanna earn like a hundred more?? click on that little thingy underneath this and you will earn a spot on my wall of insanely amazing people! sounds cool doesnt it? =] i wanna say thanks for taking time out of your busy days to read my story. promise these chapters will become much longer. this was just the first chapter so you can get to meet most of the characters and all that jazz. now im gonna stop yammering on so you can get on with your lives. dont forget - - - clicky thingy. =] bye now!!**

**i dont own any of the camp rock characters. all the other people you dont recognize are mine. =] thats all!**


	2. Believe

**since you all were soo amazing with reviews and alerts and favoritizing im updating today!! seeing all those things made my day! im just so glad people like this story! i really really like writing this story. probably one of my favorites. =] thanks a bazillion to all you people reading it today. you are just saints! i love you all!! i hope i dont disappoint with this one. =] enjoy.**

**i dont own hanson... i wish i did. i dont own camp rock... i wish i owned the boys. i own carley. =] WOO!!**

**

* * *

Chapter Two:**** Believe**

_**I want to believe there's something to believe**_

_**I would live only just to believe**_

_**Oh**_

_**I'd love to believe it's not only me that's longing only just to believe**_

'_**Cause I want to believe**_

_**I want to believe**_

**Believe: Hanson**

Being without Carley was absolutely killing me. Jason was kind enough to lend me one of his own, but it just didn't feel right playing another guitar. It's like learning a new language that is impossible to comprehend. Carley was my language, she knew me inside and out. I know it sounds stupid talking about a guitar like this; it's just how I feel about her.

I stumbled over another simple chord. I wanted to scream but kept it to a soft groan.

"Take your time," Jason kept saying. "You're rushing your chords."

Frustration seeped through my music. I sounded like a little kid picking up a guitar for the first time in their life, and I was supposed to be one of the better students in his advanced class – can you say embarrassing much?

"Mitchie relax," Caitlyn whispered her eyes focused on Nate.

"I'm relaxing," I grumbled, purposely going extra slow.

I envied Caitlyn at this moment, for Caitlyn was so caught up in her Nate infatuation that she didn't even notice she was tripping over her strings. To be so infatuated to not even care – must be a nice feeling.

Nate was adorable; I gave Caitlyn props for that. He had these loose brown curls that flopped all over his head, you just wanted to stick your finger through them to see if they were that bouncy. His eyes were a mix of brown and green swirled together forming the most eccentric eye color I had ever seen. Although he was very cute he was definitely not my type. I don't even know if I had a type. No boys expressed interest in me – ever.

Oh well, that fact never bothered me much. I was more focused on my music – and staying alive – most of the time.

"Class is dismissed for the night," Jason announced replacing his guitar on the stand. "Two days Mitch and you'll have her back."

I nodded frustration still evident in my face. "Thanks again, J."

"No problem. See you later," he said and left the classroom.

"You coming Caity?" I asked gathering my sheets together.

"Two minutes," mouthed Caitlyn glancing at Nate.

I sighed. "Two minutes," I complied – I'm such a good friend.

I left Caitlyn to her boy fantasies and ventured back downstairs to wander through the old records section – my favorite.

Old records were quite possible my favorite things ever – well that, Mac and cheese, and my stuff bear Wallace, but old records definitely topped those. I don't know what it was about them that stuck out to me, but everything about them drew me to them. Maybe it was the smell, or the interesting graphics on them, or even the fact that you had to flip them over to listen to more songs. Everything about them was cool and fascinating. When I was younger Mom always told me I was born in the wrong era; I would be listening to the classics while all my other friends were dancing around to the new Britney Spears song.

Feet pounded down the stairs drawing my attention. I looked up from my spot to see what all the noise was about instead my eyes fell on Jason. He laid my guitar case atop the counter, gently extracted her from the casing to show another person. It was then I noticed the other person standing next to him. I quickly returned to my records.

Jason must have been explaining the situation to him because I heard him mention my name along with my guitar. A blush crept up my neck. I chanced a glance and instantly locked eyes with the infamous Shane Gray.

* * *

"What's this?" wondered Caitlyn.

"A bulletin board," I said sarcastically I was in one of those moods.

She glared at me for a moment but quickly got over it. She understood me very well when I was in sarcastic moods – everything and anything was game.

We stood in front of a bulletin board at school. Different colored papers littered the cork board that hardly any cork was seeable. One flyer boasted the triumph of the football team last week in their state championship win. Another was for after school tutoring. Caitlyn ripped down a neon green one.

"Auditions for the musical/play Spectacular!," I said reading the paper over her shoulder.

"You should so audition!" exclaimed Caity.

"Why?" I asked incredulously. "I've never acted in my life, let alone would I sing in front of a whole crowd of people."

"Oh I'm sure you can act. It's not that hard, have you seen some of the people they put in these plays? Half of them can't even memorize their lines," Caitlyn explained. "Plus you can sing unlike the people in these plays that think they can."

I laughed shaking my head. "I don't know Cait. I've never even heard of this play before. Spectacular! is it? What's it even about? It sounds gay."

"Who cares," she exclaimed. "This would be so good for you to do. You would have a reason to stay away from home."

"I already do that at your house and the Records store, but I guess you do have a point. When are auditions?"

"Tomorrow and Friday. You need to pick up a script in the auditorium to practice."

Cautiously I plucked the paper out of my friends hand and folded into my jean pocket. "I get Carley back today!" I said suddenly deciding that it was time to change the subject.

"Yeah, you won't suck at lessons tonight!" teased Caitlyn falling for the subject change.

"Hey!" I exclaimed pushing her playfully. "I wasn't tripping all over my chords just because I was staring at Nate Black the whole time!"

Caitlyn gasped. "I was not!"

"Oh Jason, where's Nate at? I want to grovel at his feet! I'm so in love with him and he has no idea!" I mimicked my friend's voice perfectly.

"I do not sound like that!" complained Caity, shoving me back.

"Come on lover girl, we need to get to class."

* * *

"Jason!" I shouted running into JJ Records with exaggerated excitement. "Jason! Jason! Jason!"

Jason appeared from the storage room, a smile gracing his face. "She's upstairs in Studio B. You know where that is, right?"

I was halfway up the stairs before Jason could even finish his sentence. "Yeah!" I yelled back down to him practically at Studio B already.

I charged through the open door like a girl on a mission. "Carley, I'm so glad you're going to be okay!" I exclaimed but stopped dead in my tracks once I saw who was in the studio.

Not just any someone but Shane Gray.

"Oh sorry, I didn't expect anyone else to be in here," I said eyeing Carley.

Shane held her in his hands a look of carelessness on his face. I quickly adverted my eyes to Carley to marvel in her beautifully fixed state.

"Carley you called her?" he stated, rubbing a cloth over the strings. "Why?"

Although it was just a question I couldn't help but wonder if there was a hidden meaning behind it. Shane Gray didn't ask questions without having an ulterior motive behind them – usually it was to make fun of the other person. I had the sudden urge to wipe that comfortable smirk right off his arrogant face.

"No reason. I name everything that's important to me."

"It's just a guitar," he smirked.

"Carley is not just a guitar," I said flabbergasted.

"Yeah she is, just like all those other guitars out there in the world," he explained like I was in first grade.

My blood was rising steadily which didn't happen often. I could handle most situations up to a point but being talked down to like a first grader was not one of them. "No she isn't actually. Thanks for fixing her up though."

Shane shrugged. "What did you do to her anyway?"

I felt Shane's eyes travel to the healing cut above my left eye. "That's none of your business."

"I'm just curious. It had an interesting break in the back."

The memories of excruciating pain from the guitar hitting my head rushed back to me. My face heated. "I was just a little careless you could say."

Shane shrugged again – he didn't care about anything. "Okay, whatever."

Having enough of his cocky attitude I snatched Carley from his grasp and turned to him once more. "You know, I think more people would like you if you weren't such a jackass. Thanks."

I stormed out of the studio leaving a bewildered Shane Gray behind.

"Serves him right," I muttered angrily to myself hurrying back down the steps to Caitlyn.

I was nearly trampled by a bombshell blond hightailing it up the stairs at an impossible speed in heels. Once I was back down stairs I asked Jason, "Who was that?"

"The blond? Her name is Tess," he said sourly. "She is dating Shane. Did you see him up there by chance?"

I shook my head feeling bad for lying to Jason. "Must have just missed him. Where's Cait?"

"Where do you think?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

Rolling my brown eyes, I proceeded to place my bum on one of the stools behind the counter. "I got a question for you."

Jason set aside the record he was polishing to listen.

I extracted the flyer from my pocket. "What do you think about this?"

His eyes scanned the neon green flyer quickly. "You should definitely do it. I think it would be a good experience for you."

"That's what Caity said."

"We think alike. Plus, you will have enough time with work and everything. I'm very flexible with hours."

"I'm only working weekends," I said not understanding why he said that.

Jason tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Well, I've been thinking. Ever since Shane started dating Tess he shows up to work less and less. I love the guy but he is a slacker. I need some extra hands during the week. Nate and I can't do it all."

"Okay! Whenever you need me you got me," I laughed happily. "This is perfect. I will finally be able to pay you off for my guitar."

"Don't worry about it. I told you, guitar equals song. As long as you write a song we are even. Don't forget that."

I smiled still feeling guilty. "I'll start tonight."

"Good. Lessons are starting in ten," he said glancing to the door. Students were starting to pour through them.

"I'll go find Caity."

"Good luck with that," smirked Jason.

* * *

Two and a half hours later I was significantly happier. Carley was back in perfect working condition. Lessons went better than ever. Even Caitlyn seemed happier than usual. I had a hunch of why that was – a certain curly headed boy would you please.

"Did you have fun talking to Nate earlier?" I asked as we strolled along the sidewalk, heading to our homes. We were both sixteen but cars were not likely to be in our futures anytime soon. We walked everywhere; we lived in a very small town so it was easy to get around to all the places. "Maybe I shouldn't call it talking – staring perhaps?"

Caitlyn knocked me in the shin with her guitar case. "We talked thank you very much, and you wanna know what? He asked me out!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

We screamed together, jumping up and down excitedly.

"I can't believe it! When are you going out?"

"Friday night. We're going to see a movie I think!"

"Romantic," I sighed letting envy lace through my words.

"I feel bad though. We were supposed to hang out that night," said Caitlyn guiltily.

I shook her off. "Don't worry about it. We can hang out after your date. I'll just ask Jason to work me that night. You have fun with Nate."

"You're too good of a friend for me," admitted Caity.

"It's what best friends do," I smiled slowing my pace.

My miserable looking house stood in front of me, all lights out. A brisk wind picked up my hair sending shivers down my spine. It was getting colder out, a storm would be brushing through shortly.

"Call me every hour on the dot," ordered Caitlyn.

"Yes mother," I replied rolling my eyes.

Caitlyn grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me to look her in the eyes. "Promise me you will be careful. If he comes after you again, you come straight to my house."

I nodded although both of us knew I would never show up. "I'll be careful."

"Bye Mitch," my best friend said squeezing me tightly.

"Bye Caity, see you tomorrow!"

**

* * *

another chappie done!! your amazing if you made it to this. now make me even happier. you know what to do. ill give you cookies this time. :)**


	3. Nobody's Home

**hands down you all are the best ever! all my reviewers and alerters and everything! you guys seriously rock i cant even thank you enough. EVERYONE GETS COOKIES!!! im updating so soon again cause you all are just amazing! i probably wont be able to update everyday but i will try at least a couple times a week. im warning you the week after next is my spring break and i probably wont be able to update for a couple days. so ill try to update as much as i can this week to prepare you for the long week!! im glad so many people are interested in this story. its not going to be the typical everyone sings and everythings perfect. i will have them sing just cause i like it. =] but it will be much more original than that. if anyone has any suggestions of what they want to happen or anything give me them!! **

**question****: how do you feel about them being in the musical?? i think it will be coool. but tell me what you think!**

**well i must hurry along now. im supposed to be going bike riding soon! its so nice here finally! i cant wait until summer. =] well you guys keep being amazing people.**

**warning****: this chapter is intense or so i think so. im just warning you ahead of time.**

**i dont own any of camp rock characters or what not. or this song avril lavigne sings so sadly.**

**

* * *

Chapter Three: Nobody's Home**

_**She wants to go home but nobody's home**_

_**That's where she lies broken inside**_

_**Was no place to go, no place to go**_

_**To dry her eyes broken inside**_

**Nobody's Home: Avril Lavigne**

"Mom, I'm home!" I announced dropping my guitar and bag next to the table.

All the lights were off in the house, I found that odd. It was still rather early to turn all the lights off. I knew Dad wasn't home; his truck wasn't parked in the driveway. This meant I didn't have to speak in whispers for fear of being scolded. When he wasn't home I wasn't afraid.

"Mom!?" I shouted again, listening for some sound in the still house.

The question lingered in the empty house. Mom should be home now. Worry worked its way through my mind. Where was my mom?

"Mom!?"

I checked the family room, laundry room, and even my father's den – no Mom. I took the steps three at a time my heart pounding.

"Mom!?" I called again, opening the door to my parent's bedroom.

The state of the room startled me as I blundered through the door almost falling over an overturned table. All the sheets were stripped from the bed and thrown around the room. The lamp from the table which I almost fell over lay in pieces by the door to the bathroom. The dresser drawers hung awkwardly from their places looking ready to crash to the ground. Clothes, jewelry, DVD boxes, everything in the room littered the floor.

Tentatively, I moved across the room checking for my mother as I went – nothing. Stepping over broken shards of glass I took a deep breath and twisted the knob on the bathroom door. "Mom?" I suddenly whispered feeling the need to be quiet.

A low groan vibrated off the ugly yellow tiled walls her father had insisted on putting in the bathroom two summers prior. I pushed the door aside frantically revealing my mother sprawled out awkwardly on the bathroom floor.

"Mom!" I cried falling next to her body. "What happened?"

My hand fell into something warm and gooey – blood. I picked up my hand now dripping in my mother's thick, red blood. Blood oozed from underneath her head which could have resulted from the bloody nose that was still trickling blood to the floor. It was too much though; there must be another wound somewhere. I gingerly touched my mother's face and finally saw the huge gash on the side of her neck that was still leaking blood profusely. I sat back to examine the rest of her. Another pool of blood gathered beneath her right leg – oh my god.

"Mitchie Moo, you're alright," she gasped every word sounding painful.

"What happened?" I asked again, tears beginning to well.

"You need to get out of here, honey," she said sounding frightened. "You can't be here when he gets back."

"I'm not leaving you," I said firmly taking a hold of her hand.

"Mitchie, sweetie, listen to me. You need to leave now," she said more forcefully. "Go to Caitlyn's, go to the Record store, go anywhere. You can't stay here."

"I promised you I would never leave you Mom. I'm not going to break my promise now. Not now," I whispered tears dropping onto the tiled floor mixing in with the blood.

Mom shuddered in pain. "No, you can't. I can't watch you get hurt."

I ignored her rants – something I did often, sue me I'm a teenager. "What happened? What hurts most? Can you stand?"

She groaned as she attempted to sit up. "It's my leg. I can't stand or I'll fall over."

The slam of the front door silenced both of us. Mom stopped fighting to move and I stopped breathing. An excited roar rang deafeningly through the house.

"He's here," Mom panicked. "You need to hide, quickly! Go hide in the closet or the guest room. Don't go near your room."

"No, I'm not leaving you," I protested.

"No," she pleaded. "Go now. I don't want you to get hurt. I can't watch. I can't. Not anymore. Just please go hide. I'll be fine." Mom tried to smile.

Unwillingly, I kissed her forehead and bolted for the door. I cautiously walked toward the door that led to the hallway. I paused; he was downstairs lumbering around opening cabinets and closing doors. What was he doing?

Quickly and as quietly as my body could allow, I crossed the hall and scampered to the guest room. The door squeaked just enough to disrupt the silence. I paused again to listen, and then continued into the room. I shut the door with a soft click.

I searched the room looking for something to barricade the door. I pushed the dresser in front of the door hoping that would hold him off or at least slow him down some. After I barricaded myself in the room I raced to the closet and shut myself inside. Seconds later he came thundering up the stairs and sprinted to the bedroom. I backed even further into the closet hiding myself amongst the clothes.

"Where is she?" his voice boomed from the other room.

I strained my ears trying to listen for Mom's voice.

"I know you know where she is. I can smell the bitches scent all over the damn house!"

Whatever Mom said received a murderous sounding slap. My fists clenched into tight balls as I shook with unrepressed anger.

"What am I a dog?" I muttered to myself, anger sticking to my words.

"Wrong answer!" he yelled. "Now you tell me where she is or I will kill you."

I gasped, fell backwards and slipped on a box sending a crashing sound throughout the house. I cursed my clumsiness over and over again. Couldn't I have been given impeccable grace? Why the stumbling and clumsiness! The house became eerily silent. I held my breath not knowing what was happening in the other room.

The door to the guest room burst opened. The boxes above my head teetered precariously on the edge of the shelf. I shut my eyes tightly wishing this was all a bad dream and soon I would wake up in my warm bed. I held my breath and sunk even further into the closet – if that was even possible.

"I know you're in here," his voice rang sickeningly. "Thought you could hide from me. If you come out here now I won't hurt you. Daddy just wants some loving."

I covered my mouth to keep the bile from making an appearance on the closet door. That would give away my hiding place.

"Come on out you little whore. I have to talk to you about something. It seems that you disobeyed me. I clearly remember telling you no more guitar, no more songs. I stumbled upon something very interesting the other day."

The rustle of papers caught my attention; my songs.

"Very interesting. I didn't know you hated your life so much. I gave you everything any girl your age could ever want or dream of. I'm a very loving father."

Silent tears rolled down my face.

"I'm a very loving father," he screeched again kicking whatever was in his way. "Come on out, I'll show you how very loving I am."

"Leave her alone," my mother's voice said feebly.

She could be so stupid. What was she thinking coming in here and trying to protect me? She was in no state to fight back. I could yell at her for being so stupid.

"What are you doing?" he roared. "Come back for more didn't you? Just can't stay away?"

I moved closer to the door and peered through the wooden slats. Mom stood awkwardly in the doorway clutching her side. He advanced on her slowly.

I couldn't bare it any longer.

"Stop it!" I shouted emerging from my hiding place. "Just stop it!"

He whirled around closing the space between us quickly.

"What are you going to do about it whore?" he spat grabbing my shoulder roughly.

It was these moments I always chose to freeze up and not fight, not today though. I was sick of always beaten down for no reason. Sick and tired of being degraded by his words. Sick of being his play thing whenever he wanted me to be. I was going to try and fight back today.

I reared back and kicked him hard in the knee. He stumbled, not expecting to be hit. Mom sighed in the corner disapprovingly. I ignored her, she never attempted to fight back at least I was.

"Oh, you want to play rough do you?" he yelled regaining his strength; he easily plucked me off the floor and threw me onto the bed.

He crawled on after her in what would be a sexual way if it wasn't so scary and creepy. "We can play rough tonight, sounds even better than usual!"

I felt my insides heave upwards as he pawed at my jeans. I was powerless under his weight and determination. I squirmed uncontrollably trying to release his air-tight grasp. That only earned me a hard smack across the face.

"Don't resist," he said softly stroking my cheek. "You know you like it."

Mom hovered in the doorway afraid to make one wrong move. Mustering up all the strength I had I used both legs to successfully kick him off me. I rolled off the bed, zipped my jeans back up, and bolted to Mom.

"Mom, run!" I screamed pulling her down the hallway with me.

It took him a second to recover. I heard him charge out of the room and race after us.

"Come back here you bitches!"

"In here," I said falling into a bathroom.

"No! He will find us."

Too late, that moment of hesitation cost us valuable time – he caught up. He thundered down on us taking out all his rage and lust on any part of our bodies he could touch.

* * *

I was two hours late to school the next day.

Caitlyn left me a million and one messages in those two hours. She even threatened to leave school and come kidnap me in one of her more frantic voicemails.

The only reason I went to school was to satisfy Caitlyn. She needed to see me just to make sure I was alright. That's why I was on my way to school with a throbbing headache and sore body.

I met up with her at lunch. She practically jumped out of her seat when she saw me walk in the commons. Her arms wrapped around my battered body. I tried not to show the pain she was currently causing me – that would only make her worry more.

"How are you?" she asked but I knew what she was really asking.

I sat down at our usual table. Nate smiled at me from across the ugly gray table top – he was a new addition to the normally bland scenery. Caitlyn rolled her eyes dismissively knowing exactly what was running through my mind.

"You feeling better Mitchie?" asked Nate taking a bite of his apple.

Panic sirens whirled in my head. Caitlyn wouldn't have told him, would she? No, she wouldn't do that to me. She couldn't.

He saw the confusion on my face. "Cait told me you didn't feel the best this morning."

I nodded panic subsiding quickly. Caitlyn would never tell I needed to have more faith in her. "I still have a headache but feeling much better than earlier."

"Good, I was hoping you weren't going to miss auditions."

I slapped a hand to my forehead immediately regretting my action. "I completely forgot about that. I forgot my lines at home."

"You can just borrow mine," smiled Nate rummaging through a bag. He extracted the light blue booklet. "Do you need to study?"

"I actually tried to memorize my lines but I'll look through one more time to make sure I know them," I said taking the booklet.

Caitlyn squealed excitedly. "This is going to be great! You're so going to blow them away."

"I didn't know you were going to audition," I told Nate glancing through the lines.

"I haven't completely decided yet. I probably will though."

"You better," I pleaded. "It would be nice to know one person in the musical."

He smiled, his brown eyes brightening. "Okay, I'll do it too."

"See you're already planning on making it!" exclaimed Caitlyn. "This will be perfect. I can handle the music and lights and everything, and you two can be the stars!"

I rolled my dull brown eyes. "You're too excited about this. We have to audition first."

"I know, I know. I can still be excited. It's not like you two won't make it in."

The bell rang signaling the end of lunch. My tired body rose from the table and lumbered to my next class. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

Every class seemed longer than the last. I dreaded walking into the next classroom knowing it was going to be hell in every one. For some reason all my teachers decided today was going to be test day. Seeing as I was currently in extreme pain and my headache was still pounding I was in no mood to sit in an uncomfortable desk for fifty five minutes and take tests I knew nothing about.

The test I was currently taking was in history. I couldn't even begin to tell you what was on the test. I hadn't looked at it since I wrote my name on the blank paper. My mind was wandering too much for me to concentrate on any one thing – and history was definitely on the bottom of my wandering mind.

I kept thinking back to last night: the pain, the anger, the tears, the blood so much blood. This morning I woke up praying that Mom would still be conscious. She received the worst blows even after I found her bleeding on the floor. My own wounds and bruises weren't as bad as I expected. I only received one really bad cut across my abdomen. Thinking about it I pressed my hand gently against it and winced – oh yeah, it still hurt.

I sighed and picked up my pencil. I at least needed to write down some random letters just to make it look like I did something productive. It took me less than ten minutes to BS my way through the test – which was about the civil war, go figure!

After I placed my paper in the turn-in basket I asked the teacher if I could use the bathroom. I needed to change the gauze on my stomach, the joy.

She handed me the hall pass and I was off. I walked out the door looking to the left – it was a habit of mine, whenever I would exit a room I would always look the opposite direction I was going to walk to see if anyone was coming. Well, I looked a second too long and rammed head on into another person. I fell to the floor from the blow holding my stomach tightly – please don't bleed.

"Sorry, didn't see you there," the familiar voice grumbled.

A hand moved in front of my face, I tilted my head and met the most intriguing brown and blue eyes ever. Where had I seen them before? The only person I knew of that had them would be Nate, but this person was definitely not Nate. I sat back to get a good look – Shane? Shane's eyes were even prettier than Nate's; instead of a bright green like Nate's Shane's were a crystal blue – beautiful really. But they weren't even related, were they?

"I'm trying to help you up here," he said impatiently shaking his hand.

I reluctantly took hold of it. "You could be a bit more patient; you just knocked me to the ground."

He was ready to retaliate but his sparkling brown/blue eyes landed on my stomach. My mind registered panic as his gaze suddenly changed to worry. "You're bleeding."

_Shit_. _Shit, shit, shit_. Bleeding was so not a good thing right now – not that it ever was but in this instant it was just really bad, oh you know what I mean. "Ye-yeah, I just cut myself in class. I was on my way to the bathroom right now," I said easily, since when was I that good of a liar.

Shane stared at me for a long time looking for a lie among my eyes. I prayed my eyes wouldn't give me away for once in my life. "You want me to take you to the nurse? It looks like a pretty nasty cut."

"No, no, no!" I said quickly. "I'll be fine; I just need to go clean it up."

"Are you sure?" he asked clearly worried.

"Shane Gray is actually worried about me," I said aloud before I could stop my mouth.

He stepped back. "Is it that surprising?"

"I just never expected you to worry about someone you don't even know," I said moving around him.

"You clearly don't know me as well as you think," he said defensively. "Maybe if you didn't believe all the rumors and speculations about me you wouldn't think that. But that's whatever. I'm not worried about some little frosh thinking I'm mean."

He stalked down the hall before a thought could even process in my mind. So, Shane Gray could have a sensitive and caring side, and he just became extremely defensive because of it. Maybe he started to reconsider how he was acting after I yelled at him. Oh well, hopefully it would work.

Shane Gray completely left my mind when I walked into the bathroom. I checked to make sure no one else was lingering and lifted my shirt to see the damage. I groaned inwardly seeing the blood drip from the cut and plink to the floor. I scrubbed some water around the cut to clean up all the excess blood. Any other person would have gone straight to the ER with this deep of a cut but I never dared to get within five hundred yards of a hospital. Caitlyn thinks I'm crazy for never allowing her to take me, but what would I tell the doctors? Oh yeah, my father is actually a psycho drunk and beats me and my mom almost every day – yeah sounds perfect right.

Child services would get involved, and if I ever was to be taken away from my dad I doubt Mom would be able to support me on her own which means I would be separated from her too. I never wanted to be without Mom, so we stayed.

It's almost better to stay because we know he will never get too crazy and kill us. Even in his drunken rages he could never kill anyone.

I finished patching up my wound. I noticed there was a purple bruise starting to form around it. I can't exactly remember how I received this cut; personally I don't think I wanted to know exactly. I pulled my shirt back down and saw all the blood on my shirt. That wasn't going to do. I tried scrubbing the fabric to no avail. An idea formed in my mind. I raced down the hall to my locker and stuck my arms into the jacket I wore this morning – it was going to have to do.

The blood was hidden, my wound was somewhat cleaner, and now all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and fall back asleep forever. Too bad that didn't sound like it would happen anytime soon. I walked back to my class and waited out the rest of the day until auditions were supposed to be held.

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you know how happy i get when you read this part down here. thanks for reading loves!! your just so amazing! next chapter up soon hopefully. :)**


	4. A Star Is Born

**wooo! so this is a much more lighter chapter than last one. =] and again, you reviewers are seriously some of the best ever!! im only updating again so quickly because you are demanding me for more chapters!! i got another couple chapters already to go. so if your extremely nice then maybe i will update tomorrow or something. well, your awesome. enough said.**

**i dont own camp rock. or the songs in this chapter. i own everything else you dont know. :)**

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Chapter Four: A Star Is Born**

_**Gonna shout it from the mountaintops**_

_**A star is born**_

_**It's a time for pulling out the stops**_

_**A star is born**_

_**Honey, hit us with a halleluiah**_

_**The kid came shining through**_

_**Girl, sing the song**_

_**Come blow your horn**_

_**A star is born**_

**A Star Is Born: Disney**

"You're going to do great!" Caitlyn shouted pushing me into the auditorium.

"Yeah, thanks for that," I muttered, the doors closing in my face.

Caitlyn had to go home and help her mom around the house so she wasn't even going to stay to watch her best friend audition – I was bitter about this. I planned on having her there to support me in case I screwed up completely and made a fool of myself – no such rock here anymore. Taking a deep breath, I turned and made my way toward the stage. The auditorium was filled with many students – many more than I ever imagined would be here. Nerves shot through my system. What was I getting myself into? I wasn't going to be able to sing in front of all of them.

"Mitch," called Nate waving me over to him.

Caitlyn's curly-headed lover sat in the tenth row with his annoying friend and equally annoying girlfriend. I sighed mentally preparing myself; you never know what could happen when they were together.

"Hey Nate," I said dropping into my seat, but not before Shane's oddly colored eyes latched onto mine giving me a cold glare – that's nice.

"You excited?" he asked moving his head to block Shane and Tess out of the picture.

"I don't know yet. I'm more nervous than anything right now. Who are you trying out for?"

Nate shrugged. "I haven't decided yet, maybe one of the leads or something. You?"

"I'm just going to try out. Am I allowed to do that?" I asked pathetically.

He laughed. "I'm pretty sure you can do that."

The lights flickered above and the whole room fell silent. Nate sat back in his seat, his attention on the stage. I looked around at everyone else. They all silently waited so I did too.

A thin, wiry looking lady in bright green robes clapped her hands together. "Good afternoon thespians!" she boomed in a low dramatic voice.

I gasped. "I was totally not expecting that."

"Ms. Mason is awesome," Nate whispered back.

"I'm Ms. Mason, or just M, for those of you who don't know me. I've got a couple things to say before we start acting! First off, we have fun in the theater. Second, we work hard and have fun. And third, we have fun!"

Her rant collected a loud round of cheers and shouts. M raised her hands to quiet, all immediately fell quiet. "I'm going to call out your name, and you will come up here and read some lines that I instruct you to do. Once you auditioned you may pick up a song book for tomorrow, and then you may leave. Tomorrow we test you singing abilities. Let's begin!" M clapped again and everyone else joined in. "Clipboard Keegan." M settled into her seat next to a small girl with bright blond hair, Keegan. "Tess Tyler!"

The blond besides Shane gracefully rose from her seat, planted a very sensual kiss on her boyfriend's lips, and sauntered to center stage. I wanted to gag.

"This should be interesting," Nate muttered to me.

I sensed his sarcasm and had to cover my mouth from letting my laughs escape.

"Alright Tess, please read Courtney's lines on page three," instructed M pushing her matching bright green glasses up the sloped bridge of her nose.

Tess cleared her throat and began, "'Whoa that was harsh.'"

The Nikko stand-in said his lines.

"Well this is just perfect then," she recited dully. "The night I come looking for a lead singer you become completely available!"

"Wow, could she have any more enthusiasm?" Nate said earning a slap from Shane.

"If she had any more I think her new hair extensions might fall out of her hair," I joked, my body shaking with laughter as we laughed together. I now understood why Cait was head-over-heels for the boy; he was funny.

"Thank you Tess," M said interrupting her monologue midsentence. "Grab a song book from Keegan on your way out. We will see you tomorrow."

This was how every audition went. Some people went longer than others but M ended the same with each one. She rarely showed emotion so you never knew if she really liked you or not; it was a bit intimidating I might say.

There were some dreadfully awful students who could barely read their lines let alone act them out. Nate and I shook with laughter for the greater part of the auditions.

There was one thing though I had to admit, very reluctantly though, Shane Gray could act. Not only could he act – he acted better than anyone else. His presence on stage mesmerized me even though I didn't want to be looking at him I couldn't help it. I knew I was gaping at him because Nate kept laughing at me hysterically.

Nate was really good also but not as good as Shane. He didn't command the stage and didn't draw the attention like Shane did.

My name was one of the last ones to be called. "Mitchie Torres?" M said questionably, her wide eyes searched the room.

I rose hesitantly not wanting to be put on the spot. Slowly I made my way to the stage and took my place at the center. The spotlight blinded me. I could barely see M sitting at the table in front of the stage. I bounced on my feet awkwardly trying to adjust my eyes to the brightness.

"A new face, your first production?" asked M, gazing up at me through her bright green frames.

I nodded nervously twisting a piece of my brown hair. My eyes roamed the audience quickly finding Nate with a huge grin on his face and two thumbs up. I laughed relaxing – I could do this.

"Very well, Courtney's lines page 67."

I didn't bother to open Nate's script. I'd already memorized most of Courtney's lines. I actually knew the exact scene M was asking me to perform; it was one of my favorites. I waited patiently for the stand-in Nikko to say his line.

"What do I think? What do I think Nikko?" I said loudly channeling Courtney's anger and betrayal. "Which part sounds better, the part where my friends stabbed me in the back or when you turned it? You went behind my back, all of you did, and made a whole new dance without me."

"We were having fun. We thought you would like it. This wasn't meant to be behind your back, it was a surprise. You need to loosen up."

"Show choir is not about being loose; it's about being exact and precise. There is no time for going crazy and being loose. Not in show choir." I pretended to turn and storm off.

"Court stop, we just thought we had a better chance if we did something a little different. We wanted to show you. Everyone worked so hard on this. They all did such a good job."

I narrowed my eyes at the stand-in and whispered sadly, "You ruined my dream Nikko; you took away the only thing I was good at. You took away my dream and stole it for yourself. How does it feel to crush someone's dream?"

"It's still your show Court."

"It's your show now," I said menacingly and turned to face the crowd. "I bet your new, perfect teacher didn't think to tell you the only reason he was doing this was because I promised him half the prize money."

"Court…"

"No, Nikko. You've ruined everything, and I know it was a mistake to make you that offer in the first place but I did it, and I do regret it. Good luck though at Nationals. Thank you so much for taking control and making everything better," I said sarcastically finishing off my lines with a flourish.

My heart continued to beat rapidly. The anger brought unwanted tears to my eyes. Why was I crying in the first place? I blinked back tears and held my breath. The auditorium was completely silent for ages, and I didn't know whether that was a good or bad sign.

"Thank you very much Mitchie," M finally said making a note on her clipboard. "Grab a song book, and we'll see you tomorrow."

Keegan handed me a thin green book with a kind smile. I smiled back muttering a thank you and continued to Nate. He met me in the aisle.

"You were brilliant!" he exclaimed hugging me. "I never knew you could act."

"Me neither," I said glancing to the back of the auditorium. "I surprised myself."

Nate said something in reply but I wasn't paying attention. My eyes were glued to the dark haired boy slinking out of the auditorium. He gave me a short nod and disappeared.

I wonder what that was about.

* * *

"Are you excited? Nervous? What about thrilled? Excited? Anxious?" Caitlyn gushed the next afternoon.

The three of us, Caitlyn, Nate, and I that is, were heading to the auditorium for the final auditions. "You already said excited," Nate pointed out, embarrassing my friend. "Don't be embarrassed, it was adorable."

Don't get me wrong, I love all the cutesiness but I have to draw the line somewhere. Their lovey dovey attitudes were really starting to get on my nerves – just date already I wanted to scream at them. "Okay, Mitchie can only stand so much love for one day. Let's get this over with."

We entered the auditorium Caitlyn telling me I was only bitter because I didn't have a boy to be all cutesy with. I wanted to tell her I didn't need a boy to be happy, but that chance slipped away when I noticed how occupied the auditorium was. Why was everyone here?!

"Wow, lots more people than yesterday," Nate stated the obvious choosing a row towards the back.

I bit back the sarcastic remark I so wanted to throw at him.

"It's the singing auditions, people tend to get more into them," informed Caitlyn.

"Is that why you decided to come today?" I asked raising my eyebrows at her.

She glared at me. "You know I couldn't make it yesterday. Don't get all pissy with me for something I couldn't help."

I smiled at her. "I'm just kidding Caity. Hey Nate did Jason tell you when he wanted me to come in tonight?"

"Around 6:30 depending on when this was over."

M brought the attention to the front with her infamous clapping that I was becoming accustomed too. "Good afternoon! Welcome to the final day of auditions for Spectacular! You have the choice to sing one of your songs or one of the songs from the musical. Your song must be pretty damn good though. After the auditions end I will post the cast on the front of the auditorium doors. So I advise you to stick around and wait to find out. Now let's get it on!"

Another round of clapping followed M to her seat. She called off a few names and the auditions officially began. Some people sang in groups while some sang alone. I, again, sat through too many auditions for my own good – too many off-key voices and pitchy songs for my liking.

Yet again Shane amazed me. He and Nate chose to sing one of their originals – insanely beautiful and touching. Their voices played off each other in a manner that only happened from singing together for a long time. The song chilled me to the bone.

Caitlyn held my hand throughout the song and kept whispering how amazing Nate was. I rolled my eyes at my love struck friend.

It felt like centuries later that M finally called out my name, her deep voice echoing through the crowded room. Caitlyn squeezed my hand reassuring me that it was good I was one of the last to go. In her mind this meant M had more of chance remembering me. "Be a star!" she whispering giving me one last squeeze.

I took my spot at center stage again. "Hello there again Mitchie, you having a good day?"

"Yes ma'am."

"I am too," she said shuffling some papers. "Will you be singing an original for us today?"

"Yes I will," I said meekly. "It's called _Who Will I Be_?"

I think M was genuinely surprised I decided to sing my own piece. She set aside her papers and leaned back casually, focusing all her attention on me. "Stun me," she said simply.

I closed my eyes listening to my song ring in my ears. The song started off quietly and quickly grew inside of me. I can do this. I can sing in front of these people. Just sing like no one is even watching you. It's just you up here. _Sing_.

Keeping my eyes closed I started to sing, "Who will I be? It's up to me. All the never-ending possibilities. That I can see. There's nothing that I can't do. Who I will I be, yes I believe. I get to make the future what I want too. If I can pick up anyone and know the choice is up to me. Who will I be?"

"Hold on a second please," called out M. "Is Shane Gray still here?"

Confusion covered my face. What was Shane wanted for? Did I really sing that bad and she wanted to hear him to forget I even sang? Shane ran down the aisle bending down to M. She whispered something in his ear. His eyes shot up to me and climbed up onto the stage.

"Are you familiar with the song _For the First Time_?" she asked me.

"The one in the musical, yeah," I said confusedly.

"Would you mind singing it with Shane? From the top," she said without waiting for an answer. She waved her hand and music instantly filled the room. Shane handed me a microphone wordlessly.

I wanted to ask a question but I only had time to bring the mic to my mouth. "Sometimes it's hard to see what's been there all along," I started off unsteadily, trying to remember all the words to a song I barely knew.

"Sometimes we're sure of everything, until we found out that were all wrong," Shane sang, his mesmerizing voice echoing through the auditorium.

My brain turned to mush at the sound making me forget to sing the next line. "Now we're standing here," he sang by himself.

"Face to face," I joined in, our eyes locking – oh those eyes. "Nothing feels the same."

"For the first time, I realized something I didn't see before," we sang together our bodies facing each other completely. "For the first time looking your eyes. Suddenly there's so much more. Something we both feel inside for the first time."

I had a moment to catch my breath. Shane's singing and staring into his eyes at the same time were making me dizzy. I continued with confidence, "How did we ever end up here? I don't know, but it feels so right."

Another thing that made Shane so irresistible on stage was his passion. The way his body and eyes moved and acted when he sang gave off the feel of a true performer. "The last thing, I ever expected, is happening it's you and I. There's something real, I can't explain, and nothing feels the same."

The music suddenly stopped and I tore my eyes away from Shane's. M was sitting up in her seat looking stunned. I had almost forgotten there were other people around us.

"Excellent, excellent," she proclaimed. "I would make you finish the song but I have to finish auditions and post the cast. Thank you very much Mitchie, and you too Shane. You two are something."

I nodded awkwardly and hopped off the stage. I found Caitlyn, a huge grin plastered on her pretty face. "Ah Mitch! You were amazing! Like seriously amazing times a billion! AHH! I never knew you could sing that well! I'm so proud of you!"  
I just smiled.

"Seriously, she's right," Nate added. "You and Shane can sing together."

"Plus it pays to see Tess fuming the whole time, hilarious!"

The next twenty minutes were pure torture and agony. I wanted to know if I made it – right this instant. Forget all the other people who had to audition, they weren't important. I realized what I was thinking and stopped. I actually wanted to be in the musical – more than I ever anticipated. Caitlyn was right; I needed this – a distraction per se.

The whole auditorium quieted as M sauntered down the middle aisle with a piece of starch white paper. She opened the doors, disappeared, and reappeared within seconds.

I reached the door before anyone else. I searched the paper for my name and didn't have to go far.

**Cast of Spectacular!**

Courtney Mitchie Torres

Nikko Shane Gray

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likey?? review if you want more chapters sooner!! even tho you know i will update soon just cause i love you guys. thanks a bunches of oats!! and all that jazz. :) make my day better, i need a pick me up.**


	5. Dirty Little Secret

**you are were amazing so im updating today!! i just get so excited when people actually like my stories. it makes me want to write more and more and more! and believe me thats all i ever do at school. forget the classes and work; i write. you guys are my inspiration! so keep inspiring me to write more and more.**

**this chapter has some smitchie bonding. i think you will like it.**

**i dont own camp rock; all-american rejects, although i wish i did; the notebook. i think thats all! enjoy loves and review. :)**

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Chapter Five****:**** Dirty Little Secret**

_**I'll keep you my dirty little secret (dirty little secret)**_

_**Don't tell anyone**_

_**Or you'll be just another regret (just another regret)**_

_**Hope that you can keep it**_

_**My dirty little secret**_

_**Who has to know?**_

**Dirty Little Secret: The All-American Rejects**

I barreled through the door dropping Carley by the counter. "I'm here, I'm here!" I shouted into JJ Records. "Sorry I'm so late Jason. Nate and Caity insisted on taking me out for ice cream."

Jason appeared from the storage room an amused smile on his face. "Don't worry, Nate called and told me. Congratulations by the way!"

He wrapped his arms around me. "Thank you. I wasn't expecting too."

"From what Nate told me you blew the audience away."

"I've learned Nate can exaggerate a bit," I said pulling my name tag out from underneath the counter.

Jason laughed. "All too true. You know where everything is right?"

"Yup, why? You're not making me work by myself are you?"

"I wouldn't make you do that. That's why I'm making Shane work tonight. I told him I would fire him if he didn't work tonight, if you're wondering how I managed to get him here," he added. "I got to have my days off too. Close up around 9:30 if it's slow. You're working tomorrow too, right?"

"All day," I said sitting on the stool.

"Excellent, have fun now you two! See you later!" Jason called walking out the dinging door.

A disgruntled Shane Gray – I needed to stop that, he was the same as any other person. I didn't go around calling Jason, Jason Mahogany. No more Shane Gray from here on out, I told myself, just Shane. A disgruntled Shane – much better – emerged from the back room still wearing his school clothes. He didn't even acknowledge me and kept walking up the stairs to the studios.

"Come with me," he yelled from the stairs.

I looked around to see if someone else had wandered into the store. Then I laughed, he must be talking to himself – weird.

"What are you laughing at?" Shane asked. "I said come on frosh."

"I can't leave the register," I replied lamely.

"Look around, no one is going to come in here. Plus we got a bell. We can hear it up here if anyone comes in."

I hesitated a second too long.

"Come on!" he shouted.

"Freaking impatient," I grumbled angrily.

"I heard that, now come on!"

I rolled my eyes, locked the register, and flew up the stairs – not even believing myself that I was listening to Shane G-, just Shane. He waited outside Studio A leaning against the doorframe looking effortlessly adorable – wait, adorable? I've never been in Studio A before, otherwise known as the recording studio. Curiosity got the better of me so I followed him into the studio immediately regretting it. What if he was a serial killer? I did make him pretty angry earlier, I could see the motive. Or maybe he was a rapist? I could only handle being beaten down once a day.

"Ever been in here frosh?" he asked sitting behind the control panel.

I shook my head. "Okay, we're going to have to go over some ground rules here if you're actually going to talk to me. First, I'm actually not a freshman, I'm a junior. So I would very much like it if you stopped calling me frosh. Second, my name is Mitchie nice to meet you. Third, why are we in here?"

My outburst shocked him at first but then he laughed. I had a feeling people rarely ever talked back to him and he found it humorous that I was trying – or so I thought.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh," he said through spurts of laughter. "Just how you said it was so funny. But I'm sorry for calling you frosh, I thought you were one. You look so young."

"Probably because I don't try to be a twenty year old and wear three pounds of makeup to school," I stated sitting in the other swivel chair. "I act my age."

"You don't wear makeup? I guess you definitely don't need to then if you look good without it," he said gazing at my face.

Did Shane Gray just try to compliment me or what? Damn, I tried to stop myself.

"And I'm not going to call you Mitchie either. I'll think of something better."

"Okay?" I said oddly.

"And I asked you up here cause I wanted to hear you sing."

I must have looked confused because he asked, "What?"

"You already heard me sing today."

"Not really," he replied lazily. "When I sing with someone else I usually don't listen to them."

I busted out laughing. I noticed how he just stared at me like I was crazy and stopped. "You're serious? That is such an arrogant thing to say. I don't believe that. When you and Nate sang together your voices molded together perfectly."

"So you like how I sing?" he asked smugly completely avoiding the subject.

"That is besides that point," I said becoming frustrated. "You're infuriating you know that right? I don't know how anyone can stand you."

He didn't take what I said offensively. "I'm just stating the truth. And maybe I did lie a little bit. Nate and Jason are the only two I listen to when I sing."

"You're a pompous ass," I said flatly. "And I still don't believe you. How could we have sounded so good together?"

"Where do you get all these big words from?" he asked, successfully avoiding my question again.

I bit the bait. "I read, maybe you should try it."

He frowned slightly. "You're not going to sing for me are you?"

"You are correct!" I said standing.

"I underestimated you," sighed Shane.

"What are you talking about?" I asked sinking back into the chair.

Shane rose from his chair and paced the length of the small control room. "You're not as easy going as I thought you were."

"You don't know anything about me," I whispered, Shane's exact words ringing in my ears.

He remembered too, his smile showed it. "Neither of us knows each other, my point exactly. Like I was saying though, you're much more complex. I can tell. You've got a lot of secrets about you."

My thoughts wandered to what was waiting for me at home, I shuddered. I kept quiet not looking at him – remember my eyes in these cases were a big no-no. He would figure me out in a second. Instead I focused my eyes on the blinking red buttons on the control board. Shane swiveled me and I came face to face with him – I had a flashback of the song.

"You wanna tell me about them?"

"About w-what?" I stuttered, the close proximity of his face and eyes doing things to me. From this position I could clearly see every single splash of blue in his brown eyes.

"About your secrets and whatever's eating you up inside."

His eyes reaped sincerity. "Why should I tell you anything? I barely know you."

"Suit yourself," he said returning to his pacing. "I'll get it out of you eventually Mo-Mo."

"Mo-Mo?" I asked laughing.

"Yeah, I like it. It fits you."

I nodded contemplating. "I can deal with that. It's much better than frosh."

Shane smiled the most sincere smile I think he's ever given – and I was the first one to witness it. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that by the way," he said guiltily, leaning towards me again.

My lungs shrunk producing no oxygen. Dizziness overwhelmed me.

"I really did think you were a freshman but now that I look at you… you're so much older, more mature."

His eyes flickered to the healing cut above my left eye. He extended his hand slowly. I closed my eyes knowing what he was going to do. The contact of his rough fingers against my skin made me flinch away from him. I felt other hands on my body, abusing me roughly. I opened my eyes breathing heavily. Shane stared back at me his hands now back at his sides. I was just imagining it.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be too forward. It's just I remember seeing it the day I fixed Carley. How did you get it, it's such an interesting scar?

The rush of blood pounded in my ears. What was the most convincing lie I could come up with in three seconds? "I don't want to talk about it," I blurted out, wishing I wouldn't have said anything in the first place. No information yet too much at the same time.

"It's okay, if you ever want to talk to someone, I'm here," he said touching my face again tentatively. He pushed my chin so we were looking at each other. This time I did not flinch. "Better."

Neither of us moved or said anything. "I think we're having a moment," I finally said.

Shane laughed pulling away. "Yeah, we are."

* * *

"Okay, favorite food of all time?" Shane asked me.

I rearranged a stack of old Styx records and laughed. "Easy, macaroni and cheese hands down."

"Macaroni and cheese?" laughed Shane from the other row over. "That is such a kiddy meal."

"Hey, I like to imagine I'm still a young child at heart," I said lamely laughing along with him.

This was a game Shane created to pass time while we worked. His reasoning's for this game were one; we hardly knew each other, so why not and two; we were leads of the musical and we needed to bond. Shane Gray's exact words – ugh I was doing so well!

"Okay Mr. Gray, favorite band?"

He paused placing his elbows atop the unsteady row. He leaned forward the rack of movies swaying underneath his weight. "I would have to say Led Zeppelin."

"Seriously never would have pegged you for the old age rock type."

"You're not the only one with secrets Mo-Mo," he said swiftly.

I watched him back away and move onto another row. I shook my head after him.

"Favorite movie?" he asked suddenly, spinning around on the spot.

"The Notebook, I can't lie. I'm an undercover romantic. Have you seen it?"

"Can't say I have."

I gasped. "That's terrible, almost inhumane. You must see it," I said hurrying to the row he had just left.

Shane walked up behind me, his close presence causing me to blush – good thing he was behind me. "What are you doing?" his voice held a curious laugh.

I shifted movies aside frantically – it had to be here. "Ah ha!" I exclaimed extracting The Notebook from its hidden place behind Neat Ninjas.

"Oh no," Shane proclaimed throwing his arms up in front of him as if trying to scare away a bug. "I am not watching a chick flick."

I frowned crossing my arms over my chest. "You are going to watch it. I'm ordering you too."

"You're ordering me? I don't see how you can make me watch it."

The end of his sentence was lost to me. I ran to the back room, placed the disk in the DVD player, and pressed play. The opening music to The Notebook rang throughout the entire store. Every TV occupied the opening red/orange sunset.

"No!" shouted Shane making a break for the back room.

I stepped defiantly in front of the door blocking his entrance – all 5'2" of me compared to his 6' self. Yeah I was definitely going to win this fight.

"Please, it's not as bad as you think," I pleaded with him. "You'll love it I swear."

He glared at me for the longest time. "Fine," he finally grumbled. "You tell no one about this."

"Not even Caity?"

"Not ever her."

I contemplated. "Okay," I sighed. "It's not like it would kill your rep that bad if people found out you watched The Notebook. Now come sit and watch."

Shane slumped his shoulders and reluctantly sat on a stool next to me facing the biggest TV. His jaw was set so rigid I thought it might chip off at any second. He looked so ridiculous, so I told him.

"You're funny," he said laughing, his mouth relaxing into a smile.

"Better," I told him. "Pay attention, this is when it gets good."

* * *

"Wait, so she died?" asked Shane, shock etched into his pretty face – wait, pretty? I was seriously starting to think I was losing it. I mean, Shane and I were talking like friends, actually I think we were already becoming friends. He was being nice to me. Maybe I'd go home and find out Dad would never get drunk again – yeah right, my fantasies stopped there, defeated. Not everything could be perfect. "They both died? That can't be the end, that's just cruel. Who would kill them off once they finally knew each other?"

I laughed through my tears. "You loved it."

"I did not say that," he argued. "I just want to know why someone would do that to them."

"You loved it! You loved it! You loved it!" I taunted dancing in my seat. "I told you!"

"Oh shove it," he said playfully pushing me in the side.

An unwanted gasp of pain left my mouth. My hand flew to my side, holding it tightly – bad move.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! Here let me see," he said lifting up my shirt before I could protest.

Horror lit his eyes ablaze making them glow even more than usual. I breathed heavily my mind working fast.

"Now I know I didn't do that," he whispered, cold fingers tracing over the still open gash – at least it wasn't bleeding this time.

I jumped back frightened by his touch. I pulled my shirt back down forcefully. He had already seen too much.

"Wait, is this from the other day?" he asked remembering our hallway spill. "What could you have possibly done at school to cut yourself this bad?"

Tears stung my eyes. I couldn't think straight, not when he knew too much. He was starting to think of ways this could have happened, I could tell by his eyes, he was worried.

"Come here," he said softly. "I won't hurt you."

'_I won't hurt you'_ rang in my ears. How many times had I heard that before? How many times after that had I been beaten and abused? One too many times for any sixteen year old girl to ever have to experience.

"I-I have t-to leave," I stuttered backing away. "Te-tell Jason I l-left early. I'm sorry."

Shane protested and reached for me. He was too slow; I was already gone.

**

* * *

you know how i love to leave you with cliffies!! you know what to do if you want an update. :) i will update again soon anyway! gotta get them out before i go on break! thanks for reading times a million. it means the world.**


	6. Anytime You Need a Friend

**i wanted to update last night so bad but my internet was being super gay! and i got home at like 11:30 from my game. so needless to say i didnt have the time. although i wanted to very badly. cause you guys amaze me. like seriously. seeing all the reviews just makes me feel ten times better! you have no idea how much you make my day. all your funny reviews and insights just make me giggle. hopefully i will update one more time tomorrow! then its spring break time! and i probably wont update for a week. =\ i know its depressing right. but i need to write some more chapters so it gives me time. well mom is yelling at me! we gotta go to dicks. :) thank you times a million. again. you are amazing!**

**this has some good smitchie stuff. and some good caitlyn and mitchie talks. i love best friend talks like them. they just make me happy. okay i must be going now for real!**

**i dont have time for a disclaimer!!!!**

**

* * *

Chapter Six:**** Anytime You Need a Friend**

_**When you're scared**_

_**I will stay with you**_

_**When you feel your falling**_

_**I'll lift you**_

_**When your heart breaks**_

_**I'll ease your aches**_

_**Whatever it takes, I'm in**_

_**Anytime you need a friend**_

**Anytime You Need a Friend: The Beu Sisters**

I ran.

I ran until I couldn't anymore.

I ran to nowhere. I couldn't go home, not right now. Tears streaked from my eyes which were probably the size of golf balls now from crying so much. Mom would worry if I came home looking like this. I didn't want her to worry.

Then I thought of Caitlyn. What was I going to tell her? We were supposed to hang out after her date with Nate.

I ran all the way to the local park on the outskirts of the town. My feet subconsciously took me to the swings – one of my childhood favorites. I sunk into the familiar feel of the seat, defeated.

I was going to have to quit the musical now that he knew too much. It would just be too awkward him knowing too much. Ugh, I was looking forward to the musical too. I didn't want to have to give it up now. I finally had something to look forward too, and then I go and be careless – why!?

"Ugh, why?!" I cried leaning back on the swing and staring up to the sky.

What did I ever do to deserve this? All my strength and willpower leaked out of my body sending me falling out of the swing and to the soft sand. Every emotion, every pain, everything I've been feeling the past years spilled out, drowning my hands in salty tears.

I scooted over to a pole and leaned my back against it. The tears kept falling. Would they ever stop?

"Mitchie." The voice was tentative almost afraid.

I didn't have to look up. "You said you'd never call me Mitchie."

He hesitated. "I don't know I if should laugh or not."

My nose gurgled noisily as I sat up straighter to see him. "Oh, I guess it doesn't really matter. Anything seems funny at the moment."

Shane planted his bottom in the sand next to me being careful not to get too close – he's learned his lesson. I didn't dare look at him. Pity would be written all over his face – and I didn't like pity, not one single bit.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked simply.

"It's a really long story."

"Usually when people say it's a long story it's not. They just say it because they don't want to explain the truth."

I glared at the sand pretending it was him I was glaring at.

"Didn't know I had an intelligent side did you?" he asked bumping my shoulder gently.

An inner battle raged in me. Parts of me wanted nothing more than to spill my whole sob story to him – a big part of me actually. Although, if I did tell him I would have to endure with even more pity than he was already giving, and like I said before I don't do pity.

"If you don't want to talk about it right now I understand. If you ever want to talk to someone, I can be a very good listener," he said sincerely.

I smiled through my watery haze, the sand blurring beneath me. I must look ridiculous: sobbing in the middle of a park at night – who does that? Oh yeah, me I guess. I doubt he's ever had to deal with a girl full out bawling in front of him before. Way to go Mitchie, way to go.

"Hey don't worry about it," Shane said soothingly. "May I?"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Shane extend his arms. Taking him by surprise I sunk into his arms gratefully. I breathed him in and inhaled the most appealing smell ever. He smelled fresh, clean yet spicy at the same time –like heaven in a bottle. That moment of indiscretion halted my crying. I pressed my face against his chest stifling my next couple of sobs with his muscular chest.

I no longer felt like crying. Just by having Shane here made me feel ten times safer, not that I would ever tell him that. He sensed me trying to straighten up and pulled me tighter to him – hm, I wonder why? It didn't even bother me to be so close to him; I was getting used to his touch.

"There you go," he said. "I'm not that scary."

I laughed. "I always thought you were a bit scary."

He laughed deeply. "How am I scary? I'm the least scariest person ever."

"Yeah right," I scoffed. "You terrorize all the underclassmen at school. Most people are afraid just to make eye contact with you."

He frowned slightly, I hit a soft spot. "I'll work on being nicer if you help me."

"You want me to teach you how to be nice?" I asked incredulously, wiping my runny nose with the sleeve of my shirt – disgusting I know. "Did you seriously just ask me that?"

Shrugging he continued, "Jason and Nate always tell me you are a really good person. Who better to help me than you?"

I eyed him intently, looking for some sort of joke in his eyes – oh those eyes. I couldn't find any joke; I actually couldn't decipher him at all. He was impossible to read. "You're serious?"

"As serious as the wound on your stomach," he joked. I glared at him. "Oh yeah, damn! I really don't know how to be nice. Please Mo-Mo, I need your help! Think of all those young'ns out there I might scare someday. Please, please, please!"

This was unbelievable. In one night I managed to turn Shane Gray from a bad mouthing, arrogant, son-of-a-bitch into a caring, sweet, funny, good-looking – wait, what – boy. I needed to stop saying he was good-looking; it would only complicate things even more.

"Shane Gray, I think this is the making of a beautiful friendship," I said lamely smiling at him.

* * *

Caitlyn and Nate wandered back to JJ Records around 10:30 each carrying the biggest smile. My best friend practically jumped on me when she saw me. Her happiness was contagious. It was impossible not to smile at her.

"You two have fun?" asked Shane teasing his band mate.

Caitlyn stared at him with big brown eyes. "Did he just speak without mentioning himself?"

Shane glanced at me confused. "He's working on his personal issues," I told her laughing. "You'll have to excuse her for the time being, she is one of the ones who thinks you are full of yourself."

Nate shook my hand excitedly. "I can't thank you enough. I knew someone would be able to break through to him. You're a miracle worker. Thank you!"

Shane slugged him. "I'm still here! No need to degrade me."

"You ready to go Mitch?" asked Caitlyn, still in disbelief.

"Yup! Let's go watch movies!" I exclaimed jumping on her back.

She fell over from the sudden weight. We crashed to the floor laughter spewing from our mouths. Both boys stared at us clueless expressions on their flawless faces. Shane lent me a hand pulling me into his arms, pressing my small body against his taut chest – oh heaven.

"Thanks for everything," he whispered in my ear, tingles shot down my spine ending in my toes.

Not knowing exactly what to say, I said, "No problem."

"I'll be talking to you soon," he said with a hint of a smile.

Shane placed me back on my feet to the incredulous faces of Caitlyn and Nate. I'm not sure why Nate looked so freaked, but I could tell exactly what Caitlyn was thinking – best friend intuition. Her look said we-will-talk-about-this-weird-little-hug-thing-later. I rolled my eyes and nodded. I knew I would have to explain it eventually.

"See you boys!" I called dragging my brunette friend away from her lover and out into the brisk December night air.

* * *

I loved Caitlyn's house. It was my home – more of a home than my own house. During the week, if I had to guesstimate, I probably spent at least four days out of seven here. The weekends were a no brainer; I usually slept over Friday or Saturday night both if it was a good weekend. Because of my frequent visits and lengthy stays the Gellar's decided I needed my own bedroom. They turned the guest room into my very own room. I had a few sets of clothes and toiletries for those nights that I forgot to stop at my house before I went over there. I loved her parents; they were amazing people.

"You need to tell me all about your night," I told Caitlyn before she had a chance to ask about mine. Figuring she would talk about Nate forever and completely forget about Shane.

"Don't think I won't remember Mr. Shane, Mitch," she said pointedly. "I know you."

Damn, it was worth a try. "You first."

"How about I pop some popcorn and you put in the movie? Then we can talk while the movie is on," suggested Caitlyn padding into the dark kitchen. "You pick the movie."

I squealed and jogged the three steps to the family room, jumped over the couch, and rolled off plunking to the carpeted floor. I shimmied, or whatever it is when soldiers crawled across the floor, to the DVD cabinet and searched for something good. No more chick flicks tonight, The Notebook had filled me up on romance for the night.

"Mean Girls?" I shouted grabbing the pink and purple box from its row.

"Perfect! I'm in for a good laugh," agreed Caitlyn over the popping of popcorn.

I did a backward roll landing in front of the TV. I pushed the DVD into the player and jumped back onto the leather couch. My blanket was already waiting for me on the armrest courtesy of the Gellar's. They knew me so well. I wrapped my body amongst the warmth sinking down into the comfortable couch to wait for Cait. The smell of buttery popcorn met my nose making my stomach growl with hunger.

"Hurry up Caity!" I complained childishly watching the menu screen change for the third time.

"Hold your panties, I'm coming," she said from behind me.

Two minutes later Caitlyn placed a tray of assorted snack foods, popcorn, and drinks on the coffee table. "I figured we'd have a mini gorge fest."

"I love how you think girlfriend!" I said reaching for a small bottle of apple juice.

"Press play!"

We both situated ourselves until we were comfortable then I demanded, "Tell me about your date woman."

Caitlyn faced me excitement practically leaking out of her pores. "Well, he took me to dinner before, which I really wasn't expecting in the first place. It was really fun. We went to that little diner, the one we went to for Mom's birthday last year."

"Lulu's Diner," I offered.

"Yeah Lulu's. We had the best time there. We talked forever; he is really interesting to talk too actually. I learned so much about him that I never knew. Then we went to a movie. We held hands the whole time!"

I smiled. "I'm glad you had such a good time."

"Wait," she exclaimed exasperatedly. "I'm not done yet! After the movie we walked around the park right by there, so romantic. Then we sat in that gazebo."

"The one by the lake?" I asked curiously. Shane and I were at the park earlier too, weird coincidence but for completely different reasons.

"Yeah that one. Then he turned to me and asked me if I would be his girlfriend!"

I screamed. "No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Ahhh!" we yelled together.

"I'm so happy for you!" I said excitedly, it was refreshing to see Caitlyn so excited and act… so young. She was always trying to take care of me, it was about time she had some fun in her life. "How did he ask you exactly?"

"We were sitting in the gazebo for the longest time talking about how we would have to go boating on the lake this summer," she said dreamily as if remembering a happy dream. "He turned to me and just asked. It took him a couple minutes to actually get it out that he wanted me to be his girlfriend. It was so cute!"

"It sounds so romantic," I said enviously.

Caitlyn hugged me through all her excitement. "It was so romantic. Now you can get together with Shane and we can double date!"

The apple juice I was sipping flew everywhere. "Whoever said anything about me getting together with Shane?"

"It looked like you two were-" her sentence was cut off by the loud vibrating noise coming from the kitchen counter.

"What is that?" I wondered peering over the couch.

"I think it's your phone," she said.

"Oh yeah, in my bag," I said leaping over the couch. "Who is calling me at this hour?"

I fished my phone out of my bag with unsteady hands hoping it wasn't Mom. "One new text," I said looking at Caitlyn. "No one ever texts me but you."

"Open it! Open it!" she said excitedly.

I did. "It's from Shane," I said, highly surprised.

"You got his number!"

"I had no clue. Little sneak must have put it in there while I wasn't looking."

"What does it say?!"

I read the small screen out loud. "I bet I freaked you out. I had fun tonight, surprising I know. You working tomorrow?"

For some reason Caitlyn screamed. "He so likes you!"

"He does not!"

"Of course he does. Why else would he text you?" she asked. "I so did not mean it like that."

I laughed at her scared face. "I know, I know. But to see when I am working I guess," I said uncertainly.

Caitlyn stared at me pointedly. "He could have asked Jason, but instead he went out of his way to text you. He wants to talk to you! Text him back!"

"What should I say?" I asked suddenly becoming nervous.

"Say something like I had fun too. I'm working blah, blah, blah. Come on, you write songs! You can text Shane Gray."

I texted him back and snapped my phone shut. "Since when are you all gung-ho about Shane? I thought you hated his guts?"

"I'm looking at it this way: if you think he's decent enough to talk to, then I will give him the benefit of the doubt. You have better judgment than me usually."

"Yeah I guess I do," I said smugly.

My phone vibrated again.

"He's a fast texter," I stated.

"He just wants to talk to you that badly!" cried Caitlyn leaning over to read the screen.

I know I'm sneaky. :)

Cool, I'm working tomo

too. What are you up to

tonight?

My friend eeped – yes eeped. "What did you tell him?"

"I said 'you're a little sneak putting your number in my phone. Yeah, I'm working tomorrow'. What should I say back?"

"He so likes you! He wants to know what you're doing! Just talk to him, I think you can manage that," she said smirking.

"First of all, he has a girlfriend. Second, I don't even think of him that way." Do I?

Caitlyn frowned. "Tell me what you did tonight," she said suddenly. "I want to know how this whole Smitchie relationship started."

"Smitchie?" I wondered laughing. "What's that our celebrity couple name?"

She shrugged with a laugh. "Just tell me about it!"

"Oh chill out," I sighed.

"Chilling out," she stated robotically.

I rolled my eyes. "You're so weird. If I tell you this you must promise not to tell anyone. He told me not to tell anyone but I'm going to tell you anyway," I said secretively looking around the room for affect. "I made him watch The Notebook."

Her eyes grew wide. "You Notebooked him! You do too like him!"

"Can you get off that!" I exclaimed exasperatedly. "Anyway, he loved the movie. Before that he wanted me to sing for him. His reasoning was he doesn't listen to other people when he sings. I wouldn't sing for him though. He can't get things that easily out of me."

"Wait so you wouldn't sing for him but you got him to watch The Notebook? Damn girl, you have him whipped already."

I just laughed. "We played a game like twenty questions to get to know each other. It was actually really fun. Then something bad happened," I said touching my still aching side.

Lifting my shirt to show Caity the cut, I said, "He discovered this. And no stop thinking what I know your thinking. It wasn't like that."

"What?" she asked innocently.

"I know you. But he hit my side and I'd forgotten completely about this. He thought he hurt me and lifted it to see the damage. He saw and now he's going to be suspicious."

"You didn't tell him anything, did you?" she wondered seriously, her face doing a total one-eighty.

"No I didn't. Surprisingly he understood I didn't want to talk about it. He did say I could talk to him if I ever wanted too."

Caitlyn got that smile on her face, the one that always made me nervous inside. "What are you thinking?" I asked her tentatively.

"Nothing."

My phone vibrated again. I flipped it open revealing Shane's name. Small flutters bubbled in my stomach.

Sounds like fun. I'm

bored. I've got nothing

to do on a Friday night. =\

I smiled in spite of his frowny face. My fingers flew across the keypad.

"What did you tell him?" prodded Caitlyn straining her neck to try and read the screen.

"Nothing," I said snapping it shut and putting it out of her sight.

She pouted.

"Oh boo hoo. I don't bother you about your texts with Nate."

"True, true," she sighed shifting back towards the big screen TV. "What should we do?"

We both sighed together. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye and busted out laughing. She immediately joined in. We laughed so much and so hard that we fell off the couch and lay on the floor holding our stomachs. The ring of Caitlyn's phone made us laugh even harder – I don't even know why, it's just one of those moments with your best friend when you find everything funny.

"Who is it?" I asked crawling over to the couch to check my own phone.

"Nate!" she exclaimed. "He's so sweet!"

I rolled my eyes stifling a yawn. "I'm getting tired."

The yawn traveled to Caitlyn. "Me too. Wanna take this upstairs to my room?" she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"You nasty. But yeah," I said laughing.

I wrapped my blanket around me tightly, while Caitlyn gathered up the food and drinks. I led the way to Caitlyn's bedroom and jumped on her huge bed. A squealing Caitlyn landed on top of me. We instantly settled into our sides of the bed – yes, we have our own sides.

The TV turned on casting a soft blue haze about her room. I sighed deeply snuggling even further into her massive blankets.

"Today was a good day. You are the lead in the school musical, my date was fantastic, I have a boyfriend, you made a new friend, who is still texting you by the way," informed Caitlyn pointing to my blinking phone perched on her nightstand.

I snatched it up before she had a chance to reach her greedy paws across me. I opened the phone eagerly; a new text from Shane stared back. My insides squirmed happily. He must really be bored if he keeps texting me back. Caitlyn's voice kept disturbing my thoughts – he so likes you. I shook that dubious idea away. It was completely ridiculous.

Hey, I'm gonna sleep now.

It's been fun talking and getting

to know you tonight. See you

tomo. Sweet dreams Mo-Mo.

Although I shouldn't have I let his last words get to me. This left my heart pitter pattering against my chest loudly. I looked at my friend wondering if she could hear my racing heart too. She was too focused on her own phone to even notice me starting at her.

I sent back a quick message then turned it off. No more phone tonight.

"Caity," I whined. "Stop talking to Nate. I wanna talk to you."

Surprisingly she obliged. She set her phone on the desk and turned to face me with not one ounce of complaints.

"Wow that was easy."

"I'm not going to get all wrapped up in Nate Black and completely forget about my best friend. I could never do that," she smiled folding her hands underneath her cheek. "What did you want to talk about?"

I sighed. "Life. Problems. Musical. Shane Gray," I muttered the last almost incoherently.

Caitlyn screeched – I did say almost. "You're starting to rethink him. I knew it!"

"No I'm not," I said firmly not quite believing me either. "He's going to be suspicious now. What am I supposed to do?"

"Well," she began thoughtfully. "I can't believe I'm saying this but if you think you can trust him, tell him. But if you do tell him think of all the other things he's going to think, like pity."

"Believe me I've already hit that obvious conclusion many times," I said rolling on my back. "I'll probably never tell him."

"But think of how it can be good. He could finally get you out of there. Something I've been trying to do for over a year."

"I just can't. We've talked about this," I said weakly.

Caitlyn sighed with frustration. "I don't understand though. How can you keep going back to that _house_? I can't even call it a home. I just don't- I just don't get it," she finished quietly. "I don't know how someone like you could stand it. You are the most forgiving, peaceful, sweet, relaxed, carefree person I know. I don't know how you do it."

I didn't know I was crying until a tear slipped off my cheek and onto my arm. Caitlyn hugged me holding me close.

"You are my best friend in the whole entire world, and I will get you out of there someday," she said with an air of triumphant. "Mark my word."

**

* * *

hmmmmm!!!! i hope you liked it! it was one of my longer ones. ill update tomorrow tooo! keep me smiling loves. :)**


	7. Fighting

***cowers behind desk to avoid all the stuff being thrown at me***

**i know i promised you, or i thought i had, a chapter before i left! but my internet hasnt been my best friend lately. and its been really annoying. but i think we fixed most of it now. and im a very happy camper because of that! i got back from vacation an hour ago and i went straight to the computer to see if it worked. and WALAA!! it did. and since i couldnt wait any longer im updating now. and i will definitely update another one tomorrow too. just because ive let you guys go too long. and im soo very sorry for that. i will never allow that to happen again!**

**i also wrote alot over break. so i need to type up all those chapters and send them on their way. :) and i cant forget to mention how i have the amazingest [i made it up] reviewers ever! keep up the amazing work! all your reviews make me wanna write more and more just because so many people wanna see what happens next!!**

**i think you will like this chapter. its got an interesting part. and they SING!! whoop whoop! big surprise. :) im going to shut up now cause i bet you all wanna kill me and just read this chapter. stopping noowww....**

**after the disclaimer. i dont own camp rock. or any of the songs i use in this chapter. everything else is mine that isnt familiar. :)**

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* * *

Chapter Seven:**** Fighting**

_**What am I fighting for?**_

_**There must be something more**_

_**For all these words I sing**_

_**Do you feel anything?**_

**Fighting: Yellowcard**

Around twelve the next day I left Caitlyn's to go home and shower before heading to work. Caitlyn kept teasing me saying I wanted to get all pretty for Shane. But in reality, I hadn't showered in a day or so and I felt nasty. Personal reasons or not, I was going to shower.

The house was empty. All the lights were off and windows drawn shut. I opened my mouth to call out for Mom when I noticed a note on the table.

_Mitchie Moo,_

_I've gone to Scarlet's for the weekend._

_Be careful. Don't stay long._

_I love you,_

_Mom_

I folded the note and tucked it away. Nice of her to tell me beforehand, where was I going to stay tonight? Immediately I whipped out my phone.

"Caitlyn, hey," I said into the phone. "Yeah, I know I just left your house." Caitlyn yammered on about something. "Hey, hey! Listen to me for a minute. Are you going to be home tonight?" Another yammering session. "Oh really? Okay, never mind then." Another. "No, no don't worry about it. I'll find somewhere else. Have fun in Kent." Another. "I love you too, bye."

"I guess I'll just stay with one of my other friends," I joked bitterly to myself. "Yeah all my other friends."

Now that I felt completely abandoned and left behind, I decided to take a shower hoping to formulate some brilliant plan of what I would do tonight. There was no way I was staying home alone or worse.

* * *

An hour and a half later I was squeaky clean and dressed for work in my dark blue long sleeve and khaki pants. I know I wasn't supposed to be there until 2:30 but it took me a good half an hour to walk all the way to JJ Records. I thought I might as well leave now since I have nothing else to do.

I grabbed my bag, my phone, a bottle of water, my wintery jacket, and my gold aviators, compliments of Caitlyn's wardrobe, and set off into the cool air of mid-December.

Cars whizzed past me as I strode leisurely down the sidewalk. The remnants of the last snow clung to the median and sides of the road in dirty piles. The disgusting mush added a wonderful color to the already dull scenery – oh the beauty of Ohio winters.

They weren't always that bad. The first snow was always the prettiest – I know, duh, but it really was. Everything was covered in a fresh, soft, white powder looking almost too perfect to touch. Then the snow plow's started moving not even twenty minutes after the fall, and it turned into dirty slop.

I, personally, love the snow. It was the cold I wasn't particularly fond of – odd, I know. The snow would be a billion times more attractive and wanted if it wasn't cold, but then there wouldn't be any snow without the coldness. It's just a lose/lose situation.

I turned a corner too quickly and almost walked right into a biker. He maneuvered around me expertly barely missing my toes. He shouted something at me angrily but I ignored him for my smile was steadily growing. The huge, red JJ Records sign materialized in the distance, only five more minutes.

My thoughts of snow were quickly diminished by the thoughts of what awaited me at work, or rather who awaited me. My heart started to do that thing it did last night every time I got a new text from Shane, quickening and pumping faster than my usual pace. Excitement shot through me as I broke into a power walk. What was coming over me?

The bell over the door dinged my arrival. Nate looked up from his magazine and waved. I waved back walking to the back room to drop my bag off.

"Hey Nate," I said sliding my aviators to rest on my head. "I heard your date went extremely well."

I noticed how his eyes perked up at the mention of _date_. "Cait talked to you about our date?"

"She couldn't shut up about it," I laughed sitting next to him and slipping the unattended magazine from his grasp.

"I've liked her for such a long time," sighed Nate happily. "I had so much fun with her."

"You've liked her for a long time? Why didn't you ask her out sooner?"

"I didn't know if she liked me like that," he admitted sheepishly.

I stopped flipping through the pages to gawk at my curly headed friend. "Seriously? You're being serious?"

Nate looked confused.

"You never noticed Caitlyn throwing herself at you?" I asked completely appalled.

He shrugged.

"Pathetic." I slapped my forehead. "Oh well, at least you two are together now."

"Yeah," he said dreamily staring off into space.

Well he certainly was boring. Do people always get boring when their in love, because if they do I never want to fall in love. I don't like being boring; it's just not fun – obviously.

I tapped my fingers against my mouth thoughtfully. "Is Jason in?" As a second though I added, "Or Shane?"

Hearing Shane's name broke through his loving haze. "Yeah, he's actually upstairs. I didn't even know he was supposed to work today," said Nate pointedly. "He's never been this excited to come to work before. I wonder why that is?"

My heart stammered. I shrugged nonchalantly. "I'll be right back. I'm going to go upstairs," I said awkwardly jumping up from the stool.

I didn't see Nate shake his head at me, but I knew he was. I raced up the stairs feeling anticipation pound in my body. Who knew I'd be excited to see Shane, definitely not me. A beautiful melody stopped me in my tracks. Studio A's door was cracked open a smidge allowing a swell of guitar drift to the hallway.

I peered inside not wanting to disturb him. Don't ask me why I knew it was Shane, I just did. I crept quietly being careful not to make any noise. Shane had his back to the door which allowed me to sneak in and listen without being seen.

Chords and notes jumped off the guitar naturally. I didn't doubt that he could play in his sleep he was that good. The tune was unfamiliar which led me to the conclusion that it was an original. I leaned back in the swivel chair letting his voice entrap me in wonderment.

"If the heart is always searching. Can you ever find a home? I've been looking for that someone. I'll never make it on my own. Dreams can't take the place of loving you. There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true. When you look me in the eyes. And tell me that you love me. Everything's alright when you're right here by my side. When you look me in the eyes. I catch a glimpse of heaven. I find my paradise when you look me in the eyes," belted Shane passionately.

He strummed the guitar for a few seconds before continuing his alluring song. "How long will I be waiting. To be with you again. I'm gonna tell you that I love you in the best what that I can. I can't take a day without you here. You're the light that makes my darkness disappear. When you look me in the eyes. And tell me that you love me. Everything's alright when you're right here by my side. When you look me in the eyes. I catch a glimpse of heaven. I find my paradise when you look me in the eyes."

"More and more, I start to realize. I can reach my tomorrow. I can hold my head up high. And it's all because you're by my side. When you look me in the eyes. And tell me that you love me. Everything's alright when you're right here by my side. And when I hold you in my arms. I know that its forever. I just gotta let you know. I never wanna let you go, cause when you look me in the eyes. And tell me that you love me. Everything's alright, when you're right here by my side. When you look me in the eyes. I catch a glimpse of heaven. I find my paradise. When you look me in the eyes," he sang softly. "Oh yeah, ooooh, ooh yeah, yeah."

My head was spinning. My mouth felt numb. I was surprised I could form coherent thoughts. "It's beautiful," I said pushing down the mic button.

Shane whirled around, startled. His frown turned into a smile when he saw me. "Trying to sneak up on me."

I smiled. "Oh yeah, I'm stalking you now. Didn't you know?"

A full throated laugh echoed through the control room. "I guess I missed the memo. So you liked the song? It's still a little rough but I'm working on it. It's made for a duet. I think I'll show it to Nate soon," he said running his hand over another set of chords.

"Show off," I told him jokingly. "I really like it though. It's seriously so good. Who's it for?"

Shane looked amused. "You assume I wrote it for someone."

"Unless you wrote it about yourself while you were staring in the mirror one day."

"You're right," he laughed. "You caught me. I wrote it about myself."

I shook my head. "You're impossible; you're supposed to be working on this nice thing, no more arrogant comments."

"Oh you know I'm only joking Mo-Mo," he said, eyes twinkling from underneath his unruly straight hair. "I actually wrote it for a girl, a very special girl."

"I'm still surprised it's not about yourself," I said shortly. "Are you going to play it for Tess? I'm sure she will love it."

"What makes you think I wrote it for Tess?" he asked setting the guitar on a stand and exiting the room.

"She is your girlfriend. It only seems appropriate," I said confusion written all over my face.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't," he said coyly picking me out of my chair. "It's your turn now." He pushed me into the studio and closed the door behind me.

With a flick the door was locked and he sauntered to the seat I had previously occupied. I pounded against the door yelling at his smug face. He leaned back and smiled.

'I can't hear you,' he mouthed over-exaggeratedly.

I huffed angrily stomping over to the mic dangling from the ceiling.

"Let me out!" I yelled at him.

Shane pressed the button and said, "Not until you sing me a song."

I crossed my arms, sat on the stool, and took a deep breath. "No," I tried to say calmly. "You can't force me to sing a song."

"Wanna bet?" he laughed, rising from his chair and walking out the door.

"Shane!" I shouted after him. "Come back here right now!"

He poked his adorable head back in room with a playful expression. God, could he be anymore adorable? I think the obvious answer was yes of course he could.

"I can't sing. I don't have Carley," I said triumphantly; I never played one of my songs without her.

A grin the size of Antarctica stretched across his face. He sat back down and said, "Look to your right."

I did. Carley sat in a stand against the wall sparkling beautifully from the lighting. Oh, he was good and evil but good.

"Ooh so you set me up," I said taking Carley from her place.

"It's working isn't it?" he said his smile widening.

Even through my anger I smiled. Shane had a way of breaking me of my anger and making me feel vulnerable. I'm not sure if I liked that yet.

"It is," he shouted jubilantly, pumping his fist in the air. "What are you going to sing for me today Miss Torres?"

I rolled my eyes, could he be anymore adorable – wait didn't we just go over this. I blinked, am I really thinking these thoughts about Shane Gray?

"Well Mr. Gray, I think I will sing you a Mitchie Torres original never heard before. You are in for a treat," I said cockily using my best Shane Gray attitude.

"Amaze me," he said simply.

I stuck out my tongue, a childish gesture but I felt it was appropriate. I cradled Carley in my arms running my fingers along the strings. The scale chimed perfectly off my fingers.

"Done!" I shouted playfully. "I'm just playing with you." Shane's startled face relaxed; man, he could be uptight.

My fingers caressed the strings slowly emitting the beginning of my song. I looked up from my guitar and saw Shane smiling in an impressed way. Yeah, that's right, prepare to be amazed I thought to myself. I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut. I let the music from my guitar fill me; I can do this.

"I'm losing myself," I sang softly, "trying to compete with everyone else, instead of just being me. I don't know where to turn. I've been stuck in this routine. I need to change my ways instead of always being weak."

My fingers moved beneath me as I sang the chorus. "I don't wanna be afraid. I wanna wake up feeling beautiful today. And know that I'm okay cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways you see. I just wanna believe in me. La la la la, la la la la," I belted into the mic.

"The mirror can lie," I sang smiling, "doesn't show you what's inside. And it, it can tell you you're full of life. It's amazing what you can hide, just by putting on a smile. I don't wanna be afraid. I wanna wake up feeling beautiful today. And know that I'm okay cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways you see. I just wanna believe in me."

"I'm quickly finding out. I'm not about to break down," I sang softly continuing to beat out the song with my guitar, "not today. I guess I always knew that I had all the strength to make it through. Not gonna be afraid, I'm gonna wake up feeling beautiful today. And know that I'm okay cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways you see. Now, now I believe in me. Now I believe in me." I squeezed my eyes tight feeling the water leak out the corners.

My words hung in the air as I played the final chords. The music from my guitar reverberated throughout the studio, and I finally opened my eyes allowing them to breathe. The chair was empty; Shane was gone.

"Of course," I sighed setting Carley down.

I barely had Carley in her stand before he tackled me off the stool. His arms squeezing me so tight I thought my head was going to pop off from lack of oxygen.

"Shane," I choked. "You're killing me."

His mind registered what I said and quickly released me. "I'm sorry but Mo-Mo, that was incredible. This is the kind of music I love listening too; songs that mean something to someone, songs that are so powerful just by their meaning. I just- I can't- you gave me goose bumps," he said holding his arm out for me to examine.

What do I say in reply to that? Thank you, my mind screamed.

"I just can't believe it. I knew you were deep but I didn't know that deep. You're really amazing," he whispered wrapping his arms around me again.

This time I was able to wrap mine around him and not be crushed. I felt myself melting into his body and loving every minute of it.

"Shane?" a girl's voice echoed.

He dropped his arms suddenly and slowly backed away from me. He gave me a painful look before turning around, not before I broke out into giggles.

"Tess," he said, his teeth gritted.

Her would-be pretty face distorted. "Baby, I thought we were hanging out today."

"I called you and told you I had to work," said Shane in a monotone voice.

Tess walked over and wrapped her thin arms around his neck dragging his face down to meet hers. I looked away; it was too disgusting for me to witness. Although I did see Shane push her away him, much to her displeasure.

"You never cared about work before," she pouted crossing her arms. "What changed your mind now?"

I continued not to look, not wanting to invade on their argument, but I could feel the weight of their stares fall on me.

"Seriously Shane, a freshman? Honestly?"

"I'm not a freshman," I stated more defensively than I intended.

Tess rounded on me. "Oh, she speaks?"

Anger erupted in my eyes. "I can speak for myself. You have no right to talk to me like that. You don't know me at all."

"I think I have every right to talk to you however I want," Tess replied. "You stole my spot in the musical. I still have not found out how you bribed M into letting you get the part: my part."

I almost laughed. "You're mad at me because I got the lead and you didn't?" I asked, flabbergasted. "What grade are we in, first?"

She huffed indignantly; clearly she didn't like to be talked to in this manner. "I know I'm not but you definitely look like you are. What's with you always wearing these long sleeved shirts? Don't have anything else better to wear?"

"If you haven't been outside lately, it's December. Just a heads up for you," I said sarcastically.

"But you always wear them, even in the spring and summer," she said defiantly, she wasn't backing down yet and I didn't like where this was headed. "What are you hiding?"

She moved to touch me. "Don't touch me," I said firmly.

"Mitchie afraid to be touched?" mocked Tess. "Don't get enough loving at home? Don't know how to react when people touch you?"

She didn't know how hard that hit home. The tears started to build in my eyes.

"Seems I touched a nerve," she said happily, her evil eyes glowing with immense hatred and evil. "What is it? Do you have some sad story like everyone else? Daddy doesn't love you enough? Mommy never comes around to give you hugs? What's your deal?"

"Shut up," I tried to say firmly but came out as more of a squeak.

"I think I'm getting warmer," she said evilly. "You play this sad, pity me routine that attracts the attention of people like Shane. You just want everyone to notice you, and that's why you had to go steal my boyfriend from under my grasps. You are jealous of me, just like all these other girls. You're pathetic. Honestly, grow up and stop moping around. Everyone knows you're pathetic."

Before I could reply Shane stepped in. "You are such a bitch Tess. What is your problem? You don't just come up in my store and make fun of my friends for no apparent reason. You have no reason to talk to her that way, or even talk to her in general. She is so much better than you will ever be. You are just a shallow, sad girl wanting all the attention on yourself," he said turning to me. "Oh and if you didn't get the hint, we're over. You're so not worth my time."

Tess stood rooted to the spot, shocked to the core. "You're ending this over _her_? You must have gone mental Shane. What has she given you? What sob story did she feed you to make you like her? This is ridiculous. You're not thinking straight at all."

"Actually I'm perfect. I haven't felt this good in a long time. It's a relief not to be in you claws anymore. I'm done. Good bye Tess. Please leave my property before I make you."

Tess made a noise between disbelief and terror. "This will not be the last you see of me Shane Gray," she warned, "and you." Then she stalked out.

Shane completely ignored the diva's exit, his eyes focused solely on me. Those intriguing brown/blue eyes drew me in. I couldn't look away no matter how much I wanted too. I had been meaning to ask him if Nate and he were related. It seemed no better a time than to ask now, better than having to deal with the pity party that he was about to rain down on me.

"Interesting question to ask," he chuckled, his intense air quickly thinning. "Jason, Nate and I are all cousins, but were more like brothers really."

Explains a lot. "I was wondering," I muttered hoping he fell for this distraction.

Of course he didn't, he was way smarter than I gave him credit for. "Don't think you're getting out of telling me what you're not telling me, if that makes any sense. I'm not going to pressure you into telling me anything though. Just remember what I told you before."

I nodded knowing exactly what he meant.

Shane turned to walk out of the studio but stopped abruptly. "What are you doing tonight?"

"After work? Nothing. Mom is not at home so I'm there by myself tonight."

"What about your dad?"

Damn, I always forget to mention him too. "He's out on business."

"So, you're staying at home by yourself? You can't do that. You can come over and stay with us tonight."

My face must have shown confusion.

"You can come hang out with Jason, Nate, and I. We all live together. It's complicated," he said dismissively.

"People only say that when they don't want to explain it," I said mimicking him from yesterday.

"Maybe if you came over I would tell you," he said hopefully.

"I'll think about it," I said smiling.

"It's a start," he said happily.

**

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OOOOOOOOH! SLEEEEEP OVER!!!!! :) pie this time anyone?? im feeling boston creme pie, its my favorite!! thanks for reading!**


	8. She Will Be Loved

**i promised you i would update today! and even tho my internet is down again, yesh that stupid thing can never seem to make up its mind. =\ i was determined to update again. so im on moms ancient computer uploading this here chapter for you. just because you guys are awesome. i hope you know that. thats why im updating again so quick. now after this i gotta type all my chapters up, so it might be a couple days until the next one. :)**

**i like this chapter. we have a good mitchie/shane banter. plus mitchie gets to meet his family!! isnt this so exciting. shes meeting the parents. this is a bit of a fluffier chapter and a filler to more important things coming down the road. :)**

**disclaimer: i dont own any of camp rock or its characters. or maroon 5 or fall out boy. although i wish i did. i do own every member of the family that you dont know. i definitely on hollace. she is just too adorable for words in my mind. i hope you enjoy meeting part of his family!**

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* * *

Chapter Eight:**** She Will Be Loved**

_**I don't mind spending everyday**_

_**Out on your corner in the pouring rain**_

_**Look for the girl with the broken smile**_

_**Ask her if she wants to stay a little while**_

_**And she will be loved, and she will be loved**_

**She Will Be Loved: Maroon 5**

Work was insanely fun, probably the most fun I've ever had at work. Not only was Shane absolutely hilarious, Jason and Nate joined in with him from time to time; cracking jokes and making fun of each other. I don't think I've laughed so hard in years. They kept doing stupid things like tackling each other out of nowhere or wrestling in the middle of the store, boy things – there's no better word for it. It was so entertaining to watch them interact with each other. Half the time the other knew exactly what one was going to do which made it even more interesting to watch.

"So Mo-Mo, work is almost over. Have you decided?"

"Decided what?" asked Jason while carrying another box into the storage room; he had just gotten a new delivery of DVD's.

I opened my mouth to answer but Shane beat me to it. "Mo's parents aren't home tonight so I offered to take the abandoned girl under our wing," Shane said jokingly not knowing how truthful his words actually were.

Nate's face lit up. "You definitely need too! It would be so much fun. Too bad Caity is out of town," he finished sadly, his head drooping adorably.

I rolled my eyes at my friend's melodramatic nature. Caitlyn was really getting to him.

Jason nodded his agreement. "Our mom's would love you."

"I don't know," I said hesitantly polishing the last of the records. "I don't want to invade on you and your families."

"You wouldn't be imposing at all. Just another addition to the craziness."

"I don't know," I said scratching my head with a record casing.

"Please! Please! Please!" begged Shane kneeling down, giving me the best puppy dog face he could muster.

"You can't say no to that face," Jason stated giving me a look that said just-say-yes-you-know-you-want-to.

I looked back to Shane. He seemed like a completely different person than the guy I'd met a couple days prior. The old Shane would never have given me the time of day let alone begged me to come over to his house. In the time I've gotten to know him his attitude has done a complete one-eighty. He was trying to be nicer to everyone – keyword trying, actually he was doing much better than I imagined. He showed up to work and actually worked, unlike before when he never showed up. Within a couple days Shane Gray had grown up, and now he was one of my good friends.

His brown/blue eyes pleaded with my own. It suddenly became hard for me to breath. If I had a weakness it would be those damn eyes, but seeing as I don't have a weakness…

"Oh okay, you make it so damn hard to say no to you," I finally said.

He jumped up from his spot and hugged me – so Shane was a hugger, I was slowly getting used to this. "Yeah, I'm so excited," he exclaimed gaily.

I stopped. "Okay Shane you need to stop acting so girlie. It's making you unattractive." Not that that could ever happen really.

He pouted adorably. "You think I'm attractive!"

"What? Doh!" I complained slapping my head. "I need to run home and get clothes before I come over though," I said changing the subject.

"We can stop by your house on the way to ours. I insist I drive you," he said.

I knew better than to argue with him. "Oh alright, let me get my bag and we can head out to my lovely home."

"See you guys at home!" yelled Shane to Jason and Nate ushering me out of JJ records and into the nippy wind.

* * *

I was nervous.

Scratch that; I was terrified.

Shane sang quietly to the Fall Out Boy – yes FOB – song filling his extremely nice Jeep Liberty completely oblivious to my inner struggle currently occupying every ounce of my being.

We would be arriving at my house in less than three seconds, and I had no clue what I was going to find there. Mom was gone which meant there was no chance of her lying on the floor in a bloody mess. It's sad that this image has to even cross through my mind, but it does… a lot.

The thing really bothering me was what if he was home. I prayed to all that was holy that he wouldn't be. I didn't feel like explaining everything to Shane – not tonight at least. I wanted to be another normal teenager for at least a couple more nights.

"This one right here," I told him pointing at the gloomy house.

"You want me to go in with you?" he asked protectively – a little soon to be overprotective isn't it? "It looks really dark in there."

"That's because no one would be home," I said sarcastically. "We usually don't leave our lights on when we leave. You know the whole conserving energy thing. Maybe you should try it?"

He made a face at me. "Think you're so clever."

"I am, but I'm good. I'll be quick. If I'm not out in five minutes the ghost in the attic might have gotten to me, so you can come in then," I said hopping out of the car before he had a chance to take a swing at me.

I giggled silently as I crossed the driveway and quietly made my way into the house. I slinked up to my room being careful not to make any noise. I didn't bother with the light it would only give me away if indeed he was here. I knew where everything I needed was anyway.

I stuffed a bundle of clothes along with a brush, toothbrush, and other toiletries into a small yellow duffle bag. The last thing I grabbed was my IPod before running out my door. A noise coming from my parents' room stopped me cold.

Another battled raged inside me. Unfortunately I was too curious and nosey for my own good. I crept to the room listening for more sounds.

The door was cracked open slightly giving me the chance to peer in. The moment I saw I wished I wasn't a naturally curious and nosey person. He was in there rolling around in bed with a woman that was definitely not my mother. A sickness so intense washed over me I felt I might fall over. It required all my strength and willpower to turn from my cheating good for nothing father and run to Shane.

I threw open the door and slammed it shut behind me – maybe with a tad more force than intended. "Drive," I instructed him, still fuming from what I'd seen.

"You okay?" he asked speeding out the driveway and continuing down the road. "Was it the ghosts? I thought you would have been able to take him."

It never failed. Even in the worst situations Shane found some way to make me laugh. "He cornered me in my room and told me not to go home with you, that you were some sort of bad guy and he was much better than you."

Shane gasped. "I'm going to have to talk to this here ghost. No one, not even a ghost, can be better than me," he said with cockiness, but I knew he was playing. Although he had no idea, this was exactly what I needed right now. People have always told me laughter and smiling is the cure for everything, I'm starting to learn that these incredibly smart people were probably right.

I shrugged. "I guess he thinks he's better than you. He kept saying 'don't go I will keep you safe tonight'," I said watching Shane's reaction.

His face distorted angrily. "Some ghost thinks I can't keep you safe at night. Well I'll show him," he muttered more to himself than anything.

"You are going to keep me safe tonight?" I asked leaning my head back allowing Maroon 5's song, She Will Be Loved, sing the story of my life at the moment. Why is it that whenever you're feeling a certain way a song that describes exactly what you're thinking comes on? I mean honestly, she will be loved. Let's just post a sticky-note to my forehead that says 'THIS GIRL NEEDS LOVING… FROM SHANE GRAY', it would make much more sense than working through all the coincidences.

"Of course I am," he said easily. "I'm a great protector."

I smiled singing softly to myself. "I don't mind spending every day. Out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile. Ask her if she wants to stay a little while. And she will be loved. She will be loved."

Shane was staring at me again – the uncomfortable way.

"What?" I asked yawning.

"I just can't get over how good you can sing," he said sincerely. "And you cannot be tired girl. You will not be getting to bed for a while."

"And why not?" I asked.

"The whole house is going to be up and ready to meet you."

"Oh no, you didn't tell them all I was coming did you?" I groaned.

"It's kind of hard to tell only one and not have everyone else find out."

"I guess you're right," I sighed. I was excited to meet his family, but I would never admit to that. It would make us sound like we were together or something which we definitely weren't.

"We're here," announced Shane parking outside a large three-story house.

"It's not much but its home," he said exiting the car, racing across the front to open my door.

"You're learning manners," I said taking his hand and gawking at the house. "Yeah not much at all."

He smiled. "Be careful of the toys. The kids never seem to be able to pick them up."

I successfully avoided a toy truck and a fallen bike following Shane through the front doors. The instant I walked in I felt at home. Every light was on giving the home a cozy glow.

"Mom!" Shane called setting my small bag by the stairs. "We're here!"

The inside of his house was exactly the same as the outside, big and homey. I wanted to wander around and look at everything but I didn't even have a chance to glance up the stairs. Chairs scrapped against the wooden floor in a room to the left followed by the padding of little feet. Three young children rushed to us all tackling Shane's legs.

I watched him scoop up the littlest girl and playfully toss her to the ceiling – she didn't actually go _that_ high, Shane isn't _that_ strong. The sweetest look appeared on his face from making the little girl giggle. He looked beyond happy, and I couldn't help but smile with him.

"Thane, who tis?" the other girl at his feet asked with the most adorable lisp ever.

"This is Mitchie," Shane said slowly introducing me to the children. "Mitchie this is Hollace," he said ruffling the dark brown hair of the girl with the lisp. "This is Bryden," he said acknowledging the little boy. "And this is Jensen," he said rubbing his face on her belly. "Where's everyone else?"

"Ke-Keavy Rae fell athleep," Hollace said quickly making it impossible to understand her.

"She couldn't stay up," added Bryden with a smug grin – wonder which boy he belonged to?

"A-and Ry-Ry didn't want tay wait up."

Bryden moved in front of Hollace pushing her aside. "James got in trouble and Mama Julie put him in bed."

"How many kids are here?" I asked him quietly.

"Nine plus Jason, Nate, and I," he said. "Oh yeah, Laurie has one on the way so thirteen altogether."

Thirteen kids in one house, thirteen! Oh my God, that's insane. I would go crazy if I had thirteen siblings and cousins running around the house.

"I know, I know, it's really crazy," he said quickly. "But its home."

"No, I think it's amazing," I breathed. "Just don't count on me memorizing all their names in one night."

He laughed. "There will be many more nights for you to memorize them," he said cheekily looking over his shoulder at me as he walked to the room all the children came running from.

Oh, he thinks he's so slick. I took an angry step almost knocking over the small brunette girl. She giggled and tugged on my pant leg. I picked her up easily and she giggled more.

"Mi-e," she tried, taking a stab at my name.

I laughed. "Just call me Mimi."

"Mimi," Hollace smiled repeating my name. "I like you. Thane like you too. He tellth me all the thime."

"Oh really?" I asked curiously bringing the girl closer to me.

"Mo-Mo!" Shane called from the next room. "Come in here!"

I nuzzled my nose against Hollace's. "We will talk later."

Hollace giggled her approval. I followed the sound of Shane's voice into the kitchen while Hollace muttered unfathomable words. Three grown women sat around the large table, cards laid out. The first to stand was a short yet strikingly beautiful raven haired woman. I instantly knew who it was without even having to be introduced.

"Hello, I'm Stacey Gray, Shane's mother if you didn't know. I'm so excited to finally meet you," she hugged me instead of the usual handshake – I see where Shane gets it from now. "We've heard so much about you."

"Nice to meet you too," I said eyeing Shane over his mother's shoulder.

She pulled away holding me at arm's length. "You're so gorgeous. Isn't she so gorgeous?" she inquired her sisters.

"More gorgeous than you let on boy," the plump sister said rubbing a hand over her protruding belly, she was Laurie. This left the forlorn, sickly looking one to be Mama Julie. I was never going to remember all of them.

I smiled awkwardly not used to being commented on my supposed beauty. Laurie smiled at me fondly. "The boys speak very highly of you," Laurie continued happily. "I understand why now. Isn't she just a doll Julie?"

Julie nodded shortly picking up her cards again. She didn't seem to like me very much – wonder why that was. Laurie turned her focus back to her game. "Too bad Nate didn't pick you up instead of that Caitlyn girl."

My eyes bugged out at the mention of Caitlyn – the mentioning wasn't anything nice either. Someone didn't like Caitlyn, insane!

"Come along," Stacey said dragging me away from her sisters. "Just ignore them, they like to speak their mind a little too much, at least Laurie does." Hollace ran after us grabbing onto my free hand. "Excuse our mess, the children never put away their toys." She gave Hollace a pointed look causing her to shrink behind me giggling.

"I'll show you our guest room. It's up on the third floor with all the boys. I don't have a problem with you sleeping up there, I know my boys won't do anything stupid," said Stacey lightly. I loved how she called them my boys like they were all hers. "It just seems more appropriate than to stick you in Hell Hall – that's where all the children sleep."

I laughed – Hell Hall.

"Do you need anything? I think there's a closet in there with extra pillows and blankets and towels. I'm not sure though."

"No, I'm good ma'am."

"Oh just call me Stacey," she said flippantly, opening a white wood door. "Here is your room. If you need anything at all just ask Shane. I'm sure he's lingering around here somewhere waiting for me to stop talking to you."

I laughed again, sizing up the guest room – it was huge!

Stacey popped her head back in the door. "By the way, I like you so much better than Tess already," stated Stacey bluntly. Hollace raced into the room practically knocking Stacey out of the doorway. "It seems you've acquired a follower. Just tell her to leave if she bothers you. You hear me Holl?"

"Yeth Thathy!" chanted Hollace attempting to jump up on the huge king size bed with me.

I reached down and easily placed her on the bed tickling her little belly. Her giggles trilled throughout the room – adorable. "So what else has Shane said about me?"

"Yeah Hollace, what else have I said?" teased Shane from the doorway.

I glanced back and saw Shane, arms crossed, relaxing on the frame. Even by doing something so simple and relaxing, Shane could make my heart speed up in ways I never thought possible. I tucked my face in Hollace hair to hide my blush.

Hollace bounced excitedly. "He thayth how youth thothe pretty and he liketh you aloth," she said cutely. "He tellth me all the time."

Shane pounced on her gently. "I didn't mean for you to really tell her, Holl."

She grinned widely showing to small front teeth on her top jaw. "Can I thleep with you tonight Mimi?"

I looked to Shane, he shrugged saying it was up to me.

"Sure," I told her.

She squealed happily. "I goth go geth ready!"

Hollace bounded out of the room. "You don't have to let her sleep with you."

"Why? Jealous?" I asked suggestively – where did that come from, did I really just say that?

Shane bowed his head embarrassedly.

"You think I'm pretty, you like me," I sang teasing him mercifully.

He smiled in that way that made me uncomfortable, but not the bad uncomfortable, the good one where it makes your insides squirm – yeah that one.

"What?" I asked uneasily.

His eyes went to the window lighting his face up. "Mo-Mo look, snow."

He raced to the window opening a door I hadn't known was there. The door opened up to a mini balcony laden with a thin layer of snow. Flakes of puffy white snow fell from above sticking to the snow already stuck to the ground. I stuck out my tongue catching one instantly.

"It's so pretty," I sighed noticing all the snow sticking in the backyard.

Shane nodded his approval, his eyes half-mast.

"I love your family. They are great."

"You haven't even met half of them yet," he laughed. "Wait until the morning."

I smiled, and we stood in silence for a couple minutes. "Shane thanks so much for letting me crash here tonight."

"Anytime," he said lightly, a smile playing on his face.

"So," I started, "since I'm here you promised to tell me about your family."

Shane's happiness suddenly diminished. "Let's go inside to talk about this one. You might have frost bite by the time I'm done."

**

* * *

so youve met only a small portion of the big clan. you like so far? you will meet the rest in the next chapter! they are a sight. :) dont you just wish you had a big family like the grays, blacks, and mahogonys. hahaha the color clan! thanks for reading again, all your reviews in the past 12 hours just blows my mind! keep up the amazing reading!! :) more coming sooon....**


	9. Let It Snow

**hello my dearies!! thanks for all your reviews!! they are just soo awesome! i love reading them all and seeing how you guys are reacting to the story. :) i know i may have left the last chapter a little confusing with who belonged to who. but i think i cover most of that in this chapter. so if you are still confused about which child belongs to who just ask! i will gladly make you a family outline. :)**

**so, this chapter we see vulnerable shane gray. he tells his story which i hope isnt too confusing. i tried to make it pretty straight forward. more hollace action as usual. gotta love her. and the rest of the family comes into play! not all of them have significant parts. but we will see how that plays out later... there is also a mitchie monologue about her past. i think it gives you a good insight. and noo dont jump out of your seats yet. she doesnt tell shane this chapter. - i know thats what you all were thinking**

**this is my longest chapter to date. i was even gonna cut it off at one of the parts but i just couldnt. so i gave you guys an extra long treat for waiting a couple days for this chapter. now i really gotta get typing and writing. its just been so nice out and i havent been inside at all. but now its starting to rain so i will be writing more. :)**

**enough chatter now. to the disclaimer. i dont own the camp rock characters or this remake of let it snow. i do, however, own hollace and all the other children and parents in the clan. did i tell you... ive officially dubbed them the clan. now to the exciting stuff!!**

**

* * *

Chapter Nine:**** Let It Snow**

_**Oh the weather outside is frightful**_

_**But the fire is so delightful**_

_**And since we've no place to go**_

_**Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow**_

_**It doesn't show signs of stopping**_

_**But I brought some corn for popping**_

_**The lights are turned way down low**_

_**Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow**_

**Let It Snow: Aly & A.J.**

"You want to see Hell Hall?" he asked first. "I'm sure Mom already told you about it."

"Actually yeah," I replied laughing. "I would love to see it."

He smiled. "Most of the kids should already be in bed but there are always some that like to roam around later than others."

I followed him down a flight of stairs, and the atmosphere changed completely. All the lights seemed to be on disregarding the fact that it was almost eleven. Shouts of excitement and anger were heard from within the rooms. The doors were wide open allowing the children easy access to run from one room to the next. I noticed that each door had a white board with the names of the children that slept in that room along with other decorations they had added.

"All the kids live on this floor," I wondered, "by themselves?"

Shane chuckled. "No, Stacey and Julie sleep in the wing off to the right," he said pointing down the hallway. "They are on the floor but not in the mix of it all. I think they would go crazy if they had to live next door to all of them."

I nodded glancing through a door that had the sign: _Libba and Kylee's Room_. Their door was only cracked open. I heard the girls whispering from inside. Shane looped around Hell Hall giving me the full tour of the kids' level. Surprisingly, most of the children were still awake – as Shane had warned me.

"I won't introduce you to them tonight," he stated. "They wouldn't remember you come morning and I would have to introduce you to them all over again."

"Oh the pain and agony of it all," I complained jokingly.

He pushed me slightly and smiled. He took a turn and wandered back up the stairs. I followed, my eyes landing on his butt. My face burned and I had to turn away. I needed help. He stopped suddenly and I unceremoniously ran into him. I didn't even notice we were off the stairs and standing in front of another door. Shane smiled and straightened me. "This is it."

"What is?" I asked glancing at the door like it was magical.

He opened the door and walked into the darkened room. He flipped a switch and light flooded the expansive room. Damn, not a magical room.

"My bedroom," he said simply, crossing over the shockingly bare floor to fall on his king size bed – just like the one in the guest room.

It took me a moment to realize where I was – Shane Gray's bedroom. Half the girl population would be so jealous of me right now, standing in the middle of Shane Gray's haven. There wasn't much to look at; his walls were bare save for one giant picture of a man in an air force uniform behind his bed. A desk in the corner held an outdated computer and monitor. A dresser sat against the left wall. The only thing that made it look like his room was the guitar and music stand resting against the right wall. Other than that, it was too clean. Definitely too clean for Shane. I fully expected posters of barely clothed girls covering most of his walls – no such luck there.

"What?" he asked curiously taking note of my astonished face.

"It's too clean," I said bluntly. "I never imagined you having a clean room."

He laughed softly. "You've imagined my room?" he asked coyly.

I glared at him which made him laugh harder.

"I'm just kidding. No one ever really comes into my room, besides my family. You should feel honored to be the first outsider."

I put my hand over my heart feigning adoration. "I'm so honored Mr. Gray to be allowed this special privilege," I said in the worst southern accent ever.

His eyes twinkled with laughter. "You ready to hear my story," he suggested leaning against the backboard.

I nodded eagerly.

"You can come sit with me. I won't bite I promise."

I hesitated. "Are you sure your Mom won't get mad for having a girl on your bed?"

"No, I'm not sure but it's not like we're doing anything were not supposed too. Now come on!" he exclaimed patting the space next to him.

I crawled onto his big bed and sat against the wall. Our feet were almost touching in the middle – yeah this wasn't going to be awkward at all.

"Where do you want me to start?"

"From the beginning of course," I said trying to relax.

Shane closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "Let me give you a little background information about my parents. My mother and father met her junior year, his senior year, in high school. They had an epic romance – according to my mother, her words exactly. They married as soon as my mother graduated high school and had me less than a year later. I can't say I was exactly expected or planned," he grinned adorably running his fingers through his unruly hair nervously.

I smiled wondering how his hair felt. I shook my head ridding myself of that ridiculous thought and focused on the rest of his story.

"It was always my father's dream to be in the army. His dad was in the army and his dad before that was in some part of the army. You see the picture; he wanted to be in the Gray family legacy." As he said that my own thoughts went haywire. Since his father and all the men in his family were in the army does that mean he was contemplating joining up after high school? That left me with a stale taste in my mouth. Then I stopped myself. We're not even dating; we're not even close to be dating. I don't even know if he likes me. Stopping now…

"So he enlisted in the air force when I was around a year old. For a while it was just moving from base to base, endless training. It wasn't until I was five that he was called over to Afghanistan. He would be gone for months to years at a time. This was our life for fourteen years. It wasn't as bad as it may sound. I had limited time with my dad but it meant the time we spent together was more precious and meaningful. Three years ago, Dad left on another mission like any other time before. We were prepared for the treacherously long time we would go without seeing him."

"I think it was two days after Dad had shipped out that Mom found out she was pregnant with Keavy Rae. Dad never even knew about her. The day after Mom found out the people showed up at our door. They told us Dad's plane had been shot down over Iran; there were no survivors," he choked out. "They never even found his body."

Somehow during his story I'd moved from the wall to snuggling – well I wish – next to him. Shane played with my fingers as he continued. "Mom had a really tough pregnancy and Keavy Rae was born three months premature. That left her with five children all under the age of ten, except me. I was fourteen and now the oldest man in the house. After a year of trying to live on our own we moved in here with Nate's family."

"I grew up quicker than most fourteen year old boys did. I took care of the children during the summer while our mom's worked. Nate's dad is a CEO of some big company and is rarely home. Nate's mom is the one that's pregnant, if you didn't get that already. Nate and I took it upon ourselves to help raise our brothers and sisters."

"Then last year, another tragedy shook our family. Jason's dad, Arnold, was driving home from work one night. He was driving along like any other night, and out of nowhere he was hit by an erratic semi. The driver had lost control going around a corner and slammed head-on into Arnold's car. The car was no match for the semi. He died at the scene."

"Julie moved into the house, and we all worked together to take care of the kids. Jason, Nate, and I are the oldest of our families, and therefore we dubbed ourselves the permanent caretakers. We helped out as much as we could. If you couldn't tell, Julie is still taking it really hard. She hasn't made much progress from the time that Arnold passed. She's been so depressed that sometimes she barely ever eats or talks."

I sat there silently taking in his whole story. I'd never expected so see Shane so vulnerable and young looking. "I understand now," I said drawing his eyes to me for the first time. "I understand why you were so closed off, and why you may lash out sometimes. You've gone through a whole lot and it's only expected."

"But Jason and Nate never act the way I do," he replied softly, regret dripping from his words.

"Everyone grieves differently," I told him capturing his other hand in mine. "All that matters is that you're realizing and changing who you are for the better. I think most people would be pleasantly surprised to see how you act at home."

"Yeah, I want to change. I don't want to be the guy everyone remembers as an asshole," he said. "I want to make Mom, and Dad, proud."

The sadness was so evident in his body that I just wanted to draw him close and never let go. I wished I could suck all the pain from him. People never deserve to lose a loved one. I don't know what I would do if I lost my mom.

"So that's my story," he finished lamely trying to crack a smile. "Want to share yours now?"

"I think we've had enough depressing story time for one night."

"Will you think about it?"

I noted the plead in his voice. "I'll think about it."

Hollace burst into his room carrying a rag doll and a blue baby blanket. "Mimi, thweepy time! Thop talking to Thane. He boring."

I smiled at her wondering if we looked awkward to her in her four year old mind. I dropped his hand abruptly at that thought. He made a tisk of disapproval which made my smile widen.

"You didn't have to stop holding my hand because Hollace came in," he breathed jumping off the bed and tackling Hollace.

His breath lingered on my ear warming me to the core.

"Come on Mo-Mo," he called from the hallway.

I ran out to the pair and quickly caught up with them slipping my arm through Shane's vacant one. He didn't have to turn for me to see his smile widen exponentially.

"Tuck in!" Hollace proclaimed squirming in Shane's arms.

Shane tossed Hollace onto the bed; she giggled madly. I crept into bed next to her exhaustion settling in. Shane tucked the covers under her small body leaving her looking like a mummy.

"Thane no move!" cried Hollace unsuccessfully trying to loosen the vice like covers.

He finally gave in and loosened the covers allowing her to wiggle freely. She snuggled up to my side and yawned widely. "Thank you Thane. I love you."

"I love you too," he said smiling, his mesmerizing eyes landing on me.

"Shanie are you going to tuck me in too?" I asked childishly messing up the blankets.

Moving to my side, he tucked the covers under my body hesitantly – almost afraid to touch me. He bent down towards me, his hand lingering on my cheek. Spurts of heat melted away my skin.

"You're getting better at this," he whispered tracing patterns on my cheek.

I smiled shyly. "Good night Shane."

"Good night Mo-Mo," he breathed placing an unexpected kiss on my forehead. "Sweet dreams."

Oh, he has no idea.

* * *

"Mimi, you like Thane?" Hollace asked tiredly, yawning for the fifth time in a row.

I chuckled at her bluntness. "I do. He's a very good friend of mine."

"Not what I mean," she said, her bright blue eyes drooping.

"What did you mean?" I asked yawning – damn contagious yawns.

Hollace snuggled even closer to my side. "You like like Thane?"

I smiled sweetly. "I don't know Ace," I said after awhile of contemplation – Ace was her nickname for me and only me; she had informed me no one else is allowed to call her that. "He's a good friend. I don't know if I feel that way about him." Why was I lying to a four year old?

"You're lying," she giggled.

"How do you know?"

"You and Thane look eacth other thame Momma and Dadda do," she explained.

Thoughtfully I looked to the ceiling wondering if a sign would be written in the white plaster. "Well, I don't know. Maybe I do."

"I hope you do," sighed Hollace sleepily. "Thane happy he know you."

I smiled; could it be possible to have a four year old best friend? I think I'm going to give it a shot.

"Maybe," I said softly. "Let's get to bed Ace. Maybe in the morning we can play in the snow."

She squealed excitedly before quickly drifting to sleep. I lay awake for a long time after Hollace succumbed to dream land. I was practically wide awake… just thinking. This was my least favorite time ever – nights where I couldn't sleep and everything possible ran through my mind. Thinking about everything wasn't always a good thing either. My thoughts mainly fell on the bad ones which somehow depressed me even more.

Tonight, though, my thoughts ranged from Shane doing a complete three sixty back to my impossible father – I hated calling him that, but there was no other term to call him. A frown settled on my face just thinking about _him_. Thumps of anger slowly started to work its way through me. I couldn't stand him. Why did he have to be so cruel, and then to go cheat on my mother like that? Who does he think he is? Doesn't he do enough to make our lives miserable already? I guess it wasn't enough.

Another sickening thought broke into my mind. Has he done this before? And if he has, how many other times? Unfortunately I knew the motive behind this, besides the fact that he was a bastard. He wanted a boy, and my mother couldn't give him what he wanted.

In a sense, I guess that is the reason why the beatings started so many years ago. I was the first born child to my parents and at the time they were as happy as peas and carrots. I think when I was about two they decided they wanted more kids. Nine months later, Mom gave birth to my baby brother, Matthew. Obviously I don't remember this, I was too young. Mom explained this story to me on my seventh birthday when all this started happening.

Matthew turned out to be a very sickly baby and had many problems with his heart that ended up taking his life four months later. Dad was torn up to the point of destruction; all he ever wanted was a boy to continue his line – apparently that's all that truly mattered to him. Mom and Dad tried many times after Matthew to have a baby, but once he found out they were girls he would beat Mom senseless until she had a miscarriage – terrible, I know.

After two more failed attempts for a boy, he gave up altogether – that's when the abuse really started, around my seventh birthday hence me learning all this from Mom. Up until that point, he had been like any other doting father: caring for me, playing games with me, tucking me in, loving me. All that drastically changed. It started out slow by him telling me how lucky I was to be born first, and that I would forever be in his debt since I wasn't a boy. He blamed my mother for not being able to produce a boy and blamed me for not being a boy. As a young child I didn't know what to think. One day Dad didn't love me anymore because I wasn't a boy. In my eyes I thought I needed to please him, so I started to dress like a boy just to please him – nothing ever worked though.

Emotional and mental abuse was what I endured for two whole years of my childhood. By the time I reached nine, he felt it was time for me to become a _woman_ – if you know what I mean. The real full-scale beatings didn't start until I was about eleven, twelve maybe. For weeks at a time I would miss school because I would either be unconscious or my body wasn't strong enough.

I experienced so much depression and neglect from the tender age of seven; I sometimes don't understand how I am the person that I am today. I think befriending Caitlyn when I was ten opened up a whole new world for me I never knew: friendship. When I finally told her everything, I felt humbled and okay – if that makes any sense. I know I can trust Caitlyn with my secret though, she swore she would never tell anyone. Although I know she would never tell, I worry sometimes that people will find out.

I stifled a yawn. I needed to stop thinking about this; it riled me up and I needed sleep.

Easily, I changed my thoughts to the only other thing that could keep me occupied for more than five minutes – Shane. I sighed, feeling confused. Maybe Hollace was right. Maybe I did like Shane. Psht, who am I kidding, of course I liked him! Who in their right mind wouldn't like him? I mean, the new Shane or whatever he is now. Not that people didn't like him before, it's just now he's so much better and I'm rambling and I need to stop. I just don't know if I'm ready for him, for what being with him would bring into my life: protection, something solid in my life, something I've never really had before.

I shook my head slightly, cuddling the pillow closer to me. Hollace grunted quietly and turned to face me. Her small eyes opened drearily and she said, "Go thleep Mimi. Thop think bout Thane."

Her eyelids drooped, and she was out. I rolled my eyes – even in her half-sleep state Hollace never ceased to amaze me.

* * *

"Mimi up! Mimi up!" chanted Hollace while jumping erratically on the bed. "Look, look, look! Thnow, outhide!"

I groaned grumpily pulling the covers over my face. "It's too early."

"Mimi promithed play in thnow!" she whine grabbing at the covers using all her might to pry them off me.

"Why don't you go wake up Shane?" I demanded more than questioned, rolling away from her.

"He here!" Hollace informed excitedly pointing toward the door.

"What?" I exclaimed bolting upright. I probably look terrible, no I know I look terrible, what was he thinking barging in on a girl while she's still asleep?! Apparently he wasn't thinking at all.

"Juth kiddin'," giggled Hollace bouncing off the bed knowing all too well I was planning on chasing her.

The small brunette raced out of the room, and I, being as childish as she is, followed her yelling, "Ace! You're a little sneak! Come back-"

I collided with an open door, or something that felt very close to a door. "Oof!" I moaned from my spot on the floor.

"Why are we always running into each other?" Shane laughed helping me up.

I grinned goofily – very attractive. "I don't know, but it hurts an awful lot."

"Did I hurt you again?" he asked worriedly real fear in his eyes.

I shook my head with a laugh. "I'm okay stop worrying."

"Good," he said letting out his breath. "How did you sleep?"

"Good, very good actually," I said remembering a certain dark haired boy plaguing my dreams.

Shane reached up subconsciously and brushed a piece of hair out of my eyes. Over his shoulder I saw Hollace poke her head out of a room, a wicked smile on her precious face. I pretended to lunge at her. She shrieked and scurried down the hallway, her feet clambering down the stairs.

"Hollace," I told a confused Shane.

"She's a handful."

I nodded. "Yeah, but she's adorable and apparently very observant."

Shane smiled in that way that made my mind go blank for a moment. "You ready to go meet the rest of the family?"

"I guess it's now or never."

* * *

The actual number of children in Shane's family never really dawned on me until I saw them at breakfast this morning – all thirteen of them plus parents. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that so many people actually lived here without killing each other. Shane informed me though that they do have their share of fights like any other family. He wasn't completely perfect – sigh.

The kitchen looked entirely different from what I saw of it last night. Children were in every corner imaginable. I scanned the room for my older friends but they seemed to be absent in the horde. An older man caught my eye. He was Mark Black, Nate's father. He held a strong resemblance to Nate; the curly dark hair, the soft baby features, the lankiness. The only thing different were the eyes; his were a dark, dark brown.

He flipped pancakes and French toast on the large grill taking over a good portion of the island. While he did that he also kept an eye on the sausage and bacon simmering on the stove – a man that could multitask. I was actually surprised to see him here, since Shane told me he was usually gone for work.

The three sisters bustled around the room, all at different paces, helping out their children and the other children alike. Stacey spotted us and made a beeline toward Shane and me.

"How was your sleep? Hollace didn't talk your ear off did she?"

"No, she was great," I laughed. "I slept very well though thank you."

"Breakfast is kind of a free-for-all. Grab what you want when you see it otherwise it might not be there when you come back," she advised giving me a hug – unexpected. "It's so good to have you here. I can't tell you enough."

"Thank you so much for letting me stay, but I can't intrude on breakfast. I was going to head back home."

"Not in this weather you're not," she proclaimed. "We're snowed in!"

My eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yup, now eat! Shane will show you around," she said pulling me off to the side away from Shane. "I also wanted to thank you for making my son come to his senses. I haven't seen him this happy since –"

I knew what she was talking about. "I don't know what I did, if I did anything really. But thank you anyway."

Stacey smiled warmly. "You have no idea. Now eat before it's all gone."

She hurried along to scold someone for eating out of the serving bowl. Shane sauntered up to me and said, "I think she likes you, and believe me that's hard to do. Caitlyn is still in hot water with them."

"Yeah, Laurie mentioned something about that yesterday," I said. "Why don't they like her?"

"Let's just say she didn't make the best first impression," smiled Shane knowingly – I hated when he knew something I didn't know. "Come on I'll introduce you to the clan."

"The clan?" I wondered laughing.

"It's a little nickname we made ourselves. Clever isn't it?"

I rolled my eyes as he dragged me directly into the throng. We stopped at the main table and he introduced me to everyone present. I met his sister Rylee, Jason's brothers Jacob and James, and Nate's sister Libba. He also told me that Hollace was Nate's youngest sister that is until Laurie had the next baby, and Bryden was his brother, and Jensen was Jason's sister.

"Basically, if you meet a kid with a J name its Jason's family," he explained to me hoping all this knowledge with sink in eventually.

I nodded and we moved away from the table. Breakfast was chaotic. Shane snatched a plate away from his brother Bryden and handed it to me. I scolded him but he laughed. He told me to grab whatever I wanted quickly. I obliged not knowing how hungry I was. Soon my plate was filled high with French toast, bacon, fruit salad, and scrambled eggs. Shane led me to a separate room where I finally found Jason, Nate, and a younger boy already eating.

"Hey Mitch," Jason and Nate greeted together.

The other boy glanced up, almost dropping his fork when he saw me. Shane chuckled. "This is my brother Porter. He already has taken a fancy to you."

"Nice to meet you," I said sitting across from him.

His cheeks burned bright red. "Thanks Shane, your way cool," he spat fleeing from the embarrassment.

I glared at Shane. "What did we talk about? You are supposed to be nicer, that was a major step back."

"It's my little brother, it doesn't apply to him," he said nonchalantly, sitting next to me.

"You can still be nice."

Jason intervened. "Did you have a good sleep Mitch?"

"Yeah, Hollace and I snuggled all night."

"She's so weird," laughed Nate.

"I think she's cute."

Jason smiled. "You like our big happy family? Have you met everyone?"

I shrugged trying to recall all the faces I met this morning. "I honestly have no idea."

"I don't think you've met Keavy Rae," said Shane rising to his feet. "I'll go get her."

"Keavy Rae?" I asked the other two once he was gone.

"Shane's youngest sister," Nate said. "Shane acts like she's his daughter. She only let's Stacey and Shane hold her. Very picky that child."

"She is two years old though," Jason confirmed sadly. "She doesn't look it at all."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You will see."

I nodded and turned to Nate. "Have you talked to Caitlyn today?"

"Yeah," he said, instantly perking up. "She was supposed to come over when she got home but she's still in Kent. This blizzard stranded everyone."

The mention of snow lifted my spirits. I couldn't wait to go outside.

"Here's Keavy Rae," announced Shane walking back into the room with a little girl who looked no older than twelve months. Her long raven hair flowed down her small back ending inches before it hit the floor. Her big blue eyes peered down at me curiously. She looked too delicate to handle – like a China doll. "Keavy Rae, this is my f-friend Mitchie," stated Shane stumbling over the word friend. My mind told me he wanted to say something other than friend – but hey, my mind is always making stuff up like that.

"Hey Keavy Rae," I cooed.

She reached her thin arms out to me. Shock and astonishment filled the faces of the boys as she bent down toward me, her angelic face protruding into a pout. I plucked her Shane's protective grasp much to the bewilderment of Shane. I tucked her head underneath my chin letting my hand follow the flow of her hair. She cooed contentedly.

"You are amazing," Shane breathed, his eyes showing admiration. "She never lets anyone else hold her but me."

I juggled her playfully causing her to erupt in that adorable cackle only little kids can pull off. "I guess you're not all that after all," I told him mockingly, sticking my tongue out at Keavy Rae.

He frowned sadly acting as if I'd stolen his own child away from him; I guess in a sense I had.

"Shane, stop looking so sad," I reprimanded, pouting at his sadness.

"I know, I'm sorry," he said. "I'm just not used to having to share her."

"Want her back?" I asked holding Keavy Rae out for him.

"No," he smiled. "She needs to become more social anyway."

I smiled at him, our eyes holding each others for longer than usual. "Snow! Snow!" cried Keavy Rae, stretching towards the window.

I set her on the floor and watched her small body power-crawl towards the French doors. "You want to go play in the snow?" I asked her lying next to the baby.

"Yeah, yeah!" she yelled, her bottom bouncing up and down.

I looked to Shane. His smile said it all. "Let's go play in the snow!" I exclaimed.

**

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yeahh the whole family!! soo i have a question for you all! the next chapter... im planning on having the family in for just a little bit. but would you like to get to know them a little more? like me explain more of mitchies stay there? or stop it after they play in the snow like i planned? your input would be amazing! tell me what you think or would like to know. :) and thanks for reading it loves. this time i say brownie bites are up for grabs. i just had a handful... they were delicious!! thanks again. :)**


	10. Best of Me

**listen here homeslices. you all are the best freaking reviewers in the entire history of reviewers!! you hit past 100 and thats just amazing to me. like i seriously dont think you understand how much it means to me. :) massive amounts of cookies, pie, and whatever else i said for everyone!! yes everyone wooo!!**

**ive felt so bad since i havent updated in a couple days and i really hadnt written anything either. school is just sooo uggh! come on its my senior year and they want to load us down with homework when there is barely three months of school left. gosh, lame. and softball is kicking my bootay right now too. but thats okay. because i stayed up way passed my bedtime just to bring you all this lovely story. kudos to me!!**

**now, this isnt my favorite chapter. i feel like i say that about alot of chapters. but its true. i decided to write a chapter on the family. just because i love to write them. they are all just so interesting. and hopefully not confusing anymore. but if so... askkk. and i know you all are dying for mitchie to tell shane. and its coming and im pretty sure i have an idea of when and how. but i can tell you it will be a couple chapters unless i really wanna bring it up soon. so just sit back and enjoy all fluff. :)**

**other than that. i must be getting to bed. dang softball game tomorrow and its already passed twelve here. i wanna dedicate this chapter to all my fans cause you rock! and to my boyfriend for putting up with my craziness with this story. hes very understanding. :) alright guys. you know the drill.**

**i dont own camp rock or anything that sounds familiar. i dont own the starting line. i love that song. and i dont own any other songs in this chapter. i do, however, claim that family. ENJOY!**

**

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Chapter Ten: Best Of Me**

_**Tell me what you thought about**_

_**When you were gone and so alone**_

_**The worst is over you can have the best of me**_

_**We got older but were still young**_

_**We never grew out of this feeling **_

_**That we won't give up**_

**Best Of Me: The Starting Line**

Stepping outside into the snow for the first time brought a rush of memories back to me from my own childhood – it seemed so long ago now. It was the winter of my sixth birthday that stuck out most to me. I remember Mom and me running around in the snow for hours building ridiculous looking snowmen and flopping around in the snow pretending we were animals. Even he was playing around with us. That was before everything bad happened. That was when I was still a child, or at least that was when I was still allowed to be a child. As I remember now, those memories of that winter were probably the last happy ones of my childhood.

A sad smile possessed my face as I continued to fall into the midst of memories passed. There was never going to be happiness like that ever again – not in my family. I glanced around at all the little kids getting ready to go outside and play. Emptiness surrounded me. I was never going to be like them. I never was like them to begin with. I was stripped of my childhood and everything I was supposed to get out of it. I would never have that childish nature ever again.

I shook off the major self-pity party I was playing for myself and did something useful: help the mom's get all the children ready to go outside.

The process of bundling up all the children lasted nearly half an hour. Once they were all prepared for the cold, their excited faces lit up even more once their eyes hit the snow. The fresh powdered snow covered everything in the backyard to a point where you could barely see the play set.

The first victim to the snow was little Bryden. He couldn't contain his excitement and just had to be the first in the snow, so he ran off the deck, which turned out to be a little bit slippery, and slipped on the top step and tumbled down into the pile of snow. He cried for about .52 seconds and was over it and jumping on his older brother Porter, trying to knock him over too.

Needless to say, I was very entertained for most of our afternoon snow adventure. I tended to drift back from the family just to watch them all interact with each other. I quickly discovered Libba and Rylee mostly kept to themselves playing in their own world of pretend. Bryden and James tagged along with the older boys like Porter and Jacob while the little girls Jensen, Hollace, and Keavy Rae were in everyone's business always fussing at a brother or a sister.

The older boys, the real older ones, and I watched from the sidelines. Shane was the first one to jump in and chase his siblings and cousins with handfuls of snowballs bringing on a full out snowball war. This happened many times throughout the afternoon. Temporary barriers and makeshift trenches were built in the backyard, and without having picked, people had peeled off into two separate teams. It was like an unspoken understanding of who was going to be on which team. I, of course, was drafted with Hollace. She practically dragged me all the way to her barrier.

"Mimi, jutht hit boyth!" she cried excitedly, her small hands crushing snow into perfect balls.

I looked around to see my other teammates – all the girls hid behind the mounds of snow. Oh, so this is how they split up, girls versus guys, very appropriate. I smiled to myself – this was going to be interesting.

"Mitchie, you take that side," called Rylee pointing to the left. "Libba and Hollace are going to go with you. Keavy Rae and Jensen will come with me. We're going to need to organize first though."

I rolled on my back and landed at Rylee's feet – half surprised that Rylee was even talking to me. "How many snowballs do you think we need to make Captain?"

Rylee giggled appreciatively – score one for Mitchie in the make-everyone-like-me game. "At least a hundred. Can we do that?"

I laughed. "We can try our hardest!" I yelled diving back behind my mound where Libba and Hollace were already stationed. "You heard the Captain, a hundred snowballs!"

The three of us moved swiftly and efficiently. It took less time than I thought to cleanly make a hundred snowballs by ourselves. We called out to Rylee that we were ready. She motioned for us to be quiet; she was listening for the boys. They had been quiet for too long.

Hollace giggled cutely at my feet. "Can we throw yet?"

"Not yet," I told her shaking my head. "We have to wait for Rylee to give us the sign."

She nodded preparing herself with a snowball in each hand. Libba even started to warm up to me. "You're really pretty Mitchie," she said shyly, tucking her head down, "and funny."

"Thank you. You're very pretty too. I wish I had hair like you," I told the blond girl. "Mine is just so blah and icky."

This earned a laugh from her – score two for me! I was too good at making friends with younger kids – was that a problem? I hoped it wasn't.

"Mitchie!" Rylee hissed across the yard. "Be ready for anything. The boys don't usually play by the rules."

I saluted her. "Just tell us when to fire, Captain! We are ready for anything."

The girls took turns peeking over the mounds. Little Keavy Rae sat in the snow looking like a puffy pink marshmallow mashing her hands into the snowballs the girls had already made. Rylee scolded the young girl sharply. Keavy Rae let out a cry, and I shook my head – sisters.

Hollace tugged on my arm. "Can we throw yet?"

Rylee motioned her arm across the yard and I nodded. "It's go time girls."

This was how we spent a good two hours: throwing snowballs at each other, taking a break while we made snowmen and snow angels, and then the snowball war would start up again. We girls had successfully beaten the boys the first time. The second war ended abruptly due to the fact James pummeled a huge snowball at Jensen's face – very intently I must add.

"Shane!" cried Jensen, her eyes all red and puffy. "Look what James did!" Her tiny fingers pointed at her twin accusingly.

"James," Shane said using on his best scolding voice. "You know better than to do that to your sister, your twin at that! You know what they say don't you?"

"What?" James squeaked his eyes widening fearfully.

"When one thing happens to one twin the same thing happens to the other," said Shane nodding to Jensen.

James didn't have time to react. Jensen threw all the snow her little arms could carry at her twins face. She squealed excitedly and ran for cover behind a mound. James took off after her arms flailing angrily.

"You're so good with kids," I laughed sidling up to his side. "It's kind of a turn on."

"Hm, so I turn you on?" he asked suggestively, his eyes changing emotions.

"Did I say that out loud?" I asked innocently, quickly formulating a plan.

Shane took a step closer to me, a fire lit behind his eyes. "I think you did."

I stepped even closer, being way more forward than I've ever been in my entire sixteen years of life. "I did, but you didn't expect this," I called shoving him playfully down to the blanket of snow underneath us.

He realized what I was doing halfway through my push and latched himself onto my arm pulling me to the ground on top of him – yes on top of him. A cloud of powder erupted around us. I barely noticed our position since we were laughing too hard to notice anything. I laughed until tears sprung out of my eyes. We calmed after a good five minutes of laughing. I made to stand up once I noticed the awkward, very awkward position we were in but Shane kept a hold on me. It was impossible for me not to look at him. All my focus was on him: on his appealing eyes dancing with unprecedented laughter, on his beautiful hair now covered with flakes of snow, on his lips moving closer to mine – what! I tightened up inside, unsure if I would be able to keep cool.

"LUNCH!" shouted Stacey from the deck, clanging a huge iron bell that hung on the side of the house.

Our faces froze inches apart. His breath tickled my nose, a fresh minty scent filling my already dizzy brain. My eyes searched his frantically looking for some answer, although I didn't even know the question.

"Lunch!" Stacey called again.

"Come on," Hollace said appearing by our faces. "What you doing there?"

I rolled off Shane and popped up suddenly out of breath. I grabbed Hollace's hand, and we raced each other back to the house. "Nothing Ace, we were just playing," I told her glancing back to Shane.

He was still laid out on the snow an exasperated look on his stunning face. I smiled to myself. I was getting in his head.

* * *

"Lunch is as much if more unorganized as breakfast," Stacey informed me once I finally stripped myself of the wet clothes. "I would love it if you sat with us for lunch. Mark has been dying to talk to you."

Mark? Mark as in Nate's father. Why in the world would he want to talk to me?

I guess Stacey detected the worry in my face because she said, "It's nothing bad. He just wants to get to know you and thank you."

"Why does everyone keep thanking me?" I asked, bewildered.

Stacey just smiled. "You will never understand, but believe me, it's a good thing. Now come on, let's get you some food."

Stacey whisked me away to the counter which only a few hours ago was laden with breakfast. Now, bread and sliced meat and cheese decorated the counter. My stomach growled at the delicious sight, I didn't think playing in the snow would take so much out of me. Stacey handed me a plate and left me to fend for myself. Not but seconds later a pair of hands grabbed onto my waist. His sweet voice filled me ear. "You didn't have to spring up like that. I was mighty comfortable."

Heat rushed to my cheeks and neck. He was going to need to move away very quickly before I fainted from the closeness. He sensed my discomfort and chuckled, squeezing my sides. I yelped and jumped away from him.

A smile so incredibly heart stopping graced his face. Every word I wanted to say was quickly lost in his smile. My eyes swam distractedly. He seriously needed to move, like now. I don't think he understood what he was doing to me. Or maybe he did and he just didn't want to do anything about it – what an ass!

"Your mom said Mark wants to meet me," I said thinking of the first thing that made sense. "What's that about?"

His smile didn't disappear as I thought it would. "Mark likes to make himself out to be the head father of the clan here. He likes to meet who we bring home. Don't be afraid, he's not intimidating whatsoever. He will love you anyway."

I smiled uncertainly, nerves jumping around. I tried to distract myself, from Shane and the daunting idea of meeting Mark, by taking a long time to decide between ham or turkey. Which was completely ridiculous anyway since I despised ham. Angry at myself for letting both get to me, I grabbed at the turkey and slightly huffed away to the cheese – classy right.

Hollace pranced up to me, a potato chip in her hand. "Mimi, thit wifth me?"

"The grownups asked me to sit with them," I told her sadly. "I will sit with you next time."

"Okay," she said dejectedly, walking back to the table to sit by herself.

My heart broke at the sight of her slouched shoulders. Damn grownups for wanting me to sit with them and leave a disheartened four year old all by herself.

Shane beckoned me over to him. "We're sitting in the room we ate in earlier."

I grinned cheekily walking passed him to the room. All the parents were already seated around the table, half eaten plates in front of all of them. Nate and Jason walked up behind me and took a seat with their parents. Having them present calmed my nervous stomach. Shane paused behind me letting his hand graze over my lower back. Great, just when I was becoming calmed.

Stacey pulled out a seat next to her and motioned for me. I set my plate down and lowered myself into the pit of parents. All their heads turned to me – yeah, they weren't making this any easier on the nerves. I felt the weight of every single one of them inspecting me. I wanted to yell at them that I wasn't a piece of meat!

Mark spoke first in a deep gruff. "I don't think we've formally met. I'm Mark Black, and you must be the ever-famous Mitchie Torres."

Shane rolled his eyes while his cousins laughed silently. I grinned crookedly. "Hi, it's really wonderful to meet you too."

"The boys have told us so much about you," he said, his eyes piercing me almost scarily. "I feel like I already know you."

"Well I hope they didn't tell you too much bad stuff," I laughed nervously.

Mark boomed with laughter. "They did tell us you received the lead in the musical, and that you have one hell of a voice."

"I'm not that good," I said meekly.

"And they said you are very modest," he said. "I don't know if the boys warned you or not, but we are a very musical family and its customary for new members to entertain the family with some music."

I almost dropped the grape I was holding. He expected every new person that came to this house to perform for him? Yeah, that wasn't intimidating whatsoever. I discreetly glared at Shane hoping he knew I was very angry with him.

"Dad," groaned Nate.

Shane leaned over, completely ignoring the fact that I was mad at him, and whispered in my ear, "That's where Caitlyn lost them. She couldn't do a performance."

I gawked at him. They didn't like Caitlyn because she couldn't sing? That was absolutely ridiculous, maybe these people weren't as cool as I thought they were.

"That's not the only reason," whispered Shane noticing my thoughts. "Laurie happened to walk in on them, let's say, doing a little too much for her liking."

"I'll try to remember that," I told him, not feeling any better.

"So Mitchie, what would you like to share with us today?" asked Mark, casually leaning back in the chair.

Nate hung his head. "You don't have to do anything he says Mitchie. He just likes to scare all the new people away," he said glaring at his father angrily – whoa, can you say bitter still?

"No, it's okay," I said firmly, I wasn't going to let this guy intimidate me. "I can sing for them."

Stacey clucked disapprovingly. "Dear, you've barely touched your food. Mark can wait until you're done eating to do this stupid thing."

"I'm still very full from breakfast earlier," I lied popping a green grape into my mouth. "Do you have a piano?"

Shane scoffed. "Do we have a piano? That's a ridiculous question to ask, of course we have a piano," he said rising. "Follow me, it's in the other room."

I followed Shane through the hall with a scowl on my face. We entered a room I hadn't noticed before. A beautiful black grand piano sat in the middle of the room taking up a good amount of space. It gleamed beautifully at me just begging me to play. Other various instruments were strewn around the room; a guitar in the corner, a bass next to it, an electric keyboard, and even a full set of drums along with other random instruments.

Shane pulled me close to him. "You know you don't have to do this. This is really just a test Mark always likes to use on the newbie's to see how much confidence you have. He likes that in people."

"I'm still mad at you," I stated, crossing my arms over my chest.

"For what?" he asked.

"Telling me he wasn't intimidating."

He shrugged guiltily. "I didn't want to tell you and you get even more freaked out. It's really not as bad as you think."

I continued to glare at him, just to make sure he knew I was mad – but I really wasn't that mad. "So he does this to everyone?" I finally asked striding over to the piano, practically mesmerized by the beauty.

"Yup, Caitlyn choked."

"What about Tess?"

He frowned. "She passed with flying colors."

"Great, that gives me a lot to try and live up to," I sighed sitting down and resting my fingers against the pearly white keys – they were so smooth and perfect.

"You, Mitchie Torres, are so much better than Tess will ever be," Shane said kneeling in front of my face.

"Why?" I asked suddenly overcome with too much closeness.

"Because, you sing with heart, something Tess will never have. Your music speaks to people, it means something. It's not just a bunch of words thrown together with some music," he ranted passionately. "Your music is so good I can't even tell you how much it moves me. I know you will blow my family away. They don't know what they have in store for them."

"Wait, family?" I wondered curiously.

Feet shuffling and hushed voices soon filled the room quickly followed by the actual bodies, answering my question. I counted quickly; every single person in this house was in this room. Yeah, no pressure at all Mitchie, the whole clan is here to watch you suffer and die – wonderful.

"Don't be nervous," said Shane backing away but I caught his arm.

"You aren't going anywhere," I whispered at him angrily. "You are going to sit here by me because it's your fault they even know I can sing."

Shane rolled his eyes at my melodramaticness but obliged my request. Just having him by my side gave me a small boost of confidence.

"Everyone's here Mitchie," stated Mark bluntly. I didn't know if I liked him or not yet – at the moment it was leaning towards the not.

Little feet tapped against the hardwood floor. Hollace appeared on my other side beaming. She sat down on the floor at my feet, folded her hands in her lap, and waited. I shook my head – oh Ace.

"You okay?" asked Shane.

I nodded under the weight off too many eyes – even more nervous now! I've sang in front of more people for the musical, I should be able to do this right? Why is this any different than then? I looked to the boy beside me and that said it all. Before I could have cared less what Shane Gray thought of me and my voice, but now… now I don't know. I shook my head trying to rid myself of all other thoughts other than my song.

My fingers rested on the chords of my first opening note. The anxious energy behind me tried to break through my concentration, but I wouldn't let it in. I was going to do this. I was going to show Shane's family I wasn't weak. I was going to show them who I was.

I pressed my fingers down emitting a clear ring – damn, this piano sounded even better than it looked. I let my fingers get used to the board before starting my song. The last thing I heard was Shane muttering, "I never knew you could play the piano."

I smiled and focused on the piano. Everyone else in the room left my thoughts in general, well all of them except for Shane. How could I forget him? His body heat was radiating off of him and sticking to me making it hot and hard for me to breathe.

Focus Mitchie, I told myself. I stared at my fingers ever though I didn't need too; it was something to keep my mind off him. My fingers moved effortlessly along the board – easier than the guitar.

I cleared my throat quietly. "Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark? To dream about a life, where you're the shining star. Even though it seems like it's too far away. I have to believe in myself, it's the only way," I sang softly not wanting to overpower the melody.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught Shane nodding along to the music. Somehow, this simple gesture empowered me even more. I started the chorus louder and more confident than before, "This is real, this is me. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now. Gonna let the light shine on me. Now I've found who I am. There's no way to hold it in. no more hiding who I wanna be. This is me," I finished holding out the last note.

I picked my hands off the piano and waited for criticism. "That's all I have so far," I began after too long of silence. "The words just popped in my head the other day, so I started writing out some music for it. I know it's still rough."

"Mitchie, stop," Shane said abruptly.

I did. His abruptness didn't even allow me chance of a comeback for his use of Mitchie.

"Thou good!" exclaimed Hollace from the floor clapping her hands excitedly. "More Mimi!"

Excited whispers broke out in the silent room. I looked to the only person I needed the confirmation from. His face, for the first time ever, spelled out everything he was feeling.

"Really?" I asked him, not taking my eyes off his face.

"Better than great," he said breathlessly.

Hollace's small body squeezed onto my lap and said, "Teach me!"

My eyes didn't stray from his. The over exaggerated applause didn't even phase me at that moment. The boy held my full attention whether I wanted him to or not. It was everything I could do to keep myself from tackling Shane and kissing him senseless right then and there. Wait, did I just say I want to kiss him senseless? I think I'm losing all of my sense.

A heavy hand fell onto my shoulder. I finally broke contact with him. Mark smiled down at me, a paternal gaze about him. "I think you're going to be staying around here for a very long time."

**

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wooo! a good bit of family time. i wont have the family in every chapter. that would be crazy! they will always be around though. and of course, thanks for getting to this point! i love you all a million times over and over again. keep on rocking with those reviews!!**


	11. Time to Dance

**every time i get a new review or alert i have a miniparty dance session by myself. so you can just imagine how many of those i have been having lately! you guys, i seriously. im just not even going to say it this time cause you know what i am going to say. ive said it enough the past eleven chapters. :) ive had a lot of time to myself this weekend which is really unusual. ha but im very grateful for it. i got a lot of writing done. and now i need to write even more! i have so many ideas bouncing in my head i cant keep them in there for much longer. they need to get out so i can tell you guys! haha**

**im glad you love the clan so much. and i wish i had a hollace. she is actually based off a kid i had to babysit once. and she was as adorable as hollace is. kids with lisps are my favorite. even if you can hardly understand them. caitlyn is back in this chapter! if you were wondering where the best friend was. :) hmm what else. i have some possible ways i might take this story. but i need to run it through my head first and then run it by you guys to see what you think. so i will be asking for your opinion sometime soon!**

**keep up the amazing stuff your already doing. the reason i update is so quick is because of you guys!**

**hereby i state i do not own camp rock or anything in it. i do not own panic at the disco. i do own everything else you dont know. like mitchies lime green shirt! its my favorite. :) here you gooo....**

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Chapter Eleven: Time to Dance**

_**Well, she's not bleeding on the floor**_

_**Just for the attention**_

_**Cause that's just ridiculous...ly odd**_

_**Well, she sure is going to get it**_

_**Here's the setting**_

_**Fashion magazines line the walls now**_

_**The walls line the bullet holes**_

**Time to Dance: Panic! At The Disco**

"Bye everyone!" I called for the last time, finally able to push through the throng of people and exit the lively house.

"Bye Mitchie!" shouted anyone who heard me say bye.

Shane chuckled to himself as he closed the door stifling the noises of his family. He opened my door allowing me to scoot up into the jeep. I laughed at him as he sprinted to his side of the car. A ray of sunlight poured down on me entrancing me in the wonderment of winter sunsets. A loud thud tore my eyes away from the sun and to the driver door – Shane was nowhere in sight.

I leaned across the middle section and saw him splayed out on the driveway. For an instant I worried about his wellbeing then broke into unsustainable laughter. I fell back into my seat as he crawled, snow covered and sopping wet, onto his seat. The dumbfounded look on his face trigged something inside me and I couldn't stop laughing.

He stared forward, a glare on his face. "I'm glad you think that's funny."

I wiped away the tears falling from my eyes. "You have no idea how funny it was," I said with bated breath. "You should have seen your face."

The engine roared to life, and he was still glaring all angry like.

"Oh, come on Shane," I laughed facing him completely. "You know it was funny, and you're just too embarrassed to admit it."

His lips twitched upward.

"Ha, see I knew it! You can't stay angry at me," I stated settling back into my seat. "Drive carefully though. I've seen you walk in snow, and I don't want the same thing to happen while you're driving."

"Funny," he growled making a face at me.

"I like to think I am," I said sarcastically.

Shaking his head at me, Shane tentatively turned the car out of his driveway and onto the slushy streets. At least the roads looked better than his driveway. We road in a comfortable silence, save for the soft music of Panic! At The Disco playing in the background – I've decided that Shane has the most random taste in music ever. I mean, I guess Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco are similar music genres, but honestly I never would have pegged him for a moody, brooding music lover.

"So, my family absolutely loves you," he said after _I Constantly Thank God For Esteban_ ended.

I glanced at him wondering what made him tell me that, so I asked him.

He shrugged keeping his eyes on the slush filled roads. "I was just thinking about it. You fit in perfectly with everyone. Mark really likes you, I can tell."

"How can you tell?" I wondered curious to know why he thought this.

"Well, for starters he barely pays attention to Caitlyn when she comes over. And today you had his undivided attention whenever you talked."

I thought back to the afternoon. After I played my song, Mark insisted I play some more songs. He took Shane's seat and sat by me while I played some made up melodies that were plaguing my mind constantly. He would listen and tweak any note he thought would sound better at parts – he was almost always right. As I didn't have many of my own songs I played other pieces I remembered from when I was younger. At one point I sat back and watched Mark's fingers dance along the keyboard expertly and beautifully. Shane, Jason, and Nate each picked up an instrument in the room and played along with him. I thought Shane and Nate sang well together before, but when you add Mark and Jason it's just ridiculous. Like, you never imagine a whole family being that brilliant at singing and making music together – well I guess there are the exceptions like the Brady Bunch and the Partridge Family, but still!

It amazed me even more when all three sisters joined in. Julie, who I'd barely heard speak one word, sang the most beautifully among them. Her voice sounded like tinkling bells – perfection. Various brothers and sister added their own voices in from time to time. Hollace sat next to her dad and plunked keys down at odd times – this amused her greatly.

It also amazed me at how much this family got along and they all really liked each other and liked to be around one another. I couldn't get passed the fact that this many people could stay in one room for so long and not break out in fights – there was that one time with Keavy Rae and Bryden but it wasn't that important.

"Mo-Mo?" Shane's voice broke through my train of thought. "What are you thinking about?" he asked chuckling to himself.

"Your family," I admitted bashfully. "I just can't get passed the fact that so many people can live in one house without constant fights taking place."

"I'm getting the vibe that your family isn't as peaceful as ours can be at times," he laughed easily not knowing how true he was.

My smile faltered. "Yeah, I guess you could say that." My heart beat quickened dramatically, and I felt a nervous sweat break out on my forehead. Was this the time? Was I going to spill my whole story to him right now? Could I bring myself to actually get the words out? "Shane," I said suddenly.

He turned to me and cut the car off. "We're here."

I looked out the window and sure enough my painstakingly gloomy house sat before us. Unsuspectingly, I sighed. I didn't want to leave.

"What were you going to say?"

I shook my head, now was not that time. "Nothing," I said with a fake smile hoping he would buy it. "I just want to say thank you again for taking me in for the night and day. I had a really good time."

He absentmindedly played with his lanyard, smiling. "I really did too. Are you ready for musical practice tomorrow?"

"Oh yeah! I completely forgot about that. Of course I'm excited! I've never been in a musical or play of any sorts before."

"Don't be nervous," he said detecting the nervousness in my voice. "I know you will be amazing. At least I know you can sing. It's just the acting we might have to worry about."

I hit him. "Your forgetting – be nice!" I joked, my eyes falling on my house again. "I probably should get going. I've been gone long enough, and Mom is probably ready to send out a search party."

"Are you sure she's home?" he asked with concern, his own eyes scrutinizing the dark house.

"Yeah," I lied. "I talked to her a little while ago. Plus I have an essay I have been putting off that is due tomorrow. I really need to get that done."

He shook his head laughing. "Always a procrastinator."

I smiled my hand on the handle. "Thanks, again, for this weekend. Tell your family thank you and that I had a lot of fun. See you tomorrow."

"Wait," said Shane opening his own door. "I'll walk you to the door."

"No," I said a little too hurriedly. "It's okay, I can manage. Thanks for the offer though."

He smiled sadly settling back in his seat. "Oh, okay," he said with fake exasperation. "Have a good night, and get that essay done."

"Bye Shane," I said with a final smile.

I watched him back out of my driveway, my smile deflating along with my heart. I waited until the car was gone from sight before entering the house.

An intense smell of alcohol flared my senses as soon as I opened the door: he was home. I slinked along the wall until I reached the stairs. Once my foot hit the bottom step I raced upward, shot into my room, and softly shut the door behind me. My body relaxed when I was certain he hadn't heard me.

I fell on my bed, exhaustion overwhelming my body. I leaned on my side and brought my clock forward; it was only 6:14 – ugh! I moodily threw my arm over my eyes searching for the strength to get up and write my essay. Unfortunately it took a lot more motivation than I had. I dropped down in front of my computer and shook my sleeping monitor awake. I opened a blank word document and placed my hands over the keyboard – nothing happened.

All I could think about was Shane. He was invading my thought process so much I subconsciously typed _Shane Gray loves Mitchie Torres_ more times than necessary. Hastily, I deleted my proposed fantasy. Did I really wish he loved me? I mean, did he even like me in that way? Could you become that connected with someone in less than a week?

Thoughts of Shane were going to be immensely hard to shake off, but I tried. No matter how hard I tried Shane kept swimming back into my thoughts. I pulled my IPod out of my pocket and set the volume up to earsplitting levels – thinking that the loudness of the music would drown out my thoughts of Shane. I was wrong.

For a good half hour I managed to steer away from Shane and focus on my topic. In less than no time my fingers were whizzing across the keys producing probably the worst essay I've ever written. I was almost done with my concluding paragraph when a crash so loud and powerful sounded through my music. The crash shook my computer violently. I placed my hands on the monitor to steady it and glanced behind me.

"What was that?" I muttered saving my essay before turning off the computer and moving to the door.

I cracked it open, listening. Nothing but silence filled the house until…

"I know you're here girl!" he bellowed angrily, his feet stampeding up the stairs.

I closed the door not caring how loud it was. There was nothing I could do now. He knew I was home, and apparently he was in another one of those moods – just my luck. Eventually, he would find me if I liked it or not. Panic bubbled inside me. I was so screwed.

I only had time to back away from the door before he nearly broke it down in his rage. His beady half-closed eyes sought me out, finally landing on me in the corner. The anger practically jumped out of his eyeballs and latched onto me. With much determination, he crossed the room and one slap later I was already on the floor.

"Where were you last night?!" he growled standing over me forebodingly.

I knew better than to answer.

"I know you came home last night. I managed to see you just in time, riding off with a boy – with a boy!" he screeched kicking me in the side. I felt the tender cut break open along my hip bone. I grimaced not allowing myself to scream. "I thought I taught you better. I didn't teach you to be a whore and spend the night with some boy!"

Yeah, you didn't teach me that, you taught me how to have zero self-esteem and wonder why I was even living in the first place. You taught me to hate myself for something I never even did. Yeah, thanks dad, you've taught me so much. I wish I had the kahonies to actually say that to him.

I waited too long to answer him, so he struck another blow to my stomach. This brought tears to my eyes. I clutched my stomach feeling the warmth of blood trickle through my shirt.

"Wanna know how I know you spent the damn night with him?" he yelled throwing my yellow duffle bag at me hitting me square in the chest. "He dropped it off saying you left it in his car! I can't even explain how disgusted I am."

The worst part of this whole experience was that he wasn't even drunk – maybe a little buzzed but that was all. He had these temper tantrums, per say, where all he wanted to do was beat the crap out of objects or me in this instance. I guess you could say he had an issue with anger management, and his way of taking out aggression was on me.

"You will never see him again!" he roared hovering inches above my face. "I will see to it that you never do."

A malicious grin spread across his stubbly face; a new ferocity in his eyes that honest to God scared the hell out of me. As he stood there and threatened Shane I couldn't help but curl my fists up. He noticed this action and I received another blow to my chest. I doubled over in pain gasping for breath that wouldn't come.

"Where's Mom?" I managed to choke out.

"I took care of her earlier," he said devilishly – not good.

"What did you do to her?" I growled, finally finding my voice – about damn time too.

"No worse than what I'm about to do to you. Now sit back and enjoy the ride."

I cringed as he carelessly picked up my beaten and bloodied body. The last thing I remember was a devastatingly excruciating bash to the side of my face. A familiar blackness surrounded me.

* * *

I missed the next two days of school. Caitlyn about had an aneurism Monday morning when I wasn't present. In all truthfulness, I think she left me 72 text messages, 36 missed phone calls, and 21 frantic voice mails all before noon on Monday. The reason I didn't answer any of her messages was simple: I was still knocked out. Obviously I didn't tell Caitlyn this bit of information, she would have freaked out to the black hole and back. And I honestly couldn't handle a freaked out Caitlyn Gellar in my current condition.

Once I finally regained consciousness around 1:30 Monday afternoon I told her I had gotten sick and slept all night long. She believed me for the most part and didn't bother me for the rest of the day, although I had no doubt she was worried sick about me.

When I didn't come to school today, which is Tuesday, she became suspicious and insisted she come over and see how I was doing after school. Knowing my best friend all too well, I didn't argue with her on account she come alone – no secret surprise of Nate or Shane popping over with her, definitely no Shane. Oh Shane, I was trying to ignore all his worried texts pretending I never received them, but he was making it rather difficult to completely ignore him when he and Caity were blowing up my phone. It's not that I didn't wanted to talk to him, and damn did I want to talk to that boy so bad. I just thought if I cut off connections with him it would be easier to get over him. Then there was the other part of me that was being rebellious and going against what my father said, when had I ever really listened to him anyway? He wasn't going to be able to tell me who I could see or couldn't. As I thought about it he wasn't really a parental figure anyway, he couldn't control me. He could hurt me all he wanted, but nothing he did was going to stop me from seeing Shane.

Vibrations coming from my phone startled me out of my thoughts. I flipped it open expecting to see Caitlyn's name. Instead Shane's name glowed back at me practically taunting me.

_I can't stop thinking about you._

I cracked a smile for the first time in two days which was quite painful so I stopped. As I said before, Shane had been texting me nonstop for the past two days but mainly his texts were 'where are you?', 'are you okay?', 'what's wrong?'. Nothing like this new one. Before I could even open a reply box he texted me again.

_When can I see you?_

I frowned in spite the warm feeling his text gave me. There was no way I was letting him see me in this state. That would bring up questions I didn't want to have to answer yet. My fingers stopped mid-text as my door opened and a brunette flew through. Caitlyn planned on tackling me, I could see it in her eyes, but thought against it once she saw my condition.

"Mitchie," she half-gasped, half-moaned running over to the bed.

She hopped onto the vacant side of the bed and peered down at me with as much intent as a doctor would have examining his patients. I would have laughed at her antics if it didn't hurt so damn much. All of a sudden she slapped me.

"Ouch!" I proclaimed holding my arm close to me. "That was uncalled for!"

"Mitchie Leigh Torres you lied to me! I can't believe you! I'm your best friend for god's sake."

"I know, I'm sorry," I said hanging my head with shame. "I just didn't want you to worry."

Caitlyn glared. "I worry about you 24/7 no matter what, even if I know you are safe," my friend said keenly. "I will worry until I know you won't be hurt again."

"I'm sorry," I said simply.

She ignored me continuing with, "Tell me _exactly_ what happened, and I want to see them all."

So I told her – everything I could remember that is. I showed her all my visible wounds first which were my face mainly and a couple cuts and bruises on my arms and legs – nothing too major except for my face. My previous cut above my left eye looked insignificant compared to the whole right side of my face. My right eye looks like I lost a fight with a 25-lb barbell, and then rolled around in a briar patch. Three engravings were cut into my cheek; it looked almost like a fork was scratched over my face. Not to mention the massive bruise engulfing my entire cheek and part of my nose. Then there was my nose which I swore up and down and all around that it was broken.

"Mitch," sighed Caitlyn, her brown eyes glistening.

"Does my nose look broken?" I asked lightheartedly.

She touched my nose gently but to me it felt like another punch. "I would say yes but I honestly have no idea."

"Oh well, it will heal."

Caitlyn exhaled noisily. "I'm thinking we do this way too often."

"Do what?" I asked playing with the fraying fringe of my blanket.

"Me examine your wounds," she stated. "I think we need to mix it up some, like not getting hurt anymore so I won't have to worry."

I gave her a pointed look.

"I know, I know. It's complicated," she answered exasperatedly, falling back on a pillow.

"How has school been?"

Caitlyn rolled her eyes. "Boring. I've been practically stalked around the school by Shane for the past two days. Oh yeah! I completely forgot to tell you about Tess."

"What about Tess?" I wondered slowly.

"I think she's having post-breakup meltdown," she said using her gossip voice. "She didn't even come to school on Monday which was weird because she never misses school. But today during lunch she walked in and I could barely recognize her. She dyed her whole head black like jet black, like you wouldn't even have thought in a million years it was Tess Tyler under that hair. And her outfit Mitch, seriously you would have thought she bought it at Slut-R-Us. It was just absolutely ridiculous."

"How long did her and Shane date for?" I asked curiously.

"I think almost a year. I think that's why she is having such a hard time with it. It was really sudden and uncalled for I guess. But what can you say, you can't compete with Mitchie Torres!"

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

"I haven't even told you the best part yet," she continued excitedly. "So she came in at lunch and walked straight to Shane's table proceeding to yell awful, awful things."

"Like what?"

Caitlyn hesitated. "Your name was thrown around a couple times. Actually it was all she ranted about: how he chose you over her, how he threw away a year relationship on a freshman, how he lost the perfect girl, how he was going to pay for it one day – that was when it started to get scary. At first everyone was just like okay, a couple just broke up and their having a very public feud about it. But when Tess started saying she was going to make him pay for ruining her life, and she wouldn't rest until she had revenge, people got a little freaked out."

"No way," I gasped.

"Yes way, it got so bad that the teachers finally had to pull her out of the lunch room. If they would have been a second later I think she would have started swinging."

"I didn't know they had dated for that long," I said guiltily.

"It's not your fault," Caitlyn told me. "It's not like you went up to Shane and was like break up with Tess and date me. I personally think he just got fed up with her. She is a spoiled rotten bitch."

I nodded not being able to find the right words to say.

"Just watch your back for awhile until this whole Tess thing blows over," she advised. "I don't want you getting mixed up in their drama even though I know she is going to try to rope you into it. I'm sure her revenge mania won't last long."

"Yeah, I hope not."

"You will be fine," Caitlyn said. "Tess isn't dangerous anyway."

I nodded, thinking. "So, why was Shane following you around at school?"

Caitlyn huffed angrily. "Because he is beyond worried about you and wouldn't stop badgering me about you. He kept asking me if you were alright, if I'd talked to you, if you were coming back to school tomorrow, blahdi blahdi blah!"  
I chanced a small smile – damn it hurt! "Well, I don't really feel like showing up to school looking like this."

"It's not that bad," she said apprehensively. "I could fix you up for school. It's the physical pain I'm more worried about. Can you actually move?"

With my arms I pushed myself up into a sitting position and very carefully swung my legs over the edge of the bed. Bursts of pain shot up my left leg and exploded in my abdomen and spine. Falling back in agony, the pain had petrified me.

"I'm guessing that's a no," she said helping me to lay back down more comfortably. "Do you want me to get you anything? Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm good," I said through gritted teeth, pain still occupying every move I made.

Caitlyn shook her head, brunette curls bouncing in her face. "I wish I could make this all better. Why did you let it happen again?"

"I couldn't help it," I snapped at her and immediately took it back. "He barricaded himself in my room with me. There was no way I was getting out of here."

"You never told me why it happened."

I sighed. "Usually there isn't really a reason for this but there was this time. Shane dropped off my bag and it set him off."

A growl grew inside my friend. "So this all happened because Shane dropped off your bag, I could kill him right now. I really, really could."

"It's not like he knew any better. He probably thought he was doing a good thing. Plus, it would have happened anyway. He saw me the other night when I went home to get clothes. He knew I saw him with _her_."

"What do you mean?" she asked, her eyes confused.

I fixed my eyes on the ceiling fan looking at all the diminutive glow-in-the-dark stars I put up from a childhood long ago. "I saw him and another woman going at it."

Caitlyn's eyes flashed. "Is it not enough that he has to do this stuff to you, he has to cheat on your mom too? It makes me so angry and sickened. Mitchie, I'm begging you. Will you please come live with me?"

I've seen Caitlyn worked up before but never like this. There was a fire in her eyes that could kill. It was going to be hard to refuse her offer this time. She wasn't going to back down anytime soon.

"Caity," I began.

"Oh no, don't you Caity me," she said heatedly. "I don't care if you can't move, I will drag you over to my house all by myself if need be."

We stared at each other for the longest time. In my heart I wanted nothing more than to leave and live with Caitlyn forever. There was just no possible way I would ever truly escape him. Even if he ended up behind bars at one point, I would never escape him. Running away would give him the satisfaction of a job well done. He deserves no such satisfaction. If there's one thing I've learned from him it's that Torres' don't run. I was not going to run away like a coward.

"Don't make me have to use force Mitchie," tested Caitlyn sticking her arms underneath my body. "Cause I will."

I sunk away from her, my eyes pleading with hers to just drop it.

"At least stay at my house tonight," she sighed dejectedly.

"What about your parents?" I asked searching for any excuse.

Caitlyn's eyes blinked guiltily.

"You told them?" I proclaimed loudly – well louder than my usual hoarse whisper that is.

"They were suspicious from the beginning. They pretty much beat it out of me a couple weeks ago. I swear Mitch, they promised they will never," she stated upon seeing my frightened face. "Although they don't understand it either."

"They've known for weeks?" My mind still not able to get passed the fact that someone besides Caitlyn knew. "I just can't believe it."

"It's not the end of the world if people know Mitch," she tried to say soothingly. "People won't treat you any different. My parents don't."

"That's because they're your parents."

"Whatever, will you please just come over tonight? One night, that's all," she begged practically pleaded. "You need someone to clean you up."

Her reasoning was sound – as much as I hated to admit it. After much internal contemplation and conjuring up every way this plan was wrong, I finally said, "Okay, fine."

Caitlyn cheered clapping her hands together like a little kid. "I'll pack you a bag," she declared jumping off the bed. She paused turning back to me, a questionable look on her face. "Do you think you'll be able to come to school tomorrow?"

"Probably, I know I need too. I hate missing so much school," I groaned placing my feet on the floor again.

"We will see how you feel in the morning," Caitlyn said paternally. "We can even go in late so I can fix you up good. And be careful girl, I don't want you to hurt yourself even more."

My smile wavered tears working their way to the surface. "Thanks for this Caity, it means so much."

"Hey," she said walking over and placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "It's what best friends do."

* * *

Caitlyn's parents met us at the front door. She had called ahead to warn them I was coming over – they were overjoyed. Caitlyn's mom, Carmen hugged me the instant I was through the door.

"Uh honey," her dad, Owen, said awkwardly. "There's someone here for you."

Our eyes locked fearfully with one another's. Panic flared in my heart and body. There was nothing else to do as he walked around the corner. "Mitchie!?"

**

* * *

oooh. i love you guys. :\ cause i know your going to want to kill me now. but you cant kill me. then you wouldnt get anymore ECC. whoa. i never knew that was the acronymn for my story. haha cool.**

**WHOOOO IS IT!?**

**until next time. pahahahah.**


	12. Hello Beautiful

**my loooooves!!! since you all are just so persistent and wanting to know who its gonna be! im updating today to save you from all the angiush and turmoil your going through to try and figure it out. :) this is a shorter chapter but a lot of information gets thrown at you. so hopefully its not too over yoru head but i dont see why it would be anyway. hmm so im rambling to myself. well. i hope all you amazing people are having a wonderful day! its so beautiful out here. and i have to stay inside and work on a damn poetry power point thats due tomorrow. damn procrastination!!!! ooooh well. i think my body has gotten burnt enough in the past couple days to last me a lifetime.**

**school is winding down so i will be able to get a lot more writing in which im rather excited for!! then its off to college for me. eeep! kind of scary but exciting at the same time. i dont know why im telling you all this. i just feel like you should get a little more background about me since you are reading my story i feel its neccessary for you to know im not some crazy pyscho person. im perfectly normal... most of the time. :) enough oabout me. gosh look at me talking bout myself like this. like im so important or something. okay im going to stop now.**

**i dont own anything from camp rock. or this amazing jonas brother song. i almost forgot! you get to meet caitlyns parents in this one. :) i hope im not overwhelming you with too many people. just shout if i am. cause i plan on adding a couple more important people soon too. now ENJOY!**

**

* * *

Chapter Twelve: Hello Beautiful**

_**Hello Beautiful  
Hows it going  
I hear its wonderful  
In California  
I've been missin' you  
Its true**_

_**But tonight, I'm gonna fly  
Yeah tonight, I'm gonna FLY!  
Cause I could comb across the world  
And see everything, and never be satisfied  
If I couldn't see those eyes**_

**Hello Beautiful: Jonas Brothers**

"Nate!" gasped Caitlyn stepping in front of me – shielding me. "Can you wa–"

It was too late. Nate pushed Caitlyn away from me, eyes bugging out as they scrutinized every wound he saw. The wheels were turning and I could tell he was beginning to formulate stories. Nate was a smart boy; he was going to figure it out soon enough.

"Mitchie, what happened?" he finally asked.

I sighed and opened my mouth which Caitlyn proceeded to ignore. "Mitchie took a tumble down the stairs, that's all."

Nate's eyes jumped to his girlfriend trying to decipher her truthfulness. "Unless she fell down the seven flights of stairs, crashed through a window, and fell on some cement below. If that's not the case, you've gotta come up with a better lie than that."

His questioning eyes filled with sadness as he glanced over my body again. Caitlyn began to say something but I interrupted her this time. "It's not going to work this time Caity," I told her slowly – I was finding it hard to catch my breath, all that walking. Gosh I feel like an old crippled lady. "I gotta tell him. He's seen too much."

Reluctantly, Caitlyn nodded her head stiffly. It was then I realized just how protective she was of me to not even want her boyfriend to know. It brought tears to my eyes.

"Let me sit and I'll talk," I said hobbling over to the couch – the very couch Cait and I decided we would never tell anyone else. Looks like that's about to change.

Owen rushed forward and guided me to the couch. I could move on my own it was just very slow moving and painful. Nate and Caitlyn sat on either side of me on the couch. Carmen and Owen bustled around the kitchen preparing some meal I would be forced to eat later.

"Where should I start?" I asked mostly addressing Caitlyn.

She shrugged her shoulders. "From the beginning I guess?"

For the next two hours I proceeded to tell Nate everything with the help of Caitlyn. At points I became too overcome with emotion and she would take over for the time being – knowing my story almost better than me. Nate listened silently never speaking a word. He wanted to soak it all in, he wanted to understand my story.

"And that's why I look like this," I finished exhaustedly. I gripped the untouched hot cocoa Carmen handed me an hour ago. The warmth was all but gone; it was just a security blanket now. If my hands weren't occupied I would be shaking.

After being silent for so long it was weird to hear Nate speak. "Are you going to tell Shane?"

My eyes widened. "Honestly probably not. I've wanted to tell him but I never seem to be able to when the opportunity opens up."

Nate rubbed my shoulders brotherly. "Mitch, in the past couple days you've managed to change my arrogant, bitter cousin into someone I never thought he would be again. When were at home your all he can talk about. I know for a fact he's at JJ's right now worrying himself sick about you."

"What does he think I have?"

"The Flu, that's why he hasn't tried to come over."

"Tell him not too!" I panicked. "That would be so, so bad. He can't come to the house ever."

"I'll tell him but Mitch, I think you need to tell him."

"Are you going to?"

He shook his head and pretended to lock his lips. "I promise to you I will never tell another living soul."

I felt a weight fall off my chest. "Thank you."

"Mitchie," called Carmen from the kitchen. "You need to eat. I made your favorite."

The cheesy smell of noodles reached my nostrils. My stomach growled impatiently. I rolled my eyes standing. Both of them shot up ready to help me. I waved them off. "You two hang out for a bit. I think I can manage the walk to the kitchen," I joked.

Caitlyn grimaced as I came down on my leg too hard and stumbled forward. "I'm good, I'm good," I said steadying myself. "Now kiss or something."

My friends shook their heads at me. Ignoring them I stumbled my way to the counter and gingerly sat myself in a stool. I faced my steaming bowl of macaroni and cheese – the shape kind. Carmen knew me so well. She leaned on the counter watching me – more like monitoring that I ate.

"This is great Carmen," I said gulping down a glass of chocolate milk – another favorite.

She nodded her thanks. "Nate's right but you know that don't you?'

I set my fork down and looked at her. She and Caitlyn resembled each other so much at this moment. Both their faces set the same way when they started to tell me something I should do. Plus their physical appearances were almost identical, although Carmen was slightly darker than Caitlyn – Carmen was of Hispanic ethnicity which made her even more beautiful.

I sighed knowingly. "I know. He even told me his past, and so now I feel obligated to share mine."

"What's holding you back?" she asked scooping another spoonful of mac and cheese into my scarcely touched bowl.

I glared at her which received a smile. "I'm scared," I said lamely shoving a noodle in my mouth.

"You didn't seem too scared when you told Nate a couple seconds ago. You were actually very brave. What's really holding you back with Shane?"

I shrugged unconvincingly.

My face gave away what I was feeling – damn my eyes! Carmen's pretty eyes smiled perceptively. "I know that look," she said coyly. "It's okay to like him. It's okay to want someone to like you. It's not against the rules or anything. I think a stable man is exactly what you need."

"She already has me," Owen laughed wrapping an arm around me. "She doesn't need any of those stupid boys."

"Nope," I laughed hugging Owen closer.

Carmen rolled her eyes at her husband. "Anyway," she continued, "don't be afraid. You got to throw yourself into love not knowing anything or expecting anything out of it. It makes it so much more exciting and fun."

"I don't know if I'm ready for that vulnerability yet. I don't know if I can handle it."

Carmen smiled sadly, understanding me. "Mitchie, you've led the worst life imaginable. And yet you can still brighten anyone's day even if yours has been hell. You are the strongest person I know. If anyone can handle a relationship it's you. You can make it work."

I nodded slowly. "I guess I'm going to have to tell him."

Her smile widened. "The only question now is when."

* * *

I slept terribly.

Not only did I have the most awful nightmares ever, I couldn't find a comfortable position to sleep in. Every time I moved a part of my body I ached. It got so unbearable I left my room and slept with Caitlyn. I didn't sleep much better there but at least the nightmares stopped.

So you can understand why I did not want to move when Caitlyn roused me the next morning. "Come on," she insisted. "It's already 8:30."

"I don't want to go to school today," I complained hiding under the covers.

Caitlyn pulled the blankets away from my face and leant down next to me. "No honey, we need to go to school today. You have rehearsals after school."

"Rehearsals!" I exclaimed sitting up – bad move. "I completely forgot about the musical. How many have I missed?"

"Only one," she said helping me out of bed. "You have practice every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. And right now rehearsals are nothing but memorizing lines."

"So no dancing?"

"No dancing."

"Thank you Director!"

She rolled her light brown eyes and threw articles of clothing at my head. "Change and I'll fix you when you're done. Your eye looks somewhat better today."

I pulled my lime green tank over my head followed by my gray jacket. I winced as I pulled my favorite pair of jeans over my beaten legs. I ripped the belt from the loops; I was not going to be squeezed in my pants all day. My wounds still needed to breathe.

"How do you feel?"

"Better question, how does my face look?"

"I told you it looks better."

I eyed her. "You're lying," I said walking to the bathroom that separated hers and my room. "Ugh, I can't go to school looking like a sumo wrestler."

"Why not? Steven does it all the time," she said staring into the mirror with me.

A trickle of laughter dripped out of my mouth. "That was cruel. Now do your magic," I sighed plopping down on her bathroom stool.

"So, I've been thinking," she said after awhile of packing mounds of foundation and cover-up on my face. "I know I've asked you before but I'm really serious this time. You need to stay with me, like live here away from him. I even talked to my parents about it, and they think it's a really good idea. They even said your mom could stay too."

"We can't just leave."

"Yes, you can. It's simple really. All you do is pack up your stuff, move it over here, and wahla your safe."

"I wish it was that easy Cait. You think he would allow us to just move out? Even if we did he knows where you live, he knows where I got to school. I don't want to put you and your family in jeopardy. I will never escape him even if I would come live with you. I will never," I stated sadly closing my eyes to half the tears from spilling.

I heard Caitlyn sigh. "I will figure out something."

I didn't say anything else. It was better to be silent and let Caitlyn think what she wants. For the next couple minutes she worked on me in silence. I knew possible plans were racing through her mind. She had that intent look on her face like she did when she was trying to figure out a hard math problem.

"Okay look," instructed my friend setting down her tools.

I swiveled in my stool and gazed in wonderment at my reflection. My best friend was a miracle worker – no doubt about that. The big bruise on my right cheek was hardly noticeable. I could still see some yellowish and bluish marks but Caitlyn covered it up so well so that no one else would even come close to noticing. All the other small bruises and cuts were all but gone by her magic. My one cut didn't even look as nasty as it had.

"You're amazing."

Caitlyn nodded replacing her makeup in the drawer. "Let's try to keep ourselves unhurt for awhile, how about?"

"Believe me I will be ecstatic when I don't have to wear all this crap anymore. It makes my face feel like an iron pan."

She snorted and fixed her own hair. "Ready to go?" she asked giving me a once-over.

"Am I presentable?"

"It's going to have to do."

* * *

We arrived at school around 9:15, pretend doctor notes in hand. It helped tremendously that my best friend's mom was a nurse, and she could swipe these notes whenever we needed them. The lady in the office smiled at me once she saw us walk in.

"How are you feeling dear?" Millicent, I think it was, asked with concern. "I have all your work right here." She shuffled through a stack of papers and handed me a thin packet paper clipped at the top. "You didn't miss too much."

"Thank you," I said taking the papers. "I'm feeling much better, thank you."

"Excellent," she smiled. "Where are you going to dearies?"

"History," said Caitlyn.

"English," I said at the same time.

Millicent wrote out two passes and gave them to us. "Have a good day girls."

"See you at lunch," Caitlyn said giving me one last hug before turning down the hallway.

Caitlyn leaving me was like my safety net sinking to the bottomless ocean. I wandered nervously down the hall – not really wanting to go to class. Then I remembered I was going to be in English – Nate was there. Feeling a little better now that I knew I had Nate there, I knocked on the door and let myself in. Every head in the room turned to me. I hated when this happened. People were just so curious to see who came through the door, but they didn't have to keep staring at me like they were. It was awkward.

"Oh hello there Mitchie," Mr. Odyssey said brightly. "We've missed you. How are you feeling?"

"Much better," I said crossing the room and taking my seat in the back row across from Nate. He smiled as I sat slowly being extra careful.

"We've just been discussing the first couple chapters of Huckleberry Finn. Take out your book and follow along as I read some exerts."

I pulled my own tattered copy of Huck Finn out and opened to chapter one. I caught Nate looking at me out of the corner of my eye. I nodded, showing I was really okay. Satisfied, he relaxed back in his seat.

Mr. Odyssey rambled on about Huck, Jim, and Tom Sawyer for the next fifty-five minutes. My short attention span was really being tested. His voice was started to blend into the sounds of the room and soon enough I was barely listening to him. I found it was more entertaining to stare out the window watching the dark wintry clouds swirl in the foreboding sky. I wonder if snow was on the forecast.

Sadly enough this is how most of my day went: me being distracted by everything from the way the clouds moved, to the wobbly desk in the third row, to the line of fuzz protruding from Megan's back pocket. Someone was going to diagnose me with ADD any moment now, I could feel it.

By lunch I was ready to go back to Caitlyn's, crawl under the covers, and sleep until I couldn't anymore. Walking from class to class was exhausting for me, more exhausting than I ever thought it would be. I guess I didn't think my legs were as sore as they really were. I was going to need a wheelchair by the end of the day to make it around.

"Hey guys," I greeted Nate and Caitlyn sitting down at our usual table.

"How's your day going so far?" asked Caitlyn taking note of my exhausted nature.

"It's okay. I'm just really tired. I never knew walking could be so tiring."

Nate laughed, his eyes focusing on something behind me. "Brace yourself," he said shortly.

"What?" I asked with a confused laugh.

"Brace yourself," he said again.

I began to turn but my vision was obscured by a dark jacket. I inhaled the all too familiar scent. Pretty sure I would have sunk to the floor if he hadn't been holding me so tightly. Oh, it felt so good to be back in his arms again. I never wanted him to let go.

"I told you," I heard Nate chuckle.

I didn't pay any attention to my amused friend. I was waiting for this, waiting to finally see him again. He released me all too soon and pulled up a chair right next to mine. His eyes locked mine, and I prayed Caitlyn's makeup worked.

"Hello beautiful," he murmured softly for only me to hear.

Hearing his voice sent chills down my spine all the way to my toes. Heat worked its way through my entire body exploding in my caked over cheeks. The makeup must have worked. "Hey," I answered faintly – not trusting me to say anything else.

"I've missed you," he stated simply like it was something he said all the time.

I could only imagine how goofy my smile must have looked after he said that. "How have you been without me?" I joked, moving away from the tenderness of this conversation.

"Utterly terrible," he confessed. "Life has been too bland without you here. Plus rehearsals sucked without you. People just didn't know what to do without their lead there."

"Yeah right," I laughed.

"I'm serious now," he said smiling. "You didn't miss anything though. M handed out the official script and song book. They are enormous! That's about it."

"I'm not too behind then."

He shook his head, his dark hair falling over his eyes effortlessly. My breath hitched in my throat – I hated him for being able to do this to me, not that he knew or anything. But still, practically making me want to melt every time he moved was a bit ridiculous was it not?

"Are you working tonight?"

Caitlyn interjected. "We have lessons tonight."

My head rose from its spot on the table to slap my forehead but I thought better of it. "I'm so discombobulated. I completely forgot about lessons. I guess not," I told him sadly.

He continued to smile showing off his adorable dimples. "I'll see you there anyway."

I smiled shyly bowing my head forward to keep him from seeing my blush. A stray piece of hair escaped from behind my ear. He instantaneously reached to me, brushing it back in place. His calloused fingers lingered above my cheek barely touching – what a tease!

His smile pulled up at one corner – could he honestly be any more adorable, I mean honestly? "I really missed you."

**

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are you satisfied?? :) i know i know. shane is going to find out much sooner than you think. much sooner than i expected. but hey. stay tuned. :)**


	13. I Wanna Know You

**WOOOOOOOOOO! another chapter. and seriously i cant thank you guys enough for all your support of this story and how much you really love it. i have a feeling your going to love this one. and i mean love love love. i finished it all up in like an hour just so i could post it tonight! i think im going to take some time to write alot of chapters and then type and post them all soon. so it might be a delay in the next couple chapters just so i can get them all flowing better like i did at the start of this story. :)**

**warning though, this chapter is a little rough. and you will understand after you read it. im going to shut up now because i need to get ready and im on here and daddy is yelling at me! soooo disclaimer...**

**i dont own camp rock or any of its amazing characters. BTW i think jonas starts tonight on disney! i cant be sure but i think it does. :) uhmmm. kelly clarkson is amazing and i dont own her. otherwise everythink is all mine!!! ENJOY!!!**

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* * *

Chapter Thirteen: I Wanna Know You**

_**I wanna know where you go  
I wanna find out what you know  
And maybe someday down the road  
I'll sit back and say to myself  
Yeah, I thought so!**_

_**You smile and never shout  
You stand out in the crowd  
You make the best of every situation**_

_**Correct me if I'm wrong  
You're fragile and you're strong  
A beautiful and perfect combination**_

**I Wanna Know You: Miley Cryus/David Archuleta**

"Mitchie darling!" boomed M that afternoon. "We missed you so very much on Monday. I have your script and music books right here." M thrust two yellow booklets in my waiting hands. My name was written in thick calligraphy across the top of each booklet along with my characters name underneath – they were beautiful. "You can sit off to the side while we work on some scenes today."

I nodded. "Thank you," I said stepping back away from the group already peering intently at my lines.

M clapped her hands together. Everyone else flocked to her as I stood further back. "I want Nikko, Tajid, Robin, Janet, and Caspian over there," she said pointing to the right side of the stage. "Go! Shoo! I will come over in a minute and tell you what scenes I want to go over."

Shane gave me one last smile before reluctantly joining his group. I kept my eyes glued to my script as M continued to direct.

"Oh Grady, showing up right on time I see?" M said addressing someone in the audience.

"You know me all too well M to know this is showing up early for me," a distance voice stated with a laugh.

"Yes, yes," groaned M her head falling into her hand. "Sit over there with Mitchie since you didn't even bother to show up on Monday."

Whoever Grady was hopped up on stage and sauntered over to M instead of heading my direction. He whispered a few choice words in her ear causing an uncommon blush to happen across M's cool face.

"Go!" she ordered, once her trance had subsided, shoving him in my direction. "I need to direct, and you need to sit. Keegan will bring you your books."

He mumbled one last word and headed straight for me. I was curious to know how he already knew me when I had absolutely no clue who he was. As he came closer I quickly understood why M was so taken with him; he was unbelievably hot – not in the way that Shane is hot but in a totally different style. He wore loose jeans with a bright yellow polo, something Shane would never be caught dead in. His close buzzed brown hair made his bright blue eyes stand out even more than usual. Two earrings reflected the stage lights making them sparkle. He grinned as he saw me staring at him.

"Hey," he said falling to the ground next to me. "You're Mitchie but I don't think we've officially met. I'm Grady Lawrence."

I shook his outstretched hand – very firm. "Nice to meet you," I said curiously.

"You missed Monday practice too?"

I nodded. "I've been sick."

He indiscreetly inched his body away from me a nervous smile on his face. "Contagious?"

I laughed in spite. "No not at all," I said bitterly.

He resumed his first position completely disregarding my harsh reply. "Good, I'm not too fond of sick people."

"That's sort of prejudice isn't it?" I wondered.

"I guess it is," he said slowly his eyebrows creeping toward his hairline. "Oh well, I'll overlook your slight sickness for the time being. What part are you?"

"Courtney."

His bright blue eyes widened. "I'm socializing with the lead actress, what an honor it is," he proclaimed bowing.

Although it was completely ridiculous I couldn't help but feel attracted to him. This gorgeous senior, at least I think he is a senior, was taking time out of his day to talk to me. But then I stopped and thought. I already had a gorgeous senior taking even more time out of his day to talk to me. At this thought I glanced over to Shane. If I was attracted to Grady then I don't even know how to explain what I was towards Shane – utterly engrossed, unfathomably absorbed, unconditionally head-over-heels?

"I guess I'm kind of a big deal," I said playfully. "What about you?"

"Well, I'm an enormous deal."

"Not what I meant," I said through fits of laughter – I liked Grady already.

"Oh yeah!" he exclaimed goofily. "I'm Royce King, wonderfully wonderful to meet you!"

"Keep it down over there you two!" M shouted from across the stage.

We glanced in her direction: me guiltily, him innocently. My eyes caught Shane's almost instantly. I soon noticed he wasn't staring at me but staring right through me to Grady. The glare on his face wasn't too obvious but from getting to know him for the past week I could tell it was there. My eyes scrunched up in confusion as I glanced between him and Grady. Their gazes were locked in a fierce glaring battle.

Shane was the first to glance away his eyes finally landing on me. His distorted face fell back to its charming self. I smiled in spite of my immense confusion. Butterflies danced in my stomach – see I told you, utter engrossment or whatever.

He sensed my discomfort by my facial expression and smiled triumphantly. I scowled hating to be figured out so easily.

"Why don't you two go over lines or something productive?" M said muttering something else to herself.

"Okay M, we shall bid to your request," he said theatrically.

I ignored his statement. I was still transfixed by Shane. I think this bothered Grady some because he said, "Quit staring at Gray. He's not all that."

I scoffed but kept silent – no trying to prove Grady he was wrong. And boy was he truly wrong indeed.

* * *

"Listen to Mitchie, she's got this set down," Jason said to the class which resulted in all eyes falling on Carley and I.

I glared at him momentarily, angry with him for singling me out when he knew perfectly well that I hated that.

"Play the set again," he instructed with an infuriating smile.

I strummed the pile of chords Jason had just taught us hitting every note impeccably. I finished my chords with a satisfied smile.

"Well done Mitch! At least someone can understand what I'm teaching," he said pointedly staring down every other student in the small studio. "We're done for the day, keep working on your music. You won't learn these chords without practice."

Everyone began to pack up their guitars and music. Jason whirled around abruptly saying, "Oh yeah! I completely forgot. Next week starts the holiday break, and I've decided that everyone deserves a break from lessons for a couple weeks. So no class until after the new year. Keep working on your own songs seeing as they will be due at the end of February. Have a merry Christmas everyone!"

The mention of Christmas upped the energy of the students. People passed me wishing me a merry Christmas and sharing their congratulations on my set. That's what I loved about lessons; everyone was so good in their own distinct way that no one ever got jealous of anyone else. Of course, if one of us was praised by Jason it meant that the rest of us were going to push ourselves even harder to get it right. We all wanted to be the best we could be, and we weren't going to whine or complain about people being praised – that's what beginners class is for.

"You sticking around for a little bit?" I asked Caitlyn stowing Carley carefully back into her case.

She nodded. "Is that okay?" she wondered guiltily her eyes shooting to Nate.

I chuckled. "Of course. I'm going to stay up here and work on some music."

"Okay!" she said excitedly, Nate and her exiting the room leaving me all alone.

I finished packing Carley up and wandered across the hall to Studio D – the instrument room. I opened my locker against the far wall and placed Carley inside. Ever since that episode at home with Carley getting hurt I don't take any more chances. I leave her here where I know she will be safe. After snapping my locker shut I moved about the room looking and fiddling with all the extra instruments that lay around the room. This was the room Jason had dubbed the extras room. All the extra instruments they would use for recording or other such events were stowed in here, out of the way of everything else.

My fingers dragged over the ancient piano dust puffing out from the pipes. I coughed violently backing away from the dust bowl. Backing up I practically tripped over a violin lying upon the ground.

I gasped. "You should not be lying on the floor like that," I said picking the dainty instrument up.

I cradled the violin in my hands. Holding a violin felt totally different than holding a guitar. Even though they are the same type of instrument – kind of at least – the whole way of playing was extremely different. I tucked the base under my chin and ran the bow across the thin strings. A beautiful whining sound danced off the bow.

If you couldn't tell, I loved to play a lot of different instruments. If I had to choose just one that I loved to play most it would have to be the violin, just because it was so unique and beautiful sounding. Not many people knew how to the play the violin and I think that's why I liked it so much more. I tend to think of myself as an unusual and unique person, so the violin just fits me.

I learned to play the violin when I started working here at JJ's in June – about six months ago. For six months I've taught myself how to play the violin from watching, listening, and reading about the violin – not to brag or anything.

I sat on a rickety bench and let the bow flow across the strings emitting a sweet song. Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to be lost in the music. The bow traveled along the violin creating numerous notes of delightful music. I played the melody to one of my songs deciding right then and there that if I ever recorded music I wanted violins to be a part of every song.

I opened my eyes and found Shane standing in the open doorway a smile playing on his flawless face. I yelped in fright jumping off the bench almost tripping over another instrument in the process. "Don't you know better than to sneak up on a girl playing the violin?"

"I'm amazed by the fact you even know how to play the violin," he said with a thoughtful look. "I've actually come to find I hardly know anything about you."

He was in front of me before I had time to process his statement. I breathed deeply inhaling his intoxicating scent – bad move. My already tired mind became even less functional.

"Y-you know plenty about me," I stuttered peering up into his brown/blue eyes – bad move #2.

"Yes, I know that your favorite food is macaroni and cheese. I know your favorite movie is The Notebook. I know your favorite color is green," he said exasperatedly. "Those are just the basics. I don't really know what's inside you, what's going on in your head right now?"

He reached for my cheek but I flinched away – bad move #3. I couldn't help it; it was natural instinct for me to repel the human touch. He paused and touched the scar above my left eye, his fingers tracing the thin pink line I knew was there. I searched his face as he did this. I knew what was running through his mind.

That's why I knew what was coming next. "I want to know why you flinch every time I try to touch you. I want to know why you have this scar here," he said softly letting his ice cold fingers trace the healing cut. "I want to know why you really missed those days of school, why you miss a lot of school come to think of it. I want to know you Mitchie."

"I-I," I stammered. I was too stunned and shocked as to where this was heading I could hardly form thoughts in my head. So you can see my dilemma with the whole speaking thing.

His hand crept to the back of my neck pulling my eyes up to look at him. He sighed deeply and dropped his hand abruptly. I silently wished for him to replace his hand. He turned and paced the room with haste. Then he stopped and stared at me. "I am going to be honest with you, okay?"

I nodded – it was all I could do.

Turning around, he sighed again. Whatever he was about to say was eating him up inside. "I like you Mitchie. Hell, I really, really like you. I've never felt like this before about anyone. You have this way of getting in my head to the point of where I can never shake you out. I even wrote this song about it."

He cleared his throat. "You're the voice I hear inside my head. The reason that I'm singing. I need to find you. I gotta find you," he crooned skillfully. "But don't you see. I have found you."

I couldn't speak so he continued.

"I told you my past. No one else knows about it except for my family," he said seriously. "I feel like I know nothing about you but you know all this stuff about me. I can tell there are things you aren't telling me, and I don't know why you won't. I want to know, but if you aren't willing to open up to me then I don't know what to do. I don't know how something could ever work between us if you don't let me in."

He was so close now. If I moved forward just an inch our lips would surely touch.

"What do you say Mitch?" his soulful eyes pleading with mine.

There was the opening I've been waiting for, and he opened it pretty damn big too. Now that it was staring me right in the face I couldn't find the courage to actually say all the things on my mind. I'd never seen him look so completely serious. He wanted to know, and he wanted to know badly.

Vibrations buzzed in my pocket. He heard it too because his eyes fell to my jeans.

"Answer it," he said shortly.

I pulled the phone out, Caitlyn's name blinking on the screen. I stared at it, confused. Why would she be calling me? Wasn't she just downstairs? Why couldn't she walk up here and talk to me?

"Caity?" I asked curiously.

My friend sounded out of breath. "Mitchie, he's here."

That's all she needed to say for my heart rate to raise steadily. "What?" I asked, panic evident in my voice.

"I saw his car dive up. I thought he was going to just drive past but he parked right outside the store."

"Why is he here?" I shouted softly fear rising inside me.

Shane looked at me curiously.

"I'm coming up to you. We need to get you out of here now. Nate is telling Jason, so he is locking up the store. Is there anyone with you?"

"Shane," I breathed catching his eyes.

"Wonderful," muttered Caity. "Have you told him anything yet?"

"No."

"Double wonderful," groaned my friend. "What are we going to do about him?"

"I don't know. Are Jason and Nate out of the building?" I asked.

"Yeah, they are going to go wait out back in the car for us. I'm almost to you, we need to hurry."

Caitlyn barreled through the open door seconds later. Shane looked between us even more confused than before.

"Hey Shane," she said awkwardly. "Jason and Nate need you out back."

"What's going on?" Shane demanded staying rooted to the spot – of course he chooses now to be stubborn.

"Shane, please go with Caitlyn," I pleaded.

Caitlyn rounded on me. "What are you talking about? You are coming with us too."

We stared at each other having our usual silent fight. In the end Caitlyn had to give up. "I am not happy about this Mitchie, and I can't believe I'm allowing this. But since I trust you, I'm giving you five minutes and that's all. If you're not in the car by then I'm coming in."

Caitlyn grabbed onto Shane and tried to pull him away with her. He wouldn't budge. He broke free of her grasp and moved to me.

"I want to know what's going on," he said forcefully, holding onto my arms to keep me from moving. His eyes were ablaze with concern, confusion, and worry.

"I will tell you everything later. I promise," I whispered.

He sensed the desperate air of my plea and pulled me to his arms holding me tight. A huge bang of glass breaking rang from downstairs. Caitlyn jumped in fright as Shane shifted his confusion to anger – he had gotten inside.

"Shane, please," I begged – I wouldn't be able to stand it if he was hurt.

He picked me up putting too much pressure on my wounds. I gasped in pain and he set me down quickly. "I'm sorry. Please be careful with whatever you're doing," he murmured kissing my forehead lovingly.

With one last fleeting glance Caitlyn and Shane disappeared out of sight and away from danger, leaving me all alone. An angry growl pierced the air – maybe not all alone. Something in me growled back at the intruder. This was not going to be pleasant.

I took my time down the stairs as it was the only way I really could. My body was still recovering from the last infractions. I heard him throw something knocking down a row of discs sending them shattering throughout the store. Anger flourished inside me. I could allow the defacing of our own house and property, but for him to come into JJ Records and destroy their things was unthinkable and unforgivable. He was not going to tear apart one of the only places I loved.

My feet finally hit the carpeted floor of the first level. I stealthily peeked around the corner and spotted him ransacking the entire store. A bolt of anger and hatred surged through me that I'd never felt toward him before. At this moment, he was no longer any father of mine – he was a monster.

"What are you doing?" I shouted appearing from around the corner. His head snapped up at the sound of my voice. A twisted grin corrupted his fat, red face with his mouth hanging open. I half-expected foam to start gurgling out of the corners of his mouth.

"Looking for your little friends," he said turning over a row of music.

I growled in my throat. I was thankful that Jason kept most of the valuables upstairs otherwise they would all be in pieces.

"Stop!" I yelled firmly, holding onto the counter for support – my leg was killing me.

Surprisingly he did but only to direct his course to me. I held fast to the counter and my ground.

"You want me to stop messing up your friends' hole?" he laughed wickedly. "And how are you, a puny, good-for-nothing, piece of shit going to stop me?"

I inched away from my support slowly. "The police are going to stop you. Their on the way," I lied hoping he would buy it.

An evil cackle boomed loudly. I was certain the next state over heard it. "You think the police are going to stop me? I thought we had a little agreement. I'm sure you haven't forgotten it."

I gulped knowing all too well what he was referring too.

"If not I'll certainly remind you," he grinned advancing devilishly. "You aren't supposed to tell anyone, and if I find out you have oh-ho it will not be a pretty day for anyone."

Tears built up behind my eyes threatening to fall. He was terrible, so terrible.

"Do you have anything you want to tell me?" he asked standing square in front of me now.

I shook my head squeezing my eyes tight to keep the tears in. He kept moving closer until my back was pressed up against the wall. I gasped – I was trapped. How was it that I always managed to get myself in these situations? Well, I guess it didn't help that I decided to come down here by myself to try and fight him off – so stupid.

"Why don't you tell me where your little friends are?"

"Why?" I asked – wrong question.

He slapped me across the face pulverizing my nose even worse than last time. "You don't ask the questions around here! But to answer you, I want to have a little talk with them. Just so I can get to know the people you're schmoozing around with." His venomous glare was threatening to strike. Why did I come down?

"You will never meet my friends," I said bravely.

He knocked my bad leg causing me to plummet to the floor in agony. I felt the skin tear open allowing my blood to exit my body freely.

"Getting braver now aren't you?" he growled pointing another kick to my stomach. I cried out in pain, my healing cut was torn open from the blow. "And to think you have friends, who would want to be friends with you? You're a little bitch who doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut! I'm going to teach you something about bravery." A couple hits later and I was coughing up blood.

"Your mother decided to try and be brave too. Good thing I finished that," he boomed his fist crashing into my skull.

Stars danced around my mind followed by sporadic black spots. Wait – Mom? "What did you do to her?" I coughed, another handful of blood spilling out of my mouth.

"Nothing," he grinned as if remembering my mother's beating was humorous. "Now sit still love. Daddy is going to have some fun."

He picked me up carelessly and threw me down atop the counter roughly. I groaned as my battered back landed on the hard surface. He groped at my bloodied body forcibly. His hand was halfway up my shirt when I heard it. In the far off distance sirens blared wildly – tons of them from the sounds of it. He heard it too because he paused, ripping his hand from underneath my shirt. He turned to me with more hatred on his face than ever.

"You've done it now whore," he proclaimed giving me one last favorable punch to the eye and fled the scene.

"Coward," I muttered as I watched him run out the broken window and disappear down the darkened street.

I lay there for a moment contemplating my next move. Then I remember, "Mom." Pushing myself up past all the pain and torment, I used my mom as motivation to get me going. I stumbled when my feet hit the ground but stabilized myself. Ignoring the throbbing of my legs I ran unevenly to the front of the store and crawled out the window. I continued to run/hobble/stumble my way down the slush covered sidewalk – damn the snow. As I ran I pulled my phone out amazed that it was still in one piece.

"Mitchie," Caitlyn breathed a sigh of relief. "Where are you?"

"I'm going to find Mom," I said simply.

Caitlyn knew what I meant. "What? What happened? Is he gone? Where are you?"

"Halfway to my house. He left when he heard the sirens."

"Are you okay?" she asked softly.

"I'll live."

"I'll meet you at your house in five. And Mitch, please be careful."

"I'll do my best."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

I snapped the phone shut and proceeded at a brisk jog. Millions of potential ways I was going to find my mom ran through my head. I tried to stay positive and kept telling myself that she was alive and okay, but even my conscious had other thoughts. I pushed those thoughts aside, I needed to stay focused. My whole body hummed with pain. I don't even know how I was able to move.

The house was nearing. Its tall peak jutted out over the treetops. The light in my room was on – oh no. I sprinted the last couple meters in hopes of finding my mother quicker.

I barreled through the door yelling, "Mom! Mom! Mom!"

I stopped waiting for answer. As I feared she didn't reply. I hobbled around the house feeling more exhausted after running three miles. There was no sign of her in any of the downstairs rooms. A major déjà vu floated over me. I've done this too many times before.

The last place I checked was the kitchen. I stepped the one stair up into the small alcove known as the kitchen practically sliding across the floor. Panicking slightly, I looked down to see my feet standing in a pile of deep red blood with a kitchen knife lying on the floor next to it. I flipped a couple more lights on. A trail of bloody prints led through the kitchen and up the stairs in the back. My feet set into action. I was up the stairs in a heartbeat carefully avoiding all the blood splats.

For some reason, I knew whatever I was going to find was going to be in my bedroom. Call it my female intuition. As I headed to my room my nerves exploded. My hand unsteadily sought out my doorknob and turned it.

Like I said before, my lights were already on. My whole room looked like it had lost a battle with a tornado: papers were everywhere, clothes were strewn across the floor, and furniture was overturned like someone had been looking for something.

My eyes searched the room closely looking for any sign of my mother. Nothing in the bedroom, so I crossed my floor to the bathroom. I paused before opening the door, a few trickles of water falling from my eyes. When had I started crying?

The door squeaked open, my mouth falling down. I ran to the tub which held my mother's battered body. Her limbs were all erratic and awkward looking. Blood filled the tub underneath her.

"No, no, no," I cried bending down close to her head. "Mom? Mom!"

I shook her gently gradually shaking her harder. She showed no sign of moving any time soon.

"No, no, no! Mom, please!?" I begged, checking for a pulse at her bloodied neck.

The front door slammed downstairs. Footsteps boomed up the stairs. "Mitchie!" Caitlyn's voice called out. "Mitchie!"

My head hit the edge of the tub succumbing to a full out bawl. I clutched her lifeless hand in my own afraid to let go.

Caitlyn burst through the door, her gaze traveling from me to Mom and back to me again. She crossed the tile and fell down embracing me. I sunk into her comforting touch allowing all my grief and pain to flow out in my sobs.

"Mitchie," she whispered this time. "We need to leave. I called Mom and Dad. They are coming over. They've called the police."

As soon as she said it sirens sounded in the distance. It sounded like a whole army of them all heading towards me. Caitlyn tried to pull me up. I stayed glued to my spot.

"I'm not leaving her," I muttered hoarsely. "I promised."

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next chapter.... is the BIG ONE!!!! you know what im talking about. :) be amazing people like always and have a splendid day/night/whatever it is wherever you are!!!**


	14. I'm Not Okay

**heyy!! this is short but exactly what you all wanted. and i must rush because im off to dinner! i hope you all like this chapter. its what youve all been waiting for. :) sorry im so short but i gotta run! you know i love you all and thanks for reading and reviewing!!**

**i dont own camp rock. i dont own my chemical romance.**

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Chapter Fourteen: I'm Not Okay**

_**But you really need to listen to me  
Because I'm telling you the truth  
I mean this, I'm okay  
(Trust me)**_

_**I'm not okay  
I'm not okay**_

**I'm Not Okay: My Chemical Romance**

It hadn't taken long for my house to become swarmed with squad cars, ambulances, and even a surprising fire truck. I couldn't figure out for the life of me the purpose of that. Caitlyn and I had been ripped from my bathroom being told to stay out of the house; it was now a crime scene. I felt like I was in one of those crime shows. People bustled in and around my house attempting to make sense of what happened at my house tonight.

Once I'd hit the crisp outside air, finally getting away from the sickening stench of blood, a flock of police officers encircled me. Thankfully the lovely EMT's whisked me away and shut me away in the ambulance, saving me from evil policemen. I was entirely thankful for their thoughtfulness but as soon as I was rolled into the extremely white and too clean smelling hospital my feelings toward them changed immediately.

You know how there are those certain things people just can't stand like being stuck in rush hour traffic or being in the never ending line at the grocery store. Well mine is hospitals. I've never liked them. That is particularly why I never admitted myself after one of my many beatings. Just the thought of having to hang around a building filled with so much death and turmoil made me want to just commit suicide just so I don't have to endure hospitals. Sorry if my ramblings are becoming slightly scary, they've put me on so many drugs I can't count to ten without falling asleep.

Of course when I did fall asleep it was brief and plagued with images of my mother. So needless to say I tried to stay away as much as I could.

It's been two hours since I've been admitted to the ER. The on-call nurses decided I wasn't too terribly injured – or I just wasn't important enough – and tucked me away in my own room where I could enjoy my own beeping monitors peacefully. Personally I think they were making me go slightly loopy – okay more than slightly.

One of the nurses's hooked me up to an IV that pumped blood into my body every so often. Apparently I'd lost enough blood in the past couple hours to have them worried.

In those two hours I've seen Caitlyn for all of two minutes, and when they walked with me into the room I am in now. They were sent to wait in the waiting room until I was feeling better. Bunch of codswallop if you ask me seeing as I've been awake and talking for the past hour or so and they've still not allowed any visitors. Caitlyn was the one I most wished to see, and even my begging with the nurses was getting me absolutely nowhere so eventually I gave up.

I sighed, I felt like I was being trapped in a psyche ward. All it was missing was the padded walls. Doctors would pour in at random times to evaluate me and check my vitals. They brought the interns in to check me out – it must have been a slow night. All of them looked particularly frightened looking upon an abused teenager. It made me feel extremely uncomfortable.

All I wanted was to be left alone and to wallow in my own self-pity. The stupid doctors weren't allowing any me time which was really starting to get on my nerves. If I could I would yell at them to leave me alone but I didn't have the strength.

They kept telling me to sleep, but every time I closed my eyes Mom would pop up again – ruled out sleeping. I didn't know what to do with myself. Too much time to think which I never liked in the first place. I had a feeling this was how crazy people became crazy. They lock them up in rooms similar to this and leave them here for days upon weeks upon months upon years at a time. I really felt for those asylum inmates now – I felt like I was becoming one.

I groaned and slammed my hand down on the bed. The IV tugged at my arm sending a burst of pain coursing down my arm. Damn these hospitals! The door creaked open allowing yet another flow of doctors to enter. I groaned again and lay my head back against my pillow – yet another time to be ogled at. The one in the white coat stepped forward donning a metal clipboard; he was the leader.

"Hey Mitchie, I'm your doctor Dr. Newport," the elderly man said nicely. "I've been reviewing your blood work and x-rays and we've found you've had multiple contusions to your skull and various parts of your body."

Well no shit Sherlock. Try living with a raging psycho man and coming out unscathed.

"We want to prep you for surgery seeing as you have done some serious damage to your face. You've definitely broken your nose, and your leg looks like it may need some stitches and maybe a cast. You stomach also needs some stitches. Otherwise were going to get you all cleaned up and feeling better."

"Surgery?" I squeaked my mind hadn't processed anything after that word. "You couldn't have figured this out two hours ago when I was first admitted here?"

Dr. Newport frowned but didn't address the attitude I was giving him. "We had to figure out what was wrong with you before we prepped you for a surgery we weren't sure you needed."

"But now it's needed?"

He nodded.

"Well I don't care. I don't need you to fix me up. I've healed many times before this and I'm perfectly okay. I have some bumps and bruises and scars but I'll live. I just want to see my mom," I said quietly, the image flashing again.

"You can't see her. She's actually –"

"Dead, yeah I figured," I finished for him. "I still want to see her."

"We can't allow that."

"I don't want to be here. I don't need to be here," I argued angrily.

"Mitchie," he said soothingly. "I know you've had a really rough and tragic night." Understatement of the century. "But we need to keep you over night. I need to fix up your nose and cheek bone. I know you want to be all tough and not have to worry about this stuff, but if it doesn't get properly fixed it could be an even bigger problem in the future. You aren't going anywhere."

I laid back in defeat. "Then let me see my friends."

Dr. Newport smiled painfully. "Oh fine, but only one. You need to get some sleep."

I rolled my eyes at his retreating back. All the doctors exited the room which I was grateful for. The door was left ajar which allowed me to hear the apparent fight someone was trying to put up to come in and see me. I half-expected Caitlyn to come barreling through the door, clothes askew from fighting her way in to see me. I was immensely surprised to see a very sullen looking Shane Gray pass over the threshold and close the door quietly behind him.

I panicked. I wasn't remotely ready to see him.

"Hey," he started lamely scratching the back of his head awkwardly. He stood a few feet away from my bed looking nervous.

"Hi," I tried to say brightly. "Lovely night isn't it?"

His tentative face turned down in a frown. "Mitchie."

"Whatever happened to you never calling me Mitchie?" I wondered sadly. "I kind of liked it."

The frown disappeared and was replaced with a smile. "It grew on me I guess," he said. "You look awful Mitch."

Not what I was expecting but okay. "Thanks Shane, you really know how to make a girl feel better."

He dragged the uncomfortable looking wooden chair close to the bed and plopped down in it. His blue/brown eyes peered down at me with so much confusion and sadness that I thought I might cry from how pathetic he looked. "What is going on?" he asked softly. "No one would tell me anything and I mean nothing. All I know is that you look like hell, and we're in the hospital because of it."

I sighed – the time was dawning. "I know, I'm sorry."

"Talk to me Mitch," he pleaded taking hold of my good hand. My head spun from his touch, even heavily medicated his effect was still not lost on me – must be a good thing right?

I bit my lip – afraid. Was I ready? I stared at his face; he looked like a lost little puppy. There was no turning back now. "It's not as easy as you think," I whispered barely audible.

He drew closer so his beautiful eyes were inches away from mine – yeah, that was going to help me calm down. I closed mine to try and retain my composure. I sucked in a big breath of air and started. "Okay, let's start from the very beginning."

He leaned closer to me if that was even humanly possible. All his attention was on me and that's what scared me the most. _I can do this, just repeat over and over in my head: I can do this_.

"I'm the only child my parents have," I started off slowly, steadily. "For a couple years I was all that mattered to them. They loved me so much and couldn't wait to expand our little family. When I turned two they tried again for another baby. My baby brother Matthew was born nine months later. He was a sickly baby and was born with a big hole in his heart. Sometimes babies are born with holes in their hearts and are able to continue living with it for the rest of their life. But Matthew's was too big and the doctors caught it too late. They first noticed at his two month check up and by that time there was nothing left to do but wait. He died when he was four months old."

"That's terrible," whispered Shane – yeah that wasn't even the bad part.

"I don't really remember him which still makes me sad to this day. I was too young at the time," I sighed heavily knowing the moment of truth was right around the corner. I was doing okay though, no tears yet, no big breakdown. I could do this. "My parents were torn up about it though. _Dad_ took it harder than Mom. All he ever wanted was a boy and it killed him that the only boy he had was gone."

"They tried a couple more times after Matthew but every time he found out they were girls," I choked fighting back the tears, "he would b-beat M-mom until she had a miscarriage."

He gasped quietly. Ignoring him I continued my eyes set on my twiddling hands. "After awhile he gave up altogether. Mom wasn't producing a boy for him and he couldn't take it. The yelling and mental abuse came first. It started off slow at first but it quickly grew into something more. My seventh birthday was the turning point in both my mother's life and mine."

Bits and pieces of that fateful day wandered back in my mind. I shivered at the remembrance. "I was turning seven, not too important of a birthday, but when you're young all the birthdays matter. Mom set up this big princess party for me. All my friends were to come over and we would play fun games and eat lots of food. That never happened. _He_ stumbled into the house a couple hours before the party and proceeded to scream at Mom for spending so much time on me when she could have been having a boy. My seven year old mind doesn't remember too well of all that happened, but Mom told me later that he took me with him and did unthinkable things to me," I said through gritted teeth. Tears were trickling out of my eyes. I griped the sheets underneath me tightly to keep me from shaking.

"Now that I look back, I remember him always having a slight drinking problem even before I turned seven. He definitely wasn't as bad as he is now, but there was always something in him that didn't seem right," I sighed.

I sniffed shaking my head. "That was just the beginning of everything. By the time I was nine I'd already been to the hospital twelve times on account of his beatings. When I grew older and wiser, you could say, I started to fight back and stay away from him more and more. Even though I tried immensely hard to stay away there was never a true escape. The harder I tried the worse the beatings would be."

I coughed up a sob and it took me a minute to regroup. "There was one mishap though that he never knew about. One day when I was eleven or so, Caitlyn walked in on me when I was trying to clean my cuts before school. She immediately freaked out but eventually calmed down enough and decided to help me. She swore to me she would never tell anyone. We became best friends." I smiled sadly at the memory.

"I'm honestly truly surprised I've never been pregnant," I admitted darkly, squeezing my eyes shut to keep the disgust out of my face. "Up until I befriended Caitlyn I was in the worst condition of my life ever. To be completely truthful with you, at times I contemplated killing myself because he wouldn't be able to hurt me anymore if I was gone. But then I regained some sense and decided I wasn't going to allow him the satisfaction of me giving up. I've never experienced so much depression and loneliness in my life. Believe me, I loved my mother, but she was such a push-over. She never tried to get away she just took it. Personally, I think he had mentally instilled it in her mind that it was all her fault that these beatings were happening to her – absolute horse shit. Sorry," I murmured catching Shane's face of surprise at my swearing.

"I think that's the only thing that was different about me and her. I tried everything I could, to an extent, to not get hurt. She had no fight left in her."

More tears fell from my red, puffy eyes landing on mine and Shane's laced hands. I used my free hand to point to my wounds. "This is why I've missed school the past two days. This is why I miss a lot of school, come to think of it. This is why I only ever wear long-sleeved shirts. There's so much about me I have to hide from everyone."

"But you don't need to hide," he whispered, startling me. His hand reached up to brush the hair away from my face.

"I do, I can't imagine what you must think of me now. You probably think I'm a dirty, that I'm not worthy of anyone or anything," I spat angrily ripping my hand from his.

"I could never think that of you," he said truthfully. "And I think you know that. It is not your fault this stuff has happened to you. Honestly, I can't wrap it around my head how you are who you are with having this past. It just blows my mind that you've been through so many terrible things and yet you seem to find the good in everyone and everything."

Another sob crept out of my throat. "I don't understand why anyone would want to talk to me if they knew what has happened to me."

"Mitchie," he breathed pulling me into his arms. I laid my head on his shoulder and sobbed for a good five whole minutes.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I said pulling away from him. "You have no idea how many times I've wanted to tell you but didn't have the courage too."

"I'm so glad you told me now though," he said stroking my cheek lovingly. "It explains so much about you now. I understand."

"So you're not disgusted with me?" I asked sadly wiping my snotty nose with the sleeve of my hospital gown.

He smiled. "Well, that was a little disgusting but no I am not at all. It just makes me want to protect you even more." He wrapped his arms around me again. "So only Caitlyn and I know now?"

"Yeah," I dragged out, "about that. Caitlyn, Caitlyn's parents, Nick, and I think Jason." I glanced at him worried he was going to be angry.

"Really?"

"Don't be mad, Nick was over Caitlyn's house the other night when she brought me over. He saw so I had to explain. And I think they told Jason at the store. Are you mad?"

He shook his head. "It doesn't even matter to me. All that does is that I know now, and I will never let you out of my sight again."

I smiled at him weakly.

"If you don't mind me asking," he started, "what exactly happened tonight?"

I sighed. "Well, he came to the store because he wanted to meet you."

"Why me?"

"Let's just say that that night you dropped my bag off, well he's been a little pissy about it," I said hoping he understood what I was talking about.

Realization passed over his eyes which proceeded to screw up with anger. "So all this," he said referring to my injuries, "is my fault?"

I grabbed both his hands to keep him from doing bodily harm to himself. "It's okay. You didn't know any better. It would have happened regardless," I explained to an agitated Shane.

He huffed. "That still doesn't make up for the fact that the reason you missed school and now tonight is all because I dropped your bag off," he said disgustedly, pushing himself away from me.

"Shane Gray, you stop this right now," I said strongly – the strongest I've been all night. He paused halfway to the door and faced me. "Now you listen to me very carefully okay?" He nodded distractedly. "None of this is your fault whatsoever. It's never been your fault."

"That still doesn't make me feel any better," he answered, "but okay. Why did we go back to your house?"

My vision became blurry again as the tears fell from my eyes.

"Oh no Mitchie, is she –?"

I managed a nod before I broke down again, crying for the loss of my beloved mother. His arms wrapped around me again. He rubbed my back soothingly at an attempt to calm me down. He didn't have to say anything. He knew I just needed him to be there for me.

"It's okay," I sniffed loudly. "I'm really sad because we were best friends, but she gave up on living a long time ago. I'm going to miss her so much, but I think it's better she won't have to endure the everlasting pain any longer."

I stifled another sob in his shirt. "I'm never going to let him hurt you again Mitch. Do you hear me, I will die before I let him do it again," he said valiantly.

The creaking of the door made me realize we were still at the hospital. One glance at the beeping monitor sent me into an even worse mood than I already was in. Four policemen charged in with determination. Shane stood up slowly eyeing them with confusion and anger.

"Mitchie Torres?" the one in front asked. "We need to ask you some questions."

"Can't this wait for some other time?" asked Shane immediately protecting me. "Can't you see she is in no condition to talk to you?"

I took a deep breath, relaxing myself somewhat. "It's okay," I told him tugging on his hand reassuringly. I needed some sort of distraction. "What's up?"

"We need your statement on how you found your mother."

"What?" I asked with disbelief. "Didn't you already see her? She was in the bathtub when I found her."

"Why was she in your bathroom though?"

I read the eyes of the head police officer and instantly knew what he was hinting at. "You think I killed my own mother," I stated.

"What?" Shane yelled in outrage.

"Standard procedure sir," the officer said nonchalantly. "Unless you have a viable suspect."

I scoffed – oh did I. "Of course I have a suspect," I said. "My father, he's the one that's been tormenting us all these years and he finally took it too far and killed her. He also broke into JJ Records where he did all this to me. But he fled when he heard the sirens." I felt dizzy. Were they seriously trying to pin my mother's murder on me? "Wait, this obviously means you haven't found him? He's still out there? Or you're not even looking for him."

Shane squeezed my hand protectively sensing a breakdown. They haven't even looked for him. That is ridiculous. Someone must have told them who had done all this stuff. If they haven't looked for him that means he's still lurking out there waiting for me to happen upon him unsuspectingly. The next time I meet him he won't leave me breathing – I just know it.

The officers noticed my sudden change in expression. He said, "If this is true we will do everything we can to find him. We need proof though that he did these crimes."

"Is her body not enough evidence for you?" Shane shouted darkly. "Her father has been beating her and her mother for almost ten years!"

"Why haven't you reported this?" he wondered facing me.

I glared at him – I don't like you! "He threatened to kill us if we ever told anyone."

The officer started to reevaluate his first assumption. Although he didn't get a chance to say anything else as Dr. Newport barreled through the door with so much anger he probably could have killed everyone in the room.

"Who gave you permission to be in here?!" he barked at them.

The officers stuttered awkwardly.

"Yeah, that's what I thought! Get out of my hospital this instant! This girl has had a very traumatic evening, and she needs her rest. If I find out any of you get back in here I will personally kick your ass!" He yelled after the stunned cops. _You go Dr. Newport!_ "You too boy. She needs sleep."

Shane slumped his shoulders and made for the door. With all the strength I had I pulled him back to me. "Can he stay? Please Doctor?"

Newport scowled but nodded. "Oh fine. Just promise me you'll get some sleep."

He shut the door quietly behind him. Shane smiled as he returned to his seat. "Get some rest Mitch. You look awful."

"So you've said," I said rolling my eyes. "Will you be here when I wake up?"

"I'm not going anywhere," he said stroking my face, "ever."


	15. A Neverending Dream

**oooooh mmyyyy gooodnesss. this is the longest ive gone without updating and its seriously giving me the shakes. i dont like it onne bit! its just this chapter as not my favorite and it took me forever to write. its not exciting whatsoever. the exciting stuff is coming up in the next lots of chapters. and this one is just bland and blah and ughhh! im sorry its been this chapter youve been waiting soo long for. i promise i will have one up very shortly. probably not this weekend tho. prom is on saturday and im super excited!**

**other than that lifes been pretty good. softball is going great! and i watched the new series JONAS - looooove itt! everyone should definitely watch it! and omg. season finale of supernatural tonight. i hate the endings cause it just makes you want to watch them now! but i understand thats what season finales are for. that still doesnt mean i dont like that. grrr.**

**since ive taken a little time to actually write this story. ive got at least two chapters written and now all i need to do is type! i wanna say that ive finished one complete notebook and have moved on to another one! yeahh! it always gets me excited to finish a notebook.**

**and lastly, to the fans. i know you guys are probably ready to kill me since ive been gone for soo long. its been killing me too. but i wanna say you guys are amazing. i know im extremely repetitive. but i cant find any other way to share my gratitude with you. having this much feedback makes me want to start writing my own novel - which im currently trying to do. but really. all the excitement gives me more want to keep writing. and man you guys have some funny ass reviews. and some of yours are so long i just looove to read them! anyways, thanks again.**

**okay. im soo done rambling. i dont own camp rock. i dont own this song. and i use a bit of another song in this story. can you figure it out! all the rest is mine. enjoooyy!**

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Chapter Fifteen: A Neverending Dream**

_**I'm waiting for the night, drifting away  
On the waves of my dreams  
To another day  
I'm standing on a hill  
And beyond the clouds  
The wind is blowing still  
And catching my doubts**_

_**A neverending dream, a dream of you  
I believe I receive a sign of you  
Tonight I wanna hide my feelings too  
As you do and I wanna be with you**_

**A Neverending Dream: Cascada**

Murmurs drifted through my head like a dream. Or it really was a dream? I wasn't exactly sure at this point. I've been having the strangest dreams lately. It's this recurring dream where I'm in this deserted area with miles and miles of cracked earth spread out in all directions. I walk in one direction then stop and decide to walk in the other one. Eventually I give up since I never get anywhere. For awhile I won't dream of anything else, but the next dream will pop up. This dream is a little more tolerable than the deserted one. I am all alone on this trail leading up to the mountains. I have a guitar strapped on my back and even though I can't feel the pain, I walk in a way that shows I'm hurt somehow. In the other dream I give up, but in this one I continue on trudging through the weathered road leading me up into the mountains. I can feel that there is something at the top worth reaching, so I continued my tortured struggle.

As I near the top, I wake up. Well not really wake up but the dream just stops so I never know what is at the top of the mountain. It really frustrates me. Why can't I just figure out what's at the top? Then I start to think. It's not reaching the top that matters; it's the climb of getting there. Finally realizing the meaning of my dreams I start to feel my body waking up, starting with the hearing of outside sounds.

Incoherent murmurs from the outside world creep to my ears. It's the first sounds I've heard in a really long time and although I had no way to tell what exactly the sounds were, it still made me happy. First off because I know I'm not dead – well at least I hope I'm not. Second off because it means I'm finally waking up which I don't even know how long I've been out for, but it seems like it has been years.

I fall back asleep again, or rather I hear nothing from the outside world again for awhile. I'm dreaming of mountains again. I manage to reach the top of my mountain but as I'm nearing the top another mountain pops up behind it. I climb back down the side and continue on the same path I've been traveling. And yet again, it comes to me. Suddenly all I want to do is be awake so I can write these thoughts down that are swirling through my head.

"Is she awake?" The first coherent words I hear ring through my head clear as day.

A couple moments later someone asks, "Can we wake her up?"

"Thane wake Mimi up!" This last statement has me chuckling for more than one reason: one, I can hear people talk, and two, Hollace is in the room which has to mean that half the Clan is present which means that Shane is sitting right next to me. I smiled wondering if they could see the movement from the real world.

"Was that a smile?" someone asked excitedly – Caitlyn. God, I've missed her. "Mitchie, if you can hear me will you please wake the freak up! We miss you."

I laughed within my dreamlike state. Even when I was halfway between comatose and sleep Caitlyn was still her pestering self. I tried to crack my eyes open the slightest but an onslaught of bright light filled my peepholes. I mentally cursed myself for being too anxious to see all my friends. Putting all my pains and hurts aside I opened my eyes again – wider than before. Caitlyn gasped as did Hollace seeing as she was sitting atop my bed inches from my face. How could I have not noticed she was there?

"Mitchie?" wondered Caitlyn peering down at me her messy curls obscuring the view of her face. "Are you really awake?"

I turned my head the slightest to look at her squarely but wished I hadn't. A piercing pain shot through my entire neck – guess turning was out of the question.

"Hey Caity," I answered hoarsely. I never thought my mouth would be so dry but I guess lying around would do that to you.

Someone shoved a cup of water at me. I gargled down the whole cup – which really wasn't that big – in seconds. I looked to Caitlyn again ignoring the incessant pain. She squealed excitedly her hands squeezed together in what looked to be a prayer.

"It's been so long Mitch," complained Caitlyn grabbing onto my bandaged hand.

"How long have I been out?" I asked slowly not really sure if I wanted to know.

"Two days," she said guiltily.

My eyes widened in shock. "Seriously?"

"There were some complications during surgery," she continued. She saw my eyes widen even more at the mention of surgery. "They decided to go ahead and work on you seeing as you weren't going to be any more cooperative."

I glared although I couldn't be mad at her – she was my best friend. I did have one question to ask her. It had been eating at me since I've gotten in here. "I have a question for you," I directed to Caitlyn ignoring every other breathing specimen in the small confined area. "How come you didn't come see me first?"

A disheartened smiled spread across my friend's face. "Oh believe me," she started gruffly. "I put up a fight. You should have heard me I was about ready to race him in here, but then I decided he needed to see you more than I did at the time. He was a little confused, so I gave the boy the benefit-of-the-doubt."

"You're the best," I mumbled to her loving my best friend even more and more.

"Yeah I know," she said with a happy shrug. "We will definitely talk when we are _alone_." She whispered the last part as half my room was occupied with people. Until she said that I hadn't even noticed the other people. Hollace was sitting on the bed with me while Libba, Rylee, Bryden, Porter, and Jason were hovering by the door. Nate was perched on a chair behind Caitlyn, I waved at him. Carmen, Owen, and Stacey were monitoring the room from the corner. I caught Stacey's eye, a sad smile adorned her beautiful face. I gave her a smile hoping it said that I was okay.

I finished scaling the room my eyes finally landing on the only one I really wanted to see. He sat off to the other side of my bed looking exhausted. His smile grew as I looked at him. "Hey," I said softly.

"Hey," he replied back in his melodic voice.

My cheeks burned just from listening to his voice – embarrassing. I faced everyone hoping my cheeks would cool down. "What are you all doing here?"

They all started to talk at once, and although it may have upset any other person it made me laugh. My laughter transferred to Caitlyn and from there it was hectic. Everyone in the room was laughing and none of them knew why. Shane chuckled softly his shoulders moving up and down with his laughter. I wish I could be in those strong arms again.

After everyone had finally calmed down Carmen stepped forward. "We all have been waiting for you to wake up."

My happy mood suddenly took a drastic turn. "Well that wouldn't have been a problem if I didn't have to go through surgery. Who told them to do it anyway? I thought they needed some sort of parents consent do to that stuff."

Carmen raised her hand. "Since I am a nurse I decided it was in your best interest to get the surgeries."

"Surgeries," I squeaked.

Caitlyn squeezed my hand reassuringly. "It was for the best," Carmen continued. "If they hadn't done the surgeries they wouldn't have been able to find what was wrong with you."

"What was wrong with me?" I wondered becoming scared.

Carmen backed away slowly. "I'm going to leave the doctor to explain that to you. Mark went to get him the minute you woke up. He should be back here anytime."

As if on cue Dr. Newport walked through the open door with a smile the size of Asia on his face. Mark followed in right behind him. His smile widened at the sight of me if that was even possible. "I see you're awake, that is excellent. How do you feel?"

"Okay I guess," I told him not sure if that was true or not.

"Excellent, excellent," he muttered extremely satisfied. "Now I found a blood clot in your artery close to your heart while we were doing surgery on you, and that is why you had a few complications. I'm sure they've already informed you of this, but just to clear it up we got the clot out and your heart is working perfectly fine. I also had to stitch up your stomach and the cut on your left leg. The bandage around your wrist is to keep it in place. I've inserted a splint in it to make sure you don't move it too much. You only have to wear that for a couple days. Also you have to give your ribs time to heal, you broke a great deal of them and it's going to hurt to laugh or move fast for a couple weeks at least. So my advice to you: take it easy."

Dr. Newport closed his examination board and with a final smile he exited the room. I looked around at everyone else completely confused.

"What does that mean?"

Caitlyn squealed excitedly unable to contain herself any longer. "Well it took Mom awhile to get the okay but she finally managed to convince them to release you!"

"When?" I asked stupidly.

"Now!"

I was ecstatic but Caitlyn seemed way too excited. "Why are you about to pee your pants from the excitement? They are just letting me out of this hell hole." I mentally slapped myself for forgetting there were young children in the room – one strike for Mitchie.

My brunette friend frowned connecting eyes with Shane. I looked between them trying to decipher their silent battle. My excellent reading skills were slacking; I had no clue what they were arguing about.

"You didn't tell her?" she finally stated.

"She hasn't exactly been awake," he argued back.

Hollace stirred on the bed. I had all but forgotten she was there. I smiled down at her making a face that made her giggle madly. She fell back and landed on a part of my leg that probably wasn't supposed to be touched. I groaned as she was instantly lifted off the bed. Shane held the pouting Hollace captive.

"Holl, I told you you couldn't climb on her," he scolded setting her on the floor.

"Not my fault," she cried scampering to Mark. Mark took the crying girl out to the hallway, and as he went everyone else followed his suit. I watched as every single one of them exited my room – except for _him_ of course.

"Weird," I said dragging out the word. Wonder why they all left so suddenly?

He scooted the chair closer only to find that it wasn't as close as he liked to be, so he proceeded to forget the chair and sit on the side of my bed. He smiled – perfect.

"You look much better," he said smiling his perfect crooked smile. I swooned – how could I not?

"Yeah, I'm not as awful looking as I was before," I attempted a laugh even though my doctor instructed me not too. I wish I listened to doctors more otherwise I wouldn't have been in such pain. I will never learn. "What was Caity talking about?"

A far off smile appeared on his face like he was thinking of something happier than being stuck in a hospital room with a crippled girl – pah, how could he not be thinking of happier things. Personally, I don't blame him at all. I was definitely thinking happier thoughts, like me sitting with Shane his arms wrapped around me tightly whispering sweet nothings in my ear – yeah, that's what I was thinking.

"Are you listening to me?" he asked drawing me out of my imagination.

I blushed, embarrassed about being caught in a daydream. "Yeah sorry, I was just thinking."

He shook his head knowingly. He knew me too well already. "I was saying that I've had something I've been meaning to ask you for a couple days now."

"Okay…" I said awkwardly. _Girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend._ I shook my head – seriously my imagination was becoming too wide open lately.

Stalling was not a forte of his. It was easy to pick out when he was trying to find the right words to say; he would scratch the back of his neck then run his hand through his hair at least a dozen times. Right now he was on a dozen and one so I knew it was coming soon.

"Every year, for Christmas, my family goes on vacation. Laurie absolutely hates the snow, and now that she is pregnant she is always complaining about how cold she is anyway. She decided on somewhere warm this Christmas. I was wondering if maybe you would want to and if you didn't already have any other plans – which I completely understand if you do – if you would like to come."

I started laughing and cringed – ugh, seriously now!

"Why are you laughing?" he wondered.

"You're adorable when you ramble," I stated truthfully.

He rolled his eyes – he's been spending too much time with me. "Oh shut up. I even talked to Carmen about this and she cleared it."

"You talked to Carmen?"

He ignored my question and said, "Caity is going and so is Jason's girlfriend. You will love her."

"Way to completely avoid my question," I said sarcastically.

"But I'm still adorable when I avoid answering your questions," he said cheekily.

Note to self: never compliment Shane Gray again it goes to his head. "Oh you wish."

"Does this mean you will come?"

I tapped my chin thoughtfully. "It depends. Where are we going?"

"Aruba."

My eyes practically popped out of their sockets. When he said somewhere warm, you know, I was thinking like Florida or California not some gorgeous island in the Gulf.

"Seriously?"

He nodded with a laugh. "Yes, seriously."

"I'm so in," I agreed excitedly.

"I'm glad you're only coming because we're going to Aruba," he teased.

I stared at him. "Yeah, you're right," I joked. "I'm just kidding. Of course I want to spend two weeks with you away from here. When are we leaving?"

He glanced at the huge clock perched on the white wall. "We need to be at the airport in seven hours."

"What time is it now?"

"9:30."

"In the morning?" I had so many questions. He straight up laughed in my face. "At night? Gah, I've been out too long."

"Just a couple days," he said. "You just had a really long sleep after your surgery."

I laughed still a little bothered at the fact I had surgery against my own will. Isn't that a crime or something? The door creaked open noisily. My best friend's messy curls poked through the crack.

"And…" she muttered.

"She said yes!"

Cheering erupted outside the door. I shook my head falling back against the pillow. They acted like he just asked me to marry him – crazies.

"When do I get out of here?"

"Right now," smiled Shane.

* * *

Against my better judgment I forced Shane to drive me by JJ Records to see the extent of the damage. I was so persistent and annoying – plus I blackmailed him by saying I would tell everyone that Shane Gray watched the _Notebook_ – he had to say yes just to make sure his bad boy image survived. Now it took a whole other level of bribing for him to allow me to go in.

"There is crime scene tape up. That means you're not supposed to enter," he argued with me.

I opened the door while he was still driving. "I'll jump out if you don't stop."

He growled and reluctantly cut off the engine. He raced to my side and helped me to the ground. "I'm just bandaged not crippled," I told him slapping his hands away.

"You're not even supposed to be walking."

I paused to shoot him a look. "Have you ever known me to listen to rules?"

Knowing better than to argue with an angry cripple he took my hand and guided me through the shattered window. The damage was much worse than I remembered it. Almost all the rows were lying on the ground in heaps of broken records and discs.

"I can't believe this," I muttered breaking free of Shane and wandering to where the records used to be.

"I'm going to go check the upstairs real quick," he said. "Will you be okay?"

I glared placing my hands on my hips.

"Of course. Scream if you need me."

He bounded up the stairs two at a time and I turned back to my fallen soldiers. It makes me so livid to be back at this place and it still looks the same as it had when I was here. It's been three days since he went psycho crazy and nothings been done to clean the place up. I don't even want to think of what the house must still look like.

I sat down slowly taking my favorite Boston record with me. The case looked like it had been sat upon by four sumo wrestlers and then thrown out the window of a speeding car on a highway. I shook the remnants of the record into my hand. If I still had tears left I would have cried.

Instead I began to shake uncontrollably with rage. This was not supposed to have happened – none of this was. I shoved the battered casing away feeling disgusted with myself.

"You ready Mitch?" Shane asked walking back through the window.

I jumped at the sound of his voice. "You scared me! Why did you come from there?" I asked sliding the broken pieces of Boston into the pocket of my jacket.

"Come on, you ready to go?" he asked avoiding my question – he's been doing a lot of that lately.

I nodded, gently pushing myself into a standing position. Too much pressure on my sore wrist caused me to grimace. Shane charged forward, like one of those horses in a derby, picking me up from the ground – whoa there noble steed.

"Thanks," I muttered feeling helpless – I hated to feel helpless. "Let's get out of here."

* * *

We drove back to his house where, I swear, every single light was on. And I mean every single one, even down to the motion detector lights in the backyard and the little solar lights lighting the sidewalk to the front door. The children's excited shouts could be heard from the end of the driveway with the windows up. My curious look made Shane laugh.

"What's so funny?" I demanded crossing my arms across my chest.

My actions made him laugh even harder. "You. Look. Scared," he said every word slowly as he was fighting for his breath.

"I'm not scared, I'm just curious to know why your whole house is awake at one in the morning," I told him with a glare.

His laughter finally subsided. "This is the parents' philosophy: if they keep the kids up all night, excited and sugared up as can be, they will crash once they are on the plane."

"Oooh," I said understanding. "That's actually a very smart idea."

"They like to think it is," he replied parking his car in his usual spot. "I'm still wondering if they are a bit miffed in the head."

Rolling my eyes I grabbed the handle of the door. I barely had time to pull it open before Shane was at the door pulling me into his arms.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he stomped through the snow that had accumulated on the stone path.

"Carrying you, duh Mo-Mo," he laughed. "Are those drugs still kicking in your system?"

I stuck my tongue out at him. "I actually do feel one of them wiggling its way into my lower intestine. It's quite delicious if I may be so bold to add," I teased. Shane's laughter was cut short by the opening of the front door to reveal my curly headed friend – the girl one.

"Caitlyn!" I yelled reaching down for my friend.

Shane reluctantly dropped me in front of her only to be engulfed in a huge hug.

"Oh Mitchie," she sighed cutting off all circulation my body definitely needed. "I could kill you."

"I think you already are," I wheezed.

She immediately let go, a huge smile taking over her small face. "Never scare me like that ever again. Do you hear me? I can't believe I let you do that anyway. What was I thinking? I'm sure a terrible friend."

Carmen and Owen walked up behind her ceasing her rant of self-pity. I was grateful for that. Owen placed a comforting hand on his daughter's shoulder. "It won't ever happen again C, not that it's out in the open now."

"Mitchie will you come with me?" Carmen asked drifting off the a side room.

I followed her leaving Caitlyn with Owen. The room she led me into was a room I'd never been in before. The walls were a soft cream with a dark green template border. A dark green couch was pushed up against the left wall with a dark mahogany coffee table placed expertly in front. An ancient-looking grand piano took up the rest of the space – how many pianos did this family own, for god's sake.

My bum sat upon the rickety piano bench facing the yellowing keys. Carmen wandered around the room a thoughtful look on her face. I ignored her nervous pacing and ran my fingers along the scales. Carmen listened to me play a smile settling on her face.

"What's up Carmen?" I asked her, moving up and down the keyboard without looking.

She sighed heavily. "I don't know how to put this. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I knew your mother very well and to think she passed that way… it makes me sick."

I nodded focusing back on the music. If I looked at her much longer it was going to be much harder to concentrate on playing.

"Owen and I have been talking and we think it's best for you to come live with us when you get back from vacation."

My fingers stumbled on the last note emitting a painfully irritating sound. "What?"

"I know it's not the best idea but it's all we could think of to keep you safe. Plus since your mom is gone and your that is MIA, they would most likely throw you into child services and we can't have that happen. Your life is here with us. That's why we want to adopt you."

Adopt was barely out of her mouth before I was flying at her in the strongest hug I could muster at the moment.

"Yes, yes, a hundred times yes!" I shouted gleefully.

"You want too?"

"You act surprised," I told her with a laugh. "Of course I want too. I wouldn't want to live with anyone else."

Carmen smiled. "Great! Owen and I will take care of everything while you're gone. We will set up a date for the funeral and everything so you don't have to worry. We will work on the adoption papers too."

I hugged her again. "Thank you so much. You're the best ever."

"One last thing," she said pulling back from the hug. She pulled out a thin envelope from her back pocket and handed it to me. The light from the hallway caught the glint of the pen on the paper. My heart stuttered at the sight of my mother's messy scrawl. "She told me to give you this if something ever happened. Read it alone," was her last piece of advice.

Caitlyn ran into the room yelling, "Mitchie! We're leaving! Come on!"

I mouthed a thank you to Carmen as I let my overexcited friend drag me out of the room envelope still in hand. Good thing Caity was pulling me otherwise I wouldn't have been able to move from the shock. As if my good mood hadn't lasted long enough something had to go and ruin my spirits.

**

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amazing. sincerely amazing. not my favorite chapter but the better ones are on their way! thanks again my loves.**


	16. Hope

**heyyy my dearies! i know its been long but ive been soo busy! and im rushing now cause i gotta get to my game. this is a filler chapter. nothign relaly exciting happens in it. just bear with me for a couple more weeks. im almost done with school and ill have tons of time to work on this story! and i plan on working on BP sometime too. so here we gooo.**

**disclaimer: i own nothing save for the things you dont know.**

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Chapter Sixteen: Hope**

_**Though I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,**_

_**Take this music and use it**_

_**Let it take you away,**_

_**And be hopeful! Hopeful and he'll make a way**_

_**I know it ain't easy but that's okay.**_

_**'Cause we hopeful!**_

**Hope: Twista**

"We're going to Aruba! We're going to Aruba!" chanted Caitlyn.

I managed a laugh even though Aruba couldn't seem to take my mind off of the letter that was burning in my back pocket. I wanted nothing more than to sneak away and read it, but seeing as I'm being monitored like a freaking fugitive now I don't see how that would work out. Sighing, I tried to let the letter leave my mind. I was just going to have to wait.

Instead I glanced around the empty waiting room save for the nineteen of us – yes nineteen – that were occupying the majority of the seats. Earlier Shane had informed me that Mark had a semi-private jet and we would all be flying together. I still don't understand how someone can have a semi-private jet. Actually, I still didn't understand where all their wealth was coming from. Mark must have a kick ass job to have all these luxuries.

"How long have you and Jason been dating?" I asked Stella, Jason's beautiful girlfriend. She was a blond bombshell with insane pale pink eyes. You couldn't look her long for fear of her beauty stunning you into stupidity.

"Coming up on two years soon," she said happily – even her voice was beautiful.

Stella was one of those girls you wanted to hate because she was so gorgeous but you just couldn't. Her personality rocked, and she seemed like the most down-to-earth person ever. As you can tell I was beyond envious.

I moved in my seat to glare at the back of Jason's head. "I can't believe I never knew about you. I mean I've been working for him for at least six months."

She shrugged her dainty shoulders. "I've been away at school for awhile, so I don't get to see him as much as I would like."

"Where do you go to school?" Caitlyn asked finally ceasing her chant.

"Ohio State University and I'm majoring in pre-med," she answered our unasked question – beautiful and smart, double envious.

"Really? You must be super smart," exclaimed Caity.

"You could have fixed me up instead of me having to go to the damn hospital," I said glaring at Caitlyn.

My friend held her hands up. "That was not my call!"

Stella laughed at us. "You two are too funny," she said. "I'm sorry to hear about everything Mitchie. I hope you don't mind but Jason told me all about it."

I shook her off. "It's kind of out in the open now. Just as long as you allow me to go in the ocean I won't hate you."

"I'll just look the other way," she laughed.

"What are you three laughing about?" Jason asked walking up behind his girlfriend.

I glared at him until he asked me why I was shooting him death looks.

"I'm still trying to figure out where our friendship went wrong seeing as you kept Stella from me for so long."

His guilty expression changed quickly. "You kept this whole thing a secret from me."

Oh he went there. "It's completely different and you know it. But fair enough, if you wanna stoop to that level go ahead."

No more words were said between us. Mark wandered over to our gathering and informed us, "We're boarding now."

Caitlyn whooped. "We're going to Aruba! We're going to Aruba!"

* * *

Shane had been right about one thing: the kids' sugar high crashed drastically fifteen minutes into the flight. Each tired body lay sprawled out in a seat with a blanket and a pillow. The whole scene was amusing. Not that I could really say anything, I crashed half an hour after takeoff. All the meds Carmen forced down me were finally kicking in. I vaguely remember talking to Shane about moons – at least I thought we were talking about moons – right before I fell on his shoulder passing out.

Dreams of mountains filled my slumber again. They were the same as when I was in the hospital. I couldn't reach my true destination but I had to keep working at it. It was around the point where I was walking up my third mountain that something, or rather someone, roused me from my perfect sleep.

"Mitchie, welcome to Aruba," he whispered twisting me so I stared out the small airplane window. The most breathtaking view was laid out in front of me – a picturesque deep blue ocean winked at me under the high afternoon sun.

"Are we in paradise?" I asked completely sure I was.

"Just Aruba," he laughed gently. "They are waiting for us."

With Shane's help I stumbled a little easier through the chairs. If I hadn't had him there to help me I think my sore limbs, which were even tighter from the flight, would have collapsed. Dr. Newport recommended that I use a wheelchair; actually, if I remember clearly he practically demanded it. Seeing as I'm an immensely stubborn person I told him I wouldn't be caught dead in a wheelchair even if I was eighty and crippled. Right now I wished I was so tenacious.

"How are the wounds?" he asked as we descended down the aisle to the open exit.

"Their awesome," I groaned through gritted teeth. My leg collapsed under me slightly as I came down on it wrong.

He chuckled and easily steadied me. "Want me to carry you?"

"I think I can manage." I turned my body to the outside, my face meeting the mid-day sun. A swell of fresh salt water engulfed my senses. I haven't been to many beaches but I could definitely tell that this was in no comparison to the ones I've been to on the east coast. "This place is unbelievable."

"You haven't even seen the good parts yet," he said helping me down the stairs. When my feet finally hit solid ground I thanked all that was holy for letting me survive the flight – not that I was really scared of flying but you know. Mark beeped the horn of one of the huge vans parked off to the entrance. He was hanging out the window beckoning us to hurry. Stacey shook her head from the driver's seat of the other van.

"Don't keep him waiting," Shane laughed. "He gets grumpy if people keep him from the ocean for too long."

"I'm crippled!" I shouted at Mark – another long honk. "Damn you legs."

Shane's laughter was contagious as he soon had tears falling from my eyes as well as his. We settled into the rambunctious van – apparently we missed the memo that all the older kids rode with Stacey. I squeezed in the very middle seat with Hollace and Jensen. Shane took the passenger's seat adjacent to Mark – lucky.

"Is Caity in the other van?" I asked.

Hollace nodded. "The with Momma."

I sighed sadly. Caitlyn and I hadn't had any time to ourselves since I was released from the hospital some hours prior. I really needed to talk to my best friend.

"Cheer up Mitch," Shane said swiveling around in his chair so he could face me. "The house is less than ten minutes away."

"House?" I wondered curiously.

Mark glanced at Shane briefly. "You didn't even tell her where we're staying? Nice Shane, way to be on the ball."

Shane glared at his uncle. "I don't see why it was that important. Mark's friend owns a beach house on Palm Beach. He lets him borrow it whenever he wants."

Seriously? I need to make some friends with that amount of generosity. "That is so cool!"

"Way better than a hotel," Libba added from a couple rows back.

"And it's right on the beach too," squealed Rylee excited. "You can run to the ocean from our backyard."

"Mimi thwim?" Hollace asked sadly.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Hopefully." I actually had no clue if I was allowed to swim or not. Not that it really mattered anyway. I would swim regardless of what someone told me. I'm in Aruba for crying out loud!

In no time Mark rolled up to a beautiful open beach house, and by open I mean windows occupying nearly every available wall space. If this house was anywhere but at the beach I don't know if I would have liked having all the windows – too many creepy people could be looking in at you. The outside of the house that wasn't covered in windows was a dark brown wood with a black trim. It was breathtaking in itself, and all I'd seen so far was the front.

He coasted the huge rocket ship looking van to a stop at the base of the wooden stairs. All the children jumped out of their seats pushing each other to be the first one out the door. Jensen won the fight – how I will never know. Shane slid open the door allowing an avalanche of children to spill out on him. I laughed myself to tears again as he hopped up from the ground and extended his hand to me.

"I need to help Mark bring in the luggage," Shane told me placing me on the sidewalk that led to the stairs.

"I'll help," I said instantly.

He gave me a look that made me think twice.

"Or not."

"Go inside and explore the house," he instructed. "I'll be in soon."

While yelling at Shane in my mind for being so bossy, I took my time climbing up the wooden steps. I ran my hand along the railing noticing how smooth it felt. Just by that smooth railing I knew the rest of the house was going to be simply amazing. My shoes clicked across the highly polished wooden floor – a theme I was starting to notice in the house. I heard the pounding of little feet overhead, racing to their rooms. I walked through the open hallway passing rooms filled with comfortable looking furniture. My sights were set on the pair of double doors in front of me.

Pushing through the doors opened me to a whole new world. Waves crashed upon the white beach not but two hundred yards ahead of me. I crossed the nicely done patio to hang on the railing. I let my arms hold my body off the ground and swung back and forth. The salt water filled my senses making it hard to concentrate on anything else. I pushed off the railing and raced to meet the sand. As soon as my toes sunk into the grainy earth I felt complete – relaxed. Maybe I needed to live in the Caribbean.

I moved as quickly as my injuries, and the sand, allowed. Soon my toes danced in the lapping crystal blue water. I gazed out toward the horizon taking in this magnificent sight. The view was the type of view I'd always imagined but never thought was actually real.

Seeing the sun reflect off the slow moving ocean changed something in me. For the first time I felt peace. For the first time I felt safe. For the first time I felt I would be able to get passed everything bad in my life. For the first time in a very, very, very long time I felt truly happy.

* * *

"You know what I just realized," I said waking through the door into the spacious room Caitlyn and I would be sharing for the next two weeks.

"What?" wondered Caitlyn distractedly without glancing up from her bags. She was pacing the room rummaging through all her scattered luggage trying to find something of importance.

"I didn't pack anything," I stated falling back on the double bed closest to the window.

Caitlyn laughed falling head first into her suitcase. I doubled over in laughter.

"I don't see how this is funny," I told my friend through fits of my own laughter.

She grabbed a bag from her closet and threw it at me. Good thing for my cat-like reflexes otherwise that bag would have ripped out every stitch in my stomach, and believe me that was not going to be a pretty scene.

"You think I would bring you all the way here without packing you stuff? What kind of friend do you think I am?"

"H-how did you get my clothes?" I asked sifting through the bag of clothes.

"You're not the only one who can break into a house," she said mischievously.

I grinned. "There's a reason you're my best friend. There's hardly enough clothes in here to last me three days though," I scoffed upon laying out not nearly enough shirts and shorts.

"About that, well, Mom demanded I take you out for a shopping spree and buy you a whole new wardrobe."

"What? Why?" I asked confused.

Caitlyn cleared her throat and moved away from her unpacking. "Mom says you should take this vacation as a chance to reinvent yourself per se, which I totally don't understand at all. I guess she thinks if you change it will make you feel better. Personally I love the way you are except your lack of style could use a little boost."

I laughed. Anytime Caitlyn went on these little rants or ramble it was all I could do to keep from laughing. "I don't think I understand anything you just said but okay. Thanks Caity."

"No problem best friend. I am going to go help Nate out. See you later love," she said slapping me on the butt as she ran out of the room.

I groaned in pain and in sadness. Pain because I'm partially crippled and she knew I wouldn't be able to chase her down if she did that. Sadness because I really wanted to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with her but she kept sprinting off every time we were together. I sighed burrowing my head between the two pillows. Even though I shouldn't be tired the mixture of jet lag and medication was starting to catch up with me.

Quietness surrounded me and it was a serene silence that relaxed me. Not those scary types of quiet that you always wondered if something bad was going to happen next. I reached across the bed and found my carryon bag perched on the floor. I rummaged inside until I withdrew my orange song book. I pulled the pencil from the binding setting it open on my lap. My own handwriting stared up at me. Words were crammed into every possible space available. I shook my head at myself. Why am I such a messy writer?

I turned a blank page and began to scribble my thoughts down. This was how I wrote songs: I wrote down everything and anything that came to mind of the certain song I was working on. By the end I would have enough phrases to work from and I would piece them together until I found something I really liked. So far this ethic has worked wonderfully. Plus while I scribbled down words it gave me a chance to think of a melody for the song. I hummed different parts I'd written down to see if it sounded good together.

This process could last for as long as a year to as short as a day or so. My song making lived and died on what mood I was in. With an atmosphere like this I could churn out song after song within hours. If only I had Carley to work on these notes with.

I leaned back against the headboard. A crunch sounded from my pocket. I reached behind me and extracted the thin white envelope Carmen had given me earlier. Until that moment I had all but forgotten about this burden, and now that it had resurfaced I just had to know what was in it.

Setting my song aside I gazed at my name in crisp red pen. Her usually patient scrawl looked hasty almost rushed as if she was pressed for time when she was writing this. I ran my finger over the ink remembering my mother.

Being extra careful I tucked my finger under the flap and lifted it open. I removed the floppy sheets of paper from its cocoon and started to read:

_My Mitchie Moo,_

_If you're reading this darling it means you are alive and hopefully safe and alright, that's all that really matters anymore – that you're safe. It also means I am gone which is okay too. My time was coming to a close soon anyway._

_I gave this to Carmen knowing she would keep it safe for you. Now that I am gone I'm leaving you everything that I had which may not be a lot but it's for you. I had a feeling my life wasn't going to last much longer and personally as long as you're alive and well I can live with that. Well I won't be living, not exactly I guess, you know what I mean._

_Darling, no crying now. Chin up, brush those tears away. You are strong. You will get passed this. Carmen and I had chatted a couple weeks ago and she told me you were doing well in school and everything. She told me a couple days ago that you had landed a lead role in the school musical. I can't even begin to tell you how proud of you I am. I wish I would have been able to see you in it. You will be so great. I also found out about your liking of a boy. I think his name is Shane. I'm sad that I will never get the chance to meet the boy that's got my daughter head-over-heels for. Don't roll your eyes at me, you know it's true._

_If you really truly like him – tell him baby. If you're as much as my daughter as I know you are then I know you haven't told him anything yet. Honey, don't be afraid of love. It's the best thing to ever happen to someone. Love can draw you away from some of the most horrible things in life._

_I know your scared sweetie, love is scary but more than that it's so much more rewarding than you could ever imagine. Carmen informed me that this Shane boy is spectacular – I think that's the word she used. Caitlyn is dating his brother or cousin or whatever he is and she said he is wonderful too. So I can only imagine you will be in perfect hands with him. I also told him to protect you which I know you're going to fight me on that you don't need but I like to think someone will be there for you._

_Ever since you were born I knew you we're going to be a fighter – and that's not just because I had to endure thirty-seven hours of torturous labor with you. You were born a fighter._

_I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love you and I will forever. Don't think of my death in vain. Although I am going to miss you more than anything else, I know you will be safe now. And if I needed to die in order for you to be safe than I'm glad I'm dead. Stop crying!_

_I'm almost done. Can you believe I've written this much? I certainly can't. Mitchie, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I wish I could have given you a better life. I know it's been a rough ten years, and I want you to know I will never forgive myself for allowing those things to happen to you._

_I'm not going to go down that road. I want you to know that I will love you and that I'll miss you so much. Know that I'm looking down on you keeping a watch on things._

_One last word of advice darling: Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game._

_I love you,_

_Mom_


	17. Sweet Seventeen

**i was soo happy that i hadnt lost my whole fan base for being so MIA the past week! look at this two day sand another udpate already. im soo very proud of myself. after i got all the positive feedback i just sat down and went to work. and im a week away from being done with high school forever. so i will have so much more time to work on this story. im really liking the next couple chapters coming up. your going to be meeting some new and interesting characters. i think you will like them. :) this chapter is decent i must say. i know you are begging for some smitchie fluff. and believe me i have it all planned out in my head. and its still going to be another couple chapters. can you hold it in for another coulpe more? believe me there will some major smitchie flirting going on. and maybe some other too. :) oooh dont you just wish you knew what was going on in my noggin! hahaha**

**reviewers. you are amazing. i got back to some of you this time must because i felt i had to share my gratidute. some of you have stuck with me from the beginning. and others are starting to follow. and i just love it! you seriuosly have no idea how amazing it feels when i get reviews and seriously i never thought i would get any. annywyayys. im gonna stop babbling. you all know how i feel about you. hahah**

**im off to dinner with my boyfriend. he is pestering me.**

**i dont own anything except for the things you dont know! whoop whoop! enjoy!**

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Chapter Seventeen:**** Sweet Seventeen**

_**Today, I'm gonna run away**_

_**And feel the sun throughout my hair**_

_**Finally free to be who I wanna be**_

_**Who that is, I don't really care**_

**Sweet Sixteen: Hilary Duff**

Even a bajillion miles away he still managed to tear me up inside. It's not like I haven't been dealing with the death of my mother, it's just that in my mind it's easier to not think of it and to not dwell on the fact that she won't be there when I return home. It was easier to not think whatsoever, so that's what I had done up until this point when I read my mother's heart wrenching letter. I honestly did not know she had it in her to write that much to me, save for the fact that she was writing her death letter. This idea struck me hard on the heart. She almost knew she was going to die soon like she was either going to give up or she knew something was coming.

I stopped there. I wouldn't allow myself to think of things such as my mother being a potential suicidal. It was too hard to understand.

After reading the letter for the first time I wandered to the balcony overlooking the ocean that was conveniently connected to our bedroom. I thought the soothing crash of the waves might calm my high-strung nerves and feelings – wrong. Instead of enjoying the ocean it only brought tears to my eyes on account of my mother probably would have loved to be here right now enjoying this spectacular view. As I thought about it more she would never get to experience the wonders of life anymore. She knew practically nothing besides that of the inside of our darkened and tortured house. She no longer had a chance to live.

This brought on another onslaught of tears and heaving and sobbing and bawling. I sat in the iron wrought chair, my head in my arms on the matching iron wrought table. Surprisingly it wasn't comfortable at all, but it seems my body hardly registers pain anymore these days so I sat on.

I wondered how it had come to this. How life had brought me to this point right here? How at this moment, my mother was not among the living, and yet I was here, in Aruba, sitting outside gazing upon this gorgeous view? How is it even fair or in the right state of mind that I am here? Who allows these unlikely circumstances to erupt? Without moving my eyes rushed upward staring at what would have been the sky if I was actually looking.

I grunted to myself. I'd never been extremely religious but I've always believed in God's miracles and how He works in mysterious ways. "I'm still wondering how this is going to work out for me," I told Him, my head still leaning on the table.

A ray of sunlight splashed across my tear stricken face instantly drying the water tracks. I raised my head from its home on the table and glanced out to the ocean. The sun was beginning to dip into the expansive water splaying colors of warmth and security across the vast ocean of purity. I sniffed back another sob.

About the time I walked out here the whole house was playing in the ocean. Caitlyn had shouted up to me asking me if I wanted to swim. I told her I was too tired and I wanted to rest some. Seeing that as a suitable excuse no one else bothered me which was highly surprising. I was starting to wonder where that one boy had run off too. Although I really wanted to see him I think it was better that I sit alone for awhile. I doubted I would even be able to talk if he was here.

During my long overdue crying session I watched the Clan play in the water: I watched Nate chase Hollace along the beach, I watched Jensen and James tackle each other into the incoming waves, and I watched Porter, Bryden, and Jacob plot ways to get their sisters into the water. A bitter smile had appeared on my face. I envied them. I envied them all. I was once carefree and young as they were – not anymore.

So the combination of jealousy, anger, hatred, loss, and grief brought me to where I was now – sitting alone with only the sinking sun and the crashing of the waves. I clutched the now worn letter in my hand. I'd read it so many times I could recite it to myself now. Just remembering my mother's last few words were enough to open the way for more tears.

I groaned pounding my fist against the iron wrought table out of anger. I winced but didn't stop to inspect. My body was immune to physical pain. It was the emotional pain that was starting to take a toll on me. I grumbled my dissatisfaction with myself. Why was I such a mess?

"Is it safe to come out here?"

I jumped, literally, out of my chair landing on the cold stone flooring. He had me on my feet before I could even register what had happened. The immediate regret for sneaking up on me shone in his beautiful eyes.

"I'm so sorry," he gushed backing away from me like he always did after he hurt me. "I didn't mean to scare you out of your seat."

I brushed him off semi-casually. "It's okay; you just caught me a tad off guard."

He moved forward knowing it was okay to approach me again. His mesmerizing eyes peered at me intently reading every emotion going on inside me. "What's wrong?" he asked softly wiping a stray tear off my cheek.

Damn the tears, they always ruined everything. Figuring I owed it to him, I decided to tell Shane the truth. I decided in my head I wouldn't keep anything from him anymore. It was just too difficult. Plus, in the back of my mind, I knew I really wanted him to know.

I shoved the letter towards him and sat back down with a humph. Trembling pulsed through my body as I was reliving every word my mother said in that letter. I looked up to see a smile grace across his face – he had just seen his name. I read the letter through his facial expressions. Tears fell from my eyes, all the emotions rushing back.

When he finished he set the letter down and engulfed me in his arms. The instant his arms wrapped around me I lost it. And when I say I lost it, I mean I literally lost it. I thought I'd been crying hard before. He held me tight knowing all I needed right now was someone to be there.

"It's okay Mitch," he cooed cradling my head against his chest.

I sucked in a huge breath of him and found that the smell made me cry even harder. I'm ridiculous. Shane must think I'm ridiculous. "I'm sorry," I finally muttered once I had a chance to catch my breath. "I'm being ridiculous."

"Don't even think that for a second," he demanded, running his hand through my tangled hair. "You just lost one of the most important people in your life. You're allowed to grieve."

"But I didn't cry this hard that night."

He kept running his hand through my hair; it felt so good. "I think reading this letter made you realize just how real the situation is," he whispered. "I don't think you really understood it, not that that's anything against you. I'm just saying."

I gulped – did he read my mind or something? "Yeah, I guess you're right. I never really thought I wouldn't be able to talk or see her again." And again with the tears.

"Come here," he whispered drawing me back into safety. "I know it's going to take you a long time to get past this, and I want you to know I am going to try my hardest to help you. I'm going to protect you just like your mom asked."

"What?" I asked – I don't remember that in the letter.

He pulled out a familiar looking envelope except his name was written in Mom's hurried handwriting: _I also told him to protect you_. I slowly extracted it from his hands. My fingers grazed over his name – there was no possible way.

"When?" was all I asked.

"Carmen gave it to me yesterday."

I searched his soulful eyes. "Did you ever meet her?" My mind raced at all the sudden questions uprising in me.

He shook his head – half the questions flitted away. "Carmen and I talked for a long time the other day. She told me more about your situation and Mom. Apparently, Carmen had talked to your mom about me so she thought it would be nice if I knew about it."

"Oh yeah." My eyes worked over the envelope still in disbelief.

"Read it," he instructed softly.

I pulled the similar paper from its home and unfolded it. It looked the exact same as mine except mine was now rather worn and torn. It startled me again as I started to read my mother's messy scrawl.

_Shane,_

_I'm greatly saddened that I will never be able to meet my daughter's first love, even if she hasn't told you yet I know she's crazy about you. I managed to sacrifice myself to save all her songs from _him_ the other day, and I was too curious. I had to read them._

"She read my songs!" I exclaimed – typical mother.

"Just keep reading," Shane argued pushing the letter back to me.

_I know she will be mad I read them but I'm glad I did. Otherwise I probably would never have learned about you. So I'm glad I'm noisy – deal with it Mitch. I went to Carmen and talked it over with her. She told me Caity is dating your cousin and that he was as sweet as can be. She had only words of upmost respect for you._

_I felt better knowing that Carmen approved seeing as she will most likely take care of Mitchie now that I'm gone. I can trust her judgment so in turn I trust you with the most important thing in my life – my beautiful daughter's heart._

_She is strong and probably one of the most stubborn people you will ever meet. If she hasn't told you how she feels it's most likely because she's afraid. She's never known real love before, and I'm to blame for that._

_Although I couldn't give her the environment she needed for a good upbringing she still turned out to be an amazing young woman. I'm sad I won't be there for her to watch her love grow, and to grow into an independent and even stronger woman. She may be tentative of things at first. Don't get frustrated, she's led an extremely rough life. I think if you give her enough time and love she will come around. Patience is key. Even though I'm not there I do have people who will kick your ass if you hurt her – I don't think we will have any problems though._

_One last thing, I'm pretty much counting on you to draw her out of her ongoing depression. She may not show it as much as she used to but that feeling is hard to shake off. And with my passing it's just going to worsen the wound per se. I think you may be the key to putting my daughter's life back together. I hope one day I will meet you but a long time from now please, I can wait._

_Thank you for listening to the babblings of someone you don't even know. I just felt the need to tell you what I think you should know before dealing with my eccentric daughter – sorry darling! You will be a perfect addition to her life. Don't be afraid of pushing her sometimes, she needs a good kick in the ass to get moving sometimes._

_Good luck with everything and I hope you will make everything change in her life. Thank you._

_Love,_

_Juanita Leigh Torres_

A laugh gurgled in my throat at the sight of my mother's full name. She always thought she had the coolest name. Along with the laughter, tears were coming out of my eyes as fast as I could blink – but for good reasons. Mom always knew how to make the best out of every situation.

"I'm going to miss her so much," I cried shoving the last remaining pieces of my mother's life away from me.

Shane embraced me already succumbing to the orders of my mother. "I will miss her too," he stated. "Juanita sounded like a major character."

Through my watery haze I managed a very weird sounding laugh. "God she had a name on her didn't she? She loved it too; every possible time her name could come up she would flaunt it," I sighed remembering a specific time where the two of us had been grocery shopping – classic.

Suddenly, he picked me up out of the cold chair and carried me across the bedroom leaving all thoughts of grocery store awkwardness on the balcony.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a watery giggle.

"We, my beautiful girl, are going to have some fun. Tonight we are starting your new life as Mitchie Leigh Torres the Unbreakable," he said dramatically whisking me through the open corridors.

"How do you know my middle name?" I asked.

He grinned and kept on. I sighed staying silent. I knew better than to ask any more questions – they weren't going to be answered anytime soon. I did ask him to set me down which he refused. So I glared out the ceiling high windows and watch the sun sink even further into the ocean. He stopped at the top of the stairs setting me back on my feet.

"Wait here a moment," he said and disappeared down the stairs.

I listened to his distant footsteps but soon grew bored. My legs were becoming stiff so I decided to wander around the landing. My eyes caught the sight of an older looking photograph. Upon closer inspection I noticed it was a picture of the Clan from the much earlier days. I instantly picked out Shane; he had to be around eight or nine. He was at the feet of an older man with the same easygoing smile and carefree eyes – his father. I brushed some collected dust away to get a better look.

"Ready!" he shouted from below. The sudden noise caused me to knock over a vase full of plastic flowers. Thank God the plastic flowers were in a plastic vase. I replaced the strew flowers and walked to the top of the stairs.

I descended down them one step at a time. I found out it still hurt my leg too much to bend it back. The goofy grin on his face had me wondering what was going on, so I asked. His grin only grew wider with every step closer to him I took. My heart skipped a beat and I almost tripped down the stairs – is it my night to be graceful or what? I steadied myself on the railing and continued – that grin gets me every time. On the last step I leapt into his waiting arms.

"What are we doing?" I asked again.

"Can you close your eyes for me?"

My heart sped up. "Why?"

"Please? I promise to keep you safe," he pleaded with adorable sincerity.

I rolled my eyes. It will be the day I can't say no to that adorable pout. "Oh fine," I said closing my eyes. "This better not scare the living crap out of me."

His chuckle vibrated through my body giving me chills. I clung tightly to his neck as he walked. I tried to sense where we were going but the only thing I could focus on was his heart beating beneath my arm – and the way he smelled.

In no time he set me back on my feet. The softness of sand squished between my toes; we were on the beach – good inference!

"Can I open my eyes yet?" I asked grasping his hand for comfort. I still wasn't too fond of surprises.

"Not yet," he said, "almost."

The crashing waves sounded close. If one foot gets into that water I might have to unleash the beast on him.

"Open," he instructed with excitement laced behind his voice.

I opened my eyes only to be met with pitch blackness. When had it become so dark out? It took a moment for my eyes to adjust then out of nowhere… "Surprise!"

Lights flickered on illuminating every face before me. Confusion spread across my face. Understanding had not yet entered my brain. Different colored lights covered almost every surface along with balloons scattered around and food and a bonfire and … wait.

"What's going on?" I asked Caitlyn who emerged from the throng.

"I knew you would forget," she said laughing.

"Forget what?" I asked impatiently – what was I missing?

Caitlyn stopped right in front of me. "Think real hard now. Six days before Christmas. You know. It's Sunday. Any of this blowing up your skirt here?"

Six days. Sunday. Christmas. "It's my birthday!" I exclaimed awkwardly.

"Happy seventeenth birthday!" everyone chorused followed by a round of applause.

"It's my birthday," I told Caitlyn. "I can't believe I forgot."

She smiled. "I knew you would that's why it was so easy to keep this a secret. Although Big Mouth over there wanted to spill the beans to you."

I turned around to face Shane. "You knew?"

He nodded. "It was my idea."

My heart swelled – he was amazing.

"Caity told me a couple days ago, and I thought of this immediately," he said his blue/brown eyes sparkling in the glowing fire. "Do you like it?" He gestured to all the party favors.

"I love it," I whispered. "No one's ever done anything like this for me. It's amazing."

I wrapped my arms around him not believing how unbelievably lucky I was to have found someone as perfect as him.

"You deserve it," he whispered into my hair. "Come on let's party."

* * *

For the past two hours I gorged myself with piles upon piles of amazing food. Stacey and Laurie had made a feast including pizza, burgers, hot dogs, pasta salad, potato salad, and macaroni and cheese – my favorite kind. Surprisingly Julie made me the best tasting cake I think I've ever had the pleasure of tasting. She had even dyed the frosting green. I'd never felt more loved in my whole life.

"Presents!" squeaked Jensen hopping up and down on my lap.

My eyes fell on Shane. He knew what I was thinking. "Not my idea," he said hiding behind Keavy Rae which made her giggle.

I shook my head. Stacey appeared beside me with a couple bags in hand. She thrust a bright pink one at me. "From the girls," she said smiling.

Jensen clapped while Hollace jumped from her spot next to me. "Open! Open! Open!" she chanted.

I pulled out the first box wrapped in tissue paper. Jensen squealed again. It must be hers. I folded back the paper finding a small wooden picture frame colored on by Jensen herself. I think the frame read Mitchie & Shane.

"Did you draw this?" I asked her.

She nodded. "I'm smart! Picture of you and Shane go here!" She pointed to the blank spot in the middle.

I squeezed her tightly. "I love it. Thank you very much."

"Mine! Mine!" Hollace shouted digging in the bag until she found her present. She threw the small wrapping at me.

Laughing I opened her present – a pair of homemade earrings and a matching necklace. They were beautiful. It amazed me that they could make such gorgeous things and they were so young.

"These are perfect Ace," I said placing the earrings in my ears. "How do they look?"

"Bootiful!" she proclaimed.

"Thank you," I told her.

She sunk back in her seat, satisfied.

Libba and Rylee pooled together and bought me some fantastic smelling perfume. Keavy Rae colored me a picture of scribbles but I loved it nonetheless.

The boys went safe and gave me some money which I insisted they take back. For some reason they wouldn't allow me.

Stacey and Julie gave me a beautiful lime green and light blue sundress. Mark and Laurie gave me sheet music – could have used that earlier – with a twist. He wanted me to write down all my songs, and then give them to him to edit and go over. I agreed readily.

Jason and Stella bought me a new swim suit which I adored. Nate and Caitlyn created a scrapbook of me and my best friend, which I knew must have taken forever. I wanted to cry at how thoughtful and perfect her gift was.

And last but not least… Shane. He handed me a single envelope – déjà vu major. I pulled the thin sheet of paper out. One lone word waited in the middle.

_Later._


	18. My Heart Will Go On

**i just want you all to know you are amazing. and i am graduating from high school today in two hours! im sooo beyond excited. and you should know you are very special because i decided to spend my day updating my story just for you guys. :) now that im almost all done with school until next fall i will have time - hopefully - to work on this story more. i have some interesting ideas that i might be throwing in here soon.**

**idea #1: mitchie gets a new love interest. he wont show up until next chapter. but i think you will like him.**

**idea #2: with this new love interest, you have to decide if you want her with shane, new guy, or maybe even someone esle. :) its all in your hands.**

**idea #3: i havent gotten this far yet.**

**im just throwing stuff out there cause i like to see how you all react to what im thinking. im rushing this right now because ive got to leave in an hour and im not ready! ahh! :) but thanks for reviewing, you guys know i always am glad when you have funny things to write me. i am beyond excited to write the next couple chapters of this story so i have a feeling they will be coming faster. bear with me for the time being. im goign to enjoy my summer too. and i hope all you are enjoying your summers if you are already on break! and if not it cant be too much longer.**

**okay, well. this is an extra long chapter just for you guys. and i was thinking about adding more. but i needed to stop here otherwise i realy would have been late for graduation and that would not have been good! thank you guys for sticking with me through this story. if anyone has any ideas for this story you are always welcomed to suggest them to me! you never know i might actually use some of them. and i know sometimes i use outrageous and inhumane things like mitchie running 3 miles after being beaten but hey its a story. my mitchie is invincible. hahahah but thanks for all the constructive critism and awesome reviews! without you guys this story wouldnt be possible.**

**i am being so sappy. gosh grad is getting to me. ive been listening to HSM3 all day just for the affect. :) i hope you all are enjoying whatever you are doing! i cant thank you enough.**

**disclaimer: i used this song for the story because i just watched titanic and i love that freaking movie! and because mitchie is trying to move on from her mothers death. i also love it. duh. ive decided this chapter is dedicated to my friend beth. :) i also dont own any of the references to twilight. pahahah. god i wish. everything you dont know is mine! enjoy...**

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Chapter Eighteen: My Heart Will Go On**

_**Love can touch us one time**_

_**And last for a lifetime**_

_**And never let go till we're gone**_

**My Heart Will Go On: Celine Dion**

After I opened all the unnecessary gifts Nate, Jason, and Shane entertained the family with a couple new songs they had been working on. The collaboration of the three of them was ridiculously amazing. I was entranced their whole performance, actually I think mostly everyone was. Stacey was up dancing around like I'd never seen her before. Even Mark and Julie danced around the beach with each other seeing as Laurie was in no condition to be doing that much moving. Our laughter awakened the quiet night and I knew that the people three houses down the beach could surely hear us. I found I didn't care. It felt so good to just relax and have fun for once.

By eleven all the younger children were falling over each other drearily. It was a near fall into the dwindling fire by Jacob that sent Stacey and Julie into a frenzy. They shooed the sleepy children inside and ordered them to bed. Stella and Jason went with Stacey and Julie to help with the children. Mark and Laurie were the last to follow up.

"Would you like to take a walk?" Nate asked Caitlyn as soon as Mark and Laurie were out of ear-shot.

She nodded eagerly. "I'll meet you up in the room soon Mitch," she said with a knowing glance. "I love you. Happy birthday again!"

"Have fun and thank you," I said hugging her tightly. "Love you too!"

The blissful couple whisked away hand-in-hand. I gagged silently to myself. Too much cuteness at times tended to make me sick. I shook my head as I noticed Shane and I were the last ones seated around the now glowing embers. My head tilted to the left slightly careful not to disturb the serene look on Shane's face. I watched his eyes glitter in the soft glow. Breath caught in my throat – could his beauty be anymore breathtaking.

"Did you have a good birthday?" he asked startling me. I looked away from him, embarrassed.

I recovered by smiling at the fire. "Best birthday ever." Mustering up the courage I shifted my body in the sand so I was facing him. "Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me. No one ever does stuff like this for me."

He scooted closer trying to find a comfortable position in the loose sand. "That's going to chance a lot."

"What is?" I asked, my nerves skyrocketed – his hand was inching closer to mine.

"People doing stuff for you," he said quietly.

"W-why?" I stuttered – his closeness was getting to my head again.

His hand enclosed around my small one – victory. I allowed him to tenderly graze his rough fingers over my bandaged hand. Pleasant sensations coursed through my tired body. He lightly traced my stitches making me tremble.

"Because you deserve to be treated the best," he stated his hands moving up my arm.

I shivered and it wasn't from the cold.

He continued. "I'm going to make sure you live the best life you can. I will protect you from everything and anything. There is no way in hell I'm ever letting you get hurt again."

The furious passion in his eyes compelled me to believe anything that came out of his perfect mouth. He was so hell-bent about it that I had no choice but to believe him.  
"Shane," I started finally finding my voice, "I've lived through hell and back for the last ten years. There is nothing you can do about it now. That is in the past and it's over and done with. Believe me though; I won't be looking to fall back into that old life. But just to hear you say that to me, I don't think you understand how much it means to me: it means the world. I know I keep saying that but it's true."

"Mitchie, ever since you stormed into my life I've changed so much. Before I met you I was a know-it-all prick, arrogant jerk face that used every situation to put someone else down. The day you yelled at me over Carley – yes, I'm calling it Carley – stirred something in me. Some girl I hardly knew bitched at me for being an asshole. I knew I'd gotten too out of control for someone as sweet as you to call me out."

"One person cannot change another in a week's time," I argued lamely.

He sighed exasperatedly, his head shooting back to the fire to stare intently. "But can't you see you are the one person who has changed me. For the longest time I've been an ass to people and one day you come along and poof I'm nice again. Well maybe not completely nice but you know what I mean. I'm trying really hard, and I really am Mitch. You took me out of one of the lowest points of my life in a matter of days, that's got to mean something. I want to be the one that can get you through yours."

What is he trying to say? Is he trying to declare his love for me, because that's how I'm taking it?

Turning back to me, his face was much calmer. "I know I'm being really forward but I honestly don't care," he said passionately. "I'm sick and tired of tiptoeing around the issue of us." How he said _us_ brought an unsuspecting blush to my cheeks – thank goodness for the darkness. He leaned in until he was inches away from my face. "I know you're scared and I am too, believe it or not. My feelings have never been this strong for someone. I don't want to pressure you into anything but what I'm suggesting is how about we go out sometime while were here? Just the two of us. We can go as slow as you like."

Slow sounded so safe but I nodded nonetheless. "I am scared and not just because I've never dated before but because I don't know how to love someone. I mean I have really strong feelings for you and I guess that might count as love, but I have no clue how to act upon them. Then sometimes I just sit back and wonder if it's all too good to be true. I have nightmares about you not being there, and that's what truly scares me. I've grown dependent of having you in my life just from the past week, and that's why I'm scared. I've never depended on anyone in my life." Was I really just declaring _my own_ undying love for this gorgeous boy sitting mere inches from me? That was so not me.

I shifted my eyes to the dying fire unable to look Shane in the eyes after my confession. I knew if I looked at him all my worries would melt away in his eyes and I needed to stay focused.

He cleared his throat quietly. "I know you're scared," he whispered to me. He used his two fingers to turn my head to meet his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere though."

I nodded feeling a bulge of tears welling behind my eyes. He smiled and brushed his fingers across my cheek. All my worries immediately left me.

"Are you ready for later?" he asked using the silence as a conversation ender.

"It's later already?" I wondered my excitement climbing.

He pushed himself up from the sand sending a shower of grainy bits back at my face. I coughed violently which hurt my ribs and chest more than it should. He scooped me up and patted me on the back like you would do a choking baby.

"I'm good. I'm good," I coughed steadying myself in his strong arms – oh those arms.

"I can't go a minute without endangering your life," he said. "I'm starting to feel like that Edward character from that movie."

My laughter came out louder than I expected. He was referencing Twilight – could he be any more perfect?

"Carry or walk?" he asked ignoring my laughter.

"Walk," I said determinedly. I had a feeling he knew I would choose that. "Where is this surprise at? I think I can manage a good hundred feet or so."

"Well," he began. We walked side-by-side on the path that led to the beach house, "it's more than one surprise. You will get one thing tonight. Then you will get your other ones later."

"Later," I laughed softly.

"Later," he joined in.

We were already forming inside jokes with each other and I loved the feeling. I guess Mom was right: I needed to distract myself and loving someone was the perfect distraction. I cocked my head to the side to get a better view of him. A content smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

"What are you looking at?" he asked without having to turn.

Usually I would have blushed and turned away with shame. But I was going to try this new thing. I think it's called confidence. I decided this all of five seconds ago too. No more blushing Mitchie for a long time, at least I hoped.

"You," I stated simply – it was the truth.

"Like what you see?" he smirked reaching the stairs first.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I said back – was I really flirting, really?

The crinkle in his eyes from smiling proved to be a weakness for me. I felt myself swooning again. "Feisty, I like them with a little edge."

We stopped outside mine and Caitlyn's room my eyes still rolling from his comment. Blocking my entrance to the room, he grinned goofily at me.

"You're a little excited," I chuckled. "Does this surprise benefit you in anyway?"

He put his hand across his heart. "I can't believe you would even think I would do something like that. I'm appalled," he proclaimed.

"Save the drama for the musical." Oh, I was good.

Grinning like the fool he was he pushed open the door. "You may enter my lady," he said bowing.

_What a doof_, I thought. I entered the room – at his request – not knowing what to expect. The room looked the same as I had left it earlier. Shane crept up behind me and gave me a little nudge towards the bed. Panic raced in my heart. Is this my birthday present – him getting me in bed?

I quickly shook that ridiculous idea aside for two reasons: one it was ridiculous and two because of what lay on the bed.

"No way," I whispered cradling Carley. "How did you get her here?"

"I brought it," he said obviously. "Look closer."

I focused my eyes on her seeing if anything seemed different. My eyes caught something at the base of the guitar. Carley's name had been carved in big, loopy cursive. I ran my fingers over the grooves. It couldn't have been any more perfect.

"Did you do this yourself?" I asked in disbelief, still basking in its beauty.

"Yeah, I thought you might like it."

I grinned madly. "And you said naming my guitar was stupid then you go and do this. It's just amazing Shane. It's so perfect."

"Flip it over."

Confused, I obeyed. My name glinted on the neck as beautifully as Carley's had. One word was etched into the wood below my name: _Believe_.

* * *

"I love you," Caitlyn told me for the billionth time that night.

I tried to contain it but my laughter seeped out uncontrollably. It was nearing two o'clock in the morning, and we lay wide awake in one bed even though there were two decently sized queen beds in the room.

"Why is it funny I love you?" she demanded.

"Because you've told me at least a billion times already! Plus you're acting kind of drunk right now, it's rather amusing."

Caitlyn sighed one of those sighs girls sigh when their blissful. "I'm drunk with love."

Laughter boomed from within me. The pain didn't even bother me anymore. "You know how stupid you sound right?" I laughed clutching my stomach to keep the stitches from popping out.

She squirmed under the covers. "I don't even care. I'm too happy to care about anything."

I rolled my dull eyes while situating myself to find a more comfortable position. Every time I moved my ribs stuck me hard making it almost impossible to breathe. Although the pain was still immense it was becoming more bearable. Half the time I didn't even notice it.

"I can't believe you told them all about my birthday," I told her after finding a relaxing position.

"I knew you would forget so I took the opportunity to do something special for you. Most of it was Shane though. I have to give him almost all the credit."

Thinking about Shane made my insides tingle. After he gave me my present – or rather Carley a little more vamped – I started on the melody that had been strumming through my head since the hospital. He greatly approved of the new song saying it was extremely deep and emotional. Honestly I don't know how he got that much out of only my melody – I didn't even have lyrics yet.

"Did you know he was going to do that to Carley?"

"He may have mentioned it," she said aloofly.

"So does that mean he's mentioned the other presents too?"

"You're getting more presents?" Caity asked loudly – my friend sucked at playing dumb.

"You need to work on your acting, you're quite terrible."

I felt her shrug under the covers. "Oh well. We need to talk about more important stuff anyway."

"Like what?" I asked not particularly liking the direction this conversation was heading.

"Like how I haven't had a chance to talk to you at all in like seven days!" she said dramatically. "How are you doing?" Even though she didn't have to ask, I knew exactly what she was referring too.

I paused a moment too long. "Fine," I said.

Caitlyn shifted so she was lying on her side propped up by her elbow. "Don't lie to me."

I sighed. One bad thing about best friends is they always know when you're lying to them. It's like this built in radar they have that goes off at every infraction of false information. "Every day is easier but is still hard. Sometimes I think if I was there it wouldn't have happened at all."

"Mitchie," Caitlyn interrupted abruptly. "You can't what-if yourself to death. It was going to happen eventually, and I know that sounds terrible. But you and I both know it's true. Your mom was a fighter but you can only fight for so long and so hard."

"I know it just sucks."

"How are you feeling?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"I'm okay, a little sore in places but that's never bothered me before," I tried a smile.

She shook her head. "You're nuts, you know that right? I'm really starting to think you're invincible or just a cat with nine lives."

I laughed. "You're ridiculous sometimes."

She fell back against the bed peering up at the darkened ceiling. "Whatever Mitchie," she laughed quietly. "I still think you are. I mean how else could you escape so many times and not be killed. It just blows my mind. My best friend is a wizard or a witch or something like that – superman maybe."

Rolling my eyes I decided it was a time for a change of subject. "What are we doing tomorrow?"

"Hopefully going in the ocean," my friend said tiredly. Her love high was slowly catching up to her. "Actually we need to go shopping. We're buying you a new wardrobe remember?"

"Oh yeah," I answered sadly – I liked the clothes I had now. "But can we pass over the too cutesy girl stuff. That's you not me."

She nodded and suddenly clapped her hands together. "I completely forgot! We have to help the Moms get ready for their big Christmas party. Nate told me half the island is always invited to the party. It's obviously a big to-do around here."

I nodded. "As long as I don't have to eat fruit cake I'm all in."

Caitlyn yawned. "I'm sure they won't force feed it to you, but it would be hilarious to watch them try. I don't think they've ever seen a cripple run away."

I hit her in the arm which she yelped at.

"Uncalled for," she moaned rubbing her arm.

"Cripple girls still got the muscles," I boasted showing off my arms.

Caitlyn pushed me gently with a laugh. "I'm getting tired."

"I'm practically asleep already," I joked hiding my face in the fluffy pillow. "Talk to you in the morning then?"

"Love you," she said snuggling up to me.

"Love you too," I whispered – and then I was gone.

* * *

Ever since they shoved me in that mental crippling place they call a hospital it seems I get tired more easily and stay tired all the time. Stella told me it was just the effects of my meds and from being tossed around too much. She also kept reminding me I did have surgery only five days ago which resulted in some of my tiredness. I told her I was never going to another hospital again as long I had her around. She had laughed telling me she would hopefully work in a hospital one day. I quickly told her I would never go see her again then.

Stella, Caitlyn, and I were currently walking along the boardwalk strip ogling at all the pretty and far too expensive things hanging in the windows of the shops. We decided to come out here to try and shop for some clothes but once we started to walk around we found we were too tired to even walk into a store and try on clothes. I blamed my tiredness on the meds I was forced to take although there was another reason for our sluggishness.

Our entire morning – which started at 7:30, ridiculous – and a good chunk of the afternoon was dedicated to helping the preparations for the Bangin' Christmas Bash – yes that is its actually name. Not to mention that the Moms are also hosting the neighborhood party tonight, that was a whole other story. The Moms put us girls on menu and invitation duty. Once Stacey found out my handwriting was a bit subpar she sat me in front of the computer to look up good caterers and a perfect location. Stacey told me they never have the party in the same location for at least two years. She said it makes people want to come more to see the new venue.

I spent the better half of my day sitting in an ancient chair staring at a screen that made my eyes fuzzy. I couldn't concentrate. My concentration might have been scattered for Shane had been working outside on building something for tonight with his shirt off. It was enough with just his shirt off to be a distraction but to see him chop up wood with his muscular arms – it's making me hot just thinking about it again.

Around 4:30 the Moms allowed us a break to go shopping and explore the small beach town area. We were to be back around 7 o'clock for the big dinner with the neighbors. I was mighty thankful we didn't have to help out with any of those preparations today.

We were exhausted within fifteen minutes of our free time that we stopped at a small bistro café to rest. We sat outside in the cool breeze snacking on bread and sipping delicious strawberry lemonades. While we were relaxing we took this opportunity to ask Stella what to expect at the dinner.

"Well," she began after a sip of lemonade, "these three families come over for dinner and to hang out. All the parents have known each other since they were little kids and vacationing on this very same beach many, many years ago. Now they all have children and it's a tradition for them all the meet up every Christmas."

"The families come from all over the world and are all very well off. The Chatzi's are an ancient Greek family that's inherited butt loads of cash from the fishing industry there. The Abbott's are Australian natives whom own one of the biggest fuel empires in the outback. And the Peppercorn's own the biggest producing farm in all of Iowa."

"So, basically they are all extremely rich," inferred Caitlyn after a bite of cinnamon raisin bread.

"Do they all have kids?" I asked.

Stella nodded. "Peppercorn's have the most with eight. I swear farm families populate so much it's just ridiculous. Abbott's have three, and Chatzi's have five."

The numbers quickly added up. "Forty-one people!" I exclaimed. "That's crazy!"

"That's not even counting extras either," Stella said. "Usually they bring friends along too."

Caitlyn's mouth hung open in fear. "How are they all going to fit in the house? I know the house is big but I don't think it's that big!"

Stella shrugged. "It's a tight squeeze but it works. Plus by the time they all arrive you won't even notice how many of them are actually there. Dinner is the only thing we all do together, and then everyone branches off to do other things. It's really not as bad as your thinking it's going to be. Once you see these boys' that's all you're going to be able to focus on anyway."

The mention of boys caught Caity's and my attention. Stella leaned in close acknowledging us to do the same. "Each boy looks like he should be on the cover of a high fashion magazine. You're lucky if you don't faint at the first sight of them."

"Why did you faint?"

"No, but I've seen it happen to one of the Abbott's girlfriends. It's the Peppercorn boys' that blow your mind. There's this one in particular that will stop your heart."

Caitlyn squealed like she was a single girl again completely forgetting she had a gorgeous boyfriend waiting for her at home. "This is going to be an exciting night."

"Oh," Stella said falling back into her chair, "you are in for a treat."

* * *

We arrived back at the house in the midst of a potential breakdown with Laurie. According to Jason the pregnancy hormones were oozing out of her like a volcano gushing lava. I steered clear of the kitchen, hormonal women were so not my forte. Caitlyn and I wandered to the dining room which was one of the worst decisions of my life.

Stacey swooped down on us faster than Shane could look at himself in the mirror. "Can you girls please round up the young ones and get them dressed for dinner?" she demanded, awkwardly balancing a stack full of plates and silverware in her arms. "They've all been outside playing and everyone is coming in forty minutes. And were nowhere near ready. Food is still waiting to be heated up. The sides are still unfinished in their bowls…" Stacey continued rambling as she shuffled around the room setting up places. Caitlyn and I stared after her, confusion covering out faces.

"So I'll get the girls you get the boys," I suggested facing my even more confused friend.

She nodded. "Race you!" Caitlyn took off down the hallway.

"Oh she's dirty," I muttered, "wanting to race a cripple. Ridiculous!"

I found all of the girls hanging out in Rylee and Libba's room – hair still dripping wet from their adventures in the ocean.

"Mitchie!" the girls screamed upon seeing me lingering awkwardly at the door.

"Time to get ready for the big dinner!" I told them crossing the room and falling on the bed between them all.

Libba hopped off and raced to the armoire. She shoved her body halfway in there I thought she was actually going to climb in for a second. She reappeared seconds later with a handful of colorful dresses dangling from her arms. She tossed each girl a brightly colored dress before retreating to the bathroom herself.

"Dresses?" I gulped helping Keavy Rae out of her wet swim suit.

Rylee nodded freely stripping down to her bare skin. I turned away with a blush. "Mom says we need to look decent for the events tonight."

"It's just dinner isn't it?"

Rylee gave me a look as she moved over to help Jensen who was struggling with her bow. "It's not just any dinner. It's a dinner with our parents' friends, some very rich friends. We always need to be on our best behavior when they are over."

"Sometimes I wonder if you are older than you really are," I told Rylee. She smiled appreciatively at me. "Done, now brush your hair sweetie," I instructed Keavy Rae.

Trying to show up the friends was how I took this event, as Rylee called it. A little parental rivalry never ceased to entertain me. I just hope I wasn't going to have to wear –.

An article of clothing hit me in the face. It fell off revealing my best friend smiling evilly at me. My eyes dove to the silky material resting on my arms.

– a dress.

* * *

A dress. Really? Did they actually think I would wear this? I know Stacey and Julie bought me it for my birthday but I fully intended on hiding it and conveniently never finding it again once we left the island. Seeing as how Caitlyn practically forced it on me, I knew I was in for a long torturous evening of uncomfortableness. The dress I was stuffed in was beautiful, lime green and baby blue. It was so not me though. I never pictured myself in dresses. Since this was the dress Stacey and Julie gave me I felt rather obligated to look like I loved it which was why I put on a huge smile as I descended the stairs.

The families were due to arrive at any moment and the atmosphere in the house was suffocating. Stacey, Julie, and Mark ran around the house scrutinizing every last speck of dust until the doorbell finally rang. It was like someone pressed mute: everyone fell uncommonly silent. Even Keavy Rae's sobs stifled. All heads turned to the door yet no one made any move.

I stopped a couple steps from the floor. I didn't want to be in the way of the families coming in. Shane's glittering eyes caught mine as Mark walked passed him to the door.

From behind me Stella whispered, "Ready to be dazzled?"

**

* * *

soooooooo! make my day even better with your ideas on this story! I LOOOVE YOU!**


	19. The One

**thanks everyone for wishing me good luck on graduation! it went exceptionally well! im glad to be done with school and moving on to college. :) and of course thank yo uso much for reviewing. i think tha was one of the most reviewed chapters ever. i think it may be from my little questions. and i loved hearing you guys freak out. it made me laugh and it really made me feel awesome. it just showed how much all of you truly love this story and you want nothing to get in the way of it. and when i said love interest... oh youll see in this chapter. :) am i evil or what?**

**smitchie moments are getting better and better. or at least in my mind. if any boy ever did this for, which is what shane does for mitchie this chapter, i think i would just marry him then and there. i wrote this whole chapter last night practically. i just got on a roll and couldnt stop. i get in these moods where i just cant stop writing and i love it. i have got some good stuff coming up too in the upcoming chapters. stay tuned for more awesomeness! good lord im getting cocky. i neeeed to stop.**

**disclaimer:::: the backstreet boys are the best. if you dont like them. im sorry we cant be friends. :) im just kidding but they are beast. probably one of my favorite bands of all time. welll. all references to harry potter are not mine. well i did write them but i did not write harry potter. and yeah. uhm. i think thats all! enjoy my loves!**

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* * *

Chapter Nineteen: The One**

_**I'll be the one...**_

_**I guess you were lost when I met you**_

_**Still there were tears in your eyes**_

_**So out of trust and I knew**_

_**No more of them mysteries and lies**_

_**There you were, wild and free**_

_**Reachin' out like you needed me**_

_**A helping hand to make it right**_

_**I am holding you all through the night**_

**The One: Backstreet Boys**

I swiveled my head to catch Stella raise her eyebrows at me. I stepped up two more steps so I would be right next to her. Caitlyn appeared on my other side dressed in an exquisite pale pink strapless dress. Her brown curls bounced against her semi-tan shoulders – she was as tan as she could be in the dead of winter.

"I think you're getting tanner," I told her with a laugh.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up," she whispered indicating with her eyes to watch the door.

Lazily, I let my eyes wander back to the door. I still didn't appreciate the extreme hype on these families. I was the type of person where I had to experience something to actually like it. Stella grabbed my hand squeezing the living daylights out of it. I stared at her in wonderment, this better be good.

Right before Mark swung the door open I caught Shane's eyes; he was standing next to Mark. A simple smile, that's all he had to do to send my heart soaring. The door creaked open and I was forced to advert my eyes to the first family.

"Good evening Chatzi family!" boomed Mark excitedly.

Excited jitters passed between the Color Clan. The first appearance of the night was made by a beautiful woman with stunning raven hair. Her thin figure embraced Mark and moved to Shane next. An equally beautiful man followed her in exchanging excited hello's with everyone. "That's Anxo and his wife, Lena. Aren't they beyond beautiful?" Stella commented quietly.

Following their stunning parents were five gorgeous children. Each wore the same exact smile as the last. The girls walked through first; Echo, Gaea, and Kier. Stella narrated each arrival. I was half listening; I was too engrossed in the fact that Echo gave Shane an extra long hug than anyone else had. She looked my age which didn't help the somewhat jealous jitters that erupted in me. First off, she was insanely beautiful with long black hair that fell to her lower back in big curls, and second, because she was touching my man! No one else was allowed to paw at him except me – not that I even did that, but still. I was definitely going to have to establish my place and very soon.

The girls joined their parents in the dining room which allowed their two brothers to enter the house. Zale was the oldest and extremely awkward. He held the same beauty as his sisters but didn't know how to use it; this made him even more attractive. The youngest of them all was an adorable little boy named Finn. He ignored Mark and Shane and ran straight to Hollace as soon as he saw her.

This concluded the Chatzi family. Stacey moved them all into the dining room making space for the next family to arrive. Stella sighed as the next family walked in.

"They are saving the good family for last," she explained as the Abbotts' and their three children occupied the foyer. Personally I think Birin and Amarina, the parents, were prettier than their children. Again Tempany squealed once she set her big blue eyes on Shane. She practically knocked him over. The action of these girls made me wonder what type of person Shane was to them. I made a mental note to ask Stella about my accusations. The Abbott's two other children were boys, Aidan and Elijah, both blue eyed and blond. They weren't as drop-dead gorgeous as the Chatzi's children but still mesmerizing nonetheless.

Once the Abbotts' finished their hellos Stacey showed them the dining room like she had the Chatzi's. Stella squealed under her breath as the parents of the Peppercorn's entered the foyer. Even the oddest stare in the world couldn't come close to what I was now giving her. She pushed me back around in time to catch sight of the youngest; Bradley, and the triplets, Cooper, Charlotte, and Cameron follow their parents in. Harold and Lucas followed behind them. They each had an easy going nature about them; I liked them already. The oldest one – as Stella informed – Garrett sauntered in next. He smiled at Mark and proceeded to hug him and Shane. This family must be the one that's the most down to earth.

Then it was as if the world had stopped and centered its light upon the door. Through the door walked the most beautiful boy I'd ever laid eyes on. He wore nothing out of the ordinary, besides his button up shirt which was unbuttoned at the top displaying his chiseled chest. I literally felt my heart constrict against my chest in delight. His tousled brown hair fell effortlessly into his celery green eyes. He shook Mark's hand, smiling. He moved to Shane and shook his hand too. This action seemed more forced than necessary. There was definitely some hostile air between the two gorgeous boys.

"Who is that?" muttered Caitlyn, her expression dumbfounded.

"Tristan Peppercorn," breathed Stella. "If I wasn't completely in love with Jason, and if I was a couple years younger I would totally go for him."

Tristan, I thought. His eyes flickered past Shane's head and landed on mine. His mouth pulled up at one side showing off two distinct dimples. A blush rushed to my cheeks. He smiled even wider – why did everyone find my blushing amusing?

One more smile and a nod to Shane and Tristan walked into the dining room with the others. Next to me Caitlyn whispered, "He was totally checking you out."

* * *

Dinner began smoothly. All forty-one of us were in seats and ready to be served. The table seemed quite empty after banishing all the children under ten to the kitchen where Julie and some hired help were taking care of them. I guessed the reasoning for that was so the dinner was a more grown-up event rather than complete chaos. With the little kids gone I felt even more nervous than I had all evening.

All the families talked amongst each other like they've known each other for years which they have. I felt secure in my seat between Shane and Caitlyn yet at the same time I felt someone would finally notice me and start firing questions.

Then again there was him who kept sneaking glances at me over his glass of water. It made me feel uncomfortable but again I liked the attention, at least from him. I'm assuming he put two and two together and figured out that I was here with Shane which somehow made him smile even wider when he saw me sit down next to him. I voiced this to Caitlyn.

"I don't know Mitch," she muttered to me. "All these boys know each other and maybe there is something more going on between Tristan and Shane. I would ask him about him."

I nodded. "Not right now, maybe later."

"I am wondering why none of them brought girlfriends with them," Caitlyn added. "I can't believe not one of them has a girlfriend."

As if reading Caitlyn's mind Stacey asked the oldest Peppercorn boy, "Garrett, where's Morgan at?"

Garrett, almost as good-looking as his brother, replied, "She's flying down tomorrow. She had a last minute presentation due."

"What about the rest of you," Anxo Chatzi addressed the Peppercorns' and Abbotts' children. "I know you all brought someone last year. Don't tell me the Color Clan are the only ones who can keep girls around here."

A pleasant chuckled rippled around the table. I tucked my head in embarrassment. The time was coming…

"Nate, Shane, I think you two need to introduce us to your two lovely ladies," Birin Abbott stated with a smile. "We all remember Stella. You're looking fabulous by the way."

Stella smiled appreciatively and thanked him. The boys' didn't seem bothered by the question at all; excitement was a better word to use. Caitlyn smiled and instantly began chatting with Anxo's wife, Lena, about – I actually have no clue. I was too busy dying under the attention of everyone at the table.

Mark didn't help the matter. "Mitchie's quite the talented musician too." Oh, I could kill him.

"Really?" Taylor Peppercorn, the father, asked genuinely surprised. "I'd love to hear something."

Oh, I was going to kill him. I let my brown hair cascade over my face so I could look at Shane without anyone else seeing. I pleaded with him. He smiled reassuringly. My heart skipped a beat but my pleas didn't falter.

"Now is not the most appropriate time Tay," Stacey said stepping in to save the day. Mental note – thank Stacey for the next century, and give her hug.

Taylor nodded understandingly but didn't back down. "Another time then." I thought that might be the end of questions and amazement of me, but no; they had merely scraped the surface. "What grade are you in Mitchie?"

"I'm a junior," I spoke for the first time that night.

"Which means you must be sixteen or seventeen," Taylor pressed. It was small but significant in my mind; Taylor's eyes flick to his son's just brief enough for me to catch it. My curiosity spiked and I made yet another mental note to ask Caitlyn about it later.

"I just turned seventeen yesterday actually," I said and proceeded to shove a mouthful of delectable green beans into my mouth.

"Really?" Taylor's wife, Niki, chimed in. "Happy belated birthday! We must throw you a party!"

Stacey cleared her throat. "We had a party for her yesterday."

Lena brushed her off. "We can throw a real party for Mitchie and Tristan. If I remember correctly Tristan's was only a week ago." Shane grumbled under his breath which further strengthened Caitlyn's assumption of a rift between him and Tristan.

Niki nodded excitedly. "Perfect, conjoined birthday parties!"

"This will be so exciting!" Lena exclaimed withdrawing a very stylish planner from her equally stylish handbag.

"How's the 27th for you?" Niki asked Lena.

"I was thinking later," she murmured.

Anxo put a hand on his wife's ceasing her writing. "You and Niki can talk about this later. We are enjoying a lovely dinner our friends made for us," he said with a sincere nod toward Stacey – brownie points in my book.

She smiled but not her usual peppy smile. She stabbed her peas violently and forced herself to look pleasant. I faintly heard Shane growl again.

This dinner was becoming more and more interesting by the second.

* * *

"Caity, let's go hide before they make me sing something," I whispered to her the moment dinner was excused.

She nodded pulling me away from the swarming people and into the quiet kitchen. "No male will step foot in here. I think you're safe."

I believed her. At that moment Stacey stormed into the kitchen dropping a pile of dishes into the sink sending them clattering to the steel bottom. I feared for the safety of those dishes. Caity and I stared unsure of what to do. She whirled around and spotted us.

"Oh, I'm sorry girls," her voice faltered. "I didn't see you there."

I took a tentative step towards her. "What's wrong Stacey?"

Her bright eyes whipped down to meet mine, a wild ferociousness about them I've never seen. "This always happens when we get together. The other wives always feel the need to show me up in everything and anything they can do. It's like they feel so much better about beating me out at something just because they are so much wealthier than I. _We can throw a real party_," she mimicked evilly under her breath. "Real party my ass."

"I don't understand why she's throwing me a party in the first place. I don't even know her," I said grabbing a towel from a drawer.

"It's just like them to do this. They don't care that you've already had a party, they just want to make something even more extravagant thinking you will like it better. They did it to Stella last year," growled Stacey spraying the dirty dishes. "I take it as their boys can't get perfect girls like mine do and they want our girls. So they try to lure them away with big parties and expensive gifts and their good-looking sons. I'm so glad Stella is so levelheaded. I know you are too Mitchie dear. It's just… it makes me sick. They have no morals, no heart. All they care about is themselves."

Caitlyn and I dried dishes as fast as Stacey threw them at us all the while listening to her long overdue rant.

"I know we may not be as wealthy but not all people are attracted by money. They are all money and power hungry. I still can't believe this. We're going to have to make our Christmas Bash even more perfect than usual."

I grabbed Stacey's elbow gently. She visibly calmed. "Stacey, we will help you as much as you need us too to make this perfect."

"Plus, you know Stella, Mitchie, and I don't care about money and what they can offer us," added Caitlyn sincerely.

"Yeah, you have one of the best well-rounded families ever. You've made me feel so much more at home than I've ever felt in my life. I couldn't ask for anyone better." And I really meant it too.

Unexpectedly Stacey dropped the dish she was holding and pulled us into a breathtaking hug. "You have no idea how much that means," she cried tears running down her face. "You two are seriously the best. Shane and Nate are so lucky. I will kill them both if they ever do something to you."

She broke away and wiped her tears with her towel. "Go now, I can handle the rest of this."

"But Stacey," started Caitlyn.

"Shoo! Go have fun; cleaning always takes my mind off things. And Mitchie," she said turning to me, "you may take the dress off now."

* * *

Taking Stacey's command to heart I raced upstairs to change out of the dress and into something more me. Caitlyn set off to find Nate leaving me to change by myself. The room was dark when I entered so I turned the lights on only to find an envelope perched against my pillow surrounded by orange lilies – my favorite.

Careful to not ruin the beautiful arrangement I plucked the letter from its comfortable spot. My name was written in his elegant, loopy handwriting. My heart quickened along with the flutters in my stomach.

The envelope opened easily. I pulled out the same type of parchment he'd used before. I started reading.

_Hello Beautiful,_

_I know, I know. Am I smooth or what? Just want you to know you looked gorgeous in your dress tonight – even though you think you don't. You looked utterly perfect._

_I'm sure you weren't expecting another letter but I feel letters are a part of us now so why not? Remember how I told you I had more presents I would be giving to you, well here's a couple more of them. Flip me over and follow each direction carefully._

I flipped the letter anxiously.

_Good job Mo – new nickname for you by the way. Now first of all please change into something more comfortable. Preferably something light and airy._

Dropping the letter on the bed I scurried to my wardrobe: a pair of loose white shorts and a tie-dye tank top – I think that sufficed. I danced around to make sure it was loose enough – perfect.

_You look stunning. Pick up a flower and place it behind your ear._

"Really?" I asked aloud.

_Really Mo. Good now exit the bedroom the same way you just came in. Take a right out of the door and walk to the end of the hall where you will find a cupboard. Once you get to the cupboard open it and your next clue will be there._

I stared at the piece of paper incredulously. I was really going to be taking directions from a paper. How did I not know this wasn't him? I spotted two words written under the clues.

_Trust me._

No choice now, I had to do it. Curiosity was always my downfall. Taking a right and walking to the end of the hallway was an easy feat. I can't believe I'm actually following directions from a piece of paper. The cupboard stood out amongst the wooden wall; it looked no bigger than Hollace. I swung the door open. Another letter with yet another orange lily was expertly place in the center.

_Get in._

"What?" I exclaimed loudly. "There is no way I'm fitting in this small space Shane Gray!" Like he could really hear me.

_Just get in. You'll fit. Trust me._

I glanced around nervously. Could he hear me? How could he do that? Was it like that diary in Harry Potter where everything he wrote down was answered back? But I'm not writing anything down – how does he do it! Against all my better judgment I climbed in. "This can't be good for my body," I grumbled tucking my legs underneath my body. I actually fit quite good – damn him for always being right. I scoped out the small space and my eyes fell on a paper taped to the wall.

_I told you you'd fit. Close the door, press the button, and make sure you have the orange flowers._

Closed the door, grabbed the extra flowers I was currently sitting on, and hesitantly held my hand out to the button. Closing my eyes I moved my finger forward and soon I was descending in this little box. The chains that moved the box cranked so loudly that I swear everyone in the house and the next island over could hear me going down.

Finally the box came to an abrupt stop. The kick from the stop knocked me through the door and onto the floor of the room I descended into. Straightening myself, I noticed the room was dimly lit by an array of lamps. A trail of orange lilies led me to another envelope lying on a small table. I grabbed each lily and pushed them into my knotted hair.

_You're almost there. Wasn't it fun in the dumbwaiter? I knew you would like it. Look ahead, see that door? Walk through it and count twenty paces. Go on now, beautiful._

The outline of the door was about fifteen feet away from me. The next room was pitch-black due to the fact I stupidly shut the door behind me. No ounce of light helped me with my paces. I took three deep breaths – I was going to be okay.

One, two, three… each step brought me close to him and that's what empowered my feet to keep moving. Nothing could get in the way of my love for him; not the darkness, not my fears, not even Tristan. It hit me then that freaking James Franco could walk into this room right now and all I'd want is to see Shane. He was the one; I knew it deep down in my heart even if I wasn't ready to admit it yet.

…Eighteen, nineteen, twenty. I stopped, waiting. Two very familiar hands enclosed over my eyes.

"You did very well," he breathed in my ear – dizziness surrounded my already foggy mind. "Just a bit farther, take a couple more steps and… you're there."

He released my eyes leaving me alone. "Keep them closed," he said, his voice far away. I kept them shut tight. My heart beat loudly in my chest, I wonder if he could hear it?

"Are you ready?" his voice sounded even further away than a second ago. "Open them." Flickering lights from scattered candles lit up the room. I spun around taking in my surroundings. Shane stood behind a glass window, smiling at me goofily. I turned seeing another litter of orange lily flowers scattered about the room. The romanticness of the room sent my head into a whirlwind of emotions.

"Where are we?" I asked.

Shane appeared behind me; I gasped. "Look closer Mo," he whispered guiding me between two lines of lilies – a path. The small path led to a stool with another envelope on it – I wonder how many trees were killed to make this all for me? I searched his eyes, he nodded.

_Mitchie,_

_You made it to the end of your surprise. It took me forever to think of something you would really like, and it was not easy at all. But I think I've found the perfect things. Put this down and turn to me._

In Shane's arms was the cutest, most adorable brown and tan Maltese puppy. I squealed in utter surprise, my hands diving to the little fur ball. He purred in my arms happily making my heart melt.

"What's his name?"

"He's yours, you get to name him," he smiled easily.

"No way, Shane, you can't just get me a puppy. People don't do that. It's just crazy," I said staring into the blue/brownness of the puppy's eyes – just like someone else's.

"So what's his name?" he asked avoiding my apparent dislike of him getting me a puppy, but honestly, how could I say no to this adorable creature?

"Jeffey," I said, the puppy barked its approval. "You like that?"

He yelped again. "Ready for one more?"

"Shane," I breathed, "you can't honestly have more. You gave me a damn puppy and my guitar. You've already given me too much."

"I wanted too," he said smiling still. "Now hand me Jeffey so I can give you your last present."

I reluctantly handed over Jeffey. "Close your eyes," he instructed. "Hold out your hands."

I did as I was told. He placed something stiff in my hands. Figuring it was okay to open my eyes, I did. An Italian violin lay in my open arms. My breath was taken away from the pure beauty. "Oh Shane," I sighed running my fingers over the stiff strings. "You shouldn't have."

"I knew how much you liked playing and I thought you should have your own," he smiled, his eyes crinkling happily. "I know how you like to name all your possessions, so I took the liberty of naming this one. I hope you're not mad."

Smiling elatedly, I gently rolled the magnificent violin over. My heart caught in my throat as I saw it.

_Juanita_

**

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i love you all! you all are seriously the best people ever. like i couldnt have asked for better reviewers. next chapter is dedicated to all of you just cause of your aweseomeness! ive used that word twice now. i really need to get off here before i start saying really stupid stuff. enjoy the rest of your morning, day, or night!**


	20. Live to Party

**soo i definitely just wrote a whole big kablash up here and my internet stopped working and i forgot and i pressed a button and it all disappeared! UGHH! i have to write it all again now. :(**

**okay soo. im soo extremely very sorry that i havent updated any sooner. there is no one to blame but myself. ha duah. who else could there be to blame? i blame it partially on writers block or writers stump. im not completely blocked i just didnt know where to head this chapter in. and i have to add this is one of my longest chapters. i actually think it is my longest one. wooo! i felt you needed an extra long makeup chapter for how long ive been absent. ive been doing other things such as writing in other stories and not and then writing agian. its been an off again on again kinda week. but now ive finally sat down and written this damn chapter out. its not one of my favorites. but it has some humor. i dunno not much. some smitchie. and its more of an explanation chapter and well... i dunno. youll just have to read it. it wont make you cry though! hahahah :) thats a plus right.**

**i think i may have mentioned in my last chapter that i was going to dedicate this one to the reviewers. and if i didnt im telling you now. im dedicating this chapter to all my beyond amazing reviewers. cause if it wasnt for you guys there would be no ECC. there would be no 20 chapters and counting. its just amazing to me that ive actually stuck with one single story for this long. usually people express no interest and you guys have just blown me out of the water with all the followings for this story. even today i received another notification that someone alerted my story. you have no idea how much it means to a writer that people actually like what they write. and you guys are amazing. you say you like my style and my story and my characters. and sometimes i just wonder if you all are on something. :) but really. to have such positive feedback from you all just it makes me want to write even more. its a writers worse fear when they post something that they wont get anything back. but you guys have exceeded my expections by 392. all of you that have been with me from the very first post to now. kudos. many many many kudos. and even from the ones that are still starting to filter in and follow. you have my undying gratitude. you have no idea how amazing it is. writers live and die on their critics and reviews. and i want you all to know im still here today because of you. its these stories that bring in reviewers that tell me im actually good, and because of that i want to write a real novel. and believe me ive been working on a few ideas for years now. and its just so hard. but knowing i might actually have people like it is what keeps me going. thank you. for everything.**

**wow. so. i need to stop. hahah have you all gotten the new jonas brothers cd yet! omg its sooo amazing! i was skeptical at first but man im hooked now. i listen to it all the time. my brothers are so sick of hearing it. :) you need to get it!**

**disclaimer: i dont own this jobros song. i love it though. and i also dont own miley cyrus song used in this chapter. its by far one of her best songs ever. and its not mine. :( i think everything else is mine. unless you recognize something that isnt... then it isnt!**

**TO THE STORY!**

**

* * *

Chapter Twenty:**** Live to Party**

_**You gotta live to party**_

_**Bust your move**_

_**Everybody's in their groove**_

_**Tell the DJ to play our song**_

_**Are you ready to rock n roll?**_

**Live to Party:: Jonas Brothers**

The small Maltese purred at my feet happily nuzzling his soft head against my bare leg. I smiled something I haven't been able to stop doing all night.

"I still can't believe you got me a puppy and a violin. I don't think presents exceeding over so much money should be given to one person. It just doesn't seem ethical. I'm not sure I will be able to accept these amazing gifts."

Shane placed a single finger on my lips silencing my berating rant. "Mo, they presents are yours. I'm not taking them back. It's out of the questions," he said kneeling down by my feet to pet Jeffey.

"I don't understand why you got me so much," I breathed fingering the stiff strings of the violin.

"Think of it as me making up for all the stuff you missed out on," he said simply although the meaning behind it was much deeper.

I looked up from Juanita sensing his easygoing tone. "You're amazing, you know that right?"

"I know," he grinned walking towards the door.

Shaking my head I proceeded to tuck Juanita under my chin. "Where are we exactly?" I wondered gently moving the bow along the thin strings.

The lights instantly dimmed and a soft cranking sound broke from the ceiling. Descending out of the ceiling was a similar microphone to all the ones I've seen in a … My train of thought stopped as I caught sight of Shane's exuberant smile.

"Really?" I asked rolling my eyes at him playfully – should have known. "How many of these things do you actually have?"

"This is my own personal one. I constructed it a couple years ago. Dad talked to his friend and he gave me the okay. Not many people know about it," he said gazing around the studio. "It's my pride and joy." His hands ran over the padded walls as he walked back up to me, grinning the entire time. He slipped the headphones off the microphone and placed them over my ears. "Play," he instructed, more like demanded.

"What?" I asked with an estranged giggle. The headphones all but muted all other sounds coming from the room.

He popped one side off my ear and said, "Play." He easily picked up on the incredulous look I was given him. "How about that new song you're working on?"

"It's really rough though and not even remotely finished. I don't even have a melody for the violin yet," I also added, "I barely have a melody for the song."

Shane instinctively ran his hand through my hair. The sensation seemingly calmed my pattering heart but then sped back up once it registered that Shane was touching me – so much for calming down. "Give me Juanita, play on the piano instead. Or I could go get Carley for you if you feel more comfortable with her?"

"The piano will be fine," I grumbled walking a few steps over the piano. I dragged the microphone with me which moved extremely easily through the ceiling. "I have wanted to work on some music," I sighed softly.

The cool bench stunned my legs making my hair stand on end. I left a huge breath of air suck in then let it all out. I touched the top of the piano grabbing a few scattered orange lilies and dropping them along the keys. Shane dragged a stool over and sat next to me. "Interesting technique," he said amused.

"I've found that if I make the piano feel as much as my own to me that I will be more focused," I told him. "It makes me feel comfortable."

"Do what you gotta do," he smiled grabbing Jeffey off the floor and settling him in his lap.

I ruffled his fur then turned to the keys. "I've already told you that this is going to be insanely rough so don't get your hopes all up," I sighed running through the scales quickly.

"You'll be okay Mo," he said brushing a stray hair away from my eyes. I shivered unable to process thoughts for a moment. "Take your time."

One more huge breath and I started with the piano. "I can almost see it. That dream I'm dreaming, but there's a voice inside my head saying you'll never reach it. Every step I'm taking, every move I make feels lost with no direction. My faith is shaking but I gotta keep trying. Gotta keep my head held high."

Falling into the spell of the song was easier than I thought. Although my lyrics were still incomplete on paper, the words were coming to me as the song progressed. "There's always gonna be another mountain. I'm always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle, sometimes I'm gonna have to lose. Ain't about how fast I get there, ain't about what's waiting on the other siiiide. It's the climb."

Shane moved from the stool, I barely noticed. The music overwhelmed me and it's all I could concentrate on. I continued, pounding harder on the keys allowing for the music to empower my soul. "The struggles I'm facing, the chances I'm taking. Sometimes might knock me down but no I'm not breaking. I may not know it but these are the moments that I'm gonna remember most yeah, just gotta keep going. And I, I gotta be strong, just keep pushing on. Cause…" It was so much easier to make up lyrics while I was in the moment instead of sitting on my butt and trying to think of something. I went back to the second verse deciding it would be the chorus. "Ain't about what's waiting on the other side. It's the climb," I belted drawing my hands up the piano.

Softly at first but becoming more pronounced by the second was a violin humming to life. My playing stopped altogether as I turned and found Shane moving the bow back and forth over the strings expertly.

"Don't stop," he instructed, "play that verse again. I'll play with you. I know how much you've always wanted a violin in one of your pieces. We're going to make that happen for you."

My amazement of him was growing profoundly bigger by the second. Who ever knew someone could be so amazingly perfect at almost every aspect of life? A simple smile and a nod from him sent my fingers back to the piano set on making this one of my best pieces of music ever.

* * *

Some hours – or at least that's what it felt like – later, Shane and I left his secret room. I wanted Caitlyn. I needed to tell her about Shane and about this amazing evening thus far. Somehow I couldn't process the fact that I've gotten so lucky in such a small amount of time.

We were walking hand in hand along the beach listening to the calming crashes of the gentle waves. The contentment I felt at this very moment could rival almost any other in my life. This being the most contact Shane and I have had – for an extended period of time – ever was doing things to me I never thought possible. I was surprised I was even able to stand or move my legs from the heat that was overpowering my entire body. Not to mention that the sea breeze somehow accentuated his delicious smell more than usual. It was almost torture not to want to push him down on the sand right now and …

I caught my imagination before it could run off in directions I wasn't sure I was ready for yet. Jeffey ran along ahead of us chasing the waves in a determined manner. Shane and I stopped plopping ourselves in the sand to watch the little puppy run into the shallow water.

Our hands stayed intertwined, Shane working his magic over them with his other hand. His even patterns left tingling sensations in my palm. "This is really nice," I told him gazing out towards the water.

He nodded in agreement. "It's beautiful out tonight, and I couldn't imagine spending this moment with anyone else besides you."

"Me either," I breathed finding myself being sucked into his bright eyes – like usual.

His hand reached over to caress the side of my face tenderly. My eyes closed without thinking relishing the feel. "Your song is really good Mo. I didn't know you had already had most of it finished. I would hate to actually see one of your songs really rough, if you could even claim that to be rough."

I laughed softly. "Sometimes it's easier for me to work on my lyrics and music while I'm playing. It helps me to hear what it sounds like and put words here and there. I'm more of a hands-on musician rather than just write the words than figure out the music to it."

"There's nothing wrong with that," he said. "I just, that song, I thought your songs before were deep and meaningful but you keep creating these beautifully constructed songs that show even more of your amazing talent. You're extremely gifted."

My smile turned up at him. "Thank you, I've learned from the best."

"I know," he chuckled.

"I do want to add more instruments to it. I loved the violin part and I would love for a huge orchestra to play behind me," I said spanning my hands out over the horizon, "and guitars and of course the piano. I want Nate to play the drums and Jason to play the guitar. And I want you to play the violin with me."

"Slow down there girl," Shane said laughing grabbing a hold of my flailing hands. "We can work on all that stuff once we get back home. Right now, this is a vacation and we are going to use that to our best interest. I will not make you play anymore music unless you really want too. This is a vacation and I want you to rest."

"I'll be fine Shane," I said shoving him. "Stop trying to baby me."

Shane began to laugh but was cut short of a distant call. "Shane! They want us to play a few sets of our new songs!" Jason's voice was recognizable over the low crashing of the waves.

Hanging his head, he shouted back, "I'll be right there!" He pushed himself up and I followed suit. "No, you're not going anywhere. I want you to stay right here. You've heard us play enough lately, you can stay out here with Jeffey and relax."

"Are you sure? I don't mind coming to listen. I love listening to you play," I said making to stand up again.

He shook his head. "If you come back inside it's only going to give people a chance to find you and ask you questions you probably don't want to answer. I think it's your safest bet to stay here where you're happy. Plus, I won't be long."

Frowning slightly I retreated to my first position on the sand. He knelt down next to me hating to see me sad. He held the sides of my face in his strong hands. The contact alone was enough to keep me rooted to the ground.

"Please don't pout, how about I will give you your own personal concert soon?"

Personal concert sounded extremely appealing. "Okay," I finally sighed in defeat, "just because you know I love to hear you sing you think you can bribe me with personal concerts."

"Is it working?" he grinned.

"Of course!" I exclaimed exasperatedly. "When does your charm never work?"

"I have a charm?" he wondered coyly.

I pushed him away. "Go sing and play before they get all angry."

He kissed my tense forehead and mumbled, "I love it when you get all bothered." He was gone before I had a chance to even mutter a goodbye.

I sighed peacefully welcoming some much needed silence and alone time. Jeffey chirped from the ocean and galloped back to my side. He hopped right onto my leg getting sand grit and water all over my bare legs. He was too adorable to get mad at that I just scratched his belly which he replied with an excited grumble. Jeffey popped up again and wandered back toward the water's edge daring himself to jump back in. "Jeffey be careful," I called to the daring pup.

Beach sounds were the perfect lullaby. I wish I could bottle of all the smells and sounds and keep them for when I'm feeling down. Or maybe I'll just move to the beach when I'm older. I would miss the snow too much. I like my seasons.

"This spot taken?" a voice asked from behind me.

I jumped – literally – slipping on the slick sand. Tristan Peppercorn lowered himself down on the sand next to me, a killer smile on his lips – could he be anymore good-looking?

"Uh, n-no," I stuttered – smooth Mitchie, real smooth. My hand rushed to my hair, catching a piece and twirling it to give me something to do.

He caught sight of this and chuckled. Jeffey whooped from the waves. "Cute puppy, is he yours?"

I nodded. "Shane got him for my birthday," I said proudly.

"That Shane always knew how to charm," he muttered not meaning for me to hear.

"What?" I asked.

"What's his name?" he asked quickly, ignoring my question.

"Jeffey," I told him. Jeffey must have heard me because he came bounding back to me. He stopped short of my feet and shook his body to rid his fur of all the excess water.

"Jeffey!" I scolded the puppy but he took it as encouragement to plop himself in my lap. He stared up at me with his oddly colored eyes and I was hooked. I rubbed the waiting puppy's belly before turning back to Tristan. I felt my confidence in speaking return. "So, what brought you down here?"

"Truthfully," he started picking Jeffey out of my lap, "my father."

"What? Why?" I wondered startled by his honestly.

"To put it simply the rivalry between the parents has been pushed down on the children rather extremely. It never was like this until our parents decided it would be fun to try and out-do everything one another do."

"Yeah, Stacey mentioned something about the competitiveness, but I don't really understand it at all."

He nodded. "I honestly don't either. That's actually only part of the reason I'm down here," he said shyly. "For a couple years now Shane and I have been going back and forth with each other over girls. It all started when we were ten and we were both trying to get Tempany's attention. We had been really good friends up until the point she chose me over him. Then it all started to go downhill from there. Every year we grew more competitive and almost made a game out of it. I brought one of my first girlfriends here one year and Shane somehow managed to steal her away from me."

"So," I began trying to comprehend where this was going, "if I'm thinking right, your dad sent you down here to try and drive yourself between Shane and I?"

"In my father's theory that's exactly what it is," he sighed gazing out to the calming sea. "I'm honestly getting really sick of their insane competitiveness. I only agreed to come talk to you because you seemed like the type of girl who would understand and not freak out."

"Surprisingly enough I do. I never really understood older people and how they do things. When Stacey was telling me about it before it only showed how much it's been eating away at her. That birthday party idea really sent her over the edge."

Tristan groaned pressing his hands into the sand angrily. "Mom just always has to show up Stacey somehow. I don't understand it one bit. Their family has been through enough lately that it just makes me sick to see my parents do this stuff. I can talk Mom into not having the party. There's honestly no point."

"I'd really like that," I said smiling. "I hate seeing Stacey upset."

Tristan turned and gazed at me in a peculiar way. I finally had to ask him why; it was beginning to make me uncomfortable.

"You're a lot different than all the other girls Shane's brought here," he answered.

"Different how?" I wondered curiously. What other girls had Shane brought here? My mind instantly fell to a startling blond with a fierce attitude. My eyes narrowed subconsciously.

"You're actually smart, apparently talented, naturally beautiful, and you seem to really care about him and his family."

"They are really good people. They've been great to me the last couple weeks," I explained avoiding the fact that he'd just complimented me – big time.

"Only a couple weeks?"

"Yeah, I just started to hang out with Shane about two weeks or so ago."

"Really?" he asked.

I nodded. "Why does that seem weird?"

"It's just how he acts around you. I would have guessed you two would have been going out for a least a couple months by now."

I shook my head with a laugh. "I wouldn't even say were technically going out yet."

Tristan stared, appalled. "If I was still friends with him I would definitely tell him off. What is his problem? Why hasn't he asked you out yet?"

I shrugged. Until then I hadn't really thought about it. I had just been enjoying the time I'd spent with him so far that the fact that we aren't really dating never bothered me. "It's really not a big deal. It's been a wild couple weeks and this is the first down time we've had together."

Tristan grinned, elbowing me in the side. "Then you must know why he brought you here. He is gonna do it while you're here."

"You're acting like my best friend," I giggled enjoying his easy going company.

"If it's okay with you I'd like to be friends," he stated. "You seem really cool and I think we could be really good friends."

I was hesitant. "I would love to it's just Shane and yeah."

He frowned sadly. "Yeah I understand. We used to be best friends, I told you that right? We were always together when we would come down here for Christmas. I can't believe we let girls get in the way of our friendship."

A silence settled over us. Tristan finally spoke again. "Oh well, I guess what's in the past is in the past. I'm just glad to finally see him happy. He deserves to be happy after all that he's been through."

I sensed the sadness in his voice. "Tristan," I started softly, "if you really want to be friends with Shane again just talk to him. I've been trying to make Shane a more patient and levelheaded person."

"How's that going?" Tristan interjected with a laugh.

"It's slowly working," I said laughing, "but what I'm trying to say is if you really want to be friends again I think he would give you a chance to explain yourself. You two both have wronged in this relationship and you need to fix it. You two are both older and more educated and aware now. You will be able to talk like men. And I really am sorry you had a falling out with you. You don't seem as bad as he makes you out to be."

"I deserve it though," he said quietly.

"Just talk to him, it can only make things better," I said reassuringly.

"Shane's one lucky guy," he stated.

"I'm actually lucky to have found him," I finally said, meaning it.

"Mitchie! Mitchie!" Shane's voice called from up towards the house. I looked back, a smile immediately adopting my face. He raced at top speed toward us, his face jovial. The beautiful smile faltered as his eyes caught Tristan's. "Tristan," he nodded curtly.

Tristan gave me a helpless look. It took everything in me not to laugh. Instead I nodded encouragingly at him. We both stood waiting for someone to speak. I shoved Tristan forward after a full five minutes of intense awkward silence.

"Uh Shane," he cracked nervously. He cleared his throat before starting again. "Could we maybe talk a moment?"

I squeezed Shane's hand reassuringly. "Sure," he agreed after a long look at me.

I watched the two boys wander down the stretch of beach. I went back to the panting puppy. He hopped up and down excitedly. "Do you ever get tired Jeffey?" I cooed.

He yipped and licked my fingers greedily. I scooped the small puppy into my arms and said, "Let's give these boys some alone time."

* * *

Jeffey and I wandered along the beach making sure to keep our distance from Tristan and Shane. They seemed to be talking which was always a good sign. I just wasn't sure how well the talk was going. There hadn't been any punching yet so I took that as they were working things out.

I smiled to myself. Friends will be friends, and boys will be boys. Jeffey ran straight into an oncoming wave. The white water sprayed all over the place engulfing the unexpected puppy. I raced at him laughing the whole way. He emerged from the water soaking from head to tail.

"Jeffey, you are too funny," I laughed chasing him along the shoreline.

I fell against the sand after chasing Jeffey for what felt like an hour. He rolled around in the sand next to me coating himself in a layer of grit.

"Now I'm really going to have to give you a bath," I told him leaning on one side.

He barked in agreement. I lunged at him pretending to attack. He growled back playfully trying to grab my fingers. Two arms snaked around my back pulling me up off the ground. The first thing that registered in my mind was danger. Then his warm breath tickled my exposed neck and I relaxed.

"You scared me," I breathed thankfully.

"Have I told you you're amazing lately?"

I twisted so I found myself looking up into his mesmerizing blue/brown eyes. "Not too many times but why this one?"

"Thanks to you and all you're amazing psychiatric help Tristan and I are going to work out our problems. Lord, that sounds so girlish," he moaned, hanging his head.

"Good I'm glad you're not being stubborn about this," I smiled touching his cheek. "Tristan seemed really torn up about it."

The gaze he always used to make me feel uncomfortable returned to his face. I moved uneasily under his stare. "What?" I asked.

"I just don't see how any one person can be so perfect. How are you able to change so many people in such a little time period? I just don't understand how you can be so helpful to people then want nothing in return."

How do you answer to something like that?

"You don't have to say anything; I just needed to tell you. You are such a positive influence in my life even on Tristan who you've only known for twenty minutes. It's just ridiculous how there can be someone like you where everything you do is right and you never do anything wrong. More people need to know you. Maybe you should be a psychiatrist or something. You do well with people and their problems."

I smiled. A slight breeze picked up my hair sending the dangling pieces in Shane's face. His smile turned up in one corner as he tucked the hair behind my ear. His fingers lingered on my cheek tracing over the freckles I knew were there. My eyes were focused on his full mouth heading towards mine.

"Shane! Mitchie!" Tristan called from the deck. "We're playing charades soon. They want you guys in here!"

He sighed, dropping his hand from my face – always an interruption. My heart was racing as it usually did when Shane was in close proximity.

"Come on," I said grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the house.

* * *

Shane was explaining to me the concept of the game – which apparently I didn't know very well. Most of the children and some of the adults were crowded around the coffee table in the large family room. I sat between Shane and Caitlyn with Tristan on Shane's other side and Nate on Caitlyn's. We were one team of at least three, maybe even more.

The object, obviously to win. The rules, you were not allowed to speak at all – if you did it was an automatic ending of your turn and you lost points – hand motions and body movements were only allowed. The judging, a panel of parents including Laurie, Amarina Abbott, and Anxo Chatzi, and also Garrett Peppercorn. They were there to make sure everything stayed fair and no one cheated. They also gave points based on how well the clue was acted out and how fast the team got the answer.

It seemed much more complicated than a basic game of charades. Nate kept telling me this was no basic game of charades though, it was Extreme. Caitlyn and I giggled every time they called it that which earned us each a glare from the three boys.

Amarina daintily tapped a fork to a glass calling everyone to order. "Thank you," she said once everyone had calmed down. "The teams are; team number one: Tempany, Elijah, Echo, Harold, and Lucas, team number two: Aidan, Zale, Gaea, Porter, and Jacob, team number three: Bryden, James, Jensen, Hollace, Finn, the Trips, Bradley, and Keavy Rae, team number four: Tristan, Shane, Nate, Caitlyn, and Mitchie."

"If everyone could make up a team name it would be much easier to identify each of you," Amarina explained settling back into her chair behind the table.

Each team huddled together thinking of a clever name. The reason team three had so many people was because all of them were at least five and under. The Trips – Charlotte, Cooper, and Cameron – were the oldest at eight but besides them everyone else was little kids. Kier, Libba, and Rylee had opted to sit out and play amongst themselves instead.

"How about inferno?" suggested Caitlyn.

The boys pondered and agreed. "It sounds intimidating," Tristan said holding up his hand to announce our name. Caitlyn all but melted from the attention. I rolled my eyes. The Tristan Charm wasn't going to work on me anymore.

"Everyone have their names ready?" Amarina asked. "Team one?"

Tempany cleared her throat and said, "TEEHL, it's all our initials."

"Clever," Amarina said writing the name down on the paper. "Team two?"

Aidan spoke up, "The Winners!"

"Should have known," she said admirably, it was her son. "Team three?"

All the little kids looked at each other, they'd forgotten to think of a name in their given time period. Jensen sat up on the couch with her arm raised cutely. "We'd like to be called The Best Team in the Whole Wide World."

The room erupted in laughter. "How about the Best?"

Jensen nodded eagerly, falling back onto the couch.

"Team four?" asked Amarina.

"Inferno," Tristan said with a smile.

"Excellent," mumbled Amarina finishing the names, "Anxo is going to go over the rules of the game real quick just to refresh your memory."

Anxo stood from behind the table, his towering body seeming even more intimidating than usual. "Before we started Kier, Libba, and Rylee wrote all the clues down on these pieces of paper here," he said shaking a hat filled with paper. "They aren't playing so it seems fair. Basically everything and anything is fair game. Every turn you will be allowed only one safety which is a help from the creators of the clues." The three girls smiled from their spot in the corner. "You are given one minute to completely guess. The quicker you guess the more points you receive. This year we have decided to do rounds. The first round will be things. The second round will be entertainment. The final round will be rapid fire where you pick your best performer and he or she tries to do the most in two minutes."

"I think we are in for an exciting night, please determine your lineup and turn it in. We will be beginning our tenth annual Extreme shortly."

The teams huddled together again. "Who wants to go first?" Tristan asked.

Shane raised his hand. "I'll go. I always like to start things off with a bang!"

Tristan shook his head laughing. "Then how about Caitlyn, Mitchie, Nate, and I? Sound alright?"

Everyone agreed. I didn't really care when I went I was more worried about the fact I wasn't the best at charades. I didn't want to make a fool out of myself in front of all Shane's family and all these families I barely knew.

"We have all the lineups in and we are ready to begin! First one up from TEEHL is Elijah," announced Garrett. He extended the hat out to the younger boy. "Pick one and you are center stage."

This was how most of the rest of the evening went. Each team picked a little slip of paper. The actor would read it show the judges and pocket it just in case he needed reference. Then we would get one minute to guess his actions. If we didn't get it in that amount of time we were deducted one point. If we guessed it right without any help in the time limit we received three points. If we needed help but guessed it right in the time limit we received one. Surprisingly, it was much more fun than I ever anticipated it to be.

Everyone was extremely good at guessing and acting. I never knew so many people were so good at charades. Even Caitlyn and I got into it. We were having so much fun hanging out with all the families. I learned that almost every single one of them was amazingly nice and funny. There were a few exceptions as in Tempany and the Chatzi girls. I think they were jealous of Caitlyn and I for being on a team with three of the best looking guys ever, but I also think part of it was because we were actually kind of with them. I didn't let their discreet glares bother me at all. For once I was finally having fun and enjoying myself.

"This concludes the second round," Anxo announced after we successfully guessed Nate's acting of a jackhammer. "Now you must select the person you want to do the rapid fire round. Be smart of whom you pick."

"The standings as of the end of the second round are as follows," Laurie began, "TEEHL in first with 29 points, Inferno in second with 26 points, The Winners in third with 22, and The Best in fourth with 21."

"The rules of the last round are simple. Each person you select will get a paper of ten clues. Each guess is worth one point in this section. The first team to finish gets a five point bonus. If you complete all ten within two minutes you get an extra bonus of ten points," Amarina explained. "Also, all these clues are miscellaneous. They are a variety of everything we've already done."

"Who is going to be your rapid fire?" Anxo asked the teams.

"Tempany!" TEEHL shouted.

"Charlotte!" shouted the Best.

"Zale!" shouted the Winners.

Our team looked around at each other expectantly. Then Shane shouted out, "Mitchie!"

"What?" I yelled at him.

Tristan nodded along with him. "You are the best. You are the quickest and that's what we need is speed. You have to do it."

"Come on Mo," smiled Shane, "you will do fine!"

Caitlyn smiled encouragingly. "Mitch, you are born to act. This is just a different form. You will knock them dead. Plus you are the best bet for it. Tempany is fast as what, and we need to beat them."

"Okay," I sighed, "I'll do it."

"Will the four contestants please come to the judges table?" Anxo asked in his booming voice.

I rose unsteadily. Tempany practically ran me over as she raced towards the table. She muttered a sorry but I knew she didn't mean it. Garrett handed me my sheet of paper with a smile. "Good luck," he muttered to me.

I gulped attempting to look unperturbed.

"Contestants please take center stage and stand in front of your teams. You will have two minutes to complete all the clues. There will be no safety lines in this round. Are you ready?"

Everyone shouted their agreement. I nodded numbly as my eyes scanned the sheet. Right before the timer began to click my eyes landed on Shane. His smile relaxed my nerves instantly. I smiled back. I was ready.

"GO!" shouted Anxo.

I motioned. "Two words, a person," my team recited back to me. I nodded quickly. I motioned some more pretending to cut down a tree.

"Johnny Appleseed!" shouted Caitlyn excitedly.

I nodded. There was so much commotion going on in the room I could barely concentrate on the words. I made it through gardener, caterer, Donald Trump, and paparazzi in no time. We were way ahead of Tempany who was struggling with the movie _Grease_. Time was ticking away as my eyes landed on the last one – _The Notebook_.

I laughed out loud, I couldn't contain it. I shook my head at my team as they began to guess from my laugh. "Two words," they shouted again, "a movie."

I looked right at Shane knowing he would be the only one to get this part. I pretended to wobble back and forth in my spot on the floor. My mouth opened in a silent scream and fell onto the floor. Shane stood up from his spot and yelled, "_The Notebook_!"

"That's it!" Garrett shouted checking off my last clue. "Inferno takes it home!"

Shane, Caitlyn, Nate, and Tristan collapsed on me chanting my name loudly. Shane grabbed a hold of me and took me in his arms. "I told you you could do it," he whispered into my ear.

"No, we did it," I said smiling burying my head into his deliciously smelling chest. All around me people were cheering and congratulating us on an extremely well fought game. My eyes didn't stray from Shane's for anything. We stood in the middle of the chaos reading each other's minds through our eyes. He ducked his head down towards mine and…

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DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN!**


	21. Full Moon

**look at me go! im updating within a week. at least i think its been within a week. if not its been close! ive just been on a roll with this story lately. im already writing the next chapter too. you may be getting another update before i leave friday but i cant be extremely positive yet. just keep hoping! this is another long chapter for you. :)**

**im not gonna get all into a big long entry this time. i get bored of myself when i do it. so i introduce another new character in this chapter. i know im killing you with all these people. but believe there are only a handful that are meaningful. this new character is a little based off someone. and im sure you all will get it. your all very smart. :) you will see in the next couple chapters why i introduced this one.**

**other than that. nothing new. a little friend time we have here. all the stuff you know isn't mine, isn't mine. [i think you will understand when you see it] everything else is mine. even the new character. even though its based off someone! hmm. ENJOY LOVES! thanks for being amazing reviewers. ive gotten based 400 reviewers - just freaking amazing.**

**okay. to the good stuff!**

**

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Chapter Twenty-One: Full Moon**

_**In the full moons light I listen to the stream**_

_**And in between the silence hear you calling me**_

_**But I don't know where I am and I don't trust who I've been**_

_**And if I come home how will I ever leave**_

**Full Moon: The Black Ghosts**

The next couple days were filled with intense party planning. All the invitations had been sent out, most have already RSVPed, and Stacey was glowing. Two days after the big dinner party, the family received an invitation in the mail for a New Years Eve party thrown by Tristan's mom. He had obviously done his dirty work and told his mother to forget about the birthday party. The smile from Stacey's face hadn't left since she read that invitation. She worked with an enjoyable pleasure, and her focus was on the Christmas party which was tomorrow.

Currently I was walking down the small boardwalk on my way to the caterers shop. No one else had enough time to help me, plus I don't think Stacey wanted me anywhere near the actual set up of everything. Yesterday I had knocked over an entire display of miniature elves. That one didn't seem to go over too well with Stacey. She has banished me to errand runner which is why I'm by myself on my way to the caterers to make sure everything is ready. I begged her to at least let Caity come with me, but that resulted in a big fat no. Caity was actually making some last minute decorations and she couldn't be disturbed.

I continued at a steady pace down the boardwalk. The sun was sitting high in the perfect blue sky, not a cloud in the sky to hide behind. A weak wind grazed at my bare shoulders. Sweat clung to every part of my body. Why hadn't I opted to at least ride a bike here? Stella yelled at me not too – ugh, stupid doctor.

The tiny catering shop loomed closer. The bright pink building – I swear – could be spotted from an aircraft flying over head. I reached _Wanda's Winking Creations_, pushed through the glass door, and was met with a burst of cool air.

"Ahh," I sighed relishing the coolness for the time being. The door closed behind me with a ding. The elderly lady behind the counter looked up and waved at me excitedly.

"You must be Stacey's helper," she called out in an accent – I wasn't sure which one.

I nodded walking over to the counter. "She has sent me to make sure everything is almost done and confirm when you are delivering it tomorrow."

"Of course," she smiled riffling through some papers in front of her. She pulled one out with Stacey's name at the top. "Come back with me, I will show you everything."

I followed her to the back of the shop. It was more like a kitchen than anything. Big bowls with even bigger mixers sat on the floor churning away. The elderly woman, I assumed was Wanda, caught me staring.

"Those are our mixers, we've figured out it's easier to make dough in mass quantities instead of thousands of individual ones. We also use them to mix other things together too."

"They are huge," I said peering into the bottom of one.

"Over this way Mitchie," Wanda called beckoning me over to the right.

I caught up with her and asked, "How did you know my name?"

"Stacey called ahead to tell me you were on your way. I think she wanted to make sure you got here alright. People on this island can be a little funky at times," she said with a laugh.

Her statement didn't have the same easy going affect on me. I've had my share of times with funky people and they never resulted in anything pleasant.

"Don't worry," said Wanda as she read the worried expression on my face, "I'm sure you won't meet any of them around here. They usually don't come out until night, and I think Stacey wouldn't ever allow you to go out alone at night. At least I hope Shane would have half the mind to keep you in seeing distance at all times."

Although I was curious to know how she knew about Shane and I, we entered another small room with shelves stacked high with incredible looking food. My mouth dropped and began to water. Wanda moved along the shelves counting out all the trays of food we'd ordered.

"Now, tell Stacey we've gotten all the cold stuff cut and ready. Tomorrow we will make everything else so its fresh and delicious. The party starts at seven right?"

I nodded.

"Tell her we will have the food there by four if that's when she wants it there."

"Thank you," I told her as we wandered back to the front of the store.

She stopped at a table laden with toppings for a cake. "Would you like to sneak a taste?" she asked me waving a knife towards the white frosted cake.

I nodded eagerly. She expertly cut a little piece off the side; no one would ever notice it was missing. "This is amazing," I breathed. "What kind is it?"

"It's a chocolate recipe I've been working with. I put some peanut butter and a dash of cinnamon in it."

"It's ridiculously good," I told her. "Is this the kind we're having tomorrow?"

"One of the kinds," she said nodding. "Thank you for stopping by. Here, take this with you and give it to Stacey." She handed me a small box full of candy. "She wanted them for some table when you walked in."

I nodded not really caring what she needed them for. I was still in cake deliciousness heaven. I thanked her one last time for the cake and off into the sweltering sun again.

The time seemed to pass even slower on the walk home. It may have been because of Wanda's warning. I kept turning around every thirty seconds feeling as if someone was following me. Then I thought realistically. Why would anyone want to follow me home? And why would they anyway? There are many more rich and better looking people on this island to terrorize. I told myself I was being paranoid which I was. If anyone should be allowed to be paranoid it would be me right?

Setting aside all paranoia that I was feeling at that moment, I half-walked half-ran the rest of the way back to the house. Finding it oddly quiet, I set the box of candies on the counter and walked out on the deck. Laughter flitted up from the beach. The sand was littered with most of the family. I searched the water for Caitlyn, Nate, or Shane – nothing. Before I had a chance to turn around a pair of hands covered my eyes. Scared as I was from all the paranoia I screamed. A hand covered my mouth to hold the screams in my body. Alarms set off in my head.

"Hey there beautiful," the all too familiar voice of Shane breathed in my ear.

I pushed him off me in one huge shove. "That is not funny Shane. You really scared me there for a second."

"Someone's being paranoid," laughed Nate, he was standing a couple feet behind Shane.

Caitlyn pushed Shane aside so she was in front of me. "Leave her alone," she told him. "What's got you all wound up?"

"Well, I just walked all the way to Wanda's by myself. And when I get there she's telling me how I shouldn't be walking by myself because there's sketchy people on this island. So the whole way home I feel like someone is following me," I ranted. "And that is why I'm feeling paranoid at the minute. Thank you very much Nate."

He grinned sheepishly at me, but Shane was frowning. "Wanda told you there were sketchy people on this island?"

I nodded. "She said there were some."

"She is getting extremely old," explained Nate. "She's been here almost as long as my parents have been alive."

"At one time we thought she was a witch," added Shane. "I think she's just trying to scare you a little bit. There's no reason to be afraid of anyone here."

"But what if she's right?" I asked in a small voice.

Shane grabbed a hold of my shoulders so I was forced to look him straight in the eyes. "As long as I'm here, I am not allowing you out of my sights. I told you I was going to protect you," he whispered only loud enough for me to hear.

Closing my eyes to keep the sudden tears from falling I nodded. "So," I said shakily, addressing my other two friends, "what were you guys doing?"

"We were coming up here to capture you and take you into the ocean with us but seeing as that is inappropriate now we're just going to take you to the water," Nate said.

I cocked my head to one side and looked at him. Caitlyn and I burst out laughing as he shrugged. The boys looked at us like we lost our minds. "What are you laughing about?" Shane finally had to ask.

Caitlyn shook her head. "Nothing, you wouldn't understand. Come on Mitch, let's go get you in a bathing suit."

My best friend dragged me away from the boys still laughing. "I love confusing the hell out of them," I laughed. "Did you ask Stella if I was allowed in the water yet?"

She nodded excitedly. "She said yes and if anything starts to hurt or whatever you must immediately come out. So it's all on you there girl. You've got to be the judge of your limits."

"Thank you mo –" I began to say but stopped. If Caitlyn noticed she didn't press anything; I wanted to hug her.

We made it to our room, and as soon as Caity was through the door she raced to the dresser and pulled out a bikini for me. She threw it at my head and I looked at her curiously. "Are you sure? I do have stitches still. They might not be the most attractive things in the world," I wondered examining the brown and lime green polka dot two-piece.

She turned to me hands on her hips. "Mitchie Leigh, you are going to look fine. It's not like people haven't seen stitches before."

"What about my bruises?" I asked softly.

Caitlyn was hugging me in a second. "Put it on and we will see how it looks."

I struggled out of my loose tank top and loose shorts. My body has been recovering quite well lately. It's still a strain on my stomach sometimes – I do still have stitches there – but I've been feeling stronger and much better. Hopefully that means my ribs are coming back together. "Could you tie it for me?" I asked.

"Step back and let me look at you," she advised.

I stepped back holding my arms out awkwardly. "To tell you the truth I haven't really looked at myself since we've been here," I blurted out. "How do they look?"

"Well you have stitches in your stomach," Caity said reaching out to touch them. "The bruise is still there but it's probably only the size of my fist now and it's turning more yellow than purple. And, you have a cool ass scar on your left boob. Look at it!"

She pushed me in front of the mirror. In a bikini the scar stood out more than ever. It wasn't exactly on my boob but right next to it. It cut through the middle of my breasts and ended a few inches below. It was bright pink with a white tint to it – a recovering scar.

"I never noticed this one," I said drawing my finger along the raised line. "This must have been where they cut out the clot. Why doesn't it have stitches though?"

"Maybe they put in those dissolving stitches," suggested Caitlyn, checking out the rest of my body for any bruises or scars. "Your leg is still a little banged up but everyone's already seen you in a dress. You've got a couple bruises on your back, but the ones on your arms are disappearing fast. You're face is healing really well too. You just have a couple scars on there but those have been there for awhile."

"You think I'm okay then?" I asked.

"You're okay with swimming with just Shane's extended family. If one of the other families was to come over you might have a little problem. But leave that to me, I'll think of something if they ask questions."

"You're the best," I told her, hugging her tightly – my strength really was returning.

"Swimming time!" Caitlyn shouted and took off out of the room.

I followed her pushing myself more than I probably should have, but it felt so good to actually move. My stomach constricted slightly from the over excursion. I pushed through that pain and easily beat Caitlyn down to the beach.

"Even crippled I can still beat you," I told her excitedly.

"I never was one for that running stuff," she huffed, holding her knees to try and catch her breath.

I picked her up. "Don't do that you can't get air through your pipes as easily," I instructed her.

"Mimi!" shouted Hollace running from the sparkling blue water to me.

Stacey shouted after her. "Do not jump on her Hollace!"

She stopped short of me, waving. "Thacey thaid me no jump!"

"I still have some booboos," I told her pointing to my stomach.

Her eyes widened. Her fingers extended wanting to touch the stitches. "Can touch?"

"Be careful," I advised. She placed her wet fingers on the ridge of the stitches and squealed.

"Funny!" she giggled backing away.

"I'll race you to the water!" I exclaimed preparing myself for another run.

Hollace's eyes widened again. "No!"

I didn't have a chance to even ask what as my body was picked up in one swift movement. My capturer raced towards the water. "You know you're mother just told Hollace not to jump on me and here you are setting a bad example," I told Shane.

He carried me in his arms being very careful not to make any sudden movements. "I'm gentle though. Holl doesn't know how to be gentle yet. Might I add you look amazing?"

He set me down in ankle high water and I scoffed. "Yeah right, look at all my bruises. These stitches are hideous."

He scooped me up and it was then I noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt. Our bodies meshed together, skin resting against skin. My body temperature rose to 110 degrees just at the thought of him in only swim trunks. "I love all your scars and bruises," he whispered. "They give you character."

"A beat up character," I said disgustedly.

He used one hand to keep my face on his. The sun hit his eyes creating a sparkling affect that set my mind in a daze. "Mo, you look beautiful. I don't care what's on your body or what isn't."

"Shane! Mitchie!"

Shane hung his head grumbling. "I'm going to kill him. I really am going too."

I giggled as I waved at Tristan from the beach.

"It's been like four days he's been here and how many times has he already interrupted us?" Shane wondered angrily.

I knew exactly what he was talking about – the night of the dinner. "It's okay Shane. He doesn't know any better."

"Yeah right my ass," he mumbled.

Tristan, Caitlyn, and Nate splashed their way to us. I took notice of both Tristan and Nate's spectacular looking bodies. Tristan had the more chiseled muscular look. His deeply tanned chest left me to believe he worked hard on his farm and that's what all the sun was from. Nate was more of the scrawny type with a paler complexion – the look worked for him though. I was almost hesitant to look at Shane. Who knew what I would do when I finally saw him? I at least hoped I would keep myself together and not fall into the ocean from his perfection.

"What are you doing here Trist?" Shane asked, not a trace of disappointment in his voice.

"Well, Morgan finally flew in from school, and I've gotten sick of having her around already. So I decided to come over here and do something more productive."

"I think we're going to name you love sucker," Caitlyn announced suddenly.

Tristan gazed at her in amusement. "Why?"

"Can't you see!" she proclaimed loudly pointing to Shane and me.

His gazed shifted between the two of us. "Did I do it again?" he asked exasperatedly. He sounded genuinely upset at himself.

"No man," Shane said at the same time Caitlyn yelled, "Yes!"

The other time he is referring to is the night of the dinner after the charade showdown. Shane and I were celebrating our win. He was so close, closer than ever before, and Tristan somehow knocked into us and the moment was ruined. Although Shane and I haven't exactly talked about it, I can tell from how he is that he is waiting for the perfect opportunity. Many perfect opportunities have come and gone between us, and they all seem to fail. Maybe we just aren't meant too…

"I'm so sorry," he gushed running a hand through his hair. "I will make it up to you guys. I promise. Just leave it to me, it will be perfect."

"Don't worry about it," I told him. If the time was meant to come it will come eventually.

"Do you guys all want to come over and watch a movie tonight?" he wondered changing the subject. I suspected Shane was shooting him death glares. I let my eyes glance to the side and caught Shane's eyes in the process. I smiled to myself.

"Definitely," agreed Nate readily. "The Peppercorn's have this nasty movie theater they built in their basement. It's seriously one of the best I've been in. Almost the same as being in an actual theater."

"What are we going to watch?" I asked walking further into the refreshing water until it was up to my chest.

Tristan shrugged. "We have tons of movies. I'll let the girls pick it out if you want."

Caity and I smiled at each other. Oh the possibilities of torture we could put the boys through were endless then. "Agreed," Caity smiled.

"What time should we come over?" Shane asked slinking his arm around my waist under the water. Even in the slightly warmer water my body tingled all over.

"Whenever, after we swim if you want."

We all nodded our agreement.

"Let's body board!" suggested Nate preparing himself to jump on the incoming wave. He waited a second to long and was pulled under from the force of the wave. He resurfaced spitting up a mouthful of salt water. Our laughter brought a smile to his face.

Each of us swam out of bit farther to wait for the next big wave. Shane was next to me and the temptation to look at all of him was tugging at me. He leant down to me and whispered, "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay right now. We will see how body boarding goes," I said patting my stomach gently.

An oncoming wave slapped me in the back causing me to lose my footing and stumble into the breaking water. The water felt so good I never wanted to come back up. Shane's hand sought mine and pulled me to the surface. His laughter was contagious and soon I was doubled over in laughter, clutching my stomach.

I looked up into his eyes and my laughter faded into a small smile. Finally allowing myself, my eyes gazed over his bare body. Without thinking I reached out to run my hands over the contours of his chest and stomach. The tautness of his abs sent a fire shooting to my cheeks. I quickly dropped them out of embarrassment.

His hand brushed back a few wet strands which brought my eyes back to his. The smile on his face was unreadable. My breathing hitched as he took my hand and placed it back on his chest. I shied away from his undeniable perfect body. Feeling confidence grow in me I slid my hand up to the place where his heart rested. Under his beautiful skin his heart beat at the same rate as mine – faster than humanly possible.

Surprised, I looked back up at him. His smile widened into one of his crooked grins. "This is what you do to my heart."

* * *

"Hello Mrs. Peppercorn," Caitlyn and I greeted later that day as we stepped into the Peppercorn's mansion of mansions. The house was roughly twice the size of the one Shane and his entire family stayed at.

"Oh call me Niki darlings," she said hugging us both warmly. "I'm so glad you all could come over. Tristan seemed extremely bored earlier." She pulled us a little closer as if to tell us a secret. "Just between us three, I called a surprise here for him. It should be arriving any minute now."

Caitlyn and I moved further into the foyer wondering if Niki always acted this strange. "I wonder what kind of surprise she got him."

We wandered into the kitchen where Tristan and the boys were preparing popcorn and other assorted snacks for our movie watching experience. Shane smiled widely at me from over the bowl of popcorn he was assembly. My heart pattered irregularly. I don't think I was ever going to get used to it.

Tristan's younger brother Harold wandered into the kitchen a beautiful girl in toe behind him. I instantly recognized her as one of the Chatzi girls; her long, luscious black hair was a dead giveaway.

"Oh yeah Harry is watching the movie with us too," muttered Tristan, not paying his brother any attention.

Harry rolled his deep brown eyes and smiled at Caity and I. "This is Gaea, I don't know if you remember her or not."

We shook hands with the small Greek girl. "I remember you, I just didn't remember your name," I answered truthfully. "You're extremely gorgeous."

Gaea smiled warmly. She seemed kinder than her sister and the Abbott girl. "Nice to finally meet you two. We've all heard so much about you." Her English was almost perfect save for her slight Greek accent.

Caity laughed. "I hope all good stuff."

Gaea nodded.

The doorbell dinged; everyone looked up with confusion. Shane spoke first. "Did you invite someone else Trist?"

He shook his head. "I'll go see who it is."

Tristan left the room and we all followed indiscreetly – so nosey. "This must be the surprise Niki was talking about," Caitlyn muttered.

"Yah think," I said sarcastically.

She punched me in the arm. "No need for sarcasm now my love."

I rolled my eyes kneading out the pain in my arm. We crowded around the foyer unbeknownst to Tristan. He easily opened the door and stopped short as he saw who was standing on his doorstep.

"No way!" Tristan exclaimed enveloping whoever stood outside the door.

"Who is it?" was the question on everyone's mind.

Tristan finally led the person into the light of the house. Everyone except Caitlyn and I rushed forward with excitement to tackle the tall girl who entered the room. We shrugged our shoulders at each other and strained to get a better look at her. She was tall only falling a couple inches shorter than Tristan. Her hair was blond and extremely curly in the natural way. A splash of freckles covered her small nose. She was effortlessly beautiful.

The crowd diminished giving the new girl some room and space. I wondered how they all knew her. My question was about to be answered.

"Mitchie, Caitlyn this is my really good friend Regina Walters," Tristan said introducing the strikingly beautiful tall blond girl to the small brunettes standing in the corner.

She rolled her soft brown eyes. "Call me Raine, he knows I hate the name Regina but he insists on introducing me like that all the time," she said, her accent similar to the Peppercorns'. "It's really wonderful to finally meet you. Everyone speaks so highly of you girls I've been dying to meet you."

Caitlyn and I were beginning to feel everyone around here knew a lot more about us than we expected. It was freaking me out a bit. "How do you know everyone?" Caitlyn blurted out.

Raine laughed easily. "I've been coming down here almost as much as they have. I've been friends with Tristan since before we were born. Niki called me last minute to invite me."

I nodded, understanding. My eyes fell on the guitar in her hand. "You play?"

She held up the guitar almost guiltily. "I can't go anywhere without it."

"Mitchie plays too," Tristan added.

"Really?" she seemed interested.

"Yeah, I'm still learning."

"That's bull, she's one of the best in Jason's classes back home," Nate explained.

I glared at him.

"We should play together sometime," she suggested.

"Okay, yeah," I said nodding. "That would be fun."

Niki rushed down the stairs and screamed as she spotted Raine. "You made it! I thought that was the doorbell but I wasn't sure. How was your flight?"

"Excellent," said Raine giving Niki a one armed hug, "barely any turbulence."

"I see you've already met Caitlyn and Mitchie, excellent girls. You three will have fun together. Now why don't you get to that movie? It's going to be three in the morning before you get done with it."

"Raine, why don't you show them where the theater is and the guys can help me get the popcorn and drinks?"

She nodded. "Let me put my stuff in my room and I'll show them."

"I'll take them for you," Niki said dismissively. "Go have fun!"

Niki wandered off carrying Raine's guitar and rolling her suitcase in tow. Raine shrugged and beckoned us to follow her. "How has your break been so far?"

"More than perfect," breathed Caitlyn. "The weather down here is so nice and everything I so beautiful."

"You're dating Nate right?" she asked curiously.

Caitlyn smiled happily. "Yes, he's amazing."

Raine laughed. "You have already fallen for the good boy charm. I always knew Nate would find someone. He always had his doubts on himself," she smiled. "That means you've finally snagged the ever changing Shane Gray."

"Not exactly," I said. "We're not exactly dating."

Her pretty eyes bugged out of her head. "Has he had a mental lapse or something? What's wrong with him? I'm going to have to talk to him."

I laughed loudly. "That's exactly what Tristan said."

"Well lord knows Tristan and I are too much alike for our own good," she drawled.

"Does that mean you two are dating then?" wondered Caitlyn.

Raine made a gagging sound. "Seriously? Tristan is my best friend. He's like a brother to me. That would be just disgusting."

"Oh come on," I dragged out. "You can't say you've never felt more than just a best friend vibe from Tristan. I mean he's positively gorgeous."

"There was that one time in ninth grade where things grew awkward," she said thoughtfully, remembering a trying time. "He put that one away though quickly. We decided we were best friends nothing more than that."

"Did you both decide that or did he?" I asked taking note of her tone.

Her eyes fell away sadly. "It's a little more complicated than you think. I'm happy with how we are though. If we would ever move passed best friends it would have to be his move not mine."

"I can work on that," I smiled. "He already owes me a favor, so maybe I can talk to him about it."

Raine shook her head. "You don't have to do anything. I'm really not looking for us to become more. We are really good at being best friends. It's easy, less complicated." She paused outside a large wooden door. "I did wonder why Niki invited me down here, but to hell with it. I'm going to have some fun. I already like you two more than I should."

We all laughed together. Raine pushed open the door and we walked into the homemade movie theater. "This place is insane," muttered Caitlyn running her hands along the fabric walls. "Are these supposed to keep the sound in?"

Raine nodded. "This whole place is completely sound proofed. It has surround sound so it gets pretty loud at times. It's so awesome though. You feel like you're in the movie."

I fell in to one of the plush arm chairs. There was a cup holder in one arm. Raine reached down and pulled a lever. The chair fell back, reclining. "It's stadium seating too, so you won't have to strain yourself to see over the dude with the afro in the seat in front. It's the best experience you'll ever have watching a movie."

"Where's the TV?" asked Gaea. All three of us turned around; we had completely forgotten she followed us down here.

Raine walked to the back of the room. With how tall she was she just reached up and pressed a button on the projector hanging from the ceiling. "We just use the wall. There's no reason to limit ourselves with a TV."

A blue screen filled the entire wall in front of us. "That is so cool!" I exclaimed. "What movie are we going to watch?"

Raine said, "Come here and we can pick out one." She walked through another door in the back. A light turned on and the walls were illuminated with a soft yellow glow. The entire room was covered from top to bottom in DVDs.

Caitlyn gapped. "How are we ever going to pick?"

"The walls are grouped by movie type," she said pointing to the left wall, "action movies." She pointed to the far one. "Comedy." The right one. "Romance or chick flicks." The wall with the door. "Everything else."

"That still doesn't mean we will ever be able to pick one," I said wandering over to the chick flick wall.

"Well, what are you feeling tonight? Do we torture the boys with a romantic movie or do we be nice and pick something they would actually like?"

"I don't know," I laughed, "Shane did love _The Notebook_."

"You Notebooked him!" proclaimed Raine. "Damn girl, he must have it bad for you."

Caitlyn was shifting through movies on the action wall. "I saw we pick something that all of us would like. A movie with a little bit of everything."

Raine, being her tall self, moved behind me and picked a movie off the top shelf. "I hate tall people," I told her lamely.

She laughed lightly. "How about _Twilight_?"

"Perfect," Caitlyn and I agreed.

"That has a little bit of everything."

"Plus Edward is exceptional to look at," Raine said. "I like to imagine myself as Bella sometimes."

"I think you could play a better Bella than the girl in the movie," I scoffed. "She ruins the whole movie for me."

"Maybe for the next one you should audition," joked Raine. "You kind of look like the Bella I always pictured: dainty, short, sweet, maybe we could add a little red tint to your hair. You'd be perfect!"

"Plus I think Mitch could act better than her without a doubt," added Caitlyn.

"You act too?" wondered Raine. "A girl of many talents."

"Well I got the part of the lead for our school musical; we shall see how that goes."

"A singer too, man no one can compete with that. No wonder Shane is gaga over you."

"He is not gaga over me," I sighed following Raine and Caitlyn back out of the room.

The footsteps of the boys were growing louder. "I've been here for," she checked her watch, "exactly twenty three minutes and I can already tell."

I didn't have time to retort, the boys burst through the door laden with delicious snacks. "Have we decided on a movie?" Tristan asked handing a bowl to Raine.

Raine held the box up for everyone to see. A collective groan rippled through the boys. "Oh it's not that bad," Tristan said. "I've already seen it. It's pretty good actually. That Bella girl is extremely good looking."

I stared at Tristan wondering if he and Raine shared the same brain. "What?" he asked.

"Oh nothing," I said with a laugh. Raine had understood and was shaking with silent laughter.

"Harry and Gaea you two get the front," Tristan instructed. "We have to be able to keep an eye on you."

Harry glared at his older brother hatefully.

"Love you too little bro!" called Tristan. He turned to Shane and muttered something to him that caused Shane to elbow him in the gut. He held his hands up in defeat.

Shane walked over to me rolling his eyes. "What did he say?" I asked, amused.

"He said we could have the back," he repeated. "It's the perfect opportunity."

"I hoped you hit him hard," I said with a laugh.

"Elbows of steel," he mused handing me a big bowl of popcorn. "I got you some lemonade."

"My favorite," I smiled gratefully taking the drink from his other hand, "if only there was mac and cheese too."

"I contemplated it but Tristan yelled at me."

Tristan clapped his hands from the front of the room. "Attention everyone: the movie will be starting momentarily. Please take your seats, turn off all your cell phones, and enjoy our future presentation!"

Raine booed him from the second row throwing popcorn at his head. "Get out of the way!" He rushed towards the back and pressed play on the projector.

Shane and I settled into the row with Tristan and Raine. Caitlyn and Nate occupied the row behind us – obviously wanting some privacy. There were still a couple other rows and plenty of empty chairs to go around. Tristan leaned over Raine and I to ask Shane, "Are you sure you don't want the back?"

Raine hit him square in the chest. "Stop being a dirty perve. The movie is about to start." He settled back in his head rubbing his chest sadly. I rolled my eyes. Although they couldn't see it, I definitely could.

Shane's hand clasped around mine as the opening scene of the movie began. I watched as the poor deer was hunted mercifully. Although the movie didn't have the best actors, it did have some beautiful scenery.

"When the full moon turns white that's when I'll come home," I sang softly along with the opening song. He gripped my hand tightly rubbing his rough fingers against mine. I loved the feeling of our hands being together.

I quieted down, settling myself in for a relaxing night with my friends and Shane. There was nothing more on this earth I wanted more at this moment. I looked to the beautiful boy next to me and that was all I needed to remind me of how lucky I am. I sighed, brought his hand to my lips and kissed it quickly. His smiled widened, and my heart lurched forward. From now on it was going to be hard not to picture Shane as my own Edward – _and so the lion fell in love with the lamb_.

**

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chapter 22 and the christmas bash are coming up soon hopefully! thanks for reading. :)**


	22. All I Want For Christmas Is You

**im going to get this out of the way so i never have to say anything about it again. ive been getting some heat for using twilight in my last chapter. and althought i dont really need to explain myself i feel i need too. i dont know what some people think of me using it. it was one of the most recent movies i watched. and it was fresh in my mind. its not like im turning my story into that. and so i used that quote. it doesnt matter to the rest of the story casue its not supposed to. its mitchie and her mind and how she thinks. if you honestly dont want to read this story anymore just because i used twilight as a part of it. go ahead. im not worried about it. and if you dont liek that im using it i say you skip this chapter then. cause there are a few parts at the beginning that contain it. so if its gonig to bother you that much then im sorry. im not going to change anything about it.**

**okay im done. i did hope i was going to be able to upload again. and since i love all of you i rushed this one out just so you coudl have one last more before i go off on vacation. this is my christmas present in july to all of you. hope you like it. dont miss me too much.**

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* * *

Chapter Twenty-Two:**** All I Want For Christmas Is You**

_**I don't want a lot for Christmas**_

_**There is just one thing I need**_

_**And I don't care about the presents**_

_**Underneath the Christmas tree**_

_**I just want you for my own**_

_**More than you could ever know**_

_**Make my wish come true**_

_**All I want for Christmas is you**_

**All I Want For Christmas Is You: Mariah Carey**

The night ended too quickly. Spending time with Tristan and Raine was more fun than I anticipated. They were a riot to sit with during a movie. Raine practically repeated every word from the movie; I helped her on some cases. She dubbed me Bella and she took on Edwards parts. They were paying more attention to our acting out of the movie instead of the actual one. I couldn't believe how much fun I was having.

Caitlyn and Nate kept to themselves. I assumed they were doing all that lovey dovey mushy crap I couldn't stand. So I didn't dare bother them. Seeing as Shane hadn't seen _Twilight_ before he was pretending to be very into the movie. He tried to play it off like he didn't like the movie but he had that same look in his eyes as when he had watched _The Notebook_. He did agree with Raine that I could play a better Bella. He also whispered to me that I looked a million times more adorable than that Bella.

Thankfully the room was in complete darkness save for the light coming off the movie screen. Shane was the only one that noticed my blush. He was the only one that ever made me blush this much anyway.

By the ending of the movie Raine and I had taken to the front of the room and were literally acting out the movie. Tristan joined in as all the other characters from time to time. At one point I thought I actually saw Caitlyn pop her head up over the chair to watch us – may have been my eyes playing tricks on me though.

I was lying on the ground now pretending to be Bella after her crazy vampire fight with James. Raine was sitting in the corner pretending to be the sleeping Edward. Tristan hovered over me pretending to be Renee.

"Paul's so worried about you," he said in an attempt of a girly voice. "You're going to love Jacksonville Bella. It's sunny all the time."

"I don't want to go to Jacksonville Mom," I said slowly. "I wanna stay in Forks."

We adlibbed some more lines here and there as we would have liked them. Tristan retreated to "go get Dad" as I had requested. Raine moved tentatively toward me.

"Is James -?"

"We took care of him. And the woman, Victoria, she ran off."

I sighed happily. "I'm alive because of you."

"You're in here because of me," Raine said disgustedly.

A slight laugh escaped my mouth. I regained my posture and continued. "Don't think like that. You did everything you could."

"The worst part is – I didn't know if I was going to be able to stop."

"But you did."

Raine paused for a second. "You should go to Jacksonville. You will be much safer there."

"You want me to leave you?" I spoke, my voice rising steadily. "I can't do- I won't do it- I can't leave you. I just can't do it."

We butchered the rest of the movie making up some more lines here and there. By the end we were laughing too hard to even speak. Shane, Gaea, and Harry were all clapping exuberantly.

"Best movie I've ever seen!" Shane exclaimed.

"Way better than the actual movie," agreed Gaea wiping tears from her eyes.

"Caity!" I called. She poked her head up. "How did you like my performance?"

"I told you you were a natural performer!" she exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes and turned to Raine. "That was so much fun."

"We will definitely need to do it again."

"What time is it?" I asked.

Tristan answered, "12:36."

I looked to Shane in alarm. "Is your mom going to be mad we're not back yet?"

"Mo, it's fine. She knows were over here. She's not going to care as long as we're not doing anything bad."

"We should get going though," Nate advised walking down the stairs to where everyone else was gathered. "We're going to have to get up at the ass crack of dawn to get this Christmas party ready for everyone."

Raine clapped together. "I love Stacey's Christmas parties! They are always so much fun!"

"Thanks for having us man," Shane said giving Tristan one of those many hand shake hug things that I never quite understood.

"I'm glad you came," he said sincerely.

It melted my heart to see the boys getting along. "We will see you guys later today at the party," I said giving Raine a hug and Tristan pulled me in for one too.

"Happy Christmas Eve everyone!" we called as we were leaving.

* * *

Nate had been right. Stacey woke us all up at the ass crack of dawn. Even after returning to the house around one in the morning, that didn't stop Stacey from waking us at seven on the dot to start preparations for the party.

Downstairs there was a huge dry erase board full of assignments for everyone for the day. My weary eyes gazed at the board forebodingly. My name was under seat arrangements, guest check lists, location settings, decorations, and gift bags. I stared for a long time wondering if Stacey had completely lost it. Shane appeared behind me and chuckled. His name was on there at least a dozen times.

"Mom gets a little nutty around this time of year. This is her baby as she likes to call it," he informed me walking over to the pot of brewing coffee. "Would you like some?"

"No thanks," I said making a face. "I hate that stuff."

"What would you like then?" he asked playfully.

I brushed my hair away from my face hoping I didn't look too unbelievably unattractive for seven in the morning. "Chocolate milk would be delightful."

"Chocolate milk it is then," he smiled heading to the fridge. "So, did you have fun last night?"

I nodded taking a seat at the counter. "Raine is hilarious. You and Tristan seem to be working on things?"

"It's going slowly but surely," he agreed mixing in some chocolate. "I've forgotten how much fun we used to have together."

"I hope it works out for you then," I told him taking the cup of chocolate milk. "Thank you ever so much."

"It's my pleasure," he said pouring himself a steaming cup of coffee. "Now, I must get going before Stacey finds us sitting around. See you later?"

"Of course," I said smiling after him.

I wandered into the living room where I found Stella and Caitlyn nursing their cups of coffee. They looked up as they heard my entrance. They both smiled tiredly and went back to their coffee.

"Hello my friends," I chirped sitting on the couch beside Caity. "How are the morning hours for you both?"

Caitlyn glared at me. "I hate that you are a freaking ray of sunshine all the damn day!"

I turned to Stella. "She's always cranky in the morning. I think that's why were best friends. I manage to get her out of her grumpy moods."

Stella giggled slightly. "How was your night last night?" she asked us.

"Yeah Caity," I said pointedly, "how was your night last night? You know, since I hardly saw you and all."

She continued to glare at me – aren't we the best of friends? "It was fun."

I turned back to Stella. "We watched a movie and her and Nate were a little preoccupied the whole night. If you know what I mean?" I said suggestively.

Caity shoved me in the stomach. I sucked in a pained breath. She always managed to hurt the only parts on my body that were already sore. She instantly softened and mused, "I'm so sorry Mitch. I keep forgetting!"

"It's okay," I said brushing her off. "I'm getting better every day."

"What does Stacey have you guys on today?" wondered Stella.

"The same things as Mitchie," Caitlyn answered before I could. "Although I may have a couple more things to do, I can't remember."

"We have all the easy jobs then," I said excitedly. "Nothing I can mess up too bad."

A peel of excitement rang through the house. Stacey bounded into the living room where the three of us jumped up the minute we saw her. "H-hey Stacey," we all greeted awkwardly.

She waved a piece of paper at our faces. "We've been invited to the Winter Solstice Gala!" she shrieked.

Stella jumped up, apparently aware of what the Winter Solstice Gala was. "Stace, I told you we would get invited again!"

"I wasn't sure after last year," she breathed. "But this is so exciting! This means we all have to get fitted for dresses and gowns. Isn't this so exciting girls?"

"I don't know I lost you after you said dresses," I muttered.

"The Winter Solstice Gala is the most renowned ball on this island," Stella explained. "It's where all the girls get dressed up in fancy dresses and the boys wear their best suits and tuxes. It's so much fun."

A ball and dresses weren't my idea of a good time. Stacey seemed more than thrilled that we were all invited though. "When is it?" Caitlyn asked.

"The 27th!" exclaimed Stacey.

"Yeah!" I said halfheartedly.

Stacey smiled at me. "Mitchie, you will have a lot of fun. I know you're not big on dresses. But the evening will go by so fast it will feel like you aren't even there."

I nodded knowing it would make Stacey happy.

"Good, good!" exclaimed Stacey. "Let's get to work. We've got a lot to get done today to make this party a success. You girls need to get over to the building as soon as possible. So find who is going on the first flight trip and get on it! Julie will be there with all your assignments. Good luck! I'll see you later."

And then Stacey was off running a million miles an hour trying to do a million different things. Stella turned to the two of us. "Okay, so let's change and figure out how we're going to get to the location," she suggested.

"Good plan," Caity said already making her way to the stairs.

* * *

Many long hours later, the time for people to arrive was dawning on us. Everyone was finally at the secret location – the one I picked out might I add. Stacey and Julie had managed to put all the little kids into suitable Christmas attire which meant they all were wearing red, green, or white in some array of clothing.

Caitlyn and I were currently standing guard – bouncers per se – right inside of the doors. She had a check list in hand as did I. We both also had headsets on that were programmed straight to Stacey or Mark. I situated my sound box on the back of my, sigh, dress. Yes, I've been forced into wearing another dress. This one was simple: a white eyelet with a big red ribbon tied around my waist. Caity wore something similar to me; we had been dubbed the greeters.

"How much longer?" I asked my best friend already wanting to be out of this damn dress.

"Like ten minutes until people start to arrive," Caitlyn answered checking her cell phone. "How long are we supposed to stand out here for?"

"At least an hour, I think that's what Stacey said. After a certain time we're closing the doors so no one else can come in."

"This is boring," moaned Caitlyn flicking an imaginary piece of lint of her arm.

"How are you two already bored?" the voice of Shane came from behind us.

We spun around to find our two breathtaking boys walking over to us, arms laden with gift bags. "We have to stand here and say 'Welcome to the Bangin' Christmas Bash' for an hour straight. We are just foreseeing that we're already going to be extremely bored," I told them.

Nate shook his head, winding his arm around the waist of his girlfriend. "We would love to help you two beautiful girls out but seeing as we have much more important stuff to do looks like you're on your own," he smiled.

Caitlyn stuck her tongue out at him. "We will think of something to do to pass our time," she said looking at me. "Like pretend we are from a different country."

"'ello there mate, have a splendid time at our little tea party," I said bowing. "Don't forget to taste our crumpets. They are the best this side of the Atlantic."

Shane shook his head at me, laughter peeling through the open room. "You two will have plenty of fun doing, um, whatever that is."

"They will be back here in fifteen minutes," I muttered to Caitlyn loudly.

"Nate! Shane!" Stacey's voice drifted through the other doors.

They scrambled to put the bags on the table pushed up against the far wall right before Stacey entered the room. "There you two are. We still need to put a hundred more bags on these tables in less than ten minutes," she said demandingly. "Get to it!"

They left us with fleeting smiles before following Stacey into the main room. Caity and I giggled preparing to open the doors soon. "I hope this is fun," she muttered.

"If Stacey put it together it's got to be," I said.

* * *

Nearly an hour later, Caitlyn and I were finally able to start closing up shop. From the minute we opened the doors, people had been piling in wearing extravagant dresses to not so extravagant. We saw all the families' closest friends along with Tristan and Raine – they both looked absolutely gorgeous – who stopped and talked to us for awhile. Nate and Shane even wandered back over to hang around and keep us occupied during our hour long shift.

Stacey wandered over to us, her face flushed with happiness. "Girls, you may close the doors now and come party. The real party is about to begin."

"I'm going to check outside real quick Cait," I told her handing her my clipboard and headset, "just to make sure there are no stragglers."

"Be quick, I want to go get some food. I'm starving!"

I exited the doors and was met with the cool night breeze. It felt amazingly pleasant outside rather than having to endure the air condition body heat of the party. I glanced up and down the road making sure no late party goers were about to arrive.

A dark shadow and a loud scraping noise dragged my eyes over to the dark alley across the street. I knew better than to investigate. I decided no one else was coming and quickly walked back into the building, locking the doors behind me in the process. No weirdoes were getting into this party tonight.

"No one else is out there," I told Caity. "Let's go party."

She squealed and stuck her arm through mine. We walked through the entrance to the main room and stared in awe. We had seen the final production of the room but add all the people and music and lights it was just beyond anyone's expectations.

The room was huge, to say the least. We were able to fit twenty live Christmas trees along the sides of the room. One enormous tree occupied the direct center of the room. Stacey set out a table beside it with decorations. Everyone was to add their own decoration to the tree and we would see how it looked at the end of the night. I'm not sure if all the partygoers knew yet, but underneath all the other Christmas trees were presents for them.

Along with the Christmas trees, millions of twinkling Christmas lights had been professionally placed throughout the room. I gave the party planners big praise for how well they managed to make Stacey's dream come alive. Since this year's theme was Banging' Christmas Bash, it was only suitable to have various instruments placed around the room for people to play with.

Plus, at the far end of the room was the stage the boys had spent all day working on. It looked perfect. Thick white blankets of snow covered the entire base along with lights strewn through them to give off a foggy look. A big snowman which was constructed out of Styrofoam and covered with snow was placed in the corner on the stage. I hadn't noticed before but there was a drum set and a couple guitars already set up on the stage.

"Were those instruments there before?" I asked Caitlyn as we walked down the center aisle to the table we were seated at.

"Mitchie, the whole theme of this party is music," Caitlyn explained dully. "People are going to be giving their own concerts all night long."

"Good, so they don't expect me to have to sing?" I wondered worriedly.

"I doubt you will have too," she said unconvincingly. "I know Nate, Shane, and Jason are going to be performing at some point tonight."

My heart pattered excitedly. "Really? I haven't heard them all play in a long time."

"How could they put on this party and not play something?" laughed Caitlyn. "I'm sure everyone would beg them to anyways. It won't surprise me if they have a record label within the next year."

I contemplated what she said. I had only listened to the boys play maybe once or twice before, but come to think of it they were really, really good. I never asked Shane if they even wanted to make it in the music business. Good sort of, kind of girlfriend I was right? Mental note: ask him about it later.

"There's our table right there," Caitlyn pointed to one right in front of the stage with Shane, Nate, Jason, Stella, Tristan, and Raine. "How did we get all of us at one table?"

I smiled triumphantly. "I was in charge of seat arrangements you know," I giggled falling into the seat beside Shane. Caitlyn sat next to me and next to Nate.

"You guys made it just in time," smiled Stella. "Stacey is about to open the floor."

Shane reached across my lap to grab my hand. I tilted my head at him so he could see my smile. The pleasant background Christmas music ceased and the lights were focused on the stage. Stacey appeared from behind the curtain waving excitedly. The enormous crowd erupted in applause.

Shane cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, "I love you Mom!"

She rolled her eyes but even her blush was noticeable. "Hello everyone! Thank you so much for coming out to the Bangin' Christmas Bash this year! We're very thankful that all of you made it here safely. Now that we've got you all here I guess it's time to tell you that we actually have no food for you tonight." The crowd gasped. "I'm just kidding," Stacey said lamely, trying to be funny was not her strong suit. "We will have our dinner served shortly. For now you may gorge yourself on our appetizers that are located on the left wall over there."

"We are going to start our Bangin' Bash though!" she yelled. "This is how it's going to work. If you would like to perform something tonight find me or Mark. We will be at this table down here." She pointed to one next to ours. "We will add you onto the list of performers. You are allowed to do whatever you would like. This is all about entertainment and having fun. Towards the end of the night we will have our own present giveaway. For now though, our first performers are my own children," Stacey said proudly. I looked at Shane curiously. "Here are Jensen and James Mahogany, Hollace Black, and Bryden and Keavy Rae Gray singing _Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer_!"

The crowd shouted excitedly as Stacey ushered the five frightened children out on stage. Hollace being the most outspoken of the group ran to the microphone first almost knocking it over. Collective laughter filled the room. I smiled. Hollace finally pulled the microphone off the stand and tapped on it. "Tething!" she shouted in her adorable lisp. "We need thomeone to come here," she giggled into the microphone.

Jensen grabbed it from Hollace and shouted, "Shane!"

"Thane!" chanted Hollace.

All the heads turned to our table encouraging Shane to go up there. He smiled at me, my heart stopping instantly. "Should we bring Mitchie?" he called to Hollace.

She nodded exuberantly. "Come Mimi!"

I glared at Shane and shook my head at them. "Not yet Ace, maybe later."

She frowned for a second but was over it. "Thane come!"

He bent down to my ear. "Definitely later."

I rolled my eyes as I watched him race up the stairs and flock to the crowd of small children. People screamed their excitement at seeing Shane up there. Surprisingly enough, I didn't find myself becoming jealous. I knew he was mine no matter what. Shane sat in the chair that Stacey had brought out for him. Bryden rushed over handing him a guitar. "Thank you buddy," he said ruffling his hair. Shane situated another microphone in front of him so it was level with his guitar and him. "How is everyone tonight?"

Shouts of agreement met him. He smiled, satisfied. He looked so comfortable up there. His gaze wandered down to me. "I hope Santa Claus is good to all you this year. He's definitely been wonderful to me," he smiled.

Caitlyn elbowed me in the arm. "He is so talking about you!"

I just smiled at him unable to do anything else. His charm was mesmerizing.

"Like Mom said, these here big kids," he said winking at them, "want to sing you a little song. Come her Keavs, sit on my lap." Keavy Rae pulled her thumb out of her mouth and hopped up onto Shane's lap. "I'll start it off for you, then you guys come in okay?"

"Okay!" They agreed.

Somehow, between Keavy Rae sitting on him and having to play the guitar he started strumming the chords for the song. "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose," his clear, flawless voice filled the speakers. I don't know how anyone could still be sitting. His voice practically melted me every time I heard him sing. "You guys sing now," he said with a laugh as none of them had come in yet. The little kids sang the rest of the song with them. By the end the whole place was singing along with Shane and his guitar.

"Thank you!" he said standing up when he had finish. "Give another round of applause for the next generation of singers!"

The kids bowed as the place stood and applauded their adorable performance. "Have a good time! Eat good food! I'm here all night!" he said and raced back off the stage.

"You're such an actor," I laughed at him once he'd finally returned to his seat. "You did really good though. I do have to say."

"Why thank you," he said. "And I wasn't kidding about before. We're getting you up there somehow."

I told him he could try all he wanted too. The rest of the evening went as such. A couple performances later and we took an intermission to serve dinner and eat. The food was delicious – beyond delicious. I ate so much I thought I was going to have to loosen my bow some. Shane, Nate, and Jason took control of the stage and rocked out to some of their songs. They even managed to put a little Christmas spirit in their music. Most of the girls had crowded around the edge of the stage as if it was an actual concert. Caitlyn and I found this particularly hysterical. Raine moved over to Shane's vacant seat and was laughing along with us.

Towards the end of one of their numbers Stacey rushed over to us. "What's wrong?" we asked before she was even at our table.

"Raine, Mitchie, Caitlyn we need you three in the back now, please," she added and flounced towards the back.

We raced after her fearing the worst. As soon as we were through the door I asked, "Stacey what is wrong? Is everything okay?"

Raine closed the door behind us and stood guard in front of it. Caitlyn steadied herself next to her. "What are you guys doing?" I asked uncertainly, paranoia becoming a second nature for me.

"I know you may not want to, but we're making you anyway," Caitlyn said walking towards me.

"Do what?" I asked.

Stacey reappeared with Carley in her hand.

"Why do you have Carley with you?" I asked taking the guitar out of her hands.

Raine stepped forward now. "Well, remember how I kind of suggested we should sing together sometime. I may recall telling Stacey about it, and she suggested we play something tonight."

The three of them all looked at me guiltily. Caitlyn was the first to crack. "Oh come on Mitch. It will be a lot of fun."

"I've never even played with Raine before though," I argued. "What would we play?"

"An easy Christmas song," Raine said excitedly unzipping a guitar case. "Have you ever heard of Last Christmas?"

I nodded. "I really don't know how to play it though."

"It's simple really, watch me."

For the next fifteen minutes I received the quickest lesson in all of lessons on the guitar. Raine put Jason to shame. I had the whole song memorized within ten minutes; it took the last five to get our singing in tune together.

"I think the boys are almost done with their concert," Stacey said jokingly. "Then it's you and Raine. Shane is going to introduce you two."

I nodded, the nerves evident all over my face. "It's going to be okay Mitch," Caitlyn said reassuringly. "Just think of it as a warm up to your musical in the spring."

A round of earsplitting applause broke out from the stage. I glanced wearily to the dark auburn curtains that separated me from the hundreds of watching eyes. Shane's voice echoed back to us. "Thank you everyone! We're ending here tonight, but that doesn't mean the music has to stop. Some of my favorite girls are coming up here to sing you a Christmas favorite. You all have heard of Raine Walters?"

"That's my cue," smiled Raine getting up and pushing the curtain away. The crowd roared at her.

I gulped nervously listening to Raine and Shane banter. "Her partner for the night is someone most of you haven't heard of. She is very special to me and has a killer voice."

"Oh just come on out here Mitchie!" exclaimed Raine having grabbed the microphone from him.

Caitlyn pushed me towards the curtain nodding. "I love you, you'll do great."

"I love you too," I mouthed and pushed through the curtain.

The stage was blinding. Dozens of lights were trained on the single spot making sure the people in the back were able to see the stage. I marched my way over Shane and Raine. Shane excused himself but not before placing a tender kiss to my forehead that didn't go unnoticed by the crowd.

"Yeah, yeah get the love show out of here," Raine called after him.

She pulled up two chairs and told me to sit down. I obeyed, shaking slightly from all the attention trained on me. I rested Carley in my hands feeling calm with her. Raine situated herself. "Everyone say hi to my new friend Mitchie," she told the crowd.

"Hey Mitchie," they chorused back.

I giggled. She was attempting to relax me and it was certainly working. "Okay enough chatter, we're going to play you a little song. Join in if you like." She nodded at me. Our fingers worked together to create a harmony for the song. She nodded at me again signaling me to start singing. I looked at her pointedly but she just kept nodding.

I breathed in and out deeply before placing my mouth near the microphone. "Last Christmas I gave you my heart. But the very next day you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special."

Raine joined in at the chorus. "Once bitten and twice shy, I keep my distance but you still catch my eye. Tell me baby, do you recognize me? Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me. Merry Christmas I wrapped it up and sent it with a note saying I love you, I meant it. Now I know what a fool I've been. But if you kiss me now, I know you'd fool me again."

The room hummed to life joining in with our singing. Raine and I continued playing and sang through our laughter. This vacation was really the medicine I had needed.

* * *

Until it became Christmas morning. Stacey's party had been a blast and everyone enjoyed themselves. People came up and congratulated me on a job well done. I thanked more than enough people that I didn't know. All in all it was an utter success for Stacey – the perfect Christmas present.

The next morning, the children woke up around 6:30. Mark sent them back to bed telling them they needed to sleep at least another hour. Exactly an hour later the children were pounding on the doors yelling Merry Christmas! They couldn't be ignored any longer.

Caitlyn and I groggily woke from a less than stellar sleep. I swear I've been getting less and less sleep, and this is supposed to be a vacation – time for relaxation, guess not. We wandered down the stairs tripping over each other in the process. The Christmas tree in the living room was glowing with the many colored lights along with millions of presents littering almost every available space in the room. I stared transfixed. I don't think I've ever seen so many presents in one place.

All the kids were already tearing open presents that apparently had their names on them. Jolts of excited laughter and pleasure filled the room. We moved away from the hectic room and on to the kitchen. Stacey was sitting at the counter with a mug of coffee in one hand and the paper in another. She looked dog tired.

"Merry Christmas girls," she greeted quietly.

"Merry Christmas," we smiled.

"Mitchie," Shane said upon entering the kitchen from the deck, "come with me."

I looked between Stacey and Caitlyn. "Okay."

Shane reached out and grabbed my hand. We walked outside the soft morning sun meeting my face happily. I stretched my neck upwards in hopes of it warming my whole body. The waves crashed quietly from below giving off a serene feeling.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered extending a small wrapped box to me.

I eyed it uncertainly. "Shane, I don't know if I can accept anymore presents from you. You've already given me more than enough. Speaking of which, where is Jeffey?"

"He stayed with me last night," Shane said guiltily. "I hope you don't mind."

I shook my head finally taking the package from his hand. "As long as he's safe."

"Open it," Shane pleaded, his eyes crinkling with eagerness.

Reluctantly, I slipped my finger through an edge and pulled. The green paper fell away easily leaving behind a small square box. My heart beat with anticipation. I opened the small box and gasped.

"Shane, it's beautiful," I breathed, carefully extracting the necklace from the cushion. Hanging off a silver chain was an exquisite silver heart with a turquoise stone cut into the part where the heart met in the middle.

"Here let me," he said taking the necklace from my shaking fingers and clasping it around my neck. "It looks beautiful on you."

I fingered the heart. "I love it. Thank you so much." I hugged his torso tightly. "I do have something for you too."

"Oh yeah?" he asked curiously.

I pulled out a small package from my pocket and handed it to him. "Go ahead."

He tore into the paper like a two year old. He pulled the top off easily and stopped. His hand dropped the box top and dove into the box. He looked at a loss for words.

"Your mom helped me out with the inscription but it was my idea to get them for you," I said. "I didn't know if you already had some, but if you do you have a revamped pair."

He grabbed me holding me close to his chest. His heart beat frantically against his chest. "You have no idea how much this means to me," he whispered clutching me tight. "I really don't even know what to say. It's perfect."

"You don't have to say anything," I said quietly gazing up into his emotional eyes. Tears lurked in the corners of his eyes. Had I really gotten something so perfect that it wanted to make Shane Gray cry?

I plucked the dog tags out of his hand and slipped the necklace around his neck. I smiled feeling extremely proud of myself. "Perfect," I breathed turning my head up to him again.

It was one of those moments where I couldn't read what was going on in his eyes. He looked torn between too many emotions to count. Gently, he ran his hand through my unkempt hair stopping to hold the side of my neck. My eyes fluttered open and closed trying to regain my sight; he was driving me crazy again. All it took was one little gesture and my mind was sent to the heavens.

He bent down pressing his forehead against mine. He was the closest he'd ever been now. Our noses touched, a new sensation erupting through me. Warmth pumped through my veins setting my body on fire. His breath was sickeningly sweet, tickling my face. I had to close my eyes for fear of fainting if I didn't. His other hand cupped my cheek, stroking my skin with his rough finger.

It seemed like an eternity we stood there like that. Neither of us wanting to move out of the contentment we felt. Neither of us wanting to break the magical power that held us together. I opened my eyes for a split second to find Shane's staring intently back at me. His penetrating gaze sent another round of chills down my spine. One small move and we would finally…

He pulled my neck up slightly and in that split second, his full smooth lips came crashing down on mine. All the built up passion and craving spoke through the frantic almost rushed kiss. It was almost like he couldn't get enough and yet he never wanted to stop. My hands snaked through his arms and entangled themselves in his unruly hair.

A moan purred from within his throat and I felt it in my stomach – tingling and a sensation I couldn't even begin to describe. All I can say is that I felt like I was floating on pleasure. The kiss calmed but was still fired with the pent-up passion. His lips left mine for a second to place his forehead back against mine. He breathed in deeply. "Merry Christmas Mitchie," he whispered and we were lost to the world of fiery and eager kisses.

**

* * *

sorry its super rushed and choppy but i wanted to finish this before i left. you finally got your kiss. hope it didnt disappoint. i promise the next chapter will be better. thanks for reading.**


	23. He Could Be the One

**im baaaaaack! i told you i wouldnt be gone long. i hope all of you are having an amazing time doing whatever your doing. ive been rereading my story and i plan on editing the whole thing sometime soon. ill fix my mistakes and all that jazz. but for now im not gonna give you an ear full. im just going to let you read.**

**disclaimer: i dont own this song, even tho its cute. i dont own anything on the disney channel. although i wish i did. hahah everything else is mine! ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Three: He Could Be the One**

_**He's lightning**_

_**Sparks are flyin'**_

_**Everywhere I go he's always on my mind and**_

_**I'm goin' crazy**_

_**About him lately**_

_**And I can't help myself from how my heart is racing**_

**He Could Be the One: Hannah Montana**

For the next couple of days I honestly felt I was soaring with the clouds. Lame and cliché, I know but there's no other comprehendible way for me to explain how I'm feeling. Christmas was simply perfect. I was skeptical at how I would feel seeing as it would be my first Christmas without her, but Shane kept my mind completely away from all the bad things.

How Shane's family celebrated Christmas was a sight in itself. Every second of the day we had something to do, something to eat, something to open. It was an all day festivity that lasted well into the night. Families dropped back intermittently during the day to wish Merry Christmas and drop off massive amounts of gifts. To my surprise I received many more presents than I ever intended on getting. I only gave the bare minimum seeing as I didn't know many of these people very well.

Caitlyn and I exchanged friendship bracelets; it was a tradition between us not to get crazy expensive presents for Christmas. Nate gave me an album; I had to fill it with pictures of all the love – his exact words. He is such a goof sometimes. Everyone else was very generous even after have given me all the presents on my birthday. Their generosity was just outstanding.

Christmas had come and passed too quickly for my liking. It also meant our vacation was coming to the ending segment of our two weeks here. The day had come for the Winter Solstice Gala and the excitement coming from Stacey and Stella was enough to drive any person mad.

The day before we'd all gone to the little strip area of the beach and had went from shop to shop trying on beautiful ball gowns and extravagant dresses. After five never ending hours everyone had finally decided on a suitable dress, according to Stacey. I personally had no say in my dress. They had forced me into tons of them and they finally decided on an elegant soft aqua color. I readily agreed knowing if I didn't I would have to try on plenty more dresses.

The time had come to prepare ourselves for the big event even though it was only noon. Their ridiculous antics had me on edge all morning. I had yet to see Shane which was odd. It had been two days since our first kiss and now every time I see him I feel even weaker in my knees than I did before. We share these smiles with each other that make people wonder what secret we are sharing and not explaining. Even if we're across the room from each other, all he has to do is look at me and I'm smiling like a fool – pathetic, I know. I can't help it I'm falling…

"Mitchie!" exclaimed Caitlyn for probably the hundredth time. She waved her hand in front of my face to try and draw me back to reality. "Mitchie!"

"Caitlyn!" I yelled back at her, miming her exact moves.

She ignored my playfulness and asked, "Where did you just go?"

I sighed happily – Shane. "Nowhere, what are you talking about?"

She eyed me in a way only a best friend could. "You were totally thinking about Shane. You can see it all over your rosy cheeks. What happened between you two?"

Oh yeah, I think I may have forgot to mention that Shane and I haven't told anyone yet. Don't yell at me please! We have good reasons for it, really we do. Mainly, we didn't want to be bothered by it until we were back home and wouldn't be around his whole family all the time. Secondly, he hadn't exactly asked me out yet – this is him being completely old school – but he wanted us to be official before we told anyone.

Which brings me to the next question I'm dying to know the answer too: when was he finally going to ask me out? Honestly I couldn't tell you what was going on in his head. He had the perfect opportunity to after our first kiss; I guess he just completely forgot. It was in moments like these I wish I hadn't promised him not to tell anyone. It was hard enough keeping it from Stacey and Stella but hiding one of the biggest things from my best friend was really starting to eat at me. I've almost slipped up on many occasions but Shane would be proud of me. I don't think Caity had any idea.

"Nothing," I answered back finally. "What makes you think something did?"

"You've been so spacey ever since Christmas, I'm just wondering," she said curiously brushing her hair once more.

I shrugged my shoulders – hopefully convincingly. "I think all this good air is getting to me. I'm not used to being in such a good environment for a long period of time."

Caity made a face at me which sent us into giggles. "You're such a loser but I love you."

Stella came barreling into the room at that moment. "The dresses have arrived!"

Caitlyn squealed along with Stella and raced out of the room with her. I remained seated at the vanity, very unwilling to get up and get the dress. I sighed and dropped my head onto the cool stone counter. Someone squeezed my sides playfully.

I jumped and turned to find a grinning Shane bending down towards me. "Shane," I breathed once my eyes landed on his.

"Hello there beautiful," he smiled easily planting a kiss on my forehead. I yearned for his lips to trail just a couple inches lower but it was another one of his restrictions – no more kissing until he asked me out. Honestly, he is such a damn tease. "It seems you are trying to make yourself even more beautiful which I didn't know was even possible."

I rolled my eyes with a smile. "They are making me wear a dress, again! It's just too much fanciness for me in a small amount of time. I'm thinking we won't be able to ever date since your family seems way too formal for me." I hoped my hint would strike up some slip up of his.

He laughed deeply. "You know all too well that my family is one of the least formal families in the world. It's just Mom caught up in the haze of Christmas spirit. This is her one time of year to get all dressed up and have a good time," he said, a hint of sadness swirling in his blue/brown eyes.

I rose slowly from the chair, my eyes never straying from his. "You are one hell of a son, you know that right." My arms easily fit around his waist, pulling him closer.

"Oh you think so do you?" he smirked draping his arms lazily on my shoulders.

"Yeah, I really do," I said tilting my head up toward his.

The movement wasn't subtle enough. Shane caught on and held my head in his hands. "I know what you're trying to do," he whispered, our faces inches apart. "I thought we had an agreement."

"Your agreement sucks," I muttered miserably, hanging my head sadly.

"Don't fret beautiful," he said massaging my forehead, "it gives you wrinkles."

I scoffed at him but couldn't help but laugh. "You're impossible."

"Ah, but it's all part of the plan," he smiled loosening his grip on me.

Caitlyn's footsteps were heard stomping back down the hallway. We broke apart instantly preparing for our friend to burst through the door. "Hey Mitch I got your, oh hey there Shane," she said as she spotted him. I could feel the weight of her eyes on the back of my head. "I got your dress Mitch figuring you would try to forget."

I groaned, turning to take it from her. "Thank you ever so much," I said sarcastically.

"I'll leave you two to get all dressy and all that fun stuff," he said the last part for me. "Bye Caity, bye beautiful."

Shane exited with one last smile and disappeared down the hall. Caitlyn pounced on me the moment he was gone. "Oh my God, he totally just kissed you!" she screamed jumping up and down.

I grabbed her flailing arms and said, "Caity shut up! He hasn't kissed me yet. We were just talking."

"He really hasn't kissed you yet?" she asked, dumbfounded. "What the hell is his problem?"

"I don't know," I breathed, hoping my terrible lying face didn't break through.

"We still have a couple more days here. It's bound to happen eventually. And if he hasn't before we've left this place I will personally see to it that he is killed very painfully."

I laughed shaking my head. "Hopefully that won't be necessary," I sighed, remembering the taste of his mouth on mine.

"You really like him," Caitlyn finally said after a couple seconds of scrutinizing.

I nodded slowly, a smile returning to my face.

"Oh my God Mitchie, you are falling in love with him," she breathed excitedly.

I covered her mouth before she could let out a full-fledged scream. "I'm not," I answered lamely, Caitlyn didn't buy it. "I mean, I don't know Cait. He makes me so happy, and I actually am so comfortable around him. He can actually touch me without me freaking out."

"I'm so happy for you Mitch," she said hugging me tightly. "I knew someone was going to be able to change you around. You're going to be so much happier now. Now if only that stupid boy would freaking kiss you, it would make everything so much better."

"What boy kiss who?" Stella asked carrying in her garment bag.

"Shane still hasn't kissed Mitchie yet," Caitlyn blurted out before I could stop her.

Stella gasped in surprise. "Seriously? What is his problem?"

"Exactly what I said," laughed Caitlyn.

I shook them off. "Don't worry about it guys, it's really not that big of a deal. I'm happy with how we are right now. Can we just get ready and make it as painless as possible?"

"Deal," they both laughed.

"But really he hasn't?" Stella quipped.

"Stell!"

"Sorry, sorry," she muttered pretending to silence herself, "no more questions."

"Time to get beautiful!"

"Let's make it quick," I muttered sufficing to the squeals of delight and excitement coming from my two friends.

* * *

"We're almost there!" Stacey yelled from the back of the limo.

The families had splurged and rented a limo for the special occasion. All of Shane's family fit into one enormous limo. I guess it helped that all the younger children weren't here. This was a grown up event – at least that's what Stacey told them as we left them with Laurie. Laurie opted out of the evening saying she was too pregnant and ugly to find any dress that would look halfway decent on her. Of course we tried to get her to come along but in the end she was set on watching the kids for the night. We promised to tell her all about it once we got back.

At the moment I was sandwiched in between Caitlyn and Shane – somehow I feel like I'm always between the two of them. Caitlyn looked absolutely stunning in a deep red corset dress. Nate hadn't been able to take his eyes off her all night. Nate didn't look too bad himself; the boys were all dressed in various styles of tuxes and suits. Nate's was a simple black on black with a deep red tie to match Caity's dress. It looked more like we were going to prom than a Gala. Whereas Nate had gone safe and stylish, of course Shane had to go somewhere totally opposite of that. He wore a white on white suit with a stunningly bright blue shirt underneath. Needless to say he went for the attention grabbing look. It didn't bother me one bit, he looked insanely gorgeous in his form fitting outfit.

Caitlyn snapped another picture of the two of us, probably the hundredth from the time we left the house. "Why are you so picture happy tonight?"

She shrugged snapping another picture of her and Nate. "I have barely taken any while we've been down here. I guess I needed to start some time. Now get together you two, look like you like each other."

Shane stuck his tongue out as I pretended to look bored. Caitlyn and Nate laughed. "That really shows your true characters," Nate laughed punching Shane.

"Do a real one now please," whined Caity.

"You really need to teach your girlfriend how to be polite," Shane joked wrapping his arm around my bare shoulders. My skin burned from his touch – pathetic.

Caitlyn blocked Nate from Shane's view to stop him from criticizing something else. "That's so cute," cooed Caitlyn, the camera flashing. "You two are such an adorable couple."

"In due time," Shane whispered in my ear.

I looked over my shoulder to catch the glitter in his unusually bright eyes. I reached my hand up to tousle his wavy, unkempt hair. "You stopped straightening it," I stated, loving the slight curl his dark hair held.

He shrugged running his own hand through the mess. "I thought I would try the au natural look for some time."

"I love it," I mused curling his hair around my finger. "Although I did love your hair the other way too, I guess I'm a sucker for a bad boy image."

"Oh beautiful, I'm still a bad boy at heart," he muttered heatedly.

My cheeks flushed with heat. "You're such a creeper," I told him pushing him away from me.

The limo rolled to an abrupt stop and I crashed right into Shane's chest. His laugh vibrated through me. "You can't seem to stay away from me though."

I smiled. "You are certainly right."

Caitlyn tugged on my arm. "Come on Mitch, we're here! We have to make our entrance."

The four of us were the last to exit the limo. Our feet hit a red carpet that led up some stairs to the huge building. Ropes lined each side of the carpet containing a large group of bystanders that flashed pictures at us as we made our way to the Gala.

"Why are they here?" I asked Shane. "They make it seem like we're big movie stars."

"It just so happens that many famous people attend this very party," he said flashing his heart melting smile at a couple local girls. Their swoons were heard in Alaska.

"Don't do that," I muttered.

"Why not?" he smirked.

"It's unfair to all those girls."

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"They aren't going to be able to sleep tonight due to the fact that you just smiled at them."

"Is that why you never sleep?"

I scoffed and still stumbled over my words. "N-no, I'm still recovering from a very brutal beating a week ago," I replied lamely.

He grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers through mine – they fit together perfectly, one calloused hand against another. "You are the worst liar in the world, have I told you that? And don't be jealous, my eyes are only for the most beautiful girl in the room."

"Where is she at? I gotta meet her," I said, glancing around the big greeting room.

Shane pulled me close to him, his lips at my ear. "She's standing right next to me."

By the time we met the host and hostess my cheeks were still burning a brilliant red. I blamed Shane and all his sweet talking. If he could just stop talking for at least two minutes I would be able to have normal flushed cheeks instead of ones that look like I just ate a huge pile of jalapenos.

"Oh the Color boys," the hostess said excitedly grabbing Jason, Nate, and Shane alike and hugging them. "You three look more handsome than ever and look at this you all have three gorgeous girls with you. Let me introduce my husband and I, I'm Rosalinda Moore and this is Jefferson Moore," she said gesturing to her husband.

"How much are they paying you to be with them tonight?" Jefferson asked Caitlyn.

"Not nearly enough," joked Caity, squeezing Nate's waist.

"Stella, you look more beautiful every time I see you," Rosalinda cooed air kissing both her cheeks. "How's school?"

"It's going great, I'm interning at a hospital now," Stella said.

"Well I'm so glad you two could be here tonight," she squealed as Jason and Stella passed through into the big ballroom.

"Now you must be Miss Caitlyn Gellar," Rosalinda said holding Caitlyn out at arm's length. "Great catch her Natie boy."

"I expect he's treating you well," Jefferson rumbled happily.

"The best," smiled Caitlyn.

"Enjoy yourselves!" she called, pushing them into the party.

"And this must mean you are Miss Mitchie Torres," she claimed pulling me in for a hug. "No one gave you justice. She's absolutely beautiful Shane. Isn't she Jefferson?"

"Can't believe you managed to catch a girl like her," Jefferson said patting Shane on the shoulder.

"Me either," he said, smiling at me.

"Gosh, I just can't believe how grown up you've gotten!" Rosalinda exclaimed pinching Shane's cheeks. "You best be respecting this girl. I like her already."

"Would I do anything less than perfect?" Shane joked earning a laugh from the couple.

"You two go in and have some food. Have an excellent night," Rosalinda said ushering us in.

Once inside the cavernous ballroom I asked, "So how does she know me?"

"She knows everyone," Shane explained steering us towards a table against the wall. "She's always known about everyone and their mama."

My laughter carried all the way to the table where our whole party was seated at. Shane pulled out my chair for me. I rolled my eyes at his manners.

"What do we do now?" I whispered to Caitlyn.

"We wait," she muttered back. "Once everyone is in they start with dinner. Stacey said they have an orchestra here to play and they will keep us entertained. We're expected to dance later too."

"Like actual dancing? Like waltz and tango?"

She shrugged. "I hope to hell no. I don't know what any of that stuff even is."

"We're so screwed," I laughed relaxing in my chair.

* * *

Not that I noticed before but we were some of the last people to arrive. It wasn't too long after we were seated that Rosalinda and Jefferson were making their way to the wall length stage occupying the entire far wall. I didn't realize just how big the room was.

The ceiling was so tall they probably had to use cranes to clean the very top. Huge expensive looking chandeliers were expertly placed above giving off a romantic vibe. Gold and silver decorations hung everywhere giving off a warm feel. It seemed that a million tables fit into this room. The voices of people hummed together creating a soft background.

From the stage Rosalinda tapped on the microphone to get everyone's attention. "Welcome everyone to the Winter Solstice Gala! I'm very excited to have so many glamorous people here tonight. Dinner will be served in fifteen minutes. From then on you may mingle, dance, and do whatever you feel. Have a wonderful time! Now for our night's entertainment the Palm Beach Orchestra!" Rosalinda exclaimed with a flourish to the large orchestra set up behind her.

As the orchestra began to play softly, millions of white clothed waiters darted among the tables taking drink and food orders. Before I knew it the waiters were bearing large trays covered with delectable looking food. The meal was exceptionally delicious. I ate so much I felt I would bust right out of my tight fitting dress – just another reason to hate them.

People were beginning to litter the wooden dance floor area, twirling around expertly to the beautiful music. I stared at them in awe; they made it look so effortless. Out of the corner of my eye I saw two extremely beautiful people making their way over to our table.

"Tristan, Raine!" exclaimed Shane jumping up from his chair and engulfing Tristan in a hug – man their reunion must be going better than I thought.

Tristan and Raine looked perfect – I didn't expect anything less. She wore an eye lifting black gown with a huge dip in the back exposing her tanned muscles. Her warm blond curls were teased back into a messy, elegant bun. No one in the entire building even compared to her. Tristan on the other hand was by far one of the best looking boys also – except for Shane of course. His body wore a suit very well I must say.

"Caity, Mitch you two look absolutely gorgeous," Raine cooed pulling us each in for a hug. "Are you ready to dance?"

"D-dance?" I stuttered. No one had ever mentioned me having to dance.

"Oh come on Mitch," Caity said grabbing Nate's hand, "it won't be that bad. All you have to do is sway and pretend to know what you're doing."

"Please Mitchie," pleaded Raine puckering her red lips into a pout.

"I promise to not make you look like a fool," Shane said.

"Thanks, that's reassuring," I told him sarcastically.

With complete ease he pulled me up out of my chair and walked to the dance floor. He more or less dragged me all the way. I tugged on his arm but he pretended not to feel it – maybe he didn't, who knows. The six of us pushed our way onto the crowded dance floor landing ourselves not too far from the middle.

I groaned as Shane grabbed my hand and placed the other one on his shoulder. "I assume you know how to waltz," he said seriously.

I laughed loudly. "You're not serious are you?"

He was silent for a moment before laughing himself. "Do you think I even know how to waltz?"

"Okay good I don't feel as stupid now," I said falling into step with his slow movements.

"Are you having fun?" Shane asked. We'd been dancing for awhile without talking – just enjoying each other's company. Not to mention my heart was racing abnormally fast, the reasoning for that wasn't hard to figure out.

I looked up into those eyes; those eyes were the same thing that captured my heart in the first place. They were so unlike anything I've ever seen, and all I could do was stare into them. "Yeah this isn't as bad as I thought it would be."

"I mean the vacation," he chuckled spinning me around. "Are you having fun in Aruba?"

"More than you will ever know," I said sincerely. "I can't remember the last time I went on a real vacation."

He smiled winningly, my heart lurched upward. "This place has always been my favorite vacationing place. Mom used to tell me when I was younger that all my dreams can come true in Aruba."

"Isn't that supposed to be Disney's slogan?" I wondered thoughtfully.

Our laughter chimed together, drawing the attention of a few close couples. He spoke, softer this time. "Maybe it is, but I'm beginning to think Mom was right. I mean she usually is so I don't know why I ever doubted her before."

"What dreams of yours are coming true?" I asked, allowing my hand that was resting on his shoulder to trail to his neck. My fingers rubbed circles underneath his earlobe.

His eyes closed for a brief second which made my smile widen even more. Good to know that I can drive him crazy too. "All of them," his voice cracked softly, closing his eyes again.

I giggled to myself, loving how I could make him lose his train of thought. I let my hand fall back on his shoulder. One eye popped open. "You didn't have to stop," he muttered.

"Well I thought it would be a bit inappropriate for you to look like your enjoying yourself too much, if you know what I mean," I giggled coyly, raising my eyebrows.

He laughed gruffly. "I didn't know you had a side like this Miss Torres, I like it very much."

Someone tapped Shane on the shoulder. "May I cut in?" the voice of Nate broke through our intense gazes.

Shane stepped back to allow his best friend my arms. "Where did you leave your beautiful girlfriend?" he asked but caught sight of Caity before Nate answered.

I watched Shane and Caity obnoxiously dance their way around people. I laughed quietly before focusing my gaze on the other beautiful boy in front of me.

"So how is my Caity doing?" I asked him.

The light bounced in his eyes like it always did when Caitlyn was mentioned. "She's great, fantastically great. How are you and Shane? Has he finally asked you out yet?"

I bit my cheek from the inside attempting to keep in the secret I wanted to blurt out to Nate. His eyes and face were just too kind and compelling; I was caving.

"Promise you won't tell anyone," I said knowing he would be able to keep a secret.

He nodded eagerly, his hair floppy against his head. "We kissed," I whispered, "Christmas morning."

"What! But didn't you just tell Caity you haven't kissed him yet," he wondered curiously, extending his arm to twirl me.

I spun and returned to him nodding. "Shane promised me not to tell anyone about it until we were officially together yet. But he hasn't asked me out and I don't know why."

Nate sensed my sadness and drew me closer into his comforting embrace. "I'm sure he has a big old plan of how he wants to ask you. Believe me; if I know him like I do, he is waiting for the perfect moment to pop the question."

"You make it sound like he's going to propose," I laughed nervously.

Nate only smiled. "Don't worry about it Mitch. He will ask you soon enough I'm sure. I can't believe you haven't told Caity yet though."

"Please don't tell her, she is going to kill me if she finds out I told you first and not her," I groaned.

He pretended to lock his lips. "I won't tell her anything, you just better hope he asks you soon so she won't badger me about it."

"That is not up to me," I laughed. "You can take that up with your best friend."

"I just might have too," he said and we danced in silence. "I have to tell you though; you've done wonders on him. I don't think I've seen him this happy ever. It's pulling some great songs out of him which I'm thankful for. They can't expect me to write every song."

"He's been writing songs?" I asked curiously. He never mentioned that to me.

Nate's smile disappeared. "Uh, maybe you weren't supposed to know that. Pretend I never said anything."

"Whatever you say Nate," I said laughing at his discomfort.

"I am really happy for the two of you though. Both of you deserve to finally be happy, and honestly I couldn't have picked anyone better for him."

"That means a lot Nate, thank you," I said, touched by his sincerity. "And you're doing amazing with Caity. Everything is finally working out for her. You're pretty awesome yourself, you know that right?"

He smiled smugly, taking a page out of Shane Gray's book. "I guess I am."

"I'm being serious," I said slapping his shoulder. "Don't ruin this moment. I'm trying to tell you thanks for always being a great friend to me. I can't imagine my life without you in it."

"You're going to make me cry," he said feigning sobs.

I slapped him again. "I will make it hurt next time," I said dangerously but couldn't stop my smile.

"I know, I know. You really are great too Mitch," he said pulling me in for a hug.

We broke apart, all smiles. "I think I'm going to get some fresh air. All this spilling our souls out to each other has gotten to me," I said with a laugh. "Tell Shane I went out for a minute. I'll be right back."

"Don't be gone too long," he said releasing me.

"Five minutes tops," I agreed with a smile, and pushed my way out of the dance floor.

I spotted a door with an exit sign over it – hoping it didn't have an alarm – I pushed through it and welcomed the warm night air into my lungs. Splashes of color filtered the darkening sky. The pink and purple sky reminded me of something my mother always used to tell me.

"_You know Mitchie," she said, "when the sky turns pink and purple like that it means God is granting someone one of their biggest hearts desires."_

"_What kind of desire Mommy?" my five year old self asked._

"_Anything your heart desires," she smiled touching the place of my heart. "It could be a big pony, a dollhouse, a friend, or even love."_

"_Love?" I laughed. "Mommy I'm only five. I can't find love yet."_

"_Maybe you won't find love yet, but one day you will find it and when you do you will just know. You're heart is going to push you in the direction of that person. And I want to tell you something."_

"_What Mommy?"_

"_When this happens, don't fight your heart. Let love happen," she explained knowing my five year old brain wouldn't be able to comprehend her meaning behind this. "Just remember when you see the pink and purple sky something wonderful is about to happen."_

"_Okay Mommy," I cooed hugging close to her body. "I won't forget it."_

The memory of my mother brought small tears to my eyes. I looked up to the purple and pink clouds and said, "I understand Mom. I know I'm falling for him and I'm so scared. But at the same time I couldn't be more excited. I wish you would have been able to meet him, he's perfect. I hope you're doing well. I miss you so much."

"I've missed you too," a deep voice growled from behind me.

* * *

**i love you all!**


	24. Love Story

**im soo sorry but this is soo long. im warning you now. its my longest yet. and i just couldnt bear to take some parts out of it. thats why i had to throw it all in one. theres so many parts and ugh! im sorry its so long! take it in sporatic periods if need be. but im updating soon. dont you love it. =] i hope this one can satisfy you for a little bit. i start work on monday and i might not have much time to write! but fear not. i will try my best to keep you worrying your pretty little heads with what is goign to happen next. you all are amazing.**

**TO THE STORY!**

**disclaimer: yeah i own nothing except the stuff you dont know. whoop whoop!**

**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Four: Love Story**

_**And I said**_

_**Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone**_

_**I'll be waiting, all that's left to do is run**_

_**You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess**_

_**It's a love story, baby, just say yes**_

**Love Story: Taylor Swift**

Air stopped circulating through my body. My mind was starting to numb from the lack of oxygen. I glanced around me quickly searching for an escape. I gripped the railing tightly wondering how much it would hurt if I jumped over and landed on the ground some many feet below.

"Don't you want to say hello?" his voice sounded again, it was familiar and yet it wasn't.

Heart pounding in my chest I inched along the railing trying to get as close to the door as I could.

"I know it's been a long time but I didn't think you would have forgotten about me," he chuckled evilly again.

Something in me clicked. I whirled around coming face to face with someone I never expected to see again in my life. "Jerry," I breathed not believing my eyes, "what the hell? Why are you here? I thought you were in jail?"

Jerry, my father's brother, had been convicted of killing thirteen people in a bar five years ago and was given life in prison with no parole. How he escaped out of the confines of hell I have no idea, but it wasn't looking good for me.

"I received a very important letter from a good brother of mine," he started, edging toward me. "He said he finally killed the broad but the bitch was still at large. He couldn't do anything about it seeing as every cop in the US is after his behind. He thought people might have forgotten about me enough so I decided to break out and finish his dirty work for him."

"How the hell did you get out?" I demanded my voice cracking. The laughter and music from inside drifted out and I wanted to scream – no one would hear me though.

"Your Uncle Jerry is one hell of a convincer," he said stopping right in front of me.

He was just as I remembered him as: large, burly, dirty, bald, and evil. Prison had beefed him up even more. Veins pounded in his bald head – just like my fathers did when he was angry. I noticed a long scar trailing from his forehead winding all the way to the nape of his neck.

"You looking at my scar there sweet pea?" he wondered, chuckling. "You see, the jail mates aren't always the friendliest people on earth. A gang of at least ten tried to get me to join but when I refused they decided, hey why not kill him instead? So they attacked me and sliced open my head but not before I put a stop to them." His beady eyes – so much like _his_ – searched my face hungrily.

I stepped back as he drew closer, my back hit the railing painfully.

"Time has been very kind to you my dear," he cooed disgustingly, bringing a finger to touch my cheek. I shied away which only made him laugh. He caught my face with one hand and forced it back to look at his. "You've grown up to be one pretty little thing." His other hand trailed down my neck and landed on my breast.

Anger and hatred bubbled inside me, something I haven't had to deal with for awhile. The fire in my eyes was building slowly.

"Your daddy was right about one thing," he muttered dropping his head to my neck.

I yelped quietly as his cold harsh mouth sucked at my neck.

"Too bad he doesn't want to keep you around," he said sadly. "You would make me a very good play toy."

Bile rose from my stomach making its way to my mouth. I groaned in pain as he grabbed a hold of me and pushed me roughly up against the railings. "He said you liked it rough," he growled making a dive for the zipper of my dress.

I took my chance and kneed him, with all my strength, in the groin. He collapsed in pain and I ran for the door. The handle wouldn't budge – locked.

"Brilliant," I muttered banging on the door loudly. "HELP! SOMEONE HELP! SHANE!"

Jerry regained his strength and ripped my foot out from under me. I went crashing to the ground, my chin hitting the concrete sickeningly. Blood dripped from my mouth as I tried to regain my eye sight.

"He was right, little bitch loves it rough," he snarled, grabbing at me again and working me out of my dress. "Now you just sit still, real quick, while I have some fun before the real party starts."

Tears were falling from my eyes fast mixing with the rusty taste of the blood dripping from my mouth. Jerry picked me up and moved me so I was sitting on the railing. My head bobbed from the loss of blood and the blow to the floor. His mouth was back on me, this time trailing down my neck and exposed chest. He bit right above my breast and I yelled out in pain. I sucked it back in trying to be strong. _Be strong for Shane_, I kept telling myself.

"Shut up!" he roared, slapping me across the face.

Blood flew from my mouth landing on the concrete below. He hiked up my dress and with a disgusting smile ducked his head under. Using my legs I smashed his head into the pole beneath me. I jumped off the railing unsteadily and raced for the door. He was quick to recover this time and tackled me into the wall. I felt my back crush at the impact. I screamed in agony – _be strong_.

He liked that and pushed me hard against the wall again. The healing stitches in my stomach ripped out, the pain left a sickening feel in my stomach. I was powerless under his angered movements now. He kept my hands pinned to the ground with one hand while he used the other one to pull down one of my straps.

The door burst open next to us and my eyes locked with his. A million emotions passed over his beautiful, angelic face – happiness at finding me, revolted at finding me like this. Caitlyn, Nate, Jason, Tristan, and Raine spilled out onto the landing behind him. Jerry glanced up right before Shane tackled him off me. Caitlyn was at my side in an instant fixing my dress so I looked decent enough. Her eyes practically leaked worry.

"Are you okay?" she breathed worriedly.

"I'll live," I moaned. "I'm not sure I can stand."

Jason had left the landing and returned not but seconds later with a whole force of men. Nate and Tristan both had to pry Shane off Jerry to stop him from pounding his face.

"Stop Shane!" shouted Nate standing in front of him, pushing him back so he would stop. "You are so much better than that. Let them take care of it."

Jefferson Moore pushed through the crowd that had accumulated at the door followed by a battalion of cops. They brought Jerry down in one swift hit. Stacey and Raine appeared at my side helping me to my feet. My back slumped forward and they braced me with their arms.

I lifted my throbbing head and saw Shane looking at me again. His cheek held a new gash and blood was pouring through his teeth. His body was shaking with anger and I knew if it wasn't for Nate and Tristan holding him back he would pounce on Jerry in a second. The boys tried to calm Shane down by telling him it wasn't worth it.

The crowd stopped as Jerry spoke. "You know who's not worth it, it's the bitch right there!" All eyes focused on my beaten body hanging on Stacey and Raine. "She's not worth anyone's time. You just wait; they will be coming for you. Someone will get you eventually!"

Shane walked right up in front of him ignoring the pulls from Tristan and Nate. He stood square in front of the beaten man. "Do not talk about her that way," he growled and proceeded to punch him directly in the nose. He stepped back and allowed the cops to cart him away from the scene. Once the maniac was gone it was everyone's turn to rush to me to make sure I was alright.

Stacey pushed them all away ordering them that I needed space to breathe. The crowd quickly dispersed and soon enough the music had started back up to take everyone's mind off the recent events. Stacey handed me over to Caitlyn knowing that she would want to be the one to be with me.

My best friend's warm brown eyes were frantic with worry. "Mitchie," she breathed, tears forming in her eyes, "I'm so sorry. I can't believe. How? I can't believe it."

I tried to smile to show her I was okay. "Cait, really I'll be fine. Nothing I haven't handled with before."

She didn't buy it. "We are going to take you home now."

"No I don't want to ruin the rest of your nights," I said to the small group of people that were still lingering. "Please don't leave because of me. I'll be fine really. I'll just take a cab home. Laurie is there."

Caitlyn opened her mouth to speak but I stopped her. "Caitlyn Marie Gellar, you listen to me very closely. I want you to get your butt back in there and have fun with the rest of the time we have here. Do not worry about me. I'm alive and kicking, I will go home and rest and see you in the morning."

Her eyes flashed at me but she knew better. "You are impossible," she groaned. "But I love you still." She wrapped her arms around me being careful as not to be too rough. "I will see you later. Please be careful. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Mitch," she asked turning back around. "What should I tell Tristan and Raine?"

"Tell them the truth," I said quickly. "There's no use in lying to them too."

She nodded and retreated back inside. Stacey hugged me for a long time telling me how thankful she was that I was okay. Jason and Nate hugged me after her.

"It's all my fault," Nate muttered sadly holding me tight.

"Don't even start that with me Nate," I scolded him.

"But if I wouldn't have let you come out here it wouldn't have happened."

"Stop it," I demanded. "There's nothing you could have done about it. Now go and have a good time with Caity. Please try to keep her mind off me. I don't want to ruin her night."

"I will try my best," he smiled weakly squeezing me one last time. "I love you."

"I love you too," I said smiling.

Jason stood in front of me awkwardly. "Come here," I said pulling him to me.

"I never really wanted to believe that this is what happens to you," he whispered.

My heart broke at how sad Jason sounded. "It's okay Jason, I'm alright, really."

"I hope you know we aren't going to let this happen to you again," he said defiantly.

"I know," I said with a smile.

"Please take care of my baby cousin," he said motioning to Shane. "It looks like he's going to need it a lot more than you."

He smiled and followed Nate but not before saying, "Don't be long out here."

And finally it was only Shane and I out here on the landing. He stood a good distance from me staring at my face. I tried to move my leg but a shot of white hot pain coursed through my back and I stopped, gasping for breath. He was by me in seconds. His strong hands held me up with ease and he cradled my head against his chest.

"I will never forgive myself for this," he finally muttered into my hair.

I rolled my eyes – he and Nate could be some drama queens. "You listen to me too," I said forcefully backing away from his chest so I could look at him. "This is not your fault. This is no one's fault. No one can help that this happened."

"That still doesn't make me feel any less guilty," he said. "I promised I would keep you keep, protect you. I already broke my promise."

"You have been protecting me from the very moment you entered my life without you knowing it," I told him passionately. "Just you being around has given me so much more strength than I normally would have. The entire time it was happening all I could think of was you and how I needed to stay strong so I would be able to get back to you. You are the whole reason I am still here today."

He reached down and held my neck in his hands. I flinched away unknowingly and hated myself for it. The hurt in his eyes was evident. "What did he do to you?" he asked, more like demanded.

Do I tell him the truth and fear Shane pounding down the jail to kill him himself? Or do I lie and tell him he just hit me? I lost myself in his eyes and knew the answer. I couldn't lie to him ever again. Thankfully Shane moved his hand off my neck and spotted the bite marks. His eyes dropped lower and noticed a couple more peeking out from underneath my dress. He dropped his hands from me as if my skin was suddenly on fire.

My heart sunk even lower dropping my head along with it. "It's disgusting I know. I'm disgusting. This is the whole reason I didn't want to tell you in the first place. I knew it would eventually revolt you into not even wanting to look at me," I said sadly turning away.

He spun around and captured my face in his hands quickly. His quick movements startled me causing my heart to jump erratically. "You are not disgusting whatsoever. You are the most beautiful girl," he rushed. "I'm not disgusted. I'm disappointed with myself. I told myself I would never let you experience this type of pain again. And I look at you and see what he's done to you and it just kills me. I don't understand how people can just take advantage and hurt people like it's nothing. It makes me so sick to think people can do that to someone as innocent as you."

I held onto his arms stabilizing my throbbing body. His passionate words clung to me.

"Never think I'm disgusted of you because someone has done something so disgraceful to you. Nothing like that is ever going to drive me away from you. Nothing is ever going to drive me away from you," he corrected himself. "You mean more to me than my own life."

I was crying again.

"Happy or sad?" he asked wiping one off my chin.

I flinched from the pain. He noticed and picked up my chin carefully. An angered growl moaned in his throat as he saw the extent of the damage to my chin.

"We need to get you to a hospital," he said quickly.

"No," I said angrily. "I am not going to anymore hospitals. Stella can fix me up when they get home later."

He eyed me with those piercing eyes. "I don't know Mo, you seem pretty beat up."

"All I need right now is to get out of this stupid dress and sleep. If I hurt that bad in the morning I'll let Stella look at me."

"I'll take you home," he said easily.

"No, I want you to stay and enjoy yourself," I argued.

"How am I going to be able to enjoy myself when I know you're at home withering in pain?" he asked me.

"Withering in pain?" I asked laughing. "You are such a loser."

"Sometimes I don't understand how you can be so perfect," he sighed stroking my cheek – I let him. "You just went a round with a crazy person and you're really probably hurting bad, but you sit here and smile and joke. How do you do it?"

"Practice," I said simply, but he didn't like my answer at all.

"Come on, let's walk around this way so we don't have to go through the entire party," he said sneaking inside and quickly finding another door to walk through.

He gave up with helping me walk and picked me up and carried me. I didn't have the strength to protest. Before long I was dozing off on his shoulder.

I woke with a fright some hours later. Sweat was pouring off my face and my clothes clung to my damp body. My eyes finally adjusted to the dark room. Caitlyn's bed was empty next to me – I wonder if they were home yet. I looked out the window and my arm fell on something warm. My first instinct was to scream but thankfully I looked down and saw Shane.

The smile on my face widened. I brought my fingers to his face and ran them across his smooth cheek bone. He stirred under my touch. His eyes fluttered open, sleep holding them half closed.

"What are you doing up?" he asked moving into a sitting position.

"Bad dream," I answered childishly.

Even in his sleepy state he was absolutely adorable. His hair was even more unruly than I'd ever seen it, falling into his eyes lazily. My heart swooned as he pulled me back down to lay next to him. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart.

"Are you sure this is okay?" I asked referring to us laying in a bed together.

"After tonight I don't think Mom is going to fuss at anything," he murmured laying his head on mine. "How are you feeling?"

"Truth or lying?"

"Truth," he laughed.

"My back is killing me, my chin feels like it's been split in two, I know my stomach is split in two again. That's pretty much it though."

I felt him shake his head at my blunt honestly.

"What about you Mr. Hero?" I bent my head back to get a good look at his face. The gash didn't look so menacing as before but it was still pretty nasty. A bruise was forming above the cut and on his right eye. "You know you shouldn't have hit him. It gives him the satisfaction that someone actually wants to stick up for me."

"Who was it?" he asked something no one has bothered to ask me.

"My dad's brother," I answered darkly, "runs in the family I guess"

"I don't regret hitting him," he stated. "Someone needed to do something to him for what he did to you."

"You probably scared your mom."

"I probably did," he laughed softly.

He kissed my forehead tenderly and rested his cheek against it.

"You're safe now."

"I'm safe as long as I'm with you," I said truthfully.

* * *

The next couple days were terrible. Terrible because everyone was tiptoeing around me as if I might collapse on the floor at any minute. The children could tell something was up but no one dared to tell them Mitchie was sexually abused and then beaten by a psycho. Hollace was the worst of them all. Her curious questions of why I couldn't go swimming, and why I couldn't play volleyball would go unanswered and make her upset. I hated to see her sad but it was for her own good.

With the annoying pushing of Shane I had Stella look at me to make sure I didn't have too bad of damage. She said she would have to put more stitches in my stomach since they popped out. That gash reopened too – much bigger than before. My whole back was practically in bruises but she said it was a good sign I was able to walk. I will just be very sore for awhile she said. My chin was another story. She wanted to stitch that up too. Nate and Shane held me down while Stella expertly wound her way through my skin to close the huge rip.

Other than that my body suffered minor bruises and some scraps. I was more worried about Shane's black eye that was growing darker by the hour. His lip had a nice cut in it too, but no stitches for him – lucky dog.

Our days were winding down in Aruba. One more big event was planned, and then it would be packing and returning to Ohio. Stacey and Stella thought it would be the worst idea to let me go to the New Years Eve party that Tristan's mother was hosting. Caitlyn begged until they finally caved in and allowed me to go. I only agreed once I found out it wasn't formal at all.

"You can just wear jeans and a shirt," Stacey told me.

My spirits lifted to astronomical heights. "Where's the party at?"

"Some pavilion in the local park." She caught sight of my worried face. "I already told Niki to expect you. They are preparing an unbeatable team to watch the party."

"Tell her thank you," I muttered feeling ashamed for being so paranoid now.

"Not a problem dear, just take it easy please. Don't dance your stitches out," Stacey said and walked into another room.

She left me laughing to myself. "Caity, what should I wear tonight?"

"Something that definitely doesn't show your back. Oh I have the perfect outfit! You will still be able to look cute but all your injuries will be covered." Caitlyn rifled through her wardrobe looking for the outfit that was on her mind.

I sat on the bed, waiting. My mind kept wandering to a certain messy dark haired boy. I wasn't able to get him off my mind for any amount of time lately. He was being so perfect to me lately, but at the same time I wish he wouldn't have this pity party. I've been through much worse than the other night and I've managed to get through it myself. I think tonight I'll talk to him about it.

"Here!" exclaimed Caitlyn throwing some articles of clothing at me.

I picked them off my face. She had picked out a simple white tank top to wear under a tight burnt orange tunic dress. She looked through another drawer and threw a pair of black leggings at me.

"I'm going to look like a pumpkin, and I thought I wasn't going to have to wear a dress," I complained.

"Once you put it on you won't even notice it's a dress. You will be comfortable I promise. It's probably better you don't wear jeans anyway."

"I hate you," I glowered moving into the bathroom.

"I love you too!" I heard Caity shout through the door.

Rolling my eyes I delicately changed out of my loose shirt and shorts and put on Caitlyn's outfit. Surprisingly myself, I actually didn't mind the tunic and leggings – it was much more of a style I would wear. I wrapped the tunic around my body tying it gingerly around my sore waist. The reflection in the mirror looked awkward. I never imagined having to wear so many dresses while being on vacation. They looked foreign on my body.

I tousled my hair a bit to give it somewhat of a livelier look. The brown waves curled for a couple seconds than fell loose on my shoulders. I shrugged; it was going to have to do.

"What are you wearing?" I called from the bathroom, running my hands through my hair once more. My hand ran over a sore spot on my head and I winced. I parted my hair in the back so I could feel the sore spot. Dry crusted blood clung to my hair in clumps. "Caitlyn," I called out uncertainly.

She rushed through the door a worried look on her pretty face. "What's wrong?"

I held the hair up. She gasped appreciatively.

"Are you bleeding still?" she wondered pushing me down on the toilet to work her way through my hair.

"I don't know I just came across it," I said, wincing again as she hit a spot.

"Sorry," she said quickly continuing her search.

"What is it?" I asked, she was beginning to take too long and my nerves were spiking.

I stared at her face in the mirror reading her expressions.

"How bad?"

She scrunched up her face, searching for a reasonable lie. "Not too too bad," she concluded carefully breaking apart the clumps of dried blood.

"Don't lie to me," I whispered.

She sighed, defeated. We never could get much passed each other. "There's a deep cut here Mitch. It looks like you hit your head on a spike or something. It's not bleeding at the moment but I think it will start if you don't get it fixed soon. It really doesn't look good at all. I want to have Stella look at it."

I grabbed her arm pausing her determination for the moment. "Can it wait until after tonight? I just want to have one night where nothing gets in the way of anything. It's one of our last night's here anyway. Let's just have fun and pretend like we're normal teenagers. Please Caity?"

The desperation on my face was killing Caitlyn; I could tell. She knew exactly how I felt and I knew she was going to have to give in and let me win – just this once though. "Okay," she finally sighed, "but you promise me that after tonight I either let Stella take a look at it or we're taking you straight to the hospital once we get home."

"Promise," I said with a smile.

"Good," she said returning me the favor. "Now let me clean you up a little bit."

I situated myself so I was staring back into the mirror. Caitlyn grabbed her makeup bag and went straight to work. Laughter bubbled from my mouth.

"What's so funny?" wondered Caitlyn, rubbing some foundation on the exposed parts of my neck.

"We haven't done this in awhile," I mused.

Caitlyn tapped me lightly. "I was hoping I would never have to do it again," she said sadly.

"Oh let's not get all depressed now," I said, bored. "Tell me how you and Nate are doing. It seems you too have gotten to know each other pretty well."

Irritation showed in her bright brown eyes.

"What happened?" I asked before she could even open her mouth.

She sighed dramatically sitting atop the counter to continue my covering. "Everything's been going well. It's just, he gets so irritated at me sometimes, and I don't know what I do. It's not really bad but I just don't understand it. At times he's so sweet, just like the Nate I first fell in love with, and then sometime's he's another person completely."

Looking on the verge of tears, she shook her head and put on a fake smile. "No need to pretend around me," I told her. "Have you tried to talk to him about it?"

She shook her head switching her instrument. "Not yet, I was hoping it was just a onetime thing and thought it would blow by. Now I'm not so sure."

"Caity," I sighed, "I'm sure it is nothing major. Maybe he's going through some mental boy issues. I mean they have to crack sometime don't they?"

She giggled – score for best friend trying to make other best friend happy. "I hope so. I hope tonight goes well though."

"We will make sure of it," I said sincerely.

"Look," Caitlyn instructed hopping off the counter.

The bite marks along my neck had disappeared – no longer did I look like a vampire! She worked around my chin a little bit to try and blend it in as much as she could. The scratch was still terrible to look at. Other than my chin, you never would have guessed I was mauled by a psychopath.

"You're amazing you know that right," I said hugging her around the middle.

She pushed me off laughing the entire time. "I know, but maybe you should tell me more often."

I rolled my eyes, standing up. "We are going to have a great time tonight."

* * *

"This is much more my type of thing," I said standing on the outskirts of the populated dance floor.

The Peppercorns' New Years Eve party has by far been my favorite out of all the other parties I've been dragged to this vacation. The whole atmosphere was so laid back and casual that it felt more like a backyard barbeque than a party. A band had been set up on the pavilion stage where people were welcomed to come up and sing. I was grateful that no one was pushing me up there tonight.

I was able to sit back and finally relax. Taking my words to heart, Caitlyn and Nate were currently dancing their hearts away – nothing seemed amiss. I smiled to myself as Shane squeezed my hand gently.

"I knew you would have fun tonight," he smiled, taking my breath with it.

"How much longer until the New Year?" I had been looking forward to a New Year. I was going to make the best of it; a new start at a life after everything – that's how I was looking at it.

Shane checked his watch – one of the only people I knew that still wore one. "Ten minutes," he said happily, almost giddily.

"What's up with you?" I asked with a laugh.

"I'm excited for the New Year, duh," he said patting me on the head like I was a little kid.

Thankfully he missed the sore spot. "Whatever you say."

"Hey," he said suddenly, taking me by surprise, "would you like to dance?"

"Sure," I smiled taking his outstretch hand.

The current singer was a slightly older man with a deep country voice. He sang a twangy song about beer and girls and love; it was quite amusing. Shane did a hilarious little jig that had me holding my sore stomach to keep from the cut to burst open from my laughter.

"Shane really, you need to stop," I said in between gasps of breath. "You're going to make me bleed."

He stopped only to make sure I was okay, and then proceeded with his dancing as he discovered I was not bleeding. He was impossible sometimes – adorably impossible. The same singer switched his song to something softer, a ballad. Shane stopped his goofy acts and pulled me close to him. My arm rested easily on his as he grabbed my other one in his slightly bigger one. He placed his other hand on my waist being careful not to press too hard – soreness and all that. We swayed easily and effortlessly, less formal than the Gala; I shuddered just thinking about it.

"Are you sure you don't want to dance like a crazy person to this song too?"

He shook his head smiling in that way that made me uncomfortable. I squirmed in his arms wishing me would stop looking at me in that way.

"What?" I finally asked exasperatedly.

"Mo," he breathed suddenly, taking his hand off my waist and brushing it along my face, "we have had the craziest couple weeks. If you hadn't broken Carley and Jason made me fix her, where would we be? Where would I be?"

"You would be perfectly fine," I muttered – heart beat quickening rapidly.

He placed his finger on my lips. "Shh," he whispered, "let me speak for a minute." I sucked my lips together earning a full laugh from him. "Good, thank you. Now where was I, oh yeah where would I be? Honestly, I don't know what I would be doing. You've changed my life in so many ways in such a short time I can't even begin to tell you all the reasons. From the moment I met you – when you yelled at me – I knew you had nerve and confidence. No other girl would have dared to do that in front of the old Shane Gray, but you didn't care. It didn't matter that I was intimidating or older, you told me how it was and I respected that."

"Then we sang together at rehearsals and something just clicked. I told you I didn't listen to anyone else while I sang," he laughed at the memory, "I lied. Your voice with its purity and sincerity, it captured me – hypnotized me." I remembered feeling the same way about him singing. "From that moment on I knew I had to get to know you. You were so different, so much more complex than anyone else. I needed to figure out the real girl behind the tough cover."

"Then I started to get to know you and I was hooked. Hooked on your smile, your laugh, your easygoing nature, your inability to make me laugh by doing the stupid things. You were in my head and I couldn't shake you out. I finally found out what had been happening to you and all it made me do was want to protect you and be there for you even more. Now you are here with me in Aruba, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

The rate of my heart was beating at a speed I didn't think safe. If you felt my chest it would feel like a bird was trying to flap itself out. My stomach churned with nerves and butterflies alike, kind of like the ones right before he kissed me.

"Mitchi–"

The tapping of the mic interrupted his next thought and drew my attention off Shane and to the stage – yet another interruption courtesy of Tristan. Tristan asked for everyone's attention and he received it. "I hope everyone is enjoying themselves tonight! We're nearing the end of this wonderful year and to bring it in I would like to end it with one of my favorite people of all times singing to us. Welcome to the stage my very best friend Raine Walters!" Tristan yelled backing away from the mic to engulf the blond in a bear hug – I wish they would confess their love for each other already and save everyone else the gag fest.

Raine stepped up to the mic and cheered. "Thank you Tristan for the wonderful introduction! I would like to dedicate this song to two very special people, for all those little interruptions. Mitchie, Shane this one is for you," she said with a smile. She turned and directed the band behind her. The opening chords of the song filled the party. A huge spotlight landed on Shane and me in the middle of the dance floor.

I was sure the redness in my cheeks was seen by everyone in the remote area. All eyes were focused on the pair of us standing – now awkwardly – among the throng. I glanced nervously to Shane, my eyes frantically searching his gleaming eyes. He had planned this. The grin on his face told me thus much. He continued dancing as if the entire party looking at us wasn't bothering him – really, I was going to kill him.

From the stage Raine began her slow love ballad. "I never gone with the wind, just let it flow. Let it take me where it wants to go. Till you open the door, there's so much more. I've never seen it before. I was trying to fly but I couldn't find wings, but you came along and you changed everything."

"You lift my feet off the ground. You spin me around. You make me crazier, crazier. Feels like I'm falling and I, I'm lost in your eyes. You make me crazier, crazier, crazier," crooned Raine softly, her eyes falling on us.

I shied away embarrassed by the fact that someone was actually singing a song to us, about us. By shying away my eyes feel on Shane's and that was more powerful than I ever imagined. His eyes – those blue/brown bombshells – were practically burning my own dull ones to the core.

"Did you have something to do with this?" I asked as Raine continued to sing on stage.

Teeth crept through his wide smile. "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't."

I rolled my eyes. "You are impossible."

"What if I tell you Raine and I collaborated on this? We wrote the lyrics together and she did most of the music," he said nonchalantly.

"You did this all for me?" I asked, completely surprised.

"Mo, when are you going to figure out that I will do anything for you?" He asked this as a more rhetorical question – good thing too, I didn't have an answer.

We moved slowly allowing the affect of Raine and Shane's song sink in. The meaning was beautiful and even more beautiful was that it was about me – cocky I know. Her voice brought back the chorus and Shane joined in with her this time.

"You lift my feet off the ground. You spin me around. You make me crazier, crazier," he sang only to me, lifting me off the ground and spinning me. I giggled like a fool. People watching clapped excitedly. "Feels like I'm falling and I, I'm lost in your eyes. You make me crazier, crazier, crazier."

The words couldn't have been any truer. My heart swam in a valley of unprecedented happiness along with glee. Raine continued the song but Shane had fallen silent. The combination of the song and the actual meaning of the song coming to life were much more intense. Our eyes locked and didn't stray from one another's. I was vaguely aware of the entire crowd now watching us, but it didn't register. The only thing I saw was him.

Her song came to a soft ending and the crowd roared their approval. She belted her thanks while the crowd chanted _kiss her, kiss her, kiss her_. Shane's hand was on my face again, rubbing my cheek, leaving heated trails of desire. He fell to my neck holding it gently so my head was tilted up to look at him. More unexplainable emotions passed through our eyes.

"It's almost midnight!" someone's voice yelled over the mic.

Our eyes didn't break. As the over exaggerated countdown began we remained focused on each other. He opened his mouth wanting to speak but no one words came out. It took him a long second to collect his thoughts.

"Mitchie," he finally breathed, "I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is even possible. I mean I've known you for what two weeks? I just can't believe I'm already falling," he trailed off.

"TEN, NINE, EIGHT!"

"I'm just rambling now but I think you know where I'm heading with this," he laughed softly, caressing the spot on my neck he was holding – a quick blackness filtered over my eyes. I shook my head to bring back some light. "I don't care if this sounds crazy or if it's too soon. You don't even have to say anything, I just have to say it I have too."

"FIVE, FOUR!"

"Mitchie Torres, I'm falling in love with you," he yelled over the noisy crowd.

"TWO, ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he added as fireworks filled the sky signaling a new year.

Finally it was my chance to speak. "Shane Gray," I stated buoyantly, "I've fallen for you so hard that I don't think I can ever find a way to stand."

Happiness rained on his face, the fireworks illuminating his eyes. "I take that as a yes?" he wondered smugly.

"It's about time," I laughed, "but yes. I would love to be your girlfriend."

The clapping and laughter of the enormous crowd drifted to the back of our minds as our lips met for the second time. And this time we didn't care who saw or what happened. We were finally together and nothing was going to stop us from showing how much we felt towards each other.

One lone long piercing scream filled the gleeful night followed by, "Nooo!" Shane and I broke apart, fear written in both our faces.

**

* * *

this one isnt as evil. but still. how can i not leave you with cliffhangers. they just make it all that more interesting. i love you all. thanks for making it through this enormously long post. you deserve three nights of wonderful and peaceful sleep for wasting it on this chapter. =]**


	25. That's How You Know

**i finally dont have a super duper long post! i know - sighs - some of you like those extremely overbearingly long chapters. im sure there are many more to come in the future. :)**

**first i must say wow. over 500 reviews. seriously. you guys. like this rocks. i cant imagine a better group of reviewers ever! your all so into the story and i love that! im so surprised you even like it. thank you for being awesome. all of you get a permanent spot on my wall of totally wicked people.**

**sorry ive been gone for soooo long! i went to orientation and had softball tourneys and work. and its just been hectic! i have a day off so i can foresee some more writing in the near future. im sorry this has taken forever for me to upload! and i seriously do not like this chapter. its icky and i just dont like it. ive edited it like five times and i still dont like it. its mainly a filler. moving things along to the next big event. which has not yet been decided. ha. okay so i really am going to stop now. i hate when i ramble. and i know you all do too.**

**disclaimer: i own nothing of camp rock. althought i do own this witty humor. ha. it humors me it may not you. enjoy! :)**

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* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five: That's How You Know**

_**Everybody wants to live happily ever after**_

_**Everybody wants to know if true love is true**_

_**How do you know he loves you**_

_**How do you know he's yours**_

_**Does he take you out dancing just so he can hold you close**_

_**Dedicate a song with words meant just for you**_

_**He'll find his own way to show you**_

_**With the little things he'll do**_

_**That's how you know, that's how you know**_

_**He's your love**_

**That's How You Know: Amy Adams**

Shane and I pushed through the crowd now gathering along the outside of dance floor. Someone banged into my side which halted me. I bent over gasping for breath trying to ignore painful throbbing consuming my body and failed. Shane noticed instantly and grabbed my hand.

"Slow breaths," he instructed pulling me behind him.

I did as I was told and continued until we'd pushed to the middle of the crowd. Caitlyn's body was draped over someone else. My breath caught in my throat as she moved slightly and I saw a limp Nate lying on the ground beneath her. Quickly moving into action I grabbed my best friend by the middle and hoisted her up off the ground. She beat mercilessly at the air screaming for Nate.

I held her close to my chest hearing her sobs shattering my heart. My eyes looked to Shane who was on the ground next to his cousin, his best friend. His face was white as can be, scaring me. His eyes flickered up for a second and I asked him with my eyes. He shook his head, uncertain. I squeezed my shocked friend even closer, telling her everything was going to be alright.

Sirens sounded in the far off distance. Heads and eyes searched the darkened sky, the same question on all our minds – what happened? Mark had appeared beside Shane easily scooping his son into his strong arms. The unprecedented worry and fright on his face was enough to send tears spilling from my own eyes. The sirens were right on top of us now, the crowd parting so Mark could meet them.

Shane rose slowly, still staring at the space Nate had just occupied. When he finally met my eyes I had to hold back a sob that gurgled in my throat. He instantly wrapped his arms around Caity and I tears falling from his own mistakenly beautiful eyes.

"Come on, I think Jason drove here," he said quietly. "We can follow the ambulance to the hospital."

Together we supported her, walking toward the parking lot. We spotted Jason and Stella hurrying to an SUV ahead. "Jason!" Shane called out stopping his cousin. Stella glanced at the broken Caitlyn and raced towards us. She took her out from under Shane's arm and helped me get her into the car. The three girls sat in the back comforting Caitlyn as much as she could. Jason and Shane navigated themselves to the nearest hospital since we had lost sight of the ambulance – natural.

No one dared to speak in fear of upsetting Caitlyn even more. My confusion was so great that I almost asked at one point. I hated not knowing what was going on. This must have been how it felt for Shane that night in the record shop and then at the hospital – not knowing what was going on. It sucked, I wish I knew.

"Jason," I finally braved, "do you know what's going on?"

His knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. My voice broke through a trance of his. He glanced back in the mirror and frowned slightly.

"Has this ever happened before?" I asked again.

Shane and Jason shared a look between themselves that didn't go unnoticed by me. I felt Caitlyn stir underneath my arm. Her sobs had lessened, tears still dripped down her cheeks silently.

"We don't know what's going on," Jason said robotically, keeping his eyes on the road.

He was no help. "Caity," I said softly, "what happened?"

She sniffed, wiping her arm across her nose – gross but forgiven. "We were dancing and then we stopped to countdown for the New Year," she said quickly, her voice higher than usual. "The fireworks had just gone off and I was about to turn around to look at him, and I saw him on the floor."

"So he fainted?" asked Stella, her inner nurse coming out.

Caity shrugged, unknowing. "I would assume so but how?"

"I don't know Cait," she said softly, hugging her reassuringly. "I'm sure whatever it is he will be okay. He's tough."

"I hope so," she sobbed, her head falling back to my shoulder.

The rest of the ride to the hospital was wrapped in silence. I ran my hands through Caitlyn's hair soothingly hoping it would take her mind off Nate, although I knew it wouldn't. While we were driving I was thinking what if it would have been Shane passed out on the floor? What would I have done?

I didn't have time to think much further than that. Jason pulled into the emergency parking lot and we each bolted out of the door as soon as it was off. Caitlyn was the first one through the door followed by Jason and Shane. I walked; my body was still in recovering stage and couldn't manage this sprint to the door. Stella hung back with me feeling like she would only be in the way.

"She's really torn up isn't she?" Stella asked me as a huge burst of cool air hit us walking into the surprisingly quiet waiting room.

"She can be high-strung about certain things," I told her. "She cares almost too much, not that it's bad, but it just makes her more sustainable to break downs. And since it's with Nate she's extremely worried."

"She didn't seem this worried about you."

I shrugged. "I guess she's had to grow used to seeing me beaten time and time again. It's new for Nate to be the one hurting."

Stella nodded understanding me.

"I have a question Stell," I stated slowly.

She turned to face me. "What is it?"

"Well I promised Caitlyn I would have you check me out. She thinks I might have done some damage to my head," I said nonchalantly.

Stella's eyes about popped out of her head. She rushed forward to hold my face. "What are you talking about? Your head? Where does it hurt? Are you feeling dizzy?"

I pushed her away. "I was brushing my hair today and found dried blood on the back of my head," I said turning around so she could look at my hair. "Caity looked and said there was some type of gash in it."

Being persistent yet careful of my tenderness, Stella parted my hair feeling certain places for bumps or something nurses feel for. "You definitely have something," she murmured touching the wound. "I'll take a closer look at it when we get home."

"Thanks," I smiled.

"Stella, Mitchie we're going to the room. They've got him stabilized," Jason called from the hallway.

Stella caught up to Jason taking his hand, adorable. I blushed at how simple a gesture – that wasn't even directed at me – could make me melt. I'm such a romantic it's ridiculous. My own boyfriend – whoa, it's so weird to be calling him that – walked back to me, his face expressionless.

"How are you doing?" I asked him peering up into his saddened eyes.

"I'm alright, how about you?"

"I'm fine," I lied walking down the hall after Jason and Stella.

Hospitals were like a plague to me. I avoided them as much as I possibly could. Although it seems I've been to more than I would have liked the past month – damn those worrying fools. I don't think people understood just how horrified of hospitals I really was. Just by walking down the extra quiet hallways made my skin crawl. I wanted to turn around and race back to the outside, the normal. Seeing as that wouldn't seem very friend-like, I stayed in Shane's shadow hoping it would hide me from all the unmentionable catastrophes lingering in the air.

Wordlessly I grabbed at his hand, capturing the shaking hand in my own. The unnaturalness of his anxiety was rubbing off on me; he wasn't helping in the keeping my mind off the whole being in the hospital thing very well. Me being the oh-so amazing person I was tried to calm him down and get his mind off Nate as best I could ignoring the uncomfortable state I was currently in.

"You want to know something funny?" I asked as we stepped onto the elevators that would take us up to Nate.

"What?" he asked yet really didn't care.

"Never mind I won't tell you since you're clearly not in the mood," I said shortly, crossing my arms over my chest and staring at the rising red number glowing above the door.

The slight anger in my voice obviously crossed through his worried mind since he quickly moved in front of me, his face filled with a new worry – one for me. I was so selfish. Why did I have to sound angry when I said that? I wasn't really angry at all; I was just trying to loosen him up some. Now he thinks I'm actually mad at him when he's worrying about Nate, which he should be doing.

"I'm just kidding," I said cracking a smile before he could rant about how sorry he was for upsetting me. "I know you're scared for him. I am too, but I don't want you to hurt yourself in the process. He is going to be okay."

He nodded – it was all he could do. The feel of his hand slowly reaching for mine sent a splash of heat down my spine then rose all the way back up to my cheeks. The elevator dinged, and we exited hand-in-hand.

"It's weird to be the one on this side," I said aimlessly spotting Jason and Stella turning a corner ahead. "I'm usually the one in the bed being inspected upon by millions of doctors and their equally stupid interns – against my own will of course."

He shook his head at me unable to speak. I don't know what he would say either way. _It's wonderful not to have to stare at your broken body for once Mitchie_. Yeah, I could hear it now.

Jason and Stella ducked into a room at the end of the next hallway. Lights flickered from above which made me wonder how many people actually came down this hallway on a regular basis. A nervous chill cradled my spine as we poked our heads in the room behind Jason and Stella.

Caitlyn was perched on the side of Nate's bed holding his weak hand in hers. From my spot at the door I could already see the tears streaking down her cheeks. My heart clanged in despair for my best friend. This must be how she always felt watching me get beat time after time. Here she was wondering why the hell her boyfriend was in the hospital. Did it ever stop for her? Hadn't she been tortured enough?

My best friend intuition kicking in, I crossed the room and held Caity close as she broke down again and sobbed on Nate's slowly rising chest. His eyes were resting casually. I would have figured he was sleeping, he looked that peaceful.

Soon enough the small hospital room was pushing the limits on the occupant allowance of the room. The entire Color Clan was present in the room along with a few extra friends like Tristan and Raine. I held Hollace in my arms rocking her back and forth silently, brushing the silent tears from her rosy cheeks. My other hand was a frequent visitor of Shane's. Ever since he set foot in the room his eyes became stony and glazed over. He uttered not a single word to anyone. The only time we communicated was through our eyes. And they were telling me that he was scared. I hoped that he hadn't looked like this after all the times I'd gotten banged up. It killed me to see him now, but knowing I may have put those looks on his face tore me up inside.

A sharp knock on the door drew the entire room's attention off Nate for that one millisecond. A man in a crisp white lab coat entered, my eyes narrowed instantly. "Only family members are allowed to be in here," he said in an over confident voice.

"We're all family," a low growl sounded from Shane.

I squeezed his hand in fright. The unknown severity of this situation was going to start killing me if someone wasn't going to give us some answers soon.

The doctor glared at Shane for a while before deciding it was better not to argue with a room full of frantic people. He cleared his throat before continuing. "Nathaniel Black has been stabilized by our excellent staff and shall be awakening shortly from the drugs."

The room filled with elated sighs, along with overexcited cries from Caitlyn and Laurie. I kept my eyes on Shane's face, watching his worry lines slowly flatten back into his adorable face.

"What happened to him?" Laurie asked amongst all the tears.

"I'm sorry to tell you Mrs. Gray that you're son has Type 1 Diabetes," the doctor announced blatantly, "which means his body isn't producing enough insulin needed to take sugar from the blood to his cells.

Happiness pushed aside by the statement, gasps and frightened sobs sounded from the huge family. "He will be okay though right?" Caitlyn asked her hand clutching Nate's tighter than normal.

"With the right diet, exercise, and awareness Mr. Gray will continue to live a somewhat normal life. I have gathered some pamphlets for you to look through if you would like," he said handing Laurie some papers without any further explanations. "If you don't have any questions I would ask you all too quietly leave Mr. Gray alone. He's extremely tired and needs some rest."

"Can't he come home tonight?" Caitlyn was the first to ask.

The doctor shook his head. "It's New Years and already very early in the morning. We decided it was best to keep him here to let him sleep peacefully. When he awakes in the morning we will allow you to take him home."

The doctor exited the room without answering any questions that Laurie was firing at him. She gave Nate a peck on the cheek before bounding out of the room, in all her pregnantness, after the doctor. The rest of the family said their goodbyes and quietly left the tired boy alone. Soon it was just Caitlyn, Shane and I sitting atop his bed all staring at him curiously.

"What an asshole," I muttered once everyone else left the room. "He didn't explain anything at all. This is why I hate hospitals. I hope you two heard me right. I hate hospitals. So from now on I never want to be in one again, and if I am it better not be me on the bed."

"Oh stop being dramatic Mitch," Caitlyn sighed. "The only reason we put you in the hospital is because you never go yourself. If you go for so long with how you have been it could end up seriously bad in the future. We are only looking out for you."

"Guys," Nate finally croaked immediately ending the rift between Caitlyn and I, his eyes cracked open slightly, "are you two seriously going to fight over hospitals right now? Mitchie, you know we just love you and we want you to be healthy. And Caitybug, you know how much she does hate them. Don't get all worked up just because I'm in one now."

Caitlyn ignored him and proceeded to hug him excitedly. "You're awake!"

"Way to state the obvious," I muttered sarcastically.

"Mitchie," warned Nate before Caitlyn could open her mouth to retort, "let it go."

"I'm not the biggest fan of hospitals, okay," I said shivering as I said the word. "Although I do have to say it's much better to see you in the bed than have everyone looking at me."

Nate laughed quietly understanding my twisted comment. "Glad I could be of use for you."

"How are you feeling?"

He shrugged, yawning widely. "Tired and weird. What's wrong with me?"

The three of us all shared a look. Somehow it ended on me and I glared at the two of them. Why was it that I deserved to give the bad news to him? I mean Caitlyn was his goddamn girlfriend, and Shane was practically brother. So why me?

The look in both their eyes said it all – I'd been in this position before. Well, I don't have diabetes but I'm guessing they think since I've been in hospitals and have practically been beaten to my almost death a million and one times before that I am good with giving or receiving bad news. I'm going for a long shot with this because I honestly have no idea why they want me to tell him.

"You have Type 1 Diabetes," I mumbled grabbing a hold of his hand Caitlyn wasn't pulverizing.

Two things happened at that moment that shocked the hell out of me. First, Nate's eyes widened slightly but not in the way I would have expected them to upon hearing he had this disease. Second, Shane jumped off the bed, sprinted to the door, and slammed it behind him leaving us all in a state of shock. My eyes were glued to the door contemplating on whether I should chase after him or stay with my friend in need.

I turned back to find Nate smiling softly at me. "Go on, he's a little upset at the moment right now."

"You could definitely say that again," I murmured hopping off the bed. I bent down and kissed Nate on the forehead.

"Tell me one thing," he called quietly as I made my way for the door.

Smiling to myself I turned and nodded shortly. "Yes."

I shut the door but not before hearing Caity ask Nate what the hell that was about. Once outside in the creepy ass hallway I spotted Shane a couple hundred feet ahead crouched on the wall, his head between his legs. A sense of urgency to reach him crept to my legs and I half-ran half-hobbled down the deserted hallway. As soon as I reached him I plopped down at his feet, situating myself so I was tucked underneath his raised legs. If someone walked by right now and saw us here I was sure we would receive a variety of strange looks.

I picked his head up with my hands and cradled his gentle face. What I really wanted to do – which was yell at him for acting like a complete lunatic in front of Nate – disintegrated from my thoughts. Tears fell from those startling eyes landing with a little plink on the tile floor. Redness filled his eyes and they were slowly growing puffier from the excessive crying. People used to tell me it was adorable to see boys cry, but this seriously broke my heart.

"Gray," I demanded softly, "what is going on with you? I've never seen you like this before. It's scaring the hell out of me."

A blubbered laugh jumped from his throat. "I'm scaring you? That's something new," he said mockingly.

I hit him gently. "Come on, talk to me. We are together now; I think there is some written rule in the land of relationships that says you must tell me what's wrong with you."

"Oh really? There's a book of this you say?"

"Maybe not a book per se, more of a scroll. Yeah definitely a scroll, it sounds way cooler," I said offhandedly.

He laughed for real this time. "There needs to be a scroll that explains how the mind of Mitchie Torres works."

"At least I'm getting you to smile," I said dropping my arms to rest on his bent knees. "This scroll rule must be working somehow."

He chuckled shaking his head at me. A silence fell over us as he glanced off staring at something in the floor next to me. Avoiding my eye contact, something was seriously up with Shane Gray.

"Really now," I said pulling his eyes back to mine, "what is wrong? We know that Nate has diabetes but that's not the end of the world. It isn't some deadly disease that is killing him. Diabetes is such a common sickness, and so many people are living with it today that you wouldn't even know it if someone next to you had it. I don't know if this Nate thing is really bothering you or if something else is."

Sighing he looked up to the ceiling. "I knew."

"Knew what?" I asked oddly.

"I knew about his diabetes," he said it with a hint of disgust like it was a disgraceful word.

"How? Why?" I asked more confused than ever. Sometimes he spoke in riddles and I've yet to figure out that part of him.

He shook his head again continuing to stare at the extremely appealing white cracked ceiling. "A couple years ago Nate started getting really bitchy to say the least. He was always such a kind hearted being," he added with gusto which made me laugh. "So being the curious person I am I typed in his awkward behaviors into the wonderful Google and out popped websites of diabetes. At the time I thought nothing of it. Nate couldn't have diabetes; there was no family history of diabetes so it didn't seem right for him to have it. I let it slide for once."

"More recently he's becoming more agitated like that one time. Other symptoms were popping up too, he was always tired and hunger but kept losing weight. I brought my concerns to him and he brushed them off like they were yesterday's peanut butter and jelly crumbs. Jason and I had talked about it but never decided to do anything. We left Nate to choose what he wanted to do and how he wanted to go about it. Now I feel terrible that I didn't tell Mom or Laurie. We would have been able to find out sooner."

I stared at him for a long time after he finished talking – just stared. He was beginning to become uncomfortable – I could tell. "Sooo," I dragged out trying to comprehend the ridiculous statements he just told me, "basically you're freaking out because of something you have no control of. It's not like Nate is seriously ill. Yeah, diabetes is a big deal but it's not cancer. He just has to be careful and more aware of what he eats and to watch his insulin levels. He is going to be fine Gray."

"What's with the Gray thing?" he asked amused, light finally shining back in his dreary eyes.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "I kinda like it. It's like a nickname."

He gave me one of those no-shit looks. "It's one of the best I've ever heard of," he said sarcastically. "I mean honestly, how did you ever come to think of it?"

"Beware Gray, I do own the rights to sarcasm and you were not given permission to use it," I scolded him with a wag of my finger.

His full throated laughter filled the barren halls lifting my spirits along with his own. The pure happiness of the laughter lightened the mood greatly.

"So I've come to the conclusion that you are the biggest worrier ever!" I proclaimed struggling to my feet.

He was faster and pulled me up along with him. "I can't help it. I'm used to having to worry for the wellbeing of _all_ my family. Now with you added in the mix plus this diabetes thing with Nate the worry meter is on a serious overdrive."

"I am fine," I said firmly walking ahead of him to show him just how fine I was. "See, no injuries here. I'm indestructible."

"I'm beginning to wonder if that's actually true," he murmured mostly to himself.

I slowed to catch back up with his lackadaisical walk. "Are you okay now? Or do I need to say another clever comment to get you laughing?"

"You are a piece of work you know that?" he laughed quietly, giving me one of those side-eyed smiles that always seemed to catapult my heart to the heavens.

"I guess I should have shown you the scroll of guidelines that came with me. I think you would be able to understand a little easier."

His laughter sailed through the hallway bringing even the dullest lights to life. "I think I'm going to be just fine," he said slinking his arm over the tops of my shoulders. "I mean it's gonna be hard to get used to the whole diabetes thing but I'm sure everything will be fine."

"Good," I smiled, completely satisfied with myself for turning Shane's gloomy attitude into one of joyous sunshine – Mitchie Torres, future psychiatrist.

"Plus I have this really amazing girlfriend that can talk me through anything," he smirked. Hearing the word girlfriend slip from his full mouth sent chills clattering down my spine.

"I'm still not used to that," I replied truthfully.

"It's only been an hour or so," he laughed gruffly, his hand finding my burning cheek. "You're not supposed to be used to it yet Mo."

The past hours replayed through my brain at top speed: the dancing, the confessions, the question, the fireworks, the scream. Too many things happened at one moment for me to actually enjoy the fact that I was now the girlfriend of Shane Gray. If you'd have told me that I would be dating Shane Gray a month ago I would have first given you an extremely dirty look and then probably said something along the lines like _do you really take me for a whorish slut that would want to be with the womanizing Shane Gray_. Look how quickly a couple weeks can change the view of one person.

I looked up at him through my half shaded eyes. His wide blue/brown eyes held my attention and only wanted that of mine. The compassion hidden amongst those glittering orbs was spilling out in ways I'd never been able to read them before.

"I don't think we've had our first proper boyfriend, girlfriend kiss," I purred fluttering my eyes – see what he's done to me!

"Funny," he chuckled huskily, those lips parting just slightly enough, "I was thinking the exact same thing."


	26. Home

**so ive just been informed that ive received the award for worst author in the world! seriously. i dont know where ive been lately. im so so so so very sorry for not having updated sooner. i dunno. i started this chapter and just couldn't figure out where or how i wanted it to go. and really, i dont think this is very good. its rushed and jumbled and kind of thrown together. i had a lot of things i wanted to get established in this chapter but i dont think i managed to do that well enough. im very sorry for you having to read this crap. but i have to get back into the swing of things with them being back in school and not in paradise anymore. hopefully the next one doesnt suck as bad.**

**you guys are still amazing for waiting for this crap and reading it. im so sorry. ha i cant say it enough. and yet you guys are the most awesome reveiwers ever. i will have a good chapter in the very near future for you. dont give up on me now!**

**enough of my mumblings. ill let you get to the story now so you can finish it faster and throw it away.**

**i dont own anything you dont recognize. enjoy :)**

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* * *

Chapter Twenty-Six: Home**

_**I'm going home,**_

_**Back to the place where I belong,**_

_**And where your love has always been enough for me.**_

_**I'm not running from.**_

_**No, I think you got me all wrong.**_

_**I don't regret this life I chose for me.**_

_**But these places and these faces are getting old**_

_**So I'm going home.**_

_**Well I'm going home.**_

**Home: Daughtry**

The familiar crisp wintery air of Ohio enveloped my body in a thick blanket of cold. I could barely tell it was cold, I was just happy to be back in a normal state of mind. Don't get me wrong I absolutely loved Aruba. There just comes a point where the dreamlike vacation needs to end and you need to come back to the real world. Aruba brought me everything and more, but it was time to come home and deal with everything I'd run away from – Mom's death, Dad's craziness, a broken home. Yeah, tell me again why I wanted to come home?

Caity and I trudged through the crunchy snow heading towards her house. If I looked far enough to the left I could vaguely see the outline of my house through the trees. Goosebumps tickled my arms as I thought of how I last left it. I didn't have time to dwell, Carmen and Owen threw open the door and herded us in to the warmth.

As soon as we had dropped our bags they bombarded us with hugs and questions. _How's Nate? How are you feeling Mitchie? I can't believe they tracked you all the way to Aruba. I wonder how they found out. Is Nate doing okay? What's going on with him? How was your vacation? _The questions were endless. Feeling as somewhat of an outsider as I listened to Caitlyn explain all about her wonderful trip and the sad ending, I excused myself proclaiming I was super jetlagged and needed rest. They didn't even argue or put up a fight.

I maneuvered around the house expertly. The door to my bedroom stood open and the minute I walked in I wanted to cry. All my stuff from my house had been moved to this room. The pictures that hung on my walls were lying across my bed waiting for me to arrange them how I would like. All my other possessions were in boxes or stacked on the dresser I'd had in this room forever. I pulled out one of the drawers and choked. Carmen had put all my clothes away for me.

Dropping my bags on the floor, I pushed aside a spot on the bed for me and lay there sobbing quietly. My phone vibrated in my pocket but I didn't have the energy or desire to talk to whoever it was. I snuggled under the covers – my covers from my bed – clutching my stuffed bear, Wallace. He had been placed there by Carmen. At this moment I wished I had Jeffey with me, but I told Shane to keep him at their house seeing as Owen is extremely allergic to dogs.

Hugging Wallace closer to me, I cried quietly wanting nothing more than to fall asleep and forget about all these memories that were floating back to me. Why did it have to wait until I was finally home for my sadness to catch up with me? I never thought the realness of the situation would dawn on me, but now that I'm lying here in a bed that's not my own, in a house that's not mine, the realness has dawned. Don't get me wrong Caitlyn's house is like my home but it's weird to think that I'm never going to be able to go to my house and see her there.

Sleep eventually came to me in fits. I would sleep for half an hour then awake with fright from a realistic nightmare. It would take me an hour to fall back asleep only to be awaked again shortly after. It didn't help that every time the Gellar's came to check up on me I was actually awake. So I had to pretend to be asleep so they wouldn't badger me with questions about how I'm doing. It was the worst night of sleep I've had in a long time.

I was up with the sun the next morning. I didn't even bother to try and sleep some more knowing I wouldn't get any. Tired as can be I stretched my sore body and wandered into the bathroom to shower off my tiredness. It took longer than I would have liked for the warmth to circulate the bathroom, but as soon as I stepped into the shower I was satisfied. Warm water trickled down my aching body relaxing all the sore muscles. I squirted some of my favorite shampoo into my hand – apple with a hint of ocean – and scrubbed the dryness of my hair.

"Ow," I moaned rubbing over the spot Caity had found the other day. I pulled my fingers away staring at them incredulously. A clump of hair matted in dry blood was entwined in my fingers. My gasped was lost in the thundering shower. Scared, I shook the hair from my fingers watching it descend into the murkiness of drain world. I knew I would hate my decision later when it became clogged but I was too freaked to think logically at this moment.

Resuming my shampooing, I was more careful to make sure I went extra gentle on that spot. I worked my fingers against my scalp around the place and found myself relaxing. I ducked back under the water to rinse my hair of the potent bubbles.

_Ah, so refreshing._

I reached down to grab the soap off the tray and a frightened scream left me. The bottom of the tub was filled with red water – blood. My fingers shakily reached back to touch the spot. Droplets of red water clung to them. Now in a slight state of panic I finished my shower in record timing. Wrapping the towel around my head to keep the blood from dripping I raced to Caitlyn's room.

She groaned as I threw open the door with a bang. "Mitchie," she said groggily, staring up at me with sleepy eyes, "what's wrong?"

Without saying anything I unwrapped my towel and turned. My best friend gasped loudly. I heard her move off the bed and move towards me.

"Oh my Mitchie," she breathed taking the bloodied towel in her hands and expecting the damage of my head. "You need to get to the hospital."

"But I'm fine," I argued. "I just wanted to show you how cool it looked."

I knew without turning to look at her that she was glaring fiercely at me. "You are crazy. I'm going to go wake up Mom and Dad. They can drive us to the hospital." She was practically out the door when I grabbed the back of her t-shirt, pulling her back in.

"No, I am not going back to any hospital for a really long time," I said forcefully.

Caitlyn understood my franticness. "I'm going to call Stella then," she said taking out her phone. I tried to grab it away from her but she held me at arm's length. "You promised me."

Reluctantly, I stopped fighting and went to sit on her bed.

"Hey Stells, sorry to call you so early but we have a slight emergency," Caity said glancing to me.

I rolled my eyes dramatically, making sure she saw me.

She ignored me and kept talking. "Yeah, I think Mitchie told you about her head or whatever. Well she just showered and it's bleeding again." She paused to listen to Stella talk. "No she refuses to go to the hospital." Stella said something that made her laugh.

"What?" I asked curious to know what they were saying about me.

"She says you're a stubborn drama queen," she whispered to me.

I made a face but she went back to the phone.

"Yeah, oh really? I didn't know you had to go back to school so soon," she said sadly. "Are you sure? We could always come there." She listened. "Oh true, I didn't think of that. Okay, we'll see you soon. Thank you so much."

"What did she say?" I asked before Caitlyn had a chance to close her phone.

"She's coming over right now. She was staying at the Clan's house. She's going back to school tomorrow."

"Wait," I said abruptly, "she's at the Clan's house?"

"Yeaaah," she said not understanding my sudden panic.

"Caity, she can't tell anyone. I don't want anyone to know. Shane's been through so much lately, I can't bear to have him worry about me. Please tell her not to tell anyone."

"She already said she wouldn't tell anyone."

"Even Jason?"

"Even Jason," Caity said with a smile, rubbing my back calmingly. "If they ask she is going to tell them she went out to do some shopping."

"At eight in the morning?" I wondered sarcastically.

"Hey, she will figure it out. She won't say anything to anyone. Stop freaking out," laughed Caity, pushing me playfully.

I took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm fine. What else are we going to do today?"

"I think Mom wanted to talk to you," she said wearily.

"What?" I asked her. "You have that look on your face."

"What look?"

"The I-know-I-shouldn't-know-about-this-but-I-already-do-and-it's-bad look."

"How the hell can you get that all out of one look?" she asked incredulously.

"You're my best friend. I've picked up on your facial expressions. They are actually really easy to understand now."

"Wonderful," mumbled Caity. "Let's go down and tell Mom and Dad Stella's coming over. I don't want them to worry when she shows up on the doorstep with a medical kit."

I rolled my eyes but agreed. "Might as well go talk to your mom now."

Caity gave me a sympathetic look that I couldn't decipher. What was going on now?

* * *

Stella arrived ten minutes later carrying a case of things I didn't want to know. The whole process went relatively fast thankfully. She first inspected my head which she concluded had a gash and bruise. The reason it started bleeding – according to her – was because it hadn't been properly cleaned since I was hurt. She gently rubbed some liquid that burnt the hell out of my scalp.

"Ahh Stell! That hurts!" I complained pulling my head away from her hands.

Stella nodded at Caitlyn. My best friend took my head in her hands and held me still. "If you don't get this cleaned now it could get infected and then you would really be in a lot of pain. So I think you should sit still and let the doctor fix you up. Okay darling," she said using a maternal voice.

I wanted to kick her but thought better of it. She was holding my head. "Fine," I grumbled closing my eyes tightly.

"I think I'm going to put a couple stitches in," Stella finally said after torturously cleaning out the cut.

"Can you do that?" I asked appalled. "You're not going to have to cut my hair are you?"

She laughed lightly. "You're lucky enough that it's easy for me to get too. Otherwise you probably would have needed to get your head shaved and then get stitched. But since you came to me instead, I have other ways of working around the hair."

"Oh thank you," I sighed with relief.

Getting stitches in your head wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. The cleaning hurt more than the three small incisions she made in my head. Something about that seems so messed up, but it made Caitlyn happy that I was getting myself cleaned up so I dealt with the pain.

"There you go," Stella finally said some twenty minutes later. "Good as new."

"Thank you so much Stells," I said thankfully.

"No problem at all, glad to be of service to you," she said with a smile. "Now I must be going though. I can't be gone for long. I've got to get everything packed up so I can get back to school."

"I keep forgetting you have to leave us," Caitlyn said sadly.

"I'll be graduating from school this summer so then I will be around a lot more," she reassured us. "I'm going to say goodbye to you two now though. I don't know exactly when I'm leaving and I might not see you two again for awhile."

Caity jumped up from her spot on the floor and engulfed Stella in a hug. "I'm going to miss you so much Stell! You have been so good to us."

"I'm going to miss you girls too," she said turning to me. "I want you to be extra careful about where you go and what you are doing. I don't need to get a call from Jason some days from now saying you've had another run in with trouble. I won't be here this time to fix you up."

I smiled sheepishly. "I'll try my best. Thanks for everything Stella. You are amazing."

She extracted herself quickly not wanting to get too teary eyed over her departure. "I'm going to get before I start crying. I'm sure I'll see you girls soon. Good luck with the play and everything Mitch. You're going to be great. I love you girls!"

"Love you too!" Caitlyn and I chorused watching her run through the slushy snow to her car.

"I can't believe she's going to be gone," Caity said, shutting the door.

"It's weird to not have everyone around still, yah know," I told her wandering back into the warmth of the kitchen. "I miss Raine."

"I do too, she was so fun. I wish we could go back and live in Aruba."

"Yeah," I said distractedly for Carmen was standing behind the island giving me a sympathetic look. I hated pity. "What is it?"

Caity stared at me, confused. She glanced towards her mother and understanding flooded her tanned face. "I'm going to go get some stuff ready for school," she said slowly making a hasty exit to the stairs.

I watched her leave, confusion written all over my face. "What's going on Carmen?"

"Come with me," she said gesturing for me to follow her.

Carmen lead me to the den where she shut the door behind me softly. "What is going on?" I asked, scared. "You're starting to scare me."

"I'm not meaning to scare you," she said softly. "I just hate to have to do this now. You just got back from vacation but tomorrow you go back to school and we needed to talk."

"Okay," I said slowly not understanding her whatsoever.

"While you were gone Owen and I managed to fight our way for the right to adopt you. We will be receiving the papers soon, and once they are all filled out you will legally be our daughter."

My mouth curved up in a smile. What was so wrong about that?

"That is the good news." There is bad news? "Last week was a very hectic week. We made sure we were right there in the thick of everything while they were figuring out Juanita's death," she choked out. Carmen and my mom had once been very good friends. "So many coroners had to come and examine her body seeing as they weren't all sure of the real cause of death."

"What?" I blurted out. "Dad killed her. How could they not figure that out?"

"I know darling, I know. Owen and I had to explain your whole history to the doctors so they would understand why it happened. But then they started to ask questions about why you hadn't come forth before and all that nonsense. Needless to say it was a very dramatic week filled with high-strung emotions."

My mind was buzzing frantically. Did they really think Mom died some other way? How and what would have happened then? The one question burning on my tongue threatened to slip. "So, have they found hi m yet?" Oops, it slipped.

Carmen's eyes down casted and shook her head. "I'm so sorry Mitchie." My whole body tensed up. In Aruba I didn't want to believe my uncle when he said that Dad was still running. I thought he was just trying to piss me off even more, but now hearing it from Carmen, I knew it was true. I slumped back against the wall and collapsed to the floor in tears. Carmen fell down next to me pulling my face into her shoulder. "It's going to be okay Mitch. There is no way we are ever letting him anywhere near you. You are going to be safe. There is nothing to worry about."

Her helping words were lost on me. It didn't matter that I was safe. It didn't matter that I was now living with the Gellar's. It didn't matter that I would soon become their daughter. All I thought about was _him_. I could almost see him now, sitting in some godforsaken shack planning his next opportune moment to take me down. He was still out there, and as long as he was still out there I would never be safe. I would never feel safe.

* * *

Since my little talk with Carmen I've taken refuge in my room. Caitlyn keeps trying to come in and talk to me but I won't let her. All I want to do is be by myself and mope. I may sound selfish – scratch that I do sound selfish – but I think I deserve a couple minutes if not hours to myself. Everyone and their momma have been hovering over me the past couple weeks just waiting for me to crack or do something. Well now I'm having my chance to finally crack, and I want it to happen when I'm alone.

Currently, I am snuggled up in an ancient hoodie, flipping through my songbook, and am being very tempted to tear out every song I've ever written. I know what you're thinking: she's really going off the deep end now. I am not though. Although I feel like I need to rip out all the songs that I've written about happiness and love, I keep them. I knew I would regret it if I ever did.

I reached across the bed to the nightstand and snatched the blue pen that had been sitting there for ages. Flipping to a blank sheet in my well used book I began to write.

The writing and words within me overtook my mind and being and I didn't stop until it was extremely late. My eyes wandered back over the couple of pages I'd just used. Words were crammed into every section and space I could find. Scribble marks occupied half of the stuff I'd actually written. If an outsider looked at it they would surely assume I didn't accomplish anything in the amount of time I sat and wrote. They didn't know, thought, that this was the making of a brilliant song. Well maybe not brilliant, I'm just being biased towards my work.

I placed my songbook in a drawer on my nightstand and turned off the small lamplight. Darkness enveloped the room and for a moment I panicked. My eyes quickly adjusted to the lower light level and I finally relaxed. Sighing I dove even further into the big comforter.

I was going to be paranoid for the rest of my life now. I could just see myself in ten years living in an apartment and scared to turn to the lights off because something could be waiting for me in the dark. Yes, thank you father for scaring me for life. You've done a swell job.

Rolling my eyes at my ridiculous thoughts I hugged my stuffed bear, Wallace, closer to me. I've had Wallace since I was ten years old. Mom had forced me to go to one of those awful summer camps just to get away from the house for awhile. I cried and whined the whole way there about how I didn't want to go. Just before she left she gave me this small sandy colored bear with a red shirt that said Peace Love Happiness. Needless to say I survived camp but now I can't sleep without Wallace.

Thinking about him made me think of Mom which made me think of the talk I had with Carmen earlier today: adoption, at large, free, death, safety, funeral. Carmen and Owen took the liberty in scheduling my mother's funeral for me when I was gone. I was silently grateful for them having done this for me. I probably would never have been able to decide on anything. Actually, I wouldn't have allowed them to put her in the ground. But seeing as Carmen took control there would be an actual funeral which was scheduled for Thursday evening.

I shivered just thinking about it. Thursday evening I was putting my mother into the ground to leave her there to rot forever. It didn't get more real than that. Was I ready to say goodbye forever?

The next morning came way earlier than I would have liked. Caitlyn snuck into my room and pounced on me with more energy than I'd ever seen in her this early in the morning.

"Come on," she exclaimed literally dragging me out of the bed, "we have to get ready for school."

School? I'd completely forgotten about going to school. "Do we have too?" I moaned reaching for the comforter.

Caity slapped my hand away and pulled me up from the floor. "Yes, we have to go to school. You need to get a good education so you can go off to a great college and be an awesome person. Or you can just get a record deal because you're such an amazing singer."

"Hm, what's with the inspirational pep talk about my future?" I asked pulling my hood over my head to hide the mess that was underneath. "Are we graduating today or something?"

My friend hit me for being sarcastic with her. "No reason at all, you just seemed really down yesterday and I wanted to try and cheer you up," she said sadly.

Her statement left me choking for words to say. "This is why we are best friends," I told her, grabbing her in a life threatening hug.

Caitlyn laughed knowing she was able to make me smile for the time being. "You need to save this energy for later. You have musical practice and guitar lessons tonight."

"And so the routine starts again," I mumbled unhappily.

* * *

To say that school was uneventful would be the biggest lie I'd ever told. The minute I walked into the school all eyes fell on me for more than one reason.

Reason number one: I missed practically the whole last week of school, out with some sickness. And now I was back walking the halls looking well.

Reason number two: Caitlyn had been lovely to inform me that my mother's death and our entire story was printed in the paper while we were gone. So assuming that everyone now knew about my abusive past and dead mother was pretty dead-on.

Reason number three: I walked into school holding hands with the until then highly single and most sought after Shane Gray.

The mixture of pity and hatred filled eyes followed me around school the entire day. Teachers pulled me aside to make sure I was doing alright and asked if I needed anything. They choose now to worry about me. Thanks for being so worried the other times I completely missed weeks because of being beaten down. A little too late for caring now. Students and said friends whispers stopped abruptly every time I entered a room which left me to believe they had just been discussing my awful history. Enemies – namely Tess – chose to make my life miserable completely disregarding the fact that I've had enough drama to last me for the rest of my life and probably hers.

By lunch time I was ready to jump off the school roof and end my misery right there. This was why I never told anyone before. I can't take pity from strangers and even worse, my friends. People looked at me differently now. Some made it a point to talk to me and ask how I was doing while others avoided me like the plague. It didn't help that now Shane and I chose now to become public. Girls were more standoffish than usual towards me, giving me hostile looks when they thought I wasn't looking.

"Mitchie, stop looking at them. You're just giving them more of a reason to talk if you sit there and glare at them the whole time," Caitlyn clipped taking a sip of her water.

I switched my glare from the table to my left to my best friend. "They won't stop talking about me. I just heard one of those little girls tell her friends that I paid Shane a thousand dollars to tell everyone that he was my boyfriend."

"Do they think I'm that cheap?" chuckled Shane which earned him a punch from me.

"Not helping bro," Nate groaned.

"I'm just playing," Shane said with a laugh. He turned his chair to look at me. "Mitchie, are you really going to let all these people bother you like this? You never let people get to you. If they are going to talk let them. They will get bored of it sooner or later. Just try not to let them see it bothering you or they will continue with it."

My glare melted just by staring into those eyes. "I hate you," I mouthed to him. He knew exactly what I meant by it too.

Nate was turned around in his chair listening intently to a conversation being held at a table behind ours. His curly hair flopped as he laughed at whatever they said.

"Interesting conversation?" Caitlyn asked curiously.

"Shane," he said turning back around, laughter spewing from his mouth, " Shane, they just said you must have lost all your balls to go out with a charity case like Mitchie."

"Why is that funny Nate?" I asked dangerously.

Nate cowered over toward Caitlyn but found her glaring at him too. "They said balls," he offered shamefully.

Shane shook his head at his best friend and cleared his throat. "Okay, that is enough. I'm going to end this right here," he said standing.

"Shane," I hissed at him, "what do you think you're doing?"

"Telling everyone to shove it or I'll kick their ass," he said with a smile. "Excuse me, excuse me everyone! Could I have your attention please for a moment?" The commons quieted and Shane stepped up on his chair so everyone could see him. My cheeks burned in embarrassment. What have I gotten myself into? "Thank you! Now, I've been hearing a lot of things pertaining to me and Miss Torres today. I would very much appreciate it if you would all stop talking about Mitchie and making up these ridiculous lies about her and us. You're going to need to get used to Mitchie and I being together. I'm the happiest I've ever been. She's the most amazing girl I've ever known. So I think you all should shut your cakehole's and find something else much more interesting to gossip about. Thank you!"

His speech had a fair amount of mixed feelings. The majority sided with him and cheered him on as he sat back down at our table. A few, and a very small few, looked livid. My eyes spotted a very goth looking Tess sulking on the wall. Her eyes narrowed as she saw me staring at her. Something in her expression made me extremely uncomfortable. Maybe it was the twisted grin spreading across her hallowed features. I shook my head to clear my thoughts from the twisted Tess.

Shane settled back into his seat with a very satisfied smile gracing his flawless face. "I think that will shut them up for an hour or so," smirked Nate high fiving him.

Shane grabbed a hold of my hand under the table and gave me a reassuring squeeze. "Everything is going to be okay," he whispered to me, his blue/brown eyes piercing my own. "I promise."

No one ever told Shane Gray it wasn't a good idea to make promises he wouldn't be able to keep.

**

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utterly awful but thanks for reading anyway. the last sentence will come later on in the future. its nothing that is needed to be worried about at the moment. but if you would like to worry about it now be my guest. :)**

**thanks for sticking here through all my hectic updates. i love you all!**


	27. No One

**man. this is a quick update! probably one of the quickest ive had in awhile. :) thanks everyone for reviewing and lying to me telling me you love it. and thanks for those who told me it wasnt the best. i need all the critism just dont make it too terrible. this one, i think, is much more put together and i actually sat down and wrote it mostly all at one time. i think the chapters i take like weeks to make really suck cause i forget what ive wrote.**

**anyone have any ideas for how they would like the story to go? of course i have a couple in mind but i would love to hear what you all think should happen. at the moment the story has nothing major happening - at least until i get a really good idea. and maybe one of you could give me one! anyway, thanks for being awesome reviewers as always. seriously over 500 it just amazes me every time i look at it.**

**now for me to stop. :) i dont own any of camp rock, or spectacular at that. everything else is mine. ENJOY!**

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**Chapter Twenty-Seven: No One**

_**You and me together**_

_**Through the days and nights**_

_**I don't worry cause everything's gonna be all right**_

_**People keep talking**_

_**They can say what they like**_

_**But all I know is everything's gonna be alright**_

**No One: Alicia Keys**

Musical practice couldn't come quick enough. I was ready to get out of the whispered hallways and into a place I hoped would take my mind off the tiring day.

"Good afternoon thespians!" M's perpetually excited voice screamed over the humming groups that had acquired in the hall to watch us rehearse. "I hope you all had an excellent winter vacation! But now all play time is over, we are getting into serious business of our show now. It's in less than three months and we need to be perfect! Perfect I say! Practices will now be every day after school except on Fridays. These first couple weeks are going to be dedicated to singing. I've seen some of you act and it's not as terrible as it could be. So now I've got to get your voices ready for the show."

She started her extremely obnoxious yet contagious clap. To satisfy her passionate attitude we all joined in excitedly. "Excellent, excellent! We will be practicing in the vocal rooms this week. Let us head over there."

A collective groan issued from the watching audience. I felt myself relax. I don't know if it was paranoia or what but I had a certain feeling that these people were only here to talk more about me and watch my every move. I was thankful that M chose this week to sing.

Our larger cast moved through the quieted halls of the school chatting quietly amongst ourselves. Shane and Nate stood on either side of me, acting as body guards. They boxed me in so that no one even saw me – ridiculous overprotective boys. I already told them how ridiculous they were being but they just shrugged it off.

After our lunch fiasco today Nate had grown a bit weary from all the disgusting things he was beginning to hear about us and about me. The two took it as their responsibility to keep me away from harm's way – precious right? At first it was adorable, they were so concerned about how the rumors were affecting me. But the adorable point had been crossed over into extremely annoying. I'm a big girl, I can fend for myself. I've been fending for myself practically my whole life. I didn't need anyone else to protect me now.

"Yes you do," Shane whispered to me, soft enough so Nate wouldn't overhear.

Startling me out of my daydream, my eyes widened with confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"You have that look on your face that says you don't need to be protected," he answered. "And the answer is yes Mo, you do need to be protected whether you want it or not."

"I-I've been protecting myself forever," I mumbled lamely, still amazed at how well he could read me – even though I'm not that hard to read.

Humor splashed across his glittering eyes. "Mo it's okay to have people want to be here for you. You're allowed to let people be worried about your wellbeing."

"As long as it's just you and Nate and maybe Jason then I'm okay, but when there's a whole boatload of people worrying about me every second of the day it makes me feel helpless. I've dealt with my issues for a greater portion of my life. Before people would never have expected my life to be so shitty, but now since the whole world knows I can't seem to get used to all the pitied looks."

He glanced forward, understanding flowing over him. "I know what you're saying Mo. It's going to be hard to get used to everyone knowing. People are going to be sympathetic and empathetic. You are just going to have to learn to ignore them. You know when people are being fake and when they actually mean it. You've never let these people bother you before; don't let them start now just because they have a reason to talk about you now. Let them have their five seconds of excitement. I told you they would forget about it soon."

Seeing the bigger picture Shane was describing, I nodded. "Yeah, I'm not going to let these people worry me to death. I have ignored their awkward stares since I was young, I can still do it now." A smile was forming on my face. "Why are you always able to make me feel so much better about such a sucky situation?"

"It's a gift," he smirked.

"A gift of bigheadedness," Nate chortled from beside me.

"Have you been listening the whole time?" I asked feigning anger.

He shuddered hoping he hadn't really set me off. "Not the whole time," he offered.

"It's okay," I said with a laugh. "You're my best friend. You should know what is going on in my mind, but only if it's okay for you to know."

"Whatever that is supposed to mean," he shrugged. I swear I heard him mutter _girls_ but I didn't press him.

The three of us were the last to enter the large vocal room. We took the last three vacant seats at the very back of the room and waited. M scurried around the room gathering up equipment I'd never seen before. She finally stopped back at the podium in the middle of the chairs and smiled up at us.

"Hello my beautiful cast!" she boomed loudly. "I want to get a couple things straight with you before we really get in to rehearsing." I saw her eyes flicker back to me and a mountain of dread fell on me. "I'm sure you all have heard things being said about Miss Torres." The entire cast twisted in their chairs to search for me. I cowered behind Shane, completely embarrassed. "I want to tell you all if I ever hear of any one of my pupils talking about her I will personally see to it that you will never be in another production this school puts on. Mitchie has obviously been through a terrible ordeal and talking about her behind her back won't help her to get over anything. Since I like to think of us as a big family I want you all to look out for her. If you hear someone talking about her kindly tell them to shut their big ugly traps and worry about themselves. Just think if you were in her situation, would you want the whole school whispering about you?"

"The whole school?" I squeaked at Shane and Nate. They shook their heads reassuringly but I could tell from the look in both their eyes she was right.

"If any of you have a problem with this I would ask you very kindly to stand up and exit the room now." M stopped and waited. The room fell silent for a good two minutes as she scrutinized every last one of them behind her big glasses. My heart swelled with admiration, no one had moved an inch. "I knew you all would make me proud."

"This is the last time I want to talk about this so if we are all good let's get to the singing. We all know that you need some extreme help." And that was it. The classroom was alive again with chatter about the musical. My name crossed none of their mouths. I caught M's eyes and mouthed a silent thank you. She nodded back smiling.

"I told you it would be okay," Shane smiled.

"Did you have something to do with this?" I wondered.

"I don't help and tell," he said smugly.

I rolled my eyes and hit him in the chest. "You're impossible. Have I ever told you that?"

"All the time," he chuckled, his mouth falling into that crooked grin that always got me – sigh.

M tapped the podium with her director's wand sharply. "We're going to run through some vocal exercises first and then I'll break you off into groups. Repeat after me."

Doing the vocal exercises made me feel so lame and awkward that I didn't even want to do them. Nate assured me that although they were ridiculously funny they helped your voice warm up. I stopped giggling long enough for me to understand what Nate said. By the end of exercises I felt like I could sing forever.

"That wasn't completely terrible," M groaned from the front. "We will work on perfecting exercises some other day. I'm going to call out characters in groups. I'll send you off to another area to practice in private. I'll come around and make sure you all are actually doing what you're supposed too. First group Nikko and Flux to the back room," she said pointing to an open door in the back.

Shane placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head before following his "band mates" to the back room. Warmth coursed through me happily.

"Second group Courtney and the Spectacular crew through that other door." Nate and I rose together and entered the smaller classroom in the back.

"Who are you playing?" I asked Nate feeling especially stupid for not knowing.

"Someone that does a lot of dancing and singing," Nate answered with a laugh. "I think M kind of created this new character for me. She said I didn't really fit what the actual Caspian was supposed to be so she altered the character a bit."

"Interesting," I said taking a seat on the plastic chairs.

Our group was at least ten or fifteen people. They all made it a point to come up to me and ask how I was doing. Surprisingly they all seemed very sincere. I don't know if M had scared them into being nice or what but I didn't mind this. They made conversation with me as if I was any other student and not an abused and motherless teenager.

M clapped her hands upon entering the room some fifteen minutes later. "Spectacular crew, we will be working on Eye of the Tiger today. Everyone has their songbooks right? If not share with a neighbor and shame on you for forgetting. Keegan is going to be my eyes and ears for your group today. She is also going to play the piano for you so you can get a feel for the music. This rendition of the song is a little different than you're probably used too. But you are all actors and we are famous for making adjustments. I will be back sporadically to check your progress. Really work on harmony today. I don't care if you don't get passed the first page. Harmony and pitch are the essentials. Have fun!"

"Can she never say anything without a lengthy monologue to follow?" Nate muttered to me which earned a hearty laugh from me.

I shushed him by knocking his ribs with my elbow.

"Geesh woman, calm it down with those boney elbows," he glowered.

"Are you okay?" I wondered.

He continued to glare at me seeing as my smile was failing to remain hidden. "I hate you, you know that right."

"Unfortunately I know you're wrong," I said. "I don't know how you could not love me. I mean I am me."

His glare eased into one of confusion. "Sometimes what you say just goes way over my head and I don't understand what you're talking about. Don't worry, the same think happens with Caity."

"That's because we are so much alike it just blows you away!"

Nate didn't have a chance to respond because Keegan chose that moment to bring us to a quiet murmur and tell us to open to the song Eye of the Tiger.

"Mitchie," Keegan called interrupting mine and Nate's staring contest, "come down and we can work on the melody. Everyone else work on their own parts."

Giving Nate a very affection ruffle to his curls I wandered down to Keegan and the piano. "Where do you want to start Master?"

Keegan laughed appreciatively. "From the beginning if that's alright. You are the main voice people are going to hear and we want you perfect."

The next hour and a half were spent perfecting my apparently struggling voice. Keegan was much harder on me than I ever thought she would be. She pushed my voice to levels I hadn't even knew were able to be reached. The only time I actually sang any of the song was when M would come around and ask about progress. Otherwise Keegan dedicated her life to getting me to sing without a single flaw. I had to give it to her, she was extremely determined and I liked that about her.

"One more time Mitchie, you've almost got this section down," she said starting her fingers on the piano again.

I cleared my aching throat which badly needed some water. I heard the music in my head and quickly matched my voice to the tempo. "Rising up, back on the street. Did my time took my chances. Went the distance now I'm back on my feet. Just a girl and her will to survive. So many times, it happens too fast. You trade your passion for glory. Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past. You must fight just to keep them alive."

Keegan applauded enthusiastically. "Perfect! It's just amazing!" She jumped up from the piano bench and hugged me around the middle. "Now all we need to do is finish the song then add everyone else in and it will be really perfect!"

"Thanks Kee," I breathed uncomfortably, the air was being pushed out of me.

At that moment M wandered back in and called us all back to the main vocal room. The groups merged back together happily chatting about their own lessons. I sat, once again, in between Shane and Nate wishing I had a glass of water to wash down the scratchiness in my throat.

"What did you work on?" Nate asked Shane.

"The song at the very beginning Don't Tell Me. It's my major rock out number. I'm rather excited to put some moves to the music. What about you Rock Star?" he asked bumping my shoulder. "How did you do?"

"Keegan says I'm perfect and amazing!" I said with a laugh. "We only worked on this one part of the song. I wanted to shoot myself but she did teach me a lot about my voice. I never knew I could sing so many octaves higher than normal."

"Let's keep those tones buried in you until you know for sure you won't break anything," Nate added playfully.

"You are just in one of those moods aren't you," I joked.

M clapped loudly so all our attention would fall on her. "Excellent rehearsal everyone! Same time, same place tomorrow and the rest of the week. Have a Spectacular evening!"

Laughter followed the group out into the hallway where conversations quickly picked back up. People gave me a friendly wave and a goodbye on their way out. Their actions baffled me and it took me a moment to recover and actually wave back.

"See, I told you not to worry," Shane whispered in my ear.

I rolled my eyes ignoring his self-righteousness. "Are you coming to JJ's tonight?"

"I can't," he said shaking his messy head sadly. "I'm on children duty tonight. Our Mom's thought they needed a night to themselves after the two weeks we had in Aruba."

"I can agree with that," I laughed but found it wasn't as true as usual. I truly was sad that Shane wouldn't be at the record store tonight. Pathetic may it be but I love to have him there. At least I don't have to work tonight, just lessons.

"Hey guys," Nate suddenly said.

We stopped and looked at the curious Nate. "What Nate?" wondered Shane.

"Is it your insulin?" I asked thinking of the first thing that came to mind.

He grimaced. "I'm fine. Did you notice that Tess didn't come to rehearsals today?"

Keegan appeared behind us and answered, "She quit the week before we let out for Christmas break."

Shane and Nate shared a look of disbelief. Hating to not know what was going on I asked. "What is it?"

"Tess never quits anything even if she doesn't have the lead part. Something must really be wrong with her," he said sounding worried. Should I be jealous? "Did she say why Keegan?"

Keegan shook her auburn head. "Not that I know of but if I had to take a stab at it I would say it was you two."

"Us?" I asked, bewildered. "Why would she quit because of us? There wasn't even an us before winter break."

She shrugged. "I heard her ranting to one of her clones one day about how you, Shane, hurt her so much. She would never be able to be in the same musical with you again. And she, of course, blamed you, Mitchie, for the two of them breaking up. I think she's just going into a slight dramatic depression. She's usually given everything she wants, and having two things stripped from her doesn't go well with Tess Tyler."

"So she quit because I got the lead and she couldn't study under me?"

"Right-o there Mitchie."

"I feel awful."

"Mitchie," Shane rounded on me, "don't even begin to feel bad for Tess. She is a bratty rich snob that thinks she deserves everything served to her on a silver platter. She's never had to work for anything in her life. I think that because you were given the lead over her it just killed her."

"She can't be in a musical she's not the lead in," added Nate.

Although they were right it didn't help the awful feeling growing inside me. I was the reason Tess Tyler had become such a depressed emo diva. "Might I add that she looks ridiculous as a raven?" The boys agreed with her but I was too infuriated with myself to care. I turned the beautiful, catty blond Tess Tyler into a raging, depressed, black-hair-dying, emo diva. Yeah, how was I not supposed to feel guilty about that?

"Mitchie don't worry about it. Tess has had it coming for her forever," offered Keegan reassuringly. "Don't let her play mind games with you either. Tess can be very cunning even when she's depressed. This just means she has more of a reason to be utterly evil."

"I agree with Keegan," Nate said. "Tess has always had a ruthless side. When something doesn't go her way she finds some way to make it her way."

My eyes bugged out. Fear beating on my heart. "This is not helping at all," I told Nate pointedly.

Shane stepped in. "Mitchie what we're trying to say is that you can't beat yourself up over something you have no control over. Tess has always been a bitch and karma is an even bigger bitch. Please tell me you won't worry yourself to death about this."

The worry bubbling in me only grew. There was no stopping it now. Nate basically just told me that since I crossed her she was going to get even with me in some way. And I had a feeling if she ever did get even with me it would be terrible. Now I will really never sleep at night, thank you Nate Black.

* * *

"Jason! Jason!" I shouted upon running into JJ Records not too much later – whoa major déjà vu or what. I feel like I do this way too often.

Jason appeared from the stairwell and smiled as he saw Caitlyn and I stop short of the counter. "I was wondering when you two would get here. Usually you're the first two."

"Mitchie had rehearsals and they ran a little over," informed Caity, setting her guitar case on the counter. "Is Stella already gone?"

A trace of sadness jumped in his brown eyes. "Yeah she left yesterday evening. She had to be home in time for an afternoon class today."

"I miss her already," I sighed, hopping up on the counter.

"Yeah me too," Jason said distractedly. "Say, where did you two leave Nate?"

"Shane took him home first. He will be here soon I'm sure."

"How did you two get here then?" wondered Jason curiously.

"Well, see since Mitchie lives with me now we are in charge of picking her up. So Mommy and I picked up my best friend from rehearsals, stopped for a milkshake, and now were here."

The door dinged from across the room giving Jason no chance to retort to Caitlyn's smartass comment. A windswept Nate stumbled through the door. "I think there's another storm coming," he stated rubbing his hands up and down his arms.

"Come on sweetie, let's go upstairs and get you warmed up," Caitlyn cooed grabbing a hold of his hand.

"Don't be doing anything up there!" Jason yelled up the stairs after them. He returned back to the counter laughing to himself. "We're going to have to watch them extra closely now."

"I know what you're saying," I laughed along with him.

"They aren't the only ones," he smiled raising his eyebrows suggestively.

I checked behind me to make sure no one else was wandering around the record store then I hit him hard in the arm.

"Ow woman!" he complained – so much like Nate.

"You need to get your head out of the gutter. That's your cousin, best friend, and band mate you're talking about. You're practically brothers and that's just disgusting to talk about with me."

"I didn't know," he said weakly rubbing his arm still. "I would assume Shane is more aggressive than Nate."

I covered my ears trying to erase my memory. "I cannot believe you just said that."

"Mitch I'm just playing around with you," he laughed. "You have to admit though, I'm sure you thought he would be too."

I shook my head disgusted by him. "You are disgusting. And for your information Shane is nothing like you think he is. He's so sweet and gentle with me. He doesn't push me to do anything."

"At least someone is a gentleman."

I rolled my eyes and jumped off the counter. "Come on teacher, let's go to our lesson before you find another way to make me want to vomit."

A devilish look spread across his face. "Oh, I have all lesson to think of some really great ones."

Why did I have to say anything?

Lessons started out rougher than usual because so many of us hadn't picked up a guitar since our last one three weeks ago. I stumbled over a couple of our chords but was more focused than the rest of the class. Unlike my fellow students I actually played the guitar quite a lot while on vacation – not to sound overly confident or anything, I was just stating the truth.

Caitlyn and I bantered off each other – dueling guitars you could say – laughing so loud that Jason actually had to stop the class to tell us to shut up. We were having too much fun though and even Jason wouldn't put a damper on our high spirits. I think he was mostly surprised by the fact that I was laughing and having a good time.

"Alright class, that's a rap for tonight," Jason ended placing his guitar on a stand. "Much better than I expected you all to be. Now remember, your songs are due at the end of next week. We will perform them in front of the class the following week so be ready. I expect great things from you all. See you tomorrow."

The class dispersed peeling off into groups of twos or threes to catch up with their friends they haven't seen since before break. Nate, Caitlyn, and I stayed back to help Jason put all the chairs and stands away.

"You two are something else," Jason said as he stacked the black chairs on one another.

Caitlyn smiled guiltily. "We were just having a bit of fun. We haven't done that in forever."

"I know we haven't," I gushed along with her. "What is wrong with us? I forgot how fun it was to have a duel with guitars. You should totally try it with us sometime Jason. Us two against you and Nate. We all know you two are the best ever."

"Don't let Shane catch you saying that. He will be miffed that his girlfriend thinks so lowly of him," Jason teased, the playful gleam in his eyes telling me he was about to have a round with the disgusting connotations.

I placed the final stand in the closet and shut the door tightly. "You and I are going to have some problems if you don't stop this crap," I retorted back.

Caitlyn and Nate looked between us fearing an actual fight coming. "I mean how are you going to stop me? You are what 5'2" on a good day? I guess you could call up your macho boyfriend since he loves to get all rough."

I lunged at Jason before he was able to finish his sentence. We crashed to the ground laughing hysterically. Nate quickly pulled me off his cousin. "What are you two doing?" he demanded.

"We're just having a bit of fun," Jason said mimicking Caitlyn from earlier.

"Jason has turned into a man of repulsive innuendos. He won't stop!"

Nate shook his head knowing fully well what Jason was up too. "You give him so much hell over this but you know this is the best he's ever been."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Caitlyn asked the question that was on my mind also.

My stomach twisted together as the boys shared a look with each other. Something passed through them that I was unable to read. "What?" I demanded.

Jason finally sighed. "Before you Shane was a little wide open about a certain things. He wasn't one to go slow. I don't think you have anything to worry about though. His crabs aren't contagious."

"Really Jason, Really?" asked Caity as she held me back from lunging at him again.

"What Jason is really trying to say is that you don't need to worry about anything. Shane was always a big talker but never acted on any of what he said."

Unsettling images of him and Tess in a bed swirled around my frantic mind. Lovely how these boys can just put these images in there without a care in the world. Now I had to worry about my boyfriend having been freaky with other girls before. That was always a lovely thought. Nate's really been racking up the brownie points today – goddamn fool.

Caity released the death grip on my arm and loosely held me by the hand. There was a certain protective touch in the way she held my hand. I sighed – Caity was worrying again and that was never good. She worried more for me than anyone else.

"Don't worry," I muttered. "I'll worry about this on my own."

"I'll take care of Nate for you," she whispered back. "The jackass needs to be taught when to speak and when not too."

I snorted. My best friend rarely ever got worked up and when she did it was downright hilarious. "Are you going to let me take Jason?"

She nodded slightly, her eyes flitting to the two boys standing precariously ahead of us. Their faces held mixes of fear and amusement. Oh poor boys had no idea what was coming to them.

"We can plan tonight," she added. "We don't want to give away anything right now. They will never expect anything coming from us."

I loved her idea already. "I love how you think."

"Oh girl you don't even know the half of it," she muttered out of the corner of her mouth.

"What are you two whispering about?" Nate spoke up, his voice weaving in and out blatantly afraid of what was to come.

"Nothing at all darling," Caity said in a sugary sweet high pitched voice.

They detected the note of sarcasm in her voice and simultaneously backed up. "We are going to go downstairs and close up the shop. See you girls down there." They scooted out of the studio and their loud banging footsteps were heard running down the hallway.

"Oh they are so going to be shaking in their sleep tonight," I smiled, satisfied.

"Do you think we could get Shane in on this?"

"I think he would love it, but first I need to clear a few things up with him about whatever they were talking about in the first place."

"Mitch I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. He has a past with girls, many boys do. I don't think he would be stupid enough to do something stupid."

"He did date Tess for almost a year," I sighed feeling my high-spirited mood diminish.

Caity forced me to look her in the eye. "Mitchie Torres, whatever happened, if it happened, between Tess and Shane was awhile ago and shouldn't change how you feel about him. Yes they dated, but now you are dating him. You have changed him from the god-awful person he was into someone that people are proud of. You have got to understand that no matter what happened before you that he isn't going to make mistakes with you. He loves you too much to run you away."

"Well when you put it that way," I smiled which reassured Caity that I was okay.

"Call him tonight and talk to him about it."

"I don't know, this seems more of a face to face kind of conversation doesn't it?"

"Wait until school tomorrow then?"

"I guess I'm going to have too," I sighed wishing I wouldn't have to wait.

"Caity, Mitchie!" Jason's voice trailed up the stairs and to our ears.

"I guess we're keeping them too," I laughed picking up Carley.

Cait placed her hand on my arm. "Are you sure you're okay? You know you can tell me if you need to talk."

"I'm fine," I flat out lied, "really Cait, stop worrying."

"Okay," she said in a tone that said I-know-you're-not-but-I'm-not-going-to-press-you-any-further. "I love you, you know that right."

"Of course Cait," I said my throat constricting together making it hard for words to come out without water trickling from my eyes. "I love you too. You're the best friend ever."

* * *

**eh not the most exciting chapter but hey. they all cant be packed with drama. :) ideas are always welcomed! thanks again for reading all my crap ive put out here. you guys are amazing.**


	28. Let It Be

**im aalliiivve! im just in college which is surprisingly a little more time consuming than high school. :) haha anyways. since my absense has been soo prolonged. i decided to make a really big update. i guess you could say this has a little bit of everything. im not gonna dwell with long intros. they are starting to dull me. so just enjoy. and thank you all for reviewing and sticking with me for so long. seriously, you guys have no idea how amazing you are.**

**i am done. :)**

**disclaimer: i do not own any songs. or the people you know. everyone else is mine. :) ENJOY!**

**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Eight:**** Let It Be**

_**And when the broken hearted people**_

_**Living in the world agree**_

_**There will be an answer**_

_**Let it be**_

_**For though they may be parted there is**_

_**Still a chance that they will see**_

_**There will be an answer**_

_**Let it be**_

**Let It Be: The Beatles**

The once glorious vacation in Aruba was slowly leaving my mind being pushed aside by homework, rehearsals, lessons, and work. The never-ending heap of things to do continued to pile on top of everything I was already going through. It was Wednesday evening and I had yet to completely master the song Eye of the Tiger, I wasn't ready to miss yet another day of school and to go to my mother's funeral at that, and I had yet to really talk to Shane about how I was feeling.

To tell the truth ever since Nate and Jason brought up the fact of Shane having a past I've become completely insecure about our relationship. I know what you're thinking, how can you go from being madly in love with the guy one day to utterly insecure the next? Honestly, I have no idea myself. It's just a scary thought for me to think that there used to be girls before me – Tess being the main one. I know I need to stop being so naïve but I'm dating Shane Gray. I never really paid attention to who he was dating before but now, now I'm a little worried.

Why am I worried? Well, let's see, from the sound of it he sounds much more experienced than I am which surprisingly scares the hell out of me. I start to wonder if he is as aggressive as his cousins' say he is. Then I wonder why hasn't he tried things with me which gets me thinking; Am I not pretty enough for him? Am I not good enough? See, me thinking never ends up with good thoughts.

All in all, I really needed to talk to Shane which is why I decided to call him and ask him to come meet me at the park.

I was currently wandering aimlessly along the dirt path watching the snow drip from the trees. My destination crept closer as I walked up the small hill. Feeling a burst of energy I raced to the swings and fell down on the one I always used to swing on. Without thinking my feet started swaying back and forth allowing me to easily soar through the cutting winter air.

The brisk wind hit my cheeks leaving them with a burning sensation. I knew I would pay with red cheeks for this later but I was rekindling happy childhood memories and I didn't want to stop. My mind drifted to a time Mom and I got away from the house and discovered this little park. We swung on the swings for hours talking about how one day Mom wished for me to go to a really good college and pursue my dreams of being a musician. I was maybe nine at the time, and I remember telling Mom I wished she and Dad would just be happy together – that was my biggest hope at the time, looked at where that had gotten me.

I sniffed and felt a tear fall onto my chilled cheek. Perfect, crying as usual. Why does it always seem like I cry when I'm around Shane now? It's utterly ridiculous, what does he see in me?

"Mitchie?" His voice startled me so bad I almost lost balance and fell off the swing.

"S-Shane," I answered steadying myself from almost falling, but then I looked at him and my heart lost it.

"Didn't mean to scare you, are you alright?" he asked seeing the tear trails on my cheeks.

His sincere worry was enough to make the tears come again but I held them in strong. "Yeah, I was just thinking about my mom," I said distractedly, dragging my feet through the woodchips to slow my swinging.

Understanding filled his eyes. Wordlessly he took a swing next to me and pushed himself slowly so that he was cutting through the air as I had been moments earlier. I pushed off again and soon we fell into a slow swing pattern.

"What did you want to talk about?" he finally asked after countless minutes of the question burning in his mind.

I knew I shouldn't have sounded so upset or distant or frantic or anything pertaining to being sad on the phone with him. I knew him well enough to know that he would worry until we finally talked about it. Sadly, I don't know how this conversation was going to go with him; that is what scared me most. I didn't want to lose him because of my juvenile worries.

"I don't know how to start but I'm going to try. Promise you won't get mad until after you hear my whole explanation," I pleaded letting my legs slow.

"Promise," he said although he really didn't know what he was promising too, "I doubt I'll get mad Mo."

I sucked up all my pride and hoped he wouldn't either. "A couple days ago, while we were at lessons, Nate and Jason were saying some stuff, just joking around with me, about these things that you'd done before me, and some of the things they were saying got me thinking, and then I started to worry and you know how I worry, and I got to thinking about all these things they were talking about and now that's why we are here," I said this all in one breath.

Shane just stared at me for a second, that's all he could really do. "Alright, I know I've told you before that you talk fast but I don't think I've ever heard you talk that fast, and without a pause for breath. Slower this time? Nate and Jason were saying stuff that never seems to work out well in my favor."

I frowned guiltily. "You promised you wouldn't get mad until after I finished."

He zipped his lips shut and sat back, waiting. My eyes fell on his full lips and I had to shake my head to clear my thoughts – ridiculous how he still had this power over me. I sighed before continuing. "Like I said, Nate and Jason were saying stuff the other day at lessons. At first it was just harmless, I thought Jason was just picking fun at me like he always does. He kept making innuendos about you and I and I handled it for the most part."

"I hope you hit him."

"Hard like always," I smiled.

"That's my girl," he murmured and my heart did that thing again. "Continue."

"Yeah of course," I stumbling having lost my train of thought. "Oh yeah, well we got into it a little bit then the boys said too much and I started to worry. They were saying how you used to be aggressive and really wide open with what you would do. And I don't know whether to believe them or not, but all I see every time I close my eyes now is you and Tess, together. I can't get it out of my head."

Shane leapt off the swing and captured me in his arms before I could sink to the ground. He carried me to a tree and sat us down underneath it.

"I just don't know if what they were telling me was partly true or completely true or all false, all I know is that I haven't been able to stop thinking about it," I sobbed lamely as Shane ran his hand over my knotted hair.

"If you had suspicions about my past you should have come to me first," he said calmly. I can't believe he wasn't mad about this.

"It didn't start bothering me until a couple days ago."

He nodded his eyes drifting up toward the sky.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him.

"Ways of how to kill Jason and Nate."

"Oh Caity and I are already planning that. We were gonna ask you to join in."

"Definitely, we can think of something really good."

"Okay," I said finding myself smiling then stopped. "Shane?"

"Yes?"

"Did you ever _do_ anything with Tess or any other girls?" I asked quietly rubbing my hands together to distract myself from how embarrassing this conversation was.

I heard him sigh deeply which didn't help my nerves. "I can say I'm not particularly fond of my past Mitchie. I've told you of some parts of my life that weren't very good times for me. During those couple years of stupidity I did many things I regret now." Tears crawled to the corners of my eyes, my heart deflating. "Before Tess there were many girls that I can sadly say I don't remember. I went through a period where I would do nothing but drink until I was gone. After that I never can say what happened. But with Tess I can tell you that there were mistakes but we never went all the way. Yes, we dated for awhile. Yes, she makes it sound like we were some kind of sex freaks, but we weren't at all. Yeah there were other things but never that."

Although I should have been ecstatic to hear that they never did anything, the fact that there were girls he didn't even remembered worried me more. "I sound terrible," he groaned kneading the heels of his fist in his forehead. "I can't believe I got so bad to have completely lost control of myself like that. I've made plenty mistakes in my life Mitchie. And sadly enough I cannot take back any of them, even though I wish I could. I'm disgusting myself hearing me talk about this."

"You couldn't help it," I heard myself tell him robotically.

"No that's just it! I could have stopped myself from the drinking, the smoking, the partying, the girls but I couldn't stop myself. It was the only way to get away from the loss. I wasn't able to find a positive outlook on life after he died," he choked. "I was such a disgrace to my family. There was a point where Mom couldn't look at me without bursting into tears. And yet I still went on with my ways after sending my mother off bawling. I'm terrible, terrible."

"Shane, you're not terrible," I said more confidently taking his hand in mine; this brought him back to me. "You are a boy that had just lost his father. You were allowed to grieve. We already talked about how people grieve in different ways. You took a bad outlook on it, and there's nothing you can do about it now."

"I just don't see why you are still with me. After hearing about my past more than enough times, I just don't understand why you are here."

"If anyone should ask that question is me. I've been molested, raped, sexually abused, physically abused, emotionally abused since I was six. I was once a sex toy, how flattering is that? I feel so disgusted with my body and everything about me that I still can't look myself in the mirror without thinking of all those times."

"But you didn't do what I did. I turned myself into the biggest asshole there is, and yet here I am with you now. You amaze me. Even after all this I haven't scared you away?"

"Not one bit," I answered and I knew I meant it. Nothing would ever drive me away from him. What he did before me was just that, before me. I can't dwell on the past I never was a part of, I couldn't have helped him then.

"Mitchie, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me," he stated. "Mom kindly reminds me every day that if I ever screw things up with you that she will disown me and take you in instead. She is more than ecstatic that I've finally found someone stable and down-to-earth. You have completely changed me, and I know I've told you this before but I don't think I can tell you enough. You changed me so much. You made me realize that I didn't have to be a hardass to make friends and be cool. You made me realize there is still good in life after tragedies. You made me realize that, even though I never should have gotten the chance, even I can find the best of love without expecting it. I can't tell you how many times I thank God every day for sending you to me that day in the records store where you called me an asshole and stormed off. That day you changed me. And if you can honestly say that my past won't affect us, I will truly never doubt anything again."

"I never worried about your past before because I knew it didn't matter to me. I fell in love with the Shane Gray that worked his way to be the best son, brother, cousin, and friend he could be. You do have a past but that doesn't affect how I see you now. If it did bother me I would be the biggest hypocrite ever. Of course it freaked me out for that little second there," I added. "But it's good hearing the truth even though it's not exactly the best I'm glad you told me. I think now that we have everything out in the open that we will be able to continue on with us. We are going to make it through everything Shane Gray."

"You have no idea how remarkable it is to hear you say that," he whispered rubbing his fingers over my cheek.

"Just the next time you go into a state of depression take it out on a wall or something, not some other girls throat," I suggested jokingly.

"What if it's yours?"

I contemplated. "Then it's alright."

We shared a soft laugh, our foreheads meeting softly. His fingers trailed gently down my neck to the nape. Carefully he tilted my head up to his and all our worries and speculations floated away with that one simple kiss. At this moment there was no doubt in my mind that Shane Gray was the one for me. I didn't care about his past. I didn't care that he once used to be a womanizer. I didn't care that he used to be a drunken ass smoker. All I cared about was this Shane Gray, the one kissing me senseless right now, and seriously I wouldn't want it any other way.

* * *

"Caity that is ridiculous!" I laughed loudly, feeling my sides ache with happy pain. "That is just cruel and evil, I don't think we can do that to them."

"Oh come on Mo, I've done worse to them in my years," Shane said lounging on the couch of the Gellar's family room.

"I don't know, I just think publically humiliating them would be starting an all-out war. Do we want an all-out war?"

Caity crunched on her bread thoughtfully. "I guess you're right, but don't you think it would be fun to start a prank war. I mean come on Mitch, when was the last time we had a prank war. We used to do those all the time when we were younger."

I smiled fondly at the memories. "You're right but I think we should start off more low-key. Or at least make it super personal."

"Personal, I like how you are thinking," Caity said excitedly. "Give me more."

Adrenaline rushed in my ears. "I was thinking we mess with some of their stuff. You know how they are about their guitars," I explained. "We could do something to really mess with their minds."

"Like smash all of them!" exclaimed Caity.

Shane and I shook our heads at her. "Not that intense but on the lines like that."

"We could make it _look_ like we smashed all their guitars," Shane suggested. "Can you imagine how freaked they would be?"

"That is perfect but how are we going to execute smashing all their guitars but not really smashing them," Caity questioned.

The three of us quieted for a couple minutes, munching on our cheese and bread, trying to figure out a logical way to do this. Then something clicked in my head. "I have the perfect plan," I breathed excitedly beckoning the two of them to come closer.

"That is genius!" Caity shouted after I completely explained my plan to them.

"We are going to have to start the preparations immediately so we get this done before next Christmas," Shane said sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes. "We will get it done. We have too; it's going to be epic."

* * *

The following day came much sooner than I ever would have liked. Carmen and Owen let Caity and I sleep in until 9:30. It took me at least ten minutes to finally roll out of bed and start the water for my shower.

By the time I hopped out of the shower Carmen had already laid out an outfit for me. I picked up the note next to it.

_Mitchie,_

_I thought you would like a new outfit for today._

_No one ever said you had to wear black._

I set the note aside with a small smile and ran my hand over the new clothes. Carmen knew me well enough to not get me a dress. Instead she went the alternative way and bought me a modest dark aqua blue dress shirt that tied in a bow at my waist. She matched a pair of white leggings underneath the long shirt and a pair of aqua ballet flats – no black at all. My smile turned watery at how thoughtful she was for trying to make me feel the most comfortable as I could on a day like this.

Quickly I pulled the shirt over my head and the leggings on my legs. I never could understand how these outfits seemed more comfortable than dresses. I walked over to my wardrobe and pulled out a white vest to add something extra to the outfit. I dubbed myself suitable enough for a funeral – sigh.

"It was going to have to happen sometime," I told myself in the mirror.

With one last look I exited my room and wandered down the stairs to where everyone was waiting in the kitchen. Heavenly smells filled the room but all it did was make my stomach sicker.

"What would you like for breakfast Mitch?" Owen asked kindly, showing off the array of choices on the counter.

"I'm not hungry right now. Thank you though Owen. Everything looks amazing."

"Mitchie you really should eat something," Carmen said entering the kitchen in a stunning coral dress.

"I'm not hungry," I replied distractedly.

Caitlyn bounded into the kitchen behind her mother, wearing a flattering flowy orange top and khaki pants. She slid to a stop glancing around cautiously. "Morning everyone," she said brightly.

I gave her a nod and continued my staring contest with the basket of fruit. I knew that Carmen was motioning for Caity to try and cheer me up without having to look up. I know they were all worried about me, but I think I deserve today to just be left alone. I've dealt with so many worried people in the past month I can barely take it anymore. All I want is to be lost in my own thoughts and remember…

Sometime later Caity shook my shoulder softly. "We're leaving now Mitch. You sure you're okay?"

I nodded glumly. "Yeah I'm fine," I said trying to smile. "Let's get this over with."

The drive to the funeral home was unbearable on many levels. Carmen attempted to make needless conversation with me every five seconds. I almost told her to shut up a couple times but bit my tongue. Caity wasn't any help either. She kept trying to get me to talk about the ongoing Make Jason and Nick Suffer or MJNS Plan. Don't people ever understand when you don't speak that you just want to be left alone?

Twenty agonizing minutes later Owen pulled the car up around the curve and cut the engine off. I was the first one out the door saying I needed to use the bathroom. I sprinted away before Carmen and Caity found a way to come with me.

"Excuse me sir where is your restroom?" I asked the first funeral coordinator I saw.

His rough voice startled me. "Take a left and at the end of this hallway and it's the third door on the right."

"Thank you," I mumbled adverting my eyes from the patronizing ones.

I rushed down the hallway and counted three doors over. I looked in first to make sure it was a bathroom – which it was – and barricaded myself in. I closed the seat and sat upon the toilet and let the tears fall freely. Earlier I had silently promised myself I would not cry today, but from all the extra stress Carmen and Caity were putting on me it was amazing I hadn't cracked already.

How long I sat on the toilet and cried my eyes out I wasn't sure. But I knew someone would eventually come looking for me – knock, knock. I picked my head off my arms and wiped the excess water from underneath my eyes. I sniffed quietly hoping that if no one heard I was in there they would give up and move along.

"Mitchie I know you're in there," Shane's calm voice came from the other side.

Why did he always have to know?

Reluctantly, I opened the door to see a very flustered Shane Gray. "What's wrong?" I asked instantly completely forgetting my minor breakdown.

"You're the one crying in a locked bathroom and you're worried about me," he muttered gruffly. "I swear I'm becoming more messed up each day."

"Shane, seriously, what's wrong?" I asked again pulling him into my secluded hideaway.

"It's Nate," he sighed. "It's just still so hard to get used to seeing him so sick at points. I've never seen him look so vulnerable in my life. He's always been the rock in everything, and now he can barely keep his sugar levels right."

"Is he alright? Did something happen?"

"He's just tired and not feeling the best."

"Did he come today?"

Shane nodded. "He wouldn't miss it."

I laughed darkly turning so I was looking in the mirror. The very little makeup I put on this morning was streaked down my cheeks in the ugliest way ever. My eyes were all red and puffy from crying, and my nose was all red and snotty looking. "How could you look at me without laughing?" I demanded reaching across the sink for a paper towel.

Shane took the paper towel from my shaky hands and proceeded to wipe my face clean. "Because what kind of boyfriend would I be?"

"You," I answered.

"You're right," he laughed. "I just didn't want to laugh because I know today is going to be a really hard day for you and I didn't want to upset you any more than need be."

I blinked back another couple tears. His fingers lingered on my face creating a mask of warmth. I sighed against his touch. "I know. I'm sorry. I just needed to be alone for a little bit. Carmen and Caity were practically attached to me making sure I was alright and I had enough to eat and I was comfortable. I had had enough."

"I know," he said understandingly. "We arrived not too long after you did, and Caity came up to me first and said I needed to go find you. She figured I would be the only one you would talk too."

"She knows me too well," I grumbled hopping up on the counter. I leaned my head against the glass and closed my eyes for a brief second. "I can't do this Shane."

"Yes you can," he encouraged holding my head in his strong hands. The calluses on his fingers brushed my ear making me shiver down to my toes.

"I can't," I said hanging my head.

He brought it back up so that we were looking each other in the eyes. There was no way I was straying away from him now – and he knew that, damn him and his overpowering eyes. "Mitchie Torres you are going to be strong when you go out there. You will show these people just how strong Juanita Torres taught her daughter to be. I know that when you go up there to make your speech you will be flawless and heartfelt."

"Hold up there rock star," I said quickly. "Speech? What speech?"

"Your speech?" he said awkwardly.

"No one ever said anything about a speech," I cried.

"Mo, have you never been to a funeral before?"

I shook my head no.

"Well I guess that's a good thing," he muttered, "but at every funeral they have family members and friends of the deceased come up and say a few lasting words. Since you are her only daughter and child I assumed you were going to have to make a speech."

"I'm in no way ready to make a speech. I'm terrible at speaking in front of people."

"You are not terrible at speaking in front of people. You know your strengths and weaknesses, just do what you know how to do best."

He always spoke in these riddles that I never wanted or had time to decode. "You know I would understand you a lot more if you actually told me what you meant."

He turned the knob and gently pushed me into the frigid hallway. "What would the fun in that be then?" he chuckled, his hand falling on the small of my back guiding me to the small chapel. "Did I mention that you look stunning?"

My heart fluttered begging my chest to open up so it could fly away. "Thank you," I answered quietly, taking the first look into the chapel.

People milled around murmuring softly to one another. I vaguely recognized my mother's mom and a couple distant relations that I rarely ever saw. Grandma finally spotted me and I groaned. "Get ready for the million and one questions coming our way," I muttered out of the corner of my mouth as Grandma drew nearer.

She opened up her elderly arms shakily enveloping me in a frail hug. "How are you doing Mitchie? I haven't seen you in such a long time. You've grown so much. You are so beautiful. You look just like her," Grandma sobbed hugging me again. She stopped crying long enough to notice Shane standing next to me. "Who is this strapping young man?"

"Grandma this is Shane Gray, my boyfriend. Shane this is my grandma," I introduced.

Grandma gasped. "I had no idea you had a boyfriend Mitchie-Moo and an extremely handsome one too. How do you do?"

"I'm great ma'am," Shane answered politely.

A piano began to play from the front of the chapel. Grandma whirred around, more tears falling from her eyes. "Come on Mitchie, it's almost time. Bring your boy with you too."

Like I was going anywhere without him? He was my rock right now, and I needed the most support ever. I followed Grandma to the very front pew and took a seat next to her with Shane falling on my other side. For the first time my eyes fell on the mahogany casket resting not put twenty feet away from me. I gagged slightly and found myself crying yet again. Shane pulled me under his arm and tried his hardest to soothe me.

"We are right here Mitch," Caity's voice said from behind me. She placed her hand on my shoulder and I wanted to cry even harder.

I'd never been to a funeral before so I had no idea what to expect. The service went as how church would usually go. The reverend said a few words, we prayed, the piano played, we sang some songs, and then came the time for speeches. Grandma went first mumbling about times long ago that I never even heard about. She spoke of when Mom was really young and loved to ride the horses on the ranch in Iowa. I learned many new things about my mother at her funeral than I ever would have wanted too.

Surprisingly, Carmen walked to the podium next and gave a very heartfelt speech about how her and my mother had been best friends – my mother's only friend really. A couple other relatives stood up there and spoke about a carefree woman. What really surprised me was that Caitlyn – my best friend – went up there and spoke about my mother. I don't think I ever felt so touched and moved by her than at that moment. From the first word of her speech she had me bawling. I can't believe she actually went up there and talked about my mom. She is seriously the best friend ever.

"And last but not least, Juanita's only daughter will come up and finish off the service," Caitlyn announced solemnly. "She is my best friend, Mitchie Torres." Okay, so maybe she isn't the best friend ever right at this very moment.

Shane pushed me off the pew towards Caity. I embraced her in a hug. "You were amazing, but I will kill you for making me do this," I muttered.

She chuckled watery. "You will do amazing. Just do what you do best."

"Why do people keep saying that?" I groaned heading for the podium.

My heart raced as the spotlight dropped on me and all the eyes in the audience waited for me to speak. Naturally my gaze fell upon Shane – that's where I felt most comfortable. He had that adorable grin on his face that made me smile even in circumstances like these. He cocked his head slightly to the right and I took that as an indicator to glance behind me. Resting, out of view, behind the piano was Carley – so, that's what they meant by do what I do best. Why are they so evilly clever?

I nodded at him knowing my plan and turned back to the audience. "H-hey everyone," I started off by squeaking into the microphone. "S-sorry, thank you all for coming out today to honor my mother. She wouldn't have cared if anyone came to see her off, but I know she would have been pleased at how many of you are here."

"Now as you all might know I am not the best speech giver in the world," I said lamely. "I actually didn't know I was going to have to talk here at all until ten minutes ago. But since I've kindly had some of my friends remind me, I need to do what I do best to get my point across."

I stepped away from the podium allowing collective mutters of _what the hell was she doing_ to course through the chapel. I grabbed Carley off her stand and returned to the podium. Shane was already there with a stool. I climbed up and situated myself with Carley before speaking again.

"I'm going to play you all a little something I wrote a couple days ago," I said running my hands over Carley's strings. "Here we go."

I played Carley softly at first and slowly grew into the melody. "Sha la la la, sha la la la. You used to call me your angel. Said I was sent straight down from heaven. You'd hold me close in your arms. I loved the way you felt so strong. I never wanted you to leave. I wanted you to stay here holding me," I crooned. "I miss you. I miss your smile. And I still shed a tear every once in awhile. And even though it's different now. You're still here somehow. My heart won't let you go. And I need you to know. I miss you. Sha la la la. I miss you."

"I know you're in a better place, yeah," I sang passionately, strumming my fingers smoothly. "But I wish that I could see your face, oh. I know that you're where you need to be. Even though it's not here with me. I miss you. I miss your smile. And I still shed a tear every once in awhile. And even though it's different now. You're still here somehow. My heart won't let you go. And I need you to know. I miss you," I ended softly running my hands over Carley a few more times before stopping the song, one tear fell from my eye and landed on Carley. "I love you Mom."

**

* * *

not too bad right! hahah not my favorite but hey. hopefully the chapters will be getting a little bitter after this. :) thanks for reading.**


	29. The Chronicles of Life and Death

**im baaack! :) it hasnt been nearly that long! hahah this story has a little bit of sadness and a little bit of happiness in it. a good dose of each. and thank you all for reviewing last time! it just makes me smile. i do have one thing to tell you all! ive been writing a new story with the actual jonas brothers. hahah not that im writing it with them, im writing it about them. i really like the story a lot and if any of you want to read it just message me! im thinking about creating a livejournal or something to put all my stories on. ECC would be on it too. its just an idea, but i think you all would really like this new story. let me know if you want to check it out!**

**anyway. hope all of you are having good weeks. i am. its almost the weekend! and im going to my first college football game! im excited. :) well here you go my dears. not my longest chapter ever and i feel i kinda rushed it. i just wanted to update sooon! enjoy.**

**disclaimer: as always i dont own anything. except the people you dont know.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Nine:**** The Chronicles of Life and Death**

_**These are the chronicles of life and death**__**  
**__**And everything between**__**  
**__**These are the stories of our lives as fictional as they may seem**__**  
**__**You come in this world**__**  
**__**And you go out just the same**__**  
**__**Today could be the worst day of your life**_

**The Chronicles of Life and Death: Good Charlotte**

A few more tears dropped from my eyes as the reverend closed the casket, throwing Mom into eternal darkness forever. Four men walked down the aisle solemnly. They were to carry Mom to her final resting place just beyond the chapel. The funeral goers filed out behind the slow moving men entering into the brisk air. I brought up the rear, Caity and Shane flanking me.

We trudged through the mushy grass finally stopping on the top of a small hill behind the chapel. People crowded around the freshly dug earth, waiting.

The reverend stepped to the head of the grave and said another prayer as the four men slowly lowered my mother down. A struggled sob flew from my mouth. Shane drew me to his chest, and I buried my head against him crying violently. With a soft clunk, my mother's casket hit the bottom. I don't know why but that really made my crying even worse – if that was even humanly possible. I vaguely noticed some relatives and friends going up to the hole and dropping either dirt or a flower down. My vision was so blurred I could barely make out the forms of people. I remember hugging a bunch of random people and telling them thank you for coming. Other than that I was lost in the blur of reality.

"Mitchie," he spoke my name softly, tentatively. "Everyone is heading back. Are you ready?"

I sniffed disgustingly, feeling the snot running from my nose coming dangerously close to my upper lip. "Give me a couple minutes," I breathed leaving his protecting grasp.

"Would you like me to stay?" he wondered reaching out for me.

I shook my head. "I need to do this on my own."

"We will be down at the chapel," he said with understanding and left.

With him gone I felt at a complete loss. All my protection and safety was gone, gone to leave me here alone to say my final goodbyes to my mother.

"I never thought I would lose you this early," I told her kneeling down on the hard, cold earth next to her tombstone. "You weren't supposed to leave me yet. I'm not ready to have to deal with life without you. Who's going to tell me when I'm making the biggest mistake of my life like dating Shane Gray? Or that I'm stupid for believing I can be a rock star?"

I sighed running my hand across the granite stone. The tombstone read:

_Juanita Leigh Torres_

_March 23, 1970 – December 15, 2008_

_Beloved mother and friend._

_: Never forget the purple and_

_Pink sky, love is happening._

I choked back another sob. Carmen had suggested I put something meaningful on the tombstone, something personal. This was one of the best pieces of advice my mother ever gave me, and I decided that it should always be remembered.

"Never forget the purple and pink sky, love is happening," I muttered to myself feeling a pang of hurt. "I don't know how you did it Mom, how could you do it for so long? You were such a fighter, and if only I could have fought him off a little longer then maybe we would have been free. I know it was a farfetched idea to ever think we would be free but I imagined it. I imagined you and I living in a small house, safe and happy. We would do stupid things and laughed for hours on end." Tears fell faster now. "But now we will never be able to do those things."

"I know you would tell me to be strong right now but I can't Mom, I just can't," I sighed letting my head fall against the startling cold stone. "I'm never going to see you again. I'm never going to be able to talk to you, to ask for advice on boys, to have you help me get ready for college, or be there before my first ever school production. Nothing is ever going to be the same again."

I could almost hear her say that everything was going to be fine. "I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this on my own. I don't know if I have enough willpower to continue on knowing you won't be by my side every step of the way."

Something unexplainably miraculous happened then. A gust of wind swept across the hill lifting the ends of my hair to tickle my neck. It felt as if a huge weight had lifted off my shoulders. I looked up to the heavens and I knew, I knew she was there with me.

"Mom?" I called out wondering how stupid I probably sounded but I had to try.

"Mitchie," it was like a whisper of the wind but I knew.

I gulped back another sob that was threatening for exit. "Are you really here?"

"It's all in your head darling," she called softly.

I shook my head disbelieving. "Mom, I don't know if I can do this. I'm not strong enough."

The wind picked up again thrashing against my exposed face. "Sweetie, I'm really getting tired of hearing you say you can't do this. You are the strongest person I've ever known. If anyone will be able to get through this it will be you. And don't even start saying who is going to be there to guide you. You have multiple people willing to do anything and everything to keep you happy. Plus you will have me with you there every step of the way."

The tears were rolling again. "I don't want to move on without you. It was always me and you, together until the end."

"We will always be together," the air cooed. "Just because I'm not physically there with you doesn't mean I'm not there. As long as you hold me in your heart I will forever be with you."

"I wish I could really hear your voice now," I sighed running my hand along her name. "I wish you could be here. I wish you could have met Shane Mom. He is amazing. You really would have loved him. I wish he could have met you."

"So what you said before about telling you your stupid for dating him was just a lie?" A chuckled floated by with the breeze. "I wish I could have met him too. I've seen him sometimes, he is such a gentleman and beyond cute."

I giggled in spite of the circumstances. "He is so adorable Mom. And everything about him is perfect. His family is wonderful. Caitlyn's family is terrific for taking me in," I said changing gears completely. "Carmen really misses you and so does Caity. We all miss you so much."

"I miss you too baby girl," the wind whispered. "You are going to be okay though. I know you will. You are my strong daughter Mitchie Leigh Torres, and you have surrounded yourself with people who will make sure you are okay. I couldn't have left you in better hands."

"Mom," I cried dropping my head into my hands, sobbing.

The wind picked up again flitting across the grass, and then it was quiet again.

"Mom?" I asked afraid.

As I feared there was no answer. This only made me cry even harder. I stood briefly only to fall back down on the other side of her headstone. I ran my hand along the smaller, grittier one.

_Matthew Phillip Torres_

_November 2, 1993 – March 14, 1994_

_Beloved Son and Brother_

"Hey baby brother," I said lovingly. "Sorry I haven't been around in awhile. It's been a bit crazy lately, and I know that shouldn't be an excuse but it is. How are you doing?"

I listened to the silence for a couple minutes.

"You know I was just thinking about how if you were still alive you would probably be best friends with Nate Black. You two would have been the same age, and I know you would have been as talented as Nate is. If I can play music there's no doubt you would have been able too."

"I'm so sorry you never were able to live the life you deserve, but I'm also glad you never had to endure our family. Although with you around none of this probably wouldn't have happened. I'm not blaming you at all," I said quickly immediately feeling guilty for blaming my dead brother. "I'm sorry for even thinking that. I wish you would be here with me right now. I know we would have been best friends. I would have taught you how to ride a bike when Mom and Dad didn't want you too. I would have taught you to play the guitar so that you ended up being better than me. I would have taught you so many things."

I wiped a tear from my nose and sniffed. "Watch over Mom please. She gets a little hectic at times and freaks out about little things. I'm jealous that you get to spend so much time with her now. You will love her though, if you haven't already met her. She is one unique person and I love her so much. I love you too baby brother. One day I will be reunited with you and Mom, and then we can start our real family."

I absentmindedly traced my finger over the groves of his name. "I miss you both so much. I know you will take care of Mom though. Tell her I will be okay and that she needn't worry about me too much. I love you."

"Mitchie?" his voice startled me.

I turned finding him standing a few yards away from me not wanting to interrupt. He looked absolutely adorable with his hands pushed into his pockets. His hair blew hap hazardously in the wind falling back over his beautiful eyes with perfection.

"They wanted me to come tell you were heading back to the house soon," he said awkwardly feeling as if he just intruded on a very personal conversation – which he had but I wasn't going to worry about it.

"Come here," I beckoned softly patting the stiff ground.

He obeyed and settled himself next to me.

"Shane Gray I want you to meet my brother, Matthew Phillip," I introduced him to the grave stone. I wonder how crazy he thought I was now.

"I've heard so many wonderful things about you Matthew," he replied expertly.

I smiled feeling my heart lift even higher.

"I've gotten good at talking to grave stones," he told me. "Dad's isn't too far from here."

I reached out and grabbed his hand reassuringly. "We could go see him if you like. I'd love to meet him."

"Another time," he said kissing my temple, "everyone is waiting on us."

I sighed turning back to my mother and brother. "Well I guess this is goodbye for now," I spoke. "I will come back soon. I'll keep you informed about what's going on." I stood placing my hands on both headstones saying a silent prayer in my head. "I love you two so much."

He wrapped me in his arms holding my head close to his chest. I listened to his heart beat and found myself strangely at ease. I tucked my arms in his heavy dress coat feeling the fabric of his loose button down shirt.

"I'm going to make sure everything is okay," he whispered his mouth on my hair.

I nodded. "I believe you."

* * *

After the dreadful funeral we all wandered back over to the Clan's house for some lighter celebrations. The mood was, of course, solemnly happy and bitter. The parents secluded themselves in one of the sitting rooms relishing quiet time away from the children. Caity, Nate, Shane, Jason, and I were all stowed away in the very bottom of the house, hiding out in their recording studio.

"I wish Stella was here," I said sadly leaning back in the swivel chair.

"She wished she would have been able to make it but she had an interview for the hospital today. She told me to tell you how much she wished she could have been here for you today," Jason said lightly running his hands along the piano keys.

Caity sighed from atop her stool. She banged her head against the mic hanging from the ceiling. "I wish there was something to do," she sighed. "Everyone is so depressed and I don't like it."

Nate opened his mouth ready to tell Caity off for being disrespectful. "It's okay Nate; I feel the exact same way Caity. I just want to forget this day and yet I don't. I'm sick of being sad and crying I just want it to stop."

"Let's do something fun then," Shane suggested playing with the light dimmer.

Nate went over and placed his hand over the buttons ceasing Shane from his fun.

"You are such a fun sucker," he complained.

"What do you propose we do?" wondered Nate guarding the controls from his cousin and failed miserably. Shane easily shoved him out of the way.

"This is why I want you guys to come to the gym with me," Shane state resuming his play with the lights. "If you weren't so scrawny you'd actually have a chance against me."

"No need to discuss each other's scrawniness right now," I said stepping in between the cousins. "Let's figure something fun and productive to do."

A wide smile spread across Shane's face. He looked to Nate to see if he was sharing the same thought – apparently they were. Their heads swiveled to Jason who was staring absentmindedly at the ceiling. They rolled their eyes and looked back at each other.

"What is the big idea that's so awesome you can't even speak of it?" Caity asked finally having had enough of their staring contest.

Nate smiled at her widely. "We are going to have some fun today."

"Fun, like what fun?" Jason voiced from his chair.

"My friend," Shane said placing a hand on his shoulder, "today we are going to make us a music video."

The words music video hung in the air everyone sinking in their meaning. I smiled for the first time that day. "That is a perfect idea!" I exclaimed excitedly. "It will be like making a movie just with music."

"Duh Mitch," Nate said sarcastically. "That is the point of a music video."

"This is going to be so fun!" Caity exclaimed hopping off her stool. "I have some film stuff we can use. I used to have a film fetish."

"We have plenty of stuff to use," explained Jason, "we just don't know how to use any of it."

Caity beamed. "Leave the handling to me. Now we just have to decide what song you want to sing and we can begin the making process!"

I hadn't seen Caity this excited in days. Her enthusiasm even pulled me out of my funk. "You guys have so many songs I can't think of them all," I sighed thinking through their songs.

"Which song do you guys want to use?" Caitlyn asked glancing between the three boys.

They shrugged simultaneously. "We were actually thinking on the lines of having us all be in the music video," Shane suggested.

"Well we can all be in the video, we just have to choose what song you want to use," I said.

"Actually," Shane began slowly, "we've been tossing around some ideas, and we've actually started writing a new song."

"A new song?" Caity asked looking to her curly headed boyfriend for confirmation.

"Yeah," Nate chimed in, "a song with multiple parts, girl parts that we need filled."

"How many girl parts?" I asked breathlessly, feeling the excitement bubble in me.

"Three," Jason said, "to match our three."

"Well," I said looking between the five of us, "where are we going to find a third girl part?"

The door to the studio burst open followed by the stumbling of two bodies into the room. A flash of blond was seen before I was being tackled to the ground with more force than necessary. I was pinned to the floor by a person whom I had no idea who it was. I pushed the body off and screamed.

"OH MY GOD! RAINE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" I shouted hugging the blond girl tightly. The other body that crashed in with her waved from his spot by Shane. "Tristan? What the hell you guys? Why are you here?"

"Well my friend," Raine smiled hugely, her pretty face alive with happiness, "we received this call from a very good friend saying that we were needed to sing some damn song. So that's why we are here!"

"Actually Mitch the guys thought it would a nice to surprise for us to come visit you for a little while after today," Tristan said pulling me from Raine taking his turn with hugs.

"Seriously you guys came down just to cheer me up?" I asked with disbelief.

"Yup!" exclaimed Raine grabbing a guitar off the wall. "We came here to take your mind off things and to make a kick ass music video. But I guess first, the appropriate thing would be to ask how you are doing. How are you doing Mitch?"

No one had asked me that today and I was thankful for that. But having Raine and Tristan here made everything so much better that I didn't even mind that question. "I'm doing alright," I admitted. "It's going to be tough but I have the best group of friends that will get me through everything."

"Group hug!" proclaimed Raine grabbing Tristan and my necks. Everyone else grabbed onto each other, hugging.

I smiled sincerely happy that I had these great friends to get me through times like this. I had no doubt in my mind that I was going to be okay. I looked around at each of my friend taking in a moment to absorb the reality of everything. There was Raine and Tristan who just flew god knows how many hours to spend a couple days with me just to make me feel better. There was Caity, Nate, and Jason my everlasting supporters. And then there was him.

The corners of his mouth turned up giving me the most adorable shy smile on the earth. I clung on to Caity's and Raine's shoulders tighter fearing that if I didn't I would end up on the ground. My heart quickened as it always did when I was looking at him.

With these people surrounding me I would never have to worry again. I was safe and unbelievably happy. These people, my best friends, were going to be there for me every step of the way and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Now let's make a video!" exclaimed Raine loudly.

* * *

"What Nate?" I asked for the hundredth time. "You've changed the lyrics at least seven times since we've started."

"I just can't get the right words out," he complained scratching out yet another set of words.

I gingerly took the paper from his grasp. "Let me look."

Nate and I were on lyric writing duty along with Jason who was accompanying us with the music. Tristan and Caitlyn were dubbed the music mixers and filmmakers. They were trying different things out on the computer for when we were actually ready to do this thing. That left Raine and Shane to set up our "stage" or whatever they wanted to call it. We weren't really sure what they were planning on doing for this song. They wanted it to be a surprise until we were ready.

"Sing it to me what you have so far," I said reading over his chicken scratch. How this boy managed to churn out perfect song after perfect song with this handwriting was beyond me.

He perched his guitar on his knee, closed his eyes, and sang. "A words just a word 'til you mean what you say. And love isn't love 'til you give it away. We've all gotta give. There's something to give. To make a change."

"Send it on," I chimed in with him softly, "on and on. Just one hand can heal another."

"Yeah that sounds really good," he said snatching the paper from my hands and scribbling something else in.

"How about this for the next part?" Jason continued the melody as Nate wrote something else down. "Be a part. Reach a heart. Just one spark starts a fire. With one little action the chain reaction will never stop."

"Make us strong. Shine a light and send it on," he added.

"Sounds like a solid chorus if you're asking me," I said running my own hands over Carley. My feet were perched up on the control board as I transitioned from chord to chord allowing the beautiful music to wash over me. It's amazing what three guitarists can do together.

"This part I wrote for you and Shane," he smiled shoving the paper to me. "Sing the first line."

"Give me a melody," I instructed Jason quickly memorizing the lines.

Jason played softly giving me something to work off of. "Just smile."

"Just smile," Nate repeated crooning.

I did smile, imagine that. "And the world."

"And the world," he repeated again.

"Will smile," I sang and nodded for him to join me, "along with you."

"That small act of love that's meant for one will become two."

"I like it," I smiled excitedly. "Does this mean you and Raine are singing the first part?"

He nodded. "You and Shane sound better together. Not that we don't I just love hearing you two sing. Caity and Jason are going to sing another part later on in the song. I have this idea all in my head. I want us all to sing every chorus but each chorus kind of displays each pairs singing. Raine and I will take the first chorus. I want you and Shane to take the second one. Then Jason and Cait get the third, while the last one is for all of us to go crazy."

"That is a really good idea. I am trying to picture this in my head. I really, really like this song though," I stated running it all through my head. "It's meaningful, powerful, and beautiful. Wow that was a lot of –ful's. What made you want to write this one?"

He shrugged running his hands over the guitar again. "The three of us sat down at some point this week and decided we wanted to write a song that all our friends could sing. Something that was fun to sing and fun to listen too."

"I have to say this may be one of your best pieces of music to date Nate Black," I said leaning back in my swivel chair.

"Thank you; now let's finish this thing so we can record it."

"Do you really think we are going to be able to get this all done in one night?"

"I don't know but we can definitely try," he added. "Maybe we can bribe Mom into not making us go to school tomorrow."

"Yeah right," laughed Jason. "You think Mom is going to let you all skip school. I mean I don't have school and neither does Raine or Tristan so we can finish the music video."

"And what are you going to do when four of the singers just go missing?" Nate questioned him. "How are you going to work that one in?"

"Oh yeah," he said slowly. "I guess that won't work."

"Just as long as I can go to musical rehearsals I'll be happy. I would gladly miss school to do something fun like this."

"Let's see how far we can get tonight and then worry about tomorrow."

"Well Master, let's create some music."

Finishing the entire song took less than an hour with the way our minds were thinking. If Nate and I always wrote songs together we would have at least ten done in two days. We were on the same wavelength when it came to what words should go where and what note to use on that part.

"Everyone!" Nate shouted standing atop his chair.

Caitlyn and Tristan looked up from the computers in the room off to the right of the control room. Raine and Shane ran through the door having been in another room planning all the actual video stuff. "We heard Nate scream!"

"So we came running!"

"We've finished the song!" he said proudly thrusting the papers into the air.

Raine and Shane bounced on him first stealing the papers. They read it together eyes widening at how good the piece really was. "Damn Natie, you even have all our parts down here for us. You are one hell of a composer," Raine said.

"I had a lot of help," he said nodding to me and Jason.

"I just played the music and added a helpful word here and there, but really it was all Mitchie and Nate."

Shane smiled at me. His blue/brown eyes filled with excitement and adoration. "This is really good you guys. Can we start it now?"

"Definitely we need all the time we can get," Nate said rising from the chair and wandering into the studio. "It's going to take you guys a while to get the music right."

"Pa!" laughed Raine. "I don't think he knows who he's talking too."

"We are the perfection of musical pitch," Shane agreed following Nate into the studio.

"Well since you all are just so perfect let's try and get this done in one try. It's going to take longer to make the actual video. Making the voice tracks is cake. Everything else is a bit complicated. And we are on a tight schedule."

"Does he always get this worked up about these things?" I whispered to Shane.

He nodded solemnly. "This is Nate at his best. He wants everything to be perfect."

"Why would you want it to be anything less than perfect?" questioned Nate coming up behind us.

He startled us into silence. "Now if everyone is done complaining," he said glaring at Shane and I, "I would like to go over a few things before we start. This is not going to be like any kind of studio you've sang in before. We aren't going to spend days perfecting every little hitch in your voice. We are going to go through sections a couple times then but the entire thing together. If it sucks we will do it again, but I know with this group that I doubt it will take much time to perfect this song. It's not particularly hard. Just read over your parts and get a feel for the vibe. Thank you!"

"He's going to be a great leader one day," I mumbled to Shane quietly.

"That's why he's the President!" he laughed tousling his younger cousin's curls.

"Quit playing around and sing!" he ordered everyone.

Being smarter than to disobey Nate in this mood, we all situated ourselves by the microphones. Nate and Raine took the middle microphone while Shane and I took the one to their left, and Caity and Jason took the one to their right. Jason and Nate started the melody on their guitars and basically taught the other three how to sing the song. Tristan fooled with the sound adding techno flair to the music which really pissed Nate off. It was quite amusing to see Nate like this. I rarely ever witnessed him in action like this and I loved it.

The preparation for the song went better than I think any of us expected it to. Everyone quickly learned their parts, and we were able to put it all together quicker than Nate anticipated.

"Alright everyone," Nate finally said an hour or so later, "I think we've got exactly what we need. What do you think Tristan?"

We all faced the window waiting for Tristan to speak. "I feel like your manager guys," he chuckled but quickly adopted a managerial tone. "The last set was the best by far. I think we've got everything we need on the vocal aspect of the song. All that's left is putting it to a movie!"

"Excellent!" cried Nate. "Five minute break and we will start with the next step. Good job everyone!"

"I swear he is going to be a dictator if he ever becomes president," Shane hummed to me.

"I heard that Shane! And just you wait and see!"

Shane smiled at his cousin lovingly. "I love you too Natie."

The atmosphere was above perfect. Everyone was satisfied with the song and the music. Laughter filled the studio every moment we weren't singing. This was the perfect idea to get my mind off Mom. She would have wanted me to do something productive instead of wallowing by myself. I glanced to the ceiling knowing that beyond that and beyond the confines of this house my mother was up there somewhere hearing everything that was going on.

"This is all for you, Mom," I muttered soft enough so that Shane couldn't hear. And it really was for her. Right then and there I decided I would dedicate all my singing ever to her. Something that would keep me motivated to keep writing and playing when nothing else seemed to be going right. As long as I knew Mom was there with me, I was okay.

* * *

**i just loooove this song and wanted to use it in here somehow. :) the making of their music video next chapter! any ideas on what they should do? thanks for reading!**


	30. Higher and Higher

**guys. 30 chapters. i cannot believe ive written 30 chapters at all. i never imagined writing more than 10 for this story. but all your excitement and eagerness has kept me wanting to write more and more. sorry this chapter has been a bit delayed. at one point i couldnt find the right way to write this chapter and everything i wrote just sounded like CRAP! but i finally found some inspiration and i wrote this all in a day. yeah for procrastination! seriously though. you guys are amazing. you never fail to leave me the best reviews ever. and thats really whats keeping me going with this story. hahah not really. i loove this story and your going to be stuck with it for as long as you want to be.**

**so this is a long chapter. i cant deny that. and its all about the process of making the music video. the full video will be explained - i guess - in the next chapter. im not really sure how im going to explain a video to you but i will figure it out! if there are suggestions, im always welcoming them. :)**

**ive decided to dedicate this chapter to: utmy123. she gave me great ideas for this chapter and if you dont see them in this one they will be in the next one! just when i figure out how to explain a video. hahah uuuummm. this is the most ive rambled in awhile. alright im just gonna stop and let you read because im sure your oh so excited to read it! hahah i need sleep.**

**i do not own the song send it on. you may recognize some of the things from the actual music video in here and i do not own any of those. everything you havent seen before is mine! im done. ENJOY! :)**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty:**** Higher and Higher**

_**Your love, is lifting me higher**_

_**Than I've ever been lifted before**_

_**So keep it up**_

_**quench my desire**_

_**And I'll be at your side, forever more**_

_**You know your love (your love keeps lifting me)**_

_**Keep on lifting (love keeps lifting me)**_

_**Higher (lifting me)**_

_**Higher and higher (higher)**_

_**I said your love (your love keeps lifting me)**_

_**Keep on (love keeps lifting me)**_

_**Lifting me (lifting me)**_

_**Higher and higher (higher)**_

**Higher and Higher: Jackie Wilson**

I was having so much fun.

Currently we were standing outside the Clan's house, clutching each other for fear of drifting apart and never being able to get back through the thicket of snow.

"Nate why are we out here again?" complained Caity playing the pathetic sounding girlfriend part perfectly.

Nate peaked out from behind the camera, a sudden rush of wind pushing his hood off his curly head. "This is just perfect for this bit!" he shouted over the roaring wind. "Alright one last time so we don't freeze to death. Places everyone," he instructed moving from behind the camera instantly being replaced by Tristan.

"No, no, no best friend," Raine sang dragging Tristan away from the camera duties. "We are all going to be in this part. We are all friends here."

"But whose going to man the camera?" he wondered reaching out for his baby.

Raine slapped his hand away. "All we need to do is press play and let it go. We can take turns of moving the camera so we can get some different angles. You have to be in some of the footage though."

"Why?" he wondered.

"You are not allowed to know," she said mischievously kicking up some snow with her boot. "Come on everyone! Let's have a snowball fight!"

Shane appeared from behind me tackling me to the ground. My body fell easily through the fresh snow landing with a poof of white powder. My laughter rang along with his mixing in perfect harmony. He bent his head down to shake the snow off his hood landing on my face.

I squealed my fingers gripping his biceps tightly from the rush of cold. He swooped down unexpectedly and captured my lips in a heart stopping kiss. The texture and taste of his lips was enough to make me go into a coma. His hand reached underneath my head and gently lifted it higher moving me into a semi-sitting position. I opened my eyes for a split second and caught the hovering of a camera right over his head.

I pulled away to peek around his bushy hood. Jason circled us sticking the camera closer to our faces. Raine and Tristan gathered behind him giggling profusely at us. Shane took notice of my wandering eyes and glanced behind him.

"Come on give me a big kiss," he said as if he were a big-time photographer.

I waited for Shane to object and make some funny remark about how childish Jason was being but that never happened. Instead he turned back to me, eyes filled with passion and want. Before I could even process another thought he was kissing me again; this time with more fervor. I lost all hope of thinking straight. All my mind was focused on was how delicious it felt to kiss this gorgeous boy. I pulled him back down on top of me knowing this would please the crowd.

"Let's keep it PG-13 children!" shouted Jason wandering away from us having had enough of our make-out scene.

Giggles and laughter floated from a few feet away but sounded more like five hundred. Everything and everyone on the outside of Shane and I was unimportant and dead to me. We broke the kiss, our breathing heavy and in sync.

"Where did that come from Mr. Gray?" I asked biting my lip nervously.

Shane held back a moan. "Don't do that it makes you that much more appealing to me," he complained huskily, his fingers fumbling over my trembling lips.

"You didn't answer my question," I said biting my lip again loving how once I was able to have a certain power over him; it made me feel loved.

"He asked for a show didn't he?" he laughed bending down to my mouth again. "Mmm, I could do this all day."

My eyes blinked quickly trying to regain focus. "Why can't we?"

His low laugh bounced from his mouth pulsing through my very veins. I shivered from the tingling sensation. "It seems that we are needed to finish this movie," he stated glancing towards the laughter. "Incoming!"

I ducked just in time to miss being pelted by a huge snowball. Unfortunately Shane wasn't as lucky. His face dripped with the bright snow. I kissed a patch by the corner of his mouth and wriggled out of his grasp.

"I think this means war!" I shouted running all-out at my best friend.

I tackled her into the snow and proceeded to push the coldness all over her. "No fair Mitch! This is cheating!" Caity shrieked trying to push me off her.

Our laughter joined in with the rest of our friends. Snowballs whizzed past my head at speeds I never thought snowballs could travel. After a while our bodies grew tired of falling repetitively back in the cold snow and decided just to remain there. We lazily moved our arms and legs to create beautiful angel patterns in the snow.

"I'm going to name mine Chester," Shane said carefully rising from the ground as to not destroy his masterpiece.

"Chester?" I choked with laughter. "Chester sounds like something you'd name a rabbit."

"Chester is masculine," he defended. "And my angel is very masculine."

"Whatever you say Gray," I giggled taking his hands.

"Children!" Stacey called from the front porch. "I've got hot cocoa ready!"

We each stopped mid-movement and darted to the house. Jason halted a few feet from the base of the porch. "Hold on, who has the camera?"

Tristan bobbed on his feet holding the camera over his head like a prize. "Don't worry I'm all over this thing!"

Nate high-fived his friend appreciatively. "Everyone take five for a cocoa break, and then we're going to move on to the next segment."

"Such a slave driver," I muttered following him into the warmth.

He rounded on me with a playful smile. "Making an excellent video takes time and precision Mitchie. Don't you want an amazing video?"

"Yes?" I answered meekly.

"That's what I thought," he smiled marching forward.

I stuck my tongue out at his back.

"Real mature Mitch!" he called.

"How can he do that?" I turned to Caity disbelief written all over my face.

She shrugged looping her arm through mine. "It's one of his many gifts. I think he has eyes in the back of his head but that's just me."

I giggled hugging my best friend close to me. "Thank you so much for everything Cait."

"Hey this is what best friends are for. When faced with tragedy best friends are required to create some sort of diversion to take away the pain," she said goofily.

"You're such a goof," I laughed heartily, "but I love you. Really though, thank you so much."

"It's no problem Mitchie," she smiled.

* * *

"No Raine you're supposed to take two steps to the left then jump, not the right!" Nate yelled at her for at least the seventeenth time.

"I swear if I didn't love him I would kill him," Raine said through gritted teeth doing the take again with over exaggerated movements.

Nate did not appreciate the mockery. "Do you want to have to do it thirty more times?" he asked in a very professional-like voice. "Because I will make you do it thirty more times even if you don't need too. Now do it once more the right way. And action!" He settled back into his directing chair – more like a kitchen chair with a makeshift banner hanging on the back of it – and watched Raine nail the jump finally.

"Excellent, cut!" Nate yelled jumping from his chair. "Take a break Raine. Mitchie you're next."

"Good luck with the dictator," Raine growled as she passed me taking a seat against the wall dramatically.

I smiled facing Nate, waiting for instruction. "What will you have me do Director?"

"I want to you to come over here," he said directing me to the back corner of the studio where a makeshift backdrop was hanging. The backdrop was a bright blue sky with a big sun lingering in the background surrounded with luscious hills of rolling green.

"Where the hell did you get this?" I asked in awe.

"We have lots of crap like this just hanging around the house," he said nonchalantly positioning me. "You'd be surprised at how many of these we have."

My mouth hung open as he continued to fix my stance.

"Now I want you to bend down like this," he said squatting down, "and picked up these flower petals and toss them into the sky."

"That's all?" I asked. "Piece of cake."

"Smile and look happy," he said retreating to his director chair. He motioned something at Tristan and yelled, "Action! Pick up the flowers and toss them slowly."

I did as I was told.

"No, no, no! That's all wrong!" he complained rushing back into the studio.

"What?" I asked with a laugh. "I picked them up and tossed them."

"Alright try this," he said, "focus your attention on them while you're picking them up. Toss them high in the air and angle your head so you look like you're watching them but close your eyes. Count to two and open your eyes, face the camera, and smile adorably."

"Hey don't be calling my girlfriend adorable now," Shane said leaning up against the studio doorframe.

My eyes shot to his and immediately smiled. "See just like that!" Nate proclaimed falling back to his director's chair. "Shane just stay and be inspiration but don't talk. Alright Mitch you ready?"

"Ready," I repeated breathlessly tearing my eyes away from Shane.

"And action!"

This time I did exactly what Nate had instructed me to do. I envisioned the camera as Shane's head and gazed at it in a way only Shane would ever see.

"Brilliant Mitchie!" Nate exclaimed hurrying back to me arms opened for a hug. "You are much easier to work with than Raine."

"I heard that you asshole!" Raine yelled from her spot on the wall.

Nate ignored her. "I think we only need one more shot for today and we're done. We will pick this up tomorrow after school."

"What are we doing tomorrow?" I asked as the disassembling process began.

"I have a couple ideas in mind but I need to run them by someone first. By the end of the day I will tell everyone what we are doing."

I nodded, fair enough. "Come on Shane; let's get this place cleaned up."

"Sorry Mitch I gotta go get some things for the shoots tomorrow," he said awkwardly, backing out of the studio.

"Oh okay, that's fine. Raine?" I asked.

"Sorry my love, I've got to help ol' Shaney here," she said following the boy out of the room.

Caitlyn waited for them to exit the studio before walking over to me. "I wonder what their up too."

"Me too," I said offhandedly watching Shane's back disappear around the corner.

"So that last part was perfect," she said bumping my hip. "Tristan just played it back for me. You look serenely happy."

"I'm so glad we did this," I told her rolling the backdrop up.

"I'm so excited to watch it when we're all done! It's going to be so cool. Tristan is a master with all these sick effects on the computer. I know it's going to look amazing when he's done with it."

"I'm sure you could show him some of your tricks too," I said tossing a booklet at her.

"Eh, I don't know if I'm ready for the music video editing thing. I'm more of my own mixer."

"You never know until you try," I said dangling a rubber band from my finger.

She rolled her eyes and grabbed the other end of the backdrop. I slipped the rubber band over one end and tossed another one to Caity. We placed the backdrop in a corner and decided we might as well wander back upstairs.

Carmen, Stacey, and Laurie were seated in the parlor sipping from mugs and chatting softly. They looked up as we entered the room.

"Hey girls," Carmen smiled, "you about ready to head home?"

I yawned on cue. "I am pretty tired."

"Let me go get Owen and we will head home. You gotta get up early and go to school tomorrow too," she said painfully reminding me that school still existed.

"I forgot life outside this house still existed," I mumbled to Caity.

She nodded her agreement. "I'm going to go find Nate real quick and say goodbye."

I would have done the same but I had no idea where Shane was at the moment. Carmen rose from her chair and ventured back to the kitchen to find Owen. Laurie hugged me and waddled down the hall to where her bedroom was. Stacey smiled at me cocking her head to the side. Shane did the exact same thing when he was thinking thoughtfully about something.

"You doing okay Mitch," she said as a statement more than a question.

"I'm doing alright," I answered sighing heavily. "It's a lot easier to not think when I'm doing a lot of things at once. By the way thank you so much for getting Raine and Tristan to come in."

She shook her head. "That wasn't me at all honey. That was all Shane."

"Really?" I asked but deep down had known it was him the whole time. "You haven't seen him around have you?"

"I can't say I have," she said sadly.

"Not a big deal, I'll see him at school tomorrow."

She moved across the room and enveloped me in a big hug. "If you ever need anything Mitchie we are all here for you. You don't have to go through this alone, so if you ever want to talk I know exactly how you are feeling right now."

"That means a lot Stacey," I whispered clutching her shoulders tightly. I begged for the tears to stay still.

She pulled back, tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. She blubbered and pulled me close to her again. "I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am to have you in my life, our lives. You have brought so much joy and happiness to my family, especially my boy. The immense gratitude I have for you I will never be able to explain. You've done so much for me that I want you to know I will do anything you ever need me to do."

"I didn't do anything special," I stuttered unsure of what else to say.

"That's just it; you don't know how much you've influenced our lives. Everyone always asks where you are especially the little ones, Keavy Rae and Hollace. You are the perfect idol in their eyes and in mine. I honestly can't even put into words how thankful I am to have you in our lives. You are like another daughter to me, and I hope it stays that way for a long time."

"Me too," I muttered the tears falling freely now.

She held me at arm's length. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know I would start crying," she laughed wiping at her eyes. "I just am so happy to have you here with us. And I'm sincerely sorry about your mother. I know she must have been an amazing person to have taught you all your well-mannered ways. I want you to know though that all of us, that is Carmen, Laurie, Julie, and I, plan on acting as your surrogate mothers' in different ways. So in reality you've lost one but have gained four. I know that will never replace her but it's better than having none at all."

I sobbed-laughed. "You don't know how nice it is to hear that. I'm so glad I have all these amazing women in my life. Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of it."

She cradled my head against her chest. "The pleasure is all mine." We swayed on the spot for a couple minutes letting our tears fall silently. I never felt more comfortable or more cared for in my life.

"Alright I've finally found Owen," Carmen said emerging from the kitchen with Owen in tow. "Where's Caitlyn?"

"Right here Mom," she said running down the hallway.

I extracted myself from Stacey only to be engulfed by Carmen. "Let's take you home," she whispered to me softly.

I sighed contently. Home never sounded so welcoming.

* * *

School the following day wasn't as torturous as I thought it would be. Yes I didn't want to be there but the thought of continuing the music video after school kept my spirits high. Plus it was an unexpected bonus to see Raine and Tristan tailing the cousins into school that morning.

"So how long are you guys staying in town for?" I asked them during lunch.

Raine took a big bite out of her sandwich and answered, "At least a week I think. Isn't that what your mom said?"

Tristan glared, his celery green eyes flashing at his friend. "Yeah I'm pretty sure she said a week. And if not oh well. It's not like we're doing anything at school anyway."

"So your mom just doesn't care if you go to school or not?" Caity asked.

"Eh we are finally seniors this year," stated Raine. "And the way we see it is that if they really want to fail us and have us repeat our senior year that's on them."

"But I think they would graduate us now just to get us out of their hair," Tristan chuckled.

A table of girls sitting adjacent to us giggled terribly upon hearing Tristan. My amusement didn't go unnoticed by them. They quickly looked away from the god-like creature of Tristan and focused back on their wimpy lunches.

"You better keep it down Trist or I think you will send these girls into a heavenly coma," I whispered across the table.

"I've been getting things like that all day," he said slightly perturbed.

"It happens buddy," Shane said clapping his friend on the back. "You see with you here there's like a new sense of what is the word I'm looking for?"

"Excitement."

"Gorgeousness."

"Lameness."

Caity, Raine, and I all said together. Nate rolled his eyes at us as we succumbed to our laughter fits. "I think what Shane is trying to say is that you are like a faux new guy and all the girls want to drool all over you," he explained acknowledging to another table to our right.

The girls caught staring giggled and looked away which made them laugh even harder. "I guess I know what you mean. Three girls came up to me before first period even started and asked me out. Is this always how it is here?"

"You're just a new sight for sore eyes. I mean all that's left at this school is Nate and I," Shane said cockily.

"And that's not saying much," Raine added in tossing her curly hair over her shoulder.

"So," I said interrupting what would have been a throw down of looks, "what is on the agenda for tonight?"

Something clicked in Nate's head. "Thank you so much for reminding me! I've got to go talk to someone about tonight. See you in math," he said quickly placing a kiss on Caitlyn's forehead before scampering out of the crowded commons.

I watched him go my curiosity peaking even more. "Whose he going to talk too?" I asked the remaining people.

Shane and Raine shrugged their shoulders slowly. An exchange traveled between them. "We've got to head over to … there," Shane said weirdly rising from the table.

"Yeah, over there," Raine added with a laugh.

The pair bounced away laughing about something Raine had said. I turned to Caity and Tristan meeting their equally confused faces. "What the hell?"

Tristan shrugged unknowing. "I have no idea what they are up too."

Caity patted my arm reassuringly. "Just let it go Mitch. I'm sure they are just doing something for the video."

"At school?" I asked new images of Raine and Shane together floating through my mind. I shook my head with disgust; I was becoming a completely jealous and paranoid girlfriend.

"Come on guys, let's head to your next class," Tristan suggested picking his trash off the table and throwing it into the closest trash bin. "What do you have next?"

The three of us exited the noisy lunchroom wandering down the much quieter halls. "Music class," Caity answered swinging her book bag over her shoulder.

"Wonderful," he groaned pushing his golden hair off his forehead.

"Question for you," I stated trying to get my mind off the thought of Shane and Raine, "how come you are the only one out of the entire group who doesn't sing?"

"Because I can't," he answered easily not seeming the slightest bit putdown by it. "I know it sounds crazy but I've just never been able too. Believe me, Raine has tried on many occasions to get me to go to her vocal coach with her but I'm just not into that. I'd rather play sports and film."

"That's cool I can respect that," Caity giggled turning around a corner.

I wasn't watching where I was going and ran head-on into an oncoming person. The impact knocked me back on the floor stretching the healing cut on my stomach painfully.

"Watch where you're walking Torres," a growl emitted from the person above me.

"Back off Tess," Caity said.

Tristan easily picked me up and set me back on my feet. My eyes connected with Tess's for the first time since that day in the recording studio. If Caitlyn hadn't called her Tess I wouldn't have known who was standing in front of me at this moment. Her normally bright blond hair had been dyed a drastic black. Her makeup was so heavy I could almost make out the powder ring around her face. Even her wardrobe had undergone drastic surgery. Her usual perky, bright clothing had been replaced with everything black; black fishnets, black heeled boots, black miniskirt, black tank top, black jacket.

"Is that really you?" I asked without stopping myself.

She scoffed her brown eyes cutting across mine to Tristan. "Where's Shane? Already get bored with him and had to flaunt onto the rebound guy?"

Tristan moved protectively next to me, his body angling toward Tess almost shielding me. "I've got this Tristan," I said pushing him aside. I needed to fight my own fights. "What Tess? What do you want to say to me? I know that you have been running around this school saying horrible things about Shane and I. I think it's about time you man up and finally say them to my face instead of running your mouth behind my back."

Being called out like that didn't please Tess Tyler. Her eyes narrowed into thin slits triggering memories of other unpleasant eyes. I shook my head, focus. "I don't need to say anything to you," she stated briskly. "You are a backstabbing bitch that took my boyfriend away from me. What else is there to say about that?"

"How did I backstab you?" I said incredulously. "We were never friends in the first place. I never even knew you until I started to know Shane."

I had got her on that one. She stumbled for words but only for a second. "It doesn't matter if we were or weren't friends you still stole him from me which makes you a backstabbing bitch that stole my boyfriend. If you never would have broken your stupid little guitar Shane and I would still be happily together."

"Shane was never happy with you," Caity spoke up for the first time.

Tess rounded on her. "Are you her spokesperson now?"

"No I'm her best friend and you must think I'm daft if I'm going to sit here and let you bitch about her without speaking up," she said angrily. "Shane was never happy with you. He was in a really bad place when he started dating you, and somehow, unsurprisingly, you made him an even worse person by being with him."

Tess growled stepping closer to Caitlyn. I pushed myself between the two girls. "Just stop this Tess can't you get over it already?"

Her eyes landed back on me, the anger and hatred blazing. "No I will never get over this. You took my entire life away from me. You took Shane, you took my part in the musical, you took everything important to me, and I am not going to forgive and forget that easily Torres. I plan on getting back everything you took from me too, so watch your back," she giggled madly roughly bumping shoulders with me as she passed.

"Oh and one more thing," she said turning around, "I always get what I want." With one last evil cackle she strode down the hall purposely.

Tristan made to chase after her but I grabbed his arm. "Leave it; it will only make matters worse."

"God what a bitch!" he exclaimed loudly hoping Tess heard him.

"That's not even her worse," Caity said worriedly pulling on me to continue to our next class.

"If you want Mitch I can just move here and make sure she never comes within a hundred foot radius of you anymore," suggested Tristan.

I laughed softly. "Thanks Trist but I think I will be able to handle her. She's just a lot of talk."

He glanced one more behind us. "Whatever you say. I still would love to kick her ass though."

"Come on," I laughed dragging my two friends down the quiet hallway.

* * *

Although I wish I wasn't, I was afraid. Afraid of what Tess had in store for her "revenge", afraid of why Raine and Shane were spending so much time together, afraid that I would suddenly break down in tears the events of yesterday finally catching up with me. My mind was working too hard and too fast for me to concentrate on anything the teacher was saying. All I could see was Tess, Shane, and Raine all together all laughing at me like I was some naïve little child.

I groaned softly pounding my fist to my desk. The girl sitting next to me looked up with confusion. "Sorry," I muttered dropping my head onto the desk with a bang.

The bell rang some five minutes later finally excusing me from this day of school. I wandered into the hall falling into the mix of students pushing to get to their lockers, ready to start their weekend.

"Mitchie!" Shane's voiced boomed over the chattering students.

My heart swooned as he caught up with me. His beautiful eyes were wide and excited. "Get your stuff and come on! We are ready to continue this video!" he said excitedly doing the combination on my lock.

"Wait how do you know my combination and we're doing the video here?" I asked as he threw my book bag at me and grabbed my jacket.

"You know how close I am with the ladies in the office," he said smugly. "And I can't tell you anything. Nate just instructed me to come find you and bring you to the auditorium."

"Why is everything about this video such a big secret?" I asked exasperatedly.

"What's wrong Mo?" he asked softly forgetting for a second that we were in such dire need somewhere else.

"Nothing," I sighed feeling bad for acting all dramatic. "I just, I had a run in with Tess today."

His eyes bugged out at the mention of her name. "What? When? What happened? Are you okay? Did she hurt you?"

"Shane," I laughed holding his flailing arms down, "I'm alright. Caity and Tristan were there with me. We ran into each other – literally – in the hallway. We exchanged some words and continued on."

"Are you sure that's the only thing bothering you?" he asked, his eyes penetrating mine finding something that obviously didn't seem right.

"No," I finally moaned, "I'm going to sound completely paranoid and jealous but I can't help it. Ever since Raine and Tristan got here all you've done is hang out with Raine. You two have been doing a lot of stuff together and I don't know what to think about it."

He silenced my rambling with a body tingling kiss. He pulled away leaving me breathless yet again. "Mo do you really think I'm spending time with her because I want to be with her or something? We are working on stuff for the video nothing more than that."

"I believe you," I sighed. "Sorry for being so paranoid and clingy."

"You are neither of the sort," he smiled placing his arm around my waist. "You are the only girl I want to be with _ever_."

Something shot through me when he said that. I felt a rush of heat collect in my cheeks. My legs wobbled uncomfortably. Good thing he was holding onto my waist.

"Shane, Mitchie come on!" Caity shouted from outside the auditorium doors. "Nate is going to break a gasket if you aren't in here like five minutes ago."

We laughed and raced to Caitlyn. She smiled and entered the auditorium. I was about to follow her in when Shane captured me around the waist and pulled me close to him. Our faces were mere centimeters apart. Every fleck of blue swirled through his brown eyes mesmerizingly. His lips were set in a satisfied grin.

"You have no need to worry okay? I'm not going anywhere," he sighed dipping down to seal the deal with another kiss.

"Okay," I said breathlessly resting my forehead against his.

"I love you Mitchie Torres," he breathed running his hand through my hair.

"I love you too Shane Gray," I smiled happily.

The door opened behind us. "I figured," Caity's voice laughed. "Save the kissing for later!"

I looked into Shane's eyes once more. He looked upset at having been interrupted. "Let's not keep Nate waiting any longer," I laughed following Caity into the auditorium.

Everyone, even Jason, was sitting on the edge of the stage waiting for the three of us. "We're here, we're here!" I proclaimed dramatically running straight up to Nate.

"No wonder you are in the musical, you're so dramatic!" laughed Jason.

I stuck my tongue out at him and punched him on the arm softly. I leaned against the stage, in front of Jason, waiting for Nate to give instructions. "So why are we in here?" I asked.

"I talked to M a little earlier today and she gave us the okay to let us use the stage."

"Awesome! What are we using it for?"

Nate extended his arms out in front of him. "For this!"

I turned to look at the stage. Six microphones were placed equally along the stage. The wheels in my brain started to turn. "Wait, so we are going to do some parts of us singing on a stage? Cool!" I exclaimed climbing onto the stage and running to a microphone. "Hello!" My voice echoed through the vast auditorium.

Nate clamped his hands over his ears. "Yeah, we need to turn them off."

"Mitchie Torres I hope that is not how you plan to sing on opening night," M boomed sauntering down the aisle in an unflattering burgundy robe.

"M!" I squealed jumping off the stage to tackle the drama teacher in a hug.

"Well hello there to you too," she laughed heartily. "We missed you yesterday. We missed all of you yesterday. I was tempted to call off rehearsal seeing as half of my cast was gone."

"Sorry I took them all with me," I laughed. "What are you doing here?"

"Nate was explaining to me this music video you were creating, and I thought I might just have to watch how it goes. Plus he asked me to help him out some with the sound. He can't be perfect in everything," she whispered to me.

"I heard that!" he called from his place on the stage. "M come meet our friends and my cousin."

"These are our friends from Iowa Tristan and Raine," Shane said. "They are visiting us for a little while."

"Wonderful to meet you," M said shaking both their hands.

"And this is our cousin Jason," Nate said.

M smiled. "I've seen him before. You only graduated a year or so ago didn't you?"

"Yes ma'am," Jason nodded taking her hand.

"Well," she proclaimed clapping her hands together, "what will you like me to do Mr. Black?"

"If you would go with Tristan and work the camera, sound, lighting, and all that jazz, that would be really helpful."

"I can help too," Caity piped up. "I have some ideas."

Tristan, Caity, and M walked back up the aisle disappearing up the hidden stairs that led to the box that hung out over the auditorium. "Alright while they figure that out let's discuss how we wanna do the stage part," Nate said.

"Do you have the music with you?" I asked.

He withdrew a CD from his bag.

"Awesome, our song is actually on a CD," I said turning the disc in my hands.

Shane rolled his eyes at me playfully. "That's what happens when you get really good at what you do. You get music on a CD!"

"Children!" Raine intervened. "Let's listen to it and see if we get inspiration."

I wandered over to the table placing the disc in the CD player. I pressed play and waited for the music to fill the room. The moment our song came on goose bumps raised on my arms. Hearing the music we created play on an actual source was an indescribable feeling. The careful plucking of the guitar echoed throughout the auditorium. I pressed pause.

"I have it!" I exclaimed rushing back to them. "Do you have a guitar here?"

Nate picked one up off the rack behind Shane. "What are you thinking?"

"Sit here," I instructed patting the very center of the stage. "Raine sit right here." I patted the space a little to the right of Nate. "So how about this, the video starts with the camera coming in on you playing the first notes of the song? And then Raine can chime in when she starts to sing. Shane play the CD so we can see how it would be."

Being the good boyfriend he was he pressed play again. Nate played along with the recording while Raine sat next to him, bopping her head slowly and watching him play. Raine joined in as her voice sprang from the speakers. I got tingly sensations from how awesome it looked.

"Mitchie!" M's voice boomed from the room above. "I think we should have a single spotlight on them."

"Try it!" I yelled back to her.

A loud click echoed through the auditorium. The entire room went black save for the one spotlight shining on Nate and Raine. "Perfect!" M gushed. I agreed with her.

After my little stint as director Nate really got into it asking me for advice and what he thought of every scene and clip. We finally filmed the opening part with him and Raine. Tristan panned across some guitars resting in a corner on the stage along with a white piano and a drum set. Then he landed on Nate playing the guitar with Raine enjoying the music next to him. I had to hand it to myself. This opening was beyond amazing.

Nate took charge after the opening getting everything set up and everyone in their right places. We made Caity come down from the sound room so we could shoot some footage of all of us on the microphones.

"Alright Mitchie, Shane this part is yours," he said holding out his hands and pretending to look through them like a camera. "When Mitchie says just smile I want you to echo her. Give it a try."

Nate played the music again so we could get a feel for the rhythm. I gripped the mic steadily. "Just smile."

"Just smile," Shane sang angling his mic at me.

I faced him. "And the world."

"And the world," he echoed perfectly.

"Will smile along with you," we sang together.

"That small act of love," he sang. I raised one hand off the mic and tenderly stroked the contours of his cheek bone and jaw, "that's meant for one."

"Will become two," I belted with him.

Nate stopped the music and clapped. "Excellent! You are a natural up there Mitch! I loved that. Let's film it and keep moving."

Shane gave me a small smile before turning his mic back to the front. A surge of excitement shot through me. Adrenaline pumped through my veins. This must be how it felt to be on stage night after night performing in front of millions. I looked out into the empty auditorium imaging a full house all cheering wildly for my music. I smiled; that was something I could get used too.

* * *

**music video coming next chapter! hope you liked it. :) thanks for reading everyone!**


	31. I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

**finally another chapter! this one is super loooong. i almost didnt put the music video in this one because i thought it would be too long. but i knew you guys would probably come hunt me down and kill me yourselves if you didnt get this damn music video now! im sorry its been so long but ive been busy! i really have! and now that ive finally got the music video done im a little lost at where to head next! any suggestions? :) im not going to chat your ear to death. ive only spent the greater part of my night writing this when i should be in bed since i have an 8am class tomorrow. but i care way more about finally updating this story than college!**

**disclaimer: i dont own any of the songs used in this chapter. they are all credited to their creators. looove the songs tho!**

**FINALLY ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-One:**** I Don't Want To Miss A Thing**

_**I don't wanna close my eyes,**_

_**I don't wanna fall asleep,**_

_**Cause I'd miss you babe,**_

_**And I don't wanna miss a thing,**_

_**Cause even when I dream of you,**_

_**The sweetest dream would never do,**_

_**I'd still miss you babe,**_

_**And I don't wanna miss a thing.**_

**I Don't Want To Miss A Thing: Aerosmith**

I was beyond anxious.

It was Saturday evening, and I was about ready to jump out of my skin from all my excitement and anxiousness. We had spent the greater part of our day finishing up some shots and adding some random clips of us doing nothing to our collection of film. By now I swear we had enough film to make a short movie. Come to think of it I wouldn't mind if we actually created a film, that would mean more time doing absolutely nothing with my friends – best times of my life.

I've had more fun in the past couple days than I've had in a really long time. I was having so much fun that I didn't want it to end, but I was more than ready to see the final production. Nate had kicked us all out after our last scene saying he and Tristan needed to work in private to be able to have it done by tomorrow night.

So instead of driving ourselves crazy waiting for the masterpiece to be done, we decided we might as well have some fun while we wait.

"I cannot believe you are making us do this," I told Raine as she pushed Caity and I through the large green door.

A huge burst of laughter and applause met our ears as we crossed the threshold. Raine grinned giddily dragging the two of us to a booth near the back of the teeming pub. The atmosphere was loud and stuffy but I found it to be slightly calming and exhilarating at the same time.

"Now explain again why we are here?" Caitlyn asked as an excited middle-aged woman bounded over to us asking for our drink orders.

Raine ordered a pitcher of Shirley Temples and turned back to us. "Tonight is open mic night!"

My eyes must have looked like they were about to pop out of my head because Raine said, "Oh Mitch don't freak out now. Just think, this is only a small portion of the people who are actually going to be there opening night."

"Why would you bring us here to do this?" I asked perturbed, my eyes jumping to the singer on stage at the moment. She was barely clothed, holding a bottle of beer, and grasping the mic stand to keep her standing upright. She could not sing to save her life but the crowd seemed to love her anyway.

"You need to feel what it's like to perform in front of a crowd."

"I did that when we were in Aruba," I retorted.

Raine rolled her bright eyes. "That doesn't count. Those people were a bunch of rich, snobby old people who had to clap nicely afterwards just to keep their images in check. The people here have no clue who you are and don't care. All you must do is entertain them and they will be satisfied."

"I'm not prepared to sing anything tonight," I cracked watching the girl stumble off the stage and land on a table to the amusement of the crowd.

"Oh you will be," she said with a twinkle. "Anyway, I'm not going to make you go up there first. I will ease you into it. That's why I will go first."

Before Caity and I had a chance to react Raine was out of her seat and gracefully pushing her way through the throng of people. Her glittery silver dress attracted the attention of everyone as she centered herself on the stage. She grabbed a guitar behind her and draped it across her shoulders.

"Hey ya'll!" she drawled to the crowd.

"Hey gorgeous!"

"Hi there sweet thing!"

Raine laughed off the comments being thrown at her easily. "I thought I would liven this place up with some real music!" she shouted into the mic.

The pub went wild with excitement. Boys and men alike scooted their chairs toward the stage to get a better view of the curly bombshell blond that was about to rock their world. The women looked a bit miffed at being pushed aside so easily.

"I'm going to play an original piece of mine! Enjoy!"

She stepped back from the mic for a second to play with the guitar and make sure it was in tune. She returned to the mic and sang the opening part to her song with as much attitude as she could muster.

"You're on the phone with your girlfriend. She's upset. She's going off about something that you said. 'Cuz she doesn't get your humor like I do," she sang bringing out the actress in her.

I laughed as she danced around the stage. Her long hair whipped around her head as she did a rocker move with the guitar.

"I'm in the room it's a typical Tuesday night. I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like. And she'll never know your story like I do," she murmured to the crowd.

The pub was already hooting and hollering as she finished her first verse. Caity and I bopped our heads along to the upbeat tune loving the music already.

"Why does she have to be so amazing?" I shout-whispered to my best friend.

Caity just shrugged, her whole body was moving along to the music now.

"But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts. She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers. Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find what you're looking for has been here the whole time. If you could see that I'm the one who understands you. Been here all along so why can't you see, you. You belong with me. You belong with me."

Caity's eyes met mine, her expression mirroring me. "Do you think?"

"I'm not exactly sure," I said thoughtfully returning my attention to the blond jumping around the stage.

"YOU BELONG WITH ME!" a red-faced man shouted from the front row.

"Oh lord," I sighed letting my head fall against my hand. "I am not going to be able to go out there in front of drunk men and sing a song."

"Me either," mumbled Caity looking scared. "I don't even sing that much. I don't know what Raine is trying to do here."

"Humiliate us maybe?"

Caity shook her head uncertainly falling back into the trance of Raine's singing.

"Walkin' the streets with you and your worn-out jeans. I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be. Laughing on a park bench thinking to myself hey isn't this easy. And you've got a smile that can light up this whole town. I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down. You say you're fine I know you better than that. Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that."

"She wears high heels. I wear sneakers. She's cheer captain, and I'm on the bleachers. Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time. If you could see that I'm the one who understands you. Been here all along so why can't you see, you belong with me. Standing by and waiting at your backdoor. All this time how could you not know baby… You belong with me. You belong with me."

"She has got to be talking about him," I stated as Raine rocked out on her guitar for an interlude to the next portion of her song.

"Who else would she have wrote this about?" Caity said rhetorically, her eyes trained on our friend commanding the attention of the pub amazingly.

"Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night. I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry. And I know your favorite songs. And you tell me about your dreams. Think I know where you belong. Think I know it's with me…" Raine cooed softly into the mic. She put one hand on the mic, gripping it tightly.

"Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you," she sang quietly lifting her other hand off her guitar and clapping it over her head. The crowd instantly followed suit clapping along as she sang this next part without her guitar. "Been here all along so why can't you see. You belong with me." The crowd went wild as she ran her hands back along the guitar with gusto. "Standing by and waiting at your back door. All this time how could you not know. Baby, you belong with me. You belong with me. Oh, you belong with me. Have you ever thought just maybe, you belong with me."

"You belong with me," she whispered to the exuberated crowd one more time before shouting a big thank you and hopping off the stage.

A standing ovation followed her quick path back to our table. It took a good five minutes for the place to quiet down to even hear the next person walk on stage and attempt to sing.

"I would not want to be that person," stated Caity bluntly. The man tried and failed at entertaining the pumped audience and was practically booed off the stage.

"See that's what I'm afraid of," I admitted watching the terrified guy tremble under the pressure and fall off the stage as he exited.

"Oh you are going to be amazing!" Raine yelled still pumped from her song.

"How can I even attempt to follow after you? That was beyond amazing! Was that a new song?"

"Yeah I wrote it the other day, I was feeling inspired."

"By whom might we ask?" Caity asked curiously leaning closer to me so we could smile knowingly at Raine together.

"What are you two thinking?" she wondered with a laugh.

"Oh come on, the lyrics explain it all. 'Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you? Been here all along so why can't you see? You belong with me?' Seriously Raine, we are your friends. We are not as blind as you may think we are."

Her face quickly cracked under the realization of being caught. "Okay but you guys cannot say one word about this to him or the boys. I will never hear the end of it from any of them," she sighed dramatically taking a swig of her Shirley Temple.

"Eep! I always knew you liked him," Caity squealed excitedly.

"How come you won't tell him how you feel?" I asked rationally.

She shrugged. "Our friendship is too important to me to ruin it over some trivial thing of me having feelings for him."

"Liking your best friend is not something trivial. Yes of course there is potential of failure, but can you imagine what it would be like if it didn't fail?" I said philosophically.

Raine stared at me quizzically. "I just don't know guys. I've almost been friends with him for too long, yah know."

"Well maybe you should sing him that song and then get his take on the situation," Caity said.

"We will see," she smiled thoughtfully. "But enough about me, it's Mitchie's turn to rock the stage!"

Raine was pulling me from the booth before I had a chance to protest. I reached back to try and grab for Caity but Raine was being way too forceful. "You will thank me for this later," she laughed dragging me straight on to the stage.

The crowd realized who was on stage again and grew extremely excited. "ENCORE!" Someone yelled from the back.

Raine shook her head laughing. "I won't be singing anymore tonight. This is my best friend, and she is going to sing you a song of hers. She's really amazing so be nice!" With that Raine jumped off the stage and joined a much panicked stricken Caity in the back.

I turned towards the anxious pub goers. They were moving back and forth asking each other if I was going to speak or not. I gulped back my fright and turned to search for a guitar. Off to the side I noticed a familiar battered looking guitar case. I shook my head. Raine could pull the most impossible acts yet she knew just what to bring to make me feel at home.

Once I had Carley out of her case and strapped around my shoulder I returned to the mic. I grabbed at it and brought it toward my mouth. "H-hi everyone," I stuttered accidentally looking straight into the spotlight. I blinked back tears as I tried to regain my focus. "This song isn't going to be as upbeat as my friends, but hopefully you will like it just the same."

I took a moment to catch my breath and focus my mind on the song that's been running through my mind so much lately. I've written a lot of songs lately, but this one was the most personal out of the bunch. I'd yet to even tell anyone about it that's how fresh it was. Well here goes nothing… I closed my eyes with one last deep breath.

"Before I fall," I spoke and then began plucking at the strings on Carley, "too fast. Kiss me quick but make it last. So I can see how badly this will hurt me when you say goodbye. Keep it sweet. Keep it slow. Let the future pass and don't let go. But tonight I could fall too soon under this beautiful moonlight."

I kept my eyes closed and crooned to the image of a dark headed boy circulating my thoughts. "But you're so hypnotizing. You've got me laughing while I sing. You've got me smiling in my sleep. And I can see this unraveling. Your love is where I'm falling. But please don't catch me."

I finally opened my eyes to see a room of captivated eyes all hanging on the breath of my next note. Power and adrenaline hummed in my body like it never had before. Nothing compared to this. These people actually liked what they were hearing and wanted more. I braved up and kept my eyes open darting to the back of the room where I expected Caity and Raine to be seated – no such luck. I didn't let that bother me. I continued on with my song.

"See this heart won't settle down. Like a child running scared from a clown. I'm terrified of what you do. My stomach screams just when I look at you. Run far away so I can breathe. Even though you're far from suffocating me. I can't set my hopes too high 'cause every hello ends with a goodbye."

My strumming grew harder, more pronounced as did my voice. "But you're so hypnotizing. You've got me laughing while I sing. You've got me smiling in my sleep. And I can see this unraveling. You're love is where I'm falling. But please don't catch me."

"So now you see why I'm scared. I can't open up my heart without a care. But here I go, it's what I feel. And for the first time in my life I know it's real," I said plucking the strings with more staccato preparing for the big finish. "But you're so hypnotizing. You've got me laughing while I sing. You've got me smiling in my sleep."

A burst of drums awoke from behind me. I turned around breaking off my song startled to see Nate sitting behind me banging away at the drums like he'd been there the whole time. He smiled coolly nodding at me to continue. My eyes caught sight of all my friends lurking on the outskirts of the stage. There he was, standing between Raine and Caity, his eyes pouring over me. I couldn't help but laugh.

I returned my focus to the confused crowd. Nate picked up the beat again and I strummed in on Carley with more confidence than I'd had all night. "And I can see this unraveling. You're love is where I'm falling. So please don't catch me. If this is love please don't break me. I'm giving up, so just catch me," I breathed, my eyes slipping to his again.

That smile I'd grown to love immensely fell over his gorgeous face, and I couldn't help but return the favor. I was unaware of how excited the pub was until Raine pointed to them. They were all on their feet screaming for more. My heart hammered against my chest with pride. My veins pumped with excitement and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

"Thank you!" I shouted into the mic over the loud cheers of the audience. "You're all amazing!"

With one more wave I backed off the stage and ran into the waiting arms of Shane. I didn't have a chance to ask him what he was doing here. His gentle mouth was on mine, and my question was lost to the world of the forgotten.

"New song?" he asked breaking apart for just a split second.

"I've been working on it for a little while now," I answered between kisses.

"How come you never told me?"

"I hadn't told anyone about this song," I stated as he pulled away smiling.

"I think that's the best one you've written yet."

"Definitely Mitch," Nate said joining us, "that was amazing!"

I squealed and leapt from Shane's arms to his. "How did you know what to play? How did you know we were here? How come you are here? I thought you were working with Tristan?"

"Oh we were, we've been done for awhile now," laughed Nate.

"Raine texted us to say she was getting you to sing in some pub, and we couldn't miss the opportunity to watch you crash and burn," Jason said coming out from behind the shadows of his cousins.

I wrapped my arms around him tightly. "So this was all a setup?" I asked a guilty looking Raine.

"Not exactly," she said slowly. "I knew you would definitely say no if they were all here. So I decided I would just have them conveniently come later. You had to get out there and experience how it really felt to be on stage, and aren't you happy now that you've done it?"

I nodded giddily. "It's the best rush ever," I breathed.

"So what do I get?" she asked rocking on heels.

"Thank you Raine," I said childishly taking the blond girl in my arms.

"So what do you say we all give this pub a little show?" suggested Shane heading for the mic.

"We're all going to sing?" I asked dumbly.

"Why not?" Nate shrugged returning to his place behind the drums.

"Do they even have enough microphones for all of us?"

"Oh not all of us are singing my dear," Raine said pushing me towards Shane.

I stumbled into Shane ungracefully earning the snickers of a few audience members. "What song are we going to sing?" I hissed at him. "We haven't written any songs together."

"Singing in a pub doesn't require having written the songs ourselves," he smiled sneakily. "Just listen to me. You will know what it is."

"You're not even going to tell me," I hissed but he ignored and wandered back to Nate who was seated at the drums and Jason who now donned a guitar.

"But make it faster," I heard him tell his band mates.

"What the hell are we singing?"

He returned to the mic, the ever present hypnotizing smile on his face. I felt my knees weaken and my mouth open goofily just at the sight of it. I quickly shook myself out of the stupor reminding myself that I was in public. I faced the crowd again and felt my nervousness swell back in me.

"Just relax Mo," he breathed easily touching the tip of my nose gently. He grinned once more and faced the crowd. "Hello pubbies! I know you just heard this beautiful girl sing right here, but I thought I would make her sing again. Everyone okay with that?"

They all roared their approval. My nerves subsided momentarily. Someone tapped me and shoved a microphone in my face.

"Thanks," I muttered to the girl darting off the stage.

"Ready?" Shane asked smiling, his blue/brown eyes glittering in the spotlight.

I nodded gulping back another wad of thick saliva. Shane pointed to Jason. Instantly the acoustic bellow of his guitar filled the whispered pub. Shane smiled to himself obviously enjoying the tempo Jason was currently emitting. He brought the mic to his mouth, poised to sing.

"I'm sure all of you are going to know this one. We've decided to put our own twist on it," he told the eager faces before gently opening the song. "I can show you the world. Shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?" His eyes bore into mine as he sang the last part.

I felt my heart leap against my chest practically dragging me towards him. He noticed this expression and smiled even wider. Then I listened to the music and his voice and laughed. He was seriously singing Aladdin. Shane Gray was singing A Whole New World, for karaoke, in a pub! There's always a first for everything, I guess.

"I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder. Over sideways and under on a magic carpet ride. A whole new world. A new fantastic point of view. No one to tell us no or where to go. Or say we're only dreaming."

"A whole new world," I chimed in easily. I liked this new upbeat version of this song. It always seemed so slow and dull to me, but with Shane singing it with so much passion and energy I couldn't help but love the song. "A dazzling place I never knew. But when I'm way up here it's crystal clear. That now I'm in a whole new world with you." I reached out to touch his cheek adoringly loving the feel of his flawless skin under my finger tips.

"Now I'm in a whole new world with you," he breathed mesmerizingly, eyes closing slightly. The crowd absolutely loved this.

"Unbelievable sights," I belted out using my entire body to push out the notes, "indescribable feelings. Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling through an endless diamond sky. A whole new world!"

"Don't you dare close your eyes," he murmured.

"A hundred thousand things to see."

"Hold your breath – it gets better," he spoke animatedly.

I laughed out loud. "I'm like a shooting star. I've come so far. I can't go back to where I used to be," I managed to sing despite my hysterically shaking body.

He kept on going like nothing went amiss – damn him and his acting. "A whole new world."

"Every turn a surprise," I spoke like he had.

He smiled breaking his calm demeanor. "With new horizons to pursue."

"Every moment red-letter," I sang sarcastically.

Our voices melded together through our laughing. "I'll chase them anywhere. There's time to spare. Let me share this whole new world with you." We held the last note gently decreasing the dynamic.

"A whole new world," he sang capturing my hand in his.

"A whole new world," I mimicked his slowing voice.

"That's where we'll be."

"That's where we'll be." He raised our laced hands so that they rested on my rapidly beating heart.

"A thrilling chase."

"A wondrous place."

"For you and me," we sang softly together, our foreheads meeting ever so gently.

As the music ended the pub was on their feet again hollering and screaming. I never imagined this crowd would appreciate Disney music so much.

I cracked another smile as Shane knocked heads with me playfully. He twisted our bodies so we were able to give the cheering people a bow.

"Thank you!" we shouted at them and scurried off the stage.

"Okay I think I've had enough excitement for one night," I told my friends as soon as we were behind the curtains.

Caity screamed excitedly and tackled me. "You guys were amazing! I never thought that song could sound so good!"

"Thanks Cait," I said struggling to breathe.

She dislodged herself from me and tackled Shane next. I looked at Raine curiously wondering what was going on with her. She shrugged surreptitiously, her bright eyes giving her lie away.

"What did you do?" I asked immediately.

"Nothing that won't hurt her," she smiled smugly. "She's just going to feel very _alive_ for a couple hours."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Oh well, she deserves to have some fun."

"We all do," Raine stated. "That's why I made you do this tonight. I knew it would help you keep your mind off things. Plus I knew you would kick ass and I just wanted to be the first to witness your first ever real performance."

"Thanks," I smiled hugging my tall friend. "I really had a great time tonight. I never knew I would like performing this much."

"You were born for it. So when you have a headlining tour will you allow me to be your opening act?"

I laughed loudly. "Yeah right, I'm going to be the one opening for you. Do you remember how much the crowd loved you?"

"Yeah you're right," she said jokingly.

She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and sighed contentedly. "This has been a successful night if I may be obliged to say so."

"Very successful," I agreed my eyes falling on Shane.

He was talking elatedly with Nate, Jason, Tristan, and Caity. His eyes sparkled livelily, playing up his blue swirls more than usual. He caught me staring at him out of the corner of his eyes. His welcoming lips twitched up at the corner. My breath hitched in my throat as usual.

He was in front of me quicker than I could blink. "Wasn't so bad singing without knowing the song first was it?" he questioned a playful glint dancing in his eyes.

I shook my head as I rolled my eyes. "No, it wasn't that bad," I said exasperatedly. "But it makes me realize something."

"What?" he wondered curiously snaking his arms around my waist.

"We need to write some songs together."

"Oh really?" he laughed heartily.

"Yes," I said nodding. "Everyone says we sing so well together, so maybe we should try and write something that would be really personal for us."

"I'm liking this idea," he grinned.

"Yeah?"

"Definitely, should I set up a writing session with my lovely mates Nate and Jason?"

I nodded eagerly. "I'd love their input."

"It's set then," he said, "Mitchie Torres we are going to write a song."

* * *

"You should have seen her Stacey," Raine bragged the next evening as Nate and Tristan were preparing to unveil our video. "She was incredible. The song, I don't know where she even got it – well yes I do – but seriously, it was so good. The lyrics were so powerful. The music was overwhelmingly perfect. I just can't tell you how great it was."

"Seems like I'm going to have to hear this song to understand then," Stacey smiled, her eyes widening at me.

I rolled my own feeling as if Raine was getting a little bigheaded for me. "Don't worry; I got it all on tape!"

I spit out the chocolate milk in my mouth. "You what?"

"I got it on tape," she said nonchalantly.

"Oh no, no, no there. No one is going to watch it."

"Too late," Raine said awkwardly. "I've already posted it on the internet. The hits for how many people like it are insane."

I dropped my head into my hand with a smack.

"People love it Mitch! There's nothing to be freaked about."

"Except you put a video of me singing on the internet without telling me."

"Yeah," she dragged out, "about that. I'm really sorry, but I really wanted to hear what other people had to say. And believe me, everything is extremely positive."

"Ladies and gentleman!" Nate called entering the room. "We are ready to début our masterpiece! To the screening room!"

"To the screening room!" Everyone repeated him.

Excited murmurs traveled through the crowded house as everyone moved from the kitchen to the screening room down the hallway.

"Hey!" Shane said coming up from behind me and tickling my sides.

"Hey," I squirmed turning to face him. "Where have you been?"

"Putting the finishing touches on the video."

"I thought it was done," I wondered as we fell into the slow moving line down the hall.

"Yeah it was," he said offhandedly.

I ignored it not wanting to worry about anything tonight. "I'm so excited to watch this! It's going to be so good!"

"You're going to love it," he said holding the door open for me.

"Why thank you kind sir," I said with a curtsy.

"The pleasure is all mine beautiful lady," he bowed.

"Come on," I laughed pulling on him to follow me to the front where all our friends were sitting.

The parents and most of the children were given the actual seats while the eight of us were to sit on the floor in the very front – best seats in the house apparently.

A good ten minutes later Nate stood at the front of the room calling everyone to order again. "I think everyone is here."

"You forgot one person!" a voice said coming through the door.

I whipped around and gasped. "STELLA!" I jumped up from the floor and tackled the blond girl. She clung onto me tightly. "What are you doing here?"

"Well I felt so bad about missing the funeral the other day so Jason called me and told me you guys were making some music video thing. He suggested I stop back after classes were done this week to come watch it."

I hugged her again. "I'm so glad you're here! I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you too," she smiled. "How are you doing?"

"I'm better than I thought I would be," I told her truthfully guiding her to the front of the room. I fell back down next to Shane taking Stella with me.

"Now I think we have everyone here," smiled Nate clapping his hands together again. "The last couple days we all have been working tirelessly at making this music video. And let me just tell you that I've never seen anything this good. Tristan knows how to work a computer." Tristan blushed appreciatively from his spot next to Raine.

"I just want to say something real quick. Mitchie," Nate said his eyes landing on me, "you have been such a great addition to this family that I can't even tell you how happy I am that I get to see you almost every day. You light up the room even when you aren't in the best mood yourself. A smile never seems to far from your face. And I just want to let you know that we've done this all for you. We know that it's going to be tough for awhile, but we are going to try our hardest – all of us – to keep you going even when you don't want to. I hope you remember the times like these and remember not to be sad. We will always be here for you no matter what. We love you."

Tears fell from my eyes unexpectedly. Shane rubbed my back soothingly, but I jumped up, yet again, and squeezed my arms around Nate.

"Thank you so much," I whispered through my tears. "You guys are the best friends ever."

"With no further ado, here is our music video – Send It On," Nate said as I climbed back down to the waiting arms of Shane.

I settled into his comforting hold and focused my eyes on the screen.

"You okay?" he whispered in my ear.

I nodded. "I'm perfect."

The lights dimmed overhead creating excited squeals to ripple through the room. A blue light filled the screen. The screen quickly transitioned into the opening scene, our music swelling in the background – the camera panning across various musical instruments. In the left hand corner the name of our song along with all our names appeared; it was like a real music video. The camera finally zoomed in on Nate and Raine sitting on the stage with Nate playing along to the music. Raine's shoulders rolled back and opened her mouth. Her voice filled the room. Goosebumps instantly prickled along my arms and legs. This was so surreal.

The first verse ended and the scene jumped to a shaky camera shot. It took me a moment to focus on the screen but as soon as I saw what it was my hand clamped to my mouth. I was no older than six years old. My mother and I were swinging on the swings at the old park. The scene cut to us chasing each other through the green hills of the park.

Another camera cut to a video of a Christmas long ago. Mom handed me a candle. I remember her telling me to be very careful. She had wanted me to light the last candle on the advent wreath. The camera zoomed in on my young face holding the candle closer to my face than Mom ever would have liked. "Shine a light and send it on," our voices chorused as the scene changed again to Shane and I on the stage.

I watched our exchange as we had practiced numerous times that day. The Clan all squealed – mainly the girls and the moms' – as they watched me tenderly trace the contours of Shane's jaw. I bowed my head with embarrassment.

"Watch," Shane breathed quietly nudging me.

I lifted my head and saw the camera pan out to get us all on the stage singing in our own unique way. The scenes changed quickly from Caity, Raine, and I running around on stage to Nate, Jason, and Shane acting ridiculously adorable. Tristan had played with the lighting to make our bodies look like we were in the shadows. As Shane and I sang, "So I'm starting now, there's not a moment to waste." He panned out on all of us holding hands together. It gave me chills it was that amazing.

The camera quickly focused back in on Caity. "A words, just a word till you mean what you say."

And then Jason. "And love, isn't love."

The camera panned across each one of us pausing on Raine as she belted out her part. The scene changed to various clips of my own home videos. I felt the tears welling behind my eyes again. The scene changed again to the snowball fights. Tristan panned across us slowing down our motions. Finally Tristan popped into the clips as he playfully tackled Raine into a snow rift. The camera landed on Shane and I grinning goofily at each other. He leaned down and kissed me full on just as I remembered from that day. My lips tingled from the memory.

The scenes jumped from us doing stupid jumps off the stage to us running through the park falling over each other from laughing so hard. I tossed those stupid flowers in the air that Nate insisted on doing, but I had to admit it looked perfect with the music.

The song was ending slowly. My voice rang out from the speakers as the camera panned along us all huddled together in the snow. Our faces smiling and dripping with snow. We all looked so peacefully happy and content. My arms were draped around Shane and Caity as the camera did one last zoom out of us. The music ended and black filled the screen.

White letters flashed onto the dark backdrop:

_In memory of Juanita Leigh Torres_

_Forever in our hearts_

My tears fell without stopping now. The lights slowly dimmed back on amid the boisterous applause from all our families. Shane enveloped me into his arms running his hands through my hair.

"Did you like it?"

I sobbed loudly. "That was amazing. How did you guys get those home videos of Mom and me?"

He smiled knowingly. "That was mine and Raine's job. We were so sneaky you never had any idea what we were doing."

I smiled feeling stupid for my accusations of them wanting to be together. I felt ridiculous now. "I can't tell you how much this means to me. I love you Shane Gray."

"I love you too, Mitchie Torres. I always will."

* * *

**sorry the endings a little rushed but i neeed to go to bed like ten minutes ago. i hope you all liked it enough. hahah i wish i could actually make the music video instead of writing it out. but hey, you can use your imagination at how it went. :) thanks so much for reading! i love you all to pieces!**


	32. Decode

**sorry i am the worst author ever and i take forever to update. i couldnt figure out the angle i wanted to go with this next chapter. and im still not sure i like where i took it but just to keep from all my readers leaving, i thought i would post it and see how you liked it anyway. someone asked for some more drama, and believe me i already had some planned. there will be plenty of it coming. mitchies life cant be all fruity and perfect all the time.**

**so hopefully this doesnt suck as bad as i feel it does. and thanks to you all who are still reading my story. you seriously amaze me and i cant seem to thank you enough. by the way let me mention over 600. seriously guys. seriously thats insane. and i .. i cant even speak im speechless. thank you so much for making this story what it is. as long as you keep loving it there will be more chapters to come.**

**i do not own elf or paramore. sadly i wish i did.**

**enjoy the shoooow. :)**

**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Two:**** Decode**

_**The truth is hiding in your eyes**_

_**And it's hanging on your tongue**_

_**Just boiling in my blood,**_

_**But you think that I can't see**_

_**What kind of man that you are**_

_**If you're a man at all**_

_**Well, I will figure this one out on my own**_

**Decode: Paramore**

_I was running._

_My feet were carrying me at speeds unknown to me down the deserted hallways of the school. My breathing was heavy and erratic. I glanced behind me checking to see if there was anyone hot on pursuit. Nothing moved behind me._

_I was being chased, I just knew. I could feel it in my body and in my heart. Haphazardly I sprinted down the hallway tripping over my feet only once. I caught myself on the wall scrapping my hand only slightly before I continued my hurried pace down the darkened halls. I stopped in the middle of a four way intersection wondering which way would lead me best to an escape._

_Something stirred behind me and I quickly chose a hallway. The loud footsteps were closing in faster now. My breath hitched as I held back the scream and tears that vied for exit. Why did this always happen to me?_

_Without a second thought I raced through an open classroom, shut the door, and barricaded myself in my shoving a desk in front of the door. Deciding that was good enough for me I raced to the back of the room and dove under the teacher's desk. I allowed myself a couple moments to act human and freak out. Tears dripped down my cheeks, the salty flavor slipping in through my opened mouth. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my head on my bent knees._

_A loud bang sounded in the distance of the school. I gasped silently placing my hand over my mouth to keep my scared breathing quiet. I squeezed my eyes praying, hoping._

_The footsteps slowed by my hiding spot pausing slightly to walk around the perimeter, searching. I didn't know how long I went without breathing, but as soon as the footsteps continued their search down the hallway I dropped my hand from my mouth. Even after the intruder had left this area I waited a good ten to fifteen minutes just to be sure he wouldn't decide to walk back this way._

_Quietly and shakily I rose from underneath the desk squinting through the semi-darkness to make sure I didn't pick now to be klutzy and trip over a desk. The desk barricading the door pushed aside nicely not making any sound. I opened the door with a soft click and poked my head out to check both ends of the hallway before moving my whole body out. The coast was thankfully clear, so I took off as fast as my shaky body would allow me to in the direction of the exit. The glow of the red exit sign loomed in the distance. My heart jumped happily as I pushed my tired body to move even faster._

_Out of nowhere someone tackled me into a set of lockers. My body slammed up against the metal sickeningly. I felt my elbow crush painfully from the impact. The attacker laughed menacingly having finally found me._

"_Thought you could escape me didn't you," he said amusedly._

_I groaned under his weight not daring to look him in the face. He moved against me awkwardly and I gasped for breath._

"_Look at me," he demanded._

_Unwillingly my eyes glanced up at the clean shaven, dark brown eyed man. His usual peaceful face looked twisted and inhumane. If I didn't already know him I wouldn't have been able to tell who he was through the fury and rage in his face. A tattoo behind his right ear caught my eye; I'd never noticed it before. Before I could make a connection of the symbol he turned his head._

"_That's better," he smiled tracing my jaw with his finger. "Such a pretty little thing you are, I never knew Shane to have such good taste in the ladies."_

"_Do not bring Shane into this," I growled, my hatred skyrocketing for this man._

"_A touchy subject?" he laughed easily ducking his head down to bite at my neck. I cringed recoiling from his disgusting touch. "What, don't like to be touched?"_

"_I've been mauled by too many assholes in my day," I muttered taking my chance to knee him in the groin._

"_That was a mistake," he growled turning his livid eyes on me._

_I screamed._

"Mitchie," the teacher, Ms. Champlain called out, the rest of the class twisted in their seats to giggle. "Mitchie?" she asked again, coming to my desk to make sure I was okay.

I jumped up from my desk, drool hanging from my mouth and my forehead dripping in cold sweat. "Oh sorry, I'm fine, I'm fine," I said shakily attempting to focus my eyes on her but all I could see was the demeaning dark brown of the bald man's eyes.

She shook her head worriedly bending down to inspect me. "Are you sure? Do you need to go to the nurse? You don't look so good." she asked quietly.

"I'll be fine; we only have a couple minutes left anyway."

"Alright," she said unconvinced, moving back to the front of the room. "Maybe try and get some more sleep so you aren't dozing off in my class."

Laughter spewed from my classmates juvenile mouths. I scoffed at them gripping my pencil tightly. I set it down and tried to take a couple deep breaths to calm my racing mind. I'd never had that nightmare before, and for some reason it felt much more real than any nightmare I'd had before.

The bell chimed overhead signaling the end to this never ending day. Every one jumped out of their chairs ready to start the real beginning to their day, it was Friday after all.

"Mitchie, could I talk to you for a second?" Ms. Champlain asked erasing the board.

I nodded placing my notebook in my bag. I wandered over to her desk fearing the worst of the situation. Could she give me detention for falling asleep? Yes, she definitely could give me dentition, not to mention my screaming episode. She was sure to give me some type of punishment. She doesn't seem like that ill-hearted of a person to do that though.

She finished up the last problem, clapped her hands together, and took a seat behind her messy desk. She pushed aside a couple papers and smiled up at me kindly.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

I inwardly groaned. I was beginning to get sick of the pity routine from the teachers. Plenty of them still "check-up" on me periodically to make sure I still "living" or whatever they think it is that happens after you lose a parent.

"I'm doing fine," I answered brightly.

She didn't buy it; she was obviously too smart for her own good. "Mitchie," she sighed, "I know you've been through a terrible ordeal and you may not want to talk about it with me, but I think you should talk to someone."

"I've talked to plenty of people," I said through gritted teeth.

"You don't seem like the same person you were last week, and I know the funeral was only last week but you didn't even act like how you are now right after the funeral. What's happened since then?"

"Nothing," I answered flatly.

"Mitchie, you are really starting to worry me with how you are acting. You're daydreaming in class practically falling asleep every day. And when you do fall asleep you always wake up screaming. You walk around like a zombie. I rarely ever see you smile anymore. I just want to make sure you are okay," she said worriedly.

"Really," I said forcibly sweet, "I'm doing alright. I've just been bogged down with studying this week. Everyone decided to plan tests this week."

"Are you sure that's all?"

I nodded politely wanting nothing more than to be done with this awkward conversation.

"Alright," she finally sighed after a couple more seconds of scrutinizing my behavior. "If you ever want to talk sometime you are always welcomed in my office."

"Thank you," I said slipping out of her classroom.

"Watch out where you're walking bitch," Tess growled running me over as I turned out of the classroom.

I steadied myself watching Tess retreat down the hall. Gathering my already angered thoughts, I turned the other way not giving in to Tess today. Absentmindedly twirling my lock, I tried to make sense of the conversation I just had along with the absurd nightmare. I pulled the lock up and threw my door open. Something whooshed out of my locker and flew across the tile floor. I crossed the vacant hallway and picked up the scrap that'd fallen from my crammed locker.

I slowly turned the unfamiliar envelope over in my hands looking for any sort of indication that it was mine. The entire envelope was blank. I hesitated in opening it but found my curiosity besting me.

_Begun_

Indistinctively I looked up and down the hallway checking to see if anyone else was there with me – hallway was clear. "What's begun?" I asked myself aloud grabbing a couple of books out of my locker to place in my book bag.

As I grabbed the second book, a plethora of unmarked envelopes tumbled to the floor. I stared, anxiety working its way through my body, at all the white envelopes. Quickly, I scooped them all up shoved them in my bag and rushed to the nearest bathroom.

My worry heightened as I found that each envelope housed a single word like the first one I read. All in all there were nearly ten or twelve words. Panicked now, I was shaking so severely that the pieces of paper appeared to be dancing in my hands. I got off the ground and moved to the sink to run some cool water over my face. The cold contacted with my skin and I felt myself come back to reality somewhat. I looked at myself in the mirror and spotted a person standing behind me. I screamed bloody murder.

"Mitchie, what's wrong?" It was Caity.

I was sobbing now.

"Mitchie what happened? What's going on? Why are there pieces of paper all over the floor?" she asked worriedly holding my shaking body tightly.

"I don't know Caity," I squeaked out.

Caity let go of me for a second to pick up the mess I'd left on the floor. Her eyes widened as she grabbed each sheet of paper separately and read the words. "What the hell," she murmured flipping through the sheets again.

"I-I I just found them in my locker," I cried sinking to the floor. "I don't know wh-what they say. Caity what is going on?"

"It's going to be okay Mitch," she said soothingly, returning to embrace me. "Why don't we get your stuff together and head home. We can figure this out later."

"We have musical practice," I stated.

"You are in no state to sing, dance, or do anything," Caity said motherly, she began pulling me out of the bathroom and in the direction of the parking lot.

"No Caity," I said forcibly. "I need to go to practice. It will get my mind off things. I need a distraction. I need to see Shane."

"I don't know Mitch, you are really scaring me today. What else is up? You've been acting weird all day."

I sighed not wanting to get into my nightmare at the moment. "I've just been really tired lately."

Caity knew I was lying but she didn't press me any further. "Let's go to practice and we can talk about this later. And don't think you're going to find some way to weasel out of not telling me what the hell is going on with you."

"Promise," I said trying to smile.

"Don't try, you just look scary."

I hit her playfully and genuinely laughed for the first time that day.

* * *

"Mitchie you sound off today, what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" wondered M, she was walking between Shane and I on the stage trying to figure out the reason why nothing I was singing sounded good.

"I think I'm just tired," I said, stress built up behind my words.

Shane noticed my change in tone while M continued pacing between us. His beautiful blue/brown eyes were worried, too worried. I tried a small smile hoping it told him that everything was fine. He rolled his eyes – he didn't buy it. Damn him for knowing me too well.

"Well are you okay enough to go over lines? Maybe we will hold off on the singing until Monday," she suggested easily. "The Spectacular crew come over here, let's go over the lines from school. Mitchie take a quick break."

I sighed, the last thing I needed was a break. It only gave me more time to worry about my too real dream and sketchy letters. I headed towards the back of the stage taking a seat on the piano bench. Shane followed suit sitting next to me quietly.

"What's going on Mo?" he asked gently brushing a piece of hair out of eyes. "You're scaring everyone around here lately. What's going on in that head?"

I looked up at him through my eyelashes not trusting myself to keep the tears in. "I'm just tired."

"I don't buy that line any sooner than I will buy the line that you're okay," he said touching my cheek. "Look at me."

I cringed remembering the dream. Shane retracted, a look of fear flashing across his face. He was hurt by my action, and I felt terrible for it. One lone tear dripped from my tired eyes.

"Mitchie," he cooed softly taking me in his arms, "talk to me sweetheart. Tell me what's wrong. I will help you."

I sucked in a huge sob and bit my lip to keep it in. Silently I reached for my bag that was resting against the piano. I rummaged inside until I gathered all the letters. I placed them in Shane's hands without a word.

He looked at me a long time before sifting through the papers. His eyes widened exactly as Caity's had. "When did you get these?"

"I just found them all stuffed in my locker," I cracked holding my hand over my face, holding my head up.

"I've told you before that I won't let anything happen to you," he said quietly moving along the bench so that he was able to tuck me into his arm. "Mitchie, I am not going to ever let anything happen to you again. Do you hear me?"

I sobbed, nodding my understanding. He pressed a kiss on my head as if to seal the deal.

M's voice rang out over our conversation. "No that is all wrong! Who taught you to say lines like that Grady? Because I'm sure it wasn't me. Does anyone feel like being here today? I'm fed up with this! Everyone we're done for the day. Be ready on Monday to work really hard."

"At least one thing has gone right today," I sighed grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. Shane simply reached over and took the load off my shoulders.

"I think we need to get you home, watch a movie, eat some macaroni and cheese, and drink some chocolate milk."

I smiled a real smile. "You know me too well."

"Someone's gotta take the job, might as well be me," he smirked.

Caity and Nate caught up to us jabbering on about something that happened during rehearsals today. "You feeling better Mitch?" Cait asked upon seeing my smile. If only she'd seen my mental breakdown five seconds earlier. It's a miracle how Shane can pull me out of something so easily by just being there.

"I'm still kind of tired, but Shane's promised me Mac 'n' cheese and a movie so I think I'll be all better soon."

"I hope that invitation is extended to all of us," Nate said excitedly. "You know how much I like macaroni and cheese now that I've been with Caity. I swear its one of the only meals we eat."

"Movie and dinner party at our house it seems like then," Shane smiled opening the front doors for us.

"Sounds perfect," we chorused.

I smiled yet again feeling my spirits lift for the first time all week. I was finally beginning to feel like my old self again, and believe me this week has been hell for me.

* * *

Ever since Tristan and Raine left on Monday, everything's seemed to have gone downhill from there. It started Monday morning with Tess at school. She was still a little pissed from our last encounter with Tristan, so now that he was nowhere to be found she welcomed it as let's-make-Mitchie's-life-miserable-for-her. Along with Tess on my back every second of every day, rehearsals were becoming even more hellish than usual. M was dead-set on us being ready for this musical at least two months ahead of time. Not to mention that the full force of my mother's death was now waning on me.

I was so thankful for the people in my life like Caity, Shane, and Nate. Without them, I honestly don't know what I would be doing at this moment.

Anyway, after rehearsals Shane called Jason and told him I wasn't able to work that evening. I felt bad for bailing out on work, but Nate informed me that Jason wanted to close shop up early today so that he could road trip down to see Stella at school. So apparently I'd done him a favor by not coming into work today.

The ride to the clans was lively and musical. Nate, not having known my previous doings of the day, thought it would be oh so fun to sing the entire way back to the house as if we were in concert. So I was painfully listening to Caity and Nate scream out the lyrics to a Paramore song which kind of freaked me out that Nate knew the song almost better than Caity. This was exactly the type of distraction I needed.

Stacey was overjoyed to see us all pile out of Shane's car. "I've got macaroni and cheese cooking on the stove and a pitcher of, might I say, some of the best chocolate milk ever waiting on the counter. Come on in children!" she called beckoning us inside and out of the chilled winter winds.

"You told her?" I asked Shane.

He smiled. "I thought you may be too tired to wait around, so I thought I'd have her fix it up and have it ready for us when we got here. Now all we gotta do is pick the movie and settle in for the night."

"Nothing's ever sounded better," I sighed leaning into his side.

Stacey scooped me into her arms as soon as I crossed into the house. "Shane said you weren't feeling all that good so I whipped up a batch of chocolate chip cookies too. I'm going to put them in soon so you can eat them fresh after your dinner."

"You didn't have to do that Stacey," I proclaimed hating that she was worrying about me when she really had nothing to worry about.

"Mimi!" Hollace's adorable voice echoed throughout the house.

Her small brunette head whipped around the corner and hurtled straight at me. "Hey Ace," I smiled picking her up easily.

"Hollace do not pester Mitchie, she doesn't feel very well," Stacey said scolding the small child.

"She's fine," I told Stacey turning back to the girl. "Are you going to watch the movie with us?"

"I allowed too?" she asked cutely shoving her hands on her cheeks making an 'o' face.

"Of course you can, you can sit with me."

"What about Thane?" she questioned looking up at the beautiful boy standing behind me.

"I don't think he will be too jealous," I told her quietly.

She giggled adorably. "Thane don't like when I take you from him."

"That's because you steal her from me with your uncanny ability to persuade people by being so adorable," Shane spoke up touching her cheek playfully.

"You are just too adorable for words," I told her walking into the heavenly smelling kitchen.

A huge bowl of macaroni and cheese sat on the counter top just waiting for me to dig into. A pitcher of chocolate milk sat beside it along with a couple other choice drinks for the crazy people who didn't like chocolate milk. Caity and Nate were already scooping piles of the glorious cheesy noodles onto their plates. A couple other clan children wandered into the kitchen upon hearing our arrival. I received many hugs from Libba, Rylee, Jensen, and James. Keavy Rae reached for me to pick her up but Hollace did not seem to be leaving my arms anytime soon. She settled for Shane.

I somehow managed to get a plate full of macaroni and cheese ready for Hollace and I along with two full glasses of chocolate milk all while holding Hollace and without making a speck of a mess. Needless to say I was rather proud of myself.

"What movie?" Hollace asked as I set her down on the floor so she could carry her own plate.

"I'm not sure Holl, what movie do you wanna watch?" Shane asked.

"Elf!" she screamed pumping her fist in the air.

"It's passed Christmas Holl," Nate said coming up from behind her tickling her sides.

She gave him a look like and-that-matters-because. "Thane, watch Elf?" Hollace asked tugging on the older boys pant leg.

"Of course Holl," he smiled giving Nate a smirk.

"Yay!" she screamed.

"To the movie room!" Shane shouted.

All the younger children screamed with excitement. "Please be careful! Don't spill!" Laurie said waddling into the kitchen. She looked on the verge of popping out a kid at any minute.

"How are you feeling Laurie?" I asked helping her to sit.

"Tired," she sighed.

"Laurie," Julie screeched upon entering the room, "you are not supposed to be moving around. The doctor's told you you're on bed rest."

Laurie rolled her eyes at Caity and me. "Julie worries too much. I'm feeling fine. I just need to get off my ass for a little while. Then I saw you two were here and had to come down."

"Mitchie, Caity the movie is about to start," Libba said coming around the corner.

"We'll be right there," Caity said grabbing her food.

Libba smiled and retreated back to the movie room.

"Get going girls, we won't bore you with old woman talk anymore," Stacey smiled patting me on the back.

"Thank you again for all the food Stacey, everything looks delicious," I said graciously.

She smiled and shooed the pair of us out of the kitchen. Caity and I walked the familiar path to the movie room which was the same room we watched the music video in last weekend. The lights were already dimmed as we walked in, the room filled with laughter and chatter as they waited for us to get there. Will Ferrell's voice played over and over again on the huge screen saying the same annoying phrases, waiting for someone to press play.

"Mimi!" Hollace's voice called from the third row. She and Shane were sitting together eating their macaroni and cheese.

"I'm gonna go sit with Nate and the girls," Caity said. "After the movie we will have some girl time though."

"Sounds good Cait," I smiled allowing her to move to the front row with her boyfriend and Libba and Rylee.

I moved along the platform plopping down in my seat between Shane and Hollace. "How's the food?" I asked Hollace quietly.

Nate dimmed the rest of the lights so we were bathed in complete darkness except for the glow of the screen.

"Ithee really good," Hollace smiled cheese dripping from her chin.

"Everyone quiet! The movie's starting!" Jensen called from within the room.

A spurt of laughter rang throughout the room before it fell silent, everyone focused on the opening of the movie.

"How are you doing beautiful?" Shane whispered in my ear.

Shivers shot down my spine pleasantly. I craned my neck back so I could look him in the eyes. "I'm feeling much better," I whispered to him. "Thank you for always making me feel better."

He smiled bringing his fingers up to my cheek. I didn't falter this time. His warm fingers traced my cheek bone allowing my eyes to roll back lazily into my head. He brought his other hand up to rest on my neck. He pulled me up so that our lips were inches apart.

"Thane, Mimi movie on," Hollace whisper-yelled pointing at the screen.

Reluctantly Shane entangled his hands from my face pouting. Hollace just giggled, laughing along with the movie.

"Maybe later," I whispered to him.

His grin animated his entire face.

Somewhere along the way, my eyes started to droop lower and lower. Usually Will Ferrell was able to keep me entertained but tonight I guess I was just too tired to enjoy his humor. Hollace climbed into my lap after we'd finished eating and was pleasantly snoozing. I shifted so that my head was able to lie comfortably on Shane's chest. I never felt more at peace in my life than at this moment.

"_Come on out Mitchie, there's no need to hide from me," he called out gently sounding too much like a ghost of my past._

_I shuddered from behind the wall. He was getting closer._

"_Mitchie, you know how I don't like it when people don't obey me," he said starting to sound angrier._

_I inched slowly along the wall hoping some miraculous savior would swoop in and save me. Too bad nothing ever happened like that for me in situations like this. Another set of footsteps joined the one's I already knew._

"_Do you have the bitch yet?" the voice sounded familiar but I couldn't pinpoint it._

"_She's hiding out there somewhere," the first voice answered the second._

"_Well maybe we should search a little harder," the second said with an edge._

_I bit my lip and continued sliding along the wall._

"_Going somewhere precious," the bald man smiled turning the corner straight into my face._

I screamed jumping so bad that Hollace fell off my lap. I looked around, the movie was still playing but it was nearing the end. Shane stirred next to me, my screaming having disturbed his peaceful slumber. I scooped Hollace back up before she could make a sound.

"Everything okay Mitch?" he asked, his voice dripping with sleep.

"Yeah just a bad dream," I said smoothing back some of Hollace's hair.

"You're sweating Mitch," he observed moving forward to brush some stray beads of sweat off my forehead. "You're burning up."

"I'm fine," I told him.

His eyes told me he didn't believe me. "What did you dream about?" he wondered.

"Lollipops and candy canes," I droned.

He smirked. "Really?"

I glanced down to the sleeping form of Hollace. "Not now," I whispered nodding to the little girl.

He nodded. "Alright," he said pulling me back onto his chest, "keep sleeping."

I fell back onto his chest and soon enough was falling back into a deep slumber.

* * *

Thankfully my sleep wasn't disturbed with anymore confusing dreams about people I'd never seen before. I awoke sometime later, a lot later. No one was even in the movie room anymore. I grabbed my phone off the floor and pressed a button.

"Ten thirty," I screeched jumping up from the chair. It was ten thirty the next morning. I'd slept all night and had completely spaced about thinking to wake up to go home. Hopefully Carmen wasn't completely freaking out wondering where Caity and I were.

I raced up the stairs wondering where everyone had gone too. The second I stepped onto the landing something felt different about the house. It was too quiet yet there was low chatting coming from the kitchen. Usually at this hour all the children would be up causing some sort of mayhem.

Slowly I walked down the hallway straining my ears to try and hear what was going on in the kitchen. I turned the corner and found the kitchen full to bursting with every member of the house. I spotted Shane sitting at the table. I stepped onto the tile and Shane caught my eye.

He moved back from the table, and my eye caught something sitting across from him. My stomach twisted painfully, panic pushing into my mind. Sitting across the table from Shane was the bald, dark brown eyed man from my nightmare. He looked up, saw me, and smiled forebodingly.

What. The. Hell.

**

* * *

yeah? no? thoughts? thanks for being amazing.**


	33. Who Says You Can't Go Home?

**im amazed. speechless. flabbergasted. astonished. any other word that has to do with those. you guys, seriously. i know i tell you all the time how amazing you are. but the reviews for this past chapter just iced the cake. all of you, every single one of you, who reviewed last time thank you so much. everyone had such great things to say. and i cant, i seriously cant, tell you enough how much it means to me. im just. i cant even speak. thank you. times a million.**

**i know i left you hanging a little last time. and i have a feeling you will be mighty surprised to see who it is that is sitting in the kitchen. if anyone thought it was going to be who it is, your awesome. and wickedly clever. i tried to write this chapter fast so i could give you guys back another chapter for being so amazing. but i struggled on parts because i didnt know how i wanted to write it. personally, i think this chapter is a bit jumpy. mitchie is very bi-polar and im sorry for that. shes slightly, drastic. but not too bad. the next chapters wont suck as bad as this one. i guess its a semi-filler trying to put things in perspective. there will be much more drama and of course smitchie fluff coming up. there is a bit in this chapter, im not sure if its enough to satisfy but its some. i cant go completely crazy with it yet!**

**anyways, enough of the jabbering and onto the story. i hope everyone who celebrated thanksgiving last week had a blessed one! and if you didnt, i still hope you had a blessed week! the christmas holiday is coming up for me and im really excited! hopefully ill be able to write more when im home and not doing any work for school. fingers crossed. :)**

**alright best readers in the world; enjoy.**

**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Three: Who Says You Can't Go Home?**

_**Who says you can't go home**_

_**There's only one place they call me one of their own**_

_**Just a hometown boy born a rolling stone**_

_**Who says you can't go home**_

_**Who says you can't go back**_

_**I've been all around the world and as a matter of fact**_

_**There's only one place left I want to go**_

_**Who says you can't go home**_

_**It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright**_

**Who Says You Can't Go Home: Bon Jovi**

"Mitchie," Shane's soft voice pushed through my pumping mind. I barely heard him; I don't think I would have noticed if I hadn't been staring at his face.

He looked excited, too excited for my liking. I adverted my gaze from the man and glanced around the room quickly. Stacey was seated next to the man clutching the sobbing Keavy Rae tightly to her chest. Julie stood behind her grasping the back of the chair with more force than necessary. Laurie flanked Stacey on the other side glancing warily between the man and her sister. Mark stood off from the central gathering pacing slowly from one end of the room to the other. Nate sat next to Shane staring transfixed by the man sitting across the table from him. Caity had her hand on Nate's lower back rubbing soothing patterns to try and calm the tense nature his body was giving off.

The rest of the children hovered around the table unknowing and confused. Hollace's brown eyes spotted me at the door and rushed over to me. I caught her easily.

"Mimi, I thcared," she whispered softly digging her head into my neck.

Shane heard her and quickly stood from the table dismissing himself for a minute. He rose from the table and my eyes fell on the bald man's once again. His smile was wicked almost endearingly sickening. My stomach dropped. I allowed Shane to pull me from the kitchen without any hesitation. He led me into the piano room a couple doors down. As soon as we were in the closed room I let loose.

"What the _hell_ Shane," I muttered softly being sure to cover Hollace's ears. "Why is there a strange man sitting in your kitchen?"

He frowned slightly at my outburst of anger – I'd forgotten he had no idea about the nightmares. "What's wrong Mitch?"

"Nothing, I'm sorry, just a little tired still I guess," I said trying to play off my bad mood.

Apparently he didn't buy it as well as I thought he would. "There's something wrong, I know you."

"Yeah, obviously too well," I mumbled quietly looking at Hollace.

She made a goofy face which instantly had me smiling.

"It's nothing to worry about though, what's going on here?" I asked attempting to sound genuinely interested and failing at it miserably.

Shane was too excited though by my mentioning of the "big to-do" that was apparently happening in this house. "I know this is going to sound extremely weird and so out of this world but just listen to me," he started off which never sounded good.

I nodded shifting Hollace so that she was resting on my hip.

"You saw the man in there right?"

I nodded again and shielded my shudder by moving Hollace again.

"Well, this is so crazy but," he paused for a grand affect, "it's my dad."

For a couple seconds I swear I'd heard him say that the bald creepy man in there was his dead father, which made complete sense right? I shook my head trying to make sense of the situation. "Wh-what, what, how is that, what?" I stuttered not able to voice my current scatterbrained thoughts.

"I know, I know, I know," he said quickly. "I didn't believe it at first either."

I set Hollace down. "Ace, why don't you go back to the kitchen for a couple minutes? Shane and I have to discuss some … things."

She pouted and reluctantly left my side to stomp her way back to the kitchen – adorable as ever. Once I'd heard her feet on the kitchen tile I turned back to Shane. "Do you know how crazy this sounds?"

He nodded quickly. "I know, it's crazy, but it's really him. I can't believe it either. Mom has been sort of freaking out about the whole situation."

"How do you know it's really him?" I whispered.

"I think I'd remember my own father," he said, a bit of an attitude behind his words.

I nodded placing a comforting hand on his arm. My mind instantly flipped back to my first night in Shane's house, in his room. The huge picture of his dad in full military costume stood out blatantly. The tight rimmed smile, the same beautiful brown/blue eyes as Shane's, the close chopped army haircut; nothing resembled the man that now sat in the other room.

He sensed what I was thinking. "I know he doesn't look the same as he did before, but he's basically been through hell and back. Hell we all thought he was blown up in an airplane."

"Did they never find his body?"

He shook his head.

"So you buried an empty coffin?" I wondered slightly perturbed at the idea.

He shrugged. "It gave Mom closure or whatever," he said offhandedly. "I know what you must be thinking. The kids are all freaked out especially the little ones. It took them forever to cope with the idea that he was never coming back, and now with him showing up on our doorstep after three years it's just freaked them out even more. Keavy Rae won't even look at him."

"Can you blame them?" I voiced.

"I guess not," he sighed. "I just, all my wishes have finally come true. My life is finally complete; I have my whole family back with me. I have you here by my side. I couldn't ask for anything more."

I tried to ignore the awful feeling I was getting about this situation. It crawled deep in my stomach slowly kneading my insides together. He engulfed me in an overexcited hug.

"Come on, I want you to finally meet him," he smiled grabbing a hold of my hand.

Holy hell, here goes nothing.

* * *

Shane was practically dragging me into the kitchen, his excitement too much for my still recovering body. I was worrying, more like freaking out. What was I going to say to this man that was supposedly my boyfriend's father, but who also plagued my dreams as a villain? But then again maybe my imagination was just playing games with me. It couldn't be the exact same man from my dreams. Of course not, that's just irrational. Somehow thinking that my dream attacker and the man sitting in the other room were not the same person calmed me. Although a voice in the back of my head was screaming, 'The resemblance is uncanny. You can't just ignore that.' I tried, hard as I could, to push that out and be happy for Shane.

"You're going to love him," he whispered back to me.

I nodded not trusting myself to speak.

We slowed reaching the kitchen threshold. Not much had changed in the kitchen. Stacey was talking softly to the man, her sisters' close behind her, and Mark wearing paths in the linoleum floor. It was then I noticed that Jason wasn't here. I turned to ask Shane but figured out the answer before voicing it – he was with Stella. I would give anything to be with them right now, and not staring into the tranquilizing eyes of a man who resembled an attacker.

"Dad," Shane said easily as if having been absent for three years hadn't changed anything, "I want you to meet someone very special."

Of course I blushed, anytime he mentioned me in context like that made my insides feel like goo. Nate saw my look of embarrassment and snickered quietly. Caity slapped his arm and nodded towards me. That girl was the bestest friend in the whole entire world.

"I've heard a lot about you." His voice wasn't as hard or demeaning as the voice in my dreams. I found this comforting, somewhat. He stuck his hand across the table for me to shake. I quickly sat down next to Nate politely ignoring the hand – too soon for me to be shaking hands with a supposed dead man.

"This is Mitchie," Shane introduced resting his hand on my lower back.

"It's very nice to finally meet you," I said quietly shielding myself by moving closer to Nate.

Shane sat next to me not noticing my movement towards Nate. "We were just catching up on the last three years," Paul Gray said easily resting back in his seat casually draping his arm over Stacey's shoulders.

Her discomfort did not go unnoticed by me. Hollace crept up in my lap hiding her face yet again in the crook of my neck. The uncomfortable air in the room was suffocating. No one really talked except for Paul and Shane. They talked animatedly about school, the family, and me. I don't think anything else I'd been put through had been more awkward than this; even all those embarrassing moments in Aruba didn't amount up to this right here.

"So Mitchie," he said turning to me once again, his smile widening, "Shane's told me a lot about you." I tried to look happy. "I hear you are quite the singer."

"Dad," Shane moaned.

He waved his son off – uh, that sounded so weird. "Oh Shane, just relax, I'm just asking your very beautiful girlfriend a couple questions." The way he stared at me made me feel uncomfortable, like he already knew who I was. I felt Nate grab a hold of my hand underneath the table and squeeze it reassuringly. Caity was staring at me trying to figure out what was going on with me.

"You know what," Caity finally said taking her eyes from me, "I think Mom is going to be worried that were not home yet. I think Mitchie and I should head home."

"I'll take you guys home," Nate offered almost immediately.

I rose from the table slowly. Shane stood with me. "It's okay, you can stay and catch up," I said softly glancing at the bald man out of the corner of my eye.

"Are you sure?" he asked following me out into the hallway.

I nodded giving him the most sincere smile I could muster. "Yeah, go," I said lightly shoving him back towards the crowded kitchen.

His beautiful eyes sparkled as they captured mine in a trance. His big hands grabbed my face gently drawing me up into his waiting lips. My whole body surged with satisfying warmth leaving my worried thoughts at bay. My fingers got caught up in his wavy hair pulling his head closer, deepening the kiss. He moaned against my mouth a fire bursting deep in my stomach. He let one hand trail down my cheek all the way down to my lower back. He gently pulled me even closer to his body – if that was even possible.

"Oh Mo," he murmured ducking to leave a trail of kisses on my neck.

My fingers knotted in his hair dragging his face back up to mine. A cough interrupted our intense make out session. We broke apart breathing heavily and flustered. Caity and Nate stood before us bemused smiles on their faces.

"Ready to go Mitch?" Nate asked smirking.

Shane walked by and punched his cousin in the arm. He turned back to me and caught my face in his hands again. "See you later," he whispered kissing me one last time.

"Enough already!" Nate complained.

Caity laughed. "Come on Nate, let's go wait in the car."

Their departure left us alone. "Yeah," I smiled biting my lip.

He ran his finger over my mouth pulling my lip from underneath my teeth. "You know what that does to me," he murmured running his hand through my unkempt hair.

I smiled shyly. "I'll see you."

One more scorching kiss and he whispered, "I love you Mitchie."

"I love you too," I muttered softly, my mind lapsing from the lack of oxygen.

He finally tore himself away from me heading back to the kitchen. He smiled once more before turning the corner. I sighed, biting my lip again, and knocked my head softly against the wall.

"What the hell just happened?" I asked myself with a laugh running out the door to meet my impatient friends.

* * *

Shane's hypnotic spell can only last for so long. By the time Nate pulled into the Gellar's driveway I was back in my cocoon of worry. Every time I closed my eyes those piercing brown eyes were taunting me, teasing. I allowed Caity and Nate some alone time by heading into the house ahead of them. Nate gave me a great big bear hug which seemed to calm me somewhat. But as soon as the comforting presence of levelheaded Nate left, I was a wreck.

I quietly made my way up the stairs, being careful not to disturb Carmen and Owen. They were lounging together in the family room watching some romantic comedy that I did not want to have to suffer through if they noticed I was home.

I made it into my room without so much as a squeaky floor board – the gods were good. I dropped my book bag on the ground and fell onto my bed. Although it was only midday I was beyond tired. It probably didn't help that I slept on a movie theater chair last night.

Sleep was coming to me but was eventually interrupted by Caity busting through my door and jumping onto the bed. She crawled under the covers and snuggled up to my side.

"So best friend, why are we laying in bed when it's like two in the afternoon on a Saturday?" she questioned easily.

I yawned giving her the answer she was looking for.

"Tough sleep last night?"

"About that," I spoke, "why didn't we go home? Why didn't _you_ wake me up so we could go home?"

"Don't freak out," she laughed. "After the movie was over practically everyone was out cold. I didn't have the heart to wake you up. So, Nate and I did some begging but we managed to get his mom and my mom to agree to allow us to stay overnight. Of course we weren't allowed to stay in the same room but it's something that they even let us stay over."

"Wait, so then why didn't someone move me into a bed where I would actually have gotten a good night's sleep?"

Cait shoved me. "Way to act the part of a bitch," she laughed.

I smiled. "I can play it off very well."

"The real reason is that we didn't want to move you," she said truthfully. "I'd known how bad you'd been sleeping lately and you looked so peaceful with Shane that I didn't have the heart to wake you up. I knew he would be able to keep the bad dreams away."

"And he did," I whispered not being able to remember having a dream last night save for the very first one.

"So, you wanna tell me why you were acting all freaky this morning?" she asked. "And don't even think you are going to get out of not telling me about it."

"I think I was just freaked out by the fact that Shane's dad is suddenly alive and kicking and in their house," I stated being almost completely truthful.

Caitlyn nodded readily. "I never imagined him like that," she whispered as if we were sharing deep dark secrets with each other. "How Nate always described him I imagined him with a friendlier face and a bigger than life personality. He seems broken and detached yet trying too hard to be funny."

"You got all that from a couple minutes with him?" I asked with a laugh.

"You forget that I was in there a lot longer before you decided to wake up."

"Touché."

She laughed softly readjusting her position so that she was laying flat on her back staring up at the white ceiling, a look of contemplation adorning her pretty face. "You looked pretty freaked when you first saw him."

"Yeah," I sighed matching her position, "I don't know. I guess I was just shocked. I mean I wake up in an unfamiliar place come to find out that my boyfriend's supposed dead father has come back from the dead and is sitting in their kitchen."

"I didn't mean that."

She always knew when something else was bothering me, and at this moment I hated that efficient trait about her. "He looked like someone I knew," I admitted carefully.

"I saw how he was looking at you, like he already knew you or something. That's why I bailed out and decided it was best for us to leave. I didn't want that man looking at you anymore."

I shrugged. "I don't know Cait, maybe we're just being a little too harsh on him," I said steering her away from the fact that she knew I was afraid of him.

"Maybe you're right," she agreed. "Anything else bothering you?"

I racked my brain. "Nothing at the moment, you know that won't last long though."

"Such a disturbed soul," she laughed rolling off the bed. "Now get up! We are not spending our Saturday sulking around the house. Let's get out and do something!" As she was jabbering to me, she was also slowly walking backwards – I have no idea why. But unfortunately her feet caught my book bag meaning she was sent crashing to the floor landing hard on her ass.

Of course I busted out laughing. "Smooth my friend, real smooth," I laughed. After a couple seconds I noticed she wasn't laughing. I peered over the edge of the bed and saw her rifling through the spilled envelopes on the ground. My breath caught in my throat. I clutched my stomach instantaneously, the fear pushing its way back in.

"I'd forgotten about these," Caity breathed pulling out all the pieces of paper and spreading them out on the floor in front of her. She shifted through them trying to make sense of the cryptic message of it all.

"Can we not worry about that today?" I whispered watching her hands switch words and hover over others.

"I think I've got it," she proclaimed softly, her dark brown eyes gazing thoughtfully at the pieces of paper before her.

I scooted off the bed to sit by her on the floor. My hand shook as I read off the message. "_Are You Afraid? The War Has Begun, I Would Be._"

"What the hell does that even mean?" I exclaimed shaking worse than ever.

Caity held me close. "I don't know Mitch. It doesn't make any sense. Who would want to hurt you?"

I laughed bitterly. "I can think of someone," I grumbled my mind flashing to a dark haired hellion.

"You think Tess would do this? I don't think she has it in her to actually do bad things. She's a bunch of talk," explained Caity soothingly rubbing my back.

"You don't know how angry she is with me."

"Alright, enough of this," she said standing abruptly, "I can't take all your freaked out hysteria. We are going to go out and have some fun for once."

"What are we going to do?" I wondered cautiously. Whenever Caity got on these bends of making my life better everything and anything was game.

"I'm not sure yet, but me and you are going to find something to do. We aren't going to sit around the house and worry, I can tell you that. Give me a minute, I'll think of something." She exited my room still mumbling to herself.

Without the bouncy presence of Caity in my room, my panic and paranoia escaladed. I sunk back to the floor staring at the words laid out haphazardly. I stared, holding my stomach tightly to keep it from exiting my body. A long buzz startled my thoughts. I reached up on my bed and grabbed the buzzing phone.

_One New Text._

Curious, I flipped open the phone and smiled. "'Proposition, double date with C and N tonight? You looked like you needed a fun night out.' How does he know me so well?" I muttered preparing to text him back but was rudely interrupted by Caity barging into my room yet again. "If you run through my door like that anymore I'm not going to have a door!"

"Good to know your sarcasm hasn't been lost," she grumbled holding up her phone. She saw mine was in my hand too. "Shane?"

I nodded. "Nate?"

"Are you alright hanging out with them? I know I was talking about doing something with us. I totally understand if you wanna ditch them and have a girl's night. We haven't had one in forever."

I put a hand on her arm to stop her. "It's alright Cait. Hanging out with the boys are fun, I mean they are our boyfriends. I guess we are obligated to hang out with them. We can have a girl's day tomorrow or something," I suggested lightly.

"Alright, I'll text Nate back right now. I guess you can text Shane too. You know it's probably a good idea that were hanging out with them seeing as neither of us have a car and they do."

"So basically we are only hanging out with them because they can drive?" I wondered wandering into my bathroom.

"Definitely," Caity said following me.

"I love it," I laughed heartily. That felt like the first real laugh I've had in days or weeks. "So, do I have time to shower?"

"Yeah of course," she said texting back a quick message to Nate. "They want to do dinner and a movie."

"What movie?" I asked taking the hair tie out of my greasy brown hair.

"Nate's suggested Taken," she said reading off the screen.

"What's that about?" I shimmied around Caity to start the water.

I saw her shrug in the mirror. "He doesn't know, just says it sounds good."

I nodded. "As long as it's not too scary," I said testing the water temperature – still too cold.

"They want to get Swenson's for dinner," Caity said backing out of the bathroom still reading her text. She, yet again, tripped over her own feet and was sent tumbling to the ground rather ungracefully.

"I swear you are going to kill yourself just by being unobservant," I snorted switching the water to the shower head.

"I hate you," she grumbled picking herself up. "Swenson's good though?"

"Delicious," I agreed, "I haven't had it in awhile."

"Alright well hurry up so we can get going! The boys are gonna pick us up in an hour or so," she said as I closed the door in her face.

"I think you should take a shower too! You're smelling a bit ripe!" I shouted locking the door just in time.

She banged loudly. "You will pay for that Mitchie Leigh!"

I laughed quietly to myself and jumped into the warmth.

* * *

An hour later the boys were banging on the front door complaining about how long it takes us to get ready.

"I can't help it that it takes Caity three hours to look like she does now. You should have seen her before," I whispered to the boys glancing over at Caity. She looked ready to throttle me.

"The real Mitchie is back!" Nate cried gathering me in an excited hug.

"I never left, I think I was just lost," I said breaking free of the crushing hug.

Shane took my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. Carmen and Owen wandered to the door. "You kids have fun tonight," Carmen said putting her arm around Owen.

"Don't stay out to late!" Owen added.

Caity turned to us. "He's kidding," she muttered pushing us out the opened door and into the crisp night air.

"Bye!" we chorused piling into Shane's SUV.

I took the passenger seat while Caity and Nate climbed in the back. "It's sad that the snows already melting," I sighed staring out the window as Shane pulled out of the driveway.

"I'm sure there will be more before you know it," Shane answered. "It's only the beginning of February anyway."

"Shane hit us up with some good tunes!" Caity yelled obnoxiously.

Shane shot me a glance and rolled his eyes. "You can handle the music. I will not be held liable for not playing _good_ music."

"Pansy," I laughed turning on the radio.

He smiled at me, a type of smile that said I'm-glad-you're-feeling-better. And I was feeling much better. I don't know what had been wrong with me the last couple weeks, but I just felt off. Being with Shane, Nate, and Caity always took my mind off things. I guess I'd had too much alone time for me to over think almost everything that's happened to me recently. But now, now I was better – truly I was. Not even the creepy man from my dreams was bothering me.

I sighed to myself. I'm such a train wreck it's kind of ridiculous. I swear I'm probably bi-polar.

Caity's excited scream tore me out of my thoughts. "I love this song!"

I listened to the opening music for a second before deciding I loved the song too. I turned toward Caity holding my hand up in front of my mouth like a microphone. "I'm gonna make it bend and break."

"It sent you to me without a wait," Caity added while I sang the opening line.

"Say a prayer, but let the good times roll. In case God doesn't show. Let the good times roll. Let the good times roll. And I want these words to make things right, but it's the wrongs that make the words come to life. "Who does he think he is?" If that's the worse you got, better put your fingers back to the keys."

Nate and Shane joined our rocking out/screaming. "One night and one more time. Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great. He tastes like you only sweeter. One night, yeah, and one more time. Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories. See he tastes like you only sweeter. Ohhhhhh!"

"I didn't know you liked Fall Out Boy," I said to Shane.

"Don't you remember that one time I drove you home, we listened to one of their songs then?"

"Huh, my memory must be slipping then."

"Not a surprise," he smiled.

We jumped back into the song having missed the first part of the next verse. "It's always cloudy except for when you look into the past. One night stand, one night stand! Oh one night and one more time. Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great. He tastes like you only sweeter. One night, yeah, and one more time. Thanks for the memories. Thanks for the memories. See, he tastes like you only sweeter! Ohhhhh!"

"They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers. In hotel rooms, collecting page six lovers. Get me out of my mind. Get you out of those clothes. I'm a liner away from getting you into the mood. Woooah!"

Caity and I really got into our head bashing on the next chorus. "One night and one more time. Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great. He tastes like you only sweeter. One night, yeah, and one more time. Thanks for the memories. Thanks for the memories. See, he tastes like you only sweeter. Ohhhhh!"

We rocked our air guitars and air drums until the ending of the song. "That's such a fun song to rock out too," Caity laughed, near tears, once the song was finally over.

"How much longer until we get there?" Nate groaned.

"Not long enough," Shane matched his tone.

Pretty positive that Shane sped – seriously fast – to Swenson's just so they wouldn't have to listen to us belt out angry rock songs anymore. But they forgot that Swenson's is a drive-in, and that we sit and wait for our food in the _car_ – yeah, bad luck on their part.

"How about you promise you won't scream to anymore songs and I'll buy your food for you," Shane suggested.

"You're always supposed to do that," said Caity. "Right Nate?"

"Uh, yeah," he stuttered.

Our laughter filled the car. "Way to suck into that one Natie," I laughed.

"Your order is here," the man in skates said lingering by Shane's window. Shane took the tray from his hands and thanked him. "Just turn your lights on when you're finished."

We dove into the bag as soon as Shane handed the tray over to me. "I forgot how good these burgers are," I murmured devouring my cheeseburger.

"What time does the movie start?" Shane asked taking a bite out of his own burger.

"7:30," Nate managed to say through a mouthful of food.

"Disgusting Nathaniel!" scolded Caity slapping him on his arm.

"Do you know what this movie is about?" I asked him.

He waited until he'd swallowed his food before answering me. "It's about some girl that gets kidnapped, and her dad is an ex-government agent who has to go find her. I've heard its really good, really thrilling plot."

Once the word kidnapping exited his mouth my whole body had stiffened. _Taken_, of course that sounded like a movie about kidnapping – why had I not picked it up sooner?

Shane saw me tense and asked quietly, "You okay with this?"

I nodded tersely adverting my eyes from his penetrating gaze. I glanced out the window trying to calm myself from the slight hysteria. In the distance, I swear that I saw a body move out of sight right as I spotted them. The person had an uncanny resemblance to non-other than – but it couldn't be, why would they be out here? I shook my head; I was just freaking myself out thinking about the movie. I turned back to Shane and smiled.

"It sounds like a really good movie, just as long as it's not a cheesy chick-flick I'll be good."

"You sure?"

"Promise," I smiled.

"Are we ready to leave yet!?" shouted Caity some fifteen minutes later.

At that moment our waiter skated back taking the tray and money from Shane. "Thank you guys. Have a great night!"

"Thank you!" Caity yelled out the window.

I twisted in my seat to look at her. "What the hell is wrong with you? Stop screaming you goof!"

Nate grabbed Caity around the waist as she attempted to tackle me through the seat. "Drive Shane, quick!" Nate instructed holding back the fighting brunette.

He was laughing so hard that he could barely keep his eyes on the road. I kept having to take the wheel just to make sure we wouldn't steer off the road.

"What would I do without you?" he wondered once he'd calmed down enough to take control of the car on his own.

"End up in a ditch somewhere," I said with a laugh.

He braved grabbing my hand and driving with one. He managed quite well seeing as we made it to the theater in one piece. I hopped out of the car and was immediately tackled by the flailing brunette. I saw Nate crawling out of the car behind her giving me an apologetic look. Soon tears filled my eyes, Caity was tickling me mercilessly.

"Alright I surrender! Caity, I can't take it anymore!" I laughed heavily.

Nate and Shane finally pried her off me. "You promise you won't say anymore mean or sarcastic things about me tonight?" she proposed.

"Mean, no. Sarcastic I can't guarantee," I smiled.

She made to lunge again but was stopped by the boys. "Caity just be glad she's among the living again," Nate told her.

Her expression softened. They deemed her sane enough to release. She lunged at me again but only to hug me this time. "I'm happy to see you happy," she whispered in my ear.

"Thanks," I replied clutching to her waist.

"Come on you two lovers," Shane yelled from the entrance, "the movie is staring in five minutes!"

I looked over my shoulder and grinned at him. "We'll be right there!"

I turned back to face Caity and saw something dark dash behind a car not too far away from us. Naturally, my heart beat quickened, the worry opening up a new whole in my stomach. I clutched it tightly telling myself to breathe slowly.

"What is it?" Cait asked noticing my displeasure.

She glanced behind her seeing nothing but empty cars. "I thought I saw something," I said quietly, shaking my head. "Let's catch up with the boys before they go to the movie without us."

"Good idea!" she giggled taking my hand.

We ran gaily toward our boyfriends who in turn laughed at our stupidity. "Sometimes I swear it's like you two are dating each other," Shane mused handing me a ticket stub.

"Thank you," I said. "And I resent that comment. You're just jealous our relationship isn't as intense as mine and Caity's."

"I beg to differ," Nate said wrapping his arms around his girlfriends shoulders from behind. "I remember casually meandering into a mauling session between you and Shane just this morning."

"You're the one that's gonna be dead now!" I yelled taking after the already running boy.

I chased him until he had to stop and hand the ticket taker is ticket stub to be ripped. He was dancing around like a little boy who had to pee very badly. The teenage boy looked at him like he was ready to lose his mind. He ripped his ticket, and Nate was off again. I glared having to wait for mine.

"Theater 9, it's to the left all the way down at the end of the hallway," he said with so much enthusiasm.

I took the ticket with an ungrateful smile and headed after Nate. I ran through the door slowing my speed as to not run over any other movie goers. I stopped, turned, and screamed so loudly that I wouldn't have been surprised if they called security.

"Nate!" I screamed punching him in the stomach. "You scared me so bad! You know better than that!"

"It was just too priceless to pass up." He doubled over with laughter clutching his stomach from the impact of my – strong – punch and laughing pain.

"You suck," I pouted stomping ahead of him and into the main part of the theater.

People were already scattered around in seats. They stared as we walked all the way to the top. They had obviously heard my little yell.

"It's all good people! I just scared her a little bit!" Nate announced to the crowd so they would stop staring.

Rolling my eyes I plopped down in a seat directly in the middle of the very last row. Nate dropped down next to me, a wide smile on his boyish face. His curly hair was sticking up in all directions from our chase.

"Thanks for that buddy, way to inform everyone of how much of a douche you are," I said crossing my arms over my chest.

Shane and Caity popped around the side looking around for Nate and I. I stood up waving my arms at them exasperatedly. Caity spotted me and waved back with the same fervor. I laughed as she sprinted up the steps and forced Nate to get out of his seat so she would be able to sit next to me.

"I'm going to need to hold Mitchie's hand if I scared," she told him.

Shane laughed taking the other seat next to me. He leant close to me, his breath tickling my ear pleasantly. "Just so you know I didn't mind the mauling session earlier. Although I wouldn't go too drastic and call it mauling, I would just say that it was a very private moment between two people who love each other very much."

"Is that what you would call it?" I breathed lightly feeling my head start to spin from the way he was looking at me.

His forehead met mine gently. "Yes, definitely." Our lips met in a burst of fireworks. Nate cleared his throat next to us.

"Could you at least wait until they dim the lights?" he whisper-yelled.

Shane threw him a glare and brought my face back to his. Overhead the lights dimmed finally signaling the beginning of previews. I broke away from Shane very reluctantly.

"We can save it for later," I said softly.

"Mm, I like the sound of that," he murmured brushing my cheek.

I smiled and hit him gently. "Pay attention," I said tearing my eyes away from the mesmerizing boy. In the farther corner of the theater a face glowered at me. I blinked and it was gone. I scoured the theater looking for the face that was haunting me tonight but it was nowhere in sight. I really was going to need a therapist soon, I thought sadly. I tried to focus my attention on the previews but my mind kept wandering back to the feeling that I was being watched, or worst yet, followed.

* * *

**not too terrible hopefully. if your confused or lost at all just ask. :) i know its jumpy and kind of off balance but this is what you get when i stay up to all hours writing. love you all so much!**


	34. I Will Remember You

**yes, im currently the worst author in the entire world of fanfiction. :( i do have a slightly legitimate excuse for being MIA for the past two months. i decided to go back and edit all my chapters. i finally got through them all the other night and i plan on fixing them shortly. i also read it again just to get a sense of how the story was flowing. sometimes i just need to go back and see what i was talking about and go from there. im soo unbelievably sorry for keeping you waiting this long. for all of you that are reading this thanks for sticking in there and waiting for me. and thank you all so much for reviewing with how much you like this story and how much you want me to keep updating. im updating for you because you all are amazing. and believe it or not i actually love writing this story. i have some really good ideas coming your way. sadly i know that i probably lost of lot of people with my prolonged absence but i know the ones that are still with me are the true readers. and i cannot thank you enough, seriously. over 650... im just speechless.**

**honestly im gonna shut up because i know you guys want to know what happens next. ive kept you waiting long enough.**

**i dont own anything except things you dont know.**

**ps: happy valentines day! this is my valentines gift to all you awesome readers. have a great day.**

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**Chapter Thirty-Four:**** I Will Remember You**

**__****I, I will remember you**

_**And all of the things that we've gone through**_

_**There is so much I could say**_

_**But words get in the way**_

_**So, if we're not together**_

_**I will remember you**_

_**I will remember you**_

**I Will Remember You: Ryan Cabrera**

"Are you sure you want to do this Mo?" Caitlyn asked me early next Sunday morning.

"Yes, I need too," I said pulling on my fuzzy boots making sure to tuck my jeans into them.

She gave me a worried face. "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

"I've got Jeffey with me," I smiled scooping the small puppy up and snuggling him against my face.

Carmen had told me that she was putting Owen on some extreme allergy pill so that Jeffey could live with us. She noticed that I'd been down lately and thought having Jeffey around would cheer me up some – saint much? Owen didn't seem to mind the little dog; it was just unfortunate genes that made him allergic to them. But now he barely even noticed there was a dog in the house – miracle allergy pill we have there.

"Are you sure?"

I sighed exasperatedly shifting Jeffey on my hip. "How many times are you going to ask me that before I finally leave?"

"Three more?" she wondered with a laugh. "I just want to make sure you are going to be okay."

"I have my phone with me just in case I need to call," I said pulling it out of my pocket. "Now will you stop worrying and go have some quality time with your boyfriend. He looks lonely over there all by himself."

She turned and spotted Nate giving her the puppy dog eyes on the couch. She rolled her own but couldn't keep the smile off her face. "Call me please when you get there and when you leave."

"Alright pushy," I said opening the front door. "Bye Natie, I love you!"

"I love you too!" he shouted back.

Caity stuck her head out the door. "Please be careful. I love you."

"I love you too Cait. Go have fun," I instructed pulling the door shut.

Finally ridden of my nagging friend I gently placed Jeffey on the ground and started our walk. He yipped excitedly happy to be out of the stuffy house. He sprinted from side to side sniffing everything and anything he could reach.

"Slow down Jeffey," I called jogging to keep up with him. "You're lease doesn't extend infinitely."

He sadly obeyed falling back to hop along just a few feet from my pace, already such a well trained puppy. As I walked along the sidewalk I let my eyes wander through my city. It had been awhile now since our last snowfall – even though it was threatening big flurries just a week ago – and the grass was just starting to clear of mushy slush. I was sad to see all the beautiful snow melt away, but slightly thankful at the same time. It meant spring was slowly but surely on its way to Ohio. At least that's what I hoped. Warm weather was something I needed right now.

It's been a week since my overcoming of whatever stupor I had been in, and I honestly can say I feel like everything is going really well. Musical rehearsals have been excellent; opening night is a mere month away and everyone is excited, nervous, ready to puke… you know the normal jitters of opening night. Not only have rehearsals been great, but my attentiveness in class has blossomed again. My teachers have stopped asking me how I was doing, and rather comment on how much better I seem and look – which personally, I am very thankful for.

The never ending pity parade was tiring me out. I'm partly blaming that on my depression even though I know it's not why I really was feeling down. But I'm not going to dwell on that. I'm moving forward with my life, putting all the dark and depressing things behind me and heading towards happier times. That's why I'm on this mission right now.

Nothing else major has happened in the past week. Oh wait, Laurie – Nate's mom – is expecting any day now. I swear I don't know how she's been able to keep the kid in her for the past month. She's practically bursting at the seams. Everyone is extremely excited and slightly exhausted. Laurie has been on bed rest for the past two weeks and has been snapping orders at anyone who wanders in her line of vision. She actually yelled at me and Caity the other day for having not brought her up a cup of green tea with paprika essence – don't ask pregnancy thing. Of course when she found out it was us she apologized mirthlessly. We understood. Basically her hormones were taking over her brain.

Now Shane, ah yes Shane. When is there ever anything negative to report about him? You remember that slightly inappropriate make out session we had last Saturday, well let's just say that he definitely liked that. More details later, right now I have something more important on my mind.

"Jeffey come on boy," I said tugging on his leash, "this way puppy." He scrambled up the elongated ugly semi-green and brown hill.

My eyes lingered on the gloomy looking gray chapel. It looked so dreadful with the dreary sky today. Jeffey took a huge lurch forward and making my feet lose their footing on the slippery hill. I caught myself and the leash right before anything disastrous happened.

I finally reached the top of the small hill. An array of flower bouquets and cute presents from loved ones scattered the various headstones. Jeffey slowed to a trot and somehow wandered in the exact direction of where I was heading. I placed the small assortment of roses – Mom's favorite – in the holder below her stone and placed two orange Lillie's on top of Matthew's.

I scooped the small puppy up in my arms and sat down on the damp grass in between their headstones. "Jeffey, now I want you to be a good puppy and be quiet for a little while," I shushed him scratching behind his ears. He yelped once and stopped squirming to stare with me. "Good boy."

I looked at Mom. "Hey Mom," I smiled sadly holding the puppy out to her, "look what Shane got me for my birthday. It's way too much; he also got me a violin. I know it's been awhile since Christmas, but I don't think I ever told you about my vacation. I had such a good time; you would have loved Aruba, white sands, crystal blue waters." I absentmindedly remembered that one night when Uncle Jerry stopped by the Gala and shuddered. I didn't bring it up with Mom.

"You know Mom, it hasn't been the best couple of weeks," I said truthfully, sighing. "I don't know what's been going on with me honestly. The first week wasn't bad at all. My new friends Raine and Tristan were here for awhile and they made me forget about everything. I met them in Aruba. They've been family friends with Shane and his family since forever. We made this kick ass music video too." I laughed gently, remembering. "You would have loved it. I'm never happier than I am when I'm singing or performing. I've grown to love it so much."

"Well I know how to completely get off on a tangent," I laughed, Jeffey barked happily. "Anyway, the first week wasn't bad, but then I just fell into this depression. I've been having really weird nightmares, and I received some sketchy message in my locker. It all happened so fast, and I just didn't know how to take it. Not to forget that Shane's dead father has stumbled back into their lives. At first I was really skeptical of him because he slightly resembled a man in my nightmare, but now that I've gotten to know him I have a complete different outlook on him. But everything, I don't even know Mom. It was just a flunk I guess. It took me awhile to get pulled out of it, but I think I'm slowly recovering." I laughed bitterly. "It's been so much harder than I ever expected it to be. Every day I wait for you to come rushing through the door to tell me your back from Scarlett's. Then I have to painfully realize that that will never happen again."

I reached up and hastily brushed a tear from my cheek. "I know, I know, I need to stop crying. I didn't even notice I was. It's so hard though," I blubbered pushing my face in Jeffey's fur. I sniffed his delightful smell and found myself calming. "Opening night is at the end of next month, which is at the most a month or so away. I'm so nervous. Every time I think about it I feel sick to my stomach. I wish you would be sitting there opening night. It would make me feel so much better, but I understand."

"I think Valentine's Day is at the end of the week. I'm actually not quite sure. I don't keep up much with holidays, I never have. I completely forgot about my birthday this year, not a big surprise there. Tomorrow we start performing our original songs for class, and I just know that Jason is going to make me go first. I have absolutely no song prepared either. Nothing good has come to mind lately, I've been in a slump," I sighed pathetically. "I've never had a slump before and let me tell you that it just sucks righteously."

"Sorry that I'm talking your ear off here. I felt bad for not visiting since, you know," I mumbled. "I have no excuse but my own selfishness kept me from you. I disgust myself with how I've been acting lately. I'm not proud of it, and I know you wouldn't be proud of me. I am going to stop acting like a depressed little child when I have so many wonderful people surrounding me. You heard it from me personally Mom." I paused for a moment, staring at Mom's stone.

"So enough about me," I sighed setting the impatient puppy back on the ground, "how is everything going with you and Matthew?" I glanced to my brother's stone. "I bet you're so happy to be spending so much time with him. How is he? What's he like? Is he amazing? I bet he is. I'm jealous of both of you." Jeffey started barking at something behind me. I pushed him slightly to get him to stop. "He is a little rowdy. Apparently he doesn't get enough fresh air." I rolled my eyes as if they could see me. He continued barking. "Alright, I guess he's getting anxious. I suppose I should be going. Cait is probably freaking out because I never called her when I got here. I swear she's worse than you sometimes." I smiled sadly.

"Next time it won't take me so long to come around. I like having these talks with you," I said running my hand against the stone. "I love you Mom, you too Matthew."

I pushed myself off the ground and fell backwards a little bit from the slick ground. Someone's arms caught me easily. I turned around and gasped.

"H-hi, I didn't expect to see you here," I said uncomfortably wrapping my arms around my body.

Shane's dad Paul smiled down at me easily. "I know it is kind of out of character for me to be here, I guess. But I was just so curious, you know, after all this time of supposedly being dead. I wanted to see where I had ended up."

"I guess that's a reasonable excuse," I said tugging on Jeffey's leash to keep him from pouncing all over the smiling man.

"He is adorable," he said bending down to scratch Jeffey's stomach. "What's his name?"

"Jeffey."

He smirked. "Interesting name," he laughed standing back up.

Now I know before this would have been a bit of a scary surprise for me, but like I was telling Mom my idea about Shane's dad had completely changed over the past week I've gotten to know him. Yes the frightening resemblance of the man from my nightmares still kind of freaked me out, but all in all Paul was pretty stable for having been in captivity for three years. It surprised me how he could be so cool about it all, but I guess I didn't have much to say. My life hasn't been much better and I've managed to end up alright, save for some slight depression stupors.

"Would you care to walk with me?" he asked politely.

I shrugged. "Sure, come on Jeffey," I said following Paul through the gravestones. Even though I'm not one hundred percent comfortable with Paul yet I've been working on it because I know it makes Shane happy.

I walked behind him staring aimlessly around at the other headstones wondering what their stories were, if people missed them, if anyone ever came to visit them. For some reason this realization made me sad, not everyone's family cared enough to come and have a talk with their lost loved ones. I sighed sadly running my hand against Charles T. Walker wondering how he was during his prime. It's a weird feeling to think of all these people that have been put to rest in this cemetery, and to think that they actually had a life before their death be it good or bad or indifferent.

"This is kind of surreal," Paul spoke drawing me out of my sad thoughts. He was hovering over something in the ground. He motioned for me to look. I stepped over a small assortment of goodies to stand next to him. He was staring transfixed at the stone placed in the ground. It read Carl Paul Gray and listed his birth and supposed date of death. Underneath the inscription read of his honorable death for his country and how wonderful of a father he was.

"Yeah, it's almost kind of creepy," I said truthfully, staring at the words then moving to stare at the man looking at his own grave.

He laughed softly. "Yeah more than a little bit," he said bending down to run his hand over the engravings. "So, I feel like me and you started off on the wrong foot somewhat there Mitchie."

"Why do you say that?" I asked nervously, my eye noticing something peeking out from underneath his shirt. "Do you have a tattoo?"

He picked his head up to look at me curiously, then, as if remembering something, ran a hand over his shoulder blades. An almost childish grin appeared on his face. "Don't tell Stacey but when I was in POW camp all the men thought it would unite us, or something of that shit," he explained pulling down the collar of his jacket. I took a closer look at the blue ink. Two small wings with the name Stacey scrawled between them. My prior panic subsided instantly. It was nothing like the tattoo of the man plaguing my dreams, thank goodness.

He let go of the collar. "I, personally, did not want to get it done but the other captives practically forced me to get one 'so we would never forget where we ended up' my partner would always say," he said imitating his friend.

"I think it's sweet," I said earnestly. "Did everyone get one like that?"

"With their wife's name on our wings, no," he chuckled standing from his crouch. "I was the only one married out of the group. They all have some sort of variation of the wings though, symbolizes our service to the air force."

Without thinking I quickly searched through my memory wondering if I knew anyone, other than Paul, who would have been in the air force. No one in particular stood out plainly in my mind. I shook my head. My nightmares were just that nightmares. Something of the dark and sleepiness of the world. There was nothing real or potentially real about them. That's why dreams are dreams; they are no more than pure fantasy or, in my case, hell.

"What's on your mind Mitchie?" he wondered sounding so much like Shane it was scary.

I smiled shyly. "Stuff is always running through my head," I said somewhat truthfully."

"That what makes a great musician," he smirked.

"Too bad that's my problem lately, everything running through my head has nothing to do with a song or melody. And right now is when I need it most."

"Oh yes, Jason asked Nate last night if he was ready for originals. I'm assuming that means original song?"

"Yes," I laughed with him, "he instructed us all to compose a song that we would perform in front of class in this coming week. I have nothing."

"And yet I hear you are quite the spectacle with a guitar. Why don't you play a song you already have?"

I shrugged. "Everyone has already heard all the songs I've written. I want the one I play to be a real original, something no one's heard yet."

"I'm sure you will find the words for it somewhere, it sounds like you always do."

I liked how easily it was for me to converse with Paul. It was like talking to Shane just older – and I didn't want to jump his bones. "Thanks, I hope I do."

He smiled kindly, his eyes not as demeaning as the first night I saw them. "So who were you visiting out here?"

"My mother," I said with surprising ease.

His face glinted with pity for a second but then it was gone. "Stacey mentioned her unfortunate passing to me. I'm sure you are sick of answering this question but how are you holding up?"

"I have my days. Some are easier than the others, some are much harder."

He shook his head. "I can't imagine how it must have been for Stacey and my family. Come to find out that I also have another child, it's just surreal."

I nodded; it really was. "Keavy Rae takes a while to warm up to people."

"It's hard to think of what they must have went through thinking I was gone forever. I must say though I think it's almost harder for them now coming to terms with the fact that I am still alive."

"It's not something to easily change," I spoke picking Jeffey off the ground to cuddle him close.

He turned and smiled at me. "I appreciate how truthful you are being with me. Everyone else seems to skitter around me, yet you just tell it like it is."

"Nate calls it 'truthful regurgitation'," I chuckled.

His expression softened, a paternal look glazing over his eyes. "Stacey's told me how much you've changed Shane. I know it was hardest for him. I want to thank you personally for dragging my son out from the pit of hell. He's always been hardheaded and stubborn, but I see definite change in his attitude and demeanor. He's kinder, wiser, and more loving than ever I've seen him."

I hid myself in Jeffey's coat so I wouldn't have to reply. After a long pause of settled silence I spoke, "He's very happy that you are back. I see a new light in him that only a father can bring to a son's eyes. He missed you terribly, and I think I only dulled the pain. You returning erased all pain and aching, that's something I would never have been able to do."

"But what about you? Has he been able to dull your pain?"

I mulled over his question. "In a sense, I think he's made it extremely bearable for me to live life without my mother. I know that without him I would be in a much worse state than I was last week. When I look at him I see happiness."

He chuckled.

"What?" I asked curiously, wondering if it was too much to talk about Shane like this with his father. It was still freaking me out how easy it was for me to talk to him like this. I never really had a father figure to discuss matters like this with though, so that may be why.

"I think you have a new song in the making."

"W-what?" I asked then ran through the words I just said. "I'll see what I can do with it."

"That's the spirit," he said backing away from his stone. "Well I think I've seen enough of my death for one day. What do you say I drop you off at Caity's house?"

"That would be great."

* * *

"Mitchie, I swear, I was just about to come to the- oh hey Paul," Caity said as she charged out of the house.

Shane's dad waved from the driver's seat. "I offered to drive Mitchie home."

"Thank you," I said through the window. I gave him one last wave and wandered back into the house with Caitlyn huffing and puffing behind me.

As soon as the door was shut I knew the wrath of her was going to be unleashed. That's why I stopped her before she could get going. "Cait you need to stop being so worried about me every time I step out of the house. I can take care of myself for a little while if need be. Just stop freaking out if I don't call you every second of the day."

Obvious hurt crossed over my friend's pretty face. "I'm sorry; I worry about you all the time. I can't help it that I don't want you to get hurt anymore."

I softened somewhat. "Caity listen to me," I said grabbing her squarely by the shoulders, "I know you worry but you can't always be with me 24/7. Sometimes I need to do things on my own, if I get in trouble I will call."

"I know, I know," she sighed hanging her head. "At least text me once to make sure I know you're still there."

"Deal," I chuckled draping my arm around her shoulders.

We moved into the kitchen, laughing. "So," she said plopping down on a bar stool, "you know what I'm going to ask."

I rolled my eyes taking an apple out of the basket on the island. I crunched into it and chewed slowly just in spite of her.

"Mitchie," she whined.

I shook my head with a laugh. "I went to the cemetery, and as I was leaving I ran into him."

"What was he doing at the cemetery?" she asked, perplexed by the idea.

"He wanted to see where he was buried," I said with a laugh. "I get what he was saying; wouldn't you want to see where people laid you to rest if you were thought to be dead?"

"It's still kind of creepy," she shuddered.

"Yeah, I guess. Surprisingly though I had a really good talk with him."

"He's not as bad as we thought he was the first day we met him," she agreed. "I've actually had a couple good talks with him too. I can tell he was the father figure that anyone was able to go to. Mark was more of the head honcho."

"I know exactly what you mean," I laughed. "It was really nice to talk to him though."

"I think he will be a good figure for you," she said jumping off the stool to rummage through a cabinet over the microwave.

She returned to the island with a jar of peanut butter and a knife. "I like how you think my friend," I said cutting up the remainder of my apple.

She unscrewed the top of the jar and dunked an apple slice in. "So do you have a song written for class this week?" She munched on the delectable fruit.

I groaned. "Not a one, what about you?"

"I'm almost done. I just have to tweak some measures."

"Can I listen?"

"No one gets to hear until class time," she said pointedly snatching another slice from my hand.

I glared at her. "I have absolutely nothing," I complained taking the jar from her to lather my piece with peanut butter.

"Why don't you play one you already have?" she suggested.

"Everyone has already heard all the songs I've written though, what fun would there be in that?"

"Only Nate, Jason, and I have heard your songs. Everyone else in the class doesn't know how talented you are."

I stuck my tongue out. "Still, I'm going to write something new."

"I would get on it," she giggled. "I'm 99.7% sure that Jason will pick you first."

"Baah I know, he's gotta be a douche like that."

She slammed the peanut butter back down on the counter. "Well, I'm done. Nate and I are going out for dinner tonight. I must get ready. Come help?"

"Didn't the boy just leave you?" I asked with a snicker. I bent down at my feet, Jeffey wandered back in. I placed the last peel in his greedy mouth, ruffled his fur, and ran up the stairs after my friend.

Her voice floated out from her room, already in the thick of her walk-in closet. "Today is our two month anniversary and he wants to take me out. I'm not complaining at all."

"Aw two months," I cooed annoyingly flopping onto her bed. Jeffey followed suit and cuddled up next to me as we watched my best friend come in and out of the closet with outfit after outfit. "I can't believe people really celebrate month anniversaries. It's a bit superficial isn't it?"

"What did you and Shane do for your anniversary?" she asked rushing back into her closet.

I idly rubbed Jeffey's warm belly. "Honestly, I don't think anything."

She reappeared from the depths of her closet, an appalled look on her stressed face. "You didn't do anything? No dinner or movie or anything?"

"Not everyone needs to celebrate another month together," I laughed tossing a pillow at her.

"Well since Nate and I are heading out tonight, why don't you invite Shane over?"

"Because unlike you I don't need to be around my boyfriend every damn second of the day," I teased. Jeffey barked his approval.

"Whatever," she laughed emerging from the closet with yet another outfit on. "What do you think of this?"

She modeled off a mid-thigh tight deep wine colored dress with black tights disappearing into her mid-calf black heeled boots.

"Wear your white jacket with it," I instructed.

"So it's alright?"

"You look hot," I said scrambling off the bed. "Put your hair in a messy sexy bun and I think he will pass out when he sees you."

She nodded moving to the bathroom to make her face and hair up. I took my perch on the counter watching her sweep her hair off her face.

"Where is he taking you?" I wondered slightly amused at how dressed up she was getting.

"He hasn't told me yet. He just said dress up," she stressed brushing some foundation over her cheeks and forehead.

"Why are you so stressed about this? It's just dinner."

"I don't know why I'm nervous," she said fumbling with her eye shadow.

I took the small case out of her shaking hands and proceeded to finish her makeup for her. "Love, it's just Nate. You've known him forever. What could possibly have you nervous?"

"Tonight just feels different. I feel like he has something to tell me."

I set down the eye shadow and picked up her eyeliner. "What would he tell you that has you freaking out of your mind?"

"That he wants to break up with me," she said sadly.

"Why in the world would Nate break up with you?" I demanded stopping my hand.

"I don't know, he's just been acting weird lately."

"Weird like how he was before he found out he had diabetes or a different weird?"

"I don't know. Earlier it just felt like he had something to tell me the entire time he was here but he never said anything. Am I freaking out for no reason?"

I chuckled lightly. "Caity, that boy is crazy for you. You definitely need to stop worrying." I picked up the mascara wand and coated her lashes. "Go have fun with him and try not to be a nervous wreck the whole time. If he breaks up with you I will see to it that his life is a living hell for the rest of the time I know him. Believe me, I can be hellish."

"I know you can," she smiled nervously.

I brushed her cheeks with blush and added some subtle gloss to his rosy lips. "You look positively stunning if I must say so myself," I said with a flourish.

"Thanks Mitch." She wrapped her thin arms around me.

"You need me anymore?" I wondered backing out of the bathroom.

She shook her head. "I think I'm pretty much ready."

I hugged her one more time. "I think I'm gonna go write me a song," I said flouncing out of her room.

"You're welcome to use my makeshift studio downstairs," she called after me.

"I think I'll head down there. See if I can get some inspiration," I yelled from my room grabbing Carley's case along with my song book. I passed by her room again and smiled. "You look great Cait. Have fun and tell me all about it when you get home. Love you!"

"Love you too! Make me a Grammy worthy song!"

All I could do was laugh. With Jeffey on my heels I clomped down the stairs, took a left and wandered through the kitchen where Owen and Carmen were making dinner.

"Hungry Mitchie? I know Caitlyn's going out but that doesn't mean I can't still make a delicious dinner," Carmen grinned as her daughter walked into the room.

"I'm not hungry at the moment but maybe later. I'm going to go downstairs and use the piano and maybe my guitar," I added. "I haven't decided what I want to use yet."

"Well if you get hungry holler up the stairs. I'm making Mexican casserole."

I nodded and disappeared down the basement stairs. My hand sought out the light on the wall instantly illuminating the room littered with instruments and sheet music. Caitlyn was one of the most unorganized musicians I knew.

I moved aside some of her haphazardly strewn papers and settled myself on the piano bench. For a moment I just sat there hearing some distant music fill my mind. My eyes fluttered shut as I placed my fingers atop the smooth, cool keys.

"Speak to me," I instructed the piano.

My writing seems a little out of the ordinary, or at least odd, but it somehow has worked for me before. I would get this itching inside of me that I couldn't shake. It's one of those feelings where you just know something is brewing beneath the surface. Trying to uncover it is one of the hardest things about it though. It's there, just below all the thoughts, worries, and dreams. It was there; I can feel it.

Setting aside everything running wild in my mind, I relaxed allowing the music to flow out of me. Simply at first my fingers chose out single notes, plinking them one by one to get a sense of the sound. I played different notes, different combinations, different tempos until I found one that sounded even remotely harmonious. I played the melody over and over. The same eleven notes over and over, speeding up the tempo, making it louder, bringing the tempo down. I was beginning to hear something.

A rush blew over me. I groped for some blank sheet music and furiously began scrawling out the notes before I forgot them. My hand flew across the paper filling up measure after measure. I soon began humming along to the music playing with different words. Nothing sounded right though.

I took my hands off the piano and jumped off the bench. Sometimes when I was having trouble putting words to music I paced or sat still for a really long time just waiting for something miraculous to pop up.

I grabbed Carley off the floor and walked around the room aimlessly. I felt myself reflecting on the time I'd spent at the cemetery today talking with Mom and Matthew and talking with Paul.

"Ugh I need inspiration," I grumbled to myself.

I started playing my melody on Carley testing out the sound on a guitar. Even though it sounded beautiful, the piano was no match for this melody. Somewhat bitterly I sang, "Everybody needs inspiration. Everybody needs a song. Damn right I need a song. A damn good song by tomorrow too."

Something clicked in me. Inspiration washed over me. I rushed back to the piano and began adding words to the music I already had on the paper. It felt like hours later that I was adding a second and third verse to the song that was currently taking control of all my thoughts. I pounded away at the piano my voice belting along with the freshly written words. It wasn't perfect by any means. I would find a better word or a better chord to use and scratch out whatever I'd had there before. Soon enough my sheets were becoming barely legible. I decided to get up and see if there were more sheets hidden in Caity's desk somewhere. That's when I noticed a certain dark haired boy sitting complacently on the bottom of the stairs.

I screamed so loud. He was in front of me in a second silencing my scream with a scorching kiss from his delicious lips. The first moment he pulled away I managed to get out one question before he was on me again. "How long?"

He barely removed his lips from my tingling ones answering, "For about the entire time."

My eyes bugged out. I backed up so I could look at him. "You've been here for over an hour?"

"You haven't actually been going at it for an hour yet," he said checking his watch. "You work remarkably fast."

"It hasn't been an hour since I've been down here?" I wondered, not understanding how time had flown by so fast but not really at all.

"Well maybe a little over an hour but not much more than that," he answered with a deep throated chuckle.

My stomach jumped pleasantly. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"You looked like you were in the zone," he said jokingly stepping around me heading toward the piano. "It seems you can accomplish a lot when you are in the zone."

"Stop saying it like that," I laughed walking to Caity's desk to get more sheet music before I forgot why I'd gotten up in the first place.

"In the zone," he said again using over exaggerated hand motions.

He had me doubling over with laughter. I sat back down at the bench and rewrote my song onto the clean paper. He dropped down beside me, his thigh rubbing up against mine quite intentionally. My leg burned. I closed my eyes for a second to compose myself.

"So this song," he began, hand rubbing up and down my thigh, "I know I always say it, but this one is the best one yet."

"You always say that," I laughed. "I don't know how I'm going to keep being able to live up to the high standards you're setting for me."

"You will figure it out," he said nudging me with his shoulder.

I laughed quietly. "Jason is having the entire class write their own songs and then perform them in front of the class. This is my last minute song because I had nothing else to use."

"You wrote this all just now?" he said completely impressed.

"Well yeah."

He shook his head with a laugh. "You're incredible. Jason's going to love it."

"There's one problem though," I started my hands returning to the keys, "I think he meant for us to write a song with the guitar. Since I am in a guitar class and everything. But I don't think this song would song right with just a guitar."

"What are you imposing Miss Torres?" he wondered playfully.

I bit my lip expectantly. "Well…"

* * *

**thoughts? reactions? what do you think? im already writing the next chapter so hopefully it wont take me three years to update. i cant promise anything though. any ideas on how you would like the story to turn out? i love reading about what you think. once again, thank you so very much. you all rock.**


	35. We Belong

**first off i just wanna say you all are amazing. second off im actually updating within month, more like almost a week! you should be very excited. but i have a feeling the next chapter may take a little longer. but i think this one will tide you over till then. :) all of you smitchie fans should be very excited for this chapter. also an interesting conversation between mitchie and caitlyn. hopefully you like it! thank you again for making me want to continue writing this story. i had so much fun writing this chapter. a lot goes on, but its all on the same level, i guess? you will just have to read and see!! its rather long so enjoy my lovely readers. this is all for you.**

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* * *

Chapter Thirty-Five: We Belong**

_**We belong to the light**_

_**We belong to the thunder**_

_**We belong to the sounds of the words**_

_**We've both fallen under**_

**We Belong: Pat Benatar**

"Basically this is going to be an epic masterpiece," Shane stated after another hour of sitting at the piano putting the finishing touches on my new song.

"You like it?" I giggled covering the keys and pulling down the top.

"Like it? I love it!" he exclaimed shuffling my music into a stack. "Everyone is going to be blown away."

I smiled nervously. "I hope so."

I took one last look around the basement to make sure I gathered up everything that was mine. I grabbed Carley, turned off the lights, and headed for the stairs. I was a third of the way up them when Shane tugged on my arm, practically causing me to fall down rather tragically. He grabbed me by the face, gently shoving my back against the wall. Carley fell carefully from my fingers. They instead tangled their way through his hair while the other tugged harmlessly at his dog tags dangling around his neck.

I briefly caught sight of his eyes in the now dimly lit room. Undeniable passion illuminated the blue specks of his dark eyes. My breath caught in my throat unexpectedly as he swooped down taking my mouth in a fiery kiss. His arms snaked around my body trailing down my back to my waist. I shivered under his touch, his hands brushing away the hem of my shirt to touch the bare skin of my back. Something inside me I'd never felt before exploded. His hands were like fire on my skin, squeezing tightly, rubbing the soft skin tenderly.

An unexpected moan crawled out of my throat. My eyes fell to the back of my head not being able to comprehend how unbelievable this felt. I could feel his grin on my mouth, loving this reaction from me. Finding unbeknownst bravery in me, I allowed my hands to trail the length of his spine coming to rest at the bottom of his soft hoodie. Teasingly I played with the frayed ends of the hoodie causing him to groan with anticipation.

My head fell back with laughter. He took this as an opening and ducked his head to my neck. At first he placed gentle kisses leading all the way back to my ear. I thought that felt amazing but then he started tenderly nibbling at the skin and I all but forgot where I was. My fingers pushed aside his thick hoodie, gripping tightly to his warm skin as he continued to suckle my neck.

A burning passion of intense fire settled throughout my entire body; my muscles were singing with this new yearning, this new unbelievable desire. My mind was slowly being taken over by this unprecedented want.

My fingers ran over the tight contours of his back. They rippled out in pleasure as my light touch traced over the built muscles. He shuddered beneath my hands pulling off my neck to relish the sensation. I captured his lips back again, not liking having been separated for that long. Hungrily his mouth and mine fought together, melding into one. I never knew something could taste or feel this good. It was unimaginable; we couldn't get enough of each other.

Surprising him and myself, I forcibly – with gentleness – pulled him on me. Feeling all of him on me sent another wave of passionate craving over me. He groaned pleasurably as my nails dug into his back somewhat as a tease but mostly because my body was speaking for itself now. I was completely coherent of what I was doing but I couldn't stop even if I wanted too.

"Mitchie," he whispered my name huskily, one hand burning against my hip the other placed dormant on the wall holding him up so his entire body weight wasn't on me.

Personally I wouldn't mind having him all on me. "What?" I managed to force out through my breath-stricken lungs.

"I-"

"Mitchie, Shane, I have dinner set out for you," Carmen's voice shouted from the top of the stairs.

I gasped softly having all but forgotten there was a world outside of Shane Gray's lips and body. I looked up into his heavy-lidded eyes still full of want. "We were heading up now," I called back. "I was just turning off the lights."

"Hurry now don't want your food to get cold," she replied and shut the door again immersing us back in darkness.

I grinned, suddenly nervous, turning my attention back to my dark-haired boy. "Do you think?"

He shook his head easily, placing a kiss on my tired lips. "You didn't sound flustered at all," he said with an air of pride – wonderful, Shane was proud of me for not sounding like a dazed moron after what we just did. I don't know if I would call that pride or just pure luck.

I rolled my eyes, reluctantly taking my hands from out underneath his shirt to shove him off me playfully. He sighed sadly hanging his head like a little boy who just lost his favorite teddy bear. He took his hand off the wall, and I passed by to check myself out in the mirror hanging on the stairwell wall.

"You look beautiful," he murmured stepping up behind me to gather my sweaty hair in his hands.

"I don't look like I just went a round with a kick boxer?" I wondered half-heartedly. I did not want to draw attention to how disheveled we looked. One of Carmen's famous "sex" talks was not something I was trying to endure tonight.

He twisted me in his arms drawing me up for one more heart-stopping kiss. "Maybe a little bit but if they ask let me lie. You absolutely suck at it."

I scoffed, grabbed Carley, and made my way up the stairs again. "I'm glad I'm not a good liar," I said opening the door. "I don't need to lie unlike you."

He just chuckled behind me. I was tempted to look back and give him the glare of a century, but me tripping on the last step pushed that idea aside. I stumbled to stand and found the source of my fall.

The upstairs was completely bathed in black. "Carmen why is it so dark up here?" I asked worriedly, carefully walking across the linoleum floor to where I knew the table was positioned.

Out of nowhere a swipe sounded and a small flickering flame lit up the room. Carmen's beautiful face smiled at me from behind the candle she was lighting on the table.

My eyes caught sight of the table, laden with candles, roses, and bowls of food. "What is this?" I asked stepping up to the lavishly presented table.

Carmen continued to smile as she backed away from the table, exiting the room. My brows knitted together in confusion. What the hell was going on?

A folded paper sat atop a plate with my name on it. I unfolded the crisp white paper and read aloud, " 'Mo, if there's one thing I've learned about you these past months it's that you are practically nonobservant of the holidays. I find it hysterical really. If you haven't figured it out yet today is Valentine's Day. Will you do me the honor of being my valentine? xoxo Shane' I officially win the award for worst girlfriend ever," I stated looking up from the paper to see Shane on the other side of the table grinning at me. "You could have at least reminded me."

"Oh don't get all pissy now," he joked. "Look at this delicious dinner I made us."

"You made all this?" I said with more disbelief than intended.

He didn't seem bothered by my tone at all. He just kept grinning like that fool he was.

"When did you have time to do all this?"

"Well do you remember when I said I'd been sitting down there for an hour," he said aimlessly, pulling the chair out for me to sit in. "Yeah, well, I lied."

"Not a surprise there," I said laughing, my stomach growled at the sight of all the bowls filled with appetizing looking food.

He kicked my foot playfully under the table. "I really had only been down there for ten minutes or so. I was up here with Carmen getting stuff together."

"You out do yourself every single time," I smiled sweetly at him. "You know you don't have to keep flattering me like this. I'm not going anywhere."

"I do nice stuff for you because I love seeing that smile on your face," he said reaching across the table to touch my cheek caringly.

I frowned despite how thoughtful this gesture was. "I didn't get anything for you."

"You being here with me is all I need."

Damn him and his smile. Even though I wasn't about to tell him, I was quickly constructing an epically awesome idea. Now all I needed was for him to leave and Caity to come back home.

"Don't think too hard," he mused holding his hand out for my plate. I surrendered it but not without a characteristic glare.

"So what are we having, mac and cheese?"

"I seriously thought about it but Carmen said we needed to eat a grown up dinner for Valentine's Day," he pouted adorably, scooping something delicious smelling onto my plate. "So I made us some baked pasta with lots of cheese."

"A step up from macaroni," I giggled taking the steaming plate back from him. "Garlic bread too and the good kind at that." I eagerly grabbed at the basket of homemade bread. "Shane this is so perfect. Thank you for everything."

"I almost forgot," he said jumping from his seat. I took a moment to admire the layout he had fixed up all by himself – although I'm sure he had some help from Carmen. Three big red candles adorned the center of the table bathing everything in a flickering soft glow. Along with another vase of beautiful red roses, some of the petals were strewn on the table with precision. Everything looked perfect.

Out of nowhere a handful of flowers were shoved in my face. Shane stood above me holding out my favorite flowers – orange lilies. I took them from him and inhaled their wonderful scent. Tears of happiness filled my eyes that I couldn't seem to stop. "You're incredible you know that," I sighed rising from my chair to wrap my arms around his neck. "Thank you so much for everything you do for me."

"I love you," he murmured tenderly.

My spine tingled as did my brain. Anytime he combined the words 'I love you' with his melodic voice and smoldering eyes I felt faint. "I love you too. Happy Valentine's day baby."

He smiled as I reached up to touch my lips to his. "You too sweetheart."

* * *

"So everything before was just an act?" I demanded of my very best friend in the entire world who was currently doubled over in laughter on my bed.

She nodded continuing her annoying laugh.

"So you really aren't having problems with Nate?"

She shook her head holding her hand over her mouth to suppress her giggles.

I glared. "Maybe you should take my spot in the musical. You certainly had me fooled. Was it even your anniversary then?" I grumbled flipping through my songbook.

"No," she snorted. "It was just so easy for you to believe me. Shane was right; you had no idea. Were you pleasantly surprised?"

"Yes very and since you're having so much fun making fun of me I'm not going to tell you what happened tonight."

This instantly caught her attention. She sat up and scooted to me, resting her back against the headboard. "Please do tell me oh so bestest friend in the whole entire world," she begged pushing her hands in my face.

"Tell me something first, there honestly aren't any problems with you and Nate?"

She smiled secretively. "He told me he loved me tonight," she squealed not being able to keep it in anymore.

"Ah! Cait that's amazing!" I said pulling her into a hug. "I'm taking it as a no then."

"Everything is so perfect right now," she smiled elatedly. "I haven't been happier."

"Alright good," I smiled. "I'm still mad at you though for lying to me. You really had me worried that Nate was being a douche."

"Nope he's great!" she proclaimed. "Now please tell me all about your evening and don't even dare to leave one part of it out."

I rolled my eyes as she lay down on my bed, hands under her chin, her big eyes staring up at me thoughtfully. "Well I have a song ready for tomorrow."

"Can I hear?"

"No! It's got to be a surprise," I said shoving her playfully. "I personally love it though. It's extremely personal. I'm kind of scared to do it in front of class."

"They will love it anyway. You know we won't judge."

I smiled. "I know. Anyway, Shane came down scaring the absolute hell out of me. And we played the piano for a little while. Then we were heading upstairs." I paused, my body tingling from the memory. "Well, we uh, we kind of made out, a lot."

She squealed as if this was some really exciting news. "I'm sensing you two don't do this a lot," she laughed after she'd calmed down.

I shrugged nervously. "Is it that obvious?"

"Mitch you two have only been dating for a month or so. You've got plenty of time to work up to the other stuff," she giggled.

"Believe me I'm nowhere even close to being ready for that," I said making a face. "Like you said we've only been dating for a month that's way too fast. But is it natural for me to feel like I want to?"

She smiled gently. "That just means you two have obvious chemistry together, which I'm sure any seeing person could have told you two that."

"Is that how it is for you and Nate? Ew, actually, never mind. I don't want to know that answer to that," I quickly regretted, a picture of my two best friends swirling through my brain.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be so childish. We're best friends we need to be able to talk about this stuff. It's better than talking about it with my mom," she laughed heartily. "I mean honestly, I love the woman to death, but talking about my intimate relationship with Nate with her is just weird."

"Your right," I agreed. "Well then, how 'intimate' is your relationship with Nate? That still sounds weird coming from my mouth."

Her cheeks turned a soft red.

I gasped. "Caitlyn Marie Gellar! You did not!"

"No, no, no, not that!" she shouted at me then quickly hushed my laughter. "Lord Mitch, we've only been dating a month longer than you and Shane. Give me some credit here."

I smiled. "I was just wondering, I didn't really believe it. I mean we are seventeen, it's supposed to happen sometime isn't it?"

She shoved me. "I can see you've been thinking about it way too much. Nate and I have talked about it. We're going to wait until we're both comfortable and ready."

"Well aren't you two the picture perfect couple," I gagged earning another push from her.

Our laughter joined together waking the sleeping puppy at the foot of my bed. Jeffey yawned and shook out his tired limbs, climbing up to sit in my lap.

"We aren't going to rush into anything we will regret later," she explained further scratching behind the puppy's ear.

"I hate how you two are just so in tune with each other," I said for lack of better word. "I mean, what Shane and I have is great, it's actually more than great really. I just feel like things with us are so much more _intense_ than you and Nate."

She laughed loudly making Jeffey bark at her. "Sorry puppy," she cooed scratching his belly now. "I'm sorry Mitchie, but honestly look at how Nate is and then look at Shane. Yes they are related, but they are both their own different person. Nate is more of the quieter, really focused type. Can you honestly see Nate being intense?"

I covered my eyes with my hand. "I do not need that image imbedded in my mind along with all the other ones conjuring up there with you two," I stated bluntly shaking my head with disgust.

"See that's my point exactly," she giggled pulling my hand off my eyes. "Shane is older than Nate, and he's much more edgy. Let's put it this way, Nate is like the sensitive, sweet one while Shane is the intense, give it all he's got type."

"Yeah, I guess you make a valid argument," I sighed picking up Jeffey to snuggle him with my face.

"What's wrong? You seem like you're worrying about this too much," she said picking herself off the bed to sit next to me against the headboard.

"Not really worrying about it, more like just thinking about it constantly," I said my eyes drifting off the ceiling.

"You've so fallen hard for this boy," she said amusedly. "You should know the kissing is the best part of it."

"Believe me," I chuckled, "it's pretty far up there on my list of things I love about Shane Gray."

"You have a list?" she exclaimed. "Oh you have got to name off this list for me."

"No," I laughed setting Jeffey back down on the bed. "You will just make fun of me for it. I've had enough embarrassing moments for one night. I forgot to tell you that you're mom almost saw Shane and I earlier. She called us up to dinner and we were at the bottom of the stairs just off to the side. I hope she didn't see anything. That would be so embarrassing."

Caitlyn rolled her eyes at me. "Mom isn't going to get mad unless you're doing something you're not supposed too," she laughed nudging my shoulder.

"I don't know," I laughed with her. "I don't know what would have happened if she hadn't called us when she had."

Her eyes widened exponentially. "I didn't know that this was as serious as you were implying."

"I don't think you understand Caity," I started trying to find the words to say to her. "When I'm with him, I can't think of anything else but him. All I want to do is be near him and hear him talk and just touch him. And when we kiss, it's unexplainable. I wish I could tell you how I feel but I just don't know how to put it into words."

She smiled at me all best friend like. "You know you're not crazy for feeling like this right? You're supposed to feel this way. It means that whatever you and Shane have is real. You give me goose bumps talking about it like that."

I rolled my eyes. "I feel stupid talking about it, but it's you. I just, I don't know. I have no words."

"Have you told him how you feel?" she wondered playing with the ends of her hair.

"He knows I love him," I said obviously.

"But have you told him like you just told me?"

I thought about it. "I don't think so."

"This is what I think," she began, "I think that since you two started off with such a strong connection that you kind have lost the middle section of falling in love over a long period of time. You know what I mean? I know you can't put a time limit on how long it takes to fall in love with someone, but with you and Shane and I feel like it all happened so fast. You two know you both love each other, but does he know how deeply your love runs?"

"So," I said slowly trying to sink all her words in, "you're saying that I need to explain to him why I love him and that will somehow make something better? I'm so confused Caity."

She laughed at me. "I guess that didn't make much sense now that I think about it, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that basically what you and Shane have right now is an extreme amount of sexual tension between you two. You're both so attracted to each other, and it's all that pent-up attraction you have that's making you want him so bad."

"I feel like a tramp or something," I said burying my head in my hands.

"Mitchie," she said gently taking my hands again, "it's completely natural. I mean come on, anyone in their right mind is going to be attracted to Shane. Don't think just because you feel a pull to want him doesn't make you a bad person or something. It's the natural way of life."

"When did you become so philosophical my curly-headed friend?" I laughed hugging her close to me.

"It's Nate, he's rubbing off on me I think," she laughed then added, "not literally."

I busted out laughing at her innuendo. "You know how much fun we're going to have using innuendos now about everything."

"I'm already forming a list in my head," she said hopping off my bed.

"Hey," I called at her retreating back, "will you help me with something?"

"Of course," she smiled.

* * *

School went well today. Rehearsals went even better. Our voices were sounding better every day, and I think M was positively glowing that her production was coming along so well. Now that the music was pretty much down, we would have to start really focusing on memorizing lines and cues and all that fun acting stuff.

Caitlyn, Nate, and I were on the way to our guitar lesson via Shane. They were all talking animatedly about rehearsals today. Caity has become one of the head production aids to M. She helps with the lighting, directing in the actors, placement of music, and everything I have no clue about. She's miraculous at it though, and I'm proud of her for doing so well.

I turned in my seat giving her a smile. She raised her eyebrows playfully, eyes flitting to Shane in the driver's seat. I shook my head knowing what she was wondering.

"What are you two signaling about?" Nate wondered curiously gazing intently between Caity and I.

"Nothing you need to know about Nathaniel," I said sarcastically.

He glared at me, a playful gleam in his brown eyes. "I'll figure it out sometime," he said glancing to his girlfriend.

"Pah, if you think you're getting anything out of me you're crazy," she laughed giving me a fist pump.

"Hoes over bros," I added making a face at Nate.

"You two are cheery today? Are you guys ready for your big solos?" Shane asked pulling into JJ Records parking lot.

Nate nodded excitedly while Caity looked more nervous. "Cait you do have a song right?" I wondered with a laugh. I'd never thought to ask my friend if she'd written anything for today – some friend I am.

"I have a song," she proclaimed. "I'm just not as open as you two are about singing music in public."

"You'll do great," Nate whispered to her, placing his forehead against hers.

I moved back to the front not wanting to intrude on their private moment. I caught Shane staring at me out of the corner of my eye. "What?" I asked with a laugh.

"Are you ready for this?" he wondered cutting off the engine.

"Ready as I'll ever be. This is probably the most personal song I've written, so it should be interesting if I will be able to get through it," I said softly.

His smile turned up on one side making it hard for me not to let my worries wash away. "Just sing like you're singing only to me."

Too bad that was my only problem. The entire song was about him, and I don't know if I'm ready for my entire class to know how I feel back him. Plus I was a little nervous on how Shane would take it. Yeah, he helped me with the music and all, but I don't really think he got it through his thick skull that I wrote this song completely about and for him. I sighed, stupid boys and their stupid dumb minds.

I jumped out of the car, grabbing Carley from the trunk. Jason was waiting for all of us at the door. He hugged each of us respectably. "Didn't expect to see you here Shane?"

"I thought I would crash your little jam session. I haven't heard Nate's damn song yet because he won't let _anyone_ hear it," he said dramatically. "So I'm a little curious. Plus I always love to hear the girls sing."

Caitlyn smiled numbly. I could tell she was freaking out, so I took it upon myself to be the best friend that I was. "You want to come warm up with me?" I asked her.

She nodded readily.

"We will be in the studio in fifteen minutes or so," I said as we ran up the stairs heading to the very back room with all the instruments.

As soon as we were inside Cait slumped into a chair sighing heavily. "I don't know if I can do this Mitchie. I'm not as down with the performing thing as you are."

"You performed with us in the music video, and you did so well," I said reassuringly taking Carley out of her case.

She extracted her own guitar. "That was with a big group of people though. Here it's just me and my guitar. I don't know if I can do it."

"What are you really worried about?" I wondered reading through the crap she was currently feeding me.

"What if Nate doesn't like how I sing? I will be so embarrassed," she said hanging her head dejectedly. "Nate can't date a girl that doesn't know how to sing."

"Caitlyn," I said bending down to her eye-level, "you listen to me alright? You are a brilliant singer, and if you think the only reason Nate is with you because you sing you're more ridiculous than I am."

She giggled. "Yeah I guess you're right. I'm just so nervous. I've never felt this nervous before."

I ran my hands over Carley's strings. I'd never felt more ready for this than right now. "Want me to give you a sneak peek?"

"Yes!" she squealed watching my fingers intently.

"I'm just kidding, I'm not going to give away my masterpiece yet," I laughed.

"Oh so now you're calling it a masterpiece, a little cocky are we?" she said nudging my guitar with her foot lightly.

"Get your nasty feet away from Carley!" I shouted.

"What are you two doing in here?" asked Jason appearing at the door.

We jumped at the sight of him. "We were just getting warmed up."

"Well we're starting class soon. Nate's already volunteered to go first, so that means I can volunteer you for second Mitchie," he said with a smirk.

"What about Caitlyn? Maybe she wants to go after Nate," I said hopefully.

"Yeah right, you think I want to go after either of them," she scoffed, standing. "You must be crazy. I think I'll opt for a spot next lesson."

"Thanks so much," I said through gritted teeth.

"I thought you wanted to go today," she smiled following Jason out of the room.

"I do but I'm going to have to live up to whatever stroke of genius Nate's created. I'd rather not," I said following the two of them into the room across the hall.

The classroom was already crowded with all my classmates. They smiled nervously at me as they went over their notes and music in their heads. I sighed; this may be harder than I thought.

Jason clapped his hands together, the class immediately hushing. "Alright class, welcome to our opening night of original song week!" he said enthusiastically. He received a half-hearted applause. "Oh come on people, you can't all be this nervous. You are all exemplary musicians. To start us off, my very own cousin, Nate Black!"

Everyone gave him a polite applause as he took his guitar and headed to the front of the class. Caitlyn sat up straighter next to me. I laughed at her. I noticed that he held his electric guitar in hand instead of the acoustic one everyone else had in class.

"Hey I didn't know we were allowed to pretend we were at a rock concert?" I called out as the lights dimmed overhead, a single spotlight landing on Nate.

Laughter rang from my classmates mouths. Nate glared playfully at me. "Oh I heard you've broken the rules too Mitch, so don't get me started," he laughed plugging up the guitar to an amp.

I caught sight of my dark haired boy lingering in the shadows with Jason. He had blabbed about our surprise to Nate, oh he was going to get an earful later.

Nate grabbed the microphone. "Alright everyone, I'm Nate and I'm playing an original song called 'Conspiracy Theory'."

Another collective bout of clapping before we quieted down and awaited the stunning piece I was sure would come. The guitar started first, a rock'n'roll type of feel coming from the guitar. The class already loved the music, clapping along to the rock tune. I hooted my approval.

"Conspiracy theory," he sang with the mix of his rocker voice and his usual singing voice, "better keep it down. Cause the walls are thin and the word is out now. Like it or leave it. Don'tcha make a sound cause the walls are thin and the word is out now."

"It's better that you didn't know. Better that they didn't show us why. Why we need to live in fear knowing that the threats are real this time."

"I could listen to him sing like this all day," Cait swooned slightly, heading bopping along.

I nodded my agreement. Nate always knew how to stun people into silence with his mesmerizing voice. His guitar playing was impeccable. I only wished I could be half as talented as he was. The bridge music was ridiculously awesome. He was really rocking out now, screaming like he was a legit rocker. Everyone loved it.

"Conspiracy theory gonna make you shake. Don't hit the brakes no time to waste now. Like it or leave it. Better hit the road cause the world as we know it gonna fade away now."

Another amazing guitar solo. I was blown away by how talented he was. I know I'm repeating myself, but I just don't understand how he's so good. And I have to go after him, my nerves were pretty much shot after this performance.

"It's better that you didn't know. Better that they didn't show us why. Why we need to live in fear knowing that the threats are real this time."

He sang another verse and ended with the chorus and a standing ovation by the entire class. Caitlyn and I screamed are love for the song louder than anyone else in the room.

"Thank you," he said humbly jumping off the small platform and heading to the open seat next to Caitlyn.

"You did so good!" she squealed hugging him before he could even sit down.

"Thank you Cait," he smiled only for her, placing a very tender kiss on her lips.

I couldn't help the blush that crossed over my cheeks; they were just so precious together.

"Awesome job Nate!" Jason clapped coming to the microphone. Everyone continued to clap with him giving Nate one of the loudest applauses I ever heard. "Alright, alright," he laughed shushing everyone. "Who would like to take the stage after that performance?"

The room instantly fell silent, everyone looking from one another seeing who was brave enough to follow-up Nate Black. A feeling of dread landed in my stomach. Jason's gazed landed on me, a huge smile on his face.

"Oh don't even say it, I'll go," I said standing up before he could make some smartass comment about picking me. I left Carley at my seat telling Caity to keep an eye on her. She looked at me oddly, wondering why on earth I wouldn't be using her. I acknowledged Shane with my head. He walked out from the darkness, guitar strapped around his built shoulders. I momentarily let myself drift back to the basement, a pleasant tingle of delight traipsing down my spine.

I grabbed at the microphone pulling it along the stage to where the piano sat in the corner. "I know that we were supposed to write a song for the guitar, and well I did but I also added the piano. I'm going to play the piano, and I've roped in Shane to play the guitar for me," I said gesturing to him as he pulled up a chair next to the piano. My eyes widened as he sat right next to me.

"I thought it would be better if we played next to each other, not across the room," he murmured touching my back lightly.

That light touch was just enough to send me over the edge. I sat down on the cold piano bench, mind reeling with images of Shane's lips. I had to literally shake my head to rid the images. _Focus on the song Mitchie_, I told myself.

"Okay," I said situation the microphone so it would reach to where I was sitting, "hey everyone, I'm Mitchie."

Shane snorted next to me as everyone else echoed the hello. He rang his fingers expertly over the strings before nodding his ready.

"Everyone say hi to Shane," I said just in spite of him.

"Hi Shane," everyone chorused perfectly.

I smiled. He waved adorably at everyone.

"This is an original song I wrote, 'When I Look At You'," I said and took my mouth away from the microphone. I took a big breath and nodded at Shane.

He started the strumming of the simple chords and I chimed in with the melodic background of my piece. I felt the music course through me, the words on the tip of my tongue just waiting to be sung.

"Everybody needs inspiration," I sang into the microphone. "Everybody needs a song. A beautiful melody when the night's so long. Cause there is no guarantee that this life is easy. Yeah, when my world is falling apart. When there's no light to break up the dark. That's when I, I, I look at you." My voice carried throughout the room eerily. "When the waves are flooding the shore and I can't find my way my home anymore. That's when I, I, I look at you."

"When I look at you, I see forgiveness. I see the truth," I said catching Shane's eye. "You love me for who I am. Like the stars hold the moon. Right there where they belong and I know I'm not alone."

Shane's gaze held mine fiercely. He strummed the guitar with ease, not even having to look down to check his fingering. Our eyes were glued in this intense yet elective stare. Something shot through me and I pounded on the keys harder for the chorus. "Yeah, when my world is falling apart. When there's no light to break up the dark .That's when I, I, I look at you." I found myself smiling, enjoying the way Shane looked at me, with so much love, compassion, and pride. I tore my eyes away from his, closing my own allowing the music to completely overcome me. "When the waves are flooding the shore and I can't find my way home anymore. That's when I, I, I look at you."

Softer, more delicate. "You, appear, just like a dream to me. Just like kaleidoscope colors that," I sang my voice gaining momentum. "Cover me, all I need every breath that I breathe. Dontcha know? You're beautiful," I belted out.

The guitar outshone the piano, as Shane played the solo I'd written. "Yeah, yeah," I added to spectacular solo. "When the waves are flooding the shore and I can't find my way home anymore. That's when I," I said looking to Shane, "I look at you. I look at you. Yeah, yeah. Oh, oh. You appear just like a dream to me," I finished off whispering into the microphone.

I opened my eyes to a standing ovation and enormous applause. Caitlyn was jumping up and down tears streaking down her rosy cheeks. I felt myself choke up at the sight of her. His hand rested on my shoulder gently. I turned to him, tears in my eyes. What surprised me even more was seeing tears form in his beautiful blue/brown eyes that I loved so much.

"You wrote this for me didn't you?" he breathed intensely, eyes searching mine for some sort of answer.

I pushed the microphone away from my face so the entire class wouldn't hear our exchange. "Who else would I have written it for?" I wondered a tear falling from my eye.

He brushed it away, his hand lingering on my face. I closed my eyes at the gentle touch feeling more tears about to break through. "You have no idea how much this means to me. This is better than anything else in the world," he sighed.

A shadow fell over us. We looked up and saw Jason hovering. "Mitchie that was beyond amazing," he said scooping me off the bench to give me a huge hug. "If you want, take a couple minutes to regroup."

"Actually," I said looking back at Shane to make sure he wasn't listening, "could I go use Studio A? I have something I want to give him."

Jason looked at his cousin then back at me.

"Oh my God Jason, nothing like that," I said finally understanding the look he was giving me.

"Just making sure, you can never be positive on what teenagers want to give each other anymore," he said releasing me from his hug. "I'm really proud of you."

"Thanks," I said sniffing back another set of tears. "I'm going to go talk to Caitlyn real quick."

He nodded and moved the microphone back to center stage. "Everyone give it up one more time for Mitchie!"

I smiled and waved as I made my way to Caity. She wrapped her arms around me as soon as I was in arms length. "I'm beyond speechless," she muttered in my ear.

"Thank you," I said. "I'm going to go give Shane what I made him now."

She pulled back a smile playing on her lips. "Tell me how he likes it," she whispered stepping back so Nate could engulf me in a hug of his own.

"And you thought it was going to be hard to follow me. I wouldn't want to be the next person going up there now," he laughed hugging me tightly.

I smiled softly. "I only learn from the best."

Nate's eyes cast to something to the left. I looked with him and saw Shane leaning up against the wall. "Go take care of him." He smiled.

"Caity told you?" I laughed.

"You're not mad are you; she was just so excited and couldn't keep it in."

"I'm not mad, I'm too happy right now to let anything else bother me," I stated.

He gave me one last squeeze. "Go," he murmured pushing me toward the exit.

More applause followed me to the door, but I was only focused on the gorgeous boy leaning against the doorframe. I walked right up to him, grabbing his hand. "Come with me," I said quietly.

A smile played on his face and obeyed. I tugged him out of the room drifting away from the chatter and pulling him into Studio A. He closed the door behind him and was on me within seconds. I never knew I could be filled with so much passion and love as I was at this moment. I had to tear myself away from his delicious lips so I could tell him why I'd brought him here.

"Shane," I breathed holding his face captive in my hands, "I brought you in here for a reason but not for that."

He pouted.

"Well maybe after," I said as an afterthought, "but first things first." I backed away from him grabbing something out of my back pocket.

"What is this?" he asked snatching the CD from my hands.

"Put it in and you'll find out," I said playfully sitting down in a swivel chair.

Eyebrows rising, he walked over to the control board, popped in the disc, and pushed a couple buttons. He sat down on my lap, waiting. I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek to his tight back.

My voice soon filled the speakers. "Hey Shane, this is Mitchie if you didn't know." My voice echoing through the stupid lamely. I dug my face into his back further hiding my embarrassment. "Well you know how I forgot about Valentine's Day completely, this is what I decided to give you to make up for it. If you're still wondering what it is, with the help of Caity I recorded all the songs I've written so far. Caity is surprisingly really skilled with this recording stuff, good thing because I would have had no idea. Well with further ado, here is your very exclusive first album of Mitchie Torres. I love you baby."

My intro faded out and my first sing I ever sang him filled the studio, 'Believe In Me'. He stood up as the chorus ended, clicking the pause button. He turned to face me, and I finally saw the tear tracks lining his face. I was out of my chair faster than he could blink, wrapping my arms around his middle again, burying my face into his chest this time.

His arms encircled my body. "This is the best present I've ever gotten, words can't even tell you how I am feeling right now," he blubbered into my hair.

I lifted my head off his chest. "Shane Gray are you really crying?"

"I'm so emotional right now I can't stand it," he cried wiping at his tears furiously. "Are all your songs really on there?"

I nodded. "Even the one I played tonight. That was more difficult than I thought. I didn't let Caity here it so I had to wait until she went to bed to record it. It's just the piano version though. I'm not good at adding other instruments to it yet."

He ceased my jabbering with the softest kiss he's ever laid on my lips. "Mitchie, I don't know where I got so lucky with you. That song tonight, the words, are they all true?"

I nodded feeling my moment to lay my heart all out for him dawning. "Every single word of it is from my heart," I started. "I needed to find some way to tell you how much you truly mean to me. I feel like I haven't told you exactly what you mean to me."

"I know Mitch," he whispered brushing my hair out of my eyes.

"No Shane, just listen to me please," I said preparing myself. "I was having this talk with Caity the other day about how much you mean to me." He smirked. "Don't even ruin the moment," I laughed. "Anyway, we were having a conversation about how much you boys mean to us, and she asked me if I'd ever told you everything I was telling her. And I haven't."

I took a deep breath and continued. "For the longest time I've never had anyone to count on but myself, not even my mother. With her gone I thought it was going to be the end of the world. Some days it still feels like the end of the world, but I've found that life does go on even if she isn't here. I've accepted the fact that she's never coming, and I've come to terms with it. Yes, it kills me that she's not here but I'm dealing."

"You are the reason I'm able to get up every morning and face each new day without her," I said softly looking up into his deep eyes. "I honestly don't know how I would be dealing this well any other way. When I look at you I see everything that I've ever needed in my life, stableness, happiness, and above else love. I never ever knew that I would be able to feel this much for someone in such a short amount of time. Yet every day I feel myself falling more and more deeply in love with you."

"I can't even find all the words to tell you how much you exactly mean to me. There are not enough," I said taking a breath. I placed my hand on his wet cheek. "Shane Gray, I'm so glad I have you in my life. Without you I would not be where I am today. I want to thank you for always being there for me whenever I needed you. And above all, I want you to know I'm so madly in love with you that being away from you just for a couple minutes makes me sick to my stomach. I never want to lose this feeling for you ever."

We stared, lost in each other's eyes, for ages. "You just know how to render me speechless don't you?" he chuckled lightly running his fingers through my hair.

My smile stretched across my face. "I just wanted you to know how I felt," I said simply.

"Well do you know what I feel?"

"What?" I giggled as he touched his nose to mine.

"I feel like the luckiest guy in the entire world, and I've fallen so completely and madly head over heels in love for you that I don't know what I would do with myself if I couldn't kiss you every second of every day," he murmured melodically.

"Well what are you waiting for now?" I breathed.

* * *

**happy?? :) i love you all!! thanks for making this all happen.**


	36. My Life Would Suck Without You

**wow. so its been entirely way too long since ive last updated. and im so sincerely sorry for having been on hiatus for so long. ive had a couple rough months and writing was just not working out for me. but i knew i needed to get this chapter done eventually. its definitely not one of the best. but there will be more to come that will hopefully grab your attention much more. thank you all for reviewing and sending me messages reminding me to finish this story and just telling me how much you love it. you reviewers are why i continue this story. i just want to thank you all so much for all your encouragement and praise. you will never understand how much it truly means to me.**

**anyways, im not gonna sit here and continue to bother you when all you want to do is read this chapter. :) i hope it doesnt disappoint too many of you. but i promise i will be better at updating. just as long as there are still people around who would like to read my udpates. :) thank you again.**

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* * *

Chapter Thirty-Six: My Life Would Suck Without You**

_**Cause we belong together now, yeah**_

_**Forever united here somehow, yeah**_

_**You got a piece of me**_

_**And honestly**_

_**My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you**_

**My Life Would Suck Without You: Kelly Clarkson**

In my mind, I'd decided that that night was the night that finally put everything in perspective for me. I was finally able to come to terms with my mother's death. I finally realized that I had everything I ever needed in my life right in front of me. I also realized that I was completely in love with this boy Shane Gray – but I'd already mostly known that.

The intensity of our relationship was brought to our attention last night. I'd finally told Shane exactly how I felt about him, and the good thing is he didn't go running away afterwards. We shared some more words, and sat down together to finish listening to my record. To state it plainly, he was rather impressed with 'how amazing' – his words – I sounded. Hearing him say that to me put the icing on the cake for that day. And although we still have immense sexual tension, as Caity would say, we talked it through last night and decided we wouldn't do anything either of us would find uncomfortable.

That's where it gets tricky though. With him I never feel uncomfortable. To me that spells out trouble for us in refraining from things we would like to do.

I sighed, a chill rippling through my muscles. Every time I even remotely thought about doing stuff with Shane other than kissing a pleasant tingle traveled from my head all the way to my toes.

"Mitch," Caity said shaking me out of my daydream, "come on the bell just rang. It's time to go to lunch."

I nodded gathering up my books quickly.

Caity chuckled at me. "Where was your mind just now?"

I smirked, giving her a goofy smile. "You do not want to know," I laughed following her out of the classroom.

Caity caught on and made a face. It was so easy to bring this up with her now that I found terrorizing her about it more fun than I thought I would. We took a left and continued down the hall to where we usually met up with Nate and Shane. I spotted Shane all the way at the other end of the hallway, my mouth instantly turning up in a smile.

"Who is that he's walking with?" Caitlyn said as soon as another person appeared next to him.

I shrugged, my eyes narrowing to try and get a better look. He was busy talking to his companion to notice Caity and I heading toward him. As we drew closer I was able to see who he was talking too. She was tall, just a little shorter than Shane. Her long legs were rather exposed in a just above knee-length black skirt. She wore a tight white button up shirt, tucked into her waist high skirt. Her long blond hair was perfectly curled draping over her shoulders elegantly.

Her heels clicked loudly, echoing down the hallway. A bell-like laugh emitted from her laughing at something amusing Shane just said. I couldn't help but allow jealously seep through me.

"Who is that?" I echoed Caity.

"Oh her?" questioned Nate popping up on Caity's side. "She's the new senior English teacher. Remember the really pregnant lady that waddled around the hallways? Yeah, she finally had to be put on bed rest last week. She's filling in for the rest of the year."

Shane and his new teacher were almost to us now, still talking animatedly. "She does not look like a teacher," Caity said exactly what was on my mind.

They were right in front of us now. Shane glanced forward and caught us standing there. His face broke out into a smile as his eyes landed on me. My cheeks heated.

"Hey guys," he greeted leaving the pretty blonds side to wrap his arm around my waist. "Hi beautiful," he whispered to me planting a kiss on my hair.

I opened my eyes expecting blondie to be gone, but she was still hovering, smiling at all of us. I didn't know what to make of her yet. Shane noticed her still there and cleared his throat.

"Sorry guys, this is my senior comp teacher, Mrs. Jasper," he said nodding at the blond.

"It's Ms. Jasper," the blond spoke, her smile wider than ever. "Shane's told me all about you three. It's nice to finally meet you." Her eyes lingered on me, looking from Shane to I with a look I could not decipher.

The three of us nodded warily. She was too happy.

No one else said anything, an awkward silence settling over us. "Well, I guess I should head to the office. Need to copy some papers," she said brightly holding up a folder like we all wanted to know what she was doing. "I'll see you in class tomorrow Shane. Nice to meet you three again."

"See yah," he said casually turning us in the direction of the commons.

"So, does anyone else get a weird ass vibe from her?" Nate wondered taking Caity's hand in his.

I snorted. Oh Nate, how I love thee.

"Give her a break guys," laughed Shane. "It's her first week here. She's just out of college too."

We rolled our eyes. "Whatever you say Shane."

"She just is so perky," Caity continued as we walked into the loud commons searching for an open table. "Is she like that in class too?"

Shane steered us to a table against the back wall. "I guess," he shrugged. "She's very enthusiastic about everything."

"How does she already know about us?" I wondered pulling out a chair.

Shane sat down next to me. "She had us write a short paper about ourselves so she could get to know us a little better."

"And you wrote about us? I'm honored," Nate said holding his hand over his heart.

Shane shoved his cousin. "Oh shut up. I just wrote about how I usually spend my time playing music with my cousins and hanging out with my beautiful girlfriend and other girl friend."

I rolled my eyes. "You're so full of yourself," I laughed.

"What?" he joked.

"So anyway," Caity said, "who's ready for rehearsals?"

"What's today?" I wondered opening my brown bag.

"Lines," sighed Nate with a face.

"You're just upset because you suck at memorizing," Shane poked. "Have you memorized your lines for today?"

Nate glared at him. "I think I've honestly had this entire musical memorized after the first week M passed out our scripts," I said nonchalantly.

"Who's full of their selves now?" Shane laughed nudging my side.

I batted my eyes at him playfully. "I'm sorry you can't have as exemplary memorizing skills as me, although I expected more from you. You do write music and memorize those words."

"Someone's a bit rambunctious this morning," Nate stated digging into his spaghetti and meatballs.

"Kill me that I'm actually happy for once in my life Nathaniel," I drawled out.

Caity giggled hiding her smile behind her hand as Nate's glare met her. "It doesn't help that you're so grumpy this morning," she told her glaring boyfriend. She used her fingers to push Nate's frown up into a distorted smile. "Come on baby, what's the glum face for?"

"No, you got to do this one," Shane said reaching across the table to pull one end up. "Why so serious?"

I doubled over in laughter. "Creepy Joker face," I said through my laughter. "Stop it! He legitimately looks like the Joker right now."

Shane settled back into his seat. Nate continued to glare at us, but it was for touching his face instead of actually him being angry with us. He got so touchy feely sometimes that I found it hilarious.

"Natie you know I love you," I said sticking my finger into my open pudding cup. I licked the chocolate goodness off my finger and sighed. Why was chocolate pudding so heavenly?

For some reason Caity busted out laughing. I tilted my head, confused as to why she was laughing so hard. She subtly nodded her head to the right of me. I tilted my head to the other side and caught sight of Shane's clenched jaw. I looked back to her, then to Shane, and back down to my pudding cup and finally put two and two together.

"Oh," I muttered shaking my head at Shane. "Really?"

He grinned easily, brushing my hair off my face. "You do things you don't even realize that drive me crazy," he murmured in my ear.

My shoulders rose with a shudder from his breath on my ear. I turned my face, our eyes locking in an intent gaze. "Would you like some?" I asked flirtatiously, running my finger through the cool dessert holding it up to his mouth.

He shook his head, settling back in to his seat with a laugh.

I giggled and licked my finger again. He continued to shake his head at me. It was almost scary how comfortable I'd become around him. I would never have done that again once he'd called me out on it a month ago. Now here I was, pleasantly teasing Shane Gray during lunch. What had the world come too?

"So friends," I stated bringing Caity and Nate back into the conversation, "how are you?"

"Mitchie I can't remember the last time I've seen you this happy," Caity said smiling.

I shrugged. "It just feels so good to be alive and with such great people."

Shane's hand grazed over my leg under the table, rubbing up and down a little before coming to a rest right above my knee. The heat overwhelmed me for a second. I had to take a minute to straighten out my thoughts.

"I'm just ready for better things to come, and to experience all of life's joys with you three," I smiled looking at each one of them separately.

Caitlyn grinned at me, her big brown eyes full of love and friendship. Nate stuck his tongue out at me but managed to mouth an 'I love you' to make up for it. Shane, well, Shane just stared at me in the way that made it hard for me to breathe.

I moved my eyes away feeling so loved. My eyes caught sight of a running teacher maneuvering through the throng of crowded lunch tables. I watched amusedly as she pushed kids out of her way seemingly on an important mission. She darted through more students making a beeline straight for our table. The other three caught sight of what I was watching, eyes widening like mine.

She reached our table, leaning on it for support as she attempted to catch her breath. The marathon running lady was Millicent, the secretary from the office.

"Is something wrong Millicent?" Shane spoke up reaching out to steady her.

She nodded sucking in a breath of air. She looked at Nate and said, "You're mother, has, gone, into labor."

Nate jumped up forgetting about everything else. "When?"

"Shane's mother just called," she said. "You are excused for the rest of the day."

"What about them?"

She looked between Caitlyn, Shane, and I uncertainty crossing her face. "I'm not sure."

"It's okay," Caity said sadly, tugging on Nate's arm. "It's your mother. You should be there for her."

"You know how I feel about hospitals anyway," I said hoping it would make his decision easier.

"Can Shane at least come?" Nate begged.

"I am his cousin," he added.

"Alright the two of you can go," she said exasperatedly, flinging her hands up. "Get to the office so we can excuse you two." With that she was off, hobbling back towards her little desk in the office.

Once she was gone Nate sighed, his usually calm face suddenly nervous. Caity stood taking his face in her hands. "Nate, breathe. You're mom is going to be alright. She is just having another baby. She's had like three already. Mitchie and I will come right over after schools over."

"Yeah," I jumped in, "as soon as we can we will be right there with you."

He visibly calmed for point two seconds. Shane took that as his cue to try and calm his freaking cousin. "Come on man, let's go to the office and head down there. I think once you are there you will be alright. I was with Mom when she went through all she did with Keavy Rae. If anything Laurie's will be much less painful."

He paled.

"Not helping," I muttered to him.

Caity wrapped her arms around him pressing a light kiss to his cheek. "Go, and text me as soon as the baby's born! I've been waiting for this day forever!"

Her excitement pushed through his nerves, finally smiling. Shane left a kiss on the top of my head. "Text you later. I'm going to go make sure he is okay. I'll be back later for rehearsals though. I love you," he murmured smoothly.

"Go be a little soldier for him, poor Nate is gonna need it. I love you too."

The two of them were speed walking down the hall leaving Caity and I standing, watching their retreat. "Tell her to wait for us to get there!" I yelled at them. They continued waving their hands without turning.

"Well this day definitely just got more interesting," Caity said sitting back down in her chair.

"You could say that again," I laughed resuming our lunches.

* * *

To say I was anxious the rest of the day might have been the biggest understatement I ever hypothecated. In class all I could do was stare at the clock watching the hands tick by mirthlessly slow. Even the teacher's felt sluggish today with their droning lectures about things irrelevant about the topics we previously had been discussing. It was going to be even worse mulling through rehearsals without the two of them there.

I checked my phone every second I could without the teacher knowing what I was doing – still no news from Shane. I didn't know whether that was a good sign or not. It didn't help my nerves whatsoever though.

The final bell rang for the day, and I set into the halls quickly finding Caity rushing towards me.

"Any news yet?" she asked me breathlessly.

I shook my head with disappointment. I would have thought she would know something before me. "I hope everything is alright."

"I'm sure it is," she said strongly, grabbing onto my arm. "We should head to rehearsals before M has a fit."

I sighed. "What's today?"

"Dancing," snorted Caitlyn, "should be rather interesting."

The two of us tromped into the auditorium laughing all the way. Many of the other cast members were already scattered around the chairs and stage chatting loudly waiting for M to give them all instructions. Caity and I walked down the slight slope to the front of the stage breaking into one of the groups relaxing there.

"Have you practiced the dance number to 'Dance With Me' yet?" asked Dana Drews, the tall brunette playing the role of one of Courtney's friends.

I pulled my face back, making a pained expression. "Not really," I said truthfully.

She sighed thankfully. "Me either! I'm glad I'm not the only one."

"Hey Mitch, where's Shane at?" Keegan asked walking over from the piano to sit on the edge of the stage next to Grady.

"We can't go on without the star," Grady said dramatically.

I pushed his leg playfully. "Don't be bitter because you don't have the lead role."

"I'm not bitter," he said pushing himself off the stage. "I'm just wondering if he is able to do this."

He took my hands in his and twirled me into his arms. I laughed as he proceeded to do a tango or whatever the hell he was doing. "You should see your face right now," I laughed falling from his hands with immense laughter.

"I'm the best ballroom dancer around!" he exclaimed passionately, holding his hand over his heart.

"You're so full of yourself," I laughed pushing him in the chest.

He grinned. Behind us the doors burst open loudly followed by M charging down the middle aisle towards us. "She looks maaad," Grady whispered from behind me.

I rolled my eyes and glanced to Cait. She shook her head; she had no idea either. "Gather round, gather round," she said waving her arms in front of her.

Everyone who wasn't already at the front of the stage quickly made sure they were there before M arrived at the front. The nervous chatter ceased as she stomped to the front, her robes swinging around her wildly. Up close it was more apparent how livid she was. Her face was bright red, veins sticking up on her neck and forehead. I made a move forward to reach out to her but Grady grabbed my arm thinking better of it.

I settled back waiting for whatever mayhem was about to erupt out of her.

"It seems that the school board made a unanimous addition to our team without speaking about it with me first," she instantly started off. She moved aside and the pretty teacher from earlier edged her way around M.

The blond looked expectantly from M to all the eyes trained on her. Once she figured out that M wasn't going to be introducing her anytime soon she spoke up, "Hey everyone! I'm the new senior English teacher, Ms. Casper. But here I expect everyone to call me Dana. I'm looking forward to meeting you all and getting to know you."

Her blue eyes paused on my face staring longer than usual. I glanced to M who looked ready to pummel the next person that made a wrong move. The auditorium fell silent as we waited for M to speak or someone to speak out against this lunacy.

Finally Grady took the initiate as older cast member and said, "Not to sound rude or anything, but why exactly did they appoint you as an assistant now? We are almost ready for our production. I don't see how adding someone new at the very last minute could make it better."

M's face broke into a proud smile. She whipped her head back around to Dana acting excited to hear the reason behind this misdemeanor.

"What's your name?" Dana asked sweetly stepping forward toward him.

"Grady."

"Well Grady," she said walking right up to us, her eyes trained on his face, "the school directors thought it would be logical to add another person well versed in the theater to the production. It never hurt to have too many people running the show."

I scoffed quietly – that was false.

Dana heard me. "You are Mitchie correct?"

I nodded, not afraid of her.

"Did you have something you would like to add?"

"No, but I was wondering what part you are going to be helping out with? You haven't been here so you don't know any of our songs or our dances or the lines. How much help can you actually be?"

My coldness did not go unnoticed by her or anyone else in the room. Her perky face fell slightly. She probably wasn't used to making enemies within one day, but when it came to my boyfriend and my production I became extremely protective.

"Principal Warner decided I should be an assistant to Ms. Mason. I'm going to help her out with anything she needs."

I folded my arms across my chest, satisfied. As long as someone wasn't trying to come and take M's production away from her I would have to let it slide.

M clapped her hands together, some of the life rushing back to her face. "Stop standing around! We've got lines to go over. Let's go over scene five!"

Feet shuffled around the stage and along the carpeted floor hurrying to their places for the line reading. I fell back with Caity, hanging around behind the curtains as I wasn't in scene five.

"Does this seem weird to anyone other than me?" she voiced grabbing a clipboard off the crew table to see what was needed for this scene.

I nodded watching her flip through the sheets making little marks next to tasks. "It's like she came out of nowhere, and now all the sudden she's involved in everything."

"Mitchie!" yelled M from the director's chair at the foot of the stage.

I looked at Cait expectantly and walked out from behind the curtain.

"Where are Shane and Nate? We cannot go over scene five without our lead missing!" she exclaimed rising from her chair to storm up the stairs.

"Nate's Mom went into labor earlier today, so they left school to be with her."

The opening of the auditorium door muffled my last word. My face broke into a wide smile; my heart beating along with every step he took.

"Sorry I'm late!" Shane announced breaking into a run. "I tried to leave as soon as I could."

"Any news?" Caity asked breathlessly appearing at my elbow.

He shook his head. "No little new baby yet," he said sadly. "I told her she better wait until after I get back too to have the little thing."

"Did Nate come with you?" M wondered storming back down the stairs to meet the tall boy.

Shane shook his head. "He wasn't going to leave even if I bribed him with new guitars."

"We can manage with just Nate being gone," she said to herself.

He glanced up and instantly caught my eyes. His lips pulled up at one corner leaving me swooning like a little school girl.

"Quit staring at Mitchie and get up on stage, we have scenes to rehearse!" M said pushing him away from her and toward the stage.

Shane smiled and jumped onto the wooden stage deciding that was more conducive than walking two feet to the left and walking up the stairs. I shook my head as he quickly planted himself in front of me. "I told you I would be back," he whispered touching my face gently.

"When I say quit staring at Mitchie that doesn't mean go and talk to her instead!" clipped M coming up behind him and swatting him away from me.

The grin never left his face as he followed M to the right wing where everyone who was in scene five was chatting with each other. I sighed heavenly feeling almost faint. It was scary how he, just being in the same vicinity as me, was making it hard to breathe.

Caity grabbed onto my arm and steered me off the stage so that I wasn't in the way. We plopped down in the first row of auditorium seats and watched M yell at everyone.

I sighed, satisfied. This day was turning into a great day.

* * *

After rehearsals that day, Caity and I piled into Shane's SUV and sped off to the hospital. None of us had heard anything from Nate during practice. We were all slightly worried that something may have happened, and that's why Nate hadn't been able to contact us. I was hoping there wasn't anything seriously wrong.

Shane got us to the hospital within fifteen minutes, faster than I've ever gotten to the city hospital. We raced through the ER doors. Shane was the first to the counter.

"Has there been any change with Laurie Black?" he asked quickly.

The squat woman shook her head. "She is just relaxing right now in her room. She's been sedated, so she's less irritable than a couple hours ago."

"May we see her?" Caity asked.

She nodded. "Only for a little bit though. Only family after a certain time."

"Thank you," Shane said and started to round the corner before coming back to the counter. "Same room as before?"

"Yes, room 4109."

We took off down the hallway to the nearest elevator. The bell dinged and we squished on with a bunch of intern-looking students not much older than us all holding clipboards looking exhausted. One of the girls, a small mousy brunette, kept pinching her arm to keep her from falling asleep on the wall. She caught me staring.

"Don't ever become doctors," she spoke gruffly

The other interns nodded along with her.

"How long have you been here?" I asked as the elevator stopped and a couple of the skittered off on the second level.

The brunette stayed. She glanced to the taller blond boy behind her. "We've been here for, what, about thirty-six hours you would say?"

"Damn!"

"That's not even bad," the boy told Shane. "Last week, we all pretty much lived here. I think I was at my apartment for a grand total of five hours all week."

"Where do you sleep? Do you get to sleep?" Caity asked sympathetically.

"There is an on-call room which we are allowed to rest in, but that usually doesn't last long. We always get paged within five minutes of lying down."

The elevator dinged again. "This is us," the boy said.

The two maneuvered passed the three of us. "Good luck with everything!" I called after them.

They both waved as the doors closed.

"Remind me to never even think of being in the field of medicine," Caitlyn said as the elevator continued slowly up.

I shook my head along with her. "You have got to be extremely dedicated to do a job like this."

The elevator dinged one last time, and the three of us jumped off the platform and walked out into what seemed to be a waiting room for the fourth floor.

"Shane!" The frantic voice of his mother stopped us short.

We all turned on the spot. Stacey raced down a hallway to us. Her face was flushed red.

"What is it Mom?" Shane asked worriedly meeting her halfway.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him along. "Hurry! They just wheeled her into the C-section room. We can watch from the alcove above. Hurry now!"

The mere mention of a baby being born put us all into a full out sprint behind Stacey. We passed a couple slow walkers in the hallway whom I'm sure weren't thrilled with our unacceptable pace in a hospital hallway.

Stacey didn't even think to slow down; she kept on rushing farther and farther down the hall. She took a sharp right and slowed to a stop. The three of us stumbled into each other ungracefully. Caity pulled on my arm having almost fallen to the ground from our abrupt stop. Stacey opened a huge door to the left and shooed us all inside.

The alcove was crammed. I swear every single member of the family was jammed into a room usually suited for no more than five or six people at a time. Everyone noticed our arrival seeing as they all had to squish closer together. Nate somehow broke through the throng and wrapped his arms around Caity.

"How is she doing?" Shane asked.

Nate held Caity in his arms in a way that frightened me.

"Nate, what's wrong?" she wondered pulling away from him so she could see his face.

"There have been some complications," he managed to choke out before his face buried into Caity's shoulder.

Jason appeared at his shoulder. His face was solemn and tired.

"What's going on Jas?"

"The baby is breached and has somehow managed to get the cord wrapped around its neck. Not but ten minutes ago the doctor came in to check on Laurie, he was checking for the baby's heartbeat as usual and couldn't seem to find it. So he started feeling around her stomach and found out the baby was breached. He isn't sure the cord is wrapped around its neck, but he says it's a good possibility which explains why it's not breathing. They are prepping her for a C-section right now."

"Is the baby going to be okay?" I asked with tears in my eyes.

Shane slipped his big hand around mine.

Jason shrugged helplessly. "We can't be certain until they've got the baby out."

"This is terrible," I muttered facing the huge plexi-glass window.

An army of doctors swarmed the room below hooking Laurie up to more machines and rolling in other monitors and tools. I spotted Mark down there among the doctors. He stuck out in his baby blue booties, scrubs, and hair cap. He held onto Laurie's hand tightly, bending down to whisper something into her ear. I gulped back a sob at the sight of them. They were the last people to deserve something like this happening to them.

"I'm going to go down there and see if they need anything," Stacey said restlessly from behind us.

She was out the door before we could stop her. Paul smiled at us sadly as he passed to chase after her. Julie soon followed suit leaving the five of us with a room full of anxious children. Some of them were beginning to sob. I'm not sure how much they understood of what was going on, but they could sense that something wasn't right.

"Are all the children here?" I asked Jason.

He nodded. "They couldn't leave them at home. When Julie heard that there were complications she rushed over and brought the rest of them with her. They are all so restless. I don't know what to do with them."

"If you want I can take them to the waiting room and sit with them until everything is over," I suggested.

"You don't have to do that Mitch," Shane said.

I shook my head. "It's really no big deal at all. You know me with hospitals and pain and such. It's probably better if I don't want for the sake of everyone else here. They don't need to see their mom or aunt in pain anyway. Plus, it opens up some space to move."

Shane smiled at me in a way that always gave me chills.

"What?" I asked with a shiver.

"Have I ever told you you're amazing?"

I returned his smile. "I'm just trying to help out."

"The waiting room is only at the end of the hallway, so if anything happens we will just shout out the door," Jason joked turning his back on us to gather up the kids.

Shane pulled me into his arms sighing contentedly. "Are you sure about this?"

I nodded against his chest. "Just take care of him for me please," I whispered.

"Always," he murmured placing a kiss on the top of my head.

I gave him a small smile and slipped out of his arms. I tapped Caity on the shoulder and told her quickly what I was doing.

"I'm going to stay here if you don't mind. I need to make sure he doesn't do anything drastic," she said motioning to the motionless Nate in the corner.

"I totally understand, let me talk to him real quick."

Caity nodded stepping out of the way.

I walked slowly to my sulking friend. He was placed in the corner staring intently down at the operating room. He seemed so still that I had to touch him to make sure he was still breathing. His eyes cut to mine and quickly moved back to the operating room. I sighed sadly hating to see my friend in so much pain. Instead of talking I just wrapped my arms around him. He hugged back with the same intensity clutching onto me for support.

"I know nothing I say is going to make you feel better right now," I whispered into his ear. "But you need to know that everyone here is going to make sure they do everything they can to make sure your mom and the baby are alright. Even though I know you want to you are not allowed to go down there and deliver the baby yourself. You have to stay here and be strong for the rest of your family. Everyone looks up to you so much. You need to show them there is nothing to worry about. You are the strong one."

His body convulsed in a sob. I pulled back to look at him and felt myself tearing up again.

"Nate," I said placing both my hands on the sides of his face, "everything is going to be alright. Your mom is the strongest woman I know. She isn't going to let something like this get in the way of her bringing home another beautiful baby."

A couple droplets fell from his dark brown eyes.

"I'm going to take the little kids to the waiting room. They don't need to be in here for this. If you need me at all just send someone to come get me. I think you will be fine with Cait, Shane, and Jason though. You will be fine," I said squeezing him to me again. "I love you."

"I love you too Mitch. Thank you," he whispered.

I gave him one last smile and headed to the door. Shane met me.

"Libba and Rylee want to stay, but everyone else has already walked down to the waiting room with Jacob and Porter. I told them you would be behind them shortly. I will come get you if anything happens."

"Thank you," I said wrapping my arms around his taut body. I breathed in his smell and instantly felt myself relax somewhat. "Take extra care of everyone."

"You do the same. I love you Mo," he said bending down to touch his lips to mine.

The room fell away for that quick instant. "I love you," I said breathlessly backing into the hall.

He watched me walk away with a sad expression on his beautiful face. I turned and sped down the hallway just to make sure they weren't causing mayhem in the waiting room.

Surprisingly all seven of them were seated solemnly in separate seats, save for Keavy Rae who was balled up on Porter's lap. She must have been getting over her fear of people. She was letting more and more family hold her lately. I smiled at her progression.

Hollace jumped off the chair she was sharing with Jensen and threw herself into my arms. Her little sobs sounded pitiful. Other people waiting in the chairs looked on at her with sad eyes.

"I' the gonna be okay?" she blubbered through her tears. "I' Momma gonna be okay?"

I tucked her head in my neck and settled myself into a chair between Jensen and Jacob. James crawled up onto his older brother's lap. Porter scooted his chair over towards us, Keavy Rae still wrapped in his arms. Bryden, in fear of being left out, plopped down on the floor at my feet. I ruffled the little boy's hair with my free hand. He smiled up at me hopefully; he looked so much like Shane it was scary.

"Everything is going to be okay," I told Hollace hoping that I wasn't installing false hope in her four year old mind.

My words didn't ease the worry in the older children's eyes. Porter and Jacob knew something was wrong but they weren't going to worry their siblings with things they didn't understand.

Hollace tucked her face into my shoulder stifling her sobs. I ran my hand through her beautiful long brown locks. Jensen crawled over the arm of her chair to sit on my other leg. She mimicked Hollace's movements, hiding her face in my shoulder.

Carefully, I pulled the chair Jensen vacated to enclose our little circle. "Sit here Bry," I told the little boy.

He instantly popped up from the floor and settled into the chair. I looked around at all their faces and sighed.

"What would you guys like to do?" I asked not sure if we should all just sit here in silence or actually find something productive to keep their minds off Laurie.

"Can we play a game?" suggested Bryden leaning forward in the big chair.

I smiled. "What kind of game are you thinking?"

"Let's play the favorite game!" squeaked James.

The older children groaned as the younger ones squealed along with James. "What's the favorite game?" I wondered.

Jensen opened her mouth in shock. "You've never heard of the favorite game. It's only the best game ever invented."

I giggled at her exaggerated gestures. "Well, tell me how you play it."

Porter quickly explained the game knowing that he was the only one that would be able to truly get the point of the game across. The littler kids added their tidbits every five seconds, but I think I managed to understand the gist of the game. The favorite game was simple; for example, one person would say name your favorite book, then you went around your circle naming your favorite book. Simple enough right?

"Okay it sounds easy enough, who wants to go first?" I asked.

"Me!" yelled James.

I giggled softly hugging the two girls on my lap closer to me. "Go ahead, ask your question."

"What is your favorite color?" he asked looking at Jacob to start off the game.

"James that is so boring," complained his twin Jensen.

"Oh just say your favorite color Jen," Jacob scolded his younger sister. "My favorite color is blue."

"My favorite color is baby blue," Jensen mimicked her older brother.

Bryden said, "Dark green."

"Mine is aqua," I said. "What about you Ace?"

"I like periwinkle," she stated simply.

I stared at her. She was too smart for a four year old.

"What's your favorite color?" Porter whispered in Keavy Rae's ear.

She brought her small fists up to her mouth attempting to hide the smile. She leaned back and whispered into her brother's ear.

Porter smiled. "Keavy Rae likes bright pink, and my favorite is black."

James clapped gleefully. "I love orange! Your turn Jacob."

"Alright, favorite movie."

Suddenly a huge smile crossed over my face. My mind quickly sorted back through a couple months to one of the first days I ever talked to Shane Gray. We were forced to work with each other one evening and to pass the time we played this exact game. I sighed happily remembering how easy it was for him to make me laugh. How easily we became friends, how easily he stole my heart with that crooked grin.

"What is it Mitchie?" wondered Jensen noticing my sudden mood change.

I smiled down at her worried face. "Nothing, just remembering a really good day."

She nodded and listened to her cousins and brothers and sisters name off their favorite movie. When it came around to my turn there was not a second delay in my answer.

"The Notebook," I told them.

"I've never seen it," Jensen said sadly.

"We will watch it sometime, okay?"

She perked up, a smile on her face.

All of the sudden our quiet game was interrupted with the rush of doctors running down the hallway. Someone came over the loudspeaker frantically yelling for every available doctor to make their way to ER 4918. Our eyes followed their hurried footsteps down the hallway we had left, worry washing over all of us. As the doctors rushed by something caught my eye.

Coming out of one of the rooms was a staggering, very dejected looking Shane Gray. His shoulders slumped over in a way that did not comfort me whatsoever. I quickly set down the two girls in the chair and raced towards him. He looked up just as I was at the end of the hallway.

Something passed over him, and he was falling backwards. Fear coursed through me.

"Shane!" I shouted, but it was too late. He was already down.


	37. American Honey

**winner of the worst updater of the year award... goes to me! i am soooo sincerely sorry for taking so long for this measly update. i don't really have any good solid excuses save for the fact that i couldn't figure out what i wanted to write next. i've also been working on other things that have been preoccupying my time. i think i've got some good ideas lined up now though, so hopefully the writing comes easier.**

**but, i just want to thank you all who have been waiting for this update for waaay too long. im so sorry yet again for my lack of updates. you all are seriously the best readers i could have ever hoped for. you inspire me in every way. all of you are amazing! :)**

**heres you long awaited update. more to come soooon.**

**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Seven:**** American Honey**

_**Steady as a preacher**_

_**Free as a weed**_

_**Couldn't wait to get goin'**_

_**But wasn't quite ready to leave**_

_**So innocent, pure and sweet**_

_**American honey**_

**American Honey: Lady Antebellum**

I was at his side in less than a second, holding him in my arms. "Shane," I cried softly, "wake up please. Wake up."

It didn't take long for someone else to notice a person passed out in the hallway. A nurse bent down next to me. "What is wrong?"

"I have no idea. He just walked out of the room and collapsed," I rushed.

She grabbed his wrist checking for a pulse. "He's alright. I think he's just passed out. What was he doing before?"

"He was in there watching his aunt have an emergency C-section," I said pointing to the door a couple doors down.

"I'm guessing it's just stress related then. Will you help me move him into a room? I will get him some medicine and water. He should be up in no time," the nurse said standing.

At that moment a couple things happened. I could hear the kids from the waiting room rushing up behind me. Their feet moving in a fast, worried pace. Just as they were closing in Nate and Jason stepped out of the room. Their faces looked considerably happy compared to the one on Shane a few seconds ago. When they saw him crumpled on the floor, the happiness instantly diminished.

"What happened?" Jason said bending down to help the nurse get Shane to his feet.

Nate stepped in and looped Shane's limp arm around his shoulders.

"I saw him walk out of the room, and he just collapsed," I sobbed softly.

"He said he needed to get some air, that he wasn't feeling well," Jason explained. "He must really not have been feeling well."

"He will be okay," the nurse informed. "Look he's already starting to wake up."

I snapped my eyes to his face. Sure enough, those beautiful eyes were fluttering open. My heart released the worry that it had been holding.

"What's everyone staring at?" he wondered shifting his weight against Jason.

"You, you idiot. You just collapsed in the middle of the hallway," I chuckled.

"That's embarrassing," he stated.

Everyone laughed. He was fine.

The nurse stepped in front of him to take a better look at his eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Just a little dizzy and really thirsty."

"You're going to be fine," the nurse said. "Just take it easy for a little bit. I'm going to go get you some water. Why don't you sit somewhere?"

He nodded sitting down against the wall. "I'm fine everyone," he announced to the small audience he held. "You should take the little kids back into the room."

I looked up at Nate and Jason, smiles stretching across their faces. "I hope these are good smiles," I hoped.

Nate nodded excitedly. "Mom and baby are alive and doing well!"

I screamed along with everyone else. I threw my arms around Nate's shoulders and hugged him close to me. "I told you everything would be okay."

He nodded against my head.

"So," I said pulling away from him, "what is it!"

"Baby girl," he smiled widely.

I squealed again. "Aw! Does she have a name yet?"

"Alexandria May Black," he said. "We are going to call her Lexa."

"That is adorable! When will be able to see her?"

"Jason and I were just heading down when we walked out the door. I don't think we will be able to hold her yet. They are going to put her in the nursery after they run some more tests on her to make sure everything is okay. But I think we can go see Mom."

"You two go ahead and take whoever wants to go. I'll sit here with this goofball." I cocked my head towards Shane who was leaning his head back against the cool wall.

"Hey, I can still hear you know."

I laughed hugging Nate again. "Tell your mom congratulations from me. Shane and I will be down as soon as he feels better."

"Thank you Mitch," he smiled. "Who wants to go see Mom?"

All the kids cheered excitedly. Hollace grabbed onto Nate's hand, her brown hair bouncing around everywhere. "Feel better Shane," his cousins and siblings told him as they passed by.

Once the hallway was clear of the Color Clan save for Shane and I, I finally sat down next to him and took one look at his face and busted out laughing.

He cracked one eye open and groaned. "I'm glad you find my passing out so hilarious."

"Shane Gray passing out, I never thought it was a possibility. I was extremely worried don't get me wrong. I just didn't know you weren't invincible."

He groaned again but reached out to grab for my hand. I quickly laced my fingers through his loving the feeling it always gave me when they meshed perfectly together.

"I'll be fine. I think everything just got to me so fast that I didn't know how to handle it. I'll be good in no time though."

"I have no doubt about that," I smiled pushing his stubborn waves off his forehead.

"Can we just sit here for a minute and relax?" he asked letting his head fall back against the wall gently.

I nodded, mimicking his movements. Until the moment my head hit the concrete, I hadn't even realize how exhausted I was. All the extra amounts of effort I was putting into rehearsals plus my extended hours at work really were beginning to take a toll on me.

My mind was slowly slipping away until I felt a warm hand touch my cheek. My eyes fluttered open only to automatically shut as Shane's warm lips met mine. Warmth spread from the tips of my lips all the through my entire body, literally lighting my blood on fire.

Briefly, his lips left mine only to mutter, "I don't think we should start this in a hospital. People may get the wrong idea."

Honestly, if he would have asked me to repeat what he said I wouldn't have been able too. My mind was still reeling from the kiss, that one little kiss. He could still leave me absolutely speechless after a simple little kiss. So I nodded.

"Want to go see the baby?"

Before I had a chance to response he was already on his feet pulling me to mine. I staggered into his arms.

"Are you sure I was the one that fainted?" he chuckled wrapping his arm tightly around my shoulders.

"Oh shut up," I said knocking him in the side. "Let's go see that baby girl."

The doctor had moved Laurie back into a normal delivery room. She was still hooked to some machines, but she definitely looked much happier. It was then I noticed the small bundle in her arms.

Nate moved off the bed so Shane and I could take a look at the newborn.

"Meet your new cousin, Lexa May," smiled Laurie with utter adoration. Mark stood on the other side of the bed gazing down at the beautiful baby.

I peered over Shane's shoulder and gasped. The smallest little baby I'd ever seen sat pleasantly in Laurie's arms all bundled up in her pink blanket. Laurie held her out for Shane to hold. He took the small baby carefully, holding it close to his chest.

She opened her eyes and blinked up at us with big blue eyes. My heart melted instantly. A little tiny fist poked its way out of the blanket. I reached out, and she grabbed onto my finger. She made an adorable baby noise and smiled.

"She is one happy baby," I confirmed.

"Would you like to hold her?" Shane asked holding her out to me.

I looked at him, panicking. "I don't know. I've never held a baby before."

He smiled. "It's not that hard, hold your arms like this," he said showing me how he was holding Lexa. "And just keep her head supported. That's the most important thing."

Timidly, I held my arms out. Shane placed Lexa in them. She weighed practically nothing. Her beautiful blue eyes followed my eyes as I held her close. "She's so beautiful Laurie," I said after a couple minutes. I reluctantly returned her to the happy mother and retreated to the back of the room with Caitlyn. We let the family crowd around Laurie and the baby.

"She is beautiful, isn't she?" Cait said her eyes on Nate's happy face.

"Nothing like a baby to bring everyone together," I said with a laugh.

She nodded her agreement. After awhile the crowded room was starting to take a toll on everyone's mental health. Laurie instructed the children to head home, get some food, and head to bed. There was no use staying at the hospital. It took a lot to convince Nate to leave, but we finally managed to get him out of the room.

The four of us and Jason took all the children home. We managed to get everyone fed and in their beds without much of a fuss. The excitement of the arrival of baby Lexa had finally gotten to the children. They were fast asleep before we had left their rooms.

Since we finally all had a minute to relax, we decided we would all watch a movie together in the family room. We were too tired to walk down to the basement where the real theater was, so we sufficed with the TV on the main floor.

Jason excused himself and went up to his room. I don't think he really wanted to watch a movie with us. He would have felt like a fifth wheel, and I had a feeling that that probably made him miss Stella even more.

"Anyone want something to eat or drink?" Shane asked as Caity rifled through their DVD collection.

"Popcorn sounds lovely," she said tossing another box to the side.

"Maybe some lemonade or water to drink," added Nate settling himself into the loveseat.

"I'll help you," I offered pushing myself off the couch.

I followed Shane into the kitchen heading for the fridge as he went to the pantry. "So, we have some juice boxes, half a carton of lemonade, and milk," I said observing my options. I moved a couple boxes of leftovers aside. "Oh! And some mountain dew."

I glanced over to Shane who was putting the first packet of popcorn into the microwave. He shrugged, giving me a small smile. "I know you want chocolate milk."

I scoffed. "Am I that predictable?"

"I just know you," he said coming up from behind me and looping his arms around my waist. He rested his head on my shoulder and sighed. "I haven't been this happy in a long, long time."

I laid my hands on top of his, smiling to myself. "Me either," I breathed contentedly.

He tilted his head toward my ear and left a soft kiss right below my earlobe. I squealed from the tinkling sensation, ducking away from his mouth.

"That tickles Shane!" I squealed attempting to break free from his grasp.

He was too strong for me. I gave up fighting him and twisted in his arms so that I was facing him. My forehead met his softly; our eyes connecting in an unbreakable gaze. The magnetic energy between us brought our lips together in a fiery kiss.

The microwave dinged, breaking us apart with a jump. Blushing, I stepped out of his arms and retreated back to the fridge to make a decision on drinks. I held tightly onto the door, attempting to focus my spinning mind on the contents of the fridge. It was harder than I thought.

Eventually Shane and I managed to gather up all the food and return to the family room without any other interruptions. The four of us settled in and watched some terribly dramatic movie that Caitlyn had obviously picked out. It felt good to finally take a break and relax with my friends.

I snuggled into Shane's shoulder, sighing contently. There was nowhere else I'd rather be than right here with him.

* * *

The next couple of days all ran together to the point where I could barely distinguish one from the other. Lexa Black and Momma Black came home after staying the night at the hospital. The baby was doing extremely well, perfectly healthy for a newborn. I don't think I'd ever seen Mark smile so much; it would have been unnerving if I hadn't known the affect Lexa was going to have on people.

Everyone was absolutely in love with her. The moment she opened her big blue eyes and smiled, there was no turning back, you were sucked in. She had to be one of the most spoiled babies I'd ever known. The time I spent at the Clan's house I never saw her leave someone's arms. As soon as someone got sick of holding her, someone else popped up showering her with kisses and admiration.

Having Paul there also was becoming more and more normal. He melded right into all the craziness. Sometimes it felt like he had never been gone. The younger children were coming around to the fact that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Even little Keavy Rae was warming up to her father. It felt like for once in a really long time everything and everyone in the Clan household was doing well and happy.

As much as I'd have loved to spend the rest of time sitting around watching the new baby, there were other important things going on outside the Clan house such as school, work, and rehearsals. School was surprisingly less hectic than usual. It was work and rehearsals that were sucking all the energy out of me. We were coming down to the wire with rehearsing for our musical. It was exactly two weeks until opening night, and M was not taking average for an answer. Work was also something else. We had been working hard to restore order to the shop ever since the wreckage of a couple weeks ago. The shop was almost back to working order. Jason just had a lot of inventory to do, and I have a feeling that's what I would get sucked into at work this evening.

Friday after what felt like a never ending day of school accompanied by a stressful rehearsal of practicing our dance routines until I had blisters, Carmen and Caity dropped me off at JJ Records.

"Do you need us to pick you up?" Cait asked as I stepped out of the car into the chilly end of February air.

I shook my head, slinging my bag over my shoulder. "I'll just have Jay drive me back after work. I'll see you later. Thanks for the ride!"

Carmen honked and drove off.

The door to the shop dinged as I pushed through.

"I'll be with you in a moment," Jason's voice called from the back room.

"It's just me Jay," I said placing my bag under the counter and looping my nametag around my neck. I pulled my wavy hair from underneath the band and sat down on the stool.

He poked his head out the door and smiled. "Thank goodness you're here. I completely forgot I scheduled an extra beginner guitar class today. I'm so bogged down with paperwork and restocking all the shelves I have absolutely no time to do anything else."

"Of course I'll help out!" I exclaimed hopping off the stool already heading for the stairs.

"Thank you so much Mitch. I owe you big time. They are all up in Studio C. Just ask them what they've been doing. I'm sure you won't have any trouble giving them direction."

"I'll be fine, don't worry about a thing," I said with a laugh, climbing the stairs two at a time.

I stopped in Studio B to grab Carley from her case. It seemed like ages ago since the last time I played her, when in reality is was less than a week. Walking into Studio C, I felt a rush of emotions wash over me. It had only been a couple days since I played my song in front of my class and given Shane his Valentine's Day present. My skin prickled with heat as I glanced at the piano in the corner, remembering.

Pausing at the podium, I noticed the room had grown silent since I entered. I glanced around at all the small faces not recognizing a single one. They all looked so young and intimidated.

"Hi everyone, my name is Mitchie, and I'm going to be filling in for Jason tonight. I hope you all don't mind that I am replacing him," I said deciding to take a seat in front of them instead of standing authoritatively at the front of the room.

A couple of the younger girls shifted their small guitars in their arms, giving me shy smiles.

I smiled back. "Could someone let me know what you have been working on?"

One of the braver little boys raised his hand.

"Yes, what is your name?"

"Ben," he said timidly.

"Okay Ben, what has Jason had you all working on?"

"We just learned F," he said placing his fingers on the correct strings.

Another hand shot up in the air. I nodded at the little girl.

"I'm Jess, and Jason was teaching us how to play Yankee Doodle."

I nodded, scrunching my nose up as I thought. I moved my fingers over Carley in the tune of Yankee Doodle. "Like that?"

The six children in the room stared dumbfounded at me, as if I had just played an outstanding piece of music comparable to Mozart.

"You are amazing," a petite blond girl said shyly.

I actually blushed.

Jess nodded animatedly. "You are so good. How did you get that good?"

"Lots of practice," I chuckled. "I actually have a very good teacher."

"Who?"

"Jason."

A redheaded boy laughed. "You are way better than Jason!"

I shook my head. "Don't catch him hearing you say that! But really, I've had a few teachers, and Jason was definitely one of them. The most important thing is you've got to love it. If you don't love it you won't stay dedicated. You all want to be famous guitarist someday right?"

Their heads all bobbed 'yes' together.

I smiled. "Well, if you want to be a famous guitarist you've got to practice every day. Keep practicing and one day you will be able to do anything."

"I want to be as good as you someday," the shy blond said.

"What's your name?"

"Mara."

"Well, Mara, as long as you strive to be great, your possibilities are endless."

Clapping rang from the doorway. I snapped my head to the noise and rolled my eyes. "I didn't expect to see you out of the house until Lexa was going to college."

Nate laughed sarcastically, entering the room.

"Everyone this is my friend, Nate. He is also in a band with Jason."

"Hello Nate!" The small group chorused.

He waved back to them. "Jason told me you were teaching a class. I had to see it for myself."

"Oh shut up," I said noting his amazed tone.

"Mitchie is doing a great job!" Mara exclaimed. "Watch this."

The class turned and watched Mara's fingers expertly match the tune of Yankee Doodle to which I just played. When she finished, everyone's eyes widened in amazement.

"I think you were holding out on me," I laughed, congratulating the young girl.

She blushed again. "I can listen to something, hear it in my head, and then play it. I don't know why. I just can."

"That is a very good trait to have," Nate interjected. "That will really help you with your music when you are older."

I wasn't sure if Mara's reddened cheeks were going to be able to take any more praise.

Nate stuck around for the rest of the lesson. I didn't mind one bit. His knowledge of guitar was far greater than mine would ever be. So, we tag teamed and the kids seemed to really enjoy our different styles of playing guitar. At the end of the hour, a couple of them even asked if we would teach private lessons.

Once the last child, Mara, exited the studio, I turned to Nate. "You really don't think they were serious about private lessons, do you?"

Nate shrugged, disassembling the stands. "It's not like it's extremely uncommon to have private lessons."

"I know that," I said sarcastically. "I never imagined myself giving private lessons."

"It could be a good idea for Jason to start offering private lessons. We have four very talented guitarists, why shouldn't we?"

"Just never crossed my mind," I said stacking the last chair in the corner.

Changing the subject, Nate asked, "Are you excited for opening night?"

I squealed. "I can't believe it's almost time for opening night. It doesn't seem like we've been working on this for almost three months."

"I'm kind of sad it's going to be ending, but at the same time I'm more than excited to see the final production. We have to be perfect at rehearsals this week to be ready by next Friday."

I nodded, waiting for him to leave the room so I could turn the lights off. "Are you working tonight?"

He shook his head. "I stopped by to see if Jason needed any help with the shop, and it seems like he has got it somewhat under control now."

"So you are going to leave me here all by myself? I'll be so bored," I complained, jumping down the stairs.

"You will survive," Nate laughed. "Jason is here. He isn't that bad of company."

"Oh fine," I huffed, dropping down on the stool.

Nate shook his head at me. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Bye," I grumbled taking a magazine from underneath the counter. "What celebrity can we stalk today?"

The bell dinged again. I looked up assuming Nate had forgotten something. My smile quickly turned down. I spotted Jason out of the corner of my eye and put on a fake smile in case he spotted me looking sour.

"Hello," I said formally, not moving from my post, "can I help you with anything?"

Her perky smile never left her face. "I have been hearing rave reviews about this shop ever since I got here, and I have to come check it out for myself."

I nodded.

Even though it's been a couple days since her first appearance, I hadn't warmed up to Ms. Dana Jasper whatsoever. And I think she knew it. Her personality definitely rubbed me the wrong way. No one ever stayed that happy or perky all the time. I knew there had to be something more behind her mask of perfection. I wasn't falling for it unlike the rest of the school.

She moved through the rows of music, stopping to pick up one or another. I watched her over the top of my magazine, keeping an eye on her at all times.

"Shane isn't in is he?" she wondered aloud, walking over to the records.

"No," I said slowly. "Why?"

She shook her head, focusing her smiley face on me. "Just curious, you two seem to be pretty close," she continued saying walking towards the counter.

I lowered the magazine a little. "Yeah, we are."

"How long have you two been dating for?"

"A couple months," I said shortly.

She reached the counter and set down an old Styx record. As much as I hated her, I was impressed with her taste in music.

"Anything else?" I asked scanning the barcode.

"That will be all," she smiled.

I told her the price. She rummaged in her bag for her credit card. I made the transaction and bagged her record.

"Have a great day," I said through gritted teeth.

She took the bag from me with a huge smile plastered on her face. "Thank you so much," she said heading for the door. "Oh yeah, and Mitchie?"

I looked up at her one last time.

The smile never left her face as she said, "Don't look so sour all the time; it's not like I've come to steal Shane from you."

Even after she had left the shop and silence settled around me, I continued to stare at the closed door. What in the hell…

* * *

"Caity, I have to talk to you," I said in a hushed voice as soon as I walked into the house after work. Carmen and Owen were chatting in the kitchen while they cooked dinner.

Caitlyn looked to her parents and nodded. "We're going to go upstairs and hang until dinner. Call us down when it's ready."

"Okay sweetie," Owen called after us.

I charged up the stairs and headed straight to Cait's bedroom. I flopped onto her bed, burying my face in her pillows. I wanted to scream. The door was barely shut before I angrily started spewing about my run in with Dana.

"Wait, wait, wait," she said holding her hands up for me to slow down, "she actually came into the shop? She has some balls."

I rolled my eyes. "Not the sympathy I'm looking for. Before she left she told me something."

"What?"

"She said, _'Don't look so sour all the time; it's not like I've come to steal Shane from you'_. What kind of person, let alone a teacher, says that stuff?"

My friend stared at me for a long time, trying to decipher why she would have ever said anything like that. "I really don't understand. I mean she's friendly and nice. Shane has her for English, but as far as I can see there isn't much there. Shane is completely taken with you he doesn't even bother to look at other girls."

My mind was reeling, thinking through all my encounters with her. "I just don't get a good vibe from her. I feel like she's here to start up trouble. She's too friendly and nice. She acts like her and Shane are all buddy-buddy, which doesn't make sense. I know she isn't much older than us, but it's still sort of illegal for her to even think of doing anything with a student."

It was Cait's turn to roll her eyes. "You're being paranoid and dramatic. First of all, I don't think Dana is stupid enough to start something with a student. Second, like I already said, Shane is head over heels in love with you. He got you a damn puppy for god's sake!" Jeffey chose that moment to come rushing through the door and hopped up onto Caity's bed.

I picked up the small puppy and buried my face in his fur. "Well why else would she say that then? Why would she even bring it up if she wasn't trying to get Shane? I'm sure she knows I'm not her biggest fan, but it's not all because of how she acts with Shane. I don't like how she is a part of our production. Which is another funny coincidence if you think about it; she probably joined because she knew Shane was in it."

Cait smiled at me sadly. "I think, now don't take this the wrong way or get mad at me. I think that you've had a tough couple months, and you are still dealing with everything whether you want to admit it or not. You have always been protective of yourself, and you are even more protective of the people you love. I think you may just be a little worried about someone coming between you and Shane."

"I'm not jealous, Cait," I said exasperatedly. "Surprisingly I'm not jealous at all. She just rubs me the wrong way. I don't trust her. Not with our production and definitely not with my man."

Caity burst into giggles.

I sat there for a couple minutes and watched her laugh uncontrollably until I finally asked, "What are you laughing at?"

"You said 'my man'," she laughed imitating me terribly.

I shoved her slightly. "Shut up, you know what I mean though? People that aren't trying to steal other people's boyfriends don't tell you they aren't. I just feel like she's up to something."

She patted my arm softly. "I think you have to forget about it for now. I don't care if you don't trust her, you don't have too. But you have to respect her; she is a part of our production now and a teacher at our school. We don't need to have any more problems with that or M will seriously lose it. Until she really truly gives you a reason otherwise, you have to forget she ever said anything to you about Shane. It's not healthy for you, and you have been making such great progress. I would hate to see it all fall apart now."

I gave her a weak smile. "You are the best, you know that? I'm sorry. I am being paranoid and overprotective. I can't help it. Fault of mine. I'll try not to worry about it."

Cait smiled and jumped off the bed. "See, look at you! Being all old and mature, I'm proud of you. Let's go see if dinners done, I'm starving."

She bounced out of the room and down the stairs. I sat still for another couple minutes, idling playing with Jeffey's fur, thinking. Even if Caity didn't want to see any problem with her, I knew better than to let a gut feeling of mine go. I would definitely try not to think about it, as I had promised Caity, but I wasn't going to completely let it go. She may have everyone else fooled but not me.

I was still confused on why she felt she had to tell me that in the first place. I was never worried about her and Shane together. I knew she seemed to like him a lot, but that never bothered me until now. She obviously felt it was something she needed to say to me, which made me wonder if she really was planning on doing something to break us up.

I shook my head. I needed to stop thinking about this soon before I really started to go crazy. I didn't want to go back down that dangerous dark spiral. Pushing Jeffey playfully off the bed, I emerged from Caity's room with a smile plastered on my face. I wasn't going to let everyone else know of my troublesome thoughts.

Dinner was delicious. Carmen and Owen kept the conversation light and entertaining talking about past memories and events. They were in the midst of telling us about their disastrous third date when Cait's cell phone rang from the living room.

She looked at me, then to her parents. "No one would be calling me right now if it wasn't important."

Carmen nodded understandingly. "Go answer it."

I watched her, holding my breath, as she jumped the couch and grabbed her phone off the side table. She flipped it open. "Hello?"

The three of us watched Caity closely. Her eyes opened wide as whoever on the other side talked quickly, relaying something to her.

"Are you sure? Yeah, we will be right there." She hung up, her eyes fixated off into space.

I got up. "Cait, what's wrong?" I asked, worrying lacing my words.

Her brown eyes flickered to me. Water welled in them. "There's been an accident."

* * *

**don't hate me please. :) i am definitely going to try and update a lot sooner than last time. i know i always say this but i will try! love you all to pieces!**


	38. I'll Be

**I'm baaaaaaaaack! I'm so so sooo sorry for the long breaks in between chapters, I get caught up with school, life, work and just don't have time. No fear though, as long as you all want me to continue writing I will!**

**First, I want to say thank you to all of you who continue to wait and wait and wait and nicely remind me to write more chapters. It means more than you will ever know. Thanks so much for sticking with me through all the waiting. I have some of the best fans ever, and I can't thank you enough.**

**Second, I have been nominated for the Indie Camp Rock Award. I was completely surprised and grateful to be nominated! I can't even begin to explain how much it means to be nominated! I will post the link so you guys can go ahead and vote for this story! I'll post the link at the bottom so you don't forget. :) Thank you all to whoever may have nominated my story. It means so much that you think so highly of this story! It's gotten to where it is because of you, the readers. So once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

**Third, I'm going to shut up so you can finally read. Sorry for the lateness. Enjoy. :)**

* * *

******Chapter Thiry- Eight********: I'll Be**

_**And tell me that we belong together**__**  
**__**Dress it up with the trappings of love**__**  
**__**I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips**__**  
**__**Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above**_

_**And I'll be your cryin' shoulder**__**  
**__**I'll be love's suicide**__**  
**__**I'll be better when I'm older**__**  
**__**I'll be the greatest fan of your life**_

**I'll Be: Edwin McCain**

I stared at her, not sure if I had heard her correctly. "There's been an accident, who?"

She started blubbering.

A sickening feeling crept into my stomach. "Caity," I said softly, pulling her into my arms. "What's wrong? Who is it, Nate?"

She shook her head.

My stomach felt like it had plummeted to the floor. I shook her slightly hoping to get the words out of her.

"It-it's Shane, Mitch," she sobbed. "H-he was driving Hollace to a-a friends, and a c-car came out of n-nowhere."

As soon as she said Shane I was already in motion, grabbing a jacket and heading to the door. Carmen met me by the garage, wrapping her arm around my shoulder soothingly. "I'll drive to the hospital."

I silently thanked her, climbing into the back of the car. Caitlyn slipped in next to me, still crying quietly. I grabbed her hand as Carmen pulled out of the garage and took off towards the hospital.

I felt like I was living someone else's life. There could only be so much turmoil to happen in one person's existence. I thought I'd had my fair share of tragedies for three lifetimes by now. All I kept picturing in my head was Shane lying somewhere, not breathing, blood pooling underneath his body.

By the time we got to the hospital I was still in shock. I hadn't cried yet, but I knew with one wrong word or move I would be on the floor bawling with Cait.

Carmen, being the levelheaded woman she was, strode straight to the ER desk and demanded information about the wreck. Thankfully, her being a nurse had its perks.

Caity and I clung to each other in the middle of the waiting room. I kept my eye out looking for any familiar face.

"Caitlyn," Nate's voice called out from behind us.

We turned to find most of the Clan filing through the sliding doors. Everyone looked white and scared. That didn't help my nerves. Nate enveloped Caity into a hug, her sobs becoming more pronounced. Jason ran up to me taking me into his arms. I felt the tears coming now.

"What happened?" I managed to say.

I'd never seen Jason look so afraid. "He was dropping Hollace off at one of her friend's houses, he was driving through an intersection and out of nowhere a car came crashing into them."

I choked back a sob. "Was Hollace still in the car?" I asked quietly.

He nodded gravely.

I felt faint. "Have you heard anything about them?"

"We got here right after you," he said. "Stacey is up there with Carmen trying to figure everything out."

"I'm scared," I told him wrapping my arms tighter around his waist.

"It's going to be okay, everything will be okay," he murmured holding my head close to his heart.

The ER waiting room soon filled up with most of Shane's family and his cousins. The only one's not present were Julie and the really young children. They didn't need to see their family in any more pain than they have already experienced.

Carmen and Stacey finally walked back to us. "They don't have much information for us yet," Carmen spoke holding onto Stacey who looked on the verge of collapsing. "They are sending out a doctor as soon as they can."

We all sat down in the stiff seats, waiting for news. I sat with Jason, Caity, and Nate in a corner. None of us spoke. Our minds were too distraught to form actual words. Caity was still sobbing into Nate's shoulder uncontrollably. I stared straight ahead, trying to hold it together.

I couldn't take the whiteness and penetrating bright light from the waiting room. I had to bury my head in my hands to keep from going insane.

It seemed like yesterday we were here welcoming the new addition into the family. Now we were waiting to hear if two of its members would make it through the night.

Every terrible outcome passed through my mind. It literally was making me go crazy. I was just beginning to feel alive again, and of course something happens to crumble that shred of hope in me. Suddenly, I stood straight up. My friend's heads snapped to me, confusion on their faces.

"Mitchie, what's wrong?" asked Jason.

I nervously twisted my hair around my fingers. "I need some air. I'll be right back."

Jason stood. "I'll come with you."

Shaking my head, I said, "It's okay. I won't be gone long. I'll be alright, promise."

He gave me a tentative stare.

"Jason, seriously. I need two seconds to breathe, and I'll be back."

"If you're not back here in three minutes I'm coming to find you."

I rolled my eyes and walked awkwardly out of the waiting room. As I passed through the chairs, my eyes landed on the other desperate faces. I hadn't noticed until now, but there were actually a lot of people hanging out at the Emergency Room tonight. An elderly woman sat in a wheelchair with a younger man speaking gently to her. A pair of new parents held their sickly crying baby, attempting to soothe the newborn. A small family of five gathered together in a corner, speaking hushed words to one another.

My throat dried up at the sight of all these people in pain. Even if they weren't physically in pain, emotional strife tended to be the same if not worse. I understood their pain all too well.

Picking up my pace, the sliding doors parted allowing me to exit into the cool night. The suddenness of the cold air caught me off guard. Cool air filled my tight throat instantly causing me to cough madly. I wandered along the sidewalk, holding my hand to my mouth. Stunned from the cold, my tears somehow finally fell from my eyes.

I found a vacant bench off the sidewalk and practically fell onto it. Cradling my legs to my chest, I bent my head onto my knees and let the sobs roll. I didn't even notice when Jason came out and pulled me into him, masking my shivers from the cold.

I don't know how long he held me, but I didn't mind. I feared if he let go I may literally fall apart.

"Mitch, Jay," Caitlyn's voice broke through my sobs.

Our heads turned up at the sound, watching her run towards us.

"The doctors just came to see us. You need to come, now," she said pulling us off the bench.

The urgency in her voice did not make me feel any better about this situation. Jason wrapped his hand around mine, giving it a gentle squeeze as we raced back into the hospital. The entire family was standing, all huddled together. From afar it seemed like they were discussing a strategy familiar to a sports team. I half-expected them to yell 'BREAK' and run their separate ways.

We reached the outskirts of the group. Paul saw us and stepped aside to make more room.

"What's going on?" I asked as soon as I was within earshot.

Stacey's eyes flickered to me. She looked to have aged thirty years in front of my eyes. Redness rimmed her eyes. "Come here with me," she said softly, reaching out for my hand.

Jason gave me one final squeeze. I grabbed onto Stacey's smaller one and followed her down the corridor.

After a good minute of walking without saying anything, I asked, "Stacey, what's going on? Please tell me, you are freaking me out."

"Just a little further," she murmured tugging me along.

I sighed wiping my eyes with the end of my hoodie.

Finally, Stacey paused. I couldn't even tell you where we were. I lost track of the turns thirty seconds into the trip. She was facing a glass window, gazing in with an unreadable expression on her face.

I glanced to my left. Behind the glass window, a team of doctors in their blue scrubs mingled around a table. All the doctors hovered over the person making it virtually impossible to see who was lying on the table.

"You know I've grown very fond of you over these last couple months," Stacey started, holding my hand tightly in her thin one. "I consider you one of my own children basically, and I know you have really helped Shane through one of the hardest times of his life."

"Stacey, I don't understand…"

Her beautiful eyes filled with clear tears. "Shane and Hollace were both involved in a very dangerous crash. Shane was making a left at an intersection, and a car coming from the opposite way slammed into the right side of his car. The car-" A strangled sound emitted from her mouth. I squeezed her hand, letting her know I was there for her. She smiled graciously. "Shane's car flipped over and crashed into a light pole."

My vacant hand flew to my mouth covering the scream that wanted to erupt.

Streaks of tears trailed down Stacey's face. "The doctors are doing all they can, but they have both been hurt very badly. Shane suffered a contusion to his head which worries the doctors. They fear he may have brain damage," she managed to choke out.

Tears were falling from my own eyes now. This could not be happening.

"He's pretty banged up: broken leg, broken ribs, and a major gash across his chest. He's currently in surgery," she said nodding toward the glass.

My eyes widened in fear. One of the doctor's stepped aside, and I was finally able to see the face of the person. I would have recognized that head of hair anywhere. My heart dropped at the sight of him looking so helpless and frail.

"What about Hollace?" I asked, my eyes not moving from Shane.

A strangled noise came from Stacey's throat. "She's in worse shape than Shane. She was sitting in the back seat on the passenger side. Since she's so small and young, the crash impacted her more. Thankfully they were both wearing their seatbelts or both of them would have been thrown through the windshield. But Holl, they don't think she's going to make it."

"No," I breathed turning to Stacey. "No, Stacey. Don't even think that .She may be small, but she is incredibly strong. She won't leave us. She can't leave us."

I wrapped my arms around her small body wishing I could take the pain away. My eyes remained glued to the operating table behind the glass. The heart monitor kept blinking red which helped my heavy heart remain stable.

"How long is his surgery supposed to take?"

She shook her head. "It's all up in the air depending on how well he takes it. I think the doctors said around two to three hours."

"Where's Holl at?"

"She's in another surgical room with more intensive care. No onlookers allowed."

I nodded, falling silent.

A couple minutes went by without any sound except Stacey's soft sobs. "Do you want to go back to the waiting room?"

I glanced at her face and shook my head. "If it's alright with you, I'm going to stay here and watch. I want to know what's going on."

"If you hear of anything come find me right away. I need to be with the rest of my family right now."

"Of course," I insisted.

"Be safe."

"Be strong."

* * *

The waiting was agony.

Minutes turned into hours quicker than I expected. I remained rooted to that glass window looking for any signs of good or bad news. Every once in awhile someone would come visit me to make sure I was still standing straight, but they all left soon after arriving. They didn't want to intrude, and for that I was extremely grateful.

I never knew surgery could be so boring and so painstakingly long. From my position I could hardly see what was happening. Someone would move every half hour or so, and I would glimpse Shane's beautiful face for a second only for it to be covered again.

A bustle of movement caught my tired eyes. Blinking widely, the army of doctors surrounding Shane was in motion, moving objects and people out of the way. My eyes shot to the heart monitor. A straight red line stood out amongst the madness.

"No, no, no," I began to chant soundlessly. I wrapped my arms around my body, holding myself together.

They moved in another monitor, one that was to revitalize his life. I watched, worry coursing through my body. He couldn't… There was no way I would survive if something happened to him.

"Please, help him. Someone help him," I murmured feeling my knees give out underneath me. My fingers clenched to the bar, stabilizing me for another couple minutes. Many different things were happening at one time. I sized up the head doctor to be the one uncovering Shane's chest and painting some type of dye over it. Another doctor rushed forward with the metal pads that would inevitably send an electric charge through Shane's body.

The taste of blood flooded my mouth. Unclenching my teeth from my bottom lip, I ran my finger along the dents. I hadn't known I was biting it so hard.

"Miss, are you okay?" an elderly woman wandering down the hallway asked.

I jumped, startled. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I answered, "I am fine. I'm sorry, just freaking out a little bit."

Her old eyes looked through the window. "Don't worry dear, they've got it under control."

I looked back and saw that the monitor was now beeping green – stable. I let out a huge sigh of relief. "Thank you," I whispered, glancing up to the heavens.

"Just keep praying. He hears everything," the woman said and continued down the hallway.

I thanked her and thanked God and thanked everything that was holy. Shane Gray was not allowed to leave this earth anytime soon.

Checking his vitals one more time, I decided it may be a wise idea to head back to the waiting room to let them know what I just saw. Then again, maybe I shouldn't bother them. Yet again, the doctors would have to tell them what happened.

In the end, I decided to give them all a visit. I was beginning to get lonely, and the white walls were starting to close in around me. I'd spent way too many nights in this place. My eyes fell on Shane's face one more time. My heart yearned for his wellbeing.

"I love you," I murmured, touching the glass before walking away from the room.

Cait jumped up as soon as I entered the sight of the waiting room. Her arms engulfed me. "How are you doing? How's Shane?"

"He's stable," I sighed. "They are still operating on him though."

"Good, good," she said guiding me over to the family.

"Any news on Hollace?"

She shook her head sadly. "Not yet."

"I hate this waiting," I said sitting down next to Jason.

He instantly pulled me into him. "How's our boy doing?"

I looked over to the parents to make sure they weren't listening. "Well," I started in a soft voice, "he had flat lined for a couple minutes, but thankfully they revived him."

All three of them gasped appropriately. "Wait, here comes one of his doctors."

Everyone here for Shane rose from their seats and met the doctor in the middle of the waiting room. Stacey was the first to reach him. "How is he? Is he out of surgery?"

The doctor nodded, keeping a very solemn face. "He is out of surgery and stable." A sigh of relief echoed throughout the group. "There were a couple complications during the operation though. A blood clot formed in the gash across his chest that halted his breathing for a couple minutes. We were able to extract the clot and bring him back. We were worried about brain functions, but it appears his brain is working perfectly. He has a major concussion and will be in pain for a couple weeks, but the good thing is that he is alive and stable."

"Can he have visitors?" asked Stacey immediately.

"Just family for now and not for long; he needs his rest."

"We are all family," Paul said looking around at all of us.

"Immediate family only. He cannot be too overwhelmed right now."

Stacey nodded. "Paul and I will go for now. You all stay out here and wait for news on Hollace."

The couple left with the doctor, and everyone returned to their seats with lighter hearts than before. I sat next to Jason, anxiously tapping my toes. I needed to see his face to know he was truly alive and alright.

It felt like they were gone for hours.

When Stacey rounded the corner some time later, I felt my heart thump loudly against my chest. Through the tiredness on her face, she looked somewhat thankful and happy. That was definitely a good sign. We all crowded around them, waiting to hear about Shane.

Stacey's eyes stayed on me. "He's asking for you."

"Am I allowed to see him?" I asked quickly.

She nodded. "Just be discreet. He's in room 370."

Slipping away from the group, I somehow kept a brisk pace until I was out of sight of everyone, and then made a break for the stairwell. My feet led me without thinking. Surely if someone would have passed me they would have stopped and escorted me to the psyche ward. I don't know what came over me, but I needed to see Shane immediately.

I reached the third level and took a quick left. 350…355…360… Only a couple more doors and … 370. The door was slightly ajar; light splayed out into the dimly lit corridor. Apparently hallways had quiet hours – go figure.

Placing my hand on the door, I took a deep breath and pushed. My first reaction upon seeing Shane was delight, but that was quickly replaced with shock as I noticed how terribly hurt he was.

"Shane," I murmured moving across the floor to his bedside.

His eyes flickered open at the sound of my voice. A strained smiled appeared on his untouched face. "Mitchie, I'm so glad to see you," he croaked.

Something came over me. Tears started flowing from my eyes, and they seemed like they would never stop. I stood there, a couple feet away from him, just crying.

"Don't cry," he whispered after allowing me a good five minutes of sobbing. "I'm fine, really I'm fine. Tell me how Hollace is. I'm more worried about her."

This made me cry harder. I moved closer and sat in a chair beside his bed. He instinctively reached down and grabbed my hand. He winced just slightly from the overextension. "She's not good," I said softly, tears still rolling down my cheeks. "She's in surgery now, but Stacey was telling me she was impacted most. Since she's so small…they don't think she's going to make it, Shane."

Different expressions crossed over his face. I knew those looks all too well: guilt, anger, remorse. He closed his eyes and gently laid his head back against his pillow. "This is all my fault," he muttered roughly.

"It is not your fault at all!" I said immediately. "You did not crash the car on your own. Some idiot couldn't stop at the stop sign."

"I should have waited, to make sure the coast was clear. I should have made sure no one was coming," he murmured.

I silenced him by placing a hand over his mouth.

"What, are you trying to suffocate me now?" he wondered jerking away from my hand. A hint of a smile played on his tired face.

"Shane," I said softly, "it's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself. No one blames you."

"Well, I blame me. She's so young, and because of me she may never get to run around again."

I crawled into bed next to him being careful not to tug on any tubes. We stayed like this until Shane fell asleep on my shoulder.

The next couple days were filled with highs and lows. Shane was released from the hospital four days later being told to take another week or two off from doing anything too strenuous. Which meant that he was banned from musical practice until he was fully healed. Hollace was still in the hospital and hadn't woken from her surgery yet. The doctors say they don't know how much longer she will last; they have her connected to a life support system at the moment.

Needless to say, getting back into school and attempting to be focused was a lot harder than any of us every imagined. The teachers kept yelling at me for staring off into space. Musical practices were growing terrible because Shane wasn't there, and Nate's and my hearts weren't exactly in it. We had so many things on our mind I'm surprised we managed to get through the next week of school without completely failing out.

The musical was looming closer than ever, and Shane still wasn't allowed to come back to school or practices yet. He was getting agitated sitting at home all alone waiting for news on Hollace or waiting for us to get off school to entertain him.

I felt for Shane. How many times had I been confined to a bed because of excessive injuries? It was not fun sitting around watching everyone else go on about their day while you could barely move without something pulling or tugging at you.

A week before opening night of the musical Shane was finally allowed back at school. It was halfway through the week, but he was excited nonetheless.

Everyone greeted him with open arms at school for the whole town had heard of the wreck. It felt nice for once not having the whispers be about me, but I still exited a lot of students' mouths because of my affiliation with Shane. Before he arrived back at school, the principal made it a point to tell the rest of the school that they were not supposed to bother Shane with questions about the accident. I wish he would have gone to that extreme for when my attack was broadcasted over the entire school… I wasn't bitter in the least.

I was too glad to have Shane back by my side and moving around. He was still sort of stiff from surgery, but all in all he was healing very well. His doctor even cleared him to start back up with rehearsals to the thankfulness of M.

We were a week away from our first show, and our progress that we had made before Shane's accident had practically diminished. M was irate.

She was running around everywhere fixing posture, scolding if we forgot one line, yelling if we messed up a step in a dance. It was torturous. It didn't help that little Miss Dana Jasper was making everyone's life hell without M being aware of it. When M had her back turned or left the auditorium for one of her famous cooling sessions, Dana took charge and worked them harder than M every did. She was relentless…except when it came to Shane.

She was extremely fond of Shane, and I think everyone in the musical had noticed. People kept giving me concerned looks every time she moved a little too closely to him. Grady even voiced his concern for me the Friday after Shane returned.

Grady and I were sitting in the first row of seats taking a break. We weren't in the scene they were rehearsing, and our legs were burning from the fifteen times of repetition on the number we just danced.

"If I were you I would want to throttle her," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth to me.

My eyes narrowed into slits as we watched Dana purposely put her hands all over Shane as she directed the group on stage. "Believe me, I wish I could," I said through gritted teeth as she tapped Shane on the nose. My hands clenched around the armrests threateningly.

Grady noticed and attempted to loosen my grip. "Stop, you'll gray easier if you stress," he said conversationally.

This made me laugh, and I felt my anger subside a little. "Thanks Grady," I sighed. "She just rubs me the wrong way. I don't like her."

"No one really does, so don't feel bad," he reassured me.

This satisfied me greatly knowing that I wasn't the only one who deeply despised the perky blond teacher. The production halted as the auditorium doors flew open with a bang and a figure ran down the middle aisle; it was Jason.

I stood up holding my breath.

Jason's face held a hundred different emotions that I could not decipher. He reached the edge of the stage where M stood. He whispered something in her ear. M's eyes opened wide, her hand flying to cover her mouth.

She faced the stage. "Nate Black, Shane Gray, you need to go with your cousin. It's an emergency."

The boys didn't need telling twice. They were jumping off the stage following Jason up the aisle. I caught Caitlyn's eye; we raced towards the boys ignoring the calls of M and Dana alike.

"Jason, what happened?" I asked once we were all in the hallway away from prying eyes and hopeful ears.

Jason stopped abruptly and faced the four confused friends. "It's Hollace," he choked, his eyes welling up with tears.

I felt all air leave my body leaving me lightheaded.

Caitlyn gasped.

Shane stumbled backwards and hit the wall, his body sliding down into a clump on the floor.

Nate look perplexed, unwilling to believe. His eyes were wide with fear, shaking his head. "No, no, no she's alright, right?" he demanded of his older cousin.

Jason continued to shake his head. "They did all they could. She was hurt too badly, but she tried her hardest…"

There was no way this could be happening. I looked around at my friends, every face holding the upmost grief on their face. This wasn't real. Hollace couldn't have…wouldn't…no. There was no way. She was so young; she hadn't even started school yet. It just doesn't make sense. Hollace was the sweetest, most adorable little girl ever. How is it even fair?

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this here," Jason murmured wiping his eyes. "I-I didn't know any other way. Everyone's at the house. They wanted me to come get you."

Jason turned and headed towards the exit. I wanted to run after him and tell me he was just kidding, that this was some sick joke; that Hollace was alright; that she was sleeping peacefully back at the hospital.

But deep in my heart I knew. Hollace Black was gone from us forever.

* * *

The slightly uplifting mood that had persisted since the grand recovery of Shane was instantly extinguished and replaced with the worst possible feeling of loss.

I could barely stand being at the Clan house or around any of the family members. I was taking the loss of Hollace better than everyone else just because I'd become so accustomed to it. That didn't mean I was upset; I was more than upset – probably more so than when my mother passed – with the young death of Hollace.

Whenever I went over to Shane's house I expected her to answer the door with her adorable smile and stutter away telling me of her day. But I had to remind myself that that would never happen again – that she was gone.

Caitlyn and I were getting ready for the funeral that would take place at the same little chapel my mother's service was held. Carmen and Owen were attending as well. They were being a great support system for the Clan during this hard time. They offered to help with the other children while they prepared for everything else.

The gathering at the chapel was immense for such a young girl. There were plenty of people there that I had never seen before in my life. I caught sight of a familiar blond, and then I was being engulfed by said familiar blond.

"Mitchie, Caitlyn, it's so good to see you," rushed Stella keeping a tight hold on us. "How are you girls? I'm sorry that this is how we had to meet up again. This is so dreadful. I didn't want to believe the news when Jason called me. She's so young."

I nodded unable to find words.

"It's really good to see you Stell," Cait spoke for us. "We've missed you. How long are you going to be around for?"

"I'm actually on spring break starting next week," she said with an air of excitement in her voice. "I think I'm going to stick around for most of it. The family is going to need all the help they can get."

We nodded and made our way to Carmen and Owen. They were already sitting in a pew a couple rows from the front. Stella decided to sit with us as the entire Clan was sitting together in the first couple pews. I caught glimpses of Libba and Rylee; they looked shocked and unsure of what was to be expected. My heart went out for them.

Right before the pastor stood to begin the service, Shane's eyes caught mine instinctively. He was sitting in the very first row between Jason and Nate. He looked more worn and tired than after his accident. Hollace had been like another sister to him. I knew how close they were, and it killed me to see him in such grief again. Laurie sat next to Nate with her head on Mark's shoulder; she sobbed gently. I couldn't even begin to imagine how she felt. Just a couple days ago she gave birth to her fourth child and now here she was burying the third. Everyone looked made of stone, cold and unmoving.

"Thank you everyone for coming and showing your support for the Black family in this terrible time of grief," the pastor said standing behind the pulpit. "They all are very grateful for all of the help they've been receiving the past couple days."

I clasped my hand around Caity's. My friend was beginning to tear up already. I tried listening to the pastor talk about how terrible young deaths were and how full of life Hollace was, but I just couldn't concentrate on it. No words would ever describe how blessed everyone was to have met Hollace. I let my mind wander over the short period of time I'd known her.

I would miss how she talked. I would miss the way she called me Mimi because she couldn't actually say my name. I would miss everything about her.

After the pastor said his piece, various family members took their turns talking about Hollace. The hardest one to listen to was Nate. He had loved his younger sister very dearly and to see him get all choked up – which wasn't characteristic of him – was so hard and yet so powerful at the same time. By the time everyone had gone through and spoken about Hollace, I had constant flow of tears running down my face. I know I looked a right mess, but everyone else in the building was crying also. So I didn't feel as worried about my appearance.

The service ended and everyone followed as the boys carried the small oak casket out of the doors and around the back of the chapel. I glanced up the hill where my mother and brother were buried and decided I would stop by after I paid my respects to Hollace.

As we were walking towards the spot something caught my eye. A mass of black hair poked out from behind a tree off to the right of the grave. My eyes narrowed protectively.

I nudged Caity and nodded towards the tree. "Are you seeing this right now?"

Caity's eyes followed and widened respectively. "No way, why is she here?"

No one else noticed the intruder which I was thankful for. There was no need to make a scene, so I kept my eyes straight and tried to focus on the pastor again. The boys placed the small casket onto the metal contraption, and once the pastor finished speaking everyone was able to walk up and drop a pink lily onto the casket.

I hugged every single one of the family members tightly. I lingered in Shane's arms having missed being around him all day. He held tightly to me, burying his face in my hair. His hand slipped into mine easily.

"Thank you so much for being here," he murmured into my ear.

"I'm here for you," I whispered back, "always."

Other people began coming up to Shane but he kept a tight hold of my hand. I smiled politely as people continued to come up to him and say a few words of solace. My eyes spotted the black haired trespasser again bobbing amongst the other guests.

I leaned up to Shane's ear and whispered, "Tess is here."

His eyes scrunched up angrily but relaxed. "Let me go see what she wants. I'll be right back."

I watched him work his way through the crowd but eventually lost him amongst the mass. I turned to Nate and Caitlyn not wanting to witness a fight that might potentially break out. I began to feel like a third wheel to my two friends as they were holding each other closely, consoling one another. I wouldn't have minded, but everyone else was busy and I didn't want to interrupt. So I chose to sneak quietly away and traipse up the hill towards my mother's grave.

The flower's I had brought by were wilted and brown. I replaced them with a small pink lily I'd stolen from the basket by Hollace's stone. I'm sure Hollace wouldn't have minded sharing one.

I kneeled down in front of the stone and sighed. "Hey mom, it's been awhile. I wish I would be here on better circumstances, but you see one of Shane's cousins passed away the other day. You remember Shane, I'm sure. Well, his cousin Hollace was only four years old. They were both involved in a car accident," I gulped back the lump rising in my throat. "Thankfully Shane made it through, but most of the impact was on Hollace's side. It's not fair, Mom. Just like it wasn't fair when Matthew passed." My eyes glanced towards my brother's stone sadly.

"Why do bad things happen to good people?" I wanted to know. "Why does life work in the cruelest ways? She was only four years old, dammit! She hadn't even starting living yet. In times like these I just don't see God. How could He let something happen to such a sweet and innocent girl? I know things happen for a reason, but why Hollace? Why her?"

"Oh Mom," I cried, "I miss you more than anything. And I wish you were here to help me understand this. I know I'm going to need to be strong for Shane. I can't let him slip back into that dark place after we've both come so far. I won't let it happen. I'm stronger, I know that. But just how strong can I continue to act when things like this keep getting thrown my way?"

I wiped at my eyes and found myself laughing. "Sorry I always seem to unload on you, Mom. I miss having these talks with you. Our musical opens next week," I started deciding for a change of subject. "I'm really excited but extremely nervous at the same time. I've never performed in front of a huge audience before. I think I might literally pass out when I see all those people staring at me. I wish you could be there to see me. You never did see me perform. I love it, Mom. I really do. Although I am nervous, when I have that microphone in my hand and I hear that music, everything seems right. I can't explain the feeling it gives me."

"I know you will be there with me even if you can't be there physically. I hope you and Matthew are doing well. Be sure to look for Hollace while you're out and about. She's small with long brown hair and an adorable lisp you won't be able to say no too. Please keep her safe. I know she is probably freaking out."

I glanced towards the mass still surrounding Hollace's grave and felt a couple more tears fall from my eyes. "I miss her already," I sighed and turned back to Mom and Matthew. "I miss you, Mom. Every day."

"I thought I would find you up here," a voice said softly from behind me.

I jumped and saw Shane kneeling down next to me. "You scared me," I breathed measuring his face. "How did it go?"

He shrugged. "She just said she had heard about Hollace and wanted to attend the service. She had known Hollace for awhile. I wasn't bothered with it. She acted normal."

"Good," I smiled softly taking his hand in mine. "Sorry I wandered off. I felt out of place."

His empty hand reached up and tucked some fly away hair behind my ear. His fingers lingered on my cheek. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax. "Don't ever feel out of place with me. You belong wherever I am."

Words escaped me. Nothing he has ever told me resonated as hard as those two sentences. He always told me how much I meant to him, but hearing him say I belong wherever he does made my heart leap in ways it never had.

I didn't think it was possible, but I'm most certain I fell even more in love with Shane Gray in that moment.

* * *

**I hope I didn't crush everyone's spirits too much with this chapter. It had to happen though, and for that I'm sorry. It appears I am unable to put a link in here, why I am not sure. So I will tell you all how to find it:**

**If you type into the search bar for author, Indie CR Awards, you will find their fanfiction site. On their page is all the information for voting. If any of you want to send me an email I will gladly send you the link. I also have a twitter and tumblr account that I will post the link on if necessary.**

**Voting is open until July 1st, so vote your little hearts out! And thanks once again, I seriously cannot thank you guys enough. It's such an honor to be nominated. So vote as many times as you like! And there will be more chapters coming shortly. Patience is a virtue.**

**xoxo love-jonasxx**


	39. Curtain Call

******Merp well, it's been over a year since I updated this story. I honestly just never had anymore inspiration to write more on it. But so many of you have been begging me to update. So I sat down and read through some of the other chapters and decided I would write a little more for you guys. I'm not sure how quickly I will update seeing as I'm taking classes and working on a million other things. But I will try my dardenest to finish this story for you guys. You deserve that since you all still want to read this after a year of being updated.**

**I seriously cannot thank you all enough for the interest you've held in this story over the years. You guys are the reason I ever updated in the first place, and you're the reason I'm back again. So hopefully this isn't immensely disappointing after waiting a year for it.**

**Thanks for waiting around for me. You all are seriously the best. I cannot express my gratitude enough.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Nine****: Curtain Call**

_**Curtain calls, there's no more alcohol**__**  
**__**As the rain begins you feel it soaking into your bones**__**  
**__**Don't let time be wasted**_

**Curtain Call: Aiden Grimshaw**

"Line up!" M called shrilly. Her hands were everywhere: fixing a ripping costume, replacing a hairpiece, handing someone a microphone.

Keegan wandered in her wake, going over the clipboard which was inches from her face. I don't know how she didn't manage to fall over or walk into something. Nervously, I adjusted the belt on my waist and faced forward. The thick red curtains were closed tightly. Although I couldn't see, I could hear the noise, and it sounded tremendous.

It was opening night.

And by the sound of it the entire school and city had put aside their normal Friday night plans to attend the musical.

This entire week I'd been a nervous wreck. Ever since Hollace's burial, I've been on edge about everything. It didn't help that this week was the most grueling of all rehearsals. We stayed on the stage until 8 o'clock almost every night, perfecting our voices and movements. Personally, I doubt I wouldn't have been able to sing without the aid of an herbal tea concoction Keegan invented.

I subconsciously sipped at the bitter drink as I watched the stage hands run around, preparing for the first scene of the musical. A hand wrapped around my upper arm. I jumped and sloshed half of the tea onto the ground at my feet. Thankfully, none of the liquid dripped onto my costume. M would have my head if I dirtied myself now.

"You're too jumpy still," Shane's voice murmured at my ear. "I don't like it."

My body relaxed back into his. I felt his strong arms encircle my waist, his head resting on my shoulder. "Well, if someone would just announce their arrival rather than sneaking up, I wouldn't jump out of my skin."

"Shane Gray present," he said.

I laughed and twisted in his arms.

His beautiful blue-brown eyes held a light I hadn't seen in them since Hollace. It delighted me to see him show some emotion of happiness.

"Are you excited?" he asked.

"More like completely petrified. I know I'm going to fall off the stage on that one dance number. I get way too close to the edge."

"You're going to be perfect. Quit your worrying."

"Easy for you to say," I huffed. "You're a natural at this performing stuff."

He chuckled easily.

"Mitchie!"

I broke away from Shane's embrace. Caitlyn hurried over to us. She looked like she was about to rob a bank in her all-black get-up – perks of being a stage hand.

"Mom wants to talk to you before you go on," she said, dragging me away from Shane. "You must be quick. Curtain call is in five minutes."

I didn't even have a chance to say anything to Shane. Cait ushered me out into the hallway behind the stage. All the "dressing rooms" were back there, and only a few stragglers were still walking around in hair curlers.

"She's at the end of the hallway," Cait pointed and proceeded to yell at a few extras that they needed to be in costume twenty minutes ago.

I laughed and wandered down the hallway. My curiosity of why Carmen wanted to see me was at an all-time high. I'd just seen her a few hours ago before Cait and I left for the school. She and Owen had made a delicious pre-performance dinner consisting of my favorite – macaroni and cheese. Unfortunately, I barely ate any of it because of nerves. I figured people didn't want to see yellow noodles all over the floor after I opened my mouth to sing my first song.

Carmen spotted me before I saw her. She stood from the bench, an enormous bouquet of flowers in her arms.

My hand flew to my mouth in shock.

"I know they usually wait to give flowers until after the performance, but I wanted to talk to you beforehand," Carmen said, handing me the assortment of lilies.

"Carmen, you didn't have to get me flowers at all."

She smiled. "I wanted to."

I felt a speech coming.

"How're feeling?"

"Completely terrified if I'm going to be honest."

"Nerves are always good. I know once you get out there you'll shine though. There's no need to worry."

"That's what everyone keeps saying," I grumbled, sticking my nose amongst the potent flowers.

She hesitated, giving me a sad smile. "I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you."

"Carmen," I started. I'd already had my makeup done three times because I kept having nervous sweats. I didn't need to add crying to that list.

"Let me just say this," she continued. "I've known you since you were a baby, and I don't think I've ever seen someone grow into such a beautiful young woman. If you're mother were here today, she would be so unbelievably proud of you. I know you miss her a lot, and I don't like bringing it up with you because it's all still so fresh. I know she would have loved to be here to witness your first production. So, I put it upon myself to act as if she was here.

Tears started forming at the corners of my eyes. I placed my finger at the corner, hoping to stop the water before it fell.

"You've become such a strong and confident young lady. I can't tell you how proud of you both Owen and I are, even Caitlyn. You've truly blossomed, and I know you're going to blow everyone away tonight. I just want you to know, I'm always thinking about you. I hope you know you can come to me with anything you ever need. I can never replace your mother, but I don't want you to continue life without some type of mother figure."

I cut off Carmen by throwing myself at her. M was going to kill me when she saw my face. "I don't think you'll understand how grateful I am for everything you and Owen do for me. You really didn't have to do all of this. I know how you feel about me."

"I just wanted to make your opening night special," Carmen said, wiping at her own tears.

"You definitely did. Thank you so much for this."

A loud tone echoed in the now deserted hallway.

I glanced behind me. "That's my cue to get ready. I'll see you and Owen afterwards."

"Knock 'em dead, Mitch. And just remember, your mom's here with you tonight. Right here," she said, placing her hand over my heart. "She's always with you."

I gave her one last watery smile and raced down the hallway. Cait caught sight of me and sighed loudly. She pulled me into a dressing chair and quickly redid the damage.

"I told her to wait until after," she said, patting more blush on my cheeks. "I knew this would happen. She can never hold her emotions for things like this."

"She's great. Don't ever take it for granted."

Caitlyn's face softened. "I don't. You're ready. Now please go blow everyone away so I can stop having to convince you how amazing you are."

I pulled her into a hug. "Thanks Cait. I don't know what I would do without you."

"You'd be missing your own performance," she laughed, pushing me toward the rising curtains. "Just remember, smile wide and sing big. It's your night."

_It's my night_, I thought as the curtains cleared the floor and applause and lights blinded me.

* * *

As the musical progressed, I found my confidence building tremendously. I was a little timid once the curtains first rose, but I found myself not thinking of the audience and focused on the notes and lines and moves. Grady also helped me through the first few scenes by being so carelessly laid-back. He was a natural, and I found myself playing off his easy-going nature.

Only when there was laughter or clapping did I realize that we had an audience. It felt like we were back in the empty auditorium rehearsing like any other day. I completely lost myself in the music and story. As soon as Shane and I were on stage for the first time, there was an electrified vibe hanging in the air. The entire auditorium must have felt it.

Although I was playing a character that gradually fell in love with Shane's, I just pictured it as the two of us. That made it easier and more believable. I sang the songs with such emotion that I'm sure I would have been embarrassed if I gave myself the chance to think like that. But, I realized, as a performer, you must forget yourself outside the production. All that mattered was the music and the moves, nothing else.

At intermission, I bounded off the stage after one of our harder dance numbers, panting and exhilarated. Caitlyn was the first face I saw. Her headset dangled around her neck as she dove at me.

"You're absolutely brilliant! I don't think there was a dry face in the house after that one song," she said quickly, pulling the jacket from my arms. "I can't wait for everyone to see the big number at the end. That will steal the show, no doubt."

I felt my feet leave the ground.

"I wish I would've known you were such a good actress," Shane said. "I would have made you act years ago. Our productions would be packed every night."

I rolled my eyes.

Nate walked up behind Shane, a smile on his face. I instantly smiled at the sight of his smile. I knew how hard it was for him to be here and to be happy, but he was really putting an effort forth for the sake of the musical. I really admired him.

I hugged him tightly. "You sounded great."

"I messed up the steps on that one song. I went right instead of left."

Shane clapped him on the back. "I don't think anyone noticed. Everyone's too enthralled with Mitchie that everyone else is completely irrelevant."

I slapped him in the chest. "Stop it. You all sound ridiculous. I'm not that good."

M clapped her hands loudly, waving the crowd to her. All the cast and crew surrounded her waiting for instructions. "I'm very pleased with the first half. It's gone way over my expectations. Everyone really stepped up for opening night. I want us to finish strong though. We've got three big numbers left to do. Now is not the time to slack off. How's everyone's voices feeling?"

We all nodded that we were fine.

"Excellent. Take a quick water break. There's fruit in the hallway if you're hungry. Drink tea if nothing else. Keep those vocal cords loose. Curtains go back up in seven minutes."

Everyone dispersed, heading in different directions. I wandered over to the water table with my friends. Shane continued a running commentary of the reactions of the crowd for our amusement. It had Nate laughing and that's all that mattered.

I guzzled back a half bottle of water before switching over to the tea. How I wished for a nice cold glass of chocolate milk right now. I quietly watched my friends continue to banter back and forth. I enjoyed seeing them all somewhat happy.

My mind drifted off. Fiddling with my hands, I kept thinking about my mother. What Carmen had told me stuck with me the entire time. I wished more than anything that she could see me today – happy, strong, and successful. Glancing up, I silently thanked my mother for pushing me to be the person I am today.

Shane's hand slipped into mine. "What are you thinking about?"

Caitlyn and Nate were standing with a few other students by the curtains. I looked up into those eyes of his. "My mom."

Knowing passed across his face. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "She would be so proud of you. I know I am."

My heart expanded.

"Two minutes until curtain!" M's voice rang.

Dana hurried passed us, an overzealous smile plastered on her face. "Come on you two, get to your places."

We ignored her, and she had to saunter off, looking slightly rejected. I turned my entire focus on Shane. "Let's give this last part something the audience won't ever forget."

His smile grew. "I couldn't have said it better myself."

We separated and went to our respective corners of the stage. We were about to perform the scene where my character tells the rest of the group that Shane's character's only doing the performance for the money. The scene was a lot of fun because Shane and I got to have it out on the stage. The scene I was most nervous for was the final big dance number.

I needed to be spot-on perfect for it.

My feet hurt from all the dancing, but I kept on moving. My voice carried throughout the auditorium. I saw people nodding their heads along to the beat and couldn't help but smile. These people, the sold-out auditorium, were all here watching me perform and seemingly enjoying themselves. Adrenaline pumped through my entire body, igniting me on fire. If this is what performing felt like I wanted to do it all the time. I couldn't imagine a better rush than this.

My line ended, and I paused to look at my cast mates. Everyone looked happy and perfectly normal. My eyes fell upon Shane. He was saying lines with another one of the actors, but I could tell by his facial expressions that he loved this – just as much as I did. He caught my eye just as he was turning into a spin. He gave me slightest of winks. Smiling idiotically, I moved back into the middle of the stage ready for the biggest scene of the night.

I paused with my head bent, waiting for the music to cue up. A swell of guitars rose from the sound pit. The beat pulsed through me. Slowly, I raised my head, leveling with the many eyes staring at me. All the faces waited anxiously for my voice.

I never felt more alive than right now.

* * *

"One more time for our wonderful crew!" Dana shouted. She stood on the side of the stage as the crew members all bowed.

After the clapping subsided, the crew members retreated behind the scenes, and the actors took to the stage a couple at a time. Shane and I were poised to go last since we were the leads of the musical. His hand found mine as we waited at the end of the line behind the edge of the curtain. My body was still buzzing with excitement from the completion of my first ever production. Without sounding conceited, I'd have to say it went spectacularly well.

"You absolutely stole the show," Shane whispered in my ear.

I tilted my face up to his, our lips inches apart. "Not completely," I said before leaning in and placing a well-deserved kiss on his lips.

His free hand found the back of my head, wrapping his long fingers through my hair. I steadied my body against his. The combination of adrenaline and kissing him was doing wonders to my head.

Caitlyn came up and knocked us both on the back of the head. "Save it for later," she joked, "you're wanted on stage."

Reluctantly breaking apart, we walked hand-in-hand through the curtains.

"And our leading lady and man, Mitchie Torres and Shane Gray!" Dana cheered.

We stepped to the front of the stage, filling in the last spots in the very middle. We bowed for a couple minutes before falling back in line with the rest of our friends. We all joined hands and made one obnoxiously long bow before retreating behind the curtain.

The clapping and cheers continued for a good five minutes after we left the stage. I couldn't believe it. The disbelief in having completed an actual performance hadn't yet dawned on me. I was still in shock from being able to perform in front of everyone.

Back stage, people brushed passed me in all directions. Families congratulated their sons or daughters, hugging them and presenting them with gifts. I watched as my fellow classmates greeted their parents and siblings. Some received flowers; others received balloons. The smile had yet to leave my face even though I felt slightly distanced with all the proud parents around me. I let my eyes flicker toward the ceiling, the smile widening. My mother might not have been physically present tonight, but there's no doubt in my mind that she wasn't watching.

A movement far off at the end of the hall caught my eyes as I returned to gazing at my cast mates. The darkened figure flitted passed the walkway heading in the opposite direction toward the middle of the school. Curiosity and fear mixed into my happy façade. It had been days since I last thought of any dark figure or threatening person. There had been too many other distractions for me to even worry about those potentials. Now that I stood quietly by myself away from all the noise being generated by the crowd, my mind started working through that paranoia again.

There's absolutely no way my father could be here or was here. Everyone knows what he looks like, and I can't imagine anyone would let him into this school. I kept telling myself that he wasn't here, that he was in some other state, far away from hurting me. The more I repeated it to myself the more I started to believe it. Finally, I completely pushed the thought out of my head as I spotted Stacey and Shane walking toward me.

Plastering a smile on my face as Stacey wrapped her arms around me, I still let my eyes wander back to the darkened hallway, wondering.

* * *

When I returned home that night, I sat at my desk flipping through my song book, reading over a few of the songs I'd been working on the past couple days. The performance had left me with a lot of inspiration flowing through me, and I wanted to capitalize on the momentary creative spurt in case it didn't happen again for awhile.

Reaching into my backpack on the floor, I felt around for a pen amongst all the clutter. "Come on," I said, feeling for anything that felt like a pen. "I don't have that much stuff." Having had enough, I picked up the backpack and turned the contents over onto my desk.

While I rifled through the folders and books in search for a pen, my eyes landed on a thick yellow envelope that didn't necessarily look like it belonged there. Stopping my hazardous search, I plucked the envelope from between two folders and held it up to the light. My name was written in an unfamiliar slanted script. I turned it over with curiosity, unhooking the clasp. Tentatively, I peered into the envelope before shaking out what was in it.

Thankfully I covered my mouth just in time to stifle my scream. With shaking hands I picked up the photographs staring up at me. There were pictures of me at school, at the funeral, at the hospital, walking down the road, working in the record shop. Pictures of me everywhere. Pictures of me with Caity, Nate, and Shane. A lot of pictures of me with Shane. One in particular had been snapped mid-kiss late one night. A churning sensation started in the pit of my stomach, threatening to spill all over the desk at any moment. I dropped the pictures from my hands as if they were contaminated. I noticed another sheet of paper hidden underneath more pictures of my face.

The paper shook in front of me as I tried to read it with my increasingly blurred vision.

_Just when you think you're safe…we're everywhere. Watching and waiting._

The paper slipped from my grasp as I clutched at my stomach. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. Not again. After the past few weeks, I'd mostly forgotten about the previous threats I'd received. I thought the person had grown bored and decided to stop bothering me. As my eyes slid over all the pictures and the huge daunting words all my fears came rushing back at full force that it nearly suffocated me. The pain from being beaten overwhelmed my body and almost made it feel like I was back at my house with my father punching me until I couldn't see straight. This pain was unbelievable because it was all mental. I couldn't shake it from my mind.

I started hyperventilating. I tried taking deep, calming breaths but nothing worked. All of the times I'd been beaten continued to flash before my eyes until I felt like I wouldn't be able to take it anymore. A small squeak from Jeffey drew me out of my stupor and to the puppy sitting patiently on the floor at my feet. Pushing myself away from the desk, I scooped Jeffey up and moved to the bed, snuggling him close to my face as I climbed under the covers. The lights remained on as I held my puppy to my chest, my eyes flitting around the room, wondering how on earth all those pictures of me had been taken. Finally, I pulled the drapes across my window and locked my door for an added barrier.

Although I was exhausted, there was no way I was going to sleep tonight.

Despite my fitful sleep, I was more than ready to get to the school and away from the house and photographs that taunted me. Caitlyn noticed my odd behavior the second she saw me the next morning, but I just tried to play it off with nerves and tiredness. She kept eyeing me during sound check. She didn't believe my lies, and I knew I was going to have to tell her about the pictures and letter eventually. I just thought if I stopped thinking about it then it wouldn't be real. With having gone without threats for such a long time, I'd enjoyed some of the normalcy that my life had returned to. And in one night, everything had flipped upside down again.

The production was the only thing keeping me semi-sane. Saturday went even better than Friday's night. The performance had generated a lot of buzz, and there were even more people in attendance on Saturday. Some people had to stand in the back of the auditorium because there were literally no seats left. The production went smoother and sounded more fantastic too. Everyone was still pumped from opening night and it carried over into the performance on Saturday.

By Sunday, we were exhausted but ready to give the last performance our best yet. The momentary high from Saturday's performance had made me forget the letter. And going into Sunday's final performance, I was returning to the normal Mitchie that everyone had grown accustomed to since my mother's funeral. Although Caity kept giving me a look like I would break down at any second. It wasn't helping me in the least for her to look so worried all the damn time.

"Mitchie," said Dana, coming up behind me and laying a hand on my shoulder.

My skittish nature had returned and I nearly jumped through the roof. When I realized it was Dana, I let out a slight sigh of relief but kept my guard up. Ever since that day in the record shop I hadn't fully trusted her intentions.

"Didn't me to frighten you," she said with a smile. "Do you have a minute? I need you to sign the card for M."

I glanced behind me and caught Caity's eye. She raised her eyebrow with curiosity. "I guess I have a minute. I'm not needed until first call," I said tentatively.

Dana flipped some hair out of her face and beckoned for me to follow her. I gave Caity one last glance which was met with a more questioning concern than curiosity. Shrugging, I followed Dana through the crowded hall, passed a table of refreshments, passed the vanity area where a few of my cast mates were getting last minute touches to their makeup. I was about to ask her where we were going when she opened a classroom door off to the left and motioned me inside.

The classroom was dark when I entered. My fingers reached out toward the wall for the switch but were swatted away. I whipped around just as Dana was closing the door behind her, covering the small window with a dark cloth. Immediately, my senses were on alert. Dana finally turned around, flicking the light on as she went. There was a new hardness in her eyes that I had never associated with her. That look was always saved for someone I knew all too well.

"Where's the card?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level.

"You really think that's what you're here for?" a new voice started behind me.

Twisting around, I came face to face with Tess Tyler. Her eyes were darker than usual with an excessive amount of eye makeup. She had on the same outfit as me which I found to be the weirdest part of her appearance. She was my understudy but wasn't required to be in costume unless she was replacing me.

"What are you doing here? What's going on?"

"You know for someone so paranoid, you're actually quite dumb," said Tess, pushing off the desk she was relaxing on and stepping toward me.

I straightened so I wouldn't appear weak. I may have been tossed around a lot in my life, but that was behind me. I wasn't that weak child anymore. I was strong. "You know for someone so lost in her own head, you can't seem to tell what's real from fake anymore. You're wearing my outfit."

Tess glanced down at her shirt, plucking at the hem with disinterest. "Oh, yeah, I guess I am. But I am performing tonight, so it only makes sense that I wear the costume."

My eyebrows raised as my throat dried considerably. "How do you think you'll manage that one seeing as I'm performing tonight?"

"Oh no," said Dana, stepping around the teacher's desk to lean her hands against it. I had almost forgotten she was there. "You see, you aren't performing tonight. That's the whole thing."

"What else would I be doing, then?" My heart started to pick up speed like it did whenever I started to panic.

"You'll be coming with me," yet another voice said from the back of the room.

I squinted into the darkened corner, my hair having risen at the sound of the voice. I took an involuntary step back and banged into a desk. The noise only caused laughter to ring around the room. My hands shook as I watched him retreat from the corner and into the light. The sight of my father nearly stole all my breath from me. He walked through the rows of desks with ease, never taking his beady eyes off me. He looked different since the last time I saw him. Being on the run had not helped him out that much. He looked more homeless than usual with his gangly hair melding into his equally as disgusting beard.

"Missed me darling?" He stopped at Tess' shoulder to pause and run a finger along her upper arm.

I placed my hand over my mouth to keep the contents of my stomach inside. Although I was more frightened for my own life, I couldn't help but wonder how on earth Tess got wrangled into all this mess.

"You look healthy," he continued, stepping away from Tess and toward me.

I forced my feet back, being careful to avoid the desks this time. I kept my eyes trained on his face. _Strength_, I thought, _you are strong_.

"Seems someone's been tending to you," he growled.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "I thought you were on the run, hiding from police."

He chuckled darkly. "Yes, and I have you to thank for that now don't I." He crossed the floor quicker than I anticipated. My cheek stung with pain as he pulled back toward Tess.

Holding my cheek, I glanced from Tess who was avoiding my eyes to Dana who looked positively thrilled to be in this classroom at this exact moment. She'd probably wanted to hit me since the first time she saw me.

"Now, this is what's going to happen," he said, walking over to Dana who greeting him with a long, drawn out kiss. I turned my head away in disgust and disbelief. None of this could be real. There's no way. I was going to wake up soon, in my bed, and realize I'm safe by myself. "Tess here has offered her services. She will take over your spot. She is going to tell everyone that you got really ill and needed to head home immediately. Dana will vogue for you while you come with me."

"You think I'm just gonna let you take me?" I finally voiced, my anger coming through.

"Don't raise your voice at me like that," he bellowed, making to move toward me. Dana placed her hand on his arm to stop him. "You're right, you're right. You're lucky you've got her around right now otherwise this would be going a lot differently. You're coming with me, bitch, because you belong to me. You've caused me enough grief and it seems I should only reap some type of benefit out of it."

"Benefit, what type of benefit will you receive?" He wasn't making any sense.

"I'm bored of talking," he sighed, grabbing onto Tess' arm. "You're up, sweetheart. Make it believable."

Tess kept her nose upturned as he pushed her away from him with too much force. She stumbled in her heels and almost fell face first into the floor. If I hadn't reached out and grabbed her at that moment, she would have. Our eyes finally locked for the first time since he entered the room. I pleaded with her to not walk away. She couldn't leave me here with him.

"Tess," I muttered.

"Keep moving girl!" He walked over to us and yanked Tess out of my grasp. She fumbled her way toward the door. "And you shut it." Another hand connected with the other side of my face, causing heat to build up on both sides.

Through the stinging pain on my face and blurring eyes, I saw Tess reach out and grab the doorknob. She paused ever so slightly, her head tilting down toward the ground like she wanted to look back at me. But then her entire demeanor changed as she rolled her shoulders back and grabbed the knob with authority.

"Tess, please!" I screamed as the door cracked open. All I hoped is that someone would hear me and come to my rescue.

But no one did. And this time a kick was aimed at my side along with another and another. The blackness was coming again as I slipped to the ground, my eyes on the closed door separating me from all my friends, from safety.

There was no way I was getting out of this alive.


	40. In The End

**I told you all I'd finish (: apparently how I worded it last time made it sound like I wouldn't finish, but I promised I would just for all you amazing readers. This is the final chapter. I am considering writing an ****epilogue. If I get enough feedback about wanting one I'll sit down and write it, but if not, this will be the final chapter.**

**I just want to thank you all so much for reading this. Over 800 reviews, 200 followers. I have no idea where I ever even deserved all these wonderful reviews. You all have helped so much with my writing over these years, and I will continue writing. This story is over. I hope it does some justice to the story. I have always been really bad at ending, so I hope this one doesn't disappoint too much.**

**Thank you again. You all are literally the best. Thank you for making this story what it was. This is all for you.**

* * *

**Chapter Forty:**** In The End**

_**All I know time is a valuable thing**_

_**Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings**_

_**Watch it count down to the end of the day**_

_**The clock ticks life away**_

_**It's so unreal, didn't look out below**_

_**Watch the time go right out the window**_

_**Trying to hold on but didn't even know**_

_**Wasted it all just to watch you go**_

**In The End: Linkin Park**

Dirt floor.

That's the first thing I noticed when I finally came to. An awful smell of rotting flesh soon followed my first discovery to which I had to cover my mouth to keep from gagging. Slowly, I sat up from the dirty floor to gather my bearings. A painful wrench of my side made me stop. I collapsed back to the floor, grabbing at the pain, wanting it to stop immediately. When I pulled my fingers away there was fresh blood dotting them.

"Maybe I'm the smell of rotting flesh," I said grimly.

"No, that'd be the guy in the corner."

Even though my entire body screamed no, I jumped up from the ground and scuttled over to the closest wall, keeping my eyes peeled in the semi-darkness hanging over the muggy room.

"Who are you?"

A small girl, no older than eight, shifted into view in the corner opposite of me. Her long brown hair hung down her face in thick, scraggly pieces obscuring the two wide-set brown eyes peering out at me with interest. She held her pale hands up in front of her, showing me that she was in no way threatening. I stayed securely in my corner. She may be little but she was still a threat until proven not.

"Who are you?" I asked again. This time my eyes flickered around the rest of the room. I saw the "guy in the corner" that the girl had referred to. My hand flew to my mouth again as I looked at the guy lying on his side, eyes wide, mouth hanging open, with flies circling his decaying body. Dried blood stained the floor underneath him.

"You're different than I imagined you to be," the girl said, drawing to full height, which wasn't very tall, and stepping toward me.

"Different?" I said, trying to hide the nervous twitch in my throat. "What would you ever have imagined me as?"

She continued her slow stepping, keeping her hands out in front of her. "More like me."

I raised my eyebrows and stopped the fidgeting of my hands to look up at her fully. Her skin was sickly white like she hadn't seen the sun properly in months. Blue veins swam underneath the pasty surface that I almost feared her skin was so thin that it would disintegrate away if touched improperly.

"Why would I be like you?"

The girl paused once she reached me, crouching down so that her hallowed looking face was inches from mine. I held my breath as she peered at me unblinkingly. "Isn't it obvious?"

I shook my head.

She sat back on her haunches, continuing to gaze at me with unwavering eyes.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Mel."

"Well, I guess it's nice to meet you. I'm Mitchie."

"I know," she said, sitting down on the floor and placing her hands in her lap. All the sudden she seemed much more comfortable in my presence, not that she was ever uncomfortable with me. Her wide eyes told me she was much more interested in just looking at me than actually saying anything which bothered me slightly.

"How do you know me? Why are we here?"

"Oh, this is where I live."

I looked around at the room again. There were no windows and only one door that stood at the top of a long staircase. The walls were made of gray cement and held a faint trace of mildew and grime. A small bed made of a thin sheet covering two lumpy pillows sat against the far wall. It looked more like a dog bed than a bed for a person let alone a child. One chair stood in the middle of the room, not far from where the dead man was currently lying. Other than that the room held no trace of it actually being livable. The only place I could think of that we would be was a basement. But a basement of where, I had no clue.

"Why would you live here? It's a bit dirty. Do dead people usually live in your house?"

A small giggle escaped her mouth, and for the first time, I thought of her as a little girl, not some boarded up freak in a basement. "Not usually," she said, "only when they make Daddy angry. He will be gone by tomorrow."

"Mel, why do you live here? Why am I here?"

"This is my room. It's a lot bigger than the room I used to have. I couldn't even stand up in there. This is actually much better, lots more room to move."

A rumbling overhead stopped Mel short of her rambling. Her brown eyes shot to the ceiling, fear emanating from them. She trained her eyes quickly back on me, and then shot back over to her corner with the bed. The jingling of a lock rang from the staircase. Whoever was up there was coming down. I looked around in fear. There was absolutely nowhere to hide.

"I would pretend you were asleep," her small voice sounded far away. "It's usually better that way."

I struggled forward to the spot I thought I had woken up from and curled my legs up into my body, holding my breath, as the door above opened and allowed a splash of bright light to flood the darkness. The steps were loud, banging down the stairs without a care. The unmistakable smell of alcohol filled the entire room, clouding my senses and reminding me of darker times.

A shadow passed over my closed eyes and lingered for a couple moments as whomever it was stood over me, contemplating. Then a gruff familiar voice rang through the room, filing me with immediate dread. "Has she woken yet girl?"

Squeezing my eyes shut tight, I listened to Mel answer him. "No Daddy, she's just been sleeping like before."

I nearly choked on the spit collecting in the side of my mouth. Thoughts raced through my mind as I processed the fact that Mel was a child of my father's, which meant she was in some way related to me. I had a living, breathing sibling and never even knew about her. This got me thinking if there were any other random siblings hanging out in dark basements somewhere in Ohio or even other states across the country.

My thought process stopped as a swift kick to my side proved that I was still alive yet pretending to snooze. I kept my eyes shut tight, not wanting to show him that I was awake. Who knows what would happen if he knew I was actually awake? I do let a soft groan escape my mouth, that seems like an involuntary action whether awake or not. I feel the presence of a body bend closer to inspect me. Their cold and rough hands grab at my face, twisting it from side to side.

"Keep an eye on her," he said to someone behind him and dropped my head so that it smacked against the floor with a loud crack. Pain immediately flared up in my temple. "As for you Mel, I don't want you talking to her when she wakes. I will put you in confinement if I need to."

"I won't talk to her, Daddy" squeaked Mel quietly.

His large hand reached back down and grabbed at my stinging face again. He smacked my cheek in what he probably thought was a gentle tap but really could have rivaled that of a punch. "And I'll be seeing you soon, darling. It's been too long." His voice was close to my ear, and I forced my face to remain impassive despite the retching feeling that wanted to erupt out of my stomach.

The shadow lifted, and the footsteps were heard traipsing back up the stairs. Once the click of the door closed and the definite shift of a lock was in place, I counted to twenty and then opened my eyes. Mel was already scooting back over to where I laid on the floor; her eyes held no trace of fear like someone of her age and in her position should. It worried me.

"You're my sister," I said.

A ghost of a smile crossed over the little girl's face as she reached out to touch my face gently. I recoiled at first, back to the times where any type of advancement on me was taken for a threat.

"Don't worry. I used to do it all the time for Momma." She kept resilient and captured my cheek in her small, cold hands. Tearing off a piece of her tattered shirt, she placed it on my temple to clean off the scratch of blood that had appeared from the impact of the floor.

"How old are you?"

She sat back once she finished doctoring my face. I was briefly reminded of all the times Caitlyn had had to do the exact same thing. Unsurprisingly, I didn't feel the least bit nostalgic about it. I thought those days were behind me. And here we were again, with the looming presence of my father entrapping me more than ever before. He had me trapped like an animal in a zoo with nowhere to go and no way to leave.

"I think I turn seven this year," she said nonchalantly. "We never celebrate my birthday, but I remember Momma telling me once that I was born on a warm, spring day when flowers were blooming and the birds singing."

I can't believe she's only six. There was absolutely no way. She's slight, but her face held so much more depth than any six year old I'd ever known. I wonder if that's what I would have looked like if my abuse had started that early. My mind does quick mental math to realize that she was born when I was about ten or eleven. That timeline made sense. The years after my abuse started my father would be gone for days and weeks at a time. We always hoped he would just stay gone, but he somehow always ended up coming back. Now I know what he was doing all those times he'd left us. It sickened me to a complete other level.

And then her sentence finally registered in my mind. I snapped my eyes to her which only made me realize just how much she did resemble me, not exactly but little things like her eyes and the shape of her chin and nose. My heart constricted with sadness.

"Your mother, is she still around?" I asked.

Mel shook her head, which was exactly what I was afraid of. It's bad enough Mel is a six-year-old living in the basement of her demented father's house, but she doesn't even have a mother to protect her like I had.

"What happened to her?"

Mel seemed to let a small sigh leave her body before she delved into the story. It amazed me, yet again, that this child was only six. "Well, I guess it always happened to her. She was always leaving and coming back which didn't make Daddy too happy. He wanted her to stay in the house and not leave unless told to. She didn't like that very much. See, Momma was really pretty, probably one of the prettiest ladies I'd ever seen. She would tell me at nights that she was going to find a job and make enough money for me and her to leave. I never understood why. I didn't mind living with Daddy. The only bad thing was the constant changing of houses. Each time I placed all my toys out, Daddy would say that we needed to leave again.

"So, one time, when Daddy had been gone for about a week, Momma decided she was going to go out and maybe find a job. She was mostly looking for food for us to eat, since Daddy left us with only a few dollars before he left. She told me she would only be gone for an hour or so. I didn't mind. I'd just gotten a new doll. I named her Molly. She had these big blue eyes and soft blond hair. She was so pretty."

The tendency for her to lose her train of thought reminded me of a child, and that's about the only thing that reminded me that she was a child. She also seemed really detached from herself and the world even when she mentioned her doll, which she clearly loved at some point in her life.

"What happened after your mother left?" I prompted, trying to get her back on track.

"Oh yes," she exclaimed quietly, looking up from her hands where she was mimicking that of brushing her dolls hair. "Mother left, and it kept getting later and later. I didn't realize how late it was until Daddy came home screaming about her. He dragged her into the house, yelling and kicking and screaming. I stayed up in my room. I never liked when Daddy yelled especially when he was all red-eyed and sweating. I fell asleep at some point. I remember being woken up the next morning by Daddy. He said that Momma had had an accident and that she wouldn't be coming back."

I was near tears at this point. The fact that Mel had barely expressed an ounce of emotion throughout the entire story had me extremely worried. Children were usually more emotional than anyone else, and Mel had absolutely none except when she talked about her doll or got worried about the banging around upstairs. I feared there was too much mental and internal emotional damage to her for me to help her in any way.

"Mel," I heard myself interrupt her, "are you alright?" I didn't mean for it to come out like it did, but there was no other way around it.

"What do you mean?" Her eyes were wide again.

"I mean," I started again, trying to find the right set of words, "how are you? Are you hurt?"

"Of course I'm not hurt, silly," she said evenly. "Why would I be hurt?"

I looked at her face and tried to see through the obvious façade she was imposing. I couldn't find anything. "Why do you live down here?"

"Daddy said I needed to be kept away from the light for awhile. He said it isn't safe."

"And you're okay with that?"

She shrugged. "I just do what Daddy says. He always treats me right."

I continued my confused stare. "Mel, does he…hurt you in places?"

She popped her eyes opened, dropping her mouth down into a scared frown – the first real emotion I'd seen from her. "No," she said quickly. "He's very friendly. He would never hurt me."

And I knew. No matter how detached she was, there was still that inkling of fear that he would come after her in the night. I knew the look because I used to give my mother the same look every time he was out of the house and we didn't know when he would return. Suddenly, I had a strange desire to make sure this girl lived to see her seventh birthday.

"I'm going to get you out of here," I told her.

"Why?" She asked it more as an observation than as a question.

"Because this is no way for a six year old to live. You can come stay with me and my best friend."

"What about your mom? Is she gone too?"

I nodded slowly.

"Was she a pretty lady?"

"The prettiest," I said but quickly pushed all thoughts of my mother out of my mind. Dwelling on her too much made me incredibly sad.

The banging of a door upstairs halted us for a minute. We both held our breath, eyes turned toward the staircase, waiting. When there was no sound of footsteps, I realized that he must have left the house.

"Does anyone else live here with you?"

"Just me and Daddy and sometimes a nice lady. She brings me bits of bread when I've been down here for awhile."

"A nice lady? Who is she? What does she look like?"

"She has pretty long, blonde hair."

That's all I needed to hear. I knew exactly whom she was talking about. "Her name is Dana. She works at my school."

"I think I've heard her talk about you before. You see, I knew about you before I even knew about you. Does that make sense? They would always say how you were getting close. I don't know what that meant."

I shook my head, not understanding her ramblings. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. I pushed myself off the ground despite the swooping feeling it caused in my head. Spots of darkness covered my vision until they finally drifted away and the pain was just an annoying pulse in the back of my head.

"Where are you going?" asked Mel as I started toward the stairs.

Quietly as I could, I climbed each step, making sure to not step on anything that would emit too much noise. "Have you ever tried the door before?" I asked her.

"No, it's always locked," she said matter-of-factly.

"You never know. He could have forgotten."

I reached the door, took a deep breath while I reached out and grasped the cool handle. Counting to five, I twisted the metal but found it didn't budge. Damn, he had remembered to lock it this time. I was hoping he was far too drunk to remember. Feeling extremely defeated, I clomped back down the stairs, not caring if anyone heard me.

Mel waited for me to sit back down across from her in the corner. I rested my back against the scratchy surface of the wall, my eyes flitting over the contents of the room again. Besides the one door, there were no windows, cracks, or other rooms. It was a square room with four walls and one door that led to freedom. Our chances of escaping this basement were becoming less likely by the second. As this thought washed over me, an overwhelming amount of sadness crept into my heart. I was just starting to get my life back together, and he had to come and ruin it all again.

Shane's smiling face drifted into my thoughts, and I nearly broke into tears at the thought that I might never get to see him again. I don't know what my father planned on doing with me here, but I knew whatever it was, wasn't going to be pleasant. Just as I was drifting off into another world where my only concern was what I wore to school and what to eat for dinner, my dream was interrupted by the loud noises coming from upstairs.

I sat up from the wall with a start. Mel still had her eyes trained on me like she hadn't moved since I'd fallen back asleep. I would have stopped to dwell on the worry it instilled in me if I wasn't distracted by the noises. They were different than earlier, louder, more stressed. It also sounded like something heavy was being dragged across the floor.

I looked back to Mel. "Are you expecting someone?" I asked as the lock to the door jingled above. Our eyes flew to the stairs. I knew this time I wouldn't be able to fake sleep.

Instead of heading for her corner, Mel remained seated on the floor in front of me. Apparently the warning our father had given her meant nothing. I tried to push her away, to make it look as if we hadn't even looked at each other, but she wouldn't budge. I gave up trying because the light from upstairs cut into the darkness. I vaguely wondered what time it was. There were no windows, so there was no way for me to gage the time.

My head snapped up at the sound of loud footsteps. I had to control a gasp when a body was thrown from midway down the stairs and onto the floor. Mel and I scrambled to our feet.

"I thought I'd give you another to keep you company," our father growled from the top of the stairs, "since Mel can't seem to keep her mouth shut anyway."

I barely registered what he said because my eyes were glued on the person lying at our feet. I bent down to touch their shoulder and gently turned them over so we could see their face. My hand flew to my mouth to hold in the scream.

Lying on the floor with bruises and blood covering her body was none other than Tess Tyler.

* * *

Mel and I tried our best to ease Tess' pain.

Once we cleaned all the dried blood, we set to checking the rest of her body for injuries that would leave a damaging impression if left unattended. The entire time I thought how weird it was for me to be doing this to someone else when it was always me getting beat. It made it even weirder that the person haven been beaten was Tess. It didn't make any sense in my mind, and Tess was still unconscious and unable to fill us in.

"Do you know her?" asked Mel as she propped Tess up against the wall on her makeshift bed.

I nodded, sitting back to collect myself. "She's in my grade."

"I've seen her before."

My eyes wiped over to her. "You've seen her before? Where on earth have you seen her? I thought you didn't leave the house?"

"I don't," she said simply. "She's been over a few times with that pretty lady. I thought it was her momma."

"No, Dana is not Tess' mom. At least, not that I'm aware of." I stopped because who knows the possibilities was endless. If Dana was Tess' mom it would make sense for why Dana hated me so much, but at the same time, it didn't make any sense. I've met Tess' mom before. She's usually away for work because she's some famous actress or singer or something.

"She'll be alright. I think she is just sleeping."

The smell of alcohol caught my attention. I leaned closer to Tess to inspect. It emanated off her slow breathing, but it wasn't normal alcohol. "They drugged her," I said, coming to the conclusion just as Tess' eyes were opening.

"Where am I? What's going on?" She made to sit up, but Mel and I both pressed our hands against her to keep her from moving.

"It's okay, Tess. It's Mitchie. You should probably just sit still for a minute. I think you were drugged and possibly hit. Do you remember the last thing that happened?"

She seemed to register who I was because her big eyes suddenly expanded in fright. "Mitchie," her voice was scared. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen to you. I never thought they would actually go through with it."

Pushing aside all the anger I ever felt toward Tess, I took a deep breath and said, "It's alright. I know. Just tell me what happened so we can help you?"

Her eyes flickered over to Mel at the mention of a 'we.' Recognition shone in her eyes. "You, what are you doing here?"

"I live here," said Mel with confusion.

"You live here?" Tess was flabbergasted and regaining consciousness fast. "I thought you were just some random girl when I saw you. If I had known…"

"Tess, please focus," I said, cutting her off.

She clamped her mouth shut and turned her eyes back on me.

"What happened? Why are you here?"

Tess struggled with words. She looked like she wanted to fill us in but finding the correct way of putting it was troubling her. She probably didn't want to come off as a bitch, which is exactly what she was for putting them all in this situation in the first place.

"Tess," I said more forcibly this time. "What happened? Why did they bring you here?"

Gulping back her nerves, Tess finally opened her mouth. "They thought I was going to tell someone, so they grabbed me."

"Grabbed you? What even is—" I took a deep breath to calm myself. Anger was quickly building in me for not hearing what I wanted to hear. So I started with what I wanted to know most. "Tess, do people know I'm gone? Are they looking for me? Is Shane—"

Her eyes perked up at the mention of Shane. "They know," she whispered. "They know that you're gone. It didn't take them long to realize something was up. Dana tried to play it off like you had to head home, but that friend of yours, Catherin or whatever—"

"Caitlyn," I interjected, not appreciating the carelessness in which Tess spoke of my best friend.

"Caitlyn," she corrected herself. "Caitlyn knew better. She was instantly suspicious, but no one could really do anything about it until the show was over. M was beside herself, but I have to say I did your role justice."

"Tess, that is besides the point right now. You willingly agreed to helping someone kidnap me all so you could fulfill your nagging want to be the star."

"I know, and I'm sorry, Mitchie. You can't even begin to understand how sorry I am."

"I don't want to hear it right now. I want you to tell me everything that has happened since I was kidnapped. How long have I been here?"

"You've been gone almost a week."

_A week._ The reality shocked me. I couldn't have been here for an entire week. I just woke up yesterday. Was I really passed out for that long? That would be the longest I had ever been knocked unconscious. I looked to Mel who had her eyes on me, wide with interest.

"Was I really passed out for a week?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. You only showed up here yesterday."

So that was six days unaccounted for that I completely do not remember. That did not make me feel any better whatsoever. What the hell was I doing for those six days?

"Mitchie, what is it?" asked Tess.

"I don't remember," I mumbled but quickly shook the thought from my head. "So, what happened after the show finished?"

"It was a bit chaotic really. M was so thrilled with how the show went, but, as soon as we were off the stage, Shane and Caitlyn hounded me for information. They knew that wherever I was, I probably knew. I wanted to tell them. I really did. I felt awful about leaving you there with them. I never expected things to turn out that way. They never told me what they wanted you for. All they told me was if I wanted to star in the musical, I would have to bring you to them. I didn't think they'd hurt you…I didn't think they would…"

"Tess, you're trailing. Finish please."

"Sorry, sorry," she said, twisting her hands in her lap, eyes skirting all over the room, not looking at me or Mel. "Yes, well, everyone knew you were gone, so they started this huge search party. Shane wouldn't stop looking until they found you. The police, they came to me, asking about you. No one had seen you and I together before they took you, so it was easy for me to lie. I wanted to tell them, but your father, he threatened me. Said that if I told anyone what they'd done with you that he would come and kill me. So I didn't tell.

"As the week moved along, there were no leads to where you were. Everyone was growing restless. Police were searching every known place your father had been in the last couple months. There was nothing. It was like you vanished. It was killing me to see everyone walking around like a zombie, wondering and waiting for you to show up. I had to say something. I was going to come forth, telling everyone what I knew, but just before I could, Dana snatched me. She must have seen what I was planning on.

"She took me after school, I think it was yesterday, and now I'm here."

"Could anyone have followed you? Do you think anyone saw?"

Tess shook her head, locks of dirty black hair falling from her haphazardly tied hair bow. Tears shone in her eyes. "No, I don't think. I wasn't completely aware of what was happening. They drugged me with something."

"We've gone over that."

She picked her head up to give Mel and I a quizzical stare, like she had forgotten we were there for most of her speech. She seemed more disturbed than usual.

"Someone is bound to find us," I said, more for the benefit of my own mind rather than anyone else. "They must."

* * *

Once I'd dissected all the information I thought possible from Tess, I sat back against the wall feeling more and more defeated by the moment.

A week had gone by and it seemed like there had been no progress in finding me. It gave me hope that Caitlyn and Shane were helping because they wouldn't stop until they found me. The police would grow tired of the cold trail after awhile, but my best friends wouldn't stop, they couldn't. At least that's what I kept telling myself.

The three of us settled into a silence that I didn't want to break. I was exhausted. My stomach growled. I couldn't even remember the last time I ate, let alone slept decently. All I really knew was I was trapped in a basement with my sworn enemy and a sister I'd never known about, waiting for a punishment I was sure would come. The waiting was the worst.

Every time I heard footsteps upstairs, I always worried that they were coming down to us, to hurt us, or do something awful to us. But as the days passed, no one opened the door save for a few times when a balding man with a tattoo behind his ear brought us food. The man instantly reminded me of the one that had been plaguing my dreams for the last couple months. He would smile at us, leave the food, and retreat back up the stairs, never talking, never interacting. His silence frightened me.

If I had to warrant a guess, I'd been there three days, Tess two. We were growing weaker by the hour without the proper nourishment and lack of sunlight or exercise. Mel kept on like she'd been doing this for years, which, in all honesty, she probably had. She was more accustomed to this living than me and, more so than, Tess. I doubt that Tess had ever gone a day without proper food or at least a bath. I wondered if anyone was worried about her and looking for her. Would they think that the two kidnaps were coincidence, or would they be pursuing Tess more for the fact that her family had greater authority than anyone I knew?

My harried thoughts were interrupted by a smashing sound upstairs. The sound of liquid sloshing all over the floor was obvious. Mel, Tess, and I all stopped what we were doing and fixed our eyes on the ceiling before moving them to the door. Voices echoed down the long stairs, but no definite words could be made out. The voice definitely sounded angry and slightly impaired. I gulped back a nervous tremor as the steps pounded against the tiled floor, heading in the direction of our door. Tess let out a shriek of fear and scurried over to a darkened corner, thinking that that would help disguise her from the impending monster trying to make its way into our area.

Standing up, Mel faced the stairs with a defiant look on her face. Defiant for what, I was not sure, but I reached out and grabbed her anyway, pulling her away from the light that spilled onto the floor as he finally figured out how to turn the doorknob. His footsteps were slow and heavy, and the smell of alcohol was pungent. I kept a firm hold on Mel's shoulder to keep her from running to him as he stepped off the last stair and surveyed the room with bloodshot eyes. He spotted Tess curled in the corner, sobbing quietly, and merely shook his head at the frightened girl. Turning his eyes toward Mel and I, a new kind of emotion passed over his face – one of excitement or pleasure, I couldn't be sure but both made my skin crawl with disgust.

"It seems," he slurred, dragging the bottle in his hand back to his mouth, "that my girls aren't afraid of me, standing up all prepared."

Mel inched forward. I had no idea what propelled her to think pursuing him would be a good idea, so I tightened my grasp, sinking my nails into her frail shoulder. She let out a whimper.

"Mel, come to Daddy. I know you've missed me."

She lurched forward again. This time I wrapped both my arms around her waist, holding her against me and out of reach of him. Our father wasn't pleased.

"Put her down, bitch! She actually likes her father, unlike other ungrateful daughters who should never have been born in the first place."

I let the insult wash over me and narrowed my eyes at him. _I am strong_, I repeated to myself in my head. _I am capable. I am strong_.

"I won't let you touch her again," I find myself saying.

He stopped swaying momentarily to level me with a glare. "And how do you think you will stop that from happening?" On unsteady feet, he stepped toward us, holding his bottle out to point at me accusingly. "You think you're gonna stop me? Are you that dumb? Oh wait, you are. I forget how dumb of a slut you were when I lived in that awful house with that awful woman you called a mother."

"Don't speak about my mother," I said through gritted teeth.

My harshness was new to him. I'd only ever spoken up to him a handful of times, and they were always much weaker attempts than this. His feet stopped him right in front of my face where I could smell the alcohol dripping off his breath. I breathed through my mouth, trying to keep the racing of my heart from beating out of control.

His empty hand reached out, and I thought he was going to hit me until I felt his sweaty finger trace my cheekbone. "You're mother was a bitch," he said, his face right in mine, "just like you."

Without thinking, I released my grip of Mel and slapped his finger away from my face. It didn't take long for him to realize what I did. He reached out and grasped my upper arm, squeezing until I thought my bones would break. Mel fell away from me as he pulled me toward him and started dragging me toward the staircase.

I heard Mel yell after us as we descended the stairs. Through the pain exhibiting in my arm, I managed to turn around and yell at Tess. "Tess, keep her close! Don't let her out of your sight!"

"Mitchie, be—"

But I never heard the rest of her sentence. The door slammed shut behind us, and for the first time I saw where we were being held. It's a small house, barely large enough to be called a house, but there was a basement and apparently an upstairs because that's where we're heading. As he dragged me along the narrow hallway, my eyes searched for any possible source that could help me. No one else was around. I noticed a front door that had to lead outside, but, other than that, there was hardly anything that would aid me.

I tugged on the arm he held which only resulted in a slap to the face. I'd forgotten what it felt like to be hit so blatantly that the shock immediately rendered me helpless. I fell limp in his arms, making it easier for him to throw me into one of the bedrooms on the second floor. The first feeling I had as I fell onto the bed was relief. My limbs rejoiced the plush mattress and the soft blankets engulfing my body. But then I realized why I was there. Quickly crawling to the farthest part of the bed, I watched him struggle with a door on the other side of the room. He finally managed to get through and flicked the light on – a bathroom. He closed the door behind him, and I was off the bed faster than I could think. I looked around the room for anything, anything to help.

My eyes found a dark bag that looked like it would hold a phone. Checking behind me to make sure he hadn't returned, I dove into the bag, shifting through its contents. I was just about to give up and move to another room when my hand fumbled over a slight, square object. Pulling it from the bag, my heart faltered. Only a lighter. An idea sprung into my head. I rooted around the pockets of the bag until I found them. With fumbling fingers, I somehow managed to light the cigarette. The smoke choked me as I tossed it away from me in the direction of the bathroom. I lit a few more before racing from the room in search of a phone. Burning down the house seemed like a good idea before I realized that there were still people in it. I had just hoped that the flames would startle someone and that help would be sent.

My father was still in the bathroom, but he won't be for long once he smells the smoke. I raced across the hallway into another room that looked like it had once belonged to a little girl – Mel, possibly. What I had been searching for sat on the nightstand next to the bed. My hand clasped the receiver, and the dial tone filled my ear. It was the sweetest sound I'd heard in the past week and a half. The receiver shook in my hand as I pounded the first number that came to my mind.

"Hello?"

I wanted to cry upon hearing his voice.

"Hello?" He sounded distressed and tired.

I somehow found my voice and mumbled, "S-Shane, it's me."

"Mitchie?" His voice quickly changed from tired to alert. I heard noise in the background like hundred of stomping feet suddenly coming to. "Mitchie, oh my god. We've been looking everywhere for you. Where are you?"

I glanced behind me, still nothing. "I'm in a house somewhere." I looked through the small window, trying to make sense of my surroundings.

"Where Mitchie? Do you see a street sign anywhere? Any other buildings around?"

Moving over a pile of overturned toys, I squinted into the darkness, searching. Into the receiver, I said, "It looks like we're across from a warehouse. I see a park in the distance, or maybe it's just a field of grass. It's too dark. I can't see any signs."

"It's okay, Mitchie. We will find you. Just keep talking to me."

"Shane, I—"

The phone ripped from my hand, and I heard the disconnecting tone before I saw the hand coming down to connect against my face. The smell of smoke was evident now, and the flames grew wilder with every second. His face was rabid and slightly charred from having had to walk through the fire. It made him look more threatening than ever.

"Thought you could get out of here. Well you thought wrong!" He punched me again, and I fell to the ground from the impact, clutching at my face, which now dripped freely with blood. "They may arrive here, but you won't be alive when they find you. I've had enough of your incessant whining. All you've ever done is cause my grief."

He moved to kick me, but I kicked out my leg instead. In his impaired state, the blow shocked him, and he toppled to the floor. I scrambled to my feet, aware that the fire was growing by the minute. I needed to get to Tess and Mel before the whole house burnt down on them.

I was in the doorway when his fingers wrapped around my ankle. He gave one sharp tug and I fell to the floor, my face hitting the corner of the doorway hard. I felt the rip of skin across my chin. He pulled me across the floor until he loomed over me. Sweat, blood, and ash dripping from his face, he settled his body on top of me so that I couldn't move let alone breathe. I tried pushing him off, but he was like an unmovable boulder with all the alcohol in him.

"I thought you'd have learned better by now," he growled, leaning close to my face. He grabbed my chin in his thick fingers, disregarding the opened wound and forcing me to look at him.

I gritted my teeth to keep the scream from erupting out of me.

"Apparently, you still need to be taught a lesson. I thought we'd gotten passed this." His body shifted on top of me, making it even harder to breathe. He pinned down both my hands above my head as he worked his other hand down my body. My legs thrashed underneath him, trying and failing to get him off of me. He only laughed at my attempts and rewarded me with a couple swift punches to my stomach. The familiar feeling of darkness was coming to me. Dots impaired my vision, and I knew sooner or later that I would fall into that place I'd thought I'd left forever.

Just as the darkness was surrounding my eyes, a new noise filled the crackling of wood. I tried to lift my head, but it was too much, and it fell back to the floor with a smack. The pressure lessened on my body as he stopped his pursuits to look behind him and out the door. Even as the pressure lessened, I couldn't breathe. The combination of smoke and pain made it impossible to see, think, and live. But just as I passed over into the darkness, I heard the unmistakable sound of a gunshot.

And then darkness.

* * *

I sat up straight, sweating and cold. There was a tug on my arms as my eyes adjusted to the bright light hanging overhead. This place looked all too familiar. I wondered if I was back at the house until I saw a familiar head swim into my spinning view.

I couldn't help it. I started crying, and so did Shane. Despite all the tubes connected to me, he wrapped me in his arms, holding me close to his chest as he kissed every part of me he could find. When he pulled away, I looked up at him through watery eyes and touched his face, not believing that he was actually here, that I was not in that place or, worse, dead.

"How did you find us?" I whispered.

"You were quite smart with starting that fire. We had a vague idea of where you were because we'd been combing that area for a few days."

"Tess, and there was a little girl inside, are they okay?" I asked suddenly. They had to be okay.

"They're alright. Both of them. They are here at the hospital. Tess only sustained minor injuries, but they have the girl connected to more machines than you. She's extremely malnourished, and I thought I heard someone say something about psychological damage."

I sighed. At least they were safe. "What about…"

"Dead," said Shane without a ring of triumph. He only continued to look absolutely disgusted at the thought of my father. "He was shot in the back by the time we got there. Tess had found a gun, no idea how but she said he was attacking you, so she shot him. That didn't kill him, but the amount of fire on his body did. By the time the police arrived, he was just a smoked piece of body. They made sure he was dead. He won't be bothering you anymore, Mitchie. It's over. It's all over."

He placed a soft kiss on my lips, and I noticed movement around me on all sides. It was like an unspoken agreement that everyone could come forward at that second, just to make sure I was real and that I was breathing. People rained kisses down on me, but I barely noticed any of them, even the ones from Caitlyn and Nate.

I couldn't stop thinking. I thought I'd been done with all the abuse, all the trepidation. Shane said he was dead, but would he really stay dead? The past week had unearthed all the thoughts and terrors I had while living with my mother in our house. We were in constant fear that we wouldn't make it to the next day. And that everlasting fear had never really left. It had only been squashed deep down while I let other things in life wash over the holes he created. It will never actually leave me. No, I will always watch my back wherever I go, even if he was dead.

Death, in my case, didn't mean the end. More or less, it meant a prolonged silence that would never ultimately leave me. But would grow louder at times when I never expected it to, reminding me of my past, never allowing me to fully move on. And then it would subside, only to wait for the next opportunity when my guard was down, reminding me yet again why I will never fully trust anyone or anything.

Putting a smile on my face, I faced my friends and whom I now considered my family. All these people, all these tearstained faces, were the reason for why I had kept those feelings pushed away for so long. I turned my head to Shane. His face appeared the brightest of them all. And I knew, in that moment, that I would be able to get by with these people by my side, especially with Shane there. He would make sure I was all right. He would keep the monsters at bay.

At least, I hoped he would…


End file.
